Dusk Shine sighed softly to himself as he slid the silk skirt up his legs. He fastened the grey garment, tucking the blouse he wore into it. Leaning over, he pulled a sweater over his head, looking into the mirror and smiling at his reflection. It wasn’t Dusk Shine that looked back at him, but Twilight Sparkle—his deepest secret—the thing eating him, her, alive. Reaching a hand out to touch the reflection, she smiled sadly at herself. She closed her eyes, letting herself slip into a fantasy of being born the female she was, able to seduce the stallion she loved. She stumbled backward to sit on her bed, her skirt tenting with the cock peeking out from her sheath.
In her dream however, she was on her knees, kissing and licking happily at her stallion’s sheath. Her Prince smiled down at her as she teased his thick cock into view, his divine musk driving her wild. She let out a soft moan, licking up his cock’s underside, feeling his heat against her face.
In the real world, she whimpered, her hands gripping the bed sheets tight until her dream was suddenly shattered by a knock on the Library’s door. The very familiar knock made Dusk’s heart stop. She tore the sweater off her body, glancing at her clock. But it’s only 2p.m.! Solaris isn’t supposed to arrive until 5! The skirt and blouse joined the sweater, tossed into a haphazard pile at the bottom of his closet. He quickly pulled on jeans and a t-shirt, and stumbled down the library stairs. The pony that stepped up to the door wasn’t Twilight Sparkle simply Dusk Shine, personal student of His Royal Highness, Prince Solaris.
He shuddered as he forced himself to think like that, smoothing down his wrinkled shirt, and plastered a smile on his face as he opened the door
“Prince Solaris, I didn’t expect you this soon!”
Solaris blinked, looking his student over briefly. Something seemed off about Dusk. n-point-of-fact, that was why he’d shown up early. He smiled, stepping inside and ducking his head to clear the low doorway. The 8ft tall Alicorn wore a pair of simple black slacks, and an immaculate pale red button up shirt.
“You must forgive me, my Most Faithful Student, but I sensed you have not felt well recently. As my duties today already bring me to Ponyville, I was able to escape them for a moment, and I wished to make time and speak with you.”
Dusk’s heart skipped a beat and for a moment he was a she again. He willed himself back under control, and he smiled up at the Prince.
“I’m fine Prince Solaris! Really, I am. Thank you for worrying though. I’ve just been stressed by my studies.” He hated lying to Solaris, and he could feel Twilight cry deep inside.
“Dusk...” Solaris looked at him sadly, reaching out to gently cup his cheek in one warm palm, and lifted his chin. Solaris looked deep into his eyes, seeing the pain the young stallion was in. “Tell me...please. I’m here for you, you know that.” “I’m fine” Dusk—Twilight—lied again, tears staining his cheeks. The mare inside pulled away from the Prince’s touch. She was torn between revealing her torment, and simply keeping it bottled up. Afterall, being the wrong gender wasn’t exactly easy to put on a schedule, or checklist. It was an outlier in her experience and she was used to simply shutting it away.
Solaris released his student and stepped back, watching the small cracks form in Dusk’s facade. He could almost feel the torment wafting off the younger stallion.
“Dusk Shine, please talk to me.” He begged, and cast a quick spell, sealing the library from the outside world. He sent another spell scanning through the building and was glad to find Barb gone. He stepped forward again, pulling his student into a hug, and rubbed Dusk’s back gently.
Twilight broke down and sobbed into Solaris’s chest.
“I’m wrong!” She blubbered, most of her words mangled gibberish due to her sobbing, but Solaris caught words such as ‘broken, aberrant, and freak’
Solaris rubbed Dusk’s back more, holding him softly. “You are none of those things, Dusk Shine. You are a wonderful stallion, and one of the smartest ponies I know.” Solaris added forcefully. “That I’ve ever known!”
Twilight pulled away from Solaris, shoving the tall alicorn away, and glared at him.
“That’s the point! I’m not male! I’ve never felt male! It’s taken me most of my life to figure out why I felt wrong in my own skin! Why I had always hated being called a ‘gentlecolt,’ or a handsome stallion. Do you know in the whole of the Royal Library there are only three books detailing what it was to be transgendered? Did you know two of those treat it as a condition to be cured? The third is little better. It simply describes it with no recommendations for aiding the transgendered pony!” Twilight shook with fury directed at her teacher. “Remember when I turned 14? You began to teach me of pony sexuality? Why didn’t you mention this then?” Her horn sparked, her finger pointed at Solaris.
The alicorn felt floored by the anger of his student. He was shocked and ashamed to hear of the inadequacy of the Library., that there were still books left on ‘curing’ ponies of ‘conditions’ like this.
“Dusk, I’m honestly not sure what to say to you.” Solaris saw Dusk’s eyes narrow further in anger. “Please, I’ve never really experienced this,” he held up a hand to forestall another outburst, “I’ve lived a long time, but that doesn't mean I’ve met as many ponies as you might assume. I’m a private pony, most of my friends are other foreign nobles, or the Founders, or Star Swirl. None of them, to my knowledge, have had this gender-identity issue.” Solaris stopped, gently massaging his temple. He stepped back and conjured chairs for himself and Dusk, motioning for his student to sit. He took his own seat, choosing his next words cautiously.“Talk to me. I am trying to understand, if you are not a stallion...then you feel as though...you’re a mare?”
“Yes.” Twilight answered, sitting down. She wrapped her arms over her chest, hugging herself nervously, not meeting Solaris’s gaze.
“And it seems you don’t like me calling you Dusk Shine, so what should I call you?”
“Twilight Sparkle,” Twilight's response was nearly inaudible.
Solaris smiled at the name.
“A very pretty name for a young Lady” He reached out to offer her his hand in greeting. “I’m trying here Twilight, but this is very odd for me to be confronted by. I thought your crush was hard enough,” Twilight blushed faintly at his teasing. “But I am here for you my little pony, I will send discreet inquiries to other libraries for more resources about this. We can find out how to best help you transition into yourself.” Solaris smiled softly.
“Transition?” Twilight took Solaris’ hand, and felt him squeeze it reassuringly.
“Yes, even should a permanent gender-changing spell not exist, I want you to be happy, and for that you will need to feel able to live as Twilight Sparkle without fear.” Solaris beamed at her, squeezing her hand again. “I’m also sorry Twilight, I ordered the culling of the Library long ago, during darker times for my subjects. I sought to remove books that propagated abhorrent and damaging ideas, such as curing homosexuallity, or that harmed ponies with mental illnesses with barbarous treatments.” Solaris sighed and shook his head “It seems I missed some and I was much too zealous in my actions. I left you nothing with positive information. If I had known of your plight I could have recommended that you find help with a Doctor.”
Twilight narrowed her eyes angrily again, but held her tongue to let Solaris continue.
The Prince realized his ‘mistake’ a second later and continued.
“Wh-what I meant, Twilight, is that you need to talk to a Therapist of some fashion, not to fix you, but to help you. The...” Solaris paused for a moment, thinking about to phrase his meaning clearly. “The pony I watched grow up would never have snapped like she just did. I think, perhaps, the stress of all this might explain some of your other recent outbursts.” Solaris offered. “Such as the ‘Want it Need it Incident’ from a few months ago.”
Twilight nodded, looking away sadly. “This means I’m not going to be your student anymore doesn’t it?” She looked up at Solaris.
“No,” Solaris admitted, “but only because you need me to be a friend more than you need a teacher. That is if you will accept that.”
Twilight nodded and wiped her eyes, smiling at him. “I can try.” Solaris pulled her into a gentle hug, and for the first time, in a very long time Twilight felt a little bit better about being herself.
Author's Note
I hope I have not offended anyone in my, and my editor's, handling of this matter. I will continue and am seeking resources to keep this grounded as a Journey to Twilight.
