The Burden She Bears

by Ardent Wing

Rating: everyone
Tags: Other, Fluttershy, Slice of Life, Sad, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3129

The time has come for Fluttershy to face an end which she never wished for... but had always suspected.

Fluttershy must say goodbye. As must we all...

But the wind remembers us, and we can live forever... in the voices of the ones we leave behind.

Published 2015-04-07 01:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-07 01:40:01 UTC

Nothing more than a memory on the wind

It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold: when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade

Charles Dickens Great Expectations

Today was the day.

This is a very unique sentence, insofar that it can be interpreted in many ways. For some ponies it might mean a birthday, or a friend’s birthday. To others it might mark the beginning of a journey or trip. Still for others it may mean a trip to the dentist, or some such unpleasantness. The point of such sentences is that the individual applies what stands as important to the very meaning of the phrase.

In much the same way was meaning given to this phrase by Fluttershy, who was moments before jarred awake from her sleep. She could feel the breeze of a new summer morning, and it chilled her to her very core. The words still hung in her mind as she sat on her bed, shivering from the warm air.

Today was the day.

The sheer unstoppable finality of this phrase made Fluttershy want to cry. Yet she knew that she could not; for there was great duty to be followed this day, and she could not in any right mind deny her own pledge to nature.

There was still some time, however. Just enough time for her to perform her morning rituals.

Fluttershy began her day as she began every day; with the feeding of the many small animals that take up residence in her small cottage outside of Ponyville. She started with the birds, then moved to the bunnies and other small ground creatures, and completed her inside chores by leaving some cheese for the mice in the walls. After feeding all of the animals, Fluttershy made breakfast for herself. Though, she didn’t really eat it, as she had not so surprisingly lost her appetite for the day

Today was the day. Why did it have to be today?

The wind continued to blow into the cottage from the various open windows, though now it was not cold as that first breeze had been. Instead the air felt wet; vaporous from the coming rain the Pegasi had scheduled for today. It would not strike until later, which left her plenty of time to go and see her friend.

She said goodbye to Angel, left some food remaining in the bowl for any critters that became hungry while she was gone, and left the cottage. The sun was shining when she stepped from her home, leaving her yellow coat shining brightly in the golden light. She wished it could last forever, but even now she could see the gigantic ceiling of grey clouds moving in from the east; all of them propelled by the many wings of the weather ponies that had created them. It would be a storm to remember.

Fluttershy took little notice of anything else after that, as she knew she had somewhere to go, and her time to get there was drawing to a close. She made sure to leave some food for any passing animals that found themselves hungry, and then took off on a quick trot to her friend’s house.

Today was the day after all, and it made her hooves feel like lead.

The wind was picking up, blowing the leaves on the trees into a quiet rumble, often heard but little noticed in nature. Today of all days, Fluttershy noticed the noise, and it gave her a moment of contemplation as she trotted her way along the well-worn path that lead her into the deep woods.

The trees speak the wind, and the wind carries memory. This was a saying among the animals of the woods, who often spoke in abstracts, and never succeeded in explaining what they meant. As such, Fluttershy did not know what the phrase meant, though she always felt like it had something to do with the noise of wind in the leaves.

In their attempts to explain their words to Fluttershy, the animals had said that the noise the leaves made was that of memory, which continued to make little sense to her mind. Many of the animals of the woods treated the wind with great reverence, like it was a religion. To them, the wind was a great symbol of memory, and Fluttershy was able to respect that, if not understand it.

As she went deeper into the woods, Fluttershy’s mind began to wander from its usual trails, and she found herself remembering some old friends. Mostly, she remembered her squirrel friend, who had told her that she was an emissary of wind, and that her kindness was the voice with which it speaks. Yet again, Fluttershy had asked what he meant, and he had not been able to explain, but he had said that she was special for what she did. After that, he had moved north, saying that he wanted to see the great deer that wandered in the forests beyond Canterlot. That had been the last time she had seen her squirrel friend, and she found herself wondering if he actually did reach those deer he had been looking for. There were many animals that had gone north that year, and almost all of them said they were going to see the deer, which Fluttershy had never heard of before. In all of her years of tending to the animals of the wood, Fluttershy had learned that she knew nothing of its ways and workings, and the legends of the forest were beyond even her comprehension.

She would have continued her thoughts there, but she was interrupted by a loud crash of thunder in the distant sky. Other than making her jump, she also noted that since the weather was not yet in place, that burst of thunder could only have been caused by some accident in the clouds by one of the weather ponies. That made Fluttershy worry. What if somepony was hurt? Rainbow Dash was up there, helping roll the storm in, and the last thing Fluttershy would want is to have her friend, or anypony else, injured in their work.

Checking on them would be too dangerous, though, especially for an inexperienced weather pony like her. The ponies up there knew what they were doing, and she would only cause a problem by interrupting. Besides, she had her own work to complete right now.
Today was the day; she could not avoid it… no matter how much she wanted to.

The last few minutes of her walk were spent in silence, both in mind and body. Fluttershy was too busy forcing herself to walk to think about anything else.

When she finally did reach her destination, she stopped. Of course, she was still standing a distance from her friend’s home, but she still needed a moment to prepare herself.

The den she sought was nestled in the dark shade of a nearly impassable wall of trees. It was built into the hill of dirt the trees sat on; carved in by the work of many generations of claws tearing at the ground. When the place had first been created the trees were half the size they were now, and to the other animals of the woods it had seemed like a great waste of time when construction first began.

Now, however…. Now it was the great success of its creators. By the power of will, a small group of raccoons had forged night time in the middle of the day. Light never reached beyond the shadow of the great trees of that small clearing, and for raccoon, or any nocturnal creature, the unending shade stood as a marvel of animal engineering.

Fluttershy had never known those ambitious creators of this place, but she did know its current inhabitant, and he was the reason she stood so still at the edge of his clearing. She couldn’t go in there! She couldn’t do this!

But she had to. She owed it to her friend… It was her duty.

Today was the day, and it always would be.

With her hooves trying to drag her down, Fluttershy marched through the shadowy clearing towards the den. She could see no light inside, which was exactly as raccoons liked it. She knew that she would have to rely on her night eyes to see what was going on, as she had every time before. Another short rumble of thunder sounded in the distance, though this one was more likely a discharge of the clouds themselves than of the ponies moving them. The storm would be here soon.

Fluttershy reached the small wooden hatch that marked the entrance to the den. After taking a deep breath, she knocked her hoof on the door three times. From inside came a loud fit of coughing, followed by the resident’s allowance of her entrance. She pushed open the hatch, crawled in to the extremely cramped den, and was finally greeted by the sight of her friend in the dimness.

Stripe was the oldest raccoon in the woods. Almost impossibly ancient, he was the last remaining descendant of the builders of this place, and as such, was its last owner. Fluttershy had never believed him, but he said that he was older than her, and that he had walked the woods for years before he had even met her. Regardless of whether this was true, he had been one of her dearest friends since she had met him, which was when she was a filly.

Seeing him now, she could still remember all the times they had played together. All of the times she had seen him help other denizens of the woods… and even the times when he helped her; either by teaching her some of the ways of the wood, or merely talking to her when she needed it.

He was grouchy, a little bit rude, and undoubtedly one of the kindest creatures she had ever met.

Never would he let another animal go hungry, or lonely, or without a den to sleep in. Whatever he could offer, he did, and he never asked for anything in return. And despite his rudeness, he was never hurtful or mean, for he always sought to help with whatever he did. He had once told Fluttershy to never waste her words with cruelty. He had said, “Cruelty is a waste of wind, and we should never use such a great gift to hurt others.”

Looking at her friend now almost made her heart break. He was ragged; mostly form a lack of being able to take care of himself in his old age. Fluttershy had offered to assist him before, but he always refused, sticking to his pride as if it were glue. He refused any help in return, though he more than often forced his help on her.

“Hello Stripe! Feeling better today?” Fluttershy said in the happiest tone she could muster. She knew it was pointless, but she did it anyway.

She was met by a barely coherent response, hidden in a sea of coughing. He said that he actually was feeling a bit better today, though he still wished his rear wouldn’t hurt so much whenever he woke up. He was a simple raccoon, and desired only the simplest reliefs that life could offer him.

“Well, I’m sure your rear would feel better if you had some more leaves to lie on. Do you mind if I sit down?” Fluttershy asked.

Stripe motioned with his claw for her to do so, and Fluttershy crawled her way to the equivalent of the living room of the den. The roof here was much higher than anywhere else, and it was here that Fluttershy was able to sit down without having to lean forward from the cramped spaces everywhere else in the den. He had never told her why this area was so much more open, but she knew. In his spare time he had clawed away part of the ceiling to make more room for her. This was a bad idea, as it had opened up the space too much to keep the heat in, and had left the den colder. He had been acting foolish by doing that for her, but he cared little for her reprimands.

As Stripe hobbled over from his bed to sit across from her, Fluttershy took the moment to observe his bedding. He had been unable to change it since the last time she was here, and the leaves he slept on were old and dried from their age. She should have come sooner to change it for him… she wished she could have done that for him.

Today was the day, and today was too late.

Stripe Finally arrived at his place across from Fluttershy, and upon reaching there he took the moment to ask how she had been. He had to repeat himself though, as she could not understand what he was saying through his coughs.

“Oh, I’m fine. I’m just glad to see you doing so well. How is everything else going?”

Stripe made his answer, and she conversed back. This continued for some time, but throughout it all Fluttershy was not able to keep herself in the moment. She just kept analyzing the situation as they spoke.

Every moment his coughing grew worse, and by the look of things, he grew weaker. She was barely able to talk to the raccoon she had once frolicked through the night lit paths with, all because he was too old to continue.

As his health had declined, Stripe had been unable to continue his assistance of the members of the forest community which he had played such a large role in. Animals had come in contact less with him, and it now seemed to Fluttershy like the whole world had forgotten that he even existed.

It was too much to bear. She loved Stripe with all her heart, and to see him crumble like this was one of the most appalling and cruel testaments of nature than she had ever witnessed. If only she could change fate… if only she could change life…

The den grew darker, and Fluttershy knew that the clouds had finally rolled beyond the sun, leaving the land and her world in the dim grey of the coming storm.

Stripe didn’t notice, however, and he continued to converse, through coughs, the great reminiscences of his life, and how much different the world was today from how it had been when he was young.

He would have continued talking, but he was quite suddenly surprised by the loudest clap of thunder that he had ever heard. It had shaken the world with its reverberations, and had been preceded only by a bright flash far in the distance.

The moment the thunder hit, Fluttershy knew…

Today was the day… oh sweet Celestia… today was the day!

In moments Stipe, Fluttershy’s friend, was on the floor; overtaken by a fit of coughs greater than any other. In the next moment, Fluttershy was by his side, leaning holding his head up with her hoof.

“Oh, Stripe! I’m so sorry! You have to get through this!” She yelled.

He continued his fit of coughing, which was getting weaker… but by now he knew. Seeing the look in her eyes told him everything.
After what seemed like an eternity of coughing, there was a pause. A moment of absolute peace in which Stripe could clearly breathe, a moment which had come too late. He could feel his heart stopping, and he knew he did not have long.

“Fluttershy….”

“No! Don’t talk Stripe! You need to breathe right now, okay?” Fluttershy said in a panicked tone.

“Fluttershy…”

“Don’t give up! I need you to live! I need you to keep being here to talk to and play with and just be here when I need you! Don’t you dare stop fighting!”

He looked at her, with the sweetest look of affection on his bandit masked face. She was as close to him as a daughter… he had to make this right for her.

“Don’t…. feel… sad…”

“No! Please Don’t!” Fluttershy wailed. She knew this was going to happen, but it couldn’t! She couldn’t live through this! It was so much harder than any of the other deaths, with critters who she had only known by name. This was awful! Why did she have to do this!?
Because… it was her duty, and today was the day.

“Fluttershy…” Stripe said, drawing her attention to him.

Through her sobbing, she was able to speak… “Yes?”

“Don’t…… feel…….. sad………… I am a voice on the wind now……”

“Noooooooo!” she whined.

“Fluttershy?”

“Please don’t leave…”

“Goodbye……………..

His breathing gave out, his voice faded, his heart stopped. Stripe was wholly and utterly dead… and Fluttershy couldn’t stop crying.

On and on the sobbing went, and though thunder crashed in the background, the rain did not fall.

For an eternity she cried over her friend… wishing it all away… wishing one of HER friends could be here… wishing that he could have stayed longer… wishing that she had visited sooner… There were a million wishes she had, and all of them were gone.

Lost on the wind, with him.

Eventually, Fluttershy stopped crying, the tears simply would not come anymore. She sat there in silence for a long time… until she heard something outside.

It was a humming, not like the wind in the trees, but like actual voices. Fluttershy stepped outside of the den… and she saw.
The ground was dry, the sky was dark, and thunder still rumbled in the air. But she did not hear any of this, all she could hear, was the trees…. Singing.

Every branch, every nook and cranny, every bush was filled with the animals of the forest, and all of them were humming. It was without melody… without anything but a drone, whose sound flowed on the wind like the sweetest music.

The forest had never forgotten Stripe… and now it was saying goodbye.

She understood… now he was a voice on the wind, and the wind would never lose him from its memory.

Fluttershy turned back to the den. She wished that she could leave this story right there but she couldn’t. She had one last duty.

It was her duty… her burden.

The burden of all the living…

To bury the dead… and to give them to the wind, that they may be remembered.

Fluttershy re-entered the den, to give her friend her final goodbye.

In the sky above, the thunder crashed one last time…

And the rain finally fell.