Those Most Missed

Dear Princess Luna,

I lost something today. Something precious, that I will treasure to the end of my days, but... it will only be a memory. I miss it already, though I never knew I would until the last moment I had it.

Today was the last day of this school year. I had never been so excited for the year to be over. How could I not be? I hated the school-- the intimidating principal, the way that every sport or game was centered around "go team, let's beat the living daylights out of the other school" -- Tartarus, I even hated the building itself. All of today I had been excited for the final bell, waiting on the edge of my seat for each class to end. I said my goodbyes quickly, not really putting much thought towards what any of them really meant. Towards the end of the day, the principal called us all down to the auditorium so that we could do the traditional "clap-out" for students leaving the building for the last time. That was all of us this year, because they're going to convert the school into a sports center this summer. I've often joked that I want to be there to see the construction ponies buck it to the ground and tear that lump of brick apart. Not anymore.

I had something there that I will never regain. Not my friends, as they will be with me next year in another school. Not my classes, for although I will miss those as well, they are not the reason for which I write. Do not misunderstand, I do not want to stop the conversion of the school, because the school itself is also not what I miss. I would lose this anyway, going on to a new grade. I. . . Princess, I miss the one pony who I never thought I cared about very much. My math teacher.

I realized it as I was walking out. All of a sudden, just out of the blue. The teacher who had pushed me the most, who I had even regarded as mean sometimes, I suddenly felt an overwhelming attachment to. I will remember her lessons forever. Not, perhaps, the mathematical ones, but other lessons. Never directly spoken, but taught all the same. She pushed my classmates and I to our limits, never beyond what we could do. She spoke our language and regarded us with respect, listening to what we had to say. She was strict, but reasonable. She did not easily excuse missing homework or disorganization, although she knew who to expect not to have their homework done. I don't think I was among her favorites, but neither was I on the other end of the scale. In fact, I doubt that I will be remembered by her at all.

As I was walking out of the building, many teachers and students were giving each other hugs. I am not one for hugging, usually, so I politely refrained, until I reached my math teacher. In that moment, I suddenly felt a powerful attachment to her and an overwhelming gratitude for all that she has taught me. I went up to her and gave her a hug, thanking her for being such a good teacher. It will be a long time before that parting leaves my memory. Oh, Princess Luna, I miss her so much already!

She's not the only one, either. There have been other teachers in my life who I have felt very similarly about. I initially regarded them each as strict and mean, coming later to realize how much I valued them and their lessons (although I have always realized it before I have had to move on, in the past). I wish I was still with them, learning from them, doing my best for them. I have loved each of those teachers like an apprentice loves her mentor, like a daughter loves her mother, or a filly loves her best, closest friend. I will continue to love and respect them for the rest of my life, even though they will forget me. I did not make such an impact on them as they did on me, and I am not important enough to their lives to be remembered. It is so hard to be forgotten by the ones whom you treasure most.

I think that you may understand that better than anypony.

I write to you tonight because I think that you, as a leader of this country, are a teacher too. You set the example of how we are to live, and help govern and organize our lives. So, I thought that you might want to hear the lesson that one of your students has learned today. I understand that Princess Twilight used to write letters to your sister whenever she learned an important life lesson, and I figured that I might as well do the same.

I also write because I need somepony to write to who will listen quietly. I want to put down my words on paper, reminisce upon today uninterrupted, and send my thoughts to the moonlight. I feel like the moon knows already. She has reached out a beam to touch my shoulder, and I can feel her presence listening to my thoughts. Quietly listening, just as I know you will. Two teachers who will never go away from my life. You are the princess of silence and stillness, the princess of depth and silver grace. You are there to stand next to each pony as she travels into the depths of her mind and the roots of her troubles, and so I write to you.

And I know that what I have written may sound silly. Irrelevant, pointless, empty, like I'm getting all worked up about nothing that's really important. I doubt that this sort of thing would be important to anypony but a teenager whose hormones are seriously messing with her emotions. I know that you may discard this letter altogether before even reading it, having more important things to do. I know that this letter is not well-formulated, or written in proper letter format, or any of that. I am not even sure how I will send this letter, and I doubt that it will be worth your while if you do read it. But most of what I needed to do tonight was simply to write, to organize my thoughts and feelings into something that can be comprehended. Comprehended, at least, if not understood. Understanding is my goal in the end, but I have to start somewhere.

I am your student always.