Sonata Wants a Glass of Malk

by The Lunar Rebel

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Equestria Girls, Crossover, Random, Dazzlings, Dark, Sonata Dusk
Length: 1714

What's so hard for Sonata to say 'milk' the correct way? Aria doesn't seem to be much better either.

What is supposed to be a normal breakfast for Sonata and her sisters, escalates into a debate that turns a bit violent over a slight mispronunciation of a dairy beverage.

Inspired and Based off the viral 2009 YouTube skit, Malk, by juliansmith87
Cover Image Uploaded to derpiboo.ru by: Markiz93
Proofread and Edited by: Izanagi

Published 2015-04-05 06:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-05 06:30:01 UTC

It's Milk; Not Malk!

    Sonata Dusk roused herself from a wonderful night’s rest and dreams of fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows, tacos that sing acapella, strawberry avalanches, and basically any other whimsical fantasy that existed in her childlike mind. These are the kind of things that Sonata even daydreamed about before being pulled back into the real world either by a nudge to the shoulder from Aria, or a loud shout from Adagio.

Unbeknownst to both of them, this was Sonata’s way of forgetting the troubles of not having magic and immortality anymore. At least one thing's for certain--all three of the former Sirens have made peace with their rival band, the Rainbooms, who were responsible for taking away their singing voices.

After a session of yawning and stretching her arms and legs out, Sonata slipped a pair of her favorite purple bunny-themed slippers before making her way to the bathroom. Each time she brought a foot down on the floor, the fuzzy plum ears would pop up before going down to cover the eyes when her foot was brought back up. This was definitely the first thing that entertained her when she first got out of bed.

Once she was in the bathroom, Sonata took a welcoming and morning invigorating shower while trying to at least make her now normal singing voice sound better. So far, she hasn’t had much luck at all, but she’s been taking vocal lessons from Fluttershy that seem to be working. Day by day, Sonata’s voice made a slight improvement to its pitch and tone--but the pace it was going at made her progress barely noticeable.

For now, Sonata mostly whistled a tune instead since it didn’t need as much vocal discipline.

With her shower done, Sonata slipped back on her slippers and then wrapped herself into a nice and cozy bathrobe that nearly matched her dark blue hair highlights. She then walked over to the mirror to blow-dry her hair before proceeding to brush her teeth then going downstairs to have breakfast.

Aria alway told her, If you don’t brush, the Cavity Monster will eat all your teeth out. Then you won't be able to sing anymore--not like I care anyway.” This was her way of motivating Sonata to take better care of herself, but also that she got a bit of a pleasure out of scaring the ditzy ex-Siren.

Apparently, when all three of the Dazzlings had their hippocampus forms back in Equestria, they really didn’t have to worry about personal hygiene since they were practically bathing their entire seemingly-immortal lives.

With both morning bathing routines finished, Sonata headed downstairs and into the kitchen where both Adagio and Aria already were already in the middle of having their own breakfast. Adagio was currently poking through the inside of the fridge while Aria slowly  paced herself at eating her pancakes.

“You guys started eating without me?” Sonata pouted while looking a bit hurt and irritated.

“Hey. Both me and Adagio were up before you were, and we were already starving,” Aria bluntly stated while giving her shoulders a slight shrug. Her eyes didn’t move from her plate either. “First come, first serve.”

“Either one of you could’ve at least gave me some kind of a wake up call,” Sonata huffed while crossing her arms. “It can’t be that hard.”

“No, but I highly doubt a little nudge would be enough to make you stir,” Aria replied while maintaining her signature frown and expressionless tone. But then, a small mischievous grin and brow formed on her face. She then turned her head to finally make eye-contact with Sonata.

“Of course, I’m sure I can think of a few creative and convenient ways to get you out of bed in mere seconds.”

“Really?” Sonata asked with a gleeful grin and tone, oblivious to Aria’s mean intentment. “That’s possibly the nicest thing you’ve ever done for me since… ever!”

“Yeah. Sure it is,” Aria drawled. Her frown returning. She really expected for Sonata to sow some kind of mistrust, since she basically bullied Sonata for centuries.

“Well now that you’re finally here, what do you want to drink, Sonata?” Adagio asked, still nose-deep in the fridge.

“I’ll have some malk, Dagi,” Sonata replied while gathering the supplies needed to make herself some breakfast tacos.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” Adagio asked again, uncertain if she heard Sonata correctly.

“A glass of malk,” Sonata repeated.

Adagio glanced at Sonata with a confused brow, before going back to looking around in the fridge.

“I don’t think we have any malk, but I can get you some milk.”

“That’s what she just said, Adagio,” Aria stated.

“No she didn’t,” Adagio denied while shaking her head. “She clearly said malk. M.A.L.K. When you put that word in a sentence like that, it sounds like some kind of disease or something.”

Aria chuckled.

“I suppose so. How do you say it then?”

“I say it the way that everyone else in the world ought to say it. Milk. M.I.L.K.”

“Exactly. Like two percent.”

“That’s right, like whole malk,” Sonata added.

“Nononononono. Look. Sonata, say milkshake,” Adagio instructed.

“Why?” Sonata asked.

“Just say it,” Adagio pushed, her tone a bit firmer.

“Okay okay,” Sonata eased. “Milkshake.”

Adagio seemed to relax a bit more now.

“Good. Now say milk,” she said in a now softer tone. She was sure Sonata had it this time.

“Malk.”

Adagio smacked her forehead in frustration and pinched the upper ridge of her nose. She then glanced over to Aria.

“Are you hearing this?” Adagio asked her.

“Yeah, the girl wants a glass of mulk,” Aria replied as if she didn’t have a care. She normally never did obviously.

“Mulk?!” Adagio exasperated, her sanity slipping a bit.

“Give her the mulk, Adagio!” Aria yelled.

“Yeah, Dagi. Pour me, a glass, of malk!!” Sonata nearly screamed.

“What are you screaming at me for?” Adagio demanded.

“Just give her the flippin’ mulk!” Aria ordered.

“You two aren't even saying the same thing!”

“We’re all saying, malk, Dagi!”

“No! Your’re saying malk!” Adagio retorted while pointing a finger at Sonata. She then faced Aria with the same gesture. “And you’re saying…”

“MUUUUULLLLLLLLKKKKKKKKKK,” Aria droned in an annoying matter. Sonata was quick to follow by doing the same with, malk.

Both Aria and Sonata continued doing this while making ridiculous facial expressions and voice pitch changes. They only got to do this for eight or nine seconds before Adagio snapped by pulling a Beretta M9 handgun from her poofy hair.

“SHUT UP! SHUT UP!” she roared while hysterically switching to aim the barrel directly at Sonata and Aria, who just looked at her with pure shock and terror. Luckily, Adagio then turned the gun to the side of her own head. Aria and Sonata then reacted by pulling out their own handguns.

Aria wielded a Ruger, while Sonata had a F9 Herstal.

    “You better put that gun down, Adagio!” Aria warned.

    “Don’t you dare do it!” Sonata added.

    “You guys are going to shoot me at the fact that I’m going to shoot myself? That doesn’t make any sense at all!” Adagio exclaimed. The barrel still resting at the side of her head.

    Aria and Sonata then exchanged a quick look at each other before they followed suit of threatening to shoot themselves with their own guns.

They then began yelling pleading lines at one another:

“Put that gun down, now!”

“Both of you put your guns away! I’m going to kill myself over this!”

“It doesn’t have to be like this, Adagio!”

“You’re like a sister to me! Well...technically you are a sister to me.”

Soon, all the clear enunciated words being exchanged between all three girls soon devolved into a set of incoherent and random noises and screams.

“...and then after that; me, Aria and Sonata all pull the trigger simultaneously.” Adagio explained while displaying the script to Rarity and the rest of the Rainbooms during lunch hour in Canterlot High’s cafeteria.

“No offense at all, but this skit is absolutely horrendous,” Rarity stated while pushing the script back toward Adagio. Aria and Sonata sitting on opposite sides of her body.

“Mr. Doodle would highly disapprove of such a piece, and would surely give all three of you detention for this.”

“That crab apple disapproves of everything,” Aria muttered. “He’s even more grumpier than I am sometimes.”

“Rarity is right ya know,” Applejack said. “The violence that y’all put in here is jus’...Ah don’t know...a bit screwed up.”

“And it doesn’t seem to be that believable at all,” Sunset Shimmer added. “Hardcore maybe, but kind of illogical if you ask me.”

“So you wouldn’t want to draw a weapon when your sanity caves in a bit?” Adagio asked with a bemused frown.

“Uh. No,” was Sunset’s only reply since she didn’t know how to answer that unnerving question properly.

“Well whatever the cause, we’re doing it anyway,” Adagio confirmed. “It’s not like all three of us are not used to getting punished at school.”

“Make that four,” Rainbow Dash stated a bit sheepishly. “At least serving some detention time is a good way to catch up on some homework.”

“Which ya normally don’t do anyway,” Applejack implied, looking unamused.

“Not if it’s brainstorming team play strategies and tactics,” Rainbow argued. “The coach is relying on me to win this school the most victory trophies it’s ever had in years.”

“Which brings me to the fact that every display case in the school is already packed with ‘em,” Applejack stated, making Rainbow emit a frustrated groan.

“Whatever,” Adagio said as she started to get up from her seat, taking her bowl of fresh lettuce with her. “Now if you all will excuse me for a bit, I’m going to fetch more Cool Hwhip for my salad.”

“Whad ya jus’ say?” Applejack asked.

“I’m getting more Cool Hwhip for my salad,” Adagio repeated, looking a bit perturbed that she had to repeat herself over a well elaborated sentence.

“Ya mean, Cool Whip?” Applejack corrected.

“Yeah, Cool Hwhip,” Adagio confirmed.

“Cool Whip,” Applejack corrected again.

“Cool Hwhip,” Adagio retorted.

“Cool Whip.”

“Cool Hwhip.”

“Cool Whip!”

“Cool Hwhip!”

“...”

Author’s Note:

Once again, I was completely sober when this story idea came to me:scootangel:.