I woke up to the sound of knocking, so I got up and went to the door. I opened it to see nothing, no Spike, no Twilight, just an empty hall. I stepped out and looked to the left towards the stairs to see nothing, then to the right to a long empty hallway that leads to a door with a glow coming from it.

Great, Twilight is doing ANOTHER all nighter. I started to head for the door, but after a while I heard a very familiar voice in a long breathed, silent tone. “Daaaaaaaaaannnnnieeeeeeeeelllllllll”

“N…Nichole?” I hurried for the door, but anytime I got close the hall seemed to stretch making the door farther away.

While I stood frozen looking at the door slide further away, I saw I had hands. I looked myself over to see I was human. I looked at the door and heard Nichole call my name once more, but this time a sharp sting went through my chest which made me grip my shirt. This pain…it’s agonizing…I…remember this pain…the pain of knowing the feeling of true love, and being betrayed by the one the feelings are for…I know it isn’t real but it hurts. If once could live without a heart, I would cut it out…because this pain is unbearable.

I turned and headed for the stairs and jumped off the top of the stairs landing in the library panting and holding my chest, while I was panting. I looked at the libraries front door, feeling nauseous. I turned around to look between the kitchen doorway and the top of the stairs back and forth. I eventually looked between the two so quick, I saw something at the top of the stairs and looked at the kitchen doorway, but I quickly looked at the stairs again.

I rushed out of the library and closed the door watching it as I backed away. I could feel my body burning up, and it felt so light, that I knew I had to look like that elven version of myself. I nervously gulped down the lump in my throat and calmed my breathing, as I watched the door.

I heard the groan of wood and looked up to see a black mass jump off the balcony to try to land on me. I quickly jumped back and went into a roll only to stop myself in a knelt down position. I could just look at the black mass bubble, and take shape.

I could only stand and watch it. “What are you? What do you want?!”

I never expected to hear a voice, but it wasn’t from the black, bubbling mass that was making a humanoid shape, it was in the air itself, coming from all around, yet nowhere. “’I am your anger, your rage…and your pain…and…” it looked at me as it took my shape, and colors filled over the black to look like human me in a black shirt, jeans, but it had white hair, instead of my ‘dirty blonde’ hair. “and I…want….OUT!”

It charged me making a big bladed bastard sword but the handguard went out and had axe blades on them. I quickly focused to make my sword appear, pulling it out and blocked his attack, which made me slide back. Once I stopped sliding I could feel my whole body start shaking, and I couldn’t move my legs. I am so thankful I had a friend who was into swordplay. We always used foam swords we made to practice, and eventually got to where we could go at a normal speed, and still block each other.

I looked at my sword seeing it had no handguard. “I have to be careful of him sliding his blade down my sword…” I looked at ‘Rage’ as I am gonna call him, and he was…smirking…? Why?

I felt my ear twitch, so I spun quickly and swung my sword just to have it blocked by Rage. I slid my blade to the side and slid to his side moving away and looked around to see only one Rage. Ok, he must use illusions, so I just need to watch it and trust my instincts.

I kept dodging and blocking his attacks as he was just relentless on his onslaught of swings and kicks. I haven’t seen an opening at all. It’s like his swordplay is flawless, his motions are so fluid and agile, and I can’t block him forever. I saw his swing his sword down, so I raised my sword up, baring my palm against the flat of the blade to catch it, and then I saw an opening. I slid over and tilted my sword as his blade connected and pushed me aside a bit more as his blade slid off. As soon as it went off the end of my blade I kicked my foot into the flat of his sword, quickly spun my sword up to point it at him and pushed forward as fast and hard as I could.

I stood there panting as my sword pierced his neck, with my foot still against his blade that was embedded in the ground. I couldn’t help but smile a bit, knowing that I had won. I felt my ear twitch, but I was frozen, I couldn’t move.

I then heard Rage’s voice whispered in my ear. “Nice job…weakling…” I felt a sharp pain go through my body and raised my head to scream from the blade impaling straight through me.

My eye’s snapped open and I started screaming loudly in such pain. My scream seemed endless, how long have I screamed now? An hour? Two? I have no idea, time seemed to stop existing, but I then felt a sharp pain in my cheek and I stopped screaming and panted with a loud wheezing sound. I can’t believe it…I’m gonna…wait…

I looked over quickly to see Twilight, Spike, Pinkie, a few ponies I didn’t know, and don’t care to, at the door to my room. I looked at my bedside to see Rarity. I blinked and pushed my covers down to see my chest and placed my hooves over a few spots.

I let my head fall onto the pillows as I was still panting hard when I heard Rarity’s voice. “Blaze, what happened? Why were you screaming?”

I carefully sat up, but still felt a sting where Rage’s blade impaled me. “Just a nightmare….that I could feel to the most minute detail….” I slid off the bed and carefully got my balance as my legs felt like rubber. “I’m sorry I woke you…I’m fine….”

“Woke us? It’s past noon. I was here to talk to Twilight, and we heard you screaming, like you were being killed up here.” That made me look at Rarity then the clock. It was almost 2 in the afternoon.

A while after the unknown ponies left I started grabbing my stuff while Rarity and Twilight was asking about my dream. I just told them I dreamt of the times I was attacked in my old world, and I could feel the pain. That got them to stop about the nightmare. I didn’t wanna worry them with this…thing…I have in me…I don’t know how but I just knew that what I experienced wasn’t some normal nightmare, I was deep in my own mind, my psyche, and now the anger and pain I have held in are fighting for dominance.

I got my saddlebags on and made a whistle sound as Cynder flew over and landed on my back, and asked Twilight to take Mimzy to Fluttershy’s for me. I was soon flying to Canterlot with Cynder flying beside me.

I landed at the castle gates with a sigh as Cynder landed on my back. I walked up to the gates, and the guards at the gate. I was about to tell them the princess was expecting me, and the gates opened. I looked at the guards then started to walk through the gate.

On my way up I saw two pegasi sitting at the door to the castle talking. One was a smaller pegasus with a green coat, and messy, slightly curly black hair, while the bigger pegasi was red like Big Mac, but had a mane styled like Vinyl’s but bright yellow, and was wearing an eye patch and they seemed worried. I started to head up the steps which made them look at me and smile? Do I…know them?

I looked at the bigger pegasi wearing an eye patch, and blinked as an image flashed in my mind. “No way…Swift? Fleet?!” they nodded and I headed over. “It’s been a long time. How’s the coolest guards I know doing?”

Fleet was the first to answer. “Oh, we’re fine. Just started talking like you got hurt on the way here. You were expected an hour ago, but the princess wasn’t worried. We did though, but it’s good to see you are ok.”

“Heh, please, as if oversleeping is something to worry about.” I chuckled and shook Swifts hoof, then gave Fleet a hoof bump.

We headed into the castle as they explained how boring being a guard was. It sounded like an easy job to me, boring, but easy. We soon reached the throne room, and I could see Celestia sitting on her throne looking at a bunch of papers. I started to head over to Celestia, which she soon looked at me and smiled setting the papers aside. “Hello Blaze, it’s good to see you again. You requested some time here correct?” I nodded. “You do not have to, but may I inquire why you wanted to stay for a while? You didn’t have an argument with my student, or any of her friend’s, did you?” I shook my head.

“No. No arguments or fights princess, just…I wanted to get my thoughts in order…I think I may have been around the girls too much.” She smiled and nodded.

It’s been hours since I got here. It was a relief my talk with Celestia finally ended. I introduced her to Cynder, explained about the black and blue phoenix marking me, and then me and her just talked about what all has happened. At one point she asked, what made me need a break from the girls. I just explained that it was personal, and it even leaked into my dreams.

Cynder was introduced to Philomena, and they headed off. For the next hour, it was me, Swift, and Fleet talking about what has happened since the hospital. Apparently Fleet got promoted in rank, for the calmness he kept when around me, and kept his nerve. Seems like an odd reason for a promotion but for him I guess it was a huge accomplishment since he always flinched at any trace of a threat, and him keeping himself calm was a serious jump in his character. I shouldn’t think on it, considering how weird the reason was.

The sun was setting while I was relaxing on the bed in the room I stayed in before. It was apparently down the hall from Luna’s room, which I didn’t know before. That also explains why Celestia was sad when we entered this hall.

After a little while, Cynder flew into the room by the open window, and landed on my back while I was relaxing on the bed looking in an old book I got from the castle’s library. I heard a knock at the door and got up to go see who it was. I opened the door to see nothing, so I poked my head out and looked to both sides. Am I dreaming again? No, I wasn’t even tired yet…I mean the sun practically JUST set.

I sighed and closed the door placing my head against it. “I must be going crazy or something…”

I turned around to head for the bed, just to have my nose press against something, which made my eyes snap open as I was now looking into a pair of bright green slitted eyes, and I could see traces of green hair at the sides of my vision. I backed up about to apologize but I saw a gnarled, hole covered horn, and hooves with holes you could see straight through.

A green glow surrounded her horn as everything felt…”warm and…..fuzzy…..so….very…..fuzzy….” as soon as that last word left my mouth I saw images go through my mind, but they weren’t memories, they were from my dreams.

I saw moments of me and Twilight snuggled together under a blanket on the couch watching a movie. Me and Dash laying on a cloud at night looking at the sky, just to see her zoom off, which I flew after her, knowing she was testing me, which I remember that dream ending up with me tackling Dash on a cloud, which she then pulled my head towards hers. Then I saw images of me and applejack eating some apple tarts under a tree, but she was leaning against me, while my wing was around her back.

I then saw Rarity working on a nice suit, with gems, and frills. I could hear her voice in the distance, saying it was for a ‘Fancy Pants’, but after she had put on a row of sapphires along the lapel, she walked over and did a dramatic fall, which I caught her. It looked like we were dancing and I had dipped her, and her hoof was on her forehead just under her horn. The next image was Fluttershy…she had fallen asleep against me from helping so many animals. I just held her, stroking her mane, which made her smile in her sleep…

As I saw these images, I felt myself growing weaker by the second, and my body burned, and ached. When the images stopped I was on the floor of the room, and I could see Cynder unconscious on the bed. I moved my eyes to look up to see a….a changeling…that was as tall as Celestia, biting into my neck, and a pink mist was flowing into the air out the side of her mouth…wait, her?

I started to try to push her off, which made her let go with a content sigh as she wiped some of my blood off her chin. “THAT was a great feeding…much more potent than any normal pony…you…my little morsel…are as good as ten catches…” she grinned, in such a way I felt my heartbeat in my throat.

Her horn started glowing again and that fuzzy feeling came back. But this one brought no images or dreams…it just brought darkness, and fear. A fear that made me so scared, and concerned for my life. I read that changelings tend to drain love from other beings….to the point of either they lose their sense of any emotion…or death. I never got to tell the girls how I felt…

I never got to tell Rarity how her generous nature always brought a smile to my face...I also never got to tell Fluttershy how her shy, and caring ways helped brighten my darkest hours.…I never got to tell any of them how i felt….and now I’m either going to lose all emotion…or die…I’m sorry girls, but…I guess this is goodbye…

Author's Note

do NOT think this is going to end here.

IT CANT END HERE I STILL HAVE SO MANY PLANS FOR CHARACTER PROGRESSION!!!!

well good thing I still have a plan i hope...

so many ideas on how to start the next chapter, and i have my focus on one idea, but another is squeezing its way in...trying to fight it, but its weaseling in!

WEASEL!!!!!!!!!!!

you know what...I'm done trying...pinkie...author's notes is all yours unless i have important to say...so...fuck it...stay...end the world...maybe if the world is pulled into a wormhole, i really CAN go there, and get away from your insane, crazy, psychotic ways...

i broke him... i didnt mean to...please...come back....