My Little Pony: Pirates Edition

by Chris Mcgrassio

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Daring Do, Spitfire, Main 6, Lightning Dust, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Random, Adventure, Crossover, Sex
Length: 4829

Jack Sparrow was having another normal day trying to find a way to fix his Black Pearl ship that was still stuck in it's bottle. He found a map that led to him a treasure that would save it, What happened was he found colorful ponies instead of this.

Captain Jack Sparrow. Just having another normal day being a pirate and finding a cure for his black pearl ship that was stuck in it's bottle still from his most recent adventure.

He went to go find something to re-fix his ship so he could finally set sail, and he found a treasure map that led him to something that should've fixed his ship and made it back to normal.

But, instead of fixing his ship. He is sent to someplace he was not expecting was real.

A world, made of colorful ponies. Also, any kind of feedback would be awesome. Positive or negative, I'll take it :)

(Crossover with Pirates of the Caribbean. Jack Sparrow is our important character, and the humor is gonna be just like it is from the movie. Except funnier. Also, No futa? WHAT!?!?!??!?! But yeah, I am gonna have fun with this one XD.) Doing this just for fun, I have nothing to do with anything :)

(Also, Mature rating for alcohol, sex reference, shippage, and possible sex references.........don't judge me. Also, swearing, Jack Sparrow humor and much more! But no futa :) ) Also Why is the rum gone? Gag XD

Published 2015-04-02 13:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-07 16:48:17 UTC

Twilight introduces herself, and Jack gets to know her friends

Jack was really surprised of how real this place was. He always felt drunk from all the rum he drank, but this place being real? That blew his mind and for once in his life, he felt sober.

And Jack being sober, is worse then being dead.

He looked in his pouch for the rum and felt it was empty.

He sighed.

"Why is the rum always gone?" Jack asked.

"What was that?" Twilight asked.

"Nothing," Jack replied.

he always hated about his rum got empty at the most inopportune times. Maybe he had an extra one in his hat.

A light bulb went off.

'Yes! I always kept an extra under my hat!' Jack thought hopefully.

He took his hat off and smiled.

'There we are!' Jack said to himself.

He took the rum out of his hat and dranked it.

He ahhhed relivingly.

"I needed that. Now everything is back to normal! No need to worry anymore! Things are........" Jack was starting to feel better being drunk again, but he was still here.

Holding a ponies purple hoof, and seeing all these over ponies wave at him with smiles.

He just doesn't know why, but this place seemed like something out of a little girl's imagination. He didn't like it one bit and felt some of his manliness go away the longer he held this ponies hoof.

But he needed to gain it's trust, so he lived with it right now.

They walked into a far too colorful building that looked like a piece of candy, and went to go sit down.

"This is sugarcube corner! I told my friends and the Princesses about how your here and they are on their way here to meet you!" Twilight said, smiling.

Jack didn't know why, but he just felt some kind of despise towards this pony.

Maybe it's because it just said that he was going to meet her friends and Princesses who are on their way here now? Yeah that's it. It may be the rum saying Twilight is evil and bad, but that must be it.

Jack's first rule to everything in life, "Always listen to what the thoughts say after drinking Rum. They are always right." And thanks to them thoughts, he was able to get out of a lot of predicaments. A lot of them -_-.

Jack twiddled his hands around while drinking his rum. He was still staggering left and right, looking ready to fall at any moment even though he was sitting.

"How about we get to know each other more while we wait for my Friends?" Twilight asked.

"All right. First question," Jack said, bringing up a finger.

"Is that a horn and Wings? Or are they something else?" Jack asked.

Twilight brought up her wings and touched her horn. She smiled at Jack and replied.

"Oh! My horn is what I use for magic and my wings for flying! My species name is called an Alicorn! I used to be a unicorn though," Twilight said.

"Now then.....what's magic? And who are you really?" Jack asked, feeling really drunk.

In fact, Jack was so drunk that his metabolism got so high that no matter how much he drinks he never falls asleep from the madness that is name rum. Know why? Because Jack's got a bottle of rum. That's why.

Anyways, Twilight replied as good as she could so Jack understood. (And yes, the rhyming was on purpose.)

"Magic is a part of our world. Our magic is enlisted in many things. Honesty, Loyalty, Kindness, Generosity, Laughter, and the most important one of all Friendship," Twilight said.

Jack reeled back in shock.

"There is also dark magic in our world too that is very disharmonious is bad. Stay away from it. Also, my full name is Twilight Sparkle and I would love to tell you more of me!" She said, excited.

Jack blinked.

'Friendship? Really? Since when did I land in the world of sappiness and too happy universe?' Jack thought confusedly.

Twilight talked about how she lives in a castle and works in a Library named the Golden Oaks Library.

She talked about her friends and her most personal assistant friend and the Princesses.

Her friends were the other harmonies of this world.

Applejack of Honesty, Rainbow Dash of Loyalty, Rarity of Generosity, Fluttershy of Kindness and Pinkie Pie of laughter.

Some of these names really made Jack chuckle.

'I really should get out more. These names are like something a 5-year old would come up with," He thought laughing.

Spike, her assistant was no better. He sounded like some kind of boy who tried to find love and be noticed. It was cute really.

But, the Princesses were probably the best of them all.

Their names were Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.

'Since when did the deities get to be here?" Jack thought confusedly.

He knew how exact Celestia and Luna's names were to some deities he knew.

Like, Celestia was a part of something for the sun and Luna was a part of something for the moon.

Then, Twilight informed him of how Celestia is the holder of the sun and Luna is the holder of the moon and how they are co-rulers of this planet.

Jack was at a loss for words.

'Wow.I'm drunk and I knew what I was talking about? I wish I had that jar of dirt and poured it over me again,' Jack thought, annoyed.

He decided to tell Twilight some things about him. How his first adventure was like and everything,

He kept the parts out about how he was a part of the evil crew and talked about how nice of a guy he was. Thankfully, it paid off and she believed in him.

Then, they heard a ringing sound by the door.

"Gasp! Girls! Come here! This is the guy I was talking about!" Twilight said, smiling.

Jack turned his body around and saw 7 new ponies and a-is that a dragon?

'Is that seriously a baby dragon?' Jack thought.

When he saw the Ponies he only had one thing to say.

"Do you ponies have rum?" Jack asked.

To Be Continued.......

Saying some things to Twilight's friends, no rum, and trying to go find rum

Jack was heart-broken. There was no rum in this world. The only bottle he had left was all he had of rum left. He may be heart-broken for the rest of his life.

"Is there anyway that magic can save the rum?" Jack asked, hopefully.

"I am sorry sir. But not even magic can save your......rum," Celestia the white pony said.

Jack felt ready to cry. He felt ready to throw a fit. NO RUM!!?!??!? In this universe!!!!??!?!?! This annoyed Jack a bunch, and he hated it. No rum? No way!

'Without rum I'll die!' Jack thought, fearfully.

The Princesses rolled their eyes.

"Oh! Also, This is Jack Sparrow guys! Meet my friends Jack!" Twilight said, smiling.

"All right," Jack said.

He looked at the ponies.

Then he named off the ones that he looked at.

He looked at Twilight who had purple hair with pink stripes.

"Twilight, Your the smart and overly dumb leader one," Jack said.

She glared at him.

He looked at the yellow one with light pink hair..

"Your Fluttershy, the shy one who can't get friends without being scared," Jack said.

She sniffled.

He looked at the dark white one with purple hair.

"Rarity, Your the seductive hot bitch," Jack said.

'Man....Am I happy to be away from Disney,' Jack thought, relivingly. Now that he was no longer in Disney space, he can say whatever he wants.

She gasped dramatically.

"Why I never!" She harrumphed, and her hair waved.

Jack look at the pink one who was too pink.

"Pinkie Pie, Your the crazy one who has too much fun and is probably friends with everyone," Jack said.

"It's everypony Jack! Also, I still have to be friends with you!" She said, smiling.

"Should add smile to much to that list too," Jack said.

He looked at the orange one with blonde hair next.

"Applejack, Your the one who is dedicated to protecting your family and always being a bad liar." Jack said.

He knew it was Applejack from her butt.

She...well.....she smiled.

"Thanks pardner," She tipped her hat.

"No problem," Jack said.

Jack looked at The blue one with rainbow hair.

He was then silent.

It grinned.

"What? Am I so awesome that your at a lost for words?" Rainbow asked.

"No. Your hair's just so weird for it signifys that you want to be gay," Jack said.

Rainbow blushed.

"Also, rainbow hair? Your Rainbow Dash, the one who is way more loyal to his friends and would love to get.......'loyal' with them if you know what I mean," Jack said, wagging his eyebrows and snickering.

She stuttered and blushed.

"What? Am I so awesome that I left you at a loss for words?" Jack asked.

Rainbow crossed her hooves and pouted.

He went onto the dark one next.

She put her hoof up.

"Now before you berate me, let me just make sure you know who I am. I am Princess Luna of the night, and thy will hurt you and if you cross the line. Thy understands?" She said, glaring at Jack.

Jack shrugged, "I don't care."

"Your the one who is lonely and have no friends and wants to be noticed like the little dragon here," Jack said, laughing a little.

Luna frowned sadly.

"Sad thing is....your right," Luna said, sighing.

"Hey!" The dragon said.

"Also, your Spike the dragon which is to freaking hilarious to me for the people must have been slacking when making your name," Jack said, smiling.

"Ah Phooey!" Spike said, pouting.

Then he looked at the last one, the white one with colorful hair.

"Celestia, your the one who can kill me if she wants to, blackmail me if she wants too, have fun with me if she wants to, and much more.....also, your bum is big," Jack said, pointing at her butt.

Celestia sighed.

"I know," Celestia replied.

"Do you know how to fix my ship?" Jack said.

He brought out the bottle that held his ship in front of Celestia.

"Nope. I don't have the magic to fix your ship back to normal," Celestia said.

"All right," Jack said.

He got up from his sitting position and left.

"Then I shall go on another adventure and go find something that will. Bye," Jack said, leaving.

"Well that escalated quickly, more quickly then I thought it would be at least," Twilight said, surprised.

The ponies snickered.

Jack walked out of the strange building and looked around. All these ponies who were under his waist height were really small, and he needed to go on yet another adventure to go find this thing to fix his ship.

He had many things on his mind. Figuring out how to get home, fix his ship and much much more. But the thing that was on his mind the most was finding rum. He needed rum, so looked in his pockets. Nope, not there. He looked in his shirt. Nope, not there either. Then he looked inside his hat for any extra one he hid there. There wasn't any rum there inside his hat either.

He put his hat on, looked left and right, Breathed in and out tiredly and yelled out his most important thing in life.

"GOD DAMMIT WHY IS THE RUM GONE AGAIN!?!?!?!?!?!" Jack yelled.

He ran and yelled at everypony he saw and asked if they knew were rum was at. After that, he ran into the forest and screamed once again just cause he was mad.

"WHERE IS THE RUM!?!?!?!?!?!? WHY IS IT ALWAYS GONE WHEN I WANT IT!?!?!?!?!" Jack yelled, drunk and angrily.

To Be Continued.......................

Another adventure in the forest, and meeting somepony like you

Jack Sparrow wore himself out. He ran and ran, and now he is in the forest getting mad. Over not having rum.

"Rum is important to my life though. I need it! Without it, I can't do any of my things I use to do!" Jack said to himself.

Jack blinked.

"Now I am turning insane without Rum. See? I need it! Like I need to fix my stupid ship that's still in this bottle!" Jack said.

He looked at his ship in vain.

"I will find a way, even if it kills me without rum," Jack said, feeling ready to die.

"Hopefully when I finish my adventure my reward is getting rum, and not just one. I mean a lifetime of it," Jack said, smiling.

"If I get a lifetime of it, my legacy can end and I can finally rest in peace......right now though, I NEED TO FIND A WAY OUTTA THIS FOREST!" Jack said, looking around for an exit.

He ventured around, looking for an exit out of this abomination of a forest. Then, he found some old ruins. He thought for the heck of it to go and see what's in there. He used his sword and started swinging the annoying branches and leaves out of the way.

He noticed that throughout his time here, his moustache actually growed into a beard.

"Huh. I wonder if this universe has shavers?" Jack asked himself.

He continued on, and saw a pony already venturing in there.

He saw someone fly out and he yelled out to who it was.

"OY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Jack yelled.

The pony stopped and turned around to see Jack. When it saw Jack, the eyebrows rose and it looked interested.

The pony flew over to Jack and landed gracefully in front of him.

"Now who the hay are you?" She asked.

Jack knew it was a girl from how the pony looked.

"I'm a pirate, My name's Captain Jack Sparrow!" Jack said, doing a pose.

He sticked the pose for a while, even though there was only silence.

The pony had a bored look on her face.

Jack looked at the pony and rose his eyebrows.

The pony was wearing a green jacket and a weird hat on top of her head. She had orange eyes and black hair with a darkened fur of orange.

"So who are you?" Jack asked.

The pony smiled.

"Who am I? I! AM DARING DO!" Daring said, doing a pose as well.

But she got thunder for her pose.

Jack glared.

'Why did she get thunder for her pose but not me!??!?!?!?!' Jack thought, annoyingly.

"So why are you in this forest Jack?" Daring asked.

"I got lost, and was looking for rum," Jack replied.

Daring smiled.

"Rum huh? Why don't you come with me?" She asked, smiling.

"Uhm...all right," Jack relented.

They started walking and They walked out of the forest.

Daring brought Jack to her home that looked really old and dumpish.

"It may looked bad, but it's still a home," Daring said, shrugging.

"That's true," Jack replied.

They went inside and Daring put down what she got from the ruins and said, "I'll be back in a minute!"

"Take your time!" Jack replied.

He may be a pirate, but.......ah screw it.

He looked at the artifact on the table, he wondered if it was worth it.

"Nah. It's probably not," Jack told himself.

Daring came back and in her hoof was.........BY DAVY JONE'S BEARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Is this the rum your talking about?" Daring asked.

Jack looked at the bottle, it looked exactly like his!

"Yes!" Jack replied.

"You want some?" Daring asked, waving the bottle left and right.

Jack shook his head obediently.

"All right," Daring said, smiling.

She grabbed the artifact and poured some rum in there.

"Drink some of it," Darin said, giving Jack the bottle.

Jack started tearing up.

"Thank you. So much!" Jack said, smiling.

"No prob," Daring said, drinking from her artifact cup.

Jack drank it and felt his drunkenness coming back in full strength.

"Ahhhh yes!" Jack said.

"Why don't you stay around for a while Jack? I don't mind," Daring said.

"Well......all right. If you say so!" Jack said.

He drank some more.

"Everything gets better when Rum is involved!" Jack said.

He sat on his butt and felt tired.

"All right. I think it's nappy time," Jack said.

He fell asleep and saw Daring smile.

That's the last thing he saw.

The next thing he finds himself in is an ocean.

He widened hie eyes surprisingly.

"AN OCEAN!?!!?!??!" Jack yelled out.

He was in the middle of nowhere in an ocean of some lake.

He looked at his empty hands and noticed his hat was missing. As well as his bottle!

"GOD DAMMIT! WHERE IS MY BOTTLE OF RUM!!?!?!?!" Jack yelled, annoyed.

He may have been worried about losing that black pearl ship bottle too, but he really wants his rum back.

He sighed.

"I guess I'm going to have to find Daring know to get my stuff back," Jack said, rolling his eyes.

"Cause that's what everyone is expecting," Jack said.

He swam back to shore, got his sword ready which thankfully Daring didn't take, and got ready for another adventure.

"I always wonder, Why does this always have to happen to me?" Jack asked himself.

He shrugged his shoulders.

"Meh, it happens. Anyways! ONWARD TO THE FOREST! AGAIN!" Jack said.

He started marching back into the forest, for another annoyance of searching for rum......and his ship of course.

Adventuring, finding Daring do, Why is the rum ALWAYS gone?

Jack Sparrow moved his hair out of the way so he could see better. He forgot how long his hair was and remembered how much he liked it. He also remembered being able to hide a bottle of rum in his hair at some point, but it broke the moment he started moving of course.

"WHY!?!?!?!?!? WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE RUM!!?!??!?!?!?!"

He remembered that day. He made a grave for that rum. He Named it Gibbs. Gibbs the bottle of Rum. Oh how Jack knew it well. He sniffs the more he thinks about it.

Anyways, back on Jack's adventure to getting his hat back. Again, and to find his bottle. Again. The Black Pearl bottle of course.

He started getting lost in the forest and didn't even knew if it was the same one from before.

"All right. Which way should I go again?" Jack asked himself, scratching his hair confusingly.

"If only I had a bottle of rum, This could be easier for me," Jack said, sighing sadly.

Jack went through the forest some more and started feeling his drunkenness leave him.

"Soon, I'll be Sober. Being sober is not part of the plan Jack!" Jack Told himself.

Jack Sparrow went through the forest quicker and couldn't believe what he found.

He found the house that belonged to.........Who again?

Indiana Jones? No, Daring Do.

"Oh. Well, It's kinda hard to tell the difference what with both of them having a whip, adventures, and jackets," Jack said, face-palming at how ironic and dumb it was.

He went up to the door and knocked, like a pirate.

"Who is it?!?!??!!?" Daring yelled.

"Uh.......It's somepony that's lost in the woods! Can you help me?" Jack said, disguising his voice as best as he could.

"On my way!" Daring said.

He heard hoof steps and Jack waited by the side of the door. Now he wasn't going to kill her, He just wanted to get his stuff back that's all, and he also wanted to get his bottle back to. The Black Pearl bottle.

The door opened and Jack ran in.

"Oh hey Jack!" Daring said.

"Oh hey," Jack replied.

"So you aced my test and found my house again it seems!" Daring said.

Jack sighed.

"I've been through enough in my life. Can I have my things back?" Jack asked nicely.

"Of course!" Daring said.

"That counts for my bottle of rum and hat as well," Jack added.

"Yep!" Daring replied.

She went to go grab Jack's hat and everything.

Then she came back with it and blushed embarrassingly.

"I'm very sorry about that. I just didn't know if you told the truth about you being a pirate when you were drunk. Now that I know.......don't you need a crew?" Daring said.

"Yes I do," Jack replied, putting his hat back on and drinking his rum.

Drunkenness level increasing..........100%. Full-on retard. Jack's thought said.

Jack snickered.

"So......are you gonna find one?" Daring asked, shyly.

Jack shook his head.

"Of course I am! ......So bye," Jack said.

He left, with his usual strut and went onto another adventure.

Daring sighed.

"I hope I'll find him again....at some point," Daring said.

Jack smiled.

"I am happy to have my rum back!" Jack said.

He took a drink........just to find his bottle empty. Yet again.

Jack looked at the bottle, and blinked.

He dropped it on the ground.

"Why. Is. It. ALWAYS! THE! RUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Jack yelled with passion.

To be continued.

Prologue: Jack Sparrow goes on an adventure and meets Ponies

A man. Men are the greatest and dominant species in the universe. But there has been a time of when Man are completely strange and not normal. One of them people who is not normal is a pirate.

A pirate named Jack Sparrow.

He wore his old hat and always drank Rum, and since he did drink most of the time he was always drunk.

He always had a drunk grin on his face when he was talking for he always had the time of his life when being a pirate. Jack Sparrow at one time flew into a Kraken's mouth and was considered dead. But he wasn't and Jack Sparrow has done many interesting things that no other mortal can.

He's fought the Green Dutchman or as people liked to call him Davy Jones, Black Beard the infamous pirate, his old pal Hector Barbossa, and a new pal that helped him at most times Will Turner and he's fought him as well.

He's done it all. But what he hasn't done yet is fix his ship. The Black Pearl. Which was cursed and made in a small ship that it could fit in a bottle.

Jack always had to look at the ship and see that annoying monkey swinging around having fun on it.

He's always made sure that this bottle stayed by him and was never away from his sights. If someone touched it, he would either break their arm, or just run. Cause that's what Jack does. Gibbs, his oldest pal and the one that went through it all with him. Finally decided to call it quits and leave him. When he left, Jack was all by himself on adventures and boat travels alike.

He may have finally be alone, but Gibbs gave him a good-bye gift.

Which was a treasure map that was supposed to lead to some treasure that had the power to fix his Black Pearl and make it back to normal.

Jack thanked his old friend, and went onto his old boat and started rowing. After he reached his destination, Jack Sparrow waved off some sweat and drinked some of his rum.

He staggered a little to the left and right when he got up from his boat.

"All right. Here it is, The island that this map lead me to," Jack said, drunk on rum.

He kept staggering but always found a way to fix his position and never fall down.

He looked at his map and saw the red x that was on the map. He adjusted his hat, and kept going.

He brought out his compass, the old thing. He looked at it and it was pointing at his ship, signifying that he should leave.

"Now why would I leave when I am finally going to get my ship back?" Jack asked.

He had the bottle in his pocket, made sure to not fall out and break.

He made sure that he had his sword with him and his pouches for anything he finds along the way. When he felt his sword, he took it out and cut some leaves out of the way.

He turned around to see his ship floating in the ocean.

"Better make sure I remember that this is where my ship's been last, But I probably won't," Jack said, grinning.

"Anyways. ONWARD!" Jack said, walking very drunk like.

He went through a forest, and found some old ruins.

"This must be where it is," Jack exclaimed.

He used his machete to cut the stumps and sticks that were in his way. Then, he climbed up the stairs and opened the old looking door.

When he opened it, he found that there was a lot of booby traps that he was going to need to go through.

Jack sighed.

"Well....here we go," Jack said.

He breathed in and out.

Then he screamed and flailed his arms wildly while screaming.

He dodged left and right and almost got nicked by a spear.

Then, when he was done he looked behind him and was surprised.

"Huh. That was easier then expected," Jack said.

Jack walked up to the crown that was on the podium.

"The heck is this?" Jack asked.

He looked at it and noticed that this crown had some strange jewel on it. It was purple colored and it looked very weird.

He touched it to get it out, But instead of getting it out, the crown was pulling him in.

"What!?!?!??!" Jack said, freaking out.

He noticed that the crown was pulling him in, and that it was bringing him somewhere he knew nothing about.

He screamed, and disappeared into the crown.

When the crown fell on the floor, it said something on the back.

Warning! Do not touch! If so, you will be teleported somewhere that ain't your world! That's your only warning! It said.

If Jack read it, that would've been something a normal person would do. Jack Sparrow is a pirate, he ain't no normal guy.

Besides, he's a pirate! He doesn't listen to no rules.

Anyways, back to Jack.

Jack Sparrow was now screaming and falling in some kind of black void. He noticed that on the way down, that there was some kind of door.

When the door opened, he was now in the sky.

He was now flailing his arms, and screaming.

He made sure that the bottle was still intact, thankfully it was.

His whole body span and turned, and when he was by a tree. He grabbed the arm of the tree and got some leverage.

Thanks to the leverage he got, instead of falling on his face. He got to land on his ass instead.

He groaned.

"That kinda hurt right there," Jack said.

He got up and looked around.

"All right. What crazy thing Have I done this time?" Jack asked.

His Black Pearl was cursed and he was a skeleton, He faced Davy Jones for his world, He defeated Barbossa again for his ship, and went against BlackBeard and almost died at least 4 times throughout his adventures.

He looked around and tried to see what he got himself into this time.

"Hello!" A voice said.

Jack then froze. That sounded like a girl's voice. Confused beyond belief, he turned around and found civilization.

Just not the civilization he was expecting.

There was old looking houses with hay roofs, some strange houses that didn't look normal, and Jack also saw.........ponies?

"Hey! Down here!" that voice said again.

Jack looked down, and saw a purple pony smiling at him.

"My crown finally brought the first human here to Equestria!" It squealed.

"I can't wait to show the Princess this amazing discovery!" It said.

"Hi! My name is Twilight Sparkle! And your name is?" Twilight asked.

Jack blinked.

"Must be the rum," Jack theorized.

He's been through crazy things, but colorful talking ponies? Yeah, that's the rum. There is no way this is real.

"It's not the rum! Whatever that is, this is real life!" Twilight said.

"Oh really? Prove it," Jack challenged.

He felt weightless, and was slammed on the ground. HARD.

"Ow! What was that for?" Jack asked, confused in pain.

"That hurt!"

"You felt pain! Which means this is real! So you are not hallucinating and are in a real world!" Twilight said, with a very strange crazy look in her eyes.

"Um....all right," Jack said, not wanting to make the little pony any mad then it already is.

Twilight smiled.

"Come with me! Ohhhhh!!!!!!!! There is so much to show you!" Twilight said.

She grabbed Jack's hand with her hoof, which should've been scientifically impossible.

But thanks to Jack's rum, All that he could really say is.

"This is not what I was expecting. Not. One Bit, " Jack said, surprised.

"Also......where is my rum?" Jack asked.

To be continued.