To Lose it Back
Twilight sat at her desk, the dusk light flowing through the window. Her ears were flat against her head, and her eyes were puffy from her sobs. She had lost the only one she had loved, and she had pushed her away. She told her that she didn't love her. That was all wrong though, she loved her more than anything. She was the only one who had ever made her feel whole, no matter how silly or immature she could act at times. Pinkie had come to her with confidence, and she confessed to Twilight her undying love. She probed her mind of the events of the hours before, trying to figure out why she did what she did, and where she went wrong.
'Uhm, Twi? I have something that I really, really, really need to tell you, but I'm not sure I know how to do it or even where to begin really but all I know is that I really need to tell you!'
Pinkie stood in the doorway to Twilight's home, her eyes filled with nervousness. Her she couldn't help but rub the back of her neck, not knowing how Twilight would take what she would say next. She could only hope she gave the same back to her.
'Twilight, I love you.'
Twilight stopped dead in her tracks, the books she was levitating to the uppermost shelves of the library crashing to the floor. She turned to look at her pink friend who was staring onto her very soul with her baby blue eyes. Pinkie looked over her with worry, she didn't know if she felt the same way about her, but she knew that it was time she confessed her emotions to her.
'You don't mean that as you love me as a friend, do you Pinkie?' Twilight asked her, her voice a soft melodic tone.
'No, I'm so sorry Twi! I just had to tell you and I wasn't sure how you would react but I just new I had to tell you and you don't even know how scared I was when I told you! Its just that you've always meant a lot to me, but I would like to see you as more than just a friend. But if you don't want that I get that too I can still be a good friend even though this just happened, just please take some time to think this over.' She sat back onto her haunches, her mind reeling at that fact that she had just made a complete fool of herself in front of the mare she loved. She was actually using logic, and it felt so very strange to use it.
'Well... I, uhm... Pinkie, I... I'm not sure what to say. I want to say I love you too, but I'm not sure how I feel about this and you, and I don't want to hurt you by saying it and not really meaning it.' She spoke, but soon regretted the words that she spoke. They had been more brash and blunt than what she had originally meant to say.
Pinkies eyes began to tear up, her mane went flat, and her mouth formed a disturbing frown on the normally giddy pony. 'I'm sorry Twilight... I didn't know... I'm sorry I said I loved you, I just wanted to let you know.' She disappeared in a flash of pink, going somewhere else where her sobs could not be heard by any of her friends. After all, all she wanted was for them to smile.
Pinkie eventually came to a stop far out of reach of anypony, and that was exactly what she had wanted. She just wanted to be alone, and she just wanted to think over what Twilight had said.
'I don't think she said that she loves me back, but she also didn't say she didn't love me,' she mumbled audibly. 'But she also had said that she didn't know what she felt, so that could also mean that I still have a chance!' She smiled, her poofy cotton-candy mane bouncing back to life.
She continued to trot a bit farther down the road to a cliff where she could look over Ponyville and just sit and think. The sky started to turn various hues of orange and yellow, the magnificent sunset slowly falling behind the horizon, leaving the land of Equestria in the dark.
'Only if you were here to see that, Twilight.'
Pinkie then laid down on the grass near the edge of the cliff side where she had a view of Ponyville. She rested her head on her hooves, closing her eyes and smiling at the thought of having Twilight as her own.
'I love you...'
Twilight knew what she had done wrong now. It was all so clear. She had let the one she cared for more than anything leave her most likely thinking she didn't feel the same way about her. She knew she was feeding Pinkie a lie when she said it, but why didn't she stop herself? What held her back that she just couldn't pass?
Fear.
She feared losing her, even though Pinkie admitted to her love first. She feared that even if things did work out between them, if they fell apart that she would lose her forever. She feared the unknown. She feared love.
She looked through one of the solitary Library windows, out towards the night sky and the moon. The night always fascinated Twilight, and she had always wanted to learn more about it. The stars, the moon, how it all works, everything! And even the chance to study strange things in the night sky gave her a glimpse of happiness to learn something that was hopefully new. There was something off in the sky, but she just couldn't place what it was. She scanned the sky, and that's when it drew her attention. It wasn't in the sky, but it was on a cliff. And even stranger, it seemed to be a pinkish colored hue, and that was the best that she could tell from the light conditions.
She took a small pair of binoculars out of a nearby drawer, raising them to her eyes. She had expected to see something strange and out of the ordinary, but she had not at all expected to see Pinkie. She looked beautiful to Twilight with her cotton-candy mane slightly bouncing in the breeze. She was majestic. It was almost as if she was made to lay in that position.
She kept staring at the sleeping pony, a smile creeping its way onto her face. She wished upon the starts that she would get a chance to help her, something to make her realize that she did in fact, love her back. She continues to stare through the window at the young pink pony that lay on the cliff. She noticed that Pinkie was starting to stir, and she rose the binoculars to her eyes once again. The pony that was once sleeping soundly, now seemed to be kept up by something. Her eyes stayed focused on the pony, waiting to see any sign of what was causing Pinkie to stay awake when she shuddered. She must be cold, Twilight thought. She must be cold!
Twilight ran upstairs to her bedroom at a full gallop, grabbing her favorite blanket and pillow. She was gone before Spike even had the chance to ask what she was doing. She ran down the road, searching for where Pinkie may have gone off to reach the cliff. On the edge of the road, there was eventually a small path that had faint hoof-tracks left in the dirt, obviously marking that this was the way Pinkie had traveled. Twilight began to run up the narrow trail at a full sprint, her body tense with nervousness, and her mind fearing to go near her lover. The pine needles and spruce trees whipped past her face, some leaving a small kiss of pink behind to show where they had came into contact.
Just as Twilight came out of the brush, she came to a slow walk, coming up behind the bright pink pony. She pulled the blanket off of her back, laying it over Pinkie Pie gently. She watched as the blanket fell to her body, morphing to her natural curves. It was a beautiful sight, and Twilight couldn't help but lay with her. She slowly slid her hoof below Pinkies head, lifting it just enough to lay the pillow down to form a barrier between the ground and her gorgeous face.
Twilight slipped under the covers, stretching the blanket so it would cover both her and Pinkie Pie. She rested her head right behind Pinkies, filling her nose with the sweet smell of cotton-candy. Pinkie started to move, slightly turning her head towards Twilight, tears filling her eyes.
'I never thought you'd come...'
'Of course I'd come, I love you.' Twillight replied, a smile on her face and her heart at rest.
'I love you too, Twilight.'
Both ponies scooted in closer to each other, scavenging for any warmth that they could get. Even if they did freeze this night, their hearts were finally at rest, filled with the love the other had given.
