The Mailmare of Ponyville

by Wind Scribe

Rating: teen
Tags: Derpy Hooves, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Dinky Hooves
Length: 1312

It's springtime in Ponyville and one mare is looking to survive the challenge of day to day life with a certain 'ailment'.

Ditzy Doo, the mailmare of Ponyville, is having one of 'those' days. She needs to make it through just one day of work before she can fulfill her desire. Who knows, she may end up with her own 'special delivery' by the end of the day.

Rated Teen for copious amounts of sexual innuendos

Published 2015-04-02 03:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-02 03:00:02 UTC

The Mailmare of Ponyville

As with any peaceful spring day in Ponyville, today was of no exception. With hardly a cloud in the sky the pleasant breeze brought with it the sweet scent of lilacs and daisies from the fields of flowers surrounding the fair village town. Birds sang their songs in joyous melody as the townsfolk worked to and fro on their daily tasks and errands with smiles on their faces.

All of them except for one mare in particular that wasn’t quite as happy as the rest. A light grey pegasus with a mused, yellow mane and tail. Her name was Ditzy Doo, the mailmare of Ponyville.

It’s not to say that she was unhappy, moreover anxious. Like she had ants crawling beneath her skin since the day began. The itch was only slightly noticeable that morning, but as the day progressed, it started to make its presence more pronounced. By the time she was on her way to work after a light breakfast, the itch had become noticeable and she knew exactly what this feeling meant. Ditzy tried to ignore the feeling in hopes that it would go away or die down at least until later. Though the tactic could only work for so long.

Ditzy’s thoughts began to wander as she began her mailing routine. Her concentration slowly dwindling with each passing hour. Once or twice she had to stop and recheck a package or letter to make sure she was delivering it to the right address.

The sun hung teasingly high overhead, as if mocking the pegasus of how slow time seemingly moved. At least the revelation of lunch time offered her comfort that she only had a few more hours of work left. Unfortunately, the same couldn’t be said for her lunch itself. All she had packed for the day was a plain DLT (Daisy, Lettuce, and Tomato sandwich) and an apple with a small bottle of water. The itch flared even further with each bite of the bland meal almost coming to the point of becoming unbearable.

“Just a little longer, please!” The mare practically screamed within her mind.

The next few hours passed with even more agonizing slowness as Ditzy continued her route. If only she could sate her yearning for even just one minute, but her job had to come first. With that in mind, she pushed through with every every ounce of her will power.

Three o’ clock could not have come any later as Ditzy rushed to the post office clock out station and punching out for the day. Not waiting for a reply from her co-workers as she hastily bid them a good evening Ditzy was already out of the building and on her way home. Only one more thing stood between her and relieving the burning desire beneath her mind; and that was a quick trip to the market to restock on household goods of which she sorely lacked.

Finally upon the threshold of her home, Ditzy groaned in annoyance in how long her ‘quick’ trip to the market had taken. She loved her friend Moon Harvest, but Celestia help her when she came ever so close to strangling the other mare for forcing her to haggle the last few bits she had for a measly bundle of tomatoes. With calming, if a bit shaky breaths to compose herself she took out her keys and with deft flick of her wing she was now within the safe haven of her abode where she could deal with the unbearable desire that has plagued her mind and body since that morning.

Ditzy breathed heavily, light beads of sweat breaking across her brow as she took in the sight before her. The heat from the device in front of her. The heat caressed her fur and set a shiver down her spine.

In the softest voice she could muster she begs, “J-just a little more!”

As if answering her near breathless plea the oven dings; The muffins were ready. Ditzy's wings twitch sporadically and a shaky limb grasps the oven door and opens it. The heat trapped within rolls out and over body, nearly making her legs buckle. The scent carried with it assaults her even more and makes her groan.

"Yeesssss!"

Carefully, Ditzy slips a pair of well worn oven mitts over her hooves. The hot air draws a deep flush from her face as she approaches the open oven. Her eyes widen then shut tight with a quick thrust of her hooves into the tight fitting contraption to retrieve her prize. Even with her favored oven mitts, she could feel the heat seep into her sensitive hooves from the equally worn baking tray. She withdrew quickly and placed the tray atop of the counter. The oven slammed back shut with a light kick allowing cooler air to ripple across Ditzy's heated cheeks sending another shiver down her spine.

Her eyes drifted back to the tray on the counter where the delicate, sweet muffins stood erect and steaming. With deft hooves, Ditzy plucked each out out, never allowing a single crumb to flake off the baked perfections.

One...two...four...six!

Six hot, moist, and fluffy treats stood before the light headed pegasus on a cooling tray. All that was left to do was to wait for them to cool down. How the anticipation was killing her. Every minute passed in agonizing bliss. Ditzy, senses overloaded, salivated heavily and extended her tongue slightly, dragging it provocatively across her lips.

She couldn't take it anymore, if she had to wait any longer she felt like her mind would break. The baked delicacies were still steaming, but Ditzy did not care. The first one was swiped from the plate. The wrapper was peeled with precision until the bare flesh of the pastry laid before the mare. Then, she took a bite and the rest of the world melted away. Banana nut with a hint of cinnamon, her favorite. The texture, the taste, all of it was perfect as that first bite tore away from the whole. She only winced slightly as the core burned her tongue, but the pain subsided into the most amazing pleasure one could imagine. Another moan escaped the mare as she worked the bite she had her mouth until it was nothing more than pasty chucks which she swallowed with an elongated sigh.

"Oh my god, mom!"

The shrill cry broke the mare from her little fantasy world, and just as it was getting good. Ditzy had to take a moment to focus her walled-eyes. When she did her gaze fell upon two fillies standing in the doorway of the kitchen. One with a look of confusion and apprehension. The other with a plain scowl that she had become accustomed to during these encounters.

Ditzy's daughter, Dinky Doo, continued to hold the scowl as she pushed her friend from school away from the scene while ranting behind her, "Jeez, you always do this when I have friends over! Why do you have to be so weird?"

The last statement was punctuated by a slamming door, Dinky's bedroom door to be exact.

"I love you too, sweetie!" Ditzy called after her daughter.

Author's Note

Happy Apirl's Fools day everypony. A little something I cooked up after seeing a gif on derpiboo about a week ago, but wanted to save it for today (or yesterday if you wanna get technical; yes I'm a little late, but I had to work late and wanted to grammer check this one last time before posting). So yeah, I'm not opposed to clopfic writers or their work, but I don't write them myself, although with what I have here, I'd swear that I just made Derpy molest a muffin, yeesh.
Anywho, enjoy being fools because it doesn't have to be just for one day.