The Road Lonesome

Anon kicked a stone as he walked down the road. He wanted to pull a joke over on the hospital by covering himself in ketchup and getting a pony to play dead so he could run in with them and himself covered in ketchup and shout something like.

"Help this pony has been shot!" Or "Quick i have an assault victim here they need help stat!"

He was always a joker of sorts back on Earth. A comedian in ways, but he was never funny enough. Couldn't make a career of it, nearly no one could. Except a guy called Jim Wash, the real funny bugger of the world.

Anon sighed and looked around, there was a chill wind accompanied to the morning. It wasn't much long after all the ponies woke up and got to where they were going. It was funny in a way, no matter what he was always like this.

Moping and wishing he was back on Earth, out on the beat going to four fifteens and two elevens. Hell, if he was still a cop he'd go to bloody four eighty-sevens. Hell he'd settle for anything if he was back on earth.

Funny thing was the way he got here was through a convenience store on the corner of fifth avenue.

He'd just walked into the store after a four eighty eight and a five ninety four was called in. It was the same everyday crap, nothing special just a simple few minutes drive there from the station, stop for coffee taking another minute to stop and wait for the coffee. Then walk back to the car and drive to the address.

He got out and quickly walked to the door of the little shop. Hell it was more a thrift shop than convenience store. He had his Ipod Shuffle with him when he was on the beat so he could listen to music when he was going to a crime scene.

His cop partner McKenzie waited napping in the backseat of the patrol car, he'd come in if anything actually went down. Anon opened the door, a little chime bell rang as the door opened.

As usual the store owner was pissed, had the kid on camera and was just a little over touchy. Anon sipped his coffee as he listened to the short balding man yell about how he always hated teens and was going to ban them from his store.

'Blah Blah Blah, Yakkity Yakkity Yakkitty, Etcetera Etcetera Etcetera' Anon thought, sipping his coffee again.

Someone across the street was in a black SUV with no plates, a rolls royce chugged to a stop next to it and a guy got out of both vehicles. The two walked up to each other, drug deal, big whoop.

Anon didn't pay much attention to the drug cartels around the city. There were so many mass drug deals these days that it didn't matter if he called it in. The guy on the other end of the line would say something snappy like.

"Well then, tell Anon to mind his own business, because we're already on the case." Or "Shut up woman and stop bitching."

All the cops except him and McKenzie were corrupt, McKenzie wasn't a cop. In a sense he wasn't, he was, it was just more like he was just the guy who sat in the passenger seat and had a chat with Anon or the Perp. Any activity relating to large crime organizations Anon and McKenzie reported. It was their job.

The store owner said he managed to catch the little shit and put him in the back room, where there wasn't anything he could hurt himself on or damage. Anon wasn't surprised, some of the people he encountered would do that.

"Okay just go unlock the door, I'll deal with him."

The senile old prick went and unlocked the door after shouting through, 'Cops are here kid,'. It wasn't rare to have that happen. Anon opened the door, sipping his coffee. He walked in to see a fifteen or fourteen year old kid sitting in the corner.

It wasn't a sight that was rare in this neighborhood. There was a lot of kidnappings that the cops responded to. If they weren't payed off you'd get the book thrown at you. They'd dump a whole ton of evidence at your house and make you get in a whole heap more shit than you were in.

But that was only for major crimes such as kidnapping or murder, or drug dealing. Petty theft was just up to the officer.

The kid looked at Anon frightened of what trouble he was in. Anon sighed and turned around to the shop owner.

"Sir," He began.

"I hope your going to book his little ass."

"I'm not going to..."

"You'd better throw the book at that little shit!"

Anon clenched his fist and almost squeezed his coffee.

"Bitch please, he's just a kid," he snapped.

The shop owner recoiled a little. With an expression of shock, which soon turned to a scowl.

"Your a pig."

"Yeah? And your an old whore who can't catch a break."

"Get the hell outta my store."

"I'm a cop, I'm here for my job."

"Then do it!"

Anon smiled like an ass. Then sipped his coffee loudly to agitate the store owner. The man's eye twitched.

"I'm on my coffee break."

The man twitched, turning redder and redder.

Anon picked is radio off his shoulder. "McKenzie, come in here, meet my friend ol' whitey here."

Soon McKenzie, Mr Coolio came in through the front door, with his shades and mustache. Whenever Anon called him in, it was to stop things from getting real. McKenzie pulled up his belt.

"Yo hoss, this the guy?"

"Mm hmm."

McKenzie then took the old codger aside and explained that neither him nor any other cop in this city gave a shit what was stolen, just the fact he called it in is the reason they were there.

Anon meanwhile went back into the room to talk with the kid. Whom had disappeared magically. He put his coffee down on the ground next to the door and began to look around the room. The window at the top of the wall was open, and it looked wide enough for Anon to just squeeze through it.

The kid on the other hand was a different story. He was probably long gone with the candy bar or fucking porno magazine he'd stolen.

Anon smiled an brushed his hair back. The little bastard had escaped, and so soon after he'd arrived.

Anon then swiveled around and picked up his beverage, and sipped it, McKenzie and the store owner were still talking.

Goddamn could McKenzie talk, he was a brilliant man. Just never expressed it, never showed it. He could plan five thousand moves ahead of the other guy before his heart had even took it's second beat.

McKenzie was a planner, he'd throw a ball and predict it's trajectory, tell you every single thing that was going to happen from the get go and seven different ways to catch it, all as it went up and down.

The man was like a god. He'd taught Anon how to be that good, how to plan everything ahead. But only about three hundred moves or so.

Anon walked down the aisle, slowly looking from item to item. The store was much larger than its first impression. The aisle went on for ages, Anon walked further and further. The aisle's changed to wooden ones about shoulder high.

The lights overhead flickered, there was no windows in this part of the building. If the lights were out it would be pitch black for as long as they were off. Slowly the items of food and other such items turned to books and little statues. Anon walked further as the lights overhead flickered.

Soon he reached the end of the aisles where an assortment of little statues and pieces of furniture were, a few books and the like. He went around to the next aisle.

The lights blacked out and Anon tripped on something he didn't fall so much a stumble. Soon the lights came back on, except more natural. More like sunlight.

He picked up a book and flicked through the pages, he'd dropped his coffee and had a free hand. He payed more attention to the book rather than the room as he walked down the aisle, soon he walked back into the main part of the building.

"Hey bud how much for the book?" he asked, still reading the book intently.

No voice came back in reply. McKenzie must be talking to him outside. Anon looked up and then boom.

There was a light brown colored pony with a bright red mane standing behind the cash register with a name tag that looked like it said 'Greg', it didn't but still.

Anon looked at the freakishly large eyed pony. He then looked back to the book he was reading and closed it.

"Tales of the unknown."

He then put the book under his armpit and walked towards the counter.

"I asked how much for the book bud."

The little thing looked terrified.

"Can you speak?" Anon asked plainly, not expecting a reply.

"Y-y-y-yes?" The little brown pony stuttered.

Anon's jaw dropped and his eyes rolled back in their sockets. He passed out and fell back on the floor then convulsed violently.

And that was pretty much how he got there, nothing special no massive explosion, no aliens, no super powers, no nothing. Just Anon, his clothes and his glasses.

He had his jacket on with his Ipod shuffle and his headphones and speaker, the little one that played almost anything through it as long as he connected it via a cord which he had.

Anon kicked another stone which bounced off the wall and tinked his glasses. Chipping a lens.

"Score!" Anon mumbled.