VII - Celestia's Romance Issues

"SunLight... I've been alone for so long." Celestia paused looking back out at Canterlot below. "I've been watching over Equestria for longer than I'd like to say. I've far outlived any of my friends and previous love interests... I looked for so long to find a solution." She had sighed softly her wings unfolding from her sides and resting against the floor. Her previous regal appearance shifted to one of suffering and pain. "I now know of one... but the odds of it happening are phenomenally low... I'm sure that Gallant could have given me at least some happiness at one point... but, I couldn't bare the pain of losing another pony I've come to love again."

I can't imagine the pain she must feel. My troubles with my family, most notably my father, are so inconsequential when looking from Celestia's view. She's was completely alone for a thousand years... without family, and true friends to support her. She's finally got her sister back but that only lightens the load a small amount. It isn't what she's been wanting for so long. She's been wanting a true companion, somepony she can live with and love for as long as she lives.

"I see the cogs in your mind beginning to spin SunLight..." I shake my head and nod refocusing myself to listen to her. "It's alright... It's a heavy thing to understand. I lived through millennia it's hard to pinpoint just how long I've lived." That's not at all what I was thinking but, I suppose it wasn't too far off now that she said it. Loneliness, for that long isn't healthy.

"Celestia, I know that I said I'd listen... but may I tell you what I've been thinking?" Celestia nods pulling her wings off the floor giving me her full attention. "To put it as simply as I can, you've been alone for so long that you want nothing more than to experience love and the same things ponies do everyday outside the walls of the castle. Live life day to day with friends, family, and a special somepony that loves you for you." Celestia again nods a pain filled forced smile appears on her face as I continue, "It's something every individual in this world deserves. Yet, you've been denied this basic need in life. Not only that, it has spanned countless lifetimes. Then anypony you do connect with, however small, you are forced to watch them wither away in the blind of an eye. I can't begin to understand how crushingly painful that feels but, for the sake of my new friend, I'm going to damn well try. I'd like to think that I know quite a bit about pain, I see differently now, but... I plan on trying to be here for you as your friend and guard for as long as I can. However long that may be I promise that I'll be there when you need me no matter what it will cost me. You have the right to love and be happy just as much as everypony out there." I say pointing my hoof out the window she was looking out earlier.

I made her smile, not one of those usual Celestia smiles either. It felt much different looking at it. "SunLight, thank you for your kind words and your promise. I pray that you will keep it. It has been a long time since I've had even a bit of solace in another other than my sister or Twilight Sparkle." The smile that she's wearing now seems to be more genuine than the others that I've seen, however it's hard to tell. I didn't see many smiles when I grew up, it wasn't a bright and cheery place where smiles where used for luring you in to stupid things and nearly all of them were fake. Sure Celesita had thousands of years practice but it's not hard to spot a fake smile. This one, was by far the realest smile I've ever seen.

"Pardon me, princess?" Both Celestia and I turned our heads to a maid who just exited a room into the hall where we were conversing. "I'll pretend I didn't hear anything but I really must start dusting and wax the floors in this hall."

"Y-Yes of course, I apologize for us being in the way of your duties. Sunlight lets be off to my room. I'd very much like to continue our conversation, in private." The way Celestia said that, it could have been worded much better. The moment she'd realized it sounded much different than she said it was too late for her to fix it.

I had to think of something and quick, "Of course, Princess as your guard it is important for me to take note that this isn't the best place to have a personal conversation. I'm sorry." I looked to the maid who had all been ready to report a scandal by the look on her face seemed to relax and go back to dusting.

Celestia's eyes met mine for a moment as if she had something to say but she stayed silent and head off in the direction of her room. I followed a few paces behind giving her some space while we walk in silence.

After we were behind Celestia's room doors however was when it was all let out. She was sitting on her bed with a clear look of embarrassment. "SunLight, thank you. You just saved us from a possible scandal. I can't believe I said that so inappropriately."

"You mean saying that you'd and I quote, 'I'd very much like to continue our conversation, in private.'"I made sure to put the same slow emphasis. "After saying, 'Let's be off to my room.' Yeah, not the best choice in wording there Celestia nor the correct use of..." I then stopped talking and actually thought about what I just said. Something in what I just said didn't add up. That and how Celesita was acting, along with what I had said in the hallway...

"SunLight," I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at her sitting there. "I want to reiterate something I said earlier, but please make sure you remember that I will never forget what you've promised me. I want you to keep this promise you've made me to be here when I need you but more than that, I want you to be here even if I think I don't need you to be." I nodded to her not needing to say a word. "Although what was the time that I told you to be on my balcony tomorrow?"

"Six A.M. sharp, and if I recall you wanted me to think on the events of my first day and tell you the lesson I learned." I responded without really thinking too hard about it. "Although, I think I have the answer now. My actions and words are held in high regard. Every little mistake or misspoken word can and will reflect on you. You will face the consequences not me. While I may be reprimanded and removed from the guard you'd face political back-lash. What kind of guard would I be if I left you to face that alone?"

"Very well SunLight, while your answer was far more detailed than I expected it seems you got the other aspect of your duties down quite well. You were listening very intently when Gallant asked to court me this morning." Shes states giving me a side glance. "You weren't worried were you? I would never accept such a proposal especially since he froze up when I asked him if he was sure after the additional information... Actually SunLight, I'd like your opinion of what happened with Gallant and what you would have done instead."

Wait what? Where did this come from? Why did it matter what I thought and what I would have done different? However I should answer her, even if it makes me a little suspicious of her exact intent. "well for starters, i'd ditch the suit. I understand that most ponies find it classy but for me? I've never had the need for a suit other than a suit of armor. Plus in my honest opinion if your going to profess your feelings you should go as you would to a social gathering with friends. It shows them who you are and what they'll see mostly every day, instead of renting a tux expecting it to be a success." Celestia nodded listening rather intently from what I could gather from her ears being completely directed at me.

"Second, I'd ask privately. It's a personal matter no way am I going to try to involve countless other ponies to try and pressure you into saying yes. Back at home a lot of guys where I went to school told me that's how they got their girlfriends to say yes. They'd ask them during lunch or even in the hall with a bunch of other students or even teachers around so they'd get pressured by popularity. It has to be a one-on-one. That way both sides no matter what the outcome can keep their integrity and dignity in public or even so far as to say there wont be any humiliation if they happen to say no." I say standing up from where I was sitting on the floor and paced around a bit recalling a bit more of the conversation that Gallant had with Celestia.

"Although, where I think he messed up aside from those to things was saying that and I quote, 'Speak his heart.' Anypony who starts with that makes it clear he's professing his love. The key word there is love. The fact is I don't think he really did, the hesitation he showed and the pauses when he was speaking." At this point I was done pacing and looked at Celestia. "My mother told me something really important when I actually asked her what love is... She told me that in order to love somepony, you have to hold every single bit of the pony in your heart, cherish every moment spent with them, even if it's the most painful thing in the world. No matter what you see inside them, even if you see the deepest darkest corners of their heart, and you can accept them and care for them anyway. That is love." I slightly chuckled. "My mom is a love guru now that I'm thinking about it and I'm old enough to understand what she was telling me."

"You were very lucky to have a mother that was so wise," Celestia said laying herself back resting her head on her pillow. Her horn lighting up removing her tiara and placing it on the bedside table. "I'd like to meet her. She sounds like a lovely and kind pony. Although when it comes to wisdom, the more they have, the more pain and hardship they've come to endure." Celestia lets out a soft sigh. "SunLight you are dismissed. Please go out and enjoy the rest of the day and evening off."

I stood there for a few moments, only to nod and start towards the door. "Celestia, should you need me I'll be in the gardens. Send somepony for me or just call out the balcony I'll not be too far away." I closed the door behind me after that and sat down with a sigh laying my back against the door.

Who knew Celestia had love problems? I mean sure she's been alive for a long time, and I bet she's had multiple suitors before I was even born but who'd have thought she'd ask me what I'd have done in Gallants situation. That's when it hit me, was Celestia just, hitting on me?

Author's Note

Oof

I forgot how good typing up this stuff feels! I'll be sure to have much more coming soon but don't hold me to it work keeps me pretty busy speaking of I had better start getting ready for that. Till next time.

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