Twin Horns

by Bluecho

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Crossover, Alternate Universe
Length: 1214

Special Agent Twilight Sparkle dreams of a red room, a dancing dragon, and the answer to the mystery she's been searching for. Twin Peaks Parody.

Twin Peaks Parody

Special Agent Twilight Sparkle was sent by the PBI to investigate a murder. As she sleeps in the wood-lined room provided for her, Twilight sleeps…and dreams. Dreams of a red room, a dancing dragon, and the Answer.

Cover Image:
"Snoqualmie Falls, Snoqualmie, WA" by Meher Anand Kasam - Own work. Licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons - http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Snoqualmie_Falls,_Snoqualmie,_WA.jpeg#/media/File:Snoqualmie_Falls,_Snoqualmie,_WA.jpeg

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-01 04:54:46 UTC

The Dragon From Another Place

Twilight Sparkle lay in bed, ensconced in a cocoon of white sheets. Light from outside fell upon her tight shut eyes and upon the thick log walls behind her. Crickets chirped incessantly, but she was already out like a light.

Lightning flashed. Twilight was on her side.

She sat on a comfy leather chair. The room was draped all around in red curtains, bathing it in a soft scarlet light. Twilight wore a suit.

Twilight was old. Her skin wrinkled around the edges. She stared forward.

A short dragon sat in a corner, rubbing his paws together, facing away from Twilight. He wore a little red suit of his own. His head was bowed towards those vigorously rubbing paws. The dragon shook with the rubbing.

“Rarity!”

A mare ran down a darkened set of stairs. Her mane and sleeping gown billowed slowly as the air whipped through them.

“Rarity!”

The mare, a unicorn, pale and waxy skinned. Waterlogged. Her head lying on a gurney, lips blue, her mane a mess.

“Through the darkness of future past...”

Twilight Sparkle, curled up on her side. Her hooves clutched the bed covers, her face contorted and disturbed.

“...the Magician longs to see...”

An earth pony mare, gray of coat, straight and short of mane. She wore a black jacket. Her left foreleg was missing. “One chants out between two worlds...'fire...walk with me'...”

Twilight clutches the pillow against her head, curling ever harder into a ball.

“We...lived among the people...” the gray mare continued. Her expression was neutral and unchanging. “I...think you say...bakery. We lived above it. I mean it like it is...like it sounds...”

Twilight shifts uncomfortably in her sleep.

“I too have been touched by the devilish one...” the gray mare said. Her hoof rose to the stump of her former leg. “Tattoo on the left shoulder...oh, but when I saw the face of Celestia...” The mare inclined her head up, ever so slightly, her even monotone jumping a few notes up. “...I was changed. I took the entire arm off.”

Twilight twitched in her slumbering, jumping a bit against the pillow.

“My name is Maud. Her name is Pinkie.”

A wild-looking earth pony mare, standing in a shed. Her fluffy pink mane frazzled and disheveled. “Maud!” She whispered, looking to the ceiling. “Maud! Can you hear me?”

Twilight squirmed.

“Catch you,” Pinkie said, “with my party bag! You may think I've gone insane. But I promise...” Pinkie was smiling, then gritted her teeth. “...I will party again!”

A mound of dirt, surrounded by lit candles. A bitter wind blew across, snuffing out the light. Smoke trailed away from the multitude of extinguished wicks, still warm wax dripping to the ground.

In the wooden bedroom, Twilight settled in her sleep.

In the red room, Twilight stared at the dragon.

Rubbing, rubbing. Shaking like a leaf. As if the little thing were caught in a dreadful storm.

Twilight, sitting in that comfy chair, many years older, wrapped in her black suit. She turned away from the dragon.

In another chair, a unicorn mare with beautiful purple hair smiled at her. Her lips were painted with bright red lipstick. She smiled at Twilight.

Twilight stared, confused. She turned to the dragon.

The rubbing stopped all at once. The Dragon from Another Place wheeled around to face Twilight. He clapped his paws together, then grasped a metal pole by his side. “Let's rock!”

Twilight watched the dragon walked over to an empty chair and sit down. She looked very grave.

The dragon sat awkwardly, then began rubbing his paws together. Lightly and slowly this time.

Twilight looked to the unicorn mare.

The unicorn, still smiling, brought her hoof to her face and lightly tapped the side of her snout. Once, twice.

Twilight tilted her head from side to side, her mouth hanging open in confusion.

Lights shined from behind the curtains that bordered their little world. The shadow of an owl passed over them, cast onto the curtains. A faint “who?” could be heard.

The dragon stopped rubbing, instead planting his paws onto the arms of the chair. He smiled open mouthed. “I've got good news!” he said to Twilight in a...strange way. His mouth hung open, cheeks turned up in glee. “That gum you like is going to...come back in style.”

Twilight continued to stare at the odd little dragon. She said nothing. Her eyes darted to the unicorn mare sitting next to the dragon.

The Dragon from Another Place jerked his head towards his companion. “She's my cousin,” he said to Twilight, casting a glance to the mare.

Twilight stared at the unicorn.

“...but doesn't she look...almost exactly like Rarity?” The dragon looked at the mare at his side, admiring her.

“B-but it is Rarity,” Twilight said, in confusion. She looked to the other mare. “Are you Rarity?”

The mare continued smiling. “I feel like I know her, but...” She squirmed, wincing in pain. “...sometimes my forelegs bend back.”

The dragon leaned towards Twilight, casting glances to his companion. “She's filled with secrets.” he said, in that distorted tone. He looked at the ceiling, smiling to himself.

Twilight stared at him.

“Where we're from,” the dragon said, “the birds sing a pretty song...” He pursed his lips, as if to whistle. “...and there's always music in the air.”

All of a sudden, a jazzy tuned began playing. The dragon rose from his seat, and began to dance. His body shuffled and jerked unnaturally against the backdrop of pianos, strumming bass, and the regular stamping of hooves. His limbs gyrated, leading him away. Lights began flashing over the room, creating a spotlight for him. As a horn blared, he made his way to the dance floor, a purple reptilian figure, dressed in red, with a ridge of green spikes adorning his head.

The white unicorn mare rose to her hooves, walking slowly across the room. She had a black dress on. Stepping up to Twilight, she bent down and brought their faces close together.

Twilight allowed herself to lean in, and the two kissed. Twilight's eyes were shut. When their lips parted, Twilight was smiling, but she frowned seriously when the mare leaned to the alicorn's ear.

She whispered softly, letting Twilight absorb the information.

Twilight's eyes were wide, and she stared at the dancing dragon. Lights flashed over her face.

The Dragon from Another Place danced, his feet sliding and shuffling over a floor patterned with alternating black and white zig-zag lines.

Twilight Sparkle awoke with a start, snorting. She shifted in her bed, eyes looking around her log cabin style room. She grunted, throwing off the covers. Twilight, wearing her little blue pajamas, reached and  turned on the lamp. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she grabbed the phone and punched the keys.

“Applejack, it's Twilight,” she said, hearing the ringing cut out with a click. “Meet for breakfast, 7 am, at the Library kitchen. I know who killed Rarity.”

Listening, Twilight rose from the bed and stood. “No...” she said, intensely, “it can wait 'til morning.”

As she popped the phone back down in its cradle, Twilight focused into the middle distance. Tapping her hooves against the table in a regular beat, to a tune only she could hear.