"Spike, im heading out alright!?" Yelled Twilight from under the doors archway.
The green baby dragon poked his head out from behind a bookshelf that he was organizing.
"What? Were are you headed to, Twilight?" Spike asked with a concerned tone in his voice.
"Oh its really nothing, just a meeting with the princess. Don't worry I'll be back soon," replied the light purple alicorn.
As Twilight closed the door, Spike went over to the window and gave her a big smile and a wave goodbye. When the mare was out of sight, Spike backed away from the window and sighed with relief.
"Finally she's gone! Now I can do what I want to do, and not have to hear her constant nagging!" He said excitedly.
As Spike headed toward the kitchen for a bowl of gems, he noticed a scroll by the door, it had a purple silk ribbon wrapped around it with Twilights' initials on it.
"Huh? What's this?" Spike pondered as he went to go retrieve the letter. "Hm, she must of dropped this on accident when she left"
He took off the ribbon, opened up the scroll, and proceeded to read the letter.
"For crying out loud! Are you serious!?" Spike said aloud while reading the title of the letter.
It read "Spikes Chores," The dragon sighed in anger.
"Well let's see what kind of back breaking chores I have to commit today," he mumbled
Spike continues to read the list of back breaking chores that he has to do against his will.
1.Reorganize all of the bookshelf's from A-Z
2.Dust all of the bookshelf's
3.Don't eat any gems while I'm gone
4.Take out the trash
5.Feed Owlowiscious
6.Get quills
7.Wash the floors
8.Get more scrolls and ribbons
9.In fact clean the whole entire house
10.Write a letter to Princess Celestia about what you learned today
Spike was speechless for how stupid and unnecessary this list was, he thought to himself."Why do I have to do all the chores!? And she's a unicorn, well alicorn, but whatever! She can do all of this with just the thought of it! And how is not eating gems a chore? If I'm hungry I'm gonna eat some gems dammit! And what am I supposed to write to Celestia? How Twilight is enslaving me?" Spike crumpled up the scroll and tossed it into the trash.
"Chores my ass, I'm going to relax here and eat some gems!" Spike said freely.
"Woo," an anonymous voice said.
Spike looked up to see an owl perched on top of one of the bookshelfs, it was Owlowiscious, Twilights pet owl.
"Hey, can't a dragon have some relaxation? Besides this will probably be my only day to have my own time to do stuff, and I don't see you doing anything," Spike explained.
Owlowiscious gave spike an angry look from what he said.
"Woo,woo!" Owlowiscious said with a bit of anger in his voice.
"Giving quills and handing books to Twilight doesn't match to what I do ok?" Spike said while flopping down on a nearby couch.
Owlowiscious grabbed a nearby book with his talons and dropped it onto Spikes head.
"Ouch! Okay, okay, what you do does count" Spike said while rubbing his head.
Spikes stomach began to growl, due to the fact that he skipped breakfast.
"Hang on, I'm gonna go get some gems," spike said joyfully as he jumped up and headed towards the kitchen.
"Woo," Owlowiscious wooted worryingly.
Owlowiscious knew how clumsy and forgettable Spike could be with directions, Spike has forgotten to feed him more then once, so Owlowiscious has a reason to be worried.
"Oh yeah! Your food! Spike said, quickly running over to the bags of seeds, and tearing one of them open then pouring it into a small pan.
"Eat up pipsquek" spike said with a half chuckle.
Owlowiscious rolled his eyes at spikes comment. Spike proceeded to grab the gems from the kitchen and head back to the couch.
"Now this is more like!" as spike munched on a couple of gems, while slouching on the piece of furniture.
Spike grabs one of the gems and twirls it between his claws.
"Now that were on the topic of Twilight *munch* what really ticks you off about her? Spike asked with a mouthful of gems.
" Woo,woo,woo!" the owl replied in frustration.
"Sweet Celestia! Her snoring! I know, its unbearable! Spike clenched a fist, breaking the gem that was in his hand. " but you know what really grinds my gears!?" He asked.
"Woo?"
"About 4 days of the week, she masturbates like a machine! I mean I know she's lonely and all, but come on! Have some decency for the others in this household!"
Spike grabbed two gems, reenacting what Twilights does when she's aroused.
"Woo!" Owlowiscious said with an, "I know huh?" Tone.
"And the worse part is, is that she thinks I don't know and I can't hear it! How can I not!? I'm in the same room as her, and I can see every detail! And about me not hearing-" he chuckles. "I can hear every smack and pant!" He cringes at just the thought of it. "And another thing, when she reaches her climax-how am I not supposed to hear that? When she orgasms, some of it splashes on me, and she screams like a fucking banshee!" Spike laughs at his own words." Ha ha! I'm surprised all of ponyville doesn't hear it!"
Both Spike and Owlowiscious brake into hysterical laughs.
"Woo,woo"
"I hate that too, when she talk all sciency," Spike says with disgust. " she's all like-String Theory, Space Time continuum, Plutonium, and Inertia, one time we were eating together and I wanted some salt, then she says "You mean NaCl?" whatever just give me the damn salt smartass!" Spike said while eyeing the salt on the counter.
"Woo,woo,woo," Owlowiscious said with anger.
"Yeah, she is lazy and sometimes ungrateful, she has magic and wings, what more does she want? Probably a penis on her head! Oh wait she already has one there!" Spike laughed uncontrollably from the last few words that left his mouth.
Spike finally calmed down from his laughing.
"But there is some things I like about her, she is kinda sexy, she helps me in situations, she gives me, well both of us, a place to stay, and she is the saviour of Equestria most of the time" Spikes says with a bit of regret for all the bad things he said about her.
Both of them hang their heads in shame.
Spike finally comes to his senses, "nope! I'm not sucking up to her! And nor should you!" He snaps.
Owlowiscious woos with agreement, and spike returns with his problems with Twilight.
"I hate it when she treats me like a baby, does she do the same to you?" Spike asks with curiosity.
"Woo"
"No!? Why not? She treats and talks to me like one, she once said "does spike Wikey need his napy wapy?" can you believe that?" He spat out. "I'm surprised she can even talk when her lips are always puckered kissing my ass, and she always softens up to me, its annoying!"
Spike threw a gem in frustration at the wall, nearly shattering it.
"Well what can you do huh?" Spike says disappointingly while looking at the empty bowl. "I'm glad we had this talk Owlowiscious, at least I know I'm not the only one annoyed," he says happily. "All in all we can both agree that she is a good pony, unicorn, or alicorn. Whatever the hell she is,"
"She's a bastard, I know that more than anypony else"
