Twilight's Kitchen is Stocked With Semen

by SweetCelestiaWhy

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Spike, Random, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1556

Twilight's kitchen is loaded with an absurd amount of semen. Sequel to Twilight's Palace is Covered With Semen‏

Twilight and Rainbow Dash both did favors for Spike once.
The results both disgusted and amused each other, but they unknowingly started something beyond their control.
Now Pinkie wants in on the prank.
Nopony out-pranks Pinkie Pie.

Obvious sequel to Twilight's Palace is Covered With Semen.
I got permission from both Majin Syeekoh and AndThatsTerrible.
Now with a live reading. You have been warned.
Also has a sequel Black Pony's Twilight's Kingdom is smothered in semen. Again, you have been warned.
I regret nothing.

Published 2015-04-07 23:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-07 23:10:02 UTC

Like, This is Getting Ridiculous

Pinkie’s smile barely fit her face as Spike collapsed on the bed, breathing heavily. She licked her lips as she hopped off the bed, wincing a bit as her back legs inched apart and her tail pressed down. She took one hop but whinnied as she landed, causing Spike to sit up.

“You okay?” he asked.

“I’m a-okay!” she replied cheerfully, turning and smiling back at him. “Just not used to working this hard for a gag!”

Spike looked down sheepishly and said, “Why did you want to do this again? I mean, Rainbow Dash does need my help later, but she’s already going to prank Twilight.”

Pinkie hopped again and yelped as she slipped and hit the floor with a wet smack. Spike’s pupils shrunk as Pinkie began to crawl around, making some very interesting noises as she swam through the semen on the floor. The squishing was occasionally followed by the sounds of tin cans clinking, making Spike even more curious.

“Because Rainbow Dash can’t out-prank the best prankster in the history of prank-offs!” Pinkie squealed as she pulled herself up and a white glob dripped off her curly mane.

Spike’s jaw fell open as Pinkie watched it and giggled. She dipped her hoof into the pool of cum below and blew at it, making a small bubble on the tip of her hoof.

“It looks like I took a bath in frosting!” she said. “Again!”

“A bath? In frosting?” Spike asked, dumbstruck.

“Uh huh!” She flopped back, waving her hooves back and forth. “Took Mr. Cake months to build up his stock again, but it was totally worth it!”

“Mr. Cake?” Spike said, his eyes widening. “He allowed you to use up all his frosting?”

“Well, not just him, but he and Thunderlane made me promise not to tell Cloudchaser or Mrs. Cake about it,” Pinkie said, pausing in her frosting angel.

Spike’s jaw hung open before he shook his head, his mind spinning at the imagery. He figured Rainbow Dash would’ve been the most experienced with stallions, but apparently Pinkie was just as freaky; if not more-so than Rainbow.

“I guess that explains how you got me to do this so fast,” he muttered. “I mean, two stallions at once?”

Pinkie sat up and beamed back. “You’d be amazed how good that frosting felt!”

“Spike!” Twilight called, her eyes still glued to the page. “Where are you?”

Silence followed as Twilight kept reading, her horn glowing as she turned the page. Looking away, she peered down the the stairway and raised an eyebrow.

“Spike?” she repeated, rolling her legs off to the side of the bed. “Hey, it’s almost time for dinner! What do you want?”

More silence followed as Twilight furrowed her brow, pushing herself to her hooves. She shook her wings, fluffing the feathers stuck together before she walked over to the railing. Scanning the ground floor, she saw nothing but the familiar stack of books needing reorganizing and the crystal chairs.

“Spike?” she called once more, scrunching up her nose.

Groaning, she trudged over to the staircase, glaring at her eyebrows. Spike’s recent absences usually meant he was up to something, culminating with the most absolutely disgusting public relations nightmare she had ever experienced. Glancing around, she took an apprehensive step out into the main room.

“Spike, get your scaly ass out of that bathroom before you flood it again!” she yelled, her eye twitching slightly. “Get out here now or I’m not making you dinner!”

More silence followed as Twilight stood there, her wings spread and ears twitching. Dread filled her chest, but when no sounds came back, she released the breath she didn’t know she was holding.

“Well, he knows what will happen if I catch him doing anything in the bathroom again,” she mumbled, walking into the kitchen. “Or with Rainbow Dash.”

Twilight walked to her fridge and the door glowed with a magenta aura before it opened. Ducking her head inside, a few jars clinked and an exasperated sigh filled the silence.

“Great, just bucking great,” she said, gritting her teeth. “Spike didn’t do any of the shopping I asked him to do.”

Slamming the door shut, she glanced around the kitchen, her suspicious growing again.

“This has got to be a prank, I just know it,” she said, turning around and looking back into the main room.

Slowly, she stepped back, her horn alight. She only took about four steps before her rump bumped into something, causing her to yelp and spin. She readied a bolt of magic, but held it back once she realized she was staring at the pantry. Her stomach rumbled and she glanced back at the doorway, her heart rate slowing.

Tilting her head, she opened the door and her eyes shrunk as she saw a number of cans stacked perfectly to the top.

“What the?” she asked. “Did he spend all the bits I gave him on cans?”

Rolling her eyes, Twilight snorted as her horn glowed and plucked a can off the top. She raised a single eyebrow as she read the label.

“Cream of mushroom soup, huh?” she said. “At least he’s got good taste.”

Spinning around, she trotted over to the stove as a saucepan unhooked itself from the rack above it. Humming to herself, she turned back to the doorway and leaned over to look out it as the can lid popped open and the sound of the burner igniting floated over.

“Spike!” she called. “Thank you for the soup, but we need to talk about proper diet when you get in here!”

Smiling to herself, she thought about how to introduce him to a healthy meal before her she froze. Her pupils shrunk as the contents of the can slowly dribbled into the saucepan. While cream of mushroom soup was usually a mix of white and brown, the soup in this can was pure white.

“What the?” She leaned in to look at it closer.

Her eyebrow raised as she sniffed it, but her pupils shrunk again as she recognized the scent. It was the same smell she remembered from her bathroom… and the outside of her castle.

“What the buck!” she screamed as she threw the can away from her. The remaining jizz inside splattered across the countertop as a new scent assaulted her. Looking back at the saucepan, she realized the stove was still on and the contents were bubbling.

“Oh my Celestia!” she yelled as her magic grabbed the pan and she ran to the sink. The water immediately turned on and she shoved the pan underneath it, but the steam did little more than spread the acrid smell of cooked dragon cum.

Spinning, she looked back at the pantry, but she noticed a small gleam from behind a slightly ajar cupboard door. Her magic ripped the door from its hinges, revealing the cupboard to be chock-a-block full of as many cans as it could hold. Horrified, she rapidly opened all the other doors, only to be greeted by even more cans. The room began to spin as Twilight felt something snap in her mind.

Her kitchen was completely filled with canned semen.

“Spike, where the hell are you?” she roared as she tore into the main room, her eyes wild. “Get your ass out here now and explain this to me!”

She spun about and snorted like an enraged bull, a vein reappearing on her neck. The castle remained as empty as it had before, but a small puff came from behind her. Glaring behind, Twilight stared as a small scroll burned into existence on one of the thrones. Her magic covered the scroll and she ripped it open, snorting louder as she read.

Dear Twilight,

Gotcha!

Looking up, her eyes locked on the three balloons at the top of the seat. Her eye twitched as she dropped the scroll and darted back into the kitchen.

“You may want to leave now, Spike,” Pinkie said, giggling into her hooves.

Spike shifted on his claws, but he started to walk out the backdoor before turning back to her.

“Hey, if Twilight doesn’t kill you, can we do this again?” he asked.

Pinkie smiled and gave Spike a small hug.

“Anything for a friend!” she replied.

The door to Sugarcube Corner flew open, the bell jingling violently. Pinkie smiled to herself as she fluffed her mane before she rounded the corner, her usual smile on her face.

“Welcome to Sugarcube Cor--” she managed to say before a tin can smashed into the wall next to her, spraying white dragon semen onto the wall.

“Pinkie!” Twilight screamed. “I am going to bucking kill you!”

Pinkie stuck out her tongue as another can flew at her and she ducked behind the counter. She felt it lodge into her mane and she fished it out, tossing aside a squeaker.

“Ooooh! Sweetened condensed milk! I’m glad you didn’t bake anything!” she called out.

Twilight yelled as she dragged a sack full of cans into the establishment, her eye twitching wildly.

“Then taste this creamed corn!” she yelled.

The can flew at the counter and dented as it hit the edge, spraying semen around the room. Below, Pinkie giggled once more.

“Already did, Twilight,” she whispered to herself.