Hold It

by Summer Dancer

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Other, Starlight Glimmer, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2897

Being locked in a small, confined house for several hours wouldn't be so bad, if there was a bathroom to use.

Being locked in a small, confined house for several hours wouldn't be so bad, if there was a bathroom to use. And Pinkie Pie needs to go badly.

Season 5 spoilers!!!

Published 2015-04-07 05:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-07 05:50:02 UTC

Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now

Night began to settle in as the bearers of harmony lie in wait inside the small and confined jail cell. The annoying voice over the megaphones droned on, slowly seeping into their brains.

Rainbow Dash sighed and lay on her back against the floor, staring out of one of the slanted windows.

Out of all the villains she and her friends had faced, she still couldn’t wrap her head around how this seemingly ordinary unicorn could overpower them so easily. She didn’t have fangs, or horns, or laser beams. Heck, she didn’t even seem that much older than they are. Not even Tirek, the Princesses’ oldest and most powerful foe, could even touch Twilight’s magic without her consent…more or less.

The pegasus closed her eyes, her lower lip curling into a pout. She had been itching for an epic monster battle all day, almost wishing something dangerous would happen. There was nothing more thrilling than a new challenge. But here, now, without her cutie mark, she just wanted to get out of here. This was going to be a long night, that was for sure.

“Psst! Rainbow Dash!”

Rainbow’s head turned and saw Pinkie Pie sitting beside her, her hooves tucked underneath her body. She had a desperate look in her eyes.

“Yeah, Pinkie?”

“I...have a problem…”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “No duh. I think we all have a problem on our hooves.”

“No…it’s not that… I think…” She swallowed hard. “I really gotta go!”

Rainbow’s eyes snapped open and sat up straight. “What, right now!?”

Pinkie’s head bobbed up and down. “Uh huh!”

“Well, hold it!”

“I can’t!”

“Well you better!”

Pinkie sat up and crossed her back legs, rocking back and forth. “But I need to goooo!”

Twilight turned her head. “What was that?”

“Pinkie thinks she needs to go to the bathroom,” Rainbow said curtly, shooting a pointed gaze at the dull pink mare. “But she’s going to hold it, because she can. Right, Pinkie Pie?”

Pinkie shook her head violently. “No! I can’t! I NEED TO GO!”

Applejack lifted the tip of her hat from her face. “I don’t know why they didn’t just build a bathroom. How’d they expect us to escape? Through the toilet?”

Rarity grimaced. “Applejack, that’s disgusting!”

“Can’t hold it back…” Pinkie moaned.

Rainbow Dash sprung to her hooves. “Oh, no you don’t! You’re not going in here! Not now!”

Fluttershy peeked out of a window. “Maybe they’ll let you out for a bathroom break. It couldn’t hurt, could it?”

Rarity harrumphed. “Considering all they've done to us today, I wouldn’t be surprised. But I suppose it’s worth a shot…” Out in the street, they saw a lone pony wandering through the town. “Oh—yoo-hoo! Yes, you, with the strong jaw! Could you please come here for a moment? It won’t take long!”

The pony paused before trotting up to their window. Double Diamond smiled wide as he stared at them. “Yes?”

“Pinkie Pie needs to…relieve herself,” Rarity explained. “Would you mind terribly if you could take her to the restroom?”

Double’s smile faltered only for a second. “I’m sorry. But it’s not my place to let out any of you without Starlight saying so. I’m afraid Pinkie will have to hold it until morning.”

Pinkie’s head appeared behind the other window. “Pleeeaaase…” she moaned. “I…can’t hold it…anymore!”

“I’m sorry, but—"

“What seems to be the trouble here?”

Double Diamond turned and the imprisoned mares craned their necks in order to see Starlight Glimmer strolling towards them.

Twilight frowned, knowing the cruel intentions behind that sickly sweet smile the unicorn had on her face, but managed to remain civil. “Please let our friend out, just for a few minutes. She needs to go to the bathroom.”

“Does she?” Starlight hummed, feigning sympathy. “Hmm, that’s too bad. But I’m afraid that’s not possible.”

Applejack scowled. “Whaddaya mean, that’s not possible? All she wants is to go to the bathroom! She won’t do nothin’, will you Pinkie?”

Pinkie shook her head, beads of sweat running down her face.

Starlight clicked her tongue. “I’m sorry, but rules are rules! Nopony leaves until sunrise.” She beamed happily. “Maybe then, you’ll reconsider and join us. Maybe not all of you, but you will soon. Very soon.”

Rainbow Dash bared her teeth. “Do you want a puddle on the floor or not!?”

Starlight glanced up at her, raising an unamused eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

“Do you want a puddle on the floor, or not?” the athlete repeated.

“Your friend will be fine,” Starlight said flatly.

She turned to Pinkie with a smile that couldn’t possibly more fake. “Just so you know, any sort of damage to the room will result in a penalty! Try to keep your mind off it, and the night will flow right on by. Keep in mind though, if you do accept our philosophy, the floodgates of opportunity in this little paradise will burst wide open.”

“Ohhh…”

“Just try not to think about strong waterfalls, or mid summer’s rain.”

Pinkie Pie sunk to the floor and gritted her teeth while the others shot daggers at the unicorn. Starlight turned to the pony beside her. “Double Diamond, this town has a certain curfew, does it not?”

“Yes Starlight,” he gulped, and started trotting home. Starlight turned her head, flashing a grin. “Have a pleasant night, my future citizens!” she trilled as she left.

“In your dreams!” Rainbow shouted after her.

“I’m not gonna survive the night!” Pinkie squeaked, rocking back and forth.

“You had better!” Rarity said in a threatening tone.

Twilight groaned. “What’s the matter, Twi?” Applejack asked, concerned.

The princess of friendship curled up in a tight little ball. “Ohh...now I have to go!” she moaned.

“So do I,” Fluttershy said regretfully.

Rainbow threw her hooves in the air. “Come ON!!!”

Rarity ground her teeth together, the stress of the day getting the better of her. “I swear if ANY of you go in here, I will destroy ALL OF YOU!”

"You can't do this to us!" Pinkie wailed, even though she knew Starlight was out of hearing range. "We're the friendship police!"

“Now, now,” Applejack said calmly. “Let’s not lose our heads here. Let’s just try to find a way to keep our minds off it, and stick it out ‘till dawn.”

Rainbow Dash sighed exasperatingly. “But there’s nothing to do in here!”

“Welp, you’d best think of something to do. It’ll be okay. All we have to do is hold it until tomorrow comes, and we’ll be righter than…uh…” She frowned. “…a rooster in…uh…aw, ya’ll know what I mean.”

“Easier said than done,” Rarity mumbled, sitting down.

For the next several hours, everypony did whatever they could to suppress that burning urge to go. Twilight kept herself busy by trying to think of a way out of the room.

“To excel is to fail.”

Fluttershy stared at the posters on the wall, trying to think of only solid things.

“Be your best by never being your best.”

Rainbow Dash, Rarity and Applejack decided to try to sleep it off.

“You’re no better than your friends.”

Pinkie Pie buried herself in a book, flipping page after page. All of the pages bore the equal sign, but flipping the pages was better than doing nothing. Wasn’t it?

“Choose equality as your special talent.”

As the hours dragged on, Pinkie slowly became entranced with the equal sign with every page she turned.

Flip, flip.

All she knew was the equal sign.

Flip, flip.

The equal sign was her buddy.

Flip, flip.

Her confidant.

Flip, flip, flip.

Perhaps, this could be her new talent.

Flip.

Fun was overrated.

Flip, flip.

Maybe equality wasn’t so bad…The party mare shook her head. Ugh. What was I thinking?

More hours passed, and everyone had fallen asleep, save Twilight. She stared at the clock, which was slowly ticking by. I wonder if that’s broken… we have to get out of here…hee hee…you don’t have much time left. Clock is ticking, Twilight. Clock. Is. TICKING!! Ack! No! Stay focused. Be strong. You can do this…we’ll get our cutie marks back…its fine….it’ll all be fine….

By the next morning, Twilight had found a way in how to get their cutie marks back, with the help of Fluttershy. By the time Starlight let them out, everyone’s urges to go to the bathroom were completely forgotten.

All that mattered was that Starlight believed that the quiet pegasus had changed her mind completely, and was ready to join their society. And it worked. It wasn’t long before they were sent back inside the house to ‘Think’ about their decision. The girls were genuinely surprised to see Party Favor being sent in after them. And thus begins night two, Pinkie thought.

Throughout the day, the five mares bore down on Party Favor, explaining to him about how being unique can be a good thing. They shared their friendship stories with him, talked about how they each got their cutie marks, and how their differences made their friendship stronger. Pinkie Pie was glad they had something else to do besides looking thought those books. In fact, it was kind of fun…sort of.

By the time night fell, Party Favor became very conflicted, and was very much on edge. Between betraying the village, being locked up, and listening to these five mares gabbing on and on about the magic of friendship, he was certain he was going stir crazy. And he wasn’t the only one.

“And that’s why you should never anger a hydra, Party Favor,” Twilight grinned, pacing the room. The bags under her eyes were very much visible and her wide smile almost matched the villagers’. “Did we ever tell you about the time when the whole town was attacked by flying monkeys?...or was it parasprites?”

“Twilight’s losing it,” Rainbow Dash whispered in a sing song tone.

Rarity waved a hoof. “She’ll come out of it sooner or later.”

“I have to go again!” Pinkie said.

“WHAT?!” Rainbow shouted. “Why the hay didn’t you go when Starlight let us out?!”

“Because I didn’t have to go then!” Pinkie whined. “And I forgot…”

“Oh, for Pete’s sake…”

“Bats…vampire fruit bats…hundreds of them…I’m not sure what we learned that day…”

“When Granny finds out that I left for two days without so much as a note, she’ll be madder than a…uhhhh…”

“Such nice drapes…what have I become?!”

Party Favor sunk to the floor and covered his ears with his hooves. “I can’t take it! Please, make it stop!”

“Make what stop?” Pinkie asked standing over him.

“You…you girls are crazy! I think I’m going crazy!”

“Well, you can’t help that,” Pinkie joked. “We’re all mad here!” The equal sign on her flank glowed a dark aura. “Or not,” she said nonchalantly.

Party Favor looked at her curiously. “How do you stay so cheerful at a time like this?”

Pinkie flashed him a grin. “Because I’m still the spirit of Laughter, inside and out. It’s what I do!”

The equal sign glowed.

“…I think. What about you? What was your special talent?”

The Stallion’s ears folded back. “I don’t think I should talk about that. Mentioning my old talent is what got us in this mess in the first place.”

Pinkie’s eyes glittered dangerously. “Party Favor, I’m holding it the best I can, and I’ve reeeeaaally stuck to it for the past 32 hours, 20 minutes, and 15 seconds. I NEED something to distract me. NOW SPILL!”

Party Favor gulped. “O-Okay. Okay. I…I was a…a party pony.”

Pinkie brightened at the sound of that. “You’re kidding! So am I! Why would you ever want to quit being a party pony? It’s the best job in the world!”

Glow.

“…but that’s really up for debate.”

Party Favor sighed. “It’s a long story. Let’s just say that being different…can really annoy ponies sometimes…and they can shut you out at any time. Haven’t you ever had that problem?”

“I guess,” Pinkie said unsure. “Oooh, maybe you know Cheese Sandwich? He’s a party pony too! We should all get together sometime!”

Party Favor raised his eyebrows. “Cheese Sandwich? Wow. I haven’t heard that name in a loooong time. I don’t think we’ve ever met…and I don’t think we ever will.” The unicorn curled into a little ball. “Just accept it like I did Pinkie Pie. It’s better this way. Our partying days are over…all over…”

Pinkie Pie frowned as Party Favor started to space out and mumbled quietly to himself.

“Maybe we’ll talk later…”

The next morning came soon after, and it was glorious. Nopony had gotten much sleep this time around, but everyone was confident that today should be the day that Fluttershy got them out. Almost everyone.

“How do you know your plan will even work?” Party Favor said, almost tearful.

“We know because we trust Fluttershy,” Applejack stated.

“But if you have a better plan,” Rainbow cut in, “Then by all means, let’s hear it. Why don’t you try knocking the door down, and see what happens!”

“Yes,” Rarity agreed, fluffing her pale purple mane. “Be a stallion, Party Favor.”

“Oh-Oh no…I could never…”

Just then, the door swung open, and two beaming ponies escorted them outside. Starlight's overly cheerful voice cut through the morning air. “I have a good feeling about today!"

Pinkie Pie couldn’t care less about what the evil founder had to say. She still needed to go. Badly. Still, she wouldn't give into Starlight's philosophy. Before she knew it, they were marched right back inside the house, followed by Fluttershy.

While Party Favor rushed out and begged for forgiveness, Pinkie Pie quietly begged to go to the bathroom. “This is so not the time, Pinkie,” Rainbow Dash whispered back. After having a quick exchange, Fluttershy and Twilight stepped back outside together.

Rarity started nudging a tub of water towards the door, causing it t make a small splash. “Pinkie, help me with this tub!”

The earth pony groaned. “Whyyyyy…” But she helped with the tub anyway.

“Why ever would she want this?” Rarity grunted.

Fluttershy quickly stepped in grabbed the tub and lifted off the ground. “You’ll see.” She flew outside and shouted, “How do you explain this?!”

Pinkie’s eyes widened as she watched the entire tub of water splash onto the ground. You’re killing me here, Fluttershy…

Pinkie Pie thought she would die as she felt the crisp, wet snow beneath her hooves. She wanted so badly to take one second to go, but she knew there was a more important task at hand; catching Starlight Glimmer before she disappeared with their cutie marks. For good. Relief is temporary, cutie marks are forever. Relief is temporary, cutie marks are forever. CUTIE MARKS ARE TEMPORARY, RELEIF IS FORVER!

She’s GONE! Pinkie thought as Starlight vanished in a burst of blue light. Hmm. But she’ll be BACK. Wait! I can go now! But wait…I can’t go here! It’ll be embarrassing! But I can’t stand to walk all the way to the village! Oooh…

“And I finally have a chance to bake something besides terrible muffins!" Sugar Belle said with a giggle. Everyone laughed along with her. But this gave Pinkie Pie an idea. As everyone started towards the village, she zipped behind her fellow baker and hissed in her ear, “Sugar Belle! I’m going to pee behind you. Cover me!”

Sugar’s pupil’s shrunk. “Uh…wait, what?!”

“Hey guys!” Pinkie sang happily when she caught up with her friends.

“Howdy, Pinkie,” Applejack said. “Y’know, if you’re fast enough, you could go ahead and use the bathroom at the village.”

“Oh, there’s no need for that, A.J.,” Pinkie said with a bounce. “That’s already taken care of.”

The group stopped in their tracks. “What do you mean, it’s already taken care of?” Twilight asked apprehensively.

Pinkie gave an ominous shrug. “I don’t have that problem anymore. Just steer clear of the yellow snow.”

Everyone grimaced, except for Rarity, who shrieked. “EWWW! I might have already stepped in it! Oh, ew ew ew ew ew!” The unicorn dashed ahead of them, wanting to wash her hooves immediately.

“You could have waited, you know,” Fluttershy said disapprovingly as they resumed walking.

“I’m sorry, I just really had to go! And besides, don’t any of you have embarrassing bathroom stories that ended up like that?”

“Oh, I’ve got one,” Rainbow Dash said thoughtfully. “One day, I had to go, so I went inside a bathroom and went.” The pegasus laughed as Pinkie started chasing her.

“Are your friends always like this?” Night Glider asked. Party favor happily made a balloon Zebra beside her, and gave it to the traumatized Sugar Belle.

“Eeyup,” Applejack affirmed with a nod.

“And we wouldn’t have it any other way,” Twilight smiled.

Author's Note

Hee... Okay, In all seriousness, this was not meant to be too serious. I might have taken cough medicine before this, but what can you do. :twilightblush: I wrote this in 20 minutes flat, so If I made any mistakes, don't hesitate to point them out! Since everyone is joining the Season 5 bandwagon, I might as well hop on :rainbowdetermined2:

This is just a simple one-shot that popped into my head. After I finish La Vie En Rose, a chapter long story will be in order! I'm going to bed, goodnight! :pinkiehappy: