Twilight stared at the three feuding girls before her, wondering how her life ended up like this.
She had happened upon the argument when she heard her name being mentioned, and soon regretted staying to see what Starlight Glimmer, Trixie, and Sunset Shimmer were talking about.
They were talking about her. Well, more like arguing about something that had to do with her. And she couldn't quite understand why what they were arguing about was such a big deal. She all knew them from different times in her life, they were all her friends, (well, two of them were, at least), and of course, they were all very powerful magic wielders.
So of course she was a little confused when she heard Sunset shout, “You can’t be serious! You didn’t do a single thing to help her!”
Trixie put her hands on her hips. "Of course Trixie did! Trixie helped her see that showing off her magical abilities shouldn't be arrogant!"
"You couldn't possibly have! How could you have taught someone a lesson you haven't even learned yourself?!" Starlight shouted, pointing at her.
"What's that supposed to mean?!" Trixie demanded.
"Please! As much as you brag, I doubt you could do half as much magic as Twilight can!" Starlight pointed an accusing finger at her.
"You're one to talk! All you're good at is promoting communism! How does it feel to watch your followers turn against you?" Sunset barked. "And besides, unlike you two, I was also a student of Princess Celestia's!"
"Yes, and look how well that turned out for you!" Starlight responded, gesturing towards the younger girl.
Suddenly Twilight realized this might be less about her, and more about insulting each other. In fact, she didn't know how long she had been standing there watching them, but she knew it was a significant amount of time because her legs were starting to hurt. But for some reason she couldn't turn away. To be honest, this was kind of interesting and she wanted to see how things played out. (Even though she knew she would have to step in soon) She didn't know if they were even aware of her presence at all.
"That may be so, but Trixie was the original counterpart!" Trixie proclaimed, pointing a finger in the air.
"Your name isn't even similar to ours!" Sunset protested.
"Well at least we're canon! How does it feel to know that Flash Sentry is a more canon character than you are?!" Starlight pointed out.
Sunset seemed to be taken aback by that. “W-Well at least people ship me more with her than they do him!” She said defensively.
Twilight cocked her head. What on earth was that all about?
“I don’t even know why we’re still arguing, it’s pretty clear who the real winner is,” Trixie gloated with a flip of her hair.
“Yeah, me,” Sunset said, pointing to herself.
“No, me,” Starlight said, doing the same.
Both girls shot each other an angry glare.
Twilight was seeing that this was going downhill fast and that if she didn’t say anything, things were going to get very violent very fast. “Er, girls, if I may be so kind to cut in,” She started, finally walking over to them and effectively temporarily distracting them from each other. “None of you win. Because I’m not some prize to be won. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. Is this what you guys think of me? As something to use to one up each other? Honestly! How heartless can you be? I’ve given you three nothing but friendship and this is how you repay me?”
“I’m not your friend,” Starlight said curtly. “To be honest, if you weren’t so cute I’d hate you completely,”
“Er, thanks?” Twilight responded, a bit confused. She didn’t know whether or not to be flattered or offended. “Anyway, look, obviously you all have some type of weird hate crush on me and sitting here arguing about it isn’t going to change anything.”
“For the record, I don’t hate you, Twilight,” Sunset insisted. “I welcomed your friendship with open arms, unlike these two,” She shot a glare at Trixie and then stuck her tongue out at Starlight. “Some girls just know the true power of the magic of friendship.”
Twilight put a hand on Sunset’s shoulder. “No one likes an ass-kisser, Sunny,” She said, patting it. “Now, as I was saying-”
“Why don’t we let Sparkle decide who’s the better counterpart?” Trixie proposed.
“Yes! Let’s let Twilight decide!” Starlight agreed. “And then we can decide once and for all who truly is the better half!”
Twilight was absolutely sure now that she regretted ever joining into this conversation. She sighed heavily. “If I put my input into this stupid argument, will you three promise to never argue about this again so long as you all shall live?”
“Yes!” Sunset said.
“Agreed!” Trixie nodded.
“Pretty much,” Starlight shrugged.
Twilight sighed again. “Alright fine.” She cleared her throat. “The perfect counterpart for me is...” She paused, looking at the three expectant faces in front of her. She frowned. “None of you. For starters, Starlight, I don’t like you. You’re rude, mean, and you interrupted me during my speech!”
She then pointed at Trixie, then at Sunset. “And don’t get me started on you two. Not only did you endanger everyone’s lives around you without a care in the world to boost your own ego, both of you nearly got me killed!” She glared at Trixie. “Twice!”
“Hey!” Trixie said, folding her arms. “To be fair the first time wasn’t my fault!”
Sunset folded her own arms, but angrily. “Okay so I nearly killed you, the girls, and enslaved the entire student body of Canterlot High so that I could use my teenage army to take over Equestria. Who cares?! It shouldn’t matter now that I’m redeemed! My past is not today and all that!” She said, waving her hand as if dismissing the subject.
Twilight smacked her forehead. “Look, obviously you’re all supposed to be what would have happened if I had become arrogant, or lost my way, or a bitch-”
“Hey!” Starlight shouted.
“But the point is, I can’t even fathom why you could possibly think I would decide between the three of you like you all have done nothing wrong. This whole thing was stupid, pointless and a waste of time." Twilight sighed. "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got better things to do." And with that she turned on her heel and left.
Author's Note
I don't....I don't know?? I wrote this after watching the premiere again while hyped up on easter candy so this might have been funny to me then and possibly isn't now. So if this wasn't your cup of tea I don't blame you.
