Howdy. My name's Big Mac.

Most ponies who know me usually say I talk less than a mute with a rope tied 'round his muzzle, and they're right. I don't. I'm the kinda pony who lets my actions speak for me.

What those ponies don't know is that I like to write a good bit instead. Otherwise, my head would be swimmin' with all sorts of stuff. Usually it's about weird dreams I had or stuff that happened some days... You know, it's nothin' special.

But this time, what I have to write about may just be the most important thing I put down on paper. Eeyup; you probably won't believe what I'm about to tell 'ya. I guess you'll just have to trust me since there are only two... Well, three ponies who know about what actually happened. That's me and ~~Lu~~- Eh... Well, I'll get to that later.

Oh, uh... If 'yer a younger filly or colt, you might not wanna read. I'm just sayin; it's as raunchy as a service mare in a brothel.

Anyway, the day started off just like any other day. Got up at four A.M. and chowed down breakfast. I'm usually the only one up that early; my sister Applejack don't get up 'till five and my other sister Applebloom and my granny don't get up till... Well, let's just say they like to enjoy their beds.

All I really needed was a few scrambled eggs, so that's what I made. Even put some hot sauce on 'em just like always. Anypony that lives on a farm like mine knows it's the only way to eat eggs. The sun was just comin' up over the ridge when I walked outside; it's my favorite time 'a day. I took my old yoke and threw it on. I always felt like I was naked when it wasn't on me and just havin' it on my neck helped me get into a workin' mood.

"Eeyup." I took a deep breath and stretched. It was about as enthusiastic as I got while workin'.

The soil was still cool from the night and feelin' it squish between my hooves always felt nice. Though, it was a little dryer than usual, probably 'cus it hadn't rained in over a week. It usually got like that durin' late summer 'round here. I didn't give no mind either way; I could till concrete if I needed to. Honest; you can ask ol' Applejack. She's seen me do it.

Applejack would be out there plantin' potatoes as soon as she got up, so I had to hurry. It usually took me 'bout two hours to till the spud farm, but I put a little trot in my step and got it done in less than half of that. Made me sweat a little, but I got it done. I just hoped it wasn't all sloppy since I did it so fast.

Sure enough, right as I was takin' my yoke off, I saw Applejack trottin' outside and flippin' her ol' hat on, a sack full of baby spuds on her back.

"Good work there, Mac! Shoot, you finished up in just an hour?" She trotted up and put the sack down, gettin' right to work. It was just like her to not waste a minute.

"Eeyup." I nodded, feelin' a bit proud of myself.

"You sure you didn't just get up an hour earlier? It looks like you took 'yer time with it."

"Nope." I felt even more proud now that I knew it wasn't sloppy like I feared before.

I couldn't rest on a job well done, yet. I still had to plow a couple more fields, but they didn't need to be planted 'till the next day, so I wasn't in a rush.

I was just about to walk away and get started before AJ stopped me.

"Oh, uh... Granny asked if you could fix up her ol' bird house today. You think you got time?" Her hooves were already covered in dirt from plantin'.

"Eeyup."

I was pretty certain we still had some nails and lumber in the ol' storehouse 'round back, even though I hadn't checked in a while...

"Thanks, Big Mac!" She almost said it as if she was supposed to do it and dumped it on me... I'd be lying if I said she'd never done that before. Element of honesty my flank...

Once the tilling was done, I thought things would get a lot easier. Fixing up a beat up birdhouse sounded like a pretty simple job; at least it was way simpler than pullin' a forty pound plow through four miles of soil in the late summer heat.

I took off the yoke and rubbed my neck to get it loosened up before walkin' 'round back to the storage shed. The old wooden doors creaked as I opened them. The paint on them had started to peel nearly a decade ago, almost to the point of it not having paint at all. But, it still worked as a storage shed. I'm sure Applejack would get around to it eventually.

Anyway, there wasn't much light inside so I had to be careful not to step on any nails in the dark. I felt around the shelves with one of my hooves until I heard the familiar "jingle" of the box of nails.

The second I touched it, I knew that something was wrong, but I couldn't tell for sure until I took it and went back outside. I didn't have to look inside the box to know.

There weren't enough... And that's when the day started getting strange. I could've sworn there was a full box in there just yesterday...

"Shoot..." I cursed under my breath. I knew I'd have to go to the store to get some more but it was already well into the afternoon. Even if they weren't closed, the town would be packed and I really didn't wanna get mixed in with the afternoon Ponyville crowd again. That always turned out to be a disaster...

But, I had to go. If Granny wanted a job done, then it'd be done. I decided not to whine about it. I turned around to leave, but I was immediately met face to face with a bat pony about half my size.

Eeyup. It took me by surprise, too. Nearly made me jump and dump the box of nails all over both of us.

Sure she didn't measure up to me, but she had eyes that burned through the back of my head like laser beams and a stare that saw through my soul. She was intimidating to say the least, but... What did Princess Luna want with somepony like me?

I didn't know.

"Uhh..." I just stood there looking down at her, wondering what she'd do.

"Her Highness, Princess Luna, requests your presence tonight." She spoke in a cute little voice that cracked a couple of times, but I didn't dare laugh or even chuckle at it for fear that I'd be cut down where I stood. It was kinda insincere and in monotone, as if it were a line she'd memorized from countless uses.

I still didn't understand.

"W-Why?" I asked as politely as I could.

She sighed as I took the little document she held out for me. She had a thick Manehattan accent that was a little cute, to be honest.

"Look bud, I dunno why she asked for 'ya and I ain't gonna go ask her. I'm just doin' my job; it ain't my business why she wants 'ya. Kapeesh?"

"E-Eeyup..." I took it and inspected. The letter was written in fancy hoofwriting and I could tell it wasn't just printed. It read: "Notice of royal summons for 'Big Macintosh' of Sweet Apple Acres. Her Highness has requested your presence at approximately eight P.M."

"Uh..." I searched through it as she started to walk away and she seemed a bit annoyed that I kept her longer than she wanted to be there.

"Yeah, yeah, what is it now?" She turned back and gave me a humorless look.

"Where... Am I supposed to..."

"I dunno. It don't say where so it probably means she'll come for you. Just make sure you're spic and span for when she comes and don't be late. Be right here when she comes or you'll face charges." She walked up and poked my chest, looking me square in the eye with an attitude. "Got it?"

"Eeyup..." I gulped and nodded. She didn't say another word and quickly flew off with her wide black bat wings. She managed to zip into the clouds and out of sight faster than most pegasi I saw on a daily basis. Were they all that fast? It was the first time I'd ever seen a bat pony that close to me before; I guess I just got a little jittery.

"What in the wide world of hay sports was that?!" My sister had apparently seen what happened from a long ways away. She took the document from my hoof and read it aloud.

"Notice of royal summons...?" She looked at me like I had changed into a completely different pony. "What in Equestria does Luna want with you?"

I just shrugged.

"Well whatever it is, it sure seems important..." She kept reading down. There was a bit more fine text towards the bottom; I guess she just wanted to make sure there weren't no bureaucratic hootenanny that'd get me in trouble. "So all you gotta do is wait right here tonight at eight P.M.? That..." She scratched her head, looking a bit confused. "That sure is odd..."

"Eeyup."

"How come it's a summons when you ain't goin' nowhere? That ain't a summons at all..." Applejack flipped it to its back, but there was nothing there.

"Eeyup."

"I better tell granny about this... Oh and, uh... Don't worry about that there bird house. Don't wanna risk bein' late for Luna."

"Eeyup..."

Applejack, after telling me basically everything I already knew and shoving the letter against my chest, trotted off. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was upset, but... What could she be upset about?

On the plus side, this meant I had an excuse to relax inside for the rest of the day. Sure, I could've gone to the store in Ponyville, gotten nails, came back and fixed the bird house in time, but I knew better than anypony that Ponyville market hours were like tryin' to push a ball through a square hole.

I closed the storage shed's door and locked it shut. Judging by the sun, I'd say it was just past noon.

Just enough time for a nap.

My heart almost jumped out of my chest like a jack in a box on steroids when I woke up and saw that it was completely dark outside. 'Round summertime, it don't get dark 'till real late, so I assumed the worst. Though, somepony in the house would've woke me up if I was oversleepin'.

I jumped out of bed; my mane was a mess. I didn't have to look in the mirror; I could just tell. My alarm clock read seven forty-eight. I just barely had enough time to get ready.

I knew I'd be in for it if I showed up for Princess Luna's summons looking like a... Well, a workpony like me. I tried desperately to straighten out my mane by running my hoof through it. It was what I usually did when I woke up... I just hoped it was enough.

I didn't even know what happened to ponies that disappointed royalty. Did they get a fine? Or, maybe... Did they get exiled?

I was sweating under my fur. And, if that wasn't bad enough, I had a bad case of the shivers as I walked out of my room. Everypony else was asleep by that time, which explained why nopony woke me up. I could tell because everypony in my house snored except me.

And the house sounded like a snore-fest.

My left shoulder ached and creaked when I left the house and I gritted my teeth from the slight amount of dull pain it caused. In fact, it nearly made me topple over when I found out the hard way that I couldn't put all my weight down on it while stepping down the front porch.

Two things happened in that instant.

One, somepony or something broke my fall. It was kinda soft and fluffy. Like a... neatly groomed chest of... F-Fur...

Two, as I looked up, I saw that I had stumbled over none other than Princess Luna herself.

My face went blood red and I stood back up at attention, lowering my gaze. I was lightheaded from the shame I felt. I didn't dare look back at her; doing so would probably make her even madder at me.

"I- I'm sorry, 'Yer Highness, I didn't... I wasn't..."

I heard her giggle a little as she tilted my chin up with her hoof. The sudden intimacy made me kinda embarrassed.

"There is no need to worry, Big Mac." She let go of my chin and stepped back. "I am sure thou art wondering why I have asked for your presence... I apologize for the short notice."

"E-Eeyup..."

Luna took a deep breath of the fresh farm air, which wasn't the best smell in the world if 'ya ask me, but she seemed to enjoy it. I couldn't stop watching her mane blow in the breeze; it was kinda pretty...

"I do not have a proper way of explaining this, so I will be blunt about it. I need your help, Big Mac."

What could somepony like me possibly do to help somepony like her...? I thought to myself, staying silent so that she could finish her thought.

"I may sound like a broken record when I say this; I have been quite lonely ever since I have returned from my banishment."

When she paused again, I cut in.

"But don't 'ya have ol' Twilight and the gang? What about 'yer sister?"

Luna smiled slightly and looked down at the hardened dirt beneath her hooves. "I suppose it would seem as if I were surrounded by company from somepony like you... But what I refer to is something more... Intimate."

My ears perked up when she said that last bit. She couldn't be talking about... Nope, she couldn't...

"As I have stated earlier, I will be blunt. I require your assistance in relieving my sexual tension."

My eyes shot out wide and my heart skipped a beat for a second. I nearly fell over from the shock of what she just said.

I just stood there like a deer caught in headlights.

"I understand this might come as a shock to you, Big Mac..."

"Eeyup!" I was getting more and more nervous by the second.

Now, I know most of you reading this would probably go "Sure, Luna." and stick 'yer stallion stick in her mare mouth. But, I couldn't just... I couldn't just court a princess just like that. It went against my manners... Though, Luna didn't seem to care much for manners at the time. I could already notice her checkin' me out in several places.

"Forgive my lewdness, please... I would not be doing this if it were bearable in any way. I have searched far and wide for the one stallion who I believe could truly satisfy me and I feel that you are the best pony for this task."

I still couldn't believe what I was hearing. For a second, I thought this was all some sort of joke. That is, until she caressed my cheek gently. A princess wouldn't touch somepony like that if it was just a joke... Right?

She could apparently see the nervousness and doubt in my eyes.

"Am I... Am I not suitable for you?" She said with a kinda sad tone as if she didn't know she was beautiful. I quickly answered to keep her from losin' her self-esteem.

"N-No, 'Yer Highness, it ain't that..."

"Am... Am I pretty, Big Mac?"

It was weird, she almost said it as if she didn't know. There was no way she couldn't know. I figured formalities were out of the way at that point so I shared in her practice of bein' blunt.

I took the liberty of scanning her body shortly, hoping that she'd take the hint. Along with her elegant feminine eyes and high class charm, her curves were real nice. She also had a little tee-shirt on that said "Dream Girl" on the front, which suited her in several ways. It was actually kinda cute... I never thought somepony like her would be so informal around others, but then again, I guess this wasn't really a formal meeting, was it? Now that I got a chance to closely inspect her, she looked as if she had just gotten out of bed, or was getting ready to go to bed. Her mane was sorta messy, but in an attractive way, along with her little tee-shirt that looked a few sizes too big for her. It was obviously a shirt she wore to bed. Her fur looked kinda damp and poofey which made me think she took a shower recently.

"Eeyup..."

Her wings flared and she looked at me like I gave her a diamond necklace.

"Really? Thou thinkest so?"

I nodded.

"T- Then..." That was the first time she blushed. "Perhaps we should... How do the young ponies say it? Take this somewhere more private...?" She gave me a pair of bedroom eyes that shot right through my heart and between my legs.

My body was reluctantly kicking into courting mode without my permission. It was no use; she was too pretty not to be attracted to.

After another awkward long pause, she threw the question back onto the table, leaning in closer and staring me down right into my eyes with a naughty look on her face.

"Well? What say you, Big Mac?"

Author's Note

This will probably be a two-three chapter series so don't you worry!~

Thanks to everyone who helped out with donations and patreon support! If you want to help out as well, just click on this thingie right here! ---> I'm a thingy! <---

If there are any errors, please send me a PRIVATE MESSAGE and let me know so that I can fix them asap. Thanks for reading! <3

Happy Birthday, Jake!