Prince Russcorn's Friendship Force

by Alicorn Prince Russcorn

Mission 6 - Fight Club

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I knew that PvP was utterly broken and involved a lot of cheaters, but it had gotten worse since the Marvel universe was overwhelmed. The power gaps between players in PvP were even larger than before. So large that every match ended in 10 seconds flat.

"Well that's new", said Twilight. "Something must be up with those Agents in PvP. I've read reports of them being able to beat guys like The Hulk with a single touch. I'll do my Solid Snake stuff to look for data on these cheaters and report it back to you, Russcorn." With this, she put on her Solid Snake outfit and went off to find data on the cheaters, dodging searchlights by grabbing walls, rolling, and hiding behind crates and trash cans.

I had the feeling that one of the invaders had somehow made PvP even worse. So I decided to make it fun. Deadpool began hacking away at the PvP cheaters, nerfing them to at least give me a chance. When I brought Dr. Doom with me as usual, Fluttershy was willing to work with him unlike Marvel's heroes. She wrestled cheating Agents, atttacked them with mice, yelled at the Agents to love her, and gave them her fatal Stare. Doom and I cast spells as usual to mow down the cheaters, and I quickly found myself yelling "Avada Kedavra" at them to one-shot them with green lasers. Especially whenever Rescue showed up. Fights involving her tended to go on...*in Pinkie Pie's voice* FOREVER!

I dodged attacks by doing various aerial tricks, but was surprised when Flutters got to dodge a lot of stuff as well. She would cower out of the way of any attack. There wasn't even a scratch on either of us. Doom took most of the damage for us, only to be healed when he and I stole our enemies' essence. I even got to turn an Agent Malfoy into a white ferret and bounce him around. Then I threw him through the air, his legs flailing around uselessly.

After what seemed like an eternity of PvP floor-wiping, Twilight teleported in front of me and showed me some PvP data she recovered: Dark magic-imbued steroids. I read a label on one pack and it said: "Taking these steroids will make you so over-OP that you will utterly destroy any opponent in PvP. Property of Tylerian Durden. WARNING: using these may cause others negative perception toward PvP."

That explains why PvP often had matches where one side's stats greatly exceeded the others, making it unwinnable regardless of team choice. And I knew who this Tylerian Durden was. This criminal Alienizer from Dekaranger owned an illegal fight club and gave its members illegal steroids. All he cared about was money.

As Twilight and I teleported out of the PvP area, Deadpool had it closed for maintenance. "Attention all Agents! PvP is closed for maintenance, as lots of Agents have been cheating with magical steroids! Thus I had to Nerf everypony there. It was really an illegal fight club, and now Prince Russcorn, developer of My Little Pony Alliance and Mega Man: Robot Master Alliance is going after its owner!"

Twilight, Fluttershy, and I then met Durden in a warehouse full of steroids, which we easily destroyed to prevent any further cheating. He looked like a horned blue raptor in a business suit. Just like in the show, he was approved for delete. He ran away, sending a thug pumped full of steroids after me and Twilight. The thug charged at us, but we rolled aside and let him crash into some barrels. Twilight shot a laser beam at him, but nothing happened. As he charged again and we dodged him again, he got his head stuck in a thick wall. We then magically fished out the steroids from his body before literally kicking his flank further through the wall. To prevent these dark magic steroids from consuming us as well, we released them through two magic beams. They connected, forming a Priori Incantatem which exploded. We were then able to shoot him down through the wall as well as others that showed up through that hole we left. All of them exploded after that.

Meanwhile, Fluttershy wrestled Durden like she did the bear in Lesson Zero. Once she had Durden pinned, Twilight and I teleported up to him and prepared our deletion spell. Flutters gave him her fatally cute look as soon as our spell hit him, and we jumped away from him before he exploded.

The three of us ponies exclaimed, "Got you! With this, case complete!"

After PvP reopened a week later, it became a much fairer experience. There were no more unfair power gaps, as no one was using illegal steroids anymore.

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