Not What You Think

by TheVClaw

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Cheese Sandwich, Comedy, Random, Pinkie Pie, Mr. Cake, Sex, Cake Twins, Mrs. Cake
Length: 1252

Mister and Missus Cake leave Pinkie to do some last minute baking duties with her buddy Cheese Sandwich. Unfortunately, the Cakes overhear some things when they come back unexpectedly...

After Tirek's defeat and the reveal of Twilight Sparkle's castle, the Cakes were quick to throw a celebration. And while the two got the festivities ready at the castle, Pinkie Pie agreed to do some extra preparations back at Sugar Cube Corner with Cheese Sandwich.

However, when the couple went back to the bakery for some extra supplies, they overhear the two in the kitchen, saying some rather suggestive things...

Published 2015-04-07 01:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-07 01:50:02 UTC

Or, Pinkie Pie's Super Secret Taste-Testing

Mister and Missus Cake seemed fairly exhausted as they trotted back to their bakery, each of them holding one of their foals in their saddlebags. Despite the fact that the invasion of Tirek had frayed their nerves with worry, the two were overjoyed enough by his defeat to celebrate the reveal of Twilight Sparkle's new castle immediately. Of course, since it was such a short-notice celebration, the bakers had to collect a few more essentials from Sugar Cube Corner before they could head back and continue their work.

Along their way, the Cakes saw more and more ponies happily making their way towards the new castle. Since the massive crystal structure stood out gloriously against the mid-afternoon skies, it wasn’t surprising for ponies from all around to visit and see how it looked. In fact, Pinkie Pie told the two earlier about how Cheese Sandwich, the party pony that nearly rivaled the pink mare in randomness, had came back into town to assist in the celebration. Given how experienced the two were, the Cakes had no problems letting Pinkie and Cheese go back to Sugar Cube Corner to do some extra preparation work.

However, as soon as the two entered their shop, they were surprised to find that it was strangely still. Not a single pony was inside the bakery; of course, that may have been expected due to Ponyville’s newest addition. But more alarming than that, was that neither of them could hear much inside Sugar Cube Corner either. And given how wild both Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich could be on their own, the fact that there was an eerie silence made both of them start to worry.

Carrot Cake was the first to walk towards the back of the shop, keeping his son secure in his saddlebag as he reached the door to the kitchen. However, before he could enter with his wife in tow, the two overheard Pinkie Pie’s voice from the other side of the door.

“Jeepers, Cheesey! You weren’t lying when you said it was huge!”

Both Mister and Missus Cake moved their heads back in a jolt after hearing that statement. While their kids bobbed around happily at their parents’ sides, obviously not old enough to know what was going on, the married bakers looked at each other with a hint of concern in their eyes.

“Wha…” Carrot Cake tried to speak up first, but only that first syllable came out of his mouth when he tried to speak. It took him a second before he could say anything else. “What… what are they--”

“Well, I told ya!” exclaimed Cheese Sandwich’s voice from the kitchen, interrupting Mister Cake’s question. “You’d be surprised how often mares react to it like that!”

“Well, it really is a big one!” said Pinkie with a tone of cheerfulness in her voice. Missus Cake bent her head in closer to the door, listening in with narrowed eyes. While her ears twitched, she could hear clear as day what Pinkie said next:

“I think it’s actually bigger than Mister Cake’s!”

The pudgy blue mare shot her gaze back to her husband, giving him a nasty glare. Mister Cakie shuffled back a bit, obviously looking worried as he turned away with a sweating brow. “We-we don’t know what they’re talking about, Cupcake. I-i-it might just be--”

“Wanna give it a lick?” asked Cheese in a strangely different tone of voice. Missus Cake turned back to the door with wider eyes, and could swear she could hear a 'doink-doink’ noise, like Cheese Sandwich perked his brows or something.

“Boy, do I!” Mister and Missus Cake leaned back in against the door, hoping to overhear what their employee might be doing next. A brief sound of something wet could be heard from inside the kitchen, like Pinkie’s tongue just slurped up something. Aside from some light “goos” from their kids, the only thing that the bakers heard next was the sound of smacking lips.

“Mmmm! That's not bad! A bit salty though.”

“Salty?!” asked Cheese in a more surprised tone of voice. “Let me try…”

Cupcake and Carrot Cake bent in again, their expressions looking more disturbed as they heard another small slurp. After a moment, they heard Cheese speak up. “Oh man! I thought I had enough pineapple!”

Mister Cake turned over to his wife with a curious look on his face. “Does that really work?”

The blue mare just rolled her eyes and turned away from his question.

“Oh, don’t worry,” exclaimed Pinkie with a more positive tone. “I kinda like it salty.”

Cupcake made a angered huff as her expression grew more irritated. She muttered under her breath, “I swear, those two better not be doing what I think they’re doing…”

“Oh, come on,” whispered Carrot Cake back to her. “They’re probably making a cake or something. You shouldn’t just assu--”

“You ready for a real taste?” asked Cheese in a tone that definitely sounded suspicious.

“Mmm-hmm!” responded pinkie in a more eager tone of voice. “I was thinking about since the last time you were here!”

Missus Cake looked back at her husband with a deadpan stare. “You sure about that?”

Mister Cake just rolled his eyes. “Oh, come on! I think you’re just being paranoid!”

“Oh, am I?” Cupcake then pointed a hoof at the door. “Then go in and check for yourself!”

Carrot Cake just shrugged before putting his hoof to the door. However, before the yellow stallion could push the door open to reveal what was going on, Cheese Sandwich’s voice spoke up after a loud gulp was heard. “Wowzers! I didn’t know your mouth could open that wide!”

Mister Cake immediately pulled his hoof back in shock, his expression growing more uncertain than before. His wife’s face was looking shocked as well. “Oh no,” muttered the mare with a shake of her head. “She better not be…”

“I swear,” continued Cheese with a hint of a pant in his voice, “I… I never saw a mare take in that much in one sitting!”

A louder wet slurp could be heard before Pinkie replied happily, “Yeah, I’ve kinda done this before.”

“Well, don’t stop now!” said Cheese with a whine. “You were about to get the cream filling!”

“Oh boy! I hope it’s a lot!” And with that, another loud gulping noise was overheard from inside the kitchen.

“Okay, that’s it!” Before Mister Cake could protest, his wife took their daughter out of her saddlebag, placing it in the other side of Carrot’s bag before going for the door. “I’ve had enough of this!”

“Honey wait!” exclaimed Carrot Cake in slight panic. “You don’t know wha--”

Missus Cake ignored her husband as she stormed into the kitchen. “Pinkie! What the hay is--AAAAAAHHHH!!!”

“MMMPH!” A loud gurgle was heard before Pinkie said in a panicked tone, “I’m sorry! I’ll clean it up, I’ll clean it up!”

“It’s not what it looks like!” yelled Cheese Sandwich before Cupcake stumbled back out of the kitchen, her eyes wide-open with her jaw agape.

When she walked past her husband, letting the door close behind her, Carrot looked over at Cupcake worriedly. “Ummm… honey? What was going on?”

Missus Cake continued to storm away as she shouted, “What do you THINK was going on?! She was sucking his dick!!!”

The End

Author's Note

I'd like to thank Choya, Maddie, and my other Skype buddies for proofreading this drunken chicken-scratch I decided to write.