Equestrian Adventure 2!

Chapters

1: Lost and Found
2: Angry Dogs and a Friendly Face
3: Trouble
4: Frank
5: Of Naughty and Nice
6: Rarity
7: To Apple Loosa
8: King Sombra
9: Insanity

1: Lost and Found

Down in Tartarus, a figure lay motionless on the ground, a layer of ash covering it. Slowly, it began to rise with a loud groan, showing the figure to be a human. A human named Zach. Looking around, Zach took in his surroundings.

"Where am I?" He asked himself, as he started walking forward slowly, before suddenly falling to his knees, his hands going to his head as a great pain flooded through him. Groaning in pain as he wished he was dead, but gasped when it suddenly stopped, as he suddenly remembered everything that happened. "That piece of shit!" He hissed, as he started kicking random rocks on the ground.

'Pull yourself together,' Zach told himself, at least it felt like he told himself that, as he calmed down and looked around. Everything was dark and gloomy, which is what he expected from Hell, even if it wasn't as warm as he'd imagined. He could see a very faint light coming from a far away part of the underground. "If there's an obvious light, then there's something that's obviously important," he said, and started walking forward at a much greater pace. Not looking forward to a far journey as he mumbled to himself, but failed to look down at the slump that lay in his path and tripped. Cursing silently to himself, despite his urge to just scream those words out, he got up and looked at the thing he tripped on.

Kneeling down, he reached out and grabbed it, looking at the pink visible through the soot. Remembering what it was, he pulled it close to him, held it tightly to his chest and started on his way again. Not tripping this time, he made sure of that, he was well on his way towards the light, but he knew it would take a very long time to get there. Grumbling to himself, he reached into his pocket with his free hand to grab his phone to play some music. Only, he felt nothing.

"Where's my phone?" Zach asked himself in a panicked voice, as his hand grasped nothing in his pocket. Starting his search off by frantically running around, he searched through as much ash as he could in hopes of finding his precious phone. With time on his hands and the will to search, he found his phone exactly half an hour later, pretty far off from his original spot where he awoke. "I'll never lose you again! I promise!" He said, hugging it as tightly as he could without cracking the screen. Would he really need it? Probably not, just nice to have.

~~~~~Some time later~~~~~

Zach groaned, his legs screaming for rest. The light was so close now, and he swore he could smell some fresh air. 'I need to get out more,' he mentally noted, deciding that once he wasn't in hell he would exercise for once. Slowly but surely, he managed to push himself long enough to reach the light. Collapsing on the ground, he brought in as much of the fresh air as possible. It smelt way better than ash and soot.

"I made it!" He yelled out, pushing his arms above his head, pushing ash around while making an ash angel. Looking up at the light, he grew a big frown. The light was coming from a lock. "That's just rude of them, what are they trying to lock in?" he asked, mostly because he saw nothing throughout his entire journey, but got up and walked to the lock. Looking through the hole, he saw a nice calming forest, the sun shining down on the peaceful looking land.

Frowning, he backed up, and looked around for any keys. Not seeing any, which wasn't a very big surprise, he looked for any weakness in the door. Not seeing any way to break the door down unless he was a giant, he gave up and sat himself down with his back to the door. Breathing in the fresh air that slowly slipped in through the lock hole, he calmed himself, knowing that there would be a way out.

Deciding he needed to do something to pass the time, he raised the hoodie he tripped on earlier. Using his cleanest hand, he started to smudge around the ash. This upset him, since he wanted to get rid of the ash, not move it around and press it in more. After a few more minutes, his rubbing started to reveal a slight bit more of pink, and a new sense of boredom rose with it.

"Great, now that I'm done 'cleaning' this, I've got nothing to do!" He said loudly, slamming the back of his head into the door behind him. Slowly the door opened, letting him fall flat on his back. A new sense of anger filled him as he realized it wasn't locked, but rather the lock was just there to fool him. Maybe it wasn't a trap, and he just didn't try to open the door! Deciding that sitting there angry at his own foul of failing to try opening it wasn't going to get him anywhere, he got up, and started to leave the dark underground.

Once outside, he saw the damage. Over on the mountainside, a giant black blob took residence over what used to be Canterlot. "Well, that wasn't my first choice to go to anyways" he said softly, fear running through him. If Canterlot was over run, how would the rest of Equestria be? Continuing his look around, he saw a castle in the sky, which he noted was not there before. Not being able to see much more, he climbed up a nearby tree.

"Hello, Zach" he heard a familiar voice say, earning a scream from the unprepared human, as he was only half way up the tree. looking around, he saw a familiar abomination floating nearby.

"Oh it's you, ass hat" Zach said, as he climbed up the rest of the way. Now on top of the tree, Discord landed in front of him, so they were face to belly with each other. "So, what'd I miss while I was in hell?" Zach asked, looking up, where Discord's face was. Which didn't help, because the chaos god moved his face onto his belly.

"Not much, just us villains taking over Equestria" Discord said with extra emphasis on villains, as he sat in mid-air summoning a glass of chocolate milk. "Want one?" He asked, summoning another and offering it to Zach.

"Well, I haven't had a drink in a while" he said in response, taking it from him. Bringing it to his lips, he smelt something funny. "Is this normal chocolate milk?" He asked, giving Discord a dirty look.

"Maybe" Discord said, drinking the glass around the chocolate milk, then threw the chocolate milk away.

"I don't trust it. Besides, you sent me to hell, so why should I trust you anyways?" Zach asked, throwing the glass behind him, only to hear it explode. Discord threw his arm out, resting his arm on the back of Zach's neck.

"Alright you caught me. I'm here to kill you" Discord said, as he tightened his arm around his neck, and started lifting him from the tree. "You're the only one who can 'win', apparently, so you need to be eliminated" he said, before throwing Zach straight up. Flying through the air for a second, he took a moment to register everything that just happened. Before he could, he found himself on the ground, the air knocked right out of him.

"Alright, time to run!" Zach wheezed, getting up while struggling to breath, and started sprinting through the forest. Discord could be heard running behind him, but he dared not to look behind him, in fear of running straight into a tree. Hearing something hit a tree behind him, he remembered that Discord was capable of some very powerful magic. Not wanting to experience how magic bolts felt, he started weaving through the trees, avoiding them the best he could.

"You can't run forever, besides that, I can teleport in front of you!" Discord yelled, just as he teleported in front of Zach. Realizing what kind of a problem this posed, Zach decided it would be bad to stop and switch directions, and slid underneath Discord, leaving him with a confused look on his face. Of course, he hit a tree that wasn't too far behind the chaos god, and he found himself laying on the ground, with no possible way of getting away in time.

"I really messed that one up" Zach said, a look of regret on his face. Cheeks red and soot covering the majority of him, he definitely knew he was a mess. What made it worse is the fact that it happened in front of a literal god.

"Terribly so" Discord said, leaning over Zach and pinning him down with a foot. "Now I don't truly want to do this, but I have to" he said, as a fireball appeared in his hand. Readying himself for his demise, he started by drawing a little target on his chest with dirt. Discord gave a little chuckle when he saw it, and began his attack. It disappeared, which caused him to frown. The frown deepened when a little portal appeared, hooves popping through and grabbing Zach's legs. Just as quickly as it appeared, they disappeared through the portal with the human in tow, and it grew very quiet.

"You really messed up badly there, didn't you" a nearby voice said, causing Discord to slowly turn around, only to see Chrysalis sitting in a nearby tree, drinking a cup of actual chocolate milk. Seeing her really upset him.

"Yes. Yes I did" he said slowly, before snapping his fingers and disappearing to his next destination.

Author's Note

I've learned how to use this box properly!

It's as simple as explaining what the hell is going on if it gets really confusing. And I'll know what will be confusing because it will more than likely confuse me as well!

But enough of this, you've got a story to continue reading!

2: Angry Dogs and a Friendly Face

Colors swirled all around in his vision, while some invisible forces tossed Zach around like a ball, giving him the extreme urge to throw up. But he resisted, much to his dismay. With a bright light appearing at what seemed like the end of the tunnel of colors, he was blinded and promptly thrown out onto the cold hard ground. Getting up and opening his eyes, before immediately realizing his mistake, he released a pained groan before he started blinking his eyes rapidly to get rid of the flashing effect that hurt them oh so badly. Once that was gone, he turned to see the portal closing with a smile just visible, which came from a white figure that he couldn't identify before it closed the rest of the way. Thinking about who it could be, he could only think of two ponies: Rarity or Princess Sun Butt. No, wait, Celestia! That's her face.

Deciding to think about it later, he began to take a look around him and immediately recognized where he was. It was the outskirts of Ponyville, just by the Everfree Forest. Now carrying the knowledge of where he was he would be an unstoppable force! Unfortunately for him, snarls starting sounding from right behind him. Those would stop him. Not wanting to be a quick snack for the hungry predators, he ran towards the small town earning a chorus of howls from the beasts behind him. Seeing his house just to the left of the entire town out in the open, he took a sharp turn to get there without any delay, but it quickly got him caught by his pursuers. Forced to the ground and feeling a few claws catching onto his leg and holding firm, Zach flipped onto his back and got a full look at what it was. They were wolves. Or at least, wolves made of wood. Timberwolves? Bark? Tree Dogs? Howling Woods? Whatever they were called, they looked hungry for fresh flesh. If that is what they were after, anyways. Who knows what they eat.

"Alright, I'll make a deal with you five if you let me go," Zach bargained, which for some reason caused their snarling to stop as they all cocked their heads in curiosity, "I'll give you fresh bacon after I fix all this," with his hands waving everywhere, causing them to look all around as well. With the distraction in place, he got up quickly and booked it as fast as he could, which took the wolves by surprise. But he wasn't very fast, since it was from straight off the ground and he was stumbling quite a bit trying to just balance from the sudden shift from sitting to sprinting.

Of course, the wolves easily caught up with him, since they were wolves and ran for a living for God's sake! Who would've thought? But not a single one took him down instantly, which was very kind of them. Instead, they started messing with him. They were going at what looked like a slow jog, which perfectly matched the now slightly less stumbling human's pace, as they nipped at his legs every now and then with a wolfish smile all the while. Almost to the door, he balanced himself out the rest of the way and began a full on sprint, which was only slightly faster than before since it was just a basic sprint, but was picking up speed somehow. Throwing his hands straight to the handle once he got there, he opened the door and was immediately dragged away by the wooden dogs.

'How rude of them. Once the runner reaches the end, they're supposed to be safe from everything!' Zach complained to himself, grumbling as they dragged him into the forest. The fact that they got him to the forest faster than the time it took him to run to his house was rather surprising. But then again, he was being dragged by two of them and they probably didn't even feel his weight. Their teeth were now digging their way into his legs, causing him great discomfort. Could they just not bite into him like that? Save the biting for later when you're eating me!

Seeing a stick pass him by, he reached out and grabbed it firmly. Finally, a weapon! It's almost like he was in a game, since his first weapon is a frickin' stick. Why was he thinking 'frickin' instead of the word that almost came to mind? Without another thought about it being a stick or his self censorship, he smacked one of the wolves right in the eye, causing both of the wolves to drop him and look at the oh so terrifying weapon he wielded. First mistake: using a weak weapon against strong enemies, especially if it's the same elemental damage. Unfortunately for his 'weapon', it was chomped right in half by the wolf on his right. Thankfully this distracted them long enough for Zach to do absolutely nothing. But his doing of nothing was quickly answered to be a distraction for someone else, as a few knives flew from the trees, impaling the wooden beasts through their skulls. Hollow Wood? The two that were dragging him fell into many tinier pieces, in a cartoon-ish looking style as well, while the other three looked to the trees with panicked whimpers and angry growling. They also fell to the savior in the trees when more knives flew straight into their faces at rather fast speeds. Looking around the tree tops, Zach saw no one that had thrown the knives, which showed just how good they are at hiding from wolves. Alongside him as well, since he couldn't find them. Frickin' ninjas.

"Get up, we have to go," his savior said from the trees, as a cloaked figure fell from a branch higher up in the tree with a front flip, landing gracefully on their feet. They sounded feminine, he mentally noted. Trying to get up off his butt, he faltered a bit from the pain he had received after having his legs gnawed on for a minute or two. "Right, you got chewed up, pretty nasty looking too," the figure said, before reaching into their bag and pulling out a potion, popping it open immediately. They then poured it straight onto the wounds, which earned a sizzling sound alongside some smoke.

"GAH! That burns!" Zach said, crawling back and causing some of the liquid to miss and fall straight to the ground, showing that it actually was burning stuff. The ground was turned to a straight black color with a terrible smell following.

"Hold still you fool!" They barked, causing him to stop what he was doing, for he was scared of what they might do to him if he didn't cooperate any further. Now that he was done feeling the burning sensation from the rest of the liquid they poured, he could see his wounds were now closed and his legs didn't hurt as much anymore. Even though it hardly hurt to begin with until he tried to stand up. Now with the potion in effect, he started getting up to see if he could stand without feeling the pain as badly anymore, which he did so and felt that it hardly hurt anymore. Turning to the stranger, he saw them walking away.

"I don't know if I should follow, or go off on my own, or what," he pondered out loud, causing them to stop.

"If I were you, I'd follow" they called back, before they continued on their way. Deciding that it was obvious what he should do in this situation, he went the opposite way. Not knowing this individual at all made it hard to feel safe around them, plus having to follow them further into the forest didn't seem like such a good idea at the time. Who knows what else lives in there! He already knew of the cock a what what, but still. Breaking free of the forest, he started making his way straight to his house. This time he wouldn't be dragged away. Hopefully. Once inside, he locked the door behind him and began looking around, making sure nothing would be waiting for him. Thankfully, nothing was as far as he was concerned

Flipping on the lights, he saw that the house looked completely abandoned, with cobwebs in the corners and on some furniture, with a layer of dust on everything. Continuing further into the house, while keeping quiet for the sake of being silent, he found himself in the kitchen. Seeing signs of someone's activity in the kitchen recently, it made him feel somewhat uncomfortable until he saw that it was also covered in dust, which means the owner is long gone.....or worse. Shaking off the creepy feeling of him finding a corpse inside any room, he continued his journey through the house. Going through to his room, Zach opened it to find his room in it's good old dirty fashion. Obviously, since he never cleaned. Walking in, he failed to notice the tripwire that he sent his foot through, causing a rope to fly out, wrapping him up before hanging him just close enough to the floor for his head to smack it.

"Who goes there?" A voice called out, but got no reply as the now captured human was too busy groaning from smacking his head into the floor. "Answer now, or be incinerated!" The voice called out again, sounding slightly annoyed that their question was ignored. With his senses returning slightly quicker than normal, Zach decided it would be best to respond, unless he wanted to become a hot dog.

"Don't cook me! I taste bad!" Zach called out, before he was left in an uncomfortable silence. Hearing some shuffling over by his closet, he looked over to see another cloaked figure poking out from the closet.

"I recognize that voice," the figure said, before they left the closet and walked over in front of Zach. "I last heard it a year ago, if I remember correctly," the now confirmed male individual said, but his voice left some tingling in his head.

"Wait, I recognize your voice too," he said, looking at the figure and noticing quite a few unique features about him, "Spike?"

"Zach!"

"Oh my god, Spike!"

"Sweet Celestia, Zach!"

"Where's Twilight?"

"Wha-"

"Where there's a Spike there's a Twilight" Zach said, causing Spike to frown a bit from being the side character once more, while taking his hood off.

"You don't know, do you?" Spike asked, as he got onto his knees. "She's gone" he finished, earning a groan from Zach.

"Great, I remember now! She got taken away by Frank and his gang with some magical mumbo jumbo," he grumbled, before mumbling some choice words about that red menace. Looking back at the drake, a thought came to mind. "Has it really been a year?" He asked, earning a sad nod from Spike.

"One year of chaos, and only a few of us left, hiding in the ruins of any town or city that isn't in control of Frank," he said, before he started to cut the ropes with a few sniffles, "one year without Twilight or the others" he finished sadly, as Zach got up from the trap.

"One year of sitting in Hell" Zach said, throwing in his bit of information.

"You were really in Tartarus for that whole year?" Spike asked, as he looked over the ash covered human.

"Yep, which makes me angry," he said, before his stomach started grumbling, "and hungry too," he finished with a half hearted laugh, before turning around and heading to the kitchen. Insert awkward cut to next scene.

Author's Note

Note: The story will be somewhat self aware. Somewhat.

3: Trouble

The two played catch up while snacking on a few sandwiches of varying flavors and ingredients. Spike went over how he started a small horde, just so he could grow big enough to protect himself and anyone he had yet to come across, which in itself explained why he was so tall and buff now. Too buff... But Spike didn't hold back the details on anything involving the villains, sharing all that they've done and what they will more than likely do.

"So, let me get this straight," Zach said, before swallowing the rest of his sandwich, "they are forcing a crystal necklace on everyone they capture, that turns them into crystal slaves?" Zach asked in disbelief, before munching on yet another sandwich and got a quick nod from Spike. "And these necklaces allow them to look normal until they run into any pony that is not a slave themselves?" He continued after his first bite, before taking another one like a hog and getting another nod from Spike.

"What makes it hard to find out if they're friend or foe is the fact that each necklace is unique to the individual they put it on, making it blend with their natural color and neck size, alongside magical abilities and unique characteristics," Spike said, finishing off the conversation about the unfortunate fate of the citizens of Equestria. "But, if we get the necklace off of them, they are free. Simple as that," he finished with a sad smile.

"Alright, but how hard is it to get them off? I'm sure it's pretty hard if whatever you told me is accurate," Zach asked, before finishing his sandwich and grabbing the other one he hoarded away from Spike. With a loud knock coming from the door, Spike stood up, flames licking the sides of his mouth instantly.

"Obviously it's hard," the dragon responded, before preparing for whatever was to come.

"Spiiiiiike~! come out to plaaaaay~!" Three young sounding voices said from the door, causing Zach's eyes to widen.

"Don't tell me those are who I think they are," Zach said in dread, not wanting an answer to that half question half request, because the thought of those three fillies being forced into fighting brought even more dread to his mind. Never being one for violence being forced onto kids himself, since it wasn't good for children to be exposed to that at younger ages. With the sound of the door breaking down, Spike turned and grabbed Zach around the waist before jumping straight through the window. The sandwich in Zach's hand was unfortunately lost at that moment.

"You can't run forever Spiiiiike," Sweetie Belle called out, her voice echoing in a creepy way, like she was in a cave.

"We'll get ya eventually," Applebloom also called out, before all three of them smashed through the wall where the window was with terrifying ease.

"Your little friend isn't getting away either," Scootaloo finished, as the three of them started sprinting at high speeds towards their fleeing prey.

"Why would they force the crusaders to do this? Or any child for that matter? That's just too evil, even for Frank!" Zach yelled, pulling his leg in closer to avoid it being grabbed, causing the three to slow down from missing his foot. "We have to help them at least," he declared, looking up to Spike.

"What do you think I've been trying to do?" Spike asked him the obvious, hoping he would catch on. Before getting an answer, he used his free hand to pull down a barrel they were passing by which tripped Scootaloo, but the others were still hot on them. Not wanting to see the crusaders like this, Zach wiggled out and fell to the ground. "What are you doing?!" Spike called back, before he watched the crusaders slow down and look at the human. The stupid smile on his face explained it all.

"You shouldn't have done that" they said in unison, sending a chill down Zach's spine.

"Yes, I should've," he said while getting up, his smile struggling to stay a calm smile as he started on his plan, before picking up a rock and bringing it into a wide swing, smacking all three in the face while leaving a noticeable crack on all of them. They all threw him a glare of anger, before making a hissing sound. "Alright, maybe this was a bad idea" he said, giving off a nervous chuckle and letting the smile fall somewhat, before receiving a combined punch from all three, which sent him flying right back to Spike and flopping straight onto the ground.

"Having fun there?" Spike asked as he walked up to him, before picking him up and earning a groan from him.

"Shut up, I should get an 'A' for effort," Zach grumbled, before grabbing a rock they were passing by. With a grunt, he threw the stone as hard as he could, just barely hitting Sweetie Belle in the face and causing her to fall. It didn't last long, as she was back on her feet rather quickly and brought a hand up to feel the big crack that was now showing the void in the center of her. With an angry shout from her, she was back at full speed. Since he was too busy watching Sweetie Belle coming straight back at full speed with a scary cracked face, he failed to notice Scootaloo and Applebloom grabbing at his feet, before turning his body into the rope for a game of tug of war when Spike turned to help him.

"Let him go!" Spike yelled, pulling at his arms, earning a loud pop from Zach's arms.

"It's too late for him now," the two of them said, as they dug their nails into his legs while pulling, earning a few more pops from his legs.

"N-not cool," Zach wheezed out, doing his best to not be torn in two. Which was very hard. Who would have thought?

"Oh spiiiiike~" Sweetie Belle called, as she came flying in with a fist balled up and aimed at his face. This caused Spike to let go as he was sent backwards, sending Zach straight into his captors as they started dragging him away from the two who were now fighting. Spike threw a punch, but Sweetie dodged, throwing a punch of her own that connected. Now quite clearly angry, he began breathing out a long stream of fire, causing her to scream in pain and agony. Disturbing! It didn't last for much longer, as she jumped out of the flames, revealing that some of the crystals that formed her face melted over her mouth and silencing her. Spike hesitated when he heard some slight whimpering from her.

"I'm sorry," Spike apologized, before throwing a wide punch, connecting with her face, shattering her into tiny pieces. With her upper half shattered like a window, her bottom half wobbled about for a few seconds for comedic effects, before falling to the ground with a satisfying 'plop'.

"Spiiiiike!" Zach's now very quiet voice echoed from down the street, causing him to turn in that directing, watching Zach get carted away by the other two as he did his best to smack at them, causing them to divert from their path slightly. But only slightly.

"Hold still," Scootaloo hissed, before throwing a punch into his side, causing him to groan and fall silent. While Spike was watching, Sweetie had silently reformed behind him - but her face was still somewhat distorted - before she promptly jumped onto his back, pulling out a crystal chain that she then put around his neck.

"Time to be a good dragon," she said with a wicked smile that looked horrifying while slightly melted, all the while pulling on it harder and harder. Now struggling to get her off and to breath in general, Spike found himself in a rather tight spot. With a quick thought, a plan was formed and thrown into action, but it would prove to be tough with the kind of hold Sweetie was giving him. Doing a high jump forward, he started rotating mid air which forced Sweetie underneath him and slamming her into the ground, shattering all of her instantly. Getting up, he felt a few crystals sticking into his scales in the back, but ignored them as he started sprinting down the street, intent on getting Zach back.

"Deal with the wimp, I've got this," Scootaloo said to Applebloom, before releasing her grasp and running at Spike. Applebloom hoisted him over her shoulder with ease, before she turned on the dime and ran away. With Applebloom running as fast as she was before, Spike watched her disappear around a corner and probably away from him forever. With a frustrated roar, he threw his fist forward and connected with his oncoming attacker, sending her into crystal bits. Feeling a sudden pulling from his neck again, he looked up to see Sweetie Belle on his back again, leaving him baffled as to how she got there so quick. Bringing his claws to his neck, he tried ripping the chain off, but found it to be rather hard. It had been enchanted while she was down, blast!

"Resistance is futile," Scootaloo said, reforming in front of the now kneeling dragon, "you've given us quite the trouble," she giggled, before throwing a punch of her own at his face. It didn't connect, as Spike caught it in his mouth, before biting down and ripping it off. With the screaming coming from her now, he found his ears under the strain from the loud sound. Was he really that weak right now? Sound was causing problems? Slowly, his vision faded to black as he passed out.

4: Frank

Applebloom had been running with Zach over her shoulder for an hour now, but that didn't bother her. But what really bothered her was the fact that he was drooling on her back again, ever since he had fallen asleep half an hour ago. But that was reaching it's end, as her destination came into view, just a few minutes away now. With increased speed, she got there quickly and dumped the human onto the ground, causing him to wake up.

"No, not the pocke- oh, I'm alright," Zach said with a glad sigh, before being kicked by the crystal mare, earning a glare from him, "you're just the worst pile of crystals I've ever seen" he huffed, before getting up and turning around from his spot on the ground, giving her the cold shoulder. But after a second of staring, he realized that he was now standing right before someone. Someone all too familiar.

"Miss me?" Frank asked, followed by an attempt at an evil chuckle. If you could count random garbles as chuckling.

"Of course not, I was perfectly fine by myself and you know that for a fact," Zach said while dusting himself off, then promptly flipped him the bird, "Petey missed you though," he continued, while waving his middle finger at him, before walking up to him and rubbing it across his face. Growing tired of it, Frank smacked his hand away, before pulling out a red sword that looked like it belongs in Tron.

"I'd stop that if I were you, or else you'll lose your-"

"Lose my what?" Zach asked, interrupting him before he could finish while beckoning him with Petey. Waving Petey around some more, he pulled out his other hand, before the middle finger rose on that one too. "Don't forget George!" He yelled, waving both high in the air in Frank's direction. Growing even more tired of this, Frank swung his sword in a wide arc, barely catching both Petey and George at the tips, leaving a small cut on both. Now on the ground from the sudden swing and pain, Zach brought both his hands down to look at the cuts.

"Consider yourself lucky, but not so lucky!" Frank declared whilst chuckling to himself, as he watched him writhe in pain on the ground. "Now if I remember correctly, you were with a friend, correct?" He asked, swinging his sword around in a circle while watching his prisoner get to his knees, throwing him a dirty glare all the while.

"I have to ask you about what Discord had said, about me being the only who can defeat you. So you want me dead then?" Zach asked to avoid Frank's question after getting over the now dull pain in his fingers, his fingers hugged up against his chest, slowing turning it from pink to red in those two spots. The ash was getting mixed in as well, making it a little thick.

"That would be correct, as you're the, uh, 'hero', of this story. Everyone knows the hero wins, so I'm going to stop you before you can even begin to win," Frank said while grinning to himself, before laughing with his garbled laughter. "Who knew it'd be this easy? Maybe if all those other villains would just stop playing games, they might've won for a change," he finished his laughter, before kneeling in front of Zach, planting his sword into the ground.

"Don't think it's that easy," Zach said, before standing straight up and jumping over Frank, and started sprinting away as best he could. With a roll of his eyes and a snap of his fingers, Frank watched as Applebloom began her chase. Catching up to him with ease, she prepared to grab him, before he turned and brought his hand to her face, a rock held in hand. This caught her completely off guard, and sent her tumbling back with a shocked gasp.

"You'll regret that!" she yelled while getting her balance back and continuing the chase. Soon, she found herself in the Everfree forest, where she saw her target duck around a tree. Going around the other side for an easy flank, she prepared to grab him, only to see he wasn't there. Looking around the tree, she didn't find him sneaking around the other side and believed she had lost him. Until she heard a grunt from above. With her head turned up she saw him there, before he fell down right on her, one hand on her neck and another holding down one of her arms as best he could.

"How do I get this off?" Zach asked himself, trying to grab at the necklace hidden in the crystals. Feeling his fingers run across it, he felt a malevolent power flowing from inside, which caused him to shiver uncontrollably before grabbing it as best he could. Receiving a punch from her other arm which was now consistently hitting him, his grip loosened on it, but he quickly got that good hold back before starting to tug at it.

"Wait!" Applebloom quickly begged as all her movements stopped, but it was too late. Ripping the necklace off of her with surprising ease, he was met with loud screaming and more malevolent forces. Slowly, the crystal surrounding her started crumbling away and disintegrating as the forces that flowed free disappeared, leaving Applebloom, the real Applebloom, on the ground unconscious. Letting out a sigh of relief, Zach slowly got off of her before looking back the way he came from. Seeing Frank on a direct path to them, he started to panic.

"Oh shit, oh shit oh shit, what do I do to get you out of here?!" He fumbled the words out in his panic, since he knew he wasn't quite strong enough to carry her like she did to him. At this rate, Frank would surely recapture her and kill him. Dragging her a little further into the forest, he stopped at another tree and looked around. Seeing a small burrow under the tree, which was still decent in size, and instantly had an idea. Dragging her body over, he began stuffing her in as best he could without hurting her, then grouped up some leaves on her to conceal her all the way. Mostly. Once she was, for the most part, inside the burrow and hidden, he started climbing into the tree as to conceal himself as well.

"I know you're in the forest, and it won't be long until I find you," Frank called out, walking into the forest himself. Starting his search from their immediate entry point of the woods, he was dead set on finding him. It was all set out, he should've just cut him down then! But why did he decide to play it out? Was it just bad decision making, or something more? "I thought you were supposed to make me smart, fast, and agile when it comes to taking down Zach!" he yelled out to no one in particular. But he knows his words were heard, or else he wouldn't have said it. Would he still yell it if no one heard him?

Deciding to continue his search instead of trying to communicate with what would appear to be unseen forces, he heard furious tapping. Ignoring it, he soon realized that he had no chance of finding his target as night approached, and turned to leave the woods against his will. Much to his disappointment. After a few more minutes had passed, Zach hopped out of his tree, thinking over what he just heard.

"Who was he talking to?" He asked not just himself, but whoever might be listening in case they might give an answer. Also hearing the furious tapping, he ignored it, deciding it would be better for him to not know. Returning to the burrow at the base of the tree, he started dragging Applebloom out, only to hear her groan in annoyance.

"Just a few more minutes," she mumbled in a sleepy voice, before grabbing onto his arm and taking hold, her iron grip refused to let him go. Trying to get free, her grip tightened again, causing him to gasp from the sudden pain and discomfort it was causing. Soon realizing he was trapped, mostly by the mare that was now holding onto him, but also from his exhaustion from all the running and finger flipping earlier and decided to sit down.

"Why me?" He asked, before he set her head on his lap, treating it as a pillow for her. He knew she would need to rest, because she had done a lot today, even if it was in her crystal form. Leaning against the tree, he brought up his free hand, looking at the wound on Petey. "That looks bad" he said, looking at the now dirty wound. Slowly, his eyes started to get heavy, as he too began to sleep. Little did he know, he was returning to that unspeakable dream from forever ago.

5: Of Naughty and Nice

With a cute little yawn and some outstretched arms, Applebloom was finally awake after a well deserved rest. After she was fully awake and done stretching, she started looking around, only to see the Everfree Forest all around. Not knowing why she was here or how she had gotten here, she got up quickly while throwing her view all around for anything out of place, so to say. But she didn't realize she was stomping on something soft, which was now awake and not very happy.

"Stop stomping on me you crazy lady!" She heard someone grumble in a very angry tone, before finding the source of the grumbling coming from right underneath her. Seeing that she was currently standing on their leg, she felt bad for all that accidental stomping. Hopping off of the leg right away, she bent down to apologize and see just who it was.

"A'hm sorry, I didn't mean to," she quickly said, only to see that she wasn't looking at one of her friends nor a fellow pony, but rather the face of the one human she knew. "Zach?" She pondered out loud, wondering what he was doing out here with her, but shook those thoughts to the side before helping him up off the ground as he gave a small grunt of acknowledgement. Getting another look at him, she saw that he was slightly taller than the last time they met, but if only by an inch or two. Or maybe she was getting shorter, one of the two.

"So, how does it feel to be, well, yourself again?" Zach asked, which she went to answer, but hesitated and began thinking it over.

"What do ya mean by that?" She asked him, getting a nervous chuckle from him as he started thinking about how to explain it, but she noticed him rubbing at his wrist a little, which she noticed looked just a little bruised. "What happened to yer wrist?" She asked him, to which he gave a crazed chuckle.

"You did. Well, not you exactly, but still you in a sense," he wasn't making sense, just making her feel bad for hurting him. "Don't worry about it though, it's when you were.....uh, 'not yourself', if that helps. But I stopped that from ever happening again, uh, hopefully," he still wasn't making sense, but at least he was trying. With that said, he turned towards the forest edge and began walking.

"So, where are we going?" Applebloom asked, as she started following after him. Not really knowing what was going on, especially since he wasn't being very helpful, she decided this would be the best thing to do for now.

"To Ponyville, obviously. I'd like to see if I can find Spike again! Or him finding me, since that's how I first found him," he explained where they were headed and kind of why they were as he picked up his pace to a slow jog, which wasn't all too fast nor very helpful. Throwing the pointlessness of his terrible communication skills aside, they soon found themselves in an awkward silence as they slowly jogged their way to town.

"Soooo....." Applebloom began after a while of unbearable silence, earning Zach's attention from the oh so interesting ground he was looking at, "what'd I miss while I was, uh.....'not myself'?" She asked, unsure of what she was asking at this point, earning a small sigh from Zach.

"Just you kicking my ass a lot, that's all," he said, feeling slightly ashamed for being beat so easily. Whatever. Well, at least no one saw what happened nor would they remember, he hoped. They continued their journey back to Ponyville, exchanging some idle chat between each other, like how they're doing, the lovely weather, some small explanations here and there, followed by more silence. The silence came at random, usually after an explanation that was usually quite a bit to take in, which left them both on an awkward note every time.

They slowly entered Ponyville after a while, the town was dead. Figuratively speaking. Continuing their slow pace, they went along the path that Zach recognized, but if only somewhat. Reaching his house again, they both decided to ignore the new doorway in the wall, minus the door part, and walked around to the front door. Opening it up, they both called out for Spike while entering, only to be met with more silence.

"Guess he got caught," Zach said glumly, seeing no signs of the drake returning anytime soon, before flopping down on a couch and letting out a sad sigh. Applebloom stood there for a second, still trying to piece together some of what he explained earlier, but she knew what had happened and joined in on the slightly sad silence. Eventually, she fell down next to the sad mass of Zach who was mumbling something about Spike's great tasting sandwiches. "Welcome to club sad, population us," he took a shot at a joke, but didn't hear any laughing from his audience, before another wave of silence fell upon them. He hated the silence, for he believed that when you have company over, you should always be talking and never let things get silent and stale. But it seemed proper right now, so he let that emptiness of sound hang arounnd them. After a while, he found himself drifting to sleep, and saw Applebloom about to do the same. Until she did something unexpected. She went to cuddle with him, but he resisted the cuddle for fear of upsetting someone, or some people, earning a confused look from the young mare.

"Why resist a simple cuddle?" She asked him, to which he gave a shrug with a chuckle grunt mixture, since that's all he ever does for a quick response anymore before actually using words.

"I've been one to avoid cuddling. Don't know why, but cuddling just isn't my thing," he said while letting a nervous smile slip onto his face, before he let it go blank. "Besides, I'm gonna get cleaned up before we go looking for Spike some more," he said while getting up and away from her as quickly as possible, then heading straight to the bathroom, leaving a lonely young mare on the couch. Letting out a sad sigh, Applebloom sat there by herself as he disappeared into the far reaches of the hallway. After a minute or two she heard the shower start, then her stomach started rumbling. It wouldn't hurt to get something to eat real quick.

Making her way from the couch to the kitchen, she saw the damage that had been done, but passed it by as she grabbed some of the cereal in the cabinets alongside a bowl. Pouring herself a bowl of some 'Cheerilee-O's, she got some milk out and poured it into the bowl. It's a good thing she knows how to make cereal, but why was she going through the steps in detail in her mind? Waving the thought away as simply filling in the silence, she began to chow down. It didn't take her long to finish, since she had grabbed one of the smaller bowls in the cabinet. Returning to the couch of vast loneliness, she listened to the sounds of the shower for a few minutes before it stopped, followed by a loud thump.

"God dammit!" she faintly heard Zach yell from the bathroom, causing her laugh as she imagined him smacking straight into the floor. Then she heard some more thudding, before she realized what was happening back there. Racing down the hallway, she followed the sound of the thudding coming from the door in the middle, before trying to open it. But alas, it was locked. Thinking quickly, she got into position to kick down the door.

"Watch your head!" she yelled out, before sending her foot into the door. It didn't do much, besides falling flat on the floor and revealing the occupants of the bathroom.

"Do you mind?" Masquerade the cat asked, watching as Applebloom's cheeks turned a bright red color.

"Try knocking next time, alright?" Zach asked her, his face equally red, towel fallen and standing strong in two places. Turning herself away from the sight, she covered her face and left, Applebloom decided she had seen quite enough for the day and settled for napping alone on the couch. For sure. The loneliness didn't last long though, since Zach was quick to dress before returning to the front room. Sitting on the other couch, they both sat in absolute silence while occasionaly glancing at each other before throwing their head to the side.

"You know, I think she liked it," said a certain smug cat, who had found a comfy place up on the back of Applebloom's couch. She wasn't there for much longer though, since she had to quickly dodge an incoming couch pillow of doom, thrown by the tyrant of couch number two.

"You shut it! It was all your fault!" Zach screeched at her, causing her to laugh as she returned to the same spot before licking her fur. Taking a quick second away from that, she looked at him with the smuggest look any cat could give.

"If anything it was a compliment, not many ladies would stare that long with what you've got," Masquerade had gone there, causing both of their faces to turn a deep crimson. This time, she had to dodge two couch pillows, which was really hard for her to do. Unfortunately, one of them just barely caught her back leg, sending her into the large bag of catfood in the kitchen. Cats always win. With a few select words and a sigh, Zach was back on the couch and quickly collecting himself. Applebloom, on the other hand, was having a harder time doing that. Settling herself back onto the couch, she had something reappear in her mind, before she shook her head and covered her face. How awful. They both sat there, doing their best to forget it all, but then they heard something faint. Looking at the window, they saw three figures of varying size talking.

"We should just grab them now, they won't expect it," the medium one said quietly, before getting smacked by the smaller one.

"We wait, you idiot! They might fall asleep, and when they do, we grab them then," the small one said, releasing a low throaty evil dog chuckle.

"But isn't it rude to take people in their sleep?" The biggest one of them asked, causing the small one's eyes to widen a bit.

"When have we ever played fair?!" The medium one asked, before smacking the big one, who just mumbled a small apology and whimpered. "Alright, now if you'll excuse me, I'll get everything ready" the small one continued on, before disappearing from the window. The others slowly followed after, the window now giving a clear view of the disappearing sunset.

"They weren't very stealthy," Zach grumbled in annoyance, not wanting to deal with anything else right now. Keeping his eyes on the window, he slowly got up and started sneaking towards the kitchen to grab that cat.

"You'd think they'd at least try," Applebloom said with a small shrug, as she got up as well and followed Zach. Now that they were in the kitchen, they both looked around for Masquerade. They finally saw her on the top shelf of the pantry, where she was looking at them with eyes filled with amusement.

"I see my horrible plan to create a relationship crashed and burned," she purred, before she jumped into Zach's arms. "Now let's go before those dogs actually try to grab us," she said, finally finding a comfortable way to lay in his arms.

"Dogs?" He asked her, to which she looked up at him.

"Big dogs," she said back, before letting out a yawn as she tried to nap in his arms.

"Hey, don't take a nap after giving me terrible answers!" He said, before shaking the cat awake, who just hissed at him in response.

"Don't tell me it's those diamond dogs," Applebloom said, looking slightly annoyed at the thought of them.

"Diamond dogs?" He asked her, before dropping Masquerade right onto the floor, getting a quick slash from her on his ankle. "What are diamond dogs?" He continued, even though it should've been obvious to him at this point.

"Big dogs that enslave others to do their mining," she answered, before all three of them proceeded to the hole in the wall.

"Sounds lovely," he sarcastically said before they all hopped out into the open night air.

"No kidding," a new voice said from right behind them, causing them to turn around while visibly shaking. Right there where they were a second ago, was a figure was leaning against the house right next to the hole. Seeing more figures at the figure's feet, they saw some similar sizes to them. "Diamond dogs are a real drag, darling."

6: Rarity

"Rarity?" Zach asked, knowing there was only one pony who said 'darling' all the time. Actually, now that he thought about it, when did he hear her say 'darling'? Other than that, her voice gave it all away, since it didn't sound all crystal slave like yet. If she was a crystal slave, he wasn't quite sure. Was she? Nah.

"Why of course, who would it be besides me?" Rarity asked, stepping from the shadows, giving them a smile that looked nothing kind at all. "Now, be good and come willingly or else we'll have to get rough, and I don't really feel like fighting," she said, sounding slightly annoyed at the thought of fighting, as crystals started covering her starting from the necklace that she wore. The crystals looked like they were way thicker than that of the Cutie Mark Crusaders in their crystal forms.

"We should be going now, it'd be bad of us to fail our quest to save Equestria" Zach said, before turning around and booking it.

"Hey! Wait for us!" Masquerade and Applebloom called out at the same time, before turning and running after him.

"Fine then, darlings," Rarity said, her voice now echoing through Ponyville, carrying a chill along with it. Starting off with a slow walk to give them a slight headstart, she eventually picked up to a full on sprint going way faster than her fleeing targets. They knew this too, because they all looked back to see her gaining on them and started screaming in terror.

"Don't hurt me!" Zach squealed, picking it up a bit more, before promptly tripping on a piece of wood that was laying in the road.

"C'mon! Ya can't just fall like that!" Appleboom yelled at him in annoyance, as she stopped briefly to pick him up off the ground. Before she could get running again, Masquerade jumped onto her back, then onto her head, before leaping towards Zach.

"I call shotgun!" Masquerade declared, as she hopped into his coat's hood. Now secured inside his hood and enjoying how comfortable it was, she started calming herself down with her fur slowly lowering. "I hate scary ladies, they don't treat cats very well," she said while thinking about a nap, before peeking out from the hood only to be face to face with the crystal monstrosity.

"No need to be so rude, darling, I have a cat of my own and I'm sure she would love to play with you" Rarity said, opening her mouth beyond it's normal limits in a freakish manner, where a crystal started prying itself free.

"Oh god stop! That's disgusting bleh!" Zach said, since he'd now turned around to face her after hearing them talk behind him, only to be disturbed by what he saw. A sudden hissing stopped him, as a crystal cat jumped from her mouth and latched right onto his face. The scratching would have to be the worst, since regular cat claws were painful, but crystal cat claws were even more so. "GET IT OFF!" He started screaming, running around and flailing his arms at the cat on his face, who was hissing at him all the while, refusing to let go.

"I think she likes you," Rarity said with a chuckle, before she lunged forward and pinned Applebloom to the ground, her grip being stronger than normal. It felt similar to Applejack's. Almost.

"Rarity.....please" she pleaded, bringing her arms up to the fashionista's arm, trying to pry it off, but the hand loosened on it's own.

"Just for you, darling," she responded, before feeling something bat her away.

"Ya done fridged up- why am I saying that?" Zach said staring at himself in confusion, a broken wooden board in hand and a lot of cat scratches on his face. Behind him was a mess of two cats, hissing at each other with fur and crystals on end. Ignoring that, Rarity was not happy at all, angry even, that someone would dare to attack her! Getting up, she threw the most sinister glare she could manage at them. Which was terrifying to them, since the slightly cracked crystal features of her face boosted the intensity of the glare. Now sensing that they probably shouldn't fight her now that she was quite peeved, they turned to run. But that didn't work, because after a few feet they found themselves being pulled back by something. After hitting the ground, the two of them looked to see what had grabbed them, only to see a crystal whip around both of them, each held in Rarity's hands. With a hard tug, she dragged them across the ground all the way to her, which was rather painful to them, since dirt and rocks weren't the funnest things to be dragged on. With an evil cackle and a one liner involving the word 'darling', she held them both there so she could stand triumphant above them.

"I believe our little game is over," Rarity said in a menacing voice, as she got ready to do what she was brought to do: Capture them. Which was practically done with her whips around them, but she wanted them out cold so they wouldn't complain all the way back to the castle, with the 'are we there yet?' whining and such. Stepping up to Applebloom first, she gave a solid kick to her head, knocking her out instantly. "I hate this brutish task, but it's the quickest and easiest" she said, before turning to Zach.

"Don't you friggin' dare" he said in confusion about why he couldn't say that word, while kicking at her as best he could, trying to delay her from forcing him into a nap. Hearing her giggle from his weak kicks against her, he felt a little angry. "My kicks are your demise! Fear them!" He shouted, putting more effort into his kicks. Now his kicks were actually moving her legs, if only slightly.

"Well that got boring rather fast," Masquerade said, jumping onto Rarity's shoulder and licking her paws, causing Rarity to turn her head.

"What are you doing here? Where's Opal?" She asked, not sounding very happy.

"Hey, she's the one that wanted to fight near a stone wall, it's not my fault she got crushed into a pancake," the cat continued with a smirk, looking over to the stone block that was twice her size where a crystal paw was poking out. Rarity followed her gaze and gasped. Running over to it, she knocked Masquerade off her shoulder and onto Zach, who was wiggling free from the whip that she had also dropped. Lifting the stone off her cat, she saw that the stone hadn't cracked her, but rather pushed her into the ground making an Opal shaped hole.

Hearing something behind her, she turned quickly only to meet with the mailbox Zach had with her face, which sent chunks of face flying everywhere. Opal went to attack, but was promptly batted down into the hole again, this time in tiny pieces. The cat had no time to reform before the stone block was moved back on top of the hole. Feeling like he'd won this fight, Zach did a quick victory pose before leaning down to Rarity, reaching towards her neck.

"That's a second victory for us, and we've given freedom back to two ponies!" Zach yelled out loud in triumph, and went to pull the necklace off after getting a good grip. But alas, it wouldn't budge. Who would have thunk it? Giving a concerned look to Masquerade, who was laying down next to him, he then tried again. Same result. "Son of a bi-" he couldn't quite finish, since Rarity's fist came flying up and sent him back a foot or two.

"It's not that easy, darling," she said, getting up off the ground, the crystals returning to their normal places. "You see, me and my friends have extra thick crystals, so it's harder to break us free from our enslavement," she said, before looking a bit confused as to why she gave a direct answer on why they were harder to beat, but shook her head. Regaining a composed evil smile, she started walking towards the two of them. "Now, who wants to go to the castle?" She asked, before she started laughing.

"Me!" A voice came from a nearby shop, before a big figure came crashing through the wall and slammed into the crystal pony. They were all taken by surprise and had no time to react, debris raining down on them as Rarity was sent flying. After a second, Rarity tried to get up but was stopped when the figure jumped on top of her, their hands quickly flew to her neck.

"No, stop! Don't take my crystal beauty!" Rarity screeched, her crystal voice sounding strained, but her cry was too late. The necklace was ripped straight from it's place, causing her to let out a loud scream that lasted for a minute as her body convulsed wildly. As she quieted down, the crystals on her started to fade away and the dust started to settle. They all sat in silence as their savior got up.

"Are you three alright?" The figure asked, before turning to face them. It was Spike. Sitting there staring at the drake, after they dug themselves out of the debris, the two of them failed to notice some other figures walking up behind them. They finally realized they were there when Zach was engulfed by the two, their arms wrapped around him in a big hug.

"We're sorry we attacked you!" The two said in unison, which took him a second to realize what was going on, before he calmed down when he recognized their voices. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle let go of him, before they both went over to Applebloom and began dragging her out of the small pile of debris she was in.

"How?" Was all Zach could say, as he looked between the Cutie Mark Crusaders and Spike. With a slow chuckle, Spike walked over with Rarity's foot in his large hand.

"They almost won, but I caught them by surprise a mile out of town" Spike simply answered, with no extra details at all. Suspicious. Hearing a dissatisfied huff from Zach, he raised an eyebrow at him. "What?" He asked, watching as the human stood up.

"That's way too simple, I don't believe it for half a second," He said, watching the dragon closely.

"Even if you don't believe him, that's really what happened" Sweetie Belle said, placing herself at Spike's side, being closely followed by Scootaloo, since they were both moving Applebloom. Looking between the three of them, he just sighed before sitting himself down. As soon as he did, Masquerade jumped into his lap while purring softly.

"I believe them, since not everything has to be complicated," Masquerade muttered to him, before he started stroking her along the back mindlessly. They stayed like that for a bit, before they all agreed that they needed to move, since another group of crystal ponies could arrive at any time, and they really didn't feel like fighting them this soon. Heading out of Ponyville to find a new safe haven, they were unaware of the three figures following them, watching their every move closely.

7: To Apple Loosa

The group of friends continued their quest to save Equestria, by walking alongside the train tracks that would lead them to Apple Loosa. They had to stop at one point when Rarity woke up, so they could explain the situation to her and calm her down since she was freaking out about not knowing where she was. That didn't last long though, since she seemed to calm down rather quickly, and they were on their way again. After the sixth hour rolled by, they started to feel uneasy. Something just wasn't right to them. Maybe they just weren't used to walking instead of riding a train.

"Anyone else feel like we should've reached somewhere by now? Getting kinda bored," Zach asked, as he spun around while continuing his walking, checking out the surroundings to keep an eye out for anything unusual. So far they've been in the clear and that bothered him. If Frank and the other villains wanted them caught so badly, why haven't they sent anyone else yet?

"Yes yes, we know the whole 'are we there yet' game, we'll be there soon darling," Rarity said with a huff, tired of how many times he had asked about getting somewhere and how long it was taking. Feeling the heat on her raise a bit, she brought a hand to her forehead, using it as a shield against the sun in an attempt to keep the heat off of her, while also tryiing to spot where they were headed. "I mean, we can't be that far from Apple Loosa now, right?" She asked, turning to Applebloom, who was walking right next to her. Applebloom had told them these train tracks would lead them towards Apple Loosa, but they had to walk because the train was being used for Frank's own evil doings. The walk was really tiresome as well, since the sun was constantly bearing down on them with no shade near the train tracks ever since they passed over the gorge.

"Ah mean, it shouldn't be that far now," Applebloom said, as she wiped the sweat from her forehead. They didn't have much for supplies now that she thought about it, and that would serve to be a real problem soon. Ruffling through their supply bag, she frowned when she saw how very little water there was. That frown increased when she saw Masquerade just sleeping there, doing absolutely nothing besides making the bag slightly heavier.

"I think I see something," Scootaloo said from Spike's back, since she had climbed up there to act as a scout for anything ahead. Being a pegasus, she had better sight than the rest of them, since flying usually required better eyesight to determine where you were flying and where you were landing. At least, that's what Scootaloo says. She doesn't fly, but she's their only pegasus there, so ya know. Shaking his head, Zach got these random thoughts out of his head so he could pay attention to the task at hand. Besides, he didn't need to remind himself constantly of what he was told. It's not like he needed to inform anyone constantly with this information, unless it was a story or a movie. This got a small chuckle out of him, since the thought of him being a star was too ridiculous.

"Ooh! Ooh! Is it Apple Loosa?" Sweetie Belle asked, making a dog like sound while bouncing just a tiny bit. They all looked to Scootaloo, waiting for an answer.

"Yeah, and something is coming this way," She said, standing up a little taller to get a better look. Then her eyes got wide. "TRAIN!" She yelled, before leaping from Spike's back and heading for cover. Everyone was quick to follow, since being spotted by the train would just suck after all that walking. With them all behind cover, they peeked and watched the incoming train. Then they saw it.

"Why is it on fire?" Zach called out, as the speeding locamotive went speeding by them. The front was destroyed, a giant fire hiding most of it behind it's intense heat, a crystal body hanging from the conductor's window and slowly crumbling to pieces. The other cabins were also damaged, but not as bad as the front since they looked heavily armored, with only a few little fires here and there with at least two more crystal bodies hanging from the windows. There appeared to be a ton of dents in the cabins as well, most big while others were just visible. Whatever or whoever beat it up must have been real pissed with it's existence. After it was well out of sight, they all returned to the tracks and slowly continued on how they were before.

"That wasn't the normal train," Rarity commented, earning an interested look on Zach's face.

"That sounds good, maybe us good guys have the normal one then," he said with a wavy hand, indicating he wasn't sure of that answer at all. They all agreed with him, before Scootaloo returned to her draconic mount.

"Alright, I see Apple Loosa now," Scootaloo said, pointing forward towards it before standing tall and shielding her eyes from the sun. "It looks empty from here, and it's really hard to see it with the heat waves distorting my vision, but maybe there are still some others holding out there based on what we saw," she continued, before hopping off of Spike's back and landing on Zach's foot by accident. Watching his face was priceless and got her laughing alongside the others, but she ushered a quick apology as he hopped around on his other foot while yelling some of his favorite words.

"Alright, then there's no time to waste, we have get there soon," Spike said, as he prepared to speed up, but was quickly stopped by Zach.

"I don't think you realize this since you're a dragon, but it's kinda hot out here in this, y'know, desert-ish area, and we all need a little bit of a break," he said to the dragon, who proceeded to look around at the others, taking note of how tired they actually looked. "I know we're close and all that, but we gotta think about this for a few minutes, since the walk still is quite a ways" he continued. Looking around for a place to rest, Spike saw a big boulder just off the trail, and started heading towards it.

"Where are you going?" Rarity asked, as they all stopped in unison and looked at Spike.

"We'll take a break in the shadow of that boulder, so you can all get a good break in," he said as he pointed at it, the shadow it casted was long and welcoming. They all quickly followed after him, since the thought of getting into some shade was all too delightful. As they all gathered underneath the cool shade of the boulder, they decided to look at all of their supplies together. Pouring out Apple Bloom's bag, sending the cat straight to the ground in the progress, they counted a total of one water bottle that was actually filled while the rest were empty. The food wasn't looking good either, since it looked like they only had a few small rations left. Moving onto Sweetie Belle's bag, they found two water bottles that were full, and about the same amount of rations.

"Well that's just great" Scootaloo mumbled, as she sat down on one of the rocks and had Masquerade jump into her lap, while Rarity started sorting out equal meals for everyone. Zach looked around, seeing how tired they were got him thinking. With Apple Loosa being just ahead of them, and being as close as it was, he got a small plan going. Standing up, he gave a little cough to gather their attention. Once he was sure they were actually paying attention, he began his plan.

"I'll run ahead to see if it's actually safe for us to go there. Wouldn't want to waste our time going somewhere hostile with so very few supplies," he declared, looking around to get a general idea of what they were thinking. Seeing them all give each other unsure looks, he was almost certain they would say that they'd go as a group, since there wasn't really any place around for a long while. But they all slowly nodded their heads with a shrug or two thrown in, giving the confirmation he was looking for, but didn't exactly need or was expecting. Turning around to start the journey ahead of him, he was stopped when Applebloom grabbed his arm.

"Be careful now, ya never know what might happen," Applebloom said to him, to which he gave a quick nod, and a feeling that something more was going on started building in his chest. After she let go, he turned around and started his little journey. Besides, the heat didn't bother him much since he was used to it, living in a drier area for practically all his life would prove useful here. Running was obviously a no go, since that would dry him out too quickly, so he settled for that slow jog he always did. Not as fast as running, but a very reliable form of movement in his opinion, since it could be done for longer. Deciding to distract himself while he was jogging, he let his mind wander off to the random things he had experienced during his time in Equestria, every detail refreshing themselves in his head. Some bringing smiles, others making him cringe, while most just confused him when he gave them a second look over.

This didn't last long, since he arrived at his destination sooner than he had expected. The train station was the first thing he took notice of, which was all boarded up and heavily armored, with a light just visible on the inside inside. Friend or foe he wasn't quite sure, but knocking was the only thing to do really. Marching right on up to the door, he gave a few hard knocks. Hearing hushed voices inside, he listened to the loud shuffling coming from inside, before the light turned off and brought silence to the building. Why was the light on? It's the middle of the day, they didn't need it on!

Ignoring those thoughts, he gave another knock, hoping to have someone answer. Suddenly, the boards started shifting on the windows either side of the door, before a few crossbows were poking out and aiming directly at him. Seeing this as a very bad sign, he immediately jumped back before taking cover at the edge of the platform. Hearing a few thunks from above, he could only imagine that they had actually shot at him. In his opinion, this meant foe. Or maybe it was just a misunderstanding? Seeing as to how he couldn't do much from his current position, he decided to try and talk to them.

"Stop shooting for the love of God! I'm on your side!" Zach yelled out now that the thought of them actually shooting at him set in, as he poked up from his hiding spot with arms raised. One of the crossbows took quick aim, and he ducked down again before it could shoot.

"That's what all you crystal bastards say and we're not buying it one bit!" One of the crossbow wielders yelled from inside, carrying that accent that sounded a lot like Applebloom's. Letting two and two connect, he quickly thought of something.

"You're part of Applebloom's family, right? You guys have the same accent as her," He called out, once more popping up from his spot. Dummy. The crossbows lowered for a moment, as they thought over what he said. The crossbows slowly rose though, causing him to slowly lower back into cover.

"How do you know that?" The voice asked again, sounding very suspicious. Why was this making sense? Thinking of what to say next, since it probably meant life or death, he decided to go all in with this one and got up, taking a step onto the platform.

"I know this because I've been traveling all day with her and her friends: Rarity, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle and Spike. Surely you know them?" He asked, waiting for an answer. Stepping closer, he was pushing it. There was no way he could dodge now if they shot. As he got closer, he heard two voices now and it sounded like they were arguing in muffled language of inside. Creeping a bit closer, he hoped to listen in on what they were talking about. No such luck, the walls muffled their voices way too much for him to eavesdrop. Silence took over, letting the wind play it's tune. Which was funny, because it sounded a lot like western music from back home. Slowly, the door creaked open, a hand popped out and signaled for him to approach, so he walked over to the open crack. Seeing a single eye peering out at him, he went to ask why the door wasn't all the way open, but it was obvious why.

"Don't even talk. I want you to bring them here, just so I know you're not lying to me," the message was loud and clear, so he didn't even bother to stick around an extra second before turning around and running back to where he had left the others. They finally had some allies to help them out. Things were getting better. Hopefully.

Author's Note

Filler chapter! Yay! Well, feels like one to me anyways, so....

8: King Sombra

They were in Apple Loosa at last, walking around and looking around the town. It looked like an old western town, like you would see in those old movies, which reminded Zach of many stories of old that always got him excited as a kid. Shaking his head clear of these old memories, he took a moment to note how most of the buildings were boarded up and given some reinforcements. Looking forward, he started paying attention to what Braeburn had to say about the town, since most of the buildings didn't serve their original purpose anymore. Except the bar. That seemed to be perfectly normal. Walking into the building at the end, which was now the headquarters for the Apple Loosians, they took seats around a table. A map of Equestria sat on top, red flags on the majority of locations, while green flags dotted a town every now and then.

"Obviously, we're not the only place holding out against the forces of Chaos, as they've come to call themselves, but we're one of the more noticed ones. I'm sure you saw our handy work," Braeburn said, before he pointed to one of the green flags, which was on the town by the name of 'Baltimare'. "Plenty of others are holding out in Baltimare, but I highly doubt they are even close to working together. It's probably just every pony for themselves there. We only consider it friendly since the Wonderbolts are holding the area as best they can," Shaking his head as he finished his sentence, Braeburn looked around at all of them, waiting for someone to say something. He'd done all the talking so far.

"Alright, why are all the cities in Equestria horse puns of cities from Earth?" Zach asked, looking around at the rest of them, only for all of them to shrug their shoulders while giving him confused looks. Shaking his head after realizing what he had just asked them, he waved off the question like he never even asked it and let them continue with whatever they needed to say.

"Anyways, we need to go to Baltimare soon, see if there are any ,'rebels', as they call themselves,' would like to come back with us to help, since we're planning a raid on the fortresses the Chaos forces have made nearby," Braeburn said, before looking to Rarity, "do you know where any of your friends are?" He asked, earning a shake of her head in reply. Letting out a sigh, he mumbled something quietly, then started walking towards the stairs. Before he could climb them, the door was thrown open by a frantic looking pony, who was gasping for breath while he looked around. Seeing Braeburn, he made his way across the room as quickly as possible, nearly tripping in the process.

"We've got trouble and it's coming fast!" he said, before he calmed himself a bit. "Sombra is on his way," he stated, fear in his eyes. The room was silent for a minute, looks of dread on all their faces. Except for Zach, since he wasn't quite sure who he was.

"Can I get an explanation on who this Sombra guy is?" Zach asked, looking around at everyone. Rarity went to explain who he was, but was cut off when a crystal started slowly growing out of the floor next to them. They all watched it for a second, watching it slowly grow before it started shaking the building.

"Run!" Braeburn yelled, snapping them all back to reality as they booked it for the door, getting out just in time as the crystal shot up in size, tearing the building a new one. All the while, a nagging feeling was in the back of Zach's head and it just bothered him, he wasn't quite sure why. Waving it off for now, he joined the others as they kept running, random crystals coming up out of the ground. Getting a clear picture of what this guy was capable of now, Zach took a moment to look around for Sombra. This was a mistake, as he ran straight into a crystal, which responded to his contact by sending out more crystals in the shape of a cage.

"Well damn," Zach grumbled quietly, as the crystals started closing in, making it hard for him to even sit in there. They didn't stop until he was curled up into a tight ball on the ground. Catching a glimpse of his friends running through a crack in the crystals, he saw them looking back at where he was, looks of, he wasn't entirely sure, on their faces. "Keep going, I'm done for," he said, mostly to himself. They seemed to react to this, as they all turned and ran from Apple Loosa, earning him a little laugh. With incredible timing like that, he felt like a genius. Until a dark mist flew in front of him, then he felt scared. He could just barely see a solid form in the middle before the mist flew away.

There, standing before him was a grey guy in armor, a black horn that slowly turned a bright red at the tip was present and very ominous. Spooky even. The man was wearing what appeared to be battle armor, he could only imagine how powerful this guy was to walk around with armor like that on. The last thing he took note of was the crown on his head, which looked cool in his opinion. A large smile was present, but he didn't say anything as he leaned in, his dark hair flowing in the wind, before it flew into his face and made him grunt in annoyance. Stifling a laugh, Zach watched him struggle to actually get it out of his face, his grunts growing angrier with every failed attempt.

Stopping his futile struggle, Sombra pulled out a brush made of dark crystals with a hint of red in them. Taking it to his hair, he quickly battled it out of his face, and like magic it stayed out of his face. Now that he was not being bothered by his hair, he leaned in once more, while throwing a glare that screamed 'I dare you' at his hair, before looking Zach dead in the eyes.

"Yessssss," He hissed, which only caused some more stifled laughter to come from Zach.

"Yessssss?" Zach asked in a mocking hiss, which caused him to bust out in laughter, earning an angry growl from the man.

"Cease this foolish behavior!" He suddenly bellowed, ceasing the laughter from Zach as he gave him a very worried look. "Good, now listen, peasant. You are now a prisoner of King Sombra!" Sombra announced, as crystals flew out at Zach's hands, making heavy shackles as the crystal cage he was in receded. Standing up, he felt just how heavy they were, which made it quite obvious to him how hard it would be to run.

"But seriously though, why did you just come up to me and say 'yes' like that?" He asked, waiting for an answer from the king. It took him a minute, his mouth opening and closing a few times as he thought up a way to explain it. After a minute, he found a way to explain it.

"Princess Celestia and Princess Luna banished the Crystal Empire while under my control, and their magic was too powerful for me to revert on my own, destroying my ability to speak normally as a result," he said, anger clear in his voice as a dark feeling surrounded the immediate area. "Now that they themselves were banished, I hope they harm themselves trying to return," he spat out with obvious anger, a crystal chain sprouted from the shackles that Zach wore and went straight into Sombra's hand and he started pulling him along. This didn't last long, since Zach did his best to match his pace.

"I've been ordered by 'Lord Frank' to bring you to him, but I have a better plan for you," Sombra said, not sounding very happy when he mentioned Frank. After seeing Zach's uncertain face, he slowly let out a long, evil, dark, laugh. A crystal cart came rolling up, crystal beings pulling it. A cage made of.....iron was on the cart, and the door was already open for him. Guess even Sombra knows his limits when it comes to glittering crystals.

"Don't bother throwing me in, I can get in there myself," Zach said, stepping ahead of Sombra to get in, but he was simply picked up from behind and hurled into the cage. "What the hell did I just say?" Standing up as he asked, he looked at the grinning face of the dark king, before a separate cart made of wood and iron rolled up beside them, a throne of crystals sitting in the back. Watching as Sombra climbed into it, he realized just how much this guy was going to be a pain. Without a call from the king, the carts started moving again, showing just how obedient the crystals were to this man.

"We have much to discuss, and I'm sure you'll love your new home," King Sombra called out, somehow making his voice reach his ears from behind. Plus it overpowered the sounds of the wheels rolling through the dust and the grinding sound that they made as they rolled. "I know you won't come willingly, just because of the....circumstances, but I ensure you that this will be way better than dying to Frank" he continued, which beckoned Zach to turn around and face him as he talked.

"What the...hell?" Zach mumbled quietly in confusion as he observed Sombra without his chest piece, a drink in hand and grapes in a goblet right next to him. What a sight to behold indeed, and it made him look like even more of an asshole. Sombra threw him a large grin, before he used his magic to levitate another drink from somewhere next to him, before bringing it over to Zach.

"Drink, I'm sure you'll enjoy it," he said, before taking a sip from his own glass. Taking the glass into his hand, he took a long good look at the liquid to make sure it wasn't something bad. "Stop being so skeptical, it's just water in a crystal glass that makes it look like something else," the king clarified, which seemed to be purely honest in his mind, since the king hasn't given him a proper reason to distrust him yet, besides him being straight up evil. Bringing it to his lips, he felt the liquid pour into his mouth. It was water. Cold too. Pulling it away from his dry lips, he felt a new wave of energy flood through him, like water was the only thing he would need to survive. Besides, water tastes way better when you're in a desert anyways.

"Alright, I see you aren't lying to me, yet," Zach said to the dark king, as he continued to drink from the glass, "but what I want to know is what you have in store for me," he continued, keeping an eye on him as he gave him that dastardly grin again. Damn that was hot. No, wait...

"Nothing too terrible, just a special necklace that shows your allegiance to me," Sombra said, which took Zach a bit to realize what this meant, but it hit him like a train when he finally realized what he meant. "Don't worry, you'll be in control most of the time, and you'll only lose control when I will it," he continued, a laugh slowly rising from his throat, filling the air around them.

"I'm so boned..." Zach mumbled as he finished his drink. With a sad sigh and full acceptance of defeat, he held it out for a refill.

Author's Note

In my opinion, if a villain is hunting for a specific person, they should be quick to hunt down that person, even if it gives the feeling that things are moving by quite fast.

(It'll slow down, just setting a proper stage I suppose)

9: Insanity

Opening his eyes, Zach felt a strong pain in his head. What happened? Looking around where he was, he observed that the room was made out of crystals, with a few stone or wood bits here and there where they fit best. It was a bedroom from the looks of it, a desk off to the side with some pretty basic desk things scattered about, the bed he was currently resting in was really comfortable now that he thought about it, even if the bedding also looked like crystals. Why was everything all crystal like? Waving that away, he tried to figure out why his head was hurting, and how to procastinate to stay in the bed just a bit longer. From what he could remember before falling asleep, he wasn't attacked by Sombra directly, so that scratched physical pain off the list. Was it mental pain? No, that couldn't be it.....could it?

"Why yes, it could be mental pain," a voice echoed from deep within his mind, earning a wave of pain and utter annoyance to course through him, causing him to groan and moan, "and don't go crying about the pain. It will only hurt for the next few hours or whenever I feel like stopping," it continued on before fading away with a chuckle, the pain slowly getting better. Even though it still hurt quite a bit, he could easily shove the pain off to the side now. Pain was a friend of his after all, their history long and colorful. Getting up from the bed, he felt something different about himself, but he wasn't quite sure. What he was sure of now was how uncomfortable he felt. The bed called to him, but he resisted. Seeing a mirror also resting in the room right on the wall, he wandered over to it to see how he looked before running out and about looking like a cave man. What he beheld was horrifying.

"What the....hell am I?" Zach asked himself in uncertainty, his voice echoing while he did so. Reaching his hands up to his face, he felt the crystals that now covered all of his body.

"Don't worry, it's only for today, then it will hide itself away until needed," the voice explained to him, with some more crazed chuckling following close behind. He was beginning to sense a theme.

"Yeah, no, fudge this," he said while still feeling his face, a frown growing ever so slowly for the lack of that word he wished to say since it was always slipping away from his tongue. He continued to gaze upon himself. Like, he looked cool, but at the same time it just really bugged him. This wasn't him at all. That started to echo in his mind, the words shifted their places to taunt him. 'This is you' it taunted on and on, the thought of that really being him becoming more inviting with each time it came back. Grabbing both sides of his head as it continued on and on, he started to accept the fact that it was now him.

"Yes, accept what you already knew," the voice jeered at him, causing something inside his head to snap. Anger, insanity, whatever it was that snapped, it bugged him too much and he wasn't in the mood to deal with it.

"Fox off!" Zach yelled, throwing his crystal fist into the mirror, shattering it and sending shards all around him. Time slowed down as he recollected himself, it was all he could do right now. Would he really fall to this? No, no...not now at least, and definitely not on these conditions. Time returned to it's normal pace as the bedroom door opened. Turning to it, he saw King Sombra in the doorway, his face riddled with confusion.

"What did that mirror ever do to you? Seemed harmless enough," Sombra asked, which caused Zach to look at the mirror where his fist was still at the impact zone. Pulling it away, he looked to Sombra with his own face of confusion.

"Didn't you watch me from my mind?" He asked the king, certain that he was the one talking to him telepathically. In fact, he was so certain it was him, he made hand gestures relating to mind control and the likes.

"Mind control isn't my thing...most of the time, anyways," Sombra said, clearing his throat then smiling. Pulling something from his pocket, he held it forward, "I believe you would like your magic mirror back," he said. Walking over, Zach looked at what he was talking about. It was his phone. Why does everyone take his phone? Taking it back from the king, he went to pocket it, only to see that he had no open pockets.

"Damn crystals," he muttered to himself, before opting to throw it on the bed instead. This was his room, right? "Oh yeah, is this my room now, my king?" He asked, wondering why he adressed him as his king at the end.

"Oh you know why," the voice said to him, making him growl in anger.

"I told you to shut it!" Zach barked, throwing a fist into his own head. Sombra took a step back from him, watching on as he tried to figure out what was happening.

"Uh, yes, this is your room," Sombra continued on pretending he didn't just see that, before he took a step forward to his original position, "are you alright?"

"No, no I'm not because that bastard of a voice won't shut up."

"But I can't leave my poor little Zach alone, what would you do without me?" It asked, before Zach got a brilliant idea.

"Alright I'm getting sick of this," Zach ended the conversation with that, before running and jumping through the window on the far side of the room. With any luck, he would be jumping from the highest point in the castle. Unfortunately, he was only on the first floor and casually flopped onto the ground outside. Hearing Sombra walk over the the window, he looked over to see the king staring at him with genuine concern.

"I can see why you're not alright," Sombra said to him, before picking him up in his magic and bringing him back inside. Pulling the chair from the desk over infront of him as he made another with crystals, he seated Zach in it, "now mysterious voice inside his head, reveal yourself to me!"

"If you insist," the voice echoed throughout the room with yet another overused evil chuckle, before a darkness fell upon the room. Neither one of them could see past their eyelids, but they could tell something was moving, "ah, to be free again feels sooooo good," the voice said, no longer echoing nor originating from Zach's mind. Without much warning, the darkness seemed to pull itself into a single area. It was a cloud of darkness, floating just between Sombra and Zach, a top hat floating on top of it, making it look like a dapper douche. A ghastly white smile adorned it's 'face', two eyes opened above and below the mouth, before the bottom one flew above the mouth as well. They all sat in silence, waiting for someone to talk.

"Come come now, spit out your words, for I can feel them burning in your minds!" The cloud exclaimed, two 'arms' came flying out from it's 'sides' and into the air. It looked up in annoyance, before looking back and forth between the two.

"What are you?" Zach asked, reaching out a hand and poking at the dark cloud, only to have his arm sucked off and slapped back into place quite painfully.

"No touchy," it said, before clearing it's 'th-, "stop using quotations!" Alright fine, it's....throat, and answering with, "My name is 'insanity', God of Chaos to all dimensions and worlds but mainly Earth. Discord can suck a fat one," Insanity said, before opening a portal that lead straight to Discord and sent him a....very special gift.

"What?" Sombra asked in complete confusion, he wasn't expecting this from a Monday.

"Exactly!" Insanity exclaimed, before looking down in anger, "yes yes I know! Why are there so many things coming from Zach's head and all that, we're getting to that!" he declared, which made the other occupants of the room question if they were still sane or not. Who was he talking to?

"Alright enough of this," Zach said, standing and taking a punch at the Insanity before him.....really?

"Yes, really," Insanity said, dodging the punch before it even happened, looking back at the history written before him, "I already know what you're going to do next, so stop trying," he said, throwing back a punch and connecting, despite Zach's best attempt at dodging. It's almost like he knew where he was dodging to. Falling to the floor rather quickly, his crystal face had a bit removed, chipped the nose right off. It was painful, but that pain only seemed to fuel the Insanity....stop that!

"Never!"

Ugh, fine. Letting things continue on as they were, Zach got back into his chair, rubbing his hand on the chipped area. Now that the situation was sane once more - god damn it - they collected and readied themselves for whatever would happen next. Except Insanity, since he was such a smarty pants.

"How sarcastic, it bores me oh so good," Insanity said with a yawn, his white eyes turning into Z's. Sombra and Zach looked around for whoever he was talking to, but gave up after they remembered what he had said.

"Well, now that you aren't talking to whoever that was, mind answering our questions?" Sombra asked, getting rather annoyed of this. Discord was bad at times, but this...

"If you insist, which you are, then I shall," Insanity said, before clearing his throat and started answering, "I'm made of all the insane thoughts that consume the minds of humans, ponies, ponies, centaurs, and anything else that I won't bother naming. You can call me Isaac, I like that name, even if it isn't insanely great. No, you may not touch me. To do so would kill you, for the insanity is too much to handle and I won't be answering anymore, as I have another place to be right now," Isaac said, his words lingering in the air quite literally, before spinning away into nothingness with their creator in tow. Thank. God.

The both of them sat in silence, processing what they were just told. Isaac had said all that so fast, that they didn't really catch much of it besides the part about being called Isaac. They were about to go back to whatever they were going to do before all that Insanity - god damn it - when Isaac came swirling back.

"Almost forgot, but here's a gift for beating Rarity, the first 'boss' of this story," he said, throwing a knife to Zach. It didn't have a sheath, so it went straight into his crystal leg as if it was butter, "don't lose that pumpkin, it's made from some really good stuff that I will not be naming at this time," Isaac said, before swirling away once more while Zach screamed to the high heavens. Oh how the plot thickens, it pleases me so.

Author's Note

Hey guys, Isaac here! Hope you love those insane puns in the narrative of this story, because that's only the beginning of this wild ride! So buckle up and get ready to go insane - no pun intended - at the speeds of which you are exposed to such juicy puns!

Get away from the Author Notes! This is for me and me alone, ya crazy bastard!

Oh hush, there's no where I can't go

Motherfu-

No, bad child, no F-bombs for you it makes you look like a big dum dum

Felix you