Razor's Edge

by Platen Rhyme

Rating: teen
Tags: Sad, Tragedy
Length: 1129

Growing up is nowhere near the easiest, but for some it's pushed to the edge. But for some of us, that edge could mean life or death. This might be how it ends, but the tragedy was years in the making.

Hatred, bullies, and an easy way out. It seems like the easiest way to end it, but there must be another way. Is it too late to salvage what's left? Or would it be best to let time run it's course. Only time can tell, but with so little time left and at the point of no return, it seems like the end is near. could it be?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-06 07:09:51 UTC

Elementary

It’s not the easiest to sit in a classroom afraid and insecure about yourself as a filly. I remember the faces of the other children laughing and smiling, as I sat there scared and afraid of social interaction. It’s not that the other colts and fillies scared me, but the fear of being hated was over the top, it was now that my problems started to arise. I would show up every day for years at the same classroom, with the same fillies, and the same colts. Nothing much changed, but it was the only changes that hurt the worst. The rumors, the names, the shoving, the teasing, and the yelling. I just couldn’t take it! Why couldn’t I be myself? Was it so hard for the kids to accept another for themselves?

I cried myself to sleep every night and I tried to hide it from my parents. I didn’t want them to worry because of me, I wasn’t important enough. It got to the point each pony in school would stare and laugh as I walked by, I tried to keep my head low and not make eye contact with anyone but they also tried their best to make sure their spit wads hit their mark. I was in my last year of this wretched place and I couldn’t wait. Instead of sleeping, I would actually lay in bed, my blanket wrapped and snuggled around my body, and I would dream of how my next school would be once I left elementary. The thoughts would actually put a smile on my face and I’d snuggle my pillow, keeping a small thought to the side of maybe and hopefully finding the perfect colt for me.

Today was it, my last day of elementary, ponies tried to break me down like usual but I got through it with a smile. Nothing could be done to get my eyes off the happy future I had dreamt of in my sleep. I sat eagerly on the edge of my desk, ready to dash through the door once that bell erupted. It had been the longest thirty seconds of my life but it was worth it. The second the sound shot through the class, I shot through the door, running my fastest to get home. Today was the beginning to something new, an escape from the torture and hate. It was all I could have ever dreamt of. I just hope the troubles didn’t follow me.

Facing Death

You know we can’t all feel right, to have a stable state of mind and a heart strengthened with love.  The sad part is that these small imperfections make us outcasts, unwanted by the occupiers of society. They push you to the side and slap labels on you that keep your head hung and your heart dry, the labels that make you think why you’re even around? What’s the point, they don’t want you and neither do I. It seems like the easy way out and a way to lift the hatred that was blanketed over your life, your feelings, and your vision on life. You start to see red, the shade of red that’s as black as blood but still has the vibrant color that brings out the skin surrounding the wound. It turns into a rush, the blade in between your teeth about to slide against the grain of your hoof, you anticipate the sight of blood.

But now isn’t the time to rant of what we wish could happen, because there isn’t much more I can do than to just think. So I do, I lie there in a puddle of my own blood, growing larger by the second, staring at the ceiling and wondering, why the bathroom? Your mind starts to think of different places it could be other than that, almost like your mind forgets you’re a few pumps away from darkness, or is it darkness? But let’s not go into detail, there’s no point. I’m dying and that’s that, any questions now would be pointless to even acknowledge. So I lie silently in the tub, blood all around and the blade near the drain. My eyelids feel heavy, could this be it? My mind starts to hope, I try to smile at the freedom that im moving towards. My eyes shut, I hear my tears drip into the red sea. It’s finally over, I say it over and over again. It might be the end, but it’s a new beginning, but with everything new there is something old. It’s not the greatest story to tell, but if it helps pass the time then let it be told.

High School

Hoping the teasing would ease up, I came into high school. I was hoping to get a break from the mental and physical torture I was forced to endure since I was a young colt. To my surprise, my hopes and dreams for all those years had actually come true. Well at least I had hoped it’d stay that way. The bullies I had once had to deal with seemed to not care anymore. I would see them in the hallways and inside I was trembling, but each time they’d just keep walking. It would still take a long while for my mind and heart to be at ease for once in my life, but to me it was worth the wait.

Day by day went by and each time I raised from my bed my smile was just a slight bigger. I hadn’t smiled since I was younger and I would often look at pictures of myself as a colt and my eye’s would start to water. There’s something about knowing there was a time when I was young that I was optimistic about my future that makes me cry. I hoped to make friends and get to know as many ponies as I could as I got older. I still wish that to this day, but I know it probably won’t happen like I wish it would. Even though nopony here picked on me, I was still a nopony and I couldn’t help that.

I stick to myself and try to get involved as little as possible, but there are still times the teachers force you to work in groups. Group work wasn’t the problem, it was the one pony in that group that thought he was the greatest. I remember there being one pony that thought she was greater than Rainbow Dash at flying, ten minutes and one failed sonic rainboom later she ended up at the hospital. But I guess it’s a part of growing up and testing your potential, but I had never thought I’d end up being rushed there myself.