I was sitting down under a tree looking down at my right hand looking at the gauss that was wrapped around it in abundance, before closing my hand and sighing lowering it onto the ground keeping my vision on the grass right in front of me.

I heard hoofsteps on the grass, as I saw a cup of tea on a small saucer float into my vision. “Alright, why don’t you tell me what happened.” I slowly grasped the saucer as the magical aura faded soon after, before I took the cup taking a small sip.

I set the cup down, and set the saucer on the grass carefully, as my hand was slightly shaking. “Well…I…don’t know where I should start.”

I looked up to see Shadowflame sitting in front of me looking at me with a worried expression. “How about…right before you went to where the…incident…took place.”

I sighed looking down again, bringing my left hand up to rub my eyes, feeling the exhaustion that had been building up, from the recent events. “Well…I have been having…these odd dreams before I went to help at the Wonderbolt Academy. After having these nightmares so many times, I decided to stop sleeping…again.”

I heard a sigh. “Tell me about these dreams, and what happened at the academy.”

I swallowed the lump that was forming in my throat, taking a shaky breath, closing my eyes placing my hands together, with my elbows on my knees, and my hands in front of my mouth a bit, concentrating on every detail. “well…it was a few days before the Academy sent out their acceptance and denial letters, to the ponies that applied…the dreams didn’t exactly feel…like a dream, but they all involved me and…well…” I opened my eyes, feeling the tears forming in my eyes. “And some others I considered…my brothers…my family…even my mother saw them as her own, just like how their family saw me…”

“Hmm…so you all saw each other as family, even though you weren’t?” I nodded. “I see…tell me about this dream, then what happened at the Academy. Leave nothing out.” I took a deep breath, and began to tell him everything.

A few days ago.

I was walking through the town I lived in, back when I lived with humanity. I stopped at a small building that sat on the edge of the High School’s parking lot, and sat on the brick bench that was inside pulling out my phone as it began to ring. I smirked seeing Jakob’s name on the screen, and swiping on the answer symbol, bringing it to my ear. “Sup bitch, where ya at?!”

I heard him laugh through the phone. “Fuck you, asshole. We should be pulling up there in about a minute. You ready to get sloshed tonight?”

I smirked shaking my head. “Ha, yeah, sure. Me, getting fuckfaced is going to be the time when you come out of the closet for liking Dora the Explorer.” I heard another voice laughing loudly in the background, making me laugh. “OH MY GOD, DO YOU HAVE ME ON SPEAKER?!”

“Oh FUCK you Dan!” I heard him hit the button to end the call as I heard a horn honk, before looking out to see a large truck come to a stop, before I got up heading over to it, to see the window for the passenger side roll down to reveal a guy with short black hair, scratching one of his eyes, as I smirked taking a deep breath. “Don’t you fucking dare, you know Cody’s smoking irritates my eyes.”

I sighed, shrugging. “Spoil sport.” I opened the door to the back seats, and climbed in closing the door looking at the guy in the driver seat with medium length blonde hair that went halfway down his neck, and combed back, making him look like a mafia mobster. “And here is the code-meister with his mafia hair.” He scoffed, before pulling his vape from his mouth, letting out a thick white cloud.

He looked back at me and smirked, as the cloud he made was slowly fading, leaving Jakob coughing a bit, and waving his hand at his face. “Alright, birthday boy, you ready to have some fun?” I smirked and crossed my arms giving a shrug, making him laugh silently. “I see how it is. Alright, get ready for a bumpy ride BITCHES!”

The dream faded out, leaving me to open my eyes and weakly look around, to see Ponyville around me, but it felt…odd. “Wh-what the…?” I slowly stood up placing my hand over my right eye as it was closed…no, covered by something, soft. It seemed like an eye patch, but right before I was going to take it off, I saw something fall, hitting the ground sending a dust cloud out from the point of impact, making me raise my arm to defend my left eye from the dust.

I lowered my arm, to see a cloaked shadowy mass slowly get up, and look at me with one eye glowing green from the darkness of the hood. I blinked to try to clear the stinging in my eye from the dust that was in the air, and stepped back to see the shadowy mass was now right in front of me. I tried to grab my sword, to feel something hit me in the stomach, making me cough, as I grab my stomach, leaning over trying to breathe. The next thing I knew, something had wrapped around my neck, and lifted me off the ground, using one hand to grab what was around my neck, looking at the shadowy mass to see Jakob’s face, with glowing, gold colored eyes, in a dark green sclera.

I heard Twilight’s voice and an unfamiliar voice call out my name, making Jakob look around me. “Ah, I see you’ve arrived. How nice.” He brought his focus back to me as he turned to the side pulling me around with him, as I could see Twilight, and…a blurry form, that seemed taller than Celestia by my guess. “You’re just in time.” He brought up his hand that had some kind of black skin up to his forearm, with long claws on each finger, placing a talon right at the center of my chest. “Here is the man, you’ve entrusted everything to…now bear witness, as his life comes to an end.”

I felt an odd energy form at the tip of his talon. It was very familiar…I felt this same heavy sensation when I met Scorch in my dreams. A heaviness, which denied me any movement, and made it hard to properly breathe. Just as I felt the energy go through my body, I would sit up in bed, gasping, before holding my chest and breathing hard, waking Twilight every time I had such a dream, and every time she would comfort me, and lie there with me till I calmed down.

After a few nights of it happening, I would decide to lie in bed with her till she fell asleep, and pull out my PS4 controller, and some headphones, setting the games audio to come through the headphones connected to my controller only, as I played varying games, to keep myself occupied.

I hated telling her I woke up early and just didn’t want to wake her by getting up from bed, and sneaking Zecora’s “instant sleep” brew around her back, but I had to do something to stop these nightmares.

One day before first day of Wonderbolts Academy

I had gulped down a vial of Zecora’s brew, before Twilight came downstairs. I walked out of the kitchen to the library, walking to a suitcase that held some changes of clothes, as well as the catalyst and its ivory white necklace, and my gemmed pendant that held my knight medallion, and a picture of me and the girls. I opened the pendant to look at the picture and smiled a bit, remembering the day after the gala.

Pinkie throwing a party, for my and Twilight becoming a couple, which led to her suggesting a picture of me and her, but it didn’t feel right leaving the others out. I wanted a picture of all of us together, which everyone agreed to. I sighed, after reminiscing that memory and grabbed the suitcase, hearing hoofsteps behind me. “Heading to the Academy, to help prepare for tomorrow?”

I looked back to see Twilight and chuckled a bit. “Yeah. I was about to come up and see you before I left, but this makes it easier.” I turned around and knelt down pulling her close, giving her a kiss, as she wrapped her hooves around me returning the kiss in kind.

We broke the kiss and smiled at each other, as I carefully lowered her so she was on all four legs. “Just be careful, alright Blaze?”

I smirked as I stood up. “When am I not careful?” Twilight smirked, and opened her mouth. “Other than all the time.” I rolled my eyes, before looking at her as she giggled. “I’ll be careful, and tell Dash I’m sorry I won’t be there tomorrow.” She nodded as I focused on the ether, before feeling my body heat up for a moment, causing a quick flash in my eyes, leaving me standing on the Academy grounds.

I began to walk towards the main building that my office/room resided, and headed down the halls. I reached a door with a sun on it, with a crescent moon arching around the sun, like my medallion. I opened the door heading inside to see a full sized bed, a desk with basic office supplies all over it, and a window that overlooked the grounds, where the accepted pegasi would be doing the trials, and training.

I walked to my desk and sat down seeing the pile of files of the pegasi that would be coming here tomorrow, and began to look through them. I got to the final file as the sun was setting, and saw the name for the Pegasus, before I opened it. “Hmm…Lightning Dust…where have I heard that name before.” I began to look through the file, and saw it had three more pages compared to the rest, but most of the extra pages were blacked out. “Hmm…odd.” I flicked the corner of the pages as a flash of fire went over them, making my right eye throb a bit.

I closed my right eye and began reading the pages seeing she was the child of a noble pony that was high up in the royal courts circle, just below my father for that matter, as well as all the trouble she had gotten into. Reckless endangerment due to her high speed in flight, destruction of property from high speed flight through towns, and more from her reckless flight training, and even caused harm, and injured others in Cloudsdale school for gifted fliers, because ‘they were too slow for her’.

I heard my door opening as I quickly got the papers together and pinched the corners as the flames that spread among them came back into my finger blacking out the pages again, and closed the folder setting them in a desk drawer, looking up to see Spitfire, and Soarin walk in. “oh, hey you two. I didn’t expect any others to be here till later tonight.” I looked over my shoulder to see the moon had come up quite a bit. “Oh, uh…never mind, must’ve lost track of time while going over the accepted pegasi’s files.”

I looked back to Spitfire as she chuckled. “Ah, no big deal. Came in early to start working? Seems kinda odd.” They walked to a couple nearby seats climbing onto them as Soarin yawned.

“Eh, I was gonna get comfy, but I thought I should go over these files first. So, what brings you two here? Not just here to check on me, I’m sure.” I smiled getting up and walking to the window seeing pegasi doing some work on the lighting and cleaning the grounds.

“We just wanted to make sure you would be fine up here for days at a time, since we ARE twice as high above the ground as Canterlot. Oxygen deprivation can be really bad.” I looked over to see Soarin smiling a bit. “Gotta make sure nothing happens to my cousin, I mean, you’re family after all.”

I smiled and walked to my desk. “I’ll be fine. I’ve been spending my free time to get used to the low oxygen quality this high up. I remember a few times when Twilight was worried cause I came in with a lot of nosebleeds.” I chuckled a bit imagining the wide eyes she had every time I got home, with my blood covered snout.

I heard Spitfire giggle. “Sounds like she really cares for you.” I nodded a bit. “It’s good to hear that. When we first heard that you were another species, we wondered how everypony would react to you, and we only recently heard you being a…um…something else, was widely accepted, but when we remembered that the other day, we worried you wouldn’t be able to…acclimate to being this high up.”

“Oh, Twilight was there when I was turned into a pony…er, back into a pony I mean.” I leaned on the desk crossing my arms looking down at the floor. “I haven’t tried…standing or grabbing a cloud as a human yet, and changing forms is hard on me since I contracted this…Karmatic Poisoning.” I brought my hand up, placing two fingers just below my still closed right eye, slowly opening it, as I could feel the magic energy flowing from it, before raising my head to look at the mirror on the door, seeing a fire like energy flow off the side of my eye like Sombra’s purple energy. “I just wonder if the torture Sombra put me through triggered it…or even gave it to me.” I closed my eye again, sighing, knowing the energy and tingling would fade in a few more hours.

“It’ll be fine Blaze, trust me. The newbie’s will be coming tomorrow, once they get their letters, then we’ll start orientation at noon, so try to get some rest, alright?” I nodded as Spitfire smiled, and the two left, to do what they needed to do, before they could rest up for tomorrow. I headed to my suitcase, and pulled out a change of clothes for tomorrow before slipping into bed and lying there, and pulling out my phone, and just began to play games on it. After a while of playing different games I sighed and let my arms lower placing the phone on my chest staring at the dimly lit ceiling, from my phone’s screen. I began to think on everyone I hadn’t seen since I came here. My friends, family, even old classmates from high school and college. I opened my right eye to feel the magical surge and tingling was gone, and noticed the ceiling seemed to be enlightened more, for about ten seconds before dimming.

I blinked and looked at my chest seeing my phone’s screen was still on, when it should have auto locked by now. I sat up lifting my phone up and saw at the top corner, that it had a signal, and I had about 30 voicemails, 99+ missed calls, and 99+ text messages. I quickly unlocked my phone and began going through my texts, seeing the latest date for a text was late 2020 on a few, and the latest on a majority of texts were late 2018.

“But…how do I…?” that’s when a thought hit me. I wasn’t in another dimension or alternate universe. I’m on the same planet, just far, far, FAR into the future, after who knows how many extinction events, bringing new life each time, new sentience, and more. “Are some of the satellites still in orbit? Or did something catch and hold signals from back then? If I can find this source…maybe I can get access to the internet somehow, learn what happened, or why things happened this way. Maybe I can change things, or learn more about how things….ended….”

I sighed and turned sitting on the edge of the bed placing my head in my hands, taking slow, deep breaths.“No…I can’t just plan this now, without learning how to control that first. If I can’t control Chronomancy, then these plans would just be for nothing and I’d just crush myself. I have to plan for the now, and the coming storm, not the unknowable future…” I lowered my hands looking at my suitcase across the room. “Not yet…anyway…”

Present Day

I looked over when Shadowflame hummed as he wrote something in an old leather bound notebook. “So, you discovered a…signal, as you called it?” he looked at me as I nodded. “I see.” He looked at his notebook writing more with his magic. “Did you…go over any of these messages?” I sighed and looked up.

I gathered my thoughts, and gulped nervously. Not wanting to talk about the messages, but I knew I had to. “y-yes…so many were messages from the year humanity would know as 2018…some were messages asking where I was, why I hadn’t contacted anyone after my disappearance, but there weren’t many of those…and many of the messages I had were just notices through text for Facebook, or store services to give notices for special deals, or sales. But the ones that seem haunting were the ones that would be from the week after I disappeared…after I was hit by that truck that sent me here.”

I heard the light thud of the notebook closing and of it being set on the ground. “Don’t force yourself, just take your time.”

I sighed shakily lifting my unchanged hand to my face to use the forefinger and thumb to rub my closed eyes, to help calm the throbbing that was starting. “they…so many were…apologies…from old high school classmates, some were some of the girls admitting a crush on me, or telling me someone who had a crush on me, wishing they’d pushed us together…” I pulled my hand away from my eyes looking at the Elysium sky…so blue, and clear…it wasn’t a normal sky blue, it was brighter, while yet…darker. “but I know how my peers are when it’s involving the death of an ol’ classmate or such…they say things, that they don’t mean, or groups of people planning to say one thing, when none of it was true. I’ve seen it too many times. But one text hit me hard, that I saw before the day that….IT happened…”

“You mean the incident…involving your arm there?” I nodded. “Tell me about it.”

A few days after orientation day

I sat up on the side of my bed grabbing the second from last potion I got from Zecora, and chugged it down, before gagging from the taste, and having a shudder flow up my body, leaving me feeling like I had slept, even though I hadn’t. I unlocked my phone, deciding to look at one more text, even though I knew they were false statements, to make the other person feel better, but making myself believe it, somehow made me feel better.

I saw a text from Robert’s account in the messenger and tapped on it, to see what lies he gave. I blinked, staring at my phone, surprised by what I saw. A message that pulled me down, and made me hate myself, even more than I ever had, when living in that point in time. I gulped as I moved my eyes reading over it once more, thinking I was seeing things.

‘It’s sad you died in such a way. Hit by a truck, to just disappear leaving no body, or even anything. L0L, I just wish I would’ve been the one to do you in. you were always trying to be a hero, jumping in, when someone was picked on, even though you never threw a punch. You were nothing more than a coward, that accepted his place in life as a punching bag. Ha, that day was great when I was pushing that knife into you. Watching you cringe, trying to hide that you were in pain, and then seeing you squirm and writhe, from that little episode. Too bad those bastards came and ruined the fun, huh? Well, I hope you’re resting well, in that dark hole where you belong…as if you ever belong ANYWHERE.’

I locked my phone and tossed it onto the pillow on my bed. he was right about me, I was a coward…I knew it, I always did, I knew I threw myself out there to be beat up, depended on others to protect me…help me…I could never protect others then, so why do I think I can now…? I’ve never fought back in life or death situations, I sparred in friendly bouts…I haven’t changed a bit. I can’t change who I am….or what I am.

“I’m such a fai-“ A knock came on the door to the room, making me jump, and completely forget about the text.

“Hey Blaze, you awake? I need your help.” I could hear the annoyed tone in Spitfire’s voice, I got up and walked towards the door wiping my eyes, to mainly wipe the eye gunk away, as well as hide any tears that may have been there, before opening the door looking down at her. “Whoa, you look like Tartarus.” I raised a brow, looking at her. “right, sorry, um…I have some work to do through the Wonderbolt’s…making autographs…for some meet and greet coming up soon after this. Could you watch over the cloud busting today, so I can work on them? I’d really appreciate it.”

I shrugged. “I suppose I could. I’m not a big fan of that Lightning Dust though…you know?” she nodded. “I understand I said you should make her and Dash, a team, but I didn’t expect you to make her lead pony on the two.”

She looked up at me. “I get it, you aren’t happy on that choice, but I saw your side, how Dust see’s her own speed potential, but she tends to push herself a bit further than your friend does.” I wanted to say more and sighed leaning against the doorframe looking at the window. “Besides, if she does something too reckless, you’ll be there to stop whatever happens. I mean from what I hear, you’re pretty powerful.” I opened my mouth to remind her of my condition but, there was a loud throat clearing from further down the hall. “Shoot, sorry Blaze, I gotta deal with this now. Thanks for helping with the watch over the cloud busting.”

I heard her run off, and looked down the hall to see a dark grey earth pony, trotting after her, whom I recognized as the Wonderbolts’ manager. Guess that explains why she HAD to do this pre-autographing session. I closed the door and walked over to the mirror. I began to fix my hair, so I didn’t look like I had bed head, and changed into some blue jeans, and a bright blue shirt.

I began to head outside seeing the assistant instructors finishing up on explaining the details of today’s exercise. I walked over to the chalkboard seeing it was still blank, and prepared it for the counting, for each team, before standing at the side of the board for Dash and Dust’s count holding the piece of chalk. Shortly after one of the other academy instructors joined me, the teams flew off, busting clouds, as I made marks for every cloud that Dust and Dash busted, which was a little difficult to keep up with, since I couldn’t look away from the two with the speed they were going from cloud to cloud.

After a few minutes, I could see them flying in space talking, so I took the chance to look at the board to see they had almost three times more than the other teams combined. I chuckled a bit, and then heard a gruff voice next to me. “Are you really that surprised to see that far ahead?”

I looked at the light brown Pegasus next to me, before looking at the board. “Nah, I’m surprised they haven’t done more.” I heard the Pegasus give a quick chuckle as well, before I looked up at the sky to see a tornado forming from their speed in flight. “Oh shit.” It quickly came towards us, as I saw Lightning Dust, and Rainbow Dash go flying through the air, but I could tell they hit a few, low clouds that were just above the grounds, leaving me to grab the Pegasus next to me and charge some energy through my legs jumping away, hearing the board snap behind me.

I set him down as he looked around frantically before flying up towards the clouds the other teams were at, holding onto to them. I looked at the tornado, and saw something pink swinging around, until I saw a large basket fly out, giving me a glance at the girls falling. “NO!” I ran towards the edge and began to charge as much magical energy into my hand, as I could, but when I got to the edge, I couldn’t swing my arm down to cast a spell, almost like the weight of the energy kept my arm stationary, behind me.

I pulled as hard as I could, until it felt like my arm was going to rip off, yelling out from a mix of the anger at my magic, and the intense pain flowing through my arm. “PLEASE, JUST WORK WITH ME, SOMETHING, ANYTHING!!!” I pulled even harder clenching my teeth together tightly, ripping my arm free, and sending myself falling towards them at a high speed. As I got closer, I reached my arm towards them, as everything around me went black for a while. Once I felt my body stop moving, I relaxed my body, seeing the darkness disperse as I was floating there in the air wearing a large hooded black cloak made of some kind of black energy, with my friends floating around me looking around, as I was panting.

When they all noticed me, they just stared at me wide eyed, making me look at the cloak, seeing the bottom was tattered and waving through the air like a black flame, and some of the tattered shreds were wrapped around the girls. “B-Blaze?” I looked up looking at Twilight, and smiled a bit. They all came towards me as I hugged them, with them returning the hug in kind, pinkie especially.

“I’m so glad you’re all okay.” I looked down over my shoulder, to see we were floating in the air. “Wait” I carefully let them go, and looked at my hands, looking over my shoulder, but saw no wings. “Why aren’t we falling?”

I heard a familiar voice call out from above, looking up to see Dash flying down. “GUYS! Oh my gosh, I’m so glad you’re alright! I almost dove down here after all of you, to condense a cloud to catch all of you.” She sighed and smiled at me. “But, I guess we don’t need to worry as much with you around, do we Blaze? I mean that thing you’re wearing is just AWESOME!”

I looked up, and noticed the academy coming close, making me look down to see I was actually going up. Question is, how? “Umm…I didn’t create or do this Dash…I’m not even sure how I’m even floating upwards, unless it’s all on a subconscious level…?”

I looked at the others to see them shrug, unsure from the situation; even Twilight didn’t seem to understand. I soon felt my feet settle on solid ground, before seeing my friends being set down, and let go from the cloak, before the cloak dispersed into nothing, leaving me standing there, before I felt nauseous and fell onto my knees, nearly falling over, catching myself with one hand, coughing, as I closed my eyes, using my other hand to cover my mouth as I coughed and gasped, feeling something coming out my mouth, and covering my palm with each cough.

As I got my coughing fit under control, taking slow raspy breaths, I could hear a bunch of hoofsteps hurrying over and a set of wings flapping, as another flew over, rather quickly at that. “That…was…AWESOME!” I could hear an odd snarling deep within my head, and a scoff from a raspy voice beside it, as Lightning Dust’s voice rang out.

I felt a pressure lightly push off my shoulder, as I heard Dash’s voice from that same side. “Awesome?! My friends could have been smashed to pieces…or WORSE!”

“Yeah, but they weren’t. Right?” my eyes snapped open after hearing that as I was staring at the ground seeing drops of a black thick substance hit the ground, as an odd pressure began to flow along my arm, from my palm, to the tips of my fingers, and up to my elbow. “The other teams would need days, if not WEEKS of working together, to even get close to how many we just busted.”

I slowly set my hand that was over my mouth on the ground, as I could feel that my eyes were open wide, my teeth clenched together, as well as a burning in my chest from the lack of air, since I wasn’t breathing anymore. “You…arrogant…little….” I felt my fingers curl tightly, gripping at the grass and dirt underneath them.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” I pushed off the ground turning around, while pressing my right foot down, so I lifted off my knee, turning around so I was on one knee, and turned my body reaching my arm with the odd sensation towards her quickly as a large black mass shot out gripping Dust, lifting her up. “YOU NEARLY KILLED THEM, AND ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS HOW MANY GOD DAMN POINTS YOU GOT WITH YOUR RECKLESS, STUPID, MIND-BLOWINGLY IDIOTICLY PLANNED STUNT?!?!?! AND YOU HAVE NO FUCKING REMORSE THAT THEY COULD HAVE FUCKING DIED?!?!” I began to stand up slowly, as I was breathing shakily, as I was able to see my own breath, like the air became ice cold. “Oh ho ho, I can NOT BELIEVE a pony can think like you do…”

I felt a pressure on my chest slowly looking down to see Twilight, pressing her hooves against my chest, looking at me, with a worried expression. “Blaze, stop. Just calm down, it’s alright.”

“Alright? It is not al-FUCKING-right Twi.” I looked at Dust to see the black mass had bound her wings against her sides, and wrapped around her mouth. “No, no, no-no-no-no-noooo…” I carefully pushed Twilight aside setting her down safely, slowly walking towards Dust again, raising my free hand up, and reaching it towards her face. “She needs to see what could have transpired…” my normal hand began to gain a gold glow, as she tried to pull away. “She needs…to learn…a god damn….fucking….lesson…like the ignorant little shit she is…” I could hear many voices telling me to stop, even a few in my head, except for an excited growl, and a dark chuckle inside my head, before my hand touched her head, creating a bright flash.

I stood there, looking down to see Dust, panting and looking around frantically. “W-where am I?!” she looked at me back pedaling a bit. “WHERE DID YOU TAKE ME?!” I lifted a hand as she floated off the ground, walking towards the academy’s edge, setting her there and grabbed her head making her look off it, as the basket and the girls fell down, screaming, as I could hear myself call out, and running over, but I didn’t even look over as I held Dusts head in place, using a couple fingers to make her eyes couldn’t close.

I could feel her struggle as she began to whimper, and I could see a few tears falling over the ledge. “Stop moving, and WATCH!” I looked over her to see the grayed out world, play out, hearing my other self grunt, and groan, and yell trying to do something…trying…forcing….fighting…until I could see Dash fly off the edge and dive down as quick as she could, seeing her trying to slow down, and noticing one of her wings had twisted, in her attempt to slow down. “This could have happened you know. Just because the timeline you live in, they lived, by some lucky fucking chance…doesn’t mean this couldn't have happened.” We eventually saw all of them get close to the ground, before unintentionally letting Dust’s head go and stumbling back heaving, and gasping, as I brought my right hand up to my face, feeling it covered in something thick, and an odor so strong, it made me sick, and dizzy, until I fell back to a sitting position gasping, as I looked around weakly.

I looked up to see Celestia looking down at me, with a mix of anger and worry, a look that only…somehow, someway…she could make. I moved my hand shakily from my face to see it had black veins throbbing from the wrist to the elbow, and a black substance moving around my hand and fingers, like it was trying to control it. “w-what the h-hell?” I turned my hand to look at the palm, seeing it covered in blood, as it flowed down the wrist and arm, dripping off the elbow, as I quickly put it together. I was bleeding from my eyes, nose, and ears, as I got the painful surge coming through my face making my clasp my hand over my face falling onto my back groaning in pain.

I heard a silent sigh, as I could feel the pain, and blood fade away, as I gasped, sitting up breathing hard and fast. “Blaze…?” I looked up at Celestia, then at Dust seeing she was sitting there looking at me, not with fear, but remorse. “What did you do?” I looked at Celestia, knowing I had a lot to talk to her about.

Present Day

I sighed, as I rubbed my right hand, which was wrapped up in gauss, feeling it begin to loosen up a bit. “So…you’re saying you lost control?” I shuddered as I gripped my wrapped hand at the wrist closing my eyes tightly.

I sniffed, as I felt the tears forming in my eyes again. “n-no…I…I WANTED to do it…I wanted to scare her, not make her really see they could have died, but I didn’t lose control, I did it because I WANTED to.” I opened my eyes looking at him clenching my teeth, in anger at myself. “BUT NOW I’M ASKING WHY I EVEN DID SUCH A THING, WHY DID I LET MYSELF DO THIS TO HER?! I WAS NEVER LIKE THIS BEFORE, AND I…” I tensed up as my knees came up to my chest wrapping my arms around them, laying my forehead against my knees rocking myself slowly. “I’m afraid…I’m afraid of myself, of what I’m becoming…you…the princesses…these elemental spirits…EVERYPONY…” I sobbed a bit hugging my legs tighter. “All of you see me as something I’m not…something I can never be…I can’t…I just can’t…”

“What is it that you can never be, Blaze?” I slowly released my grip from my arms. “You can tell me Blaze.”

I curled my arms, keeping my elbows tightly against the sides of my legs, curling up more, as I gripped the back of my head pulling it against my knees harder as I repeated my words faster with each second. “I can’t…I can’t I can’t I-can’t I-can’t I-can’t-I-can’t-I-can’t-I-can’t- I-can’t-I-can’t-I-can’t-I-can’t…”

“BLAZE!”

I released my head, and slammed my hand down, quickly standing up, and yelled at Shadowflame, as loud as I could. “I CANT BE THE FUCKING GOD-DAMNED, PIECE OF SHIT HERO, YOU ALL SEE ME AS, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!!” I stood there panting hard, with my fists clenched, feeling the weakest I had ever felt. My legs shook like jello in an earthquake, my arm’s felt like dumbbells with thousands of pounds on each one, and my heart felt like it was ready to shred itself to pieces with how hard it was beating in my throat, making me feel like I was going to vomit.

He looked at me with an expressionless face, laying his notebook down, as he sighed closing his eyes. “What kind of hero, do you believe we see?”

“The kind that never falls to their darker sides…one who never loses, and perseveres over anything and everything! Someone who can protect everything, without breaking a sweat, and without letting others around them be harmed! I can’t do that!”

“And what makes you think we expect those things of you?”

“I was knighted, I’m here to fight the nightmare’s to stop them from taking over, or destroying everything, or whatever the fuck it is they want to do!”

“And who said you were alone in this?”

“…”

He looked at me with a determined look in his eyes. “Who…said…that…?”

I felt my fists open up as I brought my left hand up, rubbing my wrapped arm, looking away. “I…did…”

“And why would you believe such a thing?” I opened my mouth to answer but he jumped in before I could. “because you are insecure, you hate that you left those you cherish to fight for you for so long, and now you fight alone to make yourself feel better, when it doesn’t help in the slightest.” I looked at him about to reply, but he continued. “You feel that if you hold them back from the confrontations, they won’t be hurt, but you are putting them in the same situation as you were in!” I blinked and looked down. “You push yourself too far, when you don’t even need to, because you have those that want to be there beside you, those who LOVE you, and would die BESIDE you…not in front of you…nor see you die in front of them…”

I sat back down, slowly and shakily grabbing the cup of tea, that I could feel had gone cold, looking at my own reflection in the somehow perfectly still liquid. I sighed and took a deep breath, getting my nerves together, before taking a sip of it as I could feel it heating up as I sipped at it, setting it back on the saucer that was now perfectly stable in my hand. “you’re right…I said it to myself so many times, but like so many things, I tossed it aside, and locked it away thinking I was fooling myself…I’m just…”

“you are afraid of losing everything again…the life you knew, the family you knew…they are all gone, and you know, that they aren’t just alive somewhere out there, and that discovery tore at you, ripped you apart, until the idea that you could have failed in protecting what you loved was pushed into your head by one simple thought…and it nearly killed you. But wasn’t it you that told me that phrase that humanity said…?”

I chuckled a bit. “What doesn’t kill you…”

I looked at him as he smirked. “…makes you stronger.”

“You’re right…” I slowly stood up, and stretched feeling my body had become stiff. “Thank you Shadowflame. I really owe you, and I guess all those sessions with Velvet really did bore their way into my head.”

He chuckled as he got up. “Somepony has to keep you mentally healthy. Both in physical and spiritual manners.” He walked over and pulled me into a hug, like a father would when they see their son had gotten better. “I’m glad to see you got through this.” He let me go, as I looked at him. “For a while there, I was worried you had broken your psyche beyond repair. If I hadn’t thought to make you angry, by making you relive that horrible moment, you may not have ever reached this outcome…I’m…sorry about that as well.”

I blinked and chuckled a bit, in both nervousness, and from awkwardness. “Its fine, at least you got through to me, that’s what’s important…right?” he nodded as I began to walk away to head back.

I heard him clear his throat, as I looked back at him. “And I heard Discord was reformed recently.” I nodded, raising a brow turning to face him. “So…uhhhh….I think you should really try to get him to teach you to control your chaos magic, and Chronomancy, since he can use both so well. BYE!”

I felt myself fall and woke up, lying in my room in the castle, looking around. “Oh, that S.O.B. is really going to have to answer some questions now…” I got out of bed turning to my Pegasus self relieved my Karmatic Poisoning had weakened drastically since I used that odd magic that made that cloak, whatever it was. “But now, I have some other apologies to make.”

I left my room and headed to the throne room, opening the door, peeking my head in, to see my friends, Celestia, and even Twilight’s mother, all with their ears down talking quietly, except Twilight who had her head down, with her mother holding her. I gulped, and pulled my head back looking at the doors leading out to Canterlot, and shook my head, before taking a deep breath, and slowly walking into the throne room, keeping my view down towards the floor, afraid to look up at them.

As soon as I had pushed the door open to walk in, I could hear the murmuring stop. “B…Blaze…?” I froze mid step, and closed my eyes, turning my head away a bit, hearing the very silent, and weak voice of Twilight. I took a breath, and set my hoof that was up, back onto the floor, and opened my mouth, trying to lift my head, but lowered it sighing, a few times, before I heard slow hoofsteps, come up to me. I slowly opened my eyes to see purple hooves, on the floor in front of me.

I lowered my head, taking another breath, before slowly, looking up at Twilight, to see her eyes were bloodshot, and I could see how wet it was around her eyes. “T-Twi, I…I mean…I wasn’t…” I looked down, sighing. “ I fucked up…I know I did…I said horrible things…things I never meant…things I wish that never came out of my damn mouth…words…phrases…that tore at me, as they came out.” I raised my head looking at her. “Thing’s I know I could never apologize for, nor shove away, and help them be forgotten! I let my own pain’s and insecurities come out, and made me want to nip the possibilities of pain for me in the bud, and I wish, more than anything to take them all back…but I know I can never take them back…” I turned my head, looking away. “I’m so sorry ba….I mean….Twilight…”

I slowly backpedaled away to make some distance, looking at everyone. “I’m so sorry, to all of you…I…I was horrible towards every single one of you, I…SAID…thing to all of you, and I would never mean or would have reason to say to any of you. I’m sure, my apologies might mean nothing, from what I had said, but…I wanted you all to know I never meant any of it…a-and that all of you mean so much to me, that nothing could explain how much.” I looked at Twilight as she raised a hoof wanting to come closer but stopped watching me carefully. “…I’m sorry…”

I couldn’t even blink before Twilight rushed to me, and hugged me crying into my chest, as I slowly pulled her close, holding her, before looking at the others to see Pinkie had begun to cry, letting out two arching rivers of tears for a bit, before the rest of the girls ran at me and tackled me in a big hug, as I did my best to hug all of them, using my wings in the process.

After a while, we all got up, wiping our eyes, and Rarity, cleaned up her now running make up, as I looked at Twilight’s mother who walked over looking at me. “v-velvet, I’m sorry I-“ she pulled me into a hug, which surprised me, as I just smiled a bit, and hugged her as well. Once we separated, I looked at Celestia who had a blank expression as she watched me.

I walked up to her, and slowly reached under my wing, pulling out my knight medallion, gently setting it down on table. “I don’t deserve to be a knight, princess. I did and said horrible things…kept my friends and you in the dark…” I slid the medallion to her, and let it go. “I’m so sorry…”

I saw Celestia; rotate the medallion with her hoof, staying silent, as I could hear it turning on the wooden table. “Blaze…” I felt my ears lay back, as I closed my eyes, expecting her to ask me to leave, or maybe even send me away like she did, Nightmare Moon. “I have never, and still do not regret giving you this medallion.” I opened my eyes and looked at her, as she looked at me and smiled at me. “You were not yourself, and I understand how much stress you were under. As much as I hate to say it, I’ve done irrational things in my youth as well, especially in my early years of ruling this country. And thinking over what all you have done. ‘helped with nightmare moon, with discord, a dragon, the changeling siege, helping create PEACE with the changelings, and that odd creature you ran off, as well as REVIVING Somepony, all before becoming an alicorn, and forcing it away, retaining an affliction, and being asked to assist with the Wonderbolt Academy, where you pushed yourself to save those close to you, nd the only thing you did was make her see a different possibility to show her she can’t be so ignorant to her actions? I couldn’t be more proud of you Blaze.” She slid the medallion back to me, as I couldn’t understand, as she just smiled at me. “I would just like you to take your job…less seriously. I want you to live your life. Being a knight does not mean being some…one-pony-army. It’s a title that is earned for all the incredible thing’s you have done for us and all of Equestria. A symbol that says ‘we can trust you to be there when you are needed.’ And you always have.”

I closed my eyes and hugged her, unable to hold back, and cried, as I felt her hold me like a mother would, as I let everything I had ever held throughout my life, babbling nonsense, and speaking gibberish, all with horrible stuttering…as much as I hate to say…all the way until I passed out from emotional and mental exhaustion.

Author's Note

*SLAM!*

oh my...umm...i hope you enjoyed this chapter, i'm sure Danny would like to know you did, and uhh...i should get Applejack to help get him into bed...be right back.

no...my cuddle buddy...sad ending...sad song...nmmehminimm

oh, umm...ok.yaaayyy

hey Fluttershy, do you know where Da-

oh, umm...h-hi Twilight.

let's get him into bed, then we can go to bed.

im game! ...umm, what am i game for again? ohhhh, wow Shy. lucky you.

mmm need cuddle buddy...mine...

hmph...i want to be his cuddle buddy too...

aren't we all? although we have to be sure to wake up before he does, you know he freaks out.

but he never called us such....

he's asleep Dash. remember how much he's worked on this last chapter?

ooohhhhhh yyyyeaaaahhh, he rewatched that like a thousand times didnt he? ha, he's watched me the most then!

multiverse chapter....next....many ideas......must approve with other story's writer before publishing....work...job....too much.....

alright, time for bed, before he says too much.