Andrew and His Ever-Growing Pony Pains

by A Cool Guy From a Place

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Human
Length: 995

Andrew Sillery led a decently simple life. That was, until he found himself in Equestria. Then he got bombarded with technicolor ponies. He's not the happiest person in the world.

Andrew Sillery is a cynical guy. Though he was still an average joe, a face in the crowd. One day he got up on a regular day. And everything went to shit. Strange things were inexplicably happening to him throughout the day. It seemed like it couldn't get much worse. That was before he got to a world of his worst nightmares, a world in which he would've hated with a burning passion.

A world of talking multi-colored horses.

It's going to be a long day for Andrew.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-01-19 06:13:28 UTC

Prologue:: Just A Normal Day, Right?

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

"HOLY SHI-". I nearly smashed the alarm clock trying to turn it off. The buzzing was like a fork being shoved into my ear. It... always was, really. I finally managed to turn it off and looked at the time. 9:30 A.M. "Blecch. Suppose I better get up." My name is Andrew Sillery. I'm a 20 year old tech-savvy college student. I'm pretty anti-social, mainly staying in my dorm room playing on my laptop or 3DS. I've had girlfriends, but I got severely... well, dumped.

My roommate, Nick, was a druggie and a party person. A great combination. I stumbled out of bed. I looked around and saw the usual. Clothes strung about, Nick passed out from some party he crashed at. I usually helped him become sober again, (or I had to deal with his drunk-ass crap), but I was so tired, I honestly didn't care. Maybe I'd make him a note before I left. "It's the least I could do to help him," I said, rolling my eyes.

I brushed my teeth, took a shower, and put on deodorant. After putting on some new clothes, I went downstairs and decided to get on the computer. It was a present my parents gave to me right before I left for college. Despite everything, my parents are pretty cool. The familiar tune as I booted it up gave me a nice feeling inside. Nowadays it was pretty much the only thing keeping me sane around here. I didn't have to go to any classes yet. I still had about an hour and fifteen minutes until the next one started.

...that was before I looked at my computer clock and found out that my alarm clock had been stuck on the wrong time and was currently about an hour further than what I had thought. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" When did my clock turn the wrong time? I thought back to when it possibly could've changed. "Yesterday...no...Tuesday....no....Mond-"

That's when it hit me. I had been out on Monday and Nick had trashed the place. Then on Tuesday I had an all-nighter to finish a paper, so I didn't use it. One of his friends must have changed it, and I didn't know. I sighed a sigh that was all too familiar. Whatever YouTube was doing would have to wait, apparently. I wrote a note for Nick when he woke up, grabbed my laptop, and headed out for class.

Or at least I TRIED to.

When I started to leave, I noticed that strange things were going on around me on my way. None very visibly present, but there was no one outside and the air was way too hot for October. It was all incredibly off to me and made me wonder what the heck was going on. If I were SMART, I would have left back for my apartment. I began feeling a strange sensation in my chest area. It didn't feel like anything I had felt before, like a non-fatal heart attack. It was growing quickly and was getting slowly more painful, which made me all the more glad I didn't take my car, since I was close to the campus.

And, with, what I can only presume from what happens in cartoons was a quick flash, I was gone.

No one was around to notice what had happened to me. I had just been teleported. Teleported off the face of the Earth. Of course, I didn't know that's what had happened at the time and no one else would, either. No one knew of the (sort-of) adventure that I was about to embark on. No one knew my (sort-of) journey.

The void is a dark place. It sucks in, and it exhales nonstop. The void is also a place of comfort. No sound, no thoughts. Just black, empty, nothingness. I was in there for only a moment before I was shifted again, but it felt like an eternity. This was the first time I was in the void, but far from the last.

Twilight sat up in her bed. She peered over at the moon, with the same ominous symbol it always had in her lifetime. She knew what it was. It was the symbol of Nightmare Moon. Celestia's sister. The 1000 year banishment was soon to be over. Twilight couldn't fathom what would happen when she came back. She could only hope for the best. She looked over at her sleeping dragon and pondered about her life, where it was going, what she was doing with it. Twilight suddenly snapped back to reality. Her horn hurt. Something magical was interfering with it. Twilight was too tired to bother. She had plans tomorrow, and she needed sleep.

This would mark 3 days before she moved to Ponyville, made 5 friends, and helped to defeat Nightmare Moon and reunite Celestia with her sister. She would then move on to face many baddies in her path, doing it all with her friends. They would be the best of the best team-wise. They would learn many things about friendship.

That might have been the path. A straight line. No curves, no forks, no nothing. Just straight. Of course I HAD to show up and put a dent in that path. Can I do ANYTHING right?

So yeah. I got transported to a mythical land full of ponies and rainbows. You could say I'm not the happiest of campers. That's the only reason I know any of this and am able to write this. I should make this perfectly clear right now. I AM NOT A PONY PERSON. OR A RAINBOW PERSON. OR REALLY A PERSON WHO LIKES THAT SORT OF STUFF. Anyways, it's so insane, I decided to write it here for all the masses to see. Eh, you guys deserve to hear my story. This is me, and my ever-growing pony pains.