sPxHoLEic ~ A Great And Powerful Friendship ~

by MythrilMoth

Rating: teen
Tags: Trixie, Spike, Comedy, Starlight Glimmer, Sex, Sunset Shimmer, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 38217

Trixie moves in with Twilight and Spike and becomes the Princess of Friendship's first pupil.

After her rather embarrassing accident with an improvised shrinking spell, Trixie decides to make herself scarce for a while. When she returns to Ponyville, everything has changed--the library is gone, and Twilight Sparkle has a brand new giant tree castle.

Determined to pursue the secrets of becoming an alicorn princess, Trixie moves into Twilight's castle, where she routinely engages in--and usually causes--wacky hijinks for herself, Princess Twilight, and especially Spike.

Can Spike survive Trixie's attempts to learn the magic of friendship?

A story which intersects (and occasionally will supercede) the events of season five.

(Note: This is NOT a crossover with any CLAMP property, or anything else for that matter.)

Commissioned by TheGreatEater.

Published 2015-04-12 00:40:04 UTC
Last updated 2017-03-31 17:35:45 UTC

A Great And Powerful Disciple!

Trixie hummed lightly to herself as she stepped off the train. She took several steps onto the bustling platform, looked around at the milling crowd, drew herself up, and proclaimed:

"FINALLY! THE GRRRREAT! AND POWERFUL! TRRRRRRRRIXIE!HASRETURNED TO PONYVILLE!!"

A group of teenage mares burst into snickers.

A foal tugged at his mother's tail and pointed at her.

An old donkey stared at her, rolled his eyes, and shook his head.

The conductor coughed. "Move along, miss," he said gruffly.

Trixie sniffed daintily. "Trixie will move when Trixie is good and ready to move! Trixie will have you know she has important business with Twilight Sparkle!"

"Uh-huh."

Trixie tossed her mane disdainfully and trotted off the platform. "Just you wait, Princess Twilight Sparkle," she said. "Trixie will have the secrets of becoming an alicorn, or Trixie will die trying!" Several steps later, she paused. "Trixie wonders if Twilight Sparkle's caustic pet dragon is still upset about that whole shrinking spell business..."

Four months ago, Trixie had moved into the Golden Oak Library with Princess Twilight Sparkle and her dragon assistant, Spike. During that brief stay at the library, Trixie had realized just how much she still had to learn about magic. The fact that Twilight Sparkle was now an alicorn had been jarring enough, but witnessing, on an hourly basis, the sheer power of Twilight's magic had been a wake-up call for Trixie.

It wasn't the first time Twilight's power had shaken Trixie to her core, of course. Still, Trixie believed herself capable of anything Twilight Sparkle could do. After all, she wanted it with every fiber of her being. She wanted the power, the praise, the glory...

The friends...

Trixie shook herself and ambled up the road. It would be nice, she mused, to see the old library tree again. After an unfortunate mishap with an unintentional shrinking spell and a sequence of humiliating events which culminated in Trixie spending half an afternoon with a shrunken baby dragon stuffed up her foal hole, Trixie had decided to take a break from her studies and go back on the road. She'd been performing her old routine, minus the old boasting, for packed crowds in Manehattan, Fillydelphia, Hoofston, Las Pegasus, and even Unicornassus, but the thought of returning to Ponyville to study under Twilight Sparkle was never far from her mind.

As humiliating as it was to think of herself as a student to that prissy purple upstart, Trixie couldn't deny that she'd need Twilight's help if she were ever going to have all the power and glory she desired.

Besides, the Golden Oak Library was the closest thing Trixie had had to a home since she was a filly...

She came to an abrupt stop when she realized that she was standing in front of the Golden Oak Library...and yet there was no Golden Oak Library. Just a charred, broken, burned-out stump of a hollow tree sticking up out of the ground, roped off, with 'KEEP OUT' signs posted around it. "What...?" Trixie reached out with her magic and grabbed the nearest passing pony. "What happened to Twilight Sparkle's library?"

The pony, a mint green unicorn, glared at her; her own horn lit up, and she broke free of Trixie's magic. "You're that nutcase that enslaved Ponyville that one time," she said.

"Yes, Trixie enslaved Ponyville, Trixie is very sorry about that, but more importantly, what happened to the library?! Where is Twilight Sparkle?!"

The mint green unicorn frowned and pointed behind her. "The library burned down weeks ago. Princess Twilight lives over there now."

Trixie's eyes followed the mint green hoof...and widened in surprise, even as her jaw scraped the ground. "Where did THAT come from?"

"Yeah...it kinda just showed up one day," the other unicorn said with a shrug. "You get used to it." She headed off down the road, leaving Trixie to gape at the enormous crystal castle which sparkled in the sun.

Shaking her head in disbelief, Trixie cantered up the long, dusty road to the edge of town, her eyes never leaving the sparkling spires of Twilight Sparkle's castle.

* * * * *

"Aaaand let's put the updated enchanted globe of the Moon over...there," Twilight said.

Spike groaned and picked up the heavy globe, which had a solid brass stand and was made of an actual piece of the Moon, and carried it from the corner of the new library where it had been stashed away, clear to the other side of the cavernous crystal room. "You know, Twilight," he grunted, "this kind of thing...you should really be using...your magic for..." He set the globe down with a loud THUNK and plopped down, panting.

"But I'm busy!" Twilight protested.

Spike looked over to see Twilight with her face buried in a copy of the Ponyville Gazette. He arched an eyebrow. "Twilight...you're doing the crossword puzzle."

Twilight looked up. "Well...it's...!" She cast about for a good excuse, then let out a frustrated groan. "Fine! I'll move the next stupidly heavy thing Celestia sends us from Canterlot, okay?"

"But...that was the last stupidly heavy thing," Spike said.

The castle reverberated with the sound of the magical crystal gong which rang out every time somepony approached the front gates. "Maybe that's some more stupidly heavy things now!" Twilight said cheerfully. "Why don't you go see who that is?"

Spike glared at her. "Seriously?"

"Spiiiiike," Twilight said.

Spike sighed. "Fine." He got up and toddled off in the direction of the front gates, thankful that the library was on one of the lower levels of the castle.

Seven minutes later, an exhausted Spike stood before the great crystal doors. With effort, he opened them. As soon as he saw who was on the other side, he slammed them shut again.

The doors glowed and opened. "How DARE you keep a mare waiting?" Trixie snapped, sweeping her cape around her with a flourish as she pushed past Spike and into the foyer. She looked around, critically examining the lower tier of the crystal tree castle. "Twilight Sparkle's obsession with trees continues to confound Trixie," she said. "The library was quaint, even comfortable...Trixie rather liked it. Why has Twilight Sparkle abandoned it in favor of this...this..." She trailed off. "This is strange even by Ponyville's standards."

"If you don't like it, feel free to leave," Spike said, crossing his arms.

"And hello to you too, Spork," Trixie said.

"Spike. It's Spike."

"Yes, of course it is." She turned to face him. "Well? Where IS Her Royal Highness?"

"Upstairs in the library," Spike said. He walked off toward the great spiral stairs; Trixie followed him.

"Trixie has only been away for a few months," Trixie said. "How is it possible for such a massive, strange castle to have been constructed in such a short time?"

"It wasn't built so much as grown out of the ground," Spike said. "It's a long story."

"And what happened to the old library?" Trixie asked.

Spike paused on the stairs. "It...it got blown up," he said quietly. "Tirek blew it up."

"Tirek?" Trixie tilted her head. "That horrid centaur that went all over Equestria stealing magic?"

"Yeah."

Trixie's brow furrowed. "Did...did Twilight Sparkle vanquish that evil beast?"

"Not by herself," Spike said. "Her friends helped. And then they got this castle." He turned to face Trixie. "Listen...don't ask Twilight about Tirek or the library, okay? It's...it's kind of a sensitive subject. We...lost everything we owned when the library blew up."

Trixie's ears wilted. "I...I believe I know how that feels," she said quietly. "I've...I've had everything I owned destroyed...more than once." She swallowed. "Very well. I won't ask about the library." She frowned, looking around. "Still...it does rather seem to Trixie as though Twilight Sparkle came out ahead. As usual."

"What are you even doing back here?" Spike wondered as he started up the steps again. "After that whole...thing that happened last time," he said with a shudder, "we just assumed you were gone for good."

"Trixie did say she would be returning after a brief tour of Equestria!" Trixie said. "Trixie left a note and everything!"

"Huh. Never saw it." Spike shrugged.

"In any event, Trixie has returned to resume her studies with Twilight Sparkle," Trixie said. "It is still Trixie's intention to learn the secrets of Twilight Sparkle's power and surpass her."

Spike snorted. "Yeah. You do that."

"I see you have not lost that sharp tongue in Trixie's absence."

Spike rolled his eyes, turned left at the next landing, and walked through an open door. "Hey Twilight, look who's back. It's the Great and Pitiful Dripsie."

Twilight looked up from her crossword. "Oh, hey Trixie. Welcome back. Like the new castle?"

"It is...very large and very...crystally." Trixie looked around. "It does not suit you, Twilight Sparkle."

Twilight sighed. "Yeah...I've been thinking the same thing. I miss my library..." She shook her head. "Anyway...I take it you're back to study magic with me again?"

"Trixie has returned to further research the secrets of your power, that she may surpass you," Trixie said, tilting her nose up.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Just...try not to shove Spike up your filly flute this time, okay?"

Trixie's cheeks turned red. "Trixie has no intention of allowing that scaly scalawag anywhere NEAR her...intimate areas!"

"Thank Celestia for that," Spike muttered. "Twilight? Can I talk to you alone for a minute?"

"Sure, Spike." Twilight floated a book seemingly at random off a shelf and offered it to Trixie. "Here, settle in and read while we talk." With that, Twilight teleported herself and Spike to her own bedroom.

"SHE CAN'T STAY!" Spike shouted as soon as they were alone. "She's completely loco in the coco! Four fruit bats shy of a rainbow! Her brains are as scrambled as the eggs we had for breakfast!"

Twilight laughed softly and paced back and forth. "Look, Spike...I know Trixie is...eccentric..."

"Pinkie Pie is eccentric. Trixie is screwed up."

"Spike," Twilight said, "she's really not that bad. I mean, she's changed a lot since the first time she was in Ponyville. And the second."

"She hasn't changed that much," Spike muttered.

Twilight sat down. "You're just mad because the last two times Trixie's been in Ponyville, she's caused trouble for you."

Spike snorted. "Gee, you think?"

"Well get over it, because I'm making Trixie my new project!" Twilight declared. "AND yours."

"How's that now?"

Twilight stood up and began pacing again. "I'm a Princess now, Spike. I'm still learning what that means, but...Celestia took me in as her student. Maybe...maybe if I take Trixie on as my student, I'll learn more about my own role in Equestria as the Princess of Friendship, and Trixie will learn things she didn't expect to learn." Twilight smiled. "Trixie can be my first official student of the magic of friendship!"

Spike snorted. "Good luck with that."

"And you," Twilight said, "are going to help me." She smirked. "After all, what's a friendship student without a friend?"

Spike spluttered. "Friend?! Are you wacked?! I can barely stand to be in the same room with that nut!"

Twilight arched an eyebrow. "Then you need a friendship lesson too."

Spike rolled his eyes. "Like I haven't learned every friendship lesson you've learned," he muttered. "Including that some ponies just can't be friends."

Twilight sighed. "Doesn't Trixie deserve a chance? Besides, she's harmless. She's just...goofy." She shook her head. "And she really does have potential. I was impressed by some of her spells...I think with a little practice and a lot of tutoring, she could be a great unicorn."

"I wouldn't hold my breath."

Twilight sat down. "There's...another reason I'd like to teach Trixie," she said quietly.

"Oh yeah? What's that?" Spike asked.

Twilight looked troubled. "Starlight Glimmer is still out there. She's still dangerous. It'd be good to have another versatile, talented unicorn I can depend on. I don't think Celestia's Royal Guard are enough to handle her, but maybe with a few unicorns who are her equal, she can be brought down."

Spike frowned. "Yeah, I still can't believe she just got away from you girls."

"She caught us all by surprise," Twilight admitted. "And...honestly? She's sick. It's like she's a walking embodiment of...of anti-friendship." She sighed. "So...do me this favor? Help me out with Trixie?"

Spike sighed. "Yeah, alright." He gave Twilight an aside glance. "But you know, this whole Starlight Glimmer problem would be a lot easier to solve if you just brought Sunset Shimmer back to Equestria. The two of you? You'd have her in the dungeons in Canterlot in a day."

"The thought had crossed my mind," Twilight said. "And I'm not ruling out the possibility of asking for her help. But let's give Trixie a chance first. What's the worst that could happen?"

And with that, they teleported back to the library...

...and found themselves face to face with a rampaging book golem.

Author's Note

And so begin the ongoing misadventures of Trixie, Spike, and Twilight!

As this is a commissioned work, expect approximately two chapters a month.

A Great And Powerful Librarian!

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

A Great And Powerful Matchmaker!

Twilight sat at her desk, finishing up her schedule for the week. Outside, the stars twinkled in the sky.

A pegasus guard landed on her balcony and knocked on the crystal wall.

She looked up. "Yes?"

The guard bowed. "Your Highness, I've been sent to update you on that matter. Word has been spread as far as Manehattan."

"Thank you," Twilight said primly. The guard flew off.

Twilight sighed. "Some Princess of Friendship I am," she murmured. She stared down at her schedule and thought back to the train ride back to Ponyville after their encounter with Starlight Glimmer...

"So, Twilight," Rainbow Dash asked, "What're we gonna do about Starlight Glimmer?"

Twilight sighed. "I don't know, Rainbow Dash," she said. "I'm hoping that she'll think about what she did here and realize what true friendship is..."

"Uh, Twilight? I...don't think that's ever gonna happen," Pinkie Pie said in an uncharacteristically serious tone. "I don't know if you noticed? But...Starlight Glimmer is kind of, well...insane. And not the fun kind of insane. The bad kind of insane. Like, axe murderer insane."

"I agree with Pinkie Pie, darling," Rarity said. "Starlight Glimmer is far too dangerous to be allowed to roam free. If she isn't dealt with, more ponies could suffer what we've just been through...what she put all those innocent ponies through."

By the time the train pulled into Ponyville Station, Twilight's friends had convinced her that Starlight Glimmer was one pony friendship couldn't save. The next day, she reported to Princess Celestia. After explaining the entire situation, she asked her former mentor for advice.

"Princess Twilight, while I am the ruler of Equestria, you are now a Princess, and as such, you must be charged with ALL duties that come with that title. Including, I'm afraid, the less pleasant ones. As the matter of Starlight Glimmer first came to your attention, the decision as to how she should be handled falls to you." She leaned forward. "What do you think is the right thing to do?"

Twilight swallowed, but forced herself to stand calm and tall. With a resigned sigh, she said, "I think...Starlight Glimmer is dangerous, and...and she should be...locked away where she can never hurt another pony."

Celestia nodded. "I happen to agree. You may use my study to sign the arrest warrant, if you like. I have a stack of them in a drawer in my desk."

With a heavy heart, Twilight had signed and stamped an arrest warrant for Starlight Glimmer, then flown back to her castle and cried herself to sleep. Since then, she'd been receiving regular updates from the Canterlot Royal Guard as word of the fugitive status of Starlight Glimmer was spread through the major population centers of Equestria.

Twilight thought back to what Spike had said the day Trixie had returned. She had to admit to herself that Spike had the right idea. While she certainly intended to teach Trixie everything she could, to turn her around and make her...well...more like her...when it came down to it, she doubted Trixie would stand much of a chance against Starlight Glimmer if push came to shove. Not at her present level. And there was no telling what she was up to, out there, in the vastness of Equestria...

And, as long as she was being honest with herself...she really wanted to talk to the one pony she knew would really understand what she was going through.

Looking over her schedule, Twilight frowned and made some adjustments. She then levitated the special magical journal from its place in her desk, inked her quill, and wrote:

Dear Sunset Shimmer,
I'd like for you to come to Equestria at your earliest convenience for a visit. There's something I'd like your opinion on, but it's too complicated to get into like this. There's no hurry, so don't rearrange your schedule on my account. Ideally, I'd like you to be able to stay for at least two or three days. Please write back soon.

Your friend,
Princess Twilight Sparkle

With a sigh, she floated the journal back into her desk, set her quill aside, and decided to call it a night.

* * * * *

It was the middle of the afternoon, and already all Rarity wanted to do was close shop for the day, lock herself in her room with a carton of vanilla oat swirl, and nom her troubles away.

And it was all because of the unicorn mare presently infesting her boutique.

"Hmm. Yes. This pleases Trixie." Trixie studied herself in the large mirrors. She wore a sweeping, high-collared dusk purple cape with a sapphire fastener, with her Cutie Mark embroidered on the flank, detailed with tiny baby blue sapphires. A matching hat, wide-brimmed and extra floppy, sat atop her head. The outfit was darker, simpler, and less eyecatching than her usual showmare attire—which was exactly what she had wanted. The lower-hanging cape, the floppier hat with the wider brim, and the lack of stars and other decorations was, according to Trixie, "more professional and serious", and gave her more of a "Mare of Mystery" appeal. "Perhaps you do have some degree of skill in this area."

"So glad you approve," Rarity said, giving her a level stare.

Trixie's horn glowed; the cape parted, her saddlebag opened, and a bag full of golden bits floated out, jingling as it landed on the table next to Rarity.

Rarity's expression instantly changed to a smile born of professional courtesy. "If you ever need repairs, alterations, or accessories, be sure to come back again!"

"Trixie will keep that in mind." With a flourish of her new cape, Trixie swept around in a circle and trotted for the door. "Trixie bids you farewell!"

As the door closed behind her, Rarity narrowed her eyes. "Rarity hopes you eat a bad apple and get the Trots." With a sigh, she swept the bag of bits into the till. "At least she pays well..."

* * * * *

Trixie returned to Twilight Sparkle's castle to find the princess herself in the throne room, flying around the massive tree-root chandelier, a wistful smile on her face. Twilight noticed her and swooped down, landing a few paces away. "Is that a new cape?" Twilight asked. "It looks nice!"

"Yes, it does suit Trixie," Trixie said. "Your friend Rarity may have many faults, but she does excel in making Trixie even more magnificent."

Twilight groaned. "Good grief." Shaking her head, she trotted toward the dining room. "Spike's about to bring out an afternoon snack. He's made his famous triple-decker nut-crazy vanilla cream cookies!"

Trixie blinked. "Those sound...appealing," she said.

"He hasn't made them in a while," Twilight said. "I'm so excited!" She pranced off to the dining room. Trixie followed in her wake.

In the opulently-decorated dining room, they found Spike setting out a large platter of cookies, as well as cups and a jug of milk. He looked up and frowned. "Aw man, she came back?"

"I was gone less than two hours!" Trixie cried, stamping a hoof. "I just went into town to pick up some things!"

Spike rolled his eyes. He blinked. "That a new cape? Did you get it from Rarity?"

"Indeed."

"Thought so." Spike smirked. "Only Rarity could make you halfway tolerable to look at."

"Spiiiiike," Twilight growled. "Be nice." She seated herself, plated three cookies each on three tea saucers, filled three cups with milk, and set them around the table.

Trixie sat down, picked up a cookie, and took a bite. Her eyes widened. "Oh. This...this is excellent."

"Thanks," Spike said. "They're my own recipe."

"Well this explains why you're not getting anywhere with Rarity," Trixie said as she took a huge bite of cookie. "She doesn't want to get any fatter than she already is."

"Rarity is NOT fat!" Spike cried. "No more cookies for you!"

"YES more cookies for Trixie!" Trixie insisted. "And...very well, Rarity is not fat." She took a sip of milk. Seeing the mollified look on Spike's face, she added, "She simply has a well-rounded posterior."

Twilight rolled her eyes as Spike fumed. She bit into a cookie, then examined it with a sigh. Spike looked over at her. "Something wrong with the cookies, Twilight?"

"Oh...no, the cookies are perfect as always," Twilight said. "It's just...I was looking at the memory charms in the throne room, and thinking..." She tilted the cookie in her aura. "You made a batch of these for us just before Owlowiscious came to live at the library, remember?"

Spike scratched the side of his head. "Huh. I guess?"

"It's just...I was thinking about Owlowiscious," Twilight said sadly. "He hasn't come back...I wonder where he is, what he's doing..."

"That owl that was always sleeping somewhere in the library?" Trixie asked. "Trixie assumed it was one of the many transient animals that infest this town."

"Nah, Owlowiscious was Twilight's pet...well, adopted pet. Sort of?" Spike shrugged. "He just showed up out of nowhere one night and stuck around for a long time."

"But when Tirek destroyed the library, Owlowiscious flew away," Twilight said. "I haven't seen him since."

"Take heart, Twilight Sparkle," Trixie said. "I'm certain your little bird friend is safe and sound, wherever he is." She tilted her head as she took another bite of cookie. "There is that large, spooky forest nearby. Perhaps he moved there?"

"Could be," Spike said. "I'm pretty sure that's where he came from in the first place."

"I know Owlowiscious can take care of himself," Twilight said. "I just...miss him."

In the heavy, silent, melancholy atmosphere that followed, Trixie cleared her throat. "So, Spike...are you still chasing the tail of that marshmallow with hooves?"

Spike glared at her. "If you mean Rarity, then..."

Trixie stuffed a cookie in his mouth with her magic. "Trixie finds it curious," she said, "that she has never seen you wearing a stitch of clothing."

Spike crunched down the cookie, frowning. "I wear clothes sometimes. Just, y'know, not often. I mean, it's Ponyville."

Trixie shrugged. "It simply occurs to Trixie that the true path to that mare's heart might well be through her love of fashion. She has made her hatred of Trixie plain, and yet she was willing enough to design a new costume for Trixie when sufficiently motivated with bits."

"Well, she does own a dress shop. Making clothes is, y'know, her business..."

"And any business has the right to refuse service for any reason," Trixie said primly. "Yet Trixie was not turned away at the door." Trixie bit into a cookie. "Trixie simply wonders if perhaps frequenting her business as a customer might raise your standing in her eyes."

Spike blinked. "That's...actually not a bad idea," he said. "I'll have to check my piggy bank, but..." He hopped off his chair and toddled off, muttering under his breath.

Once he left the dining room, Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Alright, Trixie. I'll bite. What the hay was that all about?"

Trixie rolled her eyes. "Trixie is growing fond of that venomous little lizard," she said. "And Trixie...may still feel obligated to make amends for the trouble she caused him." She paused, biting into a cookie. "Besides...this should be entertaining to watch."

Twilight stared at her. After a moment, she covered her mouth with a hoof and giggled. "Okay...that's actually pretty mean, but...you're right. This'll be fun!" She frowned. "I just hope Spike doesn't get hurt..."

"Oh, Trixie doubts the walking marshmallow will alienate one so subservient to her..."

"We really need to work on your habit of belittling other ponies..."

"But Trixie is so good at it!"

* * * * *

The following morning was bright and clear, and saw Spike tottering through the doors of Carousel Boutique.

Rarity turned as the bell jingled, and smiled. "Why, good morning, Spikey-wikey! What brings you here today?"

Spike scratched at his cheek with a claw. "Heh...I, uhh..." He dug a toe into the floor. "Clothes," he mumbled.

"Pardon?"

Spike coughed and cleared his throat. "I was, uhh...thinking...I could use some clothes. You know, a wardrobe. Different stuff. Just...y'know...to have. To wear."

Rarity smiled. "Well, of course! Everypony...or, dragon I suppose...should have a well-outfitted wardrobe for all seasons and all occasions!"

"Umm...the only problem is, I'm a little short on bits..."

Rarity waved a hoof. "Oh, Spikey-boo," she said, "you've helped me harvest thousands of bits' worth of gems over the years! I'd say you've more than earned a reward of clothes. It's the least I can do. Why, I don't know why I never thought of it sooner!" She rubbed her hooves together. "So, what are you in the mood for?"

Spike rubbed his chin. "Well...something manly. Debonair. Suave. Sophisticated. But also tough. Cool. Something that says 'Spike is refined, reliable, and can breathe fire on you.'"

Rarity smirked. "How about I do some sketches..."

* * * * *

Trixie was reviewing spells with Twilight in the library when Spike returned. They stared at him, eyes wide.

"Pretty cool, huh?"

Spike wore a glossy red jacket covered in random zippers, a single white sequin-encrusted glove on his right claw, and overly large sunglasses.

"Umm..." Twilight hedged. She glanced at Trixie.

"You're missing a glove," Trixie pointed out.

"No I'm not," Spike said. "Rarity says asymmetry is in this season." He raised his arms and did a turn. "Well?"

"It's...really something!" Twilight said.

"Yes, something is a word that would describe what you are wearing," Trixie agreed.

* * * * *

The next day, Spike walked in wearing heavy black boots, black pants, a black jacket with an alpaca wool collar ruff, and a pair of criss-crossing brown belts.

Trixie and Twilight burst out laughing.

"...whatever," Spike muttered as he turned and left.

* * * * *

The next day, Spike walked in wearing a glaringly orange tracksuit with blue accents and a wide, ribbed white collar, as well as a dark blue headband with a metal plate on the front.

Trixie frowned. "That color is hideous."

* * * * *

Spike walked in wearing a white T-shirt with Flash Sentry's Cutie Mark on it and a dark grey windbreaker.

Twilight's left eye twitched. "I'm setting fire to that if I ever see it again."

* * * * *

Spike walked in wearing a tweed jacket, a white dress shirt, a bowtie, and a fez.

"A fez, Spike? Really?" Twilight asked.

"Rarity says fezzes are cool."

* * * * *

After ten days of this, Spike stormed into the dining room at lunch, throwing his claws up in the air. "This! Isn't! WORKING!" he cried. "Rarity's just using me as a living dress-up doll, and I'm not getting ANYWHERE with her!"

"Are you even trying?" Trixie asked.

Spike sighed. "When Rarity's in the zone, she's all business. I can't even raise the subject."

"Hmm. Yes...that would be a problem," Trixie said. "Perhaps more extreme measures are required. There may be something in one of Twilight Sparkle's books..."

"ABSOLUTELY NOT," Twilight said. "We've had enough trouble in Ponyville with that kind of magic." She sighed. "Spike...maybe it's time you face the fact that, well...Rarity's just not interested."

Spike hung his head, tears welling in his eyes. "Maybe you're right," he said, trudging out of the room.

Twilight stared after him sadly. "I hate doing this to him," she said.

Trixie rubbed her chin with a hoof, a thoughtful expression on her face. "Perhaps...one last attempt."

"Trixie...I really think you should let this go. You're only going to end up hurting him."

"Oh, you mean like you just did?" Trixie asked, raising an eyebrow.

Twilight frowned at her, then looked down at her lunch. With a long, tired sigh, she teleported away.

Trixie finished her own lunch and returned to the library. She picked up the spell book she'd spent the last few days studying and browsed through it. Her eyes lit up as they landed on a spell. "This...this might do the trick..."

* * * * *

Over the next four days, Trixie was in and out of the castle, disappearing for hours at a time. On the fourth day, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie came to the castle, looking concerned.

"Twilight, have you seen Rarity lately?" Fluttershy asked. "She missed our spa appointment yesterday."

"We've been checking up on her at the boutique, but she never answers!" Rainbow said.

"There's no note or anything!" Pinkie added.

Twilight frowned. "That's not like Rarity at all," she said.

Spike gasped. "She must be in trouble!"

"Don't jump to conclusions, Spike." Twilight sighed. "I'll go by and check on her—"

"There won't be any need for that, Twilight Sparkle," a distorted, magically amplified voice said.

A cloud of glittering purple smoke filled the castle. A silhouette strode through it.

When the smoke cleared, everypony present gasped in shock.

"R-Rarity?!" Fluttershy cried.

"Not exactly," the mare said.

While she looked almost exactly like Rarity, down to the same mane and tail style, her mane and coat colors were reversed, and her Cutie Mark was three black diamonds.

"Who are you?" Twilight demanded, taking a step forward.

"Just call me...Reversity." Reversity tossed her mane, a superior smirk on her face.

"I get it!" Pinkie yelled.

"Your precious Rarity is...indisposed," Reversity said. "And she will remain so unless young Spike can find me and defeat me before I erase her from existence." She looked around the room. "If any of the rest of you show your faces outside of this castle, this will not end well."

"Why are you doing this?" Twilight demanded.

"Let's just say...it's a matter of destiny." A chilling laugh filled the air as more purple smoke filled the room. When the smoke cleared, Reversity was gone.

The mares stared at each other with various degrees of anxiety, concern, and outrage.

"We gotta go help Rarity!" Rainbow said.

"What's this all about? Where did this...Reversity even come from?" Twilight wondered. "This...this doesn't make any sense..."

Spike scratched his chin with his claw. "Something's very familiar about all this..."

"Spike, you know who this mare is?" Fluttershy asked.

"No, but..." Spike frowned. After a moment, his eyes widened. "Of course!" He smacked his face with a claw. "Leave it to me, girls. I've got this."

Before any of them could protest, Spike ran for the front doors.

"Spike, wait!" Rainbow called. "It could be a trap!"

"Of course it's a trap!" Pinkie called.

"Come on, girls! We need to help Spike! And Rarity! And get to the bottom of this!" Twilight charged down the entrance hall, the others behind her.

* * * * *

Spike ran through the streets of Ponyville, bearing down on Carousel Boutique. When he arrived, he burst through the locked front doors. "I'M HERE, RARITY!"

"Spike! No! Don't come any closer!" Rarity called from the back.

Spike ran into the back, toward Rarity's kitchen. When he arrived, he skidded to a halt, staring in horror at the sight that awaited him.

A bloated porcine mess that could conceivably once have been Rarity wallowed atop a thick velvet cushion, amid dozens of empty cartons of ice cream. A carton floated near her swollen, piggy face, and she was shovelling spoonful after spoonful of ice cream into her mouth while reading a floating romance novel. A huge pile of ice cream stained trashy romance novels lay underneath the kitchen table.

"Rarity?" Spike asked.

"Don't—*nom nom*—look at—*nom nom*—meeee!" Rarity wailed.

"No, Spike. Look at her." Reversity emerged from the hall, a smirk on her face. "This is your dream mare, in all her glory. Can you still love her, seeing her this way?"

"What did you DO TO HER?" Spike demanded.

"A little spell called Indulgence," Reversity said. "It causes a pony to uncontrollably indulge in their personal vices. In her case, apparently that means ice cream and trashy romance novels." Reversity trotted around the wailing, ice cream scarfing Rarity. "Rather pathetic, if you ask me."

"Make it—*nom nom*—STAHAHAAAAAAAAAAP!" Rarity whined.

In a magenta flash, Twilight, Rainbow, Pinkie, and Fluttershy appeared. They all stared in horror at Rarity. "Whoa," Rainbow said.

"That's a looooooot of Rarity," Pinkie breathed, eyes wide.

"Oh my goodness..."

Spike stepped forward, claws clenched. "This ISN'T FUNNY, Trixie! Take the spell off!"

The others blinked and stared at Reversity. "TRIXIE?!"

Reversity tossed her mane. "I'm certain I don't know any Trixie..."

"I know it's you, Trixie!" Spike said. "I know it's you because you copied this whole stupid scheme from one of my comics! The one where Fillysecond gets captured by her evil counterpart Sillyfecond to draw her love interest into a trap!"

Rarity stared at "Reversity". "You—*nom nom*—said you were my—*nom nom*—great-great—*nom nom*—granddaughter!"

"She stole THAT from the comic too," Spike said. "Well, Trixie?"

"Reversity" sighed. "Fine." Her horn glowed; in a bright, misty shimmer, her appearance changed, reverting to the blue coat and silver mane of Trixie. With another burst of magic, Rarity suddenly stopped eating ice cream, letting the carton fall to the ground, the spoon clattering on the floor.

"My tummy huuuuuurts," Rarity complained.

"Trixie, why did you do this?" Twilight demanded.

Trixie sniffed indignantly. "Well, the idea was for Spike to have an epic showdown with a villainous foe to save the mare of his dreams." She frowned. "However, the Indulgence Spell was the only way I could think of to keep Rarity in one place for that long...I mean, it's not like I could just tie her up, since...since she could untie herself..." Trixie frowned. "Trixie really did not think this through very well," she admitted.

"No, you most certainly did not," Rarity said. "Oww..."

"Wait," Rainbow said. "So all this was, what, so Spike could impress Rarity?"

"That WAS the idea," Trixie said.

Twilight sighed. "Trixie, this...this is not okay. The thing with all the clothes, that was one thing, and it was funny to watch, but THIS? This is...well..." She waved a hoof at the bloated Rarity. "This is just...wrong!"

Trixie bowed her head. "Trixie...is sorry," she said. "Rarity...I'm sorry. I...I guess I should have stopped the spell as soon as I saw what it was doing to you, but..." She frowned and looked away. "I...I guess I didn't really..."

"Didn't really what?" Rarity asked.

"Well you're always so mean to me!" Trixie complained. "I guess...I guess part of me wanted to...to do something like this to you...out of spite..." She started pacing around. "It's just...I'm trying, okay? I want to have friends and I want ponies to like me and...and..." She looked at the others. "And you all still treat me like a joke, and...and..."

"Trixie..." Twilight stepped forward. "Why didn't you just...try talking to us? Like this, instead of the way you usually talk? And that's a big part of why ponies...well...aren't as receptive of you."

"Yeah, you kinda...insult other ponies a lot," Rainbow said.

Trixie's ears fell. "I guess...I just don't think about it..." She sighed. "It's just...it's been part of who I am for so long, I do it without...without thinking..."

"Well, isn't it time you started?" Rarity asked. She frowned. "And...despite what you've done here..." She coughed. "I'm sorry too. I haven't been fair to you since your return to Ponyville. I've been holding a grudge, and...and that's very small of me."

Trixie sniffled. "Thank you," she said. "Can...can we start over? Because Trixie...is actually rather impressed with your talents, and...and..."

Rarity grimaced. "Perhaps...once I've, ah...recovered from this deplorable state you've put me in?"

"Oh. Yes. Of...of course."

Twilight frowned. "Come on, Rarity. I'll take you to Zecora's. Between the two of us.." She tilted her head, brow furrowed. "...and a LOT of exercise on your part...I think we can get you back to normal in a week or two."

Rarity moaned pitifully as Twilight's aura enveloped her, levitating her off her cushion.

"Trixie, clean this mess up," Twilight said. "After that..." She frowned. "Well...I'll leave your punishment to Spike."

Spike rubbed his claws together, an evil leer crossing his face.

As Twilight turned to leave, Rarity floating behind her, she paused. "By the way, Trixie? That...was actually a pretty impressive disguise spell. Even I've never learned that spell."

Trixie smiled faintly, then started cleaning up Rarity's kitchen. Everypony except Spike left.

"Trixie?"

"Yes, Spike?"

"If you ever do something like this to Rarity or any of my friends ever again, I'll show you just how much fire I can breathe."

Trixie gulped. "Trixie will keep that in mind..."

* * * * *

When Twilight returned to the castle the following night, she found Trixie scrubbing the grand entrance hall with a toothbrush. "Hello, Trixie."

"Good evening, Twilight Sparkle. Is...is Rarity alright?"

Twilight sighed. "She's not very happy right now. Zecora mixed her up an herbal tonic, and she's spent the entire day fertilizing the Everfree Forest. Now she's asleep at Zecora's place. Tomorrow we're starting an intensive exercise therapy program." She frowned. "If I were you, I'd stay clear of Carousel Boutique for a while after Rarity comes back."

Trixie's ears drooped. "Yes...of course. Still...I need to make this up to her...when she's ready to let me." She frowned. "I have a long way to go, don't I?"

"Yes. Yes you do." Twilight tilted her head. "Is the toothbrush thing part of your punishment?"

"Trixie is supposed to scrub every inch of the castle with this toothbrush," Trixie said. "Trixie has not finished scrubbing the entrance hall yet, and she started last night."

Twilight smirked. "Well, keep at it. Try not to miss any spots." She trotted off for the stairs.

Behind her, Trixie complained, "Trixie cannot help but feel as though she is in boot camp..."

Twilight rolled her eyes.

When she reached her bedroom, she heard an insistent buzzing sound coming from her desk. Her ears pricked up. "The journal!" Enthusiastically, Twilight levitated the loudly buzzing journal out of her desk and opened it.

Dear Princess Twilight,

It's almost summer break. I do have summer plans with my friends, but I can get away for a week or so right after school lets out. I'll see you in two weeks.

Your friend,
Sunset Shimmer

Twilight smiled, hugged the journal to her chest, put it back in her desk, and climbed into bed.

A Great And Powerful Enchantress! (Part One)

Twilight Sparkle was all smiles as she arrived in the dining room for breakfast. Trixie looked up at her from a plate of pancakes she was in the process of demolishing. "What has you in such a good mood so early in the morning, Twilight Sparkle?"

"Oh...just some good news I just received," Twilight said. "It's...well...I'll tell you later." She tilted her head. "You're not still scrubbing the castle?"

"Your minion saw fit to discharge Trixie from her punishment," Trixie said. "On the condition that Trixie performs...'community service', as he put it."

"Community service, huh?" Twilight asked, sitting down and pouring herself a glass of orange juice. "And what exactly would that entail?"

Spike walked in, carrying a huge platter of pancakes. "It means she's going to try to learn useful spells and help some of the ponies in town with them," he said. "Starting with Rarity's gem finding spell. Since Rarity's not likely to be in any shape to go gem-hunting for a while..." Spike glared at Trixie. "Somepony needs to take her place."

"Hmm. I dunno, Spike. That spell's awfully complicated."

Trixie tossed her mane. "If Rarity can cast it, so can Trixie."

"But that spell is Rarity's signature spell," Twilight said. "It's even hard for me to cast." She levitated several pancakes onto her plate and drowned them in syrup. "Maybe you should start with something a little easier?" She brightened suddenly. "Hey! I've got a perfect idea!" She teleported away, then reappeared a moment later holding a scroll, which she levitated over to Trixie. "Bon Bon asked for my help with something. Maybe you can take care of it."

Trixie unrolled the scroll and looked at it. "The Hours And Hours Of Flavor Spell?"

"It's a spell created by Golden Ticket, the legendary candymaker from Canterlot," Twilight said. "It makes hard candies last longer and change flavors over and over again. Only unicorn candy makers can use it, obviously, but Bon Bon heard about this spell and wanted to add it to her inventory. The only problem is, she's an earth pony, and her friend Lyra isn't as, well...versatile as she'd like to be."

Trixie studied the spell. "Well, it seems simple enough." She rolled the scroll up and tucked it under her hat. "Very well! Trixie will assist your candymaker friend! And then Trixie will go gem hunting for Rarity."

Twilight smiled. "Good luck," she said.

* * * * *

Spike led Trixie to the candy shop. The bell over the door jingled merrily as they walked in.

A cream-colored earth pony mare with a curly pink-and-blue mane looked up. "Welcome," she said. Then she recognized Trixie, and her eyes narrowed. "Uh-uh. NO WAY. After all the trouble you've caused? Out."

Trixie sniffed daintily, turning up her nose. "Well!"

"Bon Bon," Spike said, "Twilight sent Trixie to help you with that spell you wanted. You know, the candy flavor spell?"

Bon Bon frowned. "Are you serious?"

"Look...Trixie's trying to do right by Ponyville, okay? She's still obnoxious and still screws up a lot, but she wants to help. Give her a break, alright?" Spike pleaded. Trixie blinked at him.

Bon Bon stared at Trixie uncertainly. After a moment, she sighed. "Alright. Come on back, we'll...we'll try this." She glanced at Spike. "Can I trust you to mind the store while we're in the back?"

Spike nodded and saluted. "You got it!"

"And keep your claws out of the jars," Bon Bon admonished.

Trixie followed Bon Bon into the candy kitchen. She led Trixie over to a metal table where dozens of jawbreakers in different colors were spread out in neat rows. "See those green ones? Nopony likes those. Move those over to that counter."

Trixie frowned. "If nopony likes the green ones, why do you make them?"

"Whenever you make hard candy or jellybeans or gumdrops or whatever, there's always one flavor nopony likes, but you make it anyway." Bon Bon shrugged. "It's just tradition. If you stopped making that flavor, everypony would notice and wonder what happened to it."

"That seems...counterintuitive," Trixie said.

"Yeah, I said that to my dad when he taught me how to make candy. He said he told his mom the same thing. It's just one of those things."

Trixie shrugged and levitated the indicated candies to a wooden countertop. She pulled out the scroll and studied it, her horn shimmering as she read it aloud.

For a candy you can savor
With hours and hours of flavor
Use this spell if you are clever
It'll change your world forever
Apples, lemons, cherries, grapes
Cinnamon and sugar crepes
Flavors sweet and flavors tart
Every treat's a work of art!

A shimmery pinkish-grey mist spread out from Trixie's horn, enveloping the twenty-odd green jawbreakers on the counter. They started to shimmer, various colors of the rainbow washing over them. Each candy twinkled with a bright white gleam, then the magic faded.

"Did it work?"

"Only one way to find out," Trixie said. She picked one up and put it in her mouth.

Bon Bon did likewise. After a moment, she frowned. "It still tastes like..."

"Wait for it," Trixie said.

After a couple of minutes, Bon Bon' eyes widened. "It changed! It tastes like cinnamon now!"

"This one tastes like sour cherries," Trixie said.

They stood around for a while, sucking on the jawbreakers and commenting on each flavor change. They returned to the front to take over running the shop from Spike, all the while sucking on the enchanted candies.

After over an hour and a half, the candies finally completely dissolved, having undergone more than a dozen flavor changes each, and none of them repeating or following the same pattern. Bon Bon tilted her head with a smile. "You know, I think this might actually work!" She dipped her head to Trixie. "Thank you."

"Trixie is only too happy to help."

They went into the back, where Trixie enchanted the rest of the jawbreakers on the cooling table. When she left with Spike, Trixie was all smiles. "Trixie must admit...it feels good to help ponies."

"I'm impressed you managed a helpful spell that didn't backfire," Spike said.

Trixie stopped. "Trixie will have you know that very few of her spells backfire! Trixie's magic is not so weak and useless as you are so fond of believing!"

"Yeah yeah," Spike said, waving a claw. "So, you still wanna give that gem-finding spell a try?"

"Why not? Trixie feels lucky today!"

* * * * *

"Trixie cannot get this stupid spell to work!"

Spike and Trixie stood on a barren plain an hour's walk from Ponyville. Spike had an old red wagon next to him that was depressingly empty. Trixie's brow furrowed and her eyes squinted as she concentrated. Her horn pulsed, a weak pinkish-grey shimmer surrounding it...then faded.

Trixie sagged, barrel heaving. "Trixie gives up," she moaned.

Spike patted her awkwardly on the shoulder. "It's okay," he said. "You did more to help Ponyville today than you've ever done." He stretched. "Wanna call it a day?"

Trixie frowned. "Trixie will make one more try," she said. "Let us try a different area." Spike grabbed the handle of the wagon, and the pair walked for another ten minutes, coming to a stop at the edge of a narrow but treacherous ravine.

Trixie's horn began to glow as she concentrated. A bright flash lit her horn; her eyes flew open. "Whooooaaaaa!" she cried as she was pulled in the direction of the ravine.

"Gah!" Spike snagged her around one back hoof and dug hard into the ground with his toes and tail, pulling with all his might. Trixie teetered on the edge, but managed to recover as she extinguished her horn.

Trixie panted for a moment. "Thank you," she said. "Trixie was almost a goner."

"What just happened?"

"There are GEMS down there!" Trixie said excitedly. "Perhaps a great many!"

"Huh," Spike said, scratching his chin. "Well, let's have a look."

Trixie and Spike leaned over the edge of the ravine. Spike's eyes widened. "Whoa."

Down below, by the bank of a thin river, a massive pile of gems sparkled in the light of the sun.

Trixie's eyes gleamed with greed. Her horn glowed, and a steady stream of gems floated up from the pile, pouring into the wagon. Once it was full, she eased up. "Whew. Mission accomplished."

Spike frowned. "Wait a second. I know there's gems all over this area, but they don't just pile themselves up like tha—"

"HEY! WHO'S THE DEAD JERKFACE THAT'S STEALIN' FROM OUR HOARD?!"

Three teenage dragons, one red with a yellow belly and an orange fin on his head, one light purple with long, twisted white horns and a crest of lavender spikes, and one royal purple with two spikes sticking up out of a shaggy mop of golden hair that covered his eyes, flew up out of the ravine, fury in their eyes.

"Oh crap, it's THOSE guys!" Spike muttered.

"Well, well, well," Garble said. "If it isn't Spike the Pony. Long time no see, Spike. You got a lotta nerve, stealin' from our hoard."

Spike scowled. "Yeah? Well the way I see it, I'm just collecting JERK TAX!" He paused. "Y'know, 'cause you guys are a bunch of jerks."

"Ha ha," Garble laughed derisively. "Well you still owe some PAIN TAX from the LAST time!"

"BACK, foul dragons!" Trixie exclaimed, planting her hooves. "The Great and Powerful TRRRRIXIE will NOT tolerate your interference!"

The dragons blinked at her. "Uhh...you just stole from us," Garble pointed out. "And anyway, what's some prissy PONY gonna do to the three of US?"

"Why don't you ask the dreaded Ursa Major?" Trixie asked. "Oh. That's right. You can't. Because Trixie vanquished it."

The purple dragon laughed. "Haw haw, that's a load!"

Spike grinned. "Wanna bet?"

The dragons glanced at one another uncertainly.

Trixie's horn began to glow.

"Uhh...this pony seriously...vanquished an Ursa Major?" Garble asked.

"Yep, she sure did," Spike said, buffing his claws on his chest.

"Uhh...Garble?" the shaggy-headed dragon said. "It's...it's just one little wagon full of gems. And, well...Spike DID do that righteous belly flop. I mean, yeah, we hate the little turd for bein' more pony than dragon and that whole thing with the phoenixes, but..." He gulped. "Maybe we let this one go?"

"There's no WAY we're lettin' them steal even ONE little gem!" Garble said. "Prepare to get HURT!"

A tiny blue ball sped out of Trixie's saddlebag, exploding right in the dragons' faces and unleashing a cloud of glittering blue dust.

"Ahh! My eyes!"

"It burns!"

"I'm gonna...ahh...ahh...AAAAACHOOO!" A gout of flame erupted from the cloud.

"Hey! Watch where you snuhee...hee...HEECHA!"

Trixie grabbed Spike, threw him on her back, took hold of the wagon, and ran for her life.

* * * * *

"You did WHAT?!" Twilight yelled.

"Uhh...we might've...stolen some gems from those jerky teenage dragons?" Spike offered hesitantly.

Twilight shook her head in disbelief. "Spike, that was STUPID! Both of you could've gotten killed!"

"We didn't MEAN to steal them! We just...didn't know they belonged to anyone..."

"And if we'd given the gems back, the dragons would have done something horrible to us anyway," Trixie said. "Trixie knows a bully when she sees one."

Twilight frowned. "Well...that's a valid point..."

"And it's not like we could've outrun them, and Trixie can't teleport," Spike pointed out.

"Also true." Twilight sighed. "Alright, fine. But now we know never to go anywhere near that ravine again, right?" She looked them both over. "Did you deliver the gems to Carousel Boutique?"

"We sure did," Spike said. "Except...heh...one or two I...y'know..."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Of course."

"Trixie needs a bath," Trixie announced, trotting off to her suite.

Once Trixie was safely behind the doors of her present home, she shed her saddlebags and floated a handful of assorted gems out. She smiled. "It's fine for Trixie to have kept a few for herself," she said. "After all, Trixie needs money to live on, even if Twilight Sparkle is a gracious host." She studied one large, perfect emerald which she had kept.

She frowned.

"Without Spike's help, that...situation...might have ended badly for Trixie." She worried at her lip. "Trixie really should thank him..."

As she pondered this moral quandary, the scroll with the candy spell fell out of her saddlebag. Her eyes lit up. "Trixie has a splendid idea!" With a grin, she began weaving the spell around the emerald...

* * * * *

The next morning, a smiling Trixie breezed into the dining room at breakfast. "Good morning, Twilight Sparkle! Good morning, Spike!"

"Morning, Trixie," Twilight said over the brim of her coffee mug. "Sleep well?"

"Trixie slept wonderfully!" Trixie sat down at the table. "Trixie is fresh, perky, and ready for another day of proving her worth to the denizens of Ponyville!"

"Good to hear it," Twilight said.

As Spike plopped a plate of scrambled eggs in front of Trixie, Trixie levitated a large, flawless emerald from her cape. "Trixie has a present for you, Spike. A thank-you gift, as it were, for yesterday...as well as an apology gift for some of the, ahem, inconveniences Trixie has caused you."

Spike's eyes lit up as he beheld the emerald. He started to drool.

"Wow, that's...really nice of you, Trixie," Twilight said.

As Spike reached for it, Trixie pulled it away. "Before you accept it, Trixie must tell you that she has enchanted it."

Spike blinked. "Enchanted?"

"You recall that candy-making spell Trixie so expertly and flawlessly employed yesterday? Well, Trixie has cast it on this emerald. Trixie hopes you will enjoy it."

"A candy-making spell on an emerald?" Twilight asked, tilting her head. "That's...unconventional..."

Trixie tilted her nose up. "Trixie prides herself on being unconventional!" She floated the emerald over to Spike, who took hold of it, licking his lips.

"I think I'll save this for my mid-morning snack," Spike said. "Thanks, Trixie!" With that, the three of them sat down to breakfast, the emerald gleaming on the table.

* * * * *

As the morning wore on, Twilight and Trixie sequestered themselves in the library, where Trixie was busy learning new spells to help out around Ponyville. Spike began his daily cleaning of the more frequented areas of the castle.

Spike put down his feather duster and wiped his brow. "Whew," he muttered. "Time for a break." He pulled out the emerald Trixie had given him, studying it critically. "Candy-making spell, huh? I wonder." With a shrug, he popped the emerald in his mouth and, instead of crunching it down, sucked on it. After a few minutes, the cool, refreshing green taste of emerald changed to the crisp, spicy tang of aged fire ruby. "Oh, wow," he mumbled around the gem. "Trixie came through again! Who'd have thunk it?"

He let the gem pass through several more flavor changes before crushing it into dust in his jaws and swallowing it. Patting his belly and belching, he wandered up to the library. "Hey, Twilight? I think I'm gonna go check on Rarity."

"Okay, Spike. Hey, mind doing some shopping while you're out?" Twilight replied.

"Sure."

As he left the castle, Spike was oblivious to the fact that his scales were gradually changing color from purple to red...

* * * * *

Spike knocked on Rarity's bedroom door. "It's me!" he called.

"Oh...err...come in," Rarity replied hesitantly.

Spike opened the door and stepped inside. Rarity lay on her bed, looking miserable. She'd already lost a tremendous amount of the weight she'd put on from the Indulgence spell, but she was still far huskier than normal, and her face had the sunken, unhealthy look of somepony who had been violently ill for days.

"Ahem...I hate that you have to see me in such a deplorable condition, Spikey-boo," Rarity said. She blinked. "Err, Spike? Is...is everything alright?"

Spike's eyes narrowed. "No, everything's not alright," he hissed. "I can't believe I actually forgave that BITCH Trixie for doing this to you! Why, I oughtta storm right back to the castle and burn her to ashes right this—"

"Spike...stop." Rarity grunted as she heaved herself off the bed and waddled over to him. "That doesn't sound like you. And...and are you aware that you're red?"

"Red? What the hell are you talkin' about?"

Rarity seized a mirror from her dresser and levitated it over to Spike. He blinked at his reflection. His scales had turned from purple to a vivid, angry red; his belly and spines had turned black. "What the...?" Spike's eyes narrowed. "Trixie," he snarled.

"Now, Spike," Rarity said. "You...you can't just assume..."

"It's gotta be her! She's nothing but a walking disaster area!"

"I thought you yourself said she was trying—"

"Oh, she's trying alright," Spike snarled, clenching his fists. "Tryin' my patience." He waved a claw at Rarity. "Look at what she did to you! You used to be the hottest mare in town, now you look like you belong out with the cows!"

"SPIKE!" Rarity yelled, drawing back.

"And while we're on the subject, how could you let somepony that ridiculous get the drop on you? I thought you were better than that!" Spike began to pace and rant. "Are you really that weak-minded that you'd just fall right into whatever trap Trixie set?"

"Really, Spike!" Rarity said. "Where is this coming from?"

"AND ANOTHER THING!" Spike yelled, rounding on Rarity. "Don't think I don't know how you've been using me all these years! With your batting eyelashes and cooing voice and 'oh please, Spikey-wikey?' and...and..."

Spike's scales turned mustard yellow and his spines turned brown.

"...and I wish I had the guts to accept the truth, that you'll never feel the same way about me, and...and maybe I don't really even feel that way anymore either and I'm just...not ready to face it..." Spike slumped, tears gathering in his eyes.

Rarity sat down, concern in her own eyes. "Spike," she said softly. "I think...I think you're not quite yourself at the moment." She held up her mirror again.

Spike peered at his reflection. He blinked. "Huh? Now I'm yellow? What gives?"

"I don't know, darling, but...perhaps you had better return to the castle. Let Twilight have a look at you."

"Y-yeah," Spike said. "Umm...get better soon, Rarity." He turned to leave.

Rarity watched him, a contemplative frown on her face.

* * * * *

Pinkie Pie was busy gathering supplies for the Cake twins' "You're Potty Trained Now!" party when she heard the sounds of uncontrollable sobbing from around the corner. She followed the sound and found Spike sitting against a wall, bawling his eyes out. She blinked; for some reason, Spike was blue, and his spines were a deep purple.

"Hey Spike! Why so blue?"

Spike sniffled. "I duh-duh-don't knoh-ho-ho-hoooooow!" he wailed. "I just...started cuh-crying, and I cuh-cuh-can't s-sto-hooooop!"

Pinkie sat down next to him. "Aww," she said, wrapping a hoof around him and hugging him. "Poor Spike! But I meant why are you literally so blue?"

Spike looked up at her, snot dangling from his nose. "Huh?"

"Your scales are all blue!"

Spike sniffed, pulling the snot back in. "I...I changed...I changed colors again?"

"Again?" Pinkie tilted her head.

Spike nodded. "It's...it's..."

His scales suddenly turned from blue to pink, and his belly and spines turned bright red. He stood up, all traces of sadness gone. "Hey. Hey!"

"What?" Pinkie asked, visibly alarmed.

"I wanna do something fun!" Spike said.

"Ooh! I love fun things!" Pinkie frowned. "But maybe you should go see Twilight. Something's...not quite right with you..."

"Yeah, what's not right is I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself when I should be having FUN!" Spike started bouncing around like a rubber ball, then darted off into Ponyville.

"Spike! Wait!" Pinkie called after him. She pranced in place on her hooves. "Oh. Oh man! This is NOT good!" She chased after Spike, forgetting all about her party planning.

* * * * *

Spike spotted Fluttershy in the marketplace, buying vegetables. Not far away, Angel was sitting on top of a barrel, looking bored. A devious smirk crossed his pink scaly lips. He crept up behind the rabbit, hiding behind the barrel.

Slowly, Spike raised his head above the top of the barrel. As quietly as he could, he drew in a deep breath. Then, he unleashed a terrifying ROAR! Angel shot straight up in the air, bolted towards Fluttershy, and hid in her mane.

"Oh my goodness! Angel, what happened? Are you alright?" Fluttershy asked.

"Heheh," Spike snickered, sinking out of sight.

"That wasn't very nice!" Pinkie said from behind him.

"Eh, it was a harmless prank," Spike said. "Besides, that rabbit had it comin'."

Pinkie paused, rubbing her muzzle with a hoof. "Well...yeah...I can see that..." She shook her head. "But still! Spike, I think you really need to go see Twilight! You're not yourself today!"

Spike abruptly turned black; his spines turned gold. "Oh yeah?" he sneered. "Whadda YOU know about it, Pinkie PUNK?" He shoved her roughly aside. "Get lost. I got stuff to do."

"Spike, wait—"

Spike turned and blew a cloud of fire, warding her off, then swaggered off. Ponies watched, wide-eyed, whispering in shock.

Shaking soot from her mane, Pinkie took off for the castle as fast as she could run.

* * * * *

Spike grimaced in annoyance as the screeching voices of fillies reached his ears. Following the sound, he found the Cutie Mark Crusaders squaring off against Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. The latter two were circling them like sharks, taunting and tormenting them. The Crusaders stood their ground, shouting back at the pair of rich fillies.

"Ugh," Spike muttered. He stomped up to them. "Oi! You lot!"

The taunting and shouting subsided as the five fillies turned to look at Spike. "What do YOU want?" Diamond Tiara said disdainfully.

"Spike? You okay there?" Apple Bloom asked, blinking.

"Yeah, you...wow. What happened?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"What happened is I was having a perfectly shit day, and then I heard the five most useless, annoying fillies in Ponyville screeching their heads off, giving ME a bloody headache!" Spike narrowed his eyes at the group of fillies. "You ALL need to be taught a lesson. Foals should be seen and not heard."

"S-Spike?" Scootaloo asked, eyes wide. "Wha...what's wrong with you?"

"You've got SOME NERVE insulting US!" Diamond Tiara said.

"Yeah! Get a life, you creep!" Silver Spoon said.

"Oh, that tears it," Spike snarled. He took a deep breath and exhaled a massive blast of fire at the suddenly terrified fillies...

A Great And Powerful Enchantress! (Part Two)

In a yellow blur, five screaming fillies were pushed out of the way of Spike's flame blast. A cloud swept in, pushed by Rainbow Dash, who gave it a good swift buck, dumping rain on the flames and Spike. Once the fire was out, Rainbow landed in front of Spike, back arched and wings flared. "The HAY is your problem, Spike?!"

Spike glared at her. "You want some, Rainbow Dash? Come and have a go, if you think you're pony enough."

"Oh, I'm pony enough!" Rainbow said, snorting steam. "You need your butt kicked!"

Nearby, Fluttershy was sheltering the five freaked-out fillies. "Are you alright, girls?" she asked softly.

"Th-that was s-s-scary!" Sweetie Belle stammered, eyes wide.

"What the heck's HIS problem?" Scootaloo asked, frowning at Spike.

"Ah think somethin' bad musta happened," Apple Bloom said. "That...that ain't like him at all..."

"I knew it was a bad idea to have a dragon in a pony town," Diamond Tiara said sourly. "Even if he IS the princess' PET." She tilted up her nose. "Come on, Silver Spoon. I've had enough of these losers for one day."

She trotted off, Silver Spoon marching behind her with the same snooty expression.

"You're welcome," Fluttershy said softly to their retreating backs.

Meanwhile, Rainbow was crouched low to the ground, tensing and flexing her wings, eyes narrowed. Spike glared at her, smoke curling from his nostrils as he clenched his claws into fists. Rainbow blurred forward in a rush of speed, slamming into Spike with her front hooves; Spike rolled across the ground, coming to rest against a wagon. The salespony manning the wagon bolted for cover as Spike leapt to his feet with a snarl, broke off part of the wagon's harness, and set it on fire. With a wordless battle cry, he charged Rainbow, brandishing his flaming weapon.

Rainbow jumped into the air, stirring up a wind with her wings. Spike's feet dug furrows in the ground as he fought against the wind; his weapon guttered out. Growling, he tossed it away, then jumped straight up, blowing a massive cloud of fire. Rainbow darted out of the way, a rainbow contrail stretching behind her as she flew around behind Spike and punched him in the back of the head. Spike ate dirt; he pushed himself up as Rainbow landed nearby, breathing heavily.

Fluttershy darted between them, wings spread wide. "STOP THIS, YOU TWO! You're friends! You shouldn't be fighting like this!"

"Out of the way, duckie," Spike growled. "I've been wantin' to shove a fist in that fat face of hers for years."

"THAT'S IT!" Rainbow yelled, flying up and over Fluttershy, then diving down...

* * * * *

Pinkie Pie burst into the library. "TWILIGHT! Something's wrong with Spike!"

Twilight looked up from her book. "What?" She stood up. "Was he in an accident? Is he sick? What's wrong?"

"I don't know!" Pinkie said, prancing in place. "He keeps changing colors and he's acting really weird! First he was blue and he was all sad and mopey, then he turned pink and started pranking and wanting to do fun things, then he turned black and got all nasty and blew fire at me..."

"Wait, what?" Twilight asked. Her wings flared out. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm telling you, Spike keeps changing colors and every time he changes colors he starts acting different!" Pinkie said. "Maybe he has some really weird dragon disease or something? Whatever it is, it's totally freaking me out and I think he could really be in trouble!"

Trixie and Twilight exchanged glances. Twilight frowned. "Alright, where did you see him last?"

"In the marketplace!"

The three mares winked out in triple bursts of magenta light.

* * * * *

Twilight, Trixie, and Pinkie found themselves in the middle of a very confused scene.

The marketplace was mostly deserted except for a ring of ponies standing around the edges, watching anxiously. Among them were the Cutie Mark Crusaders, who looked terrified for their lives.

In the middle, Rainbow Dash hung in midair, frozen in mid-kick above a cowering, trembling Spike whose spines and scales were a pale ash grey. Fluttershy hovered nearby, concern and confusion on her face.

"P-please d-d-don't h-h-hurt m-me," Spike whimpered, covering his head with his hands and shaking like a leaf.

Rainbow Dash disappeared in a magenta flash and reappeared upside-down in midair next to Twilight, suspended in her magic aura. "WHAT did you DO TO HIM?" Twilight roared angrily.

"ME?!" Rainbow cried. "It was HIM! He went completely crazy! He tried to torch those fillies over there, then he picked a fight with me!"

Twilight blinked and set Rainbow down. "He did what?" she asked, her voice soft and quavering. She raised a hoof as she looked over at Spike. "Spike? What...?"

"Umm...Twilight? I don't really know much about dragons, but...I think Spike is very sick," Fluttershy said as she trotted up to the group.

Spike's scales turned green; his spines turned bright blue. He abruptly stopped whimpering and shaking and stood up, dusting himself off. He looked around the deserted marketplace and licked his lips. "Hungry," he hissed. Before anypony could react, he rushed to the nearest wagon and started eating every piece of fruit it held.

"Spike, cut that out!" Twilight yelled.

Spike turned and hissed at her, then threw one last piece of fruit in his mouth. He bent over and let out a wet, whining fart, then dived head-first into the next wagon of produce.

"How disgusting!" Trixie complained, holding a hoof over her nose.

"It's like every time he changes color, he's a totally different dragon!" Pinkie said.

Twilight blinked. "Wait. Say that again?"

"It's like every time he changes color, he's a totally different dragon!"

Rainbow blinked. "Huh. Now that you mention it...he was black when he was acting like a big jerk, then he turned gray and got all scared of me, and now he's green and gross!"

"And before, he was sad when he was blue, then wanted to play when he was pink," Pinkie said.

Twilight frowned. "Trixie...you sampled one of those candies you enchanted yesterday, didn't you?"

"Yes," Trixie said.

"Did you notice anything...strange? Any odd thoughts, moods—"

"It was only candy, Twilight Sparkle," Trixie said. "Delicious candy that changed flavors every few minutes, but nothing more."

Twilight rubbed her muzzle with a hoof. "But you cast that spell on an emerald, as a present for Spike."

"Yes..." Trixie said, a note of concern creeping into her voice. "Are...are you about to blame Trixie for this?"

Twilight pursed her lips. "Well...it's a theory..."

"Because Trixie assures you she cast that spell correctly, both times," Trixie said. "Any unicorn could cast that spell."

Twilight's ears twitched. "But...you had to have done something differently the second time, right? I mean...nothing like this happened the first time..."

"Well...this is true," Trixie admitted. "Nothing peculiar happened to either myself or that candymaker when we tested the enchanted candies."

"And Spike? He was okay too?"

"Spike didn't try one of the candies," Trixie said. "He was out front minding the store."

Twilight gasped. "So this is the first time Spike's eaten anything enchanted with that spell, ever?"

"As far as I know," Trixie said. "Where are you going with this?"

"Yeah, Twilight, where ARE you going with this?" Spike suddenly asked. He was standing in front of them, scales red and spines black, claws on his hips. "I swear to Celestia's huge plot, every time you come up with some half-baked theory..." He shook his head. "A lot of times, I think you just talk to hear your own head rattle. Honestly, you're a joke, you know that?"

"Wh-what?!" Twilight said, tears brimming in her eyes.

Spike pointed a shaking claw at Trixie. "I'll tell you what happened. THAT epic fail of a pony screwed something up AGAIN. Case closed."

Trixie shied away, eyes wet.

"SPIKE!" Fluttershy snapped. "Shame on you! Apologize now!"

"Oh, don't even go there with me," Spike said, rounding on Fluttershy. "I have half a mind to tell you—"

His scales turned orange; his spines turned bright yellow.

"—that I'm lucky to have a kind, graceful pony like you as a friend." He looked at all of them. "I'm so lucky to have all of you as my friends, and...and..." He curled up into a ball and started sucking on his claw. "My tummy hurts."

"O-kay, this is startin' to creep me out," Rainbow said, staring at Spike with wide eyes.

Twilight swallowed nervously. "I think...I'd like to get Zecora's opinion on this," she said shakily.

* * * * *

Twilight, Trixie, Pinkie, Rainbow, and Fluttershy strode through the dark, spooky Everfree Forest. Spike was wrapped in a bubble of magical force; he kept changing colors, and each change of color brought a fresh wave of disconnected, emotional babble. "LET ME OUT, YOU PRISSY BIcause I-I'm s-scared of h-heights, and I'M HUNGRY, LET ME EAT SOMETHING, I'M so bored, I wanna do something fun and why do you always gotta jerk ponies and dragons around with your magic? We're sentient creatures, not books or quills and I'm sick, aren't I? What happened to me? Why does my tummy hurt? I want my Rarity doll even though Rarity's never going to love me and I don't even know why I'm still PUTTING UP WITH YOUR SHIT, YOU LAZY CU—"

"And we're here," Twilight said as she gagged Spike with her magic. Zecora's hut stood before them, colorful smoke gently wafting out into the dense forest canopy. Fluttershy knocked on the door; after a moment, it opened, and Zecora peeked out. "Goodness me! I appear to have company!"

"Hi Zecora," Twilight said. "We've got a little problem with Spike, and I'd like your opinion."

Zecora stared at Spike, who was currently black and furious, trying vainly to unclamp his jaws. "I see his color is out of whack. Should he not be purple instead of black?"

"That's only part of it," Twilight said. "Can we come in?"

Zecora stood aside and gestured them all inside. "Please, you must excuse this mess. I was not expecting a visit from a Princess." The cabin was littered with sachets of herbs, open books, flowers, and fruits. Zecora's cauldron was bubbling merrily away, issuing curls of purple steam that drifted up to the ventilation hole in the ceiling.

"—and what kind of alicorn princess needs a zebra's help all the time, anyway?" Spike ranted as Twilight ungagged him; his scales had turned red once again. "Seriously, shouldn't you be able to figure this shit out for yourself? I mean really, YOU'RE supposed to be the one everypony turns to with their problems, and—" He turned orange. "—it's okay that you don't always know the answers, even though I'm honestly a little disappointed when you don't. Or when you try to fix things and end up making them worse. I mean yeah, I do that a lot, but I'm just a baby dragon, and you're Celestia's star student and a princess! You shouldn't—" He turned pink. "—keep me standing around this boring place when there's so much FUN we could be having back in Ponyville!"

Zecora stared at him, blinking. "Oh dear. How queer."

"Zecora," Twilight began, "I think this has something to do with Golden Ticket's Hours And Hours Of Flavor Spell."

"The candymaker's spell?" Zecora asked. "Interesting. Do tell."

"Yesterday, Trixie learned that spell so she could help Bon Bon," Twilight said. "Today, she gave Spike an emerald that she'd enchanted with the same spell. After that, well..." She gestured at Spike, who had turned blue again and was blubbering in a corner. "This happened."

Zecora rubbed her muzzle with a hoof. "I see. Dear me." She nodded sagely. "You were wise to come here, Princess. I know precisely what caused this distress."

"Did...did I really screw up again?" Trixie asked softly, gazing at Spike with worried eyes. "I...I was just trying to do something nice..."

Zecora chuckled. "There is no need to place blame. If Twilight herself had done this, it would be the same."

Twilight flicked an ear. "So...what happened?"

"All magical creatures live by certain rules. Do you know why dragons eat jewels?"

Twilight frowned, furrowing her brow. "Because...it tastes good to them?"

Zecora laughed. "The reason goes deeper than simple desire. You see...gems are the fuel for a dragon's fire."

Fluttershy gasped. "I see! Eating gems is like shoveling coal into a boiler!"

Zecora nodded. "And if a jewel has been enchanted, the inner fire absorbs the magic that was granted."

Twilight tilted her head. "So...that candymaking spell got mixed up with Spike's dragon fire? But...that doesn't explain—"

"What you are seeing when Spike's colors change are different flavors of his emotional range," Zecora said.

Trixie's eyes widened. "Trixie understands! Each time that spell goes off, Spike's personality changes! Right?"

"Close," Twilight said, nodding thoughtfully. "I get it now. It's...it's like all the different emotions and thoughts and feelings that make up Spike's personality..." She looked over at Spike, who was now yellow and glum. "These color changes are bringing out the most extreme form of each part of his personality."

"Okay, so..." Rainbow frowned. "How do we fix him?"

Zecora shook her head. "There is no remedy but time. Once the magic runs its course, he should be fine."

"So...we just have to wait for this to wear off?" Twilight's ears folded back. "How long will that take?"

Zecora shrugged.

Twilight sighed. "Thanks, Zecora. Come on, everypony. Let's get back to Ponyville. We'll just have to keep a close eye on Spike until he's better."

"I would advise isolating Spike," Zecora said. "He will say things you ponies may not like."

"You got that right, stripey," Black Spike said, scowling at them.

"I can't just let my favorite assistant suffer through this all by himself," Twilight said. She sighed. "I guess...I'll just have to live with hearing what Spike really thinks about me..."

Trixie cleared her throat. "Trixie will stand watch over Spike until he recovers," she said. "This...this is, after all, my fault. And, well...Spike has made his opinion of me quite plain. He...couldn't possibly say or do anything I haven't already heard."

Twilight smiled gratefully at her. "Thanks, Trixie."

* * * * *

For the next four days, Trixie and Spike remained sequestered in a part of the castle Twilight rarely set hoof in. Twilight brought them food, books, and games. Occasionally, she would hear either Spike or Trixie sobbing or screaming, but Trixie insisted on bearing the burden alone.

On the fifth day, Twilight was reading over a report, not really concentrating on it, when the loudest, most grotesque fart she'd ever heard reverberated through the entire castle. She jumped straight up, eyes wide in alarm. "What in the—?" She raced out of the library, wings flared, and ran upstairs.

She skidded to a halt as a door opened and Spike strolled out. His scales were back to normal and he had a relieved smile on his face as he patted his stomach. "Ahh," he said. "That's better. Hey Twilight."

"Spike?" Twilight rushed up to him and swept him up in a huge hug. "SPIKE! You're okay!"

"Yep! I'm totally back to normal!" Spike laughed nervously. "Heh...guess I had you pretty worried there, huh?"

"Oh, Spike..." Twilight's eyes filled with tears.

Spike dropped back down to the floor and scratched the back of his head. "So, I uhh...might've said some stuff..." He coughed. "To a lot of ponies, actually..."

Twilight shook her head. "You weren't yourself, Spike..."

"But that's just it," Spike said. "I was myself. Everything I did and said, it...it all came from inside me. I just couldn't control what came out and when." He looked up at Twilight, tears in his eyes. "That...that stuff I said about you...I'm so, so sorry..."

Twilight bowed her head. "I...won't pretend it didn't hurt, hearing you say some of those things," she whispered. "I didn't know you really felt that way..."

"I don't!" Spike insisted, waving his claws. "I just...get a little frustrated sometimes, yeah...I mean you do make bigger mistakes than the average pony. But you're an amazing princess and an even more amazing friend, and I'm so lucky to have you."

Twilight smiled and sniffled. "Spike..." She swept him up in another huge hug.

After a long moment, Spike sighed. "I guess I've got a lot of apologies to hand out..."

"You can start by apologizing to Trixie." Twilight and Spike turned to see Trixie staggering up to them, her eyes wide, her irises shrunken, and her mane and tail sticking out in every direction. Her cheeks were green and bulging, as though she were about to be sick all over the place. "A little—*ulp*—warning would have been nice..."

"Trixie?" Twilight asked, drawing up a hoof. "What happened to you?"

"Your minion farted in Trixie's face."

"Heh...sorry," Spike said.

Trixie stared at him with narrowed eyes. "No you're not."

Spike shrugged. "You're right. I'm not." Grinning, he put his claws behind his head and made his way downstairs.

Twilight rolled her eyes and giggled. "Well, looks like everything's back to normal..."

* * * * *

By the end of the day, Spike had made his rounds around Ponyville, apologizing to everypony he'd insulted, offended, hurt, or scared. Most ponies had been understanding; a few still held grudges, and there were still damages to pay for anything Spike had wrecked or eaten while he was out of control, but that was just another day in Ponyville as far as Twilight was concerned.

The sun had set an hour ago; Spike had already gone to bed, Trixie was studying late in the library, and Twilight sat at her desk in her room, going over her weekly planner one more time before bed. She smiled as she looked at the date which was marked with a bright red square on her calendar.

"One more week, and Sunset Shimmer will be here..."

* * * * *

Deep Dish frowned as he studied the group of silent, hooded ponies seated around his parlor eating plain cheese pizzas.

All of them. Every single pony had ordered plain cheese. In his experience, it wasn't normal for so many ponies to order the exact same thing at the same time. If there was one thing ponies could never agree on, it was pizza toppings.

And then there were the identical grey hooded cloaks they all wore.

"Five more minutes, everypony!" a unicorn mare called out. She trotted up to the counter. "Your food is quite tasty," she said. "Your special talent is making pizza, is it not?"

"Of course it is," Deep Dish said, turning to show her his pizza slice Cutie Mark.

"And you're ever so good at it," the unicorn said pleasantly. "But doesn't it ever bother you that perhaps, just perhaps, there's somepony out there who's even better at it than you?"

"Well...not really, no," Deep Dish said.

"Oh, of course not!" the unicorn said, waving a hoof. "I mean, sure, there's probably somepony out there who can make a better pizza than you..." She narrowed her eyes. "Without it being their special talent..." She leaned forward. "While you've worked your whole life to live up to your Cutie Mark..."

Deep Dish frowned. "Lady, are you tryin' to start somethin' with me?"

"Oh, not at all!" the unicorn said, drawing back, eyes wide and innocent. "I'm only making conversation."

"Look, lady," Deep Dish said, "you and your friends've been givin' me the creeps since you got here, with your cloaks and your all orderin' the same thing and nopony talkin'. It just ain't natural. I'm gonna have to ask you to leave and never come back."

"Well, that's not very friendly of you," the unicorn said. "Did you all hear that? This pony is being most unfriendly! Do you see now, the difference between us and ponies who still have their Cutie Marks?"

"Yes," the ponies said in flat, lifeless voices.

Deep Dish blinked. "Wait...still have...?" His eyes widened. "Oh Celestia...! I've...I've heard about this in the news...! You're...you're that pony Princess Twilight has an arrest warrant out for!" His horn glowed, throwing back the mare's hood, revealing the smiling face of a pink unicorn with a green-striped purple mane.

"Well, well," Starlight Glimmer said, her expression turning cold. "I see the word is spreading...that could be a problem..."

"Just...just stay back! I'm calling the police!"

"Oh, I'm afraid I can't have that," Starlight Glimmer said. Her horn began to glow, projecting a pale turquoise beam at Deep Dish...

His horn lit up, and a pizza pan intercepted her spell. He turned it on its edge and hurled it at her like a missile, then ran for the service entrance through the kitchen.

Starlight Glimmer seized a wooden peel hanging next to the brick oven and sent it hurtling after him, striking him viciously across the back of the head. She panted heavily, snorting steam. "Well!" she huffed. She levitated the peel back to its resting place...then paused, bringing it closer and studying it curiously. "Hmm...you know, as much as I deplore violence..."

With a little spellwork, she fashioned a makeshift bandolier out of two aprons, tied it around her barrel, and slid the handle of the peel into it. "Time to go, my little ponies!" she called as she raised her hood back into place.

Starlight Glimmer's new followers filed out of the pizza parlor behind her, not speaking, not reacting, all stepping in perfect synchronization.

A Great And Powerful Rival!

Twilight bounced out of bed, excited and giddy, as the morning sun shone through her bedroom window, making the beautiful crystal of her castle sparkle in many different colors.

"Today's the day!" she sang to her empty bedroom. She opened her desk drawer, levitated out the journal that bore Celestia's Cutie Mark, and hugged it warmly. Tucking it under one wing, she pranced lightly out into the hall.

Spike emerged from his bedroom, yawning hugely. "Mornin', Twilight," he said. "You're in a good mood."

"I certainly aa~aaam!" Twilight beamed.

"Oh...kay..." Spike dug in his ear with a claw. "Why are you in such a good mood?"

Twilight giggled. "You'll find out soon enough!" She jerked to a sudden stop, one eye bugging out and one ear flapping.

"Twilight? You okay?" Spike asked.

"Uhh..." Twilight blushed and took the journal, which was glowing and vibrating, out from under her wing. "That...probably wasn't the best place to put a vibrating book," she said sheepishly.

"Oh, a message from Sunset Shimmer?" Spike asked with interest.

"Yep!" Twilight held the journal aloft in her aura. "I'll just...be a minute."

Spike snorted. "I'm gonna go make breakfast."

Twilight shook out her wing, then teleported directly to the mirror room.

* * * * *

Not long after the Cutie Map had appeared, Twilight had moved the portal mirror to its own room in the castle. She'd mainly done it because the unwieldy apparatus that allowed her to open the portal took up so much space that it got in the way of the piles upon piles of books she, Spike, and her friends had to contend with, but once she'd gotten a sense of just how much empty space she had in the castle, she had decided to give the portal its very own room, sealed by a spell only she could unlock. As the journal vibrated in the air beside her, she unsealed the door and strode in, opening the journal to the newest entry as she did so.

Twilight,
I'm ready to go! Just let me know when the portal's open.

Twilight giggled and wrote back: I'm opening the portal in two minutes.

Once her message was sent, she closed the book, then did a quick check of all the magical and alchemical equipment connected to the mirror. Nodding to herself, she gingerly levitated the book into its place of honor and activated the machine. Things spun around and dinged, sheets of magic were pulled through rollers like paper, and the surface of the mirror rippled, becoming a swirling vortex.

Twilight stepped back and waited.

An amber unicorn with a wavy copper-and-gold mane stepped out of the portal. She smiled warmly at Twilight. "Hey."

Twilight engulfed Sunset Shimmer in a hug. "It's so good to see you!" she said.

Sunset hugged her back. "Heh...thanks," she said. As the two friends separated, Sunset looked around the room. Her eyes bugged out. "Where...are we?"

Twilight laughed. "We're in my castle in Ponyville. I had the mirror moved here back when I got your message about the Sirens."

Sunset took a slower look around and whistled. "Wow," she said. "This is fancier than Princess Celestia's castle!"

"Yeah, but it's really cold and echoy," Twilight said. "We're still working on it. Oh, but this room is just for the portal, so I'm not putting anything much in here."

Sunset turned to look behind her, giving the portal apparatus an appraising glance. "Wow," she said. "I don't think I could've come up with something like this."

"Oh, I'd better turn off the portal!" Twilight said. "Better safe than sorry!" Her horn glowed, and the portal shut down, all the little spinny and whirly things on the apparatus stopping.

"So what did you want to talk about?" Sunset asked. "It must be important if you wanted me to come back to Equestria."

"It is, actually," Twilight said. She sat down and folded back her ears. "Sunset Shimmer...I may need your help dealing with, well...a criminal."

"A criminal? And you need my help?" Sunset asked, blinking. "Uhh...aren't you an alicorn princess? And you've got your friends, and, well...Princess Celestia...not to mention the entire Royal Guard..."

Twilight sighed. "It's a complicated situation," she said. "There's...there's a unicorn out there named Starlight Glimmer. We ran into her several weeks ago in a remote part of Equestria. Sunset, she...she can remove ponies' Cutie Marks."

Sunset gasped, drawing up a hoof. "WHAT?!"

"She...she got me and my friends," Twilight said. "She replaced our Cutie Marks with black equal signs that...that suppressed our natural talents. She had an entire village brainwashed into believing that ponies can only be friends if everypony is exactly the same, with no special talents and no Cutie Marks."

Sunset paled. "That's...that's sick!"

"Well...we exposed her for the fraud she is, and those ponies got their Cutie Marks back and helped us get ours back—it's a really long story—but Starlight Glimmer escaped." Twilight swallowed. "She's dangerous, Sunset. Her magic is on par with mine when I was still a unicorn...probably yours too. And, well...she's unstable."

Sunset sat down. "Oh my gosh..."

"I'd rather not throw a wall of ponies at her, and involving Celestia and Luna would be a really bad idea. She's...she's too dangerous and unpredictable. I do have an arrest warrant out for her, and word has spread as far as Vanhoover by now, but..." Twilight shook her head. "I don't think anypony short of, well...me...has a chance of actually subduing her." She looked at Sunset. "Or...or possibly you."

"That's why you called me back to Equestria," Sunset said.

"I can't force you to help me hunt down Starlight Glimmer," Twilight said. "I just...I just hoped you'd—"

Sunset smiled and raised a hoof. "Say no more. I'll do whatever I can." She sighed. "I guess...I'll have to cancel my plans with my friends, won't I?"

Twilight shook her head. "Until I have news of her whereabouts, there's no point in you staying here indefinitely. I just...I just wanted..." She sighed. "I needed to talk to somepony who really understands unicorns with that kind of power." Her ears wilted slightly. "Some princess I am, huh?"

Sunset shook her head. "Even princesses need advice sometimes. Besides, I...I kind of owe you one, you know? You've helped me so much..." She frowned. "But, really? Just the two of us against what sounds like a pony who can create an army to protect her? If I'm understanding what happened?"

"Well...it won't just be us," Twilight said, scratching one hoof with the other. "There's...one other unicorn who—I hope—might actually be useful when the time comes to face Starlight Glimmer."

"Oh? Who? Rarity?"

Twilight shook her head. "Rarity doesn't...have the kind of magic we need." Her ears pinned back nervously. "I've...taken on a student, actually. A unicorn who needs help with both her magic and friendship, but...who might actually turn into a decent pony and the powerful magician she thinks she is." She took a deep breath. "I'm talking about...Trixie."

Sunset's eyes bugged out. "Trixie. Trixie."

"I know, I know! But I really think...she can be..." Twilight trailed off. "Well, you'll see for yourself when you meet her."

"Is she anything like our Trixie?" Sunset asked.

Twilight laughed sheepishly. "Well...yeah..."

Sunset groaned. "Wonderful."

"Give her a chance," Twilight said. "She's...she's making progress."

"If you say so," Sunset said dubiously. She popped her back and looked around. "So," she said awkwardly, "what do we do now?"

"Well—"

The door opened, and Spike's head poked through. "Oh, there you are Twili—" Spike trailed off, jaw dropping.

Twilight turned and smiled at him. "Spike? Set an extra plate for breakfast. We have a guest."

Sunset Shimmer waved sheepishly, smiling. "Hey."

Spike's jaw worked soundlessly for a long moment. "Like your eggs scrambled?" he asked lamely.

"Scrambled's great!"

Twilight and Sunset followed Spike out into the hall and down the many stairs to the dining room, Sunset gaping around in awe and wonder the entire way.

* * * * *

Twilight, Spike, and Sunset emerged into the tastefully-appointed dining room to find an annoyed blue unicorn already seated at the table.

"At last you show yourself, Twilight Sparkle! Trixie was wondering what was taking you so long." Trixie blinked at the unicorn who trotted a pace behind and to Twilight's right. "Oh? We have a guest?"

"Trixie, I'd like you to meet a very good friend of mine, Sunset Shimmer."

Sunset eyed Trixie uncertainly. "Uhh...hi," she said.

Trixie nodded. "Hello. Are you from out of town?"

"You...could say that," Sunset said.

"Sunset Shimmer was Princess Celestia's personal student before me," Twilight said.

Sunset rubbed a hoof nervously. "Yeah...I learned a lot about magic, but I didn't learn a thing about friendship." She glanced sideways at Twilight. "It took Princess Twilight and her friends to teach me that."

Trixie smirked. "Oh? You claim to know a lot about magic?" She tossed her mane. "Perhaps you know a spell or two, but Trixie severely doubts you will impress her."

"Trixie," Twilight growled, facehoofing.

Sunset leaned closer. "Wow, she's exactly like the other Trixie," she whispered.

"Eh, she's not quite as bad," Twilight whispered back. She cleared her throat. "Sunset Shimmer, why don't you show Trixie what you can do?"

Sunset smirked. "It's been a while," she said. Her horn glowed teal...

She vanished in a burst of light, reappearing across the table from Trixie. She vanished again, walking into the dining room from the opposite door. In another burst of light, she vanished again, reappearing next to Twilight.

Trixie's jaw dropped.

Sunset flipped her mane. "Still got it," she said.

Trixie shook her head. "It was bad enough when it was Twilight Sparkle doing that," she muttered. "Don't you ponies know teleportation is supposed to be one of the hardest skills for a unicorn to master?"

Sunset snorted. "Teleportation is easy. I could do it in my sleep." She paused, tilting her head. "Actually, I think I did do it in my sleep once..."

Twilight trotted over to the table and sat down. "Sunset Shimmer is my equal in terms of sheer magical ability," she said. "Or at least, she would be if I was still a unicorn."

Sunset raised an eyebrow. "That almost sounded like a challenge, Twilight."

Twilight gave her a half-lidded look. "Do you really want to go there?" she asked with a teasing grin.

Sunset laughed. "Pass," she said. "I've been away from Equestria so long that even just teleporting around the dining room took more out of me than I'd care to admit." She frowned. "I can't believe how out of shape I am."

"Well, if you'd come back more often...maybe one day a week? You could retrain your horn, get back in shape..." Twilight's brow furrowed. "I'm sure your friends would understand. Besides, I really do need you in top condition for..."

"Yeah," Sunset said. She glanced at Trixie. "Besides, no offense, but if Trixie can't even teleport, it doesn't sound like she'll be much help against this Starlight Glimmer."

Twilight made a frantic shushing motion, but it was too late. Trixie's ears pricked up even as she bristled at the perceived slight. "I beg your pardon?"

"She doesn't know yet!" Twilight hissed. "I haven't told her anything about that!"

Sunset blinked. "Wow. Really? Why not?"

"You know what Trixie's ego is like!" Twilight cried, waving her hooves. "If she knew I wanted her help hunting down a rogue unicorn, she'd—"

"Yeah yeah, I get the picture," Sunset said, grimacing. She shook her head. "Still..."

Trixie cleared her throat loudly. "If the two of you would like to continue rudely talking about Trixie as though she isn't here, Trixie will GLADLY LEAVE!"

Twilight and Sunset shared a sheepish glance. "Uhh...sorry, Trixie," Twilight said.

"Yeah, sorry," Sunset said.

Trixie sniffed. "If you're truly sorry, you will let Trixie in on what's going on here."

Sunset glanced at Twilight. Twilight shrugged and sighed. "Okay, Trixie, but settle in, because it's a long story..."

For the next hour, Twilight told Trixie all about Sunset Shimmer, the alternate world through the portal, and how she'd been reformed by alternate versions of Twilight's friends...and then helped the same girls and Twilight defeat three dangerous renegade magical creatures from Equestria, while at the same time dealing with the jealous machinations of an alternate Trixie. After that, Twilight told the story of the Cutie Map, and how it guided her and her friends to the village Starlight Glimmer had created, and her horrific power to strip ponies of their Cutie Marks.

Once Twilight finished her story, Trixie nodded thoughtfully. "A most interesting tale, and Trixie agrees...a unicorn with enough power to challenge an alicorn princess and win is nopony to be taken lightly." She raised an eyebrow. "Although it does amuse Trixie to hear that the mighty Twilight Sparkle had her flank handed to her several times over."

Twilight bristled, her wings flaring. "Only because I didn't understand what I was up against!" she cried. "Starlight Glimmer caught me by surprise!"

"Oh, I wasn't just talking about her," Trixie said. "I was also talking about Sunset Shimmer, those Sirens, this other Trixie..." She smirked. "Yes, it rather pleases Trixie to know that somewhere out there, there is another Trixie who has vexed you, Twilight Sparkle."

"You really want me to turn you into an orange this morning, don't you?" Twilight said, narrowing her eyes and making a face.

"I could go for some orange juice," Sunset said brightly.

Trixie stuck her tongue out at them.

Spike walked in from the kitchen. "Hey, Trixie! Do your chores!"

Trixie groaned in annoyance. "Coming," she bit off tersely, rising from the table and trotting to the kitchen.

Sunset shot Twilight a sideways glance. "So. That's your first student."

"Yep."

"Wow."

"Yep."

* * * * *

After breakfast, Twilight showed Sunset around the castle. Sunset's eyes were wide in awe and wonder as she took in the cavernous crystal halls. "This...this is amazing," she said.

"We're still putting in some finishing touches," Twilight said. "Come on, let's go to the library."

"Alright." The two headed for a staircase, which they took down to a long hallway. Two more staircases and five more hallways later, they were in a large library crammed full of books, scrolls, maps, charts, globes, ink, and quills. Sunset's jaw dropped. "Whoa."

"It's not as cozy as my old library," Twilight said. "I'm still not completely happy with how it's organized." She sighed. "I miss my old library..." At Sunset's questioning glance, she explained, "I used to live in the Golden Oak Library, down in Ponyville. It was a big musty tree full of books, not a whole lot of living space, but it was just right for me and Spike and occasional slumber parties." She smiled wistfully. "It...it burned down."

"Oh, Twilight...I'm so sorry..."

Twilight shrugged. "I'm...coping. My friends went out of their way to make a chandelier out of the library's roots—you'll see it when we go down to the throne room—and...having a little piece of my old home helps." Her eyes suddenly shone. "Hey! I've got something to show you! Follow me!" She turned and cantered to the door. Sunset followed her.

Through more halls and down more stairs they went, until finally they stood in a round, cavernous room with six crystal chairs surrounding a large crystal table. Gnarled old tree roots hung from the ceiling above the table, with tiny shimmering gems suspended from them.

"This is the throne room," Twilight said. "Or as me and my friends call it, the Map Room."

"The...Map Room?" Sunset trotted up to the table and saw that it was in fact a massive, detailed map of Equestria and the surrounding lands. "Whoa..."

"This is the Cutie Map," Twilight said. "Whenever there's a problem somewhere in Equestria that my friends and I need to solve, the Map summons us and shows us where to go."

Sunset blinked. "That's...that's magic I've never even heard of!"

"Celestia and Luna were surprised too," Twilight said. "The Tree of Harmony's mysteries are boundless..."

"There you are, Twilight Sparkle!" Trixie trotted up to them, a cross look on her face. "How long were you planning on keeping Trixie waiting with no company but that irascible reptile?"

"Sorry, Trixie, I was just showing Sunset Shimmer around—"

"Princess Twilight? Princess Twilight?" a voice called from the entrance hall.

Sunset blinked. "I know that voice..."

Twilight's ears cocked. "In here, Derpy!"

A grey pegasus careened up the stairs, bounced off the ceiling, veered into a wall, then landed on her hooves in front of the three mares. She shook her head, her golden eyes spinning. "Oh there you are," she said. "Your castle's really hard..." Her ears twitched and her eyes stopped spinning. She gasped, focusing her good eye on Twilight. "Nevermind that! Princess, there's a monster in Ponyville! You gotta come quick!"

"Ooh, a monster?" Sunset said excitedly, bouncing on her hooves.

"Wanna help?" Twilight asked, grinning.

"You bet!"

Trixie frowned. "Trixie will have you know she has far more monster-fighting experience than the two of you put together!"

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Oh you do, do you? This wouldn't have anything to do with Ursa Majors now, would it?"

Trixie cringed, a petulant frown on her muzzle. "Must you bring that up, Twilight Sparkle?"

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Alright, come on. Besides, you could use the practice." She smirked. "That is, if Sunset Shimmer doesn't beat the monster before you even get to do anything."

Derpy tilted her head with a confused frown. "Are you gonna stand around talking all day or are you gonna come save Ponyville?"

"We're on our way!" Twilight said. Her horn flared brilliantly...

* * * * *

"GAH! WARN me next time, Twilight!" Sunset cried. She shook herself down, smoothing out her frazzled mane. "I could've teleported myself, you know!"

"Sorry!"

"Twilight Sparkle enjoys flaunting her power by teleporting other ponies against their will," Trixie said. "Trixie feels violated every time she is subjected to Twilight's teleportation whims."

"Trixie is about to find out first-hoof what poison joke does to a pony if she keeps complaining," Twilight said. "Now come on!"

As the three mares approached Ponyville proper, they heard the screams and shrieks of townsponies who were running to and fro in a panic.

"The horror! THE HORROR!" Roseluck cried as she stampeded past.

Sharing a concerned look, Twilight and Sunset charged in the direction most of the ponies were coming from, Trixie a pony length behind them.

In the heart of town, they found Rainbow Dash and Rarity facing off against...a really big, really disturbing thing.

Its body was a giant rectangular white block, shiny and jiggly and disturbingly wrong. A big, knobbly pair of scaly bird legs extended from its base, ending in serrated talons. Huge brown wings were spread out at its side, and a broad tail of fanned brown feathers spread from its backside. A long neck with a red wattle extended from its front, ending in a small turkey head with beady eyes and a long, sharp beak.

Sunset boggled. "What the heck is THAT?"

"I don't know, but I can't shake the feeling the Cutie Mark Crusaders have something to do with it," Twilight said.

Trixie frowned. "Perhaps because it's attacking them as we speak?"

Indeed, the bizzare monster was spitting tiny, jiggling white rectangular blobs of itself at three fillies, who were scampering around in a blind frenzy. Each rectangular blob that hit the ground sprouted legs, wings, a head, and a tail, resembling miniature versions of the monster; they chased after the Crusaders, pecking the hapless fillies all over.

"TWILIGHT!" Rainbow cried, flying over. "Whew, am I glad you're here! Please tell me you know how to stop this thing!" She glanced at Trixie. "And please tell me she's not responsible for it!"

"I haven't even left the castle in two days!" Trixie cried, tossing her mane indignantly.

"Yeah, well you didn't have to leave the castle to summon that book golem either!"

"THAT WAS NOT TRIXIE'S FAULT!"

"Umm...excuse me, Rainbow Dash," Sunset said. "What...IS that thing?"

Rainbow blinked at her in confusion. "Huh? Who are y—" She paused, her muzzle crinkling. "Wait. I've seen you before." Her eyes flew open wide. "You're Sunset Shimmer!"

"Yeah," Sunset said. "But enough about me, what about that...thing?"

"It's a Tofurkey," Pinkie Pie said, having suddenly appeared in their midst. "Hi, Sunset Shimmer! I'll throw you a welcome back to Equestria party as soon as we do something about this Tofurkey!"

"How do you even know what all these freaky bird monsters ARE, Pinkie Pie?" Rainbow cried.

"I've seen many things," Pinkie said sagely. "Many things."

Applejack charged up the road, followed by Fluttershy. "Sorry it took so long!" Applejack cried. "Whoa nelly, that's one UGLY critter!"

"Pinkie Pie, how do we stop this thing?" Twilight asked.

Pinkie shrugged. "Don't look at me. I have no idea how to stop a Tofurkey. Last one I saw was in Hoofston, and I didn't stick around to see how it ended." She tilted her head. "I guess we could eat it...y'know, like when that Turducken went after those fillies..."

"Uh-uh," Rainbow said with a shudder. "No way in all Equestria I'm eatin' THAT."

"Yes, Trixie agrees. It does look quite...unappealing."

Sunset blinked. "Wait. Turducken?"

"Yeah, we had a wild Turducken loose in Ponyville a while back," Pinkie said. "Now that was a nasty bird monster."

"And this ISN'T?" Trixie cried.

"EXCUSE me," a new voice interrupted frostily. Rarity, her mane and tail in complete disarray and her hooficure chipped, trotted briskly up to the group. "If you all wouldn't mind, I seem to be the only one actually FIGHTING THIS MONSTER at the moment!"

"Whoops! Sorry, Rarity!" Rainbow said.

"Let's truss up this turkey!" Applejack said with a grin.

"Tofurkey!" Pinkie corrected.

"Pinkie Pie, Applejack, I need the two of you to round up all the little Tofurkeys," Twilight said, conjuring a huge steel cage.

"Right!" Pinkie replied, saluting. She charged after the nearest group of mini-Tofurkeys, gobbling like a turkey to attract their attention.

"You got it, Twilight!" Applejack adjusted her hat and charged into action, her lasso already swinging.

"Everypony else, let's take this thing down!"

"I've got this!" Sunset cried. Her horn glowed, and she disappeared in a teal flash. She reappeared on the Tofurkey's back. It gobbled angrily and thrashed around, but she dug her hooves in, grimacing with the strain as a massive pulse of magic built up in her horn. She lowered her head and shot a sparkling pale green beam at the Tofurkey's head. Its eyes glazed over, its neck drooped, and it wobbled on its feet.

Sunset wiped her forehead with a hoof. "It's okay!" she called. "My sleep spell's never failed before!"

The Tofurkey shook its head violently, craned its neck around, plucked Sunset off its back, and threw her at the nearest house. "GAH!" she cried, shielding herself with her hooves.

She disappeared in a magenta flash, soft-landing beside Twilight, who swooped in and erected a barrier between herself and the Tofurkey.

Sunset picked herself up, groaning. "Thanks," she said.

"Don't mention it."

"That was embarrassing," Sunset muttered.

Trixie trotted up, a smug smirk on her face. "It looks as though the oh-so-great Sunset Shimmer doesn't live up to her reputation!"

"Hey! I haven't had a horn for more than a few minutes in the last few years!" Sunset protested. "What's your excuse?"

Trixie tossed her mane. "Watch and be amazed," she said. She strode confidently forward, her purple cape billowing dramatically. "HOLD, foul beast! You stand in the presence of the Great and Powerful TRRRRRIX—"

The Tofurkey puked up a slimy, shiny white block of itself, which smacked Trixie right in the face. It slowly slid off her muzzle, landing with a wet *plap* on the ground, then turned into a smaller Tofurkey.

Trixie's muzzle worked soundlessly for a moment; she blinked numbly at the monster. A frown worked its way across her face. "That was uncalled for," she said tonelessly. Her horn glowed, and she levitated a large, ripe honeydew melon out of a nearby vendor's cart. When the Tofurkey opened its beak again, she hurled the melon right into its gob. It stuck in the Tofurkey's craw; the monster bird's eyes bugged out as it hacked and hacked, thrashing around and trying madly to dislodge the obstruction.

Trixie smirked and tossed her mane. "Voila."

"Oh, that poor monster," Fluttershy said sadly.

"Wow, Trixie...that wasn't half bad," Sunset said.

"Well of course!" Trixie said arrogantly. "After all, Trixie is the greatest unicorn in all Eques—"

With one violent cough and a whiplike crack of its neck, the Tofurkey shot the melon out of its craw with the force of a cannonbolt. It caught Trixie right in the chest and sent her flying; she crashed through the front window of the nearest building.

"TRIXIE!" Twilight shot a wide purple beam of magic at the Tofurkey, stunning it, then teleported into the building Trixie had crashed through.

"You big MONSTER!" Fluttershy let out a battle cry and performed a diving drop kick into the Tofurkey's back. Her hoof sank several inches into its soft, slimy hide. She blinked repeatedly. Rainbow swooped in and caught Fluttershy under her forelegs, pulling with all her might until Fluttershy's hoof came loose; the two pegasi flew out of the way just in time to avoid a savage pecking.

A lasso caught the Tofurkey around the neck; Applejack dug in with all her strength and pulled violently, trying to wrangle the monster to the ground. The Tofurkey gobbled angrily and thrashed around, spitting out another rectangular egg-block, which beaned Applejack on the nose before turning into another angry, pecking mini-Tofurkey. Applejack had no choice but to relax her grip on the rope.

The door behind Sunset burst open, and a thoroughly disheveled Trixie stormed out, picking dozens of little shards of glass out of tiny bleeding cuts. "Trixie. Is. PISSED," Trixie snarled. Her horn glowed, and she shot a pencil-thin beam of blindingly bright magic right into the Tofurkey's eye. It screeched furiously, thrashing its head around madly. It scrambled up to Trixie, grabbed her by the mane, and flung her high into the air.

Rainbow flew up, caught Trixie, and carried her back to the ground.

Twilight returned to the battlefield. "This is worse than fighting a Timberwolf," she said. She turned to Sunset. "Any ideas?"

"That depends," Sunset said. "Do we want to capture this thing or kill it? Because I can think of like a dozen ways to kill it...I think..."

Fluttershy gasped. "It's a living thing!" she cried. "We shouldn't hurt it any more than we absolutely have to!"

Rainbow Dash buzzed the Tofurkey; it snapped at her, catching her in her side. She screamed as she went down hard, plowing into the dirt.

"Oh, I'm hurting it!" Twilight snarled. Her horn flared, and dozens of glowing magenta chains sprang out, wrapping tightly around the Tofurkey, binding its wings. With a pained grunt of effort, she hauled it off its feet and began slamming it against every solid surface she could find. After almost a full minute, her magical chains snapped, and the Tofurkey flared its wings, screeching furiously at her. Twilight had no time to recover before the Tofurkey slammed into her, sending her flying spine-first into a wall.

"TWILIGHT!" the others cried.

Twilight sat up, eyes spinning dizzily. "I'm okay," she mumbled.

"Alright, that's it," Sunset growled. "Enough is enough!" She planted her hooves firmly on the ground, lowered her head, narrowed her eyes, and gritted her teeth as her horn began to glow brightly.

"Sunset, what are you—" Twilight began as Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie helped her to her hooves.

"Run," Sunset ground out.

The air all around them began to heat up, rippling and shimmering.

"GAH!" Twilight cried, eyes wide as she retreated from the rapidly superheating air around the Tofurkey.

"What is she...?" Trixie wondered. Twilight grabbed her by the tail and dragged her to a safe distance. All around them, the others began to scatter.

The Tofurkey wobbled in place, swinging its head to and fro in confusion as the heat intensified. The air itself began to glow red, with white-hot sparks arcing inward from the heated airmass, centering themselves on the monster. The angry red glow of the air pocket cast a blood-red wash over Ponyville, and a low, dangerous hum washed over the town.

The superheated air pocket collapsed in on the Tofurkey all at once in a rush, creating a white-hot point just around its body. It held for a moment, still and eerily silent, before...

The mass of heated air EXPLODED outward, bursting into flames that rippled across the screaming Tofurkey's body, which began to blacken and blister and melt. Ponies covered their ears as a series of loud explosions cracked out from the epicenter of the blast.

The air suddenly, violently cooled, the vacuum filling with a thunderclap. Burnt chunks of Tofurkey rained down on Ponyville.

Sunset panted with exhaustion, sweat dripping from her bangs. "Whew."

"What. The. HECK?" Rainbow cried, jaw scraping the ground.

A trembling Fluttershy, hiding behind Rainbow, peered at Sunset with wide, horrified eyes. "That was scary," she whispered.

Trixie stared at Sunset, eyes wide as saucers. "What...what was that?"

Twilight crept slowly toward Sunset, a supremely unnerved expression on her face. "Sunset Shimmer?" she asked hesitantly.

"Yes, Twilight?"

"Was...was that...was that Fusion Flare?"

"Yeah."

Twilight frowned. "Umm..." She shook her head. "Sorry, I just...why do you even know that spell?"

Sunset blew upward on her bangs. "Twilight...my Cutie Mark is the sun. What, you didn't think maybe I might specialize in certain kinds of magic?" She rolled her eyes. "It's just that, well...it's not exactly magic you can use regularly. Or safely." She paused. "Or legally."

Twilight took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Right. Okay. Just...please don't ever cast that spell again. I'm serious."

Sunset looked away guiltily. "Yeah, okay."

"Well...at least we're not gonna hafta eat the monster," Pinkie said after a long, awkward silence.

Rainbow trotted up to Sunset Shimmer, a serious look in her eyes. She laid a hoof on Sunset's shoulder. "Sunset Shimmer?" she began.

"Yes, Rainbow Dash?"

"That..." Rainbow grinned. "...was the most AWESOME thing I've ever seen any unicorn do!" She laughed maniacally. "You totally ROCK!"

Sunset rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. "Umm...thanks?"

"C'mon everypony!" Rainbow yelled. "Let's celebrate! First round of cider's on me!"

One of the little Tofurkeys ran up to her and pecked her viciously in the knee.

The others stared at it.

"We...still have a little cleaning up to do," Twilight said.

* * * * *

By evening, all the Tofurkeys had been captured and caged, and Twilight had summoned the Royal Guard to take them to Canterlot. While Rainbow and Trixie were patched up at the Ponyville Clinic, Twilight had written a report on the incident to Princess Celestia, but had judiciously left out Sunset Shimmer's involvement.

An exhausted group of mares gathered around the dining room table in Twilight's castle, where Spike had laid out a simple but filling supper. "Well," Sunset said, "my first day back in Equestria certainly was exciting."

"We're all so lucky you were here, Sunset," Twilight said. "Even if I don't entirely approve of how you defeated the Tofurkey, I think we can all agree it would've been a lot worse if you hadn't been there to fight alongside us."

"Yeah," Rainbow said. "It's good to have a unicorn around who knows what she's doing and can actually do the stuff she thinks she can!"

Sunset laughed self-consciously. "I just..." She looked down at her plate. "I just wanted to help however I could."

"Shucks, sugarcube, don't be so modest," Applejack said. "Heck, Ah think you just proved why you were Celestia's student before Twilight came along!"

Sunset smiled, but it didn't quite meet her eyes. "Yeah. I also proved why she cast me out."

Twilight shook her head. "You used your magic to protect ponies," she said. "To protect your friends. I think Celestia would be proud of you right now." Her muzzle furrowed. "Buuuuut...I didn't tell her you're here, and I certainly didn't tell her about that spell you used."

"Thanks," Sunset said. "I don't think I'm ready to deal with...to deal with facing her just yet." She looked up and smiled. "Maybe...maybe next time I'm here."

Rarity raised an eyebrow. "You're not...you're not leaving already, are you?"

"Huh? Oh...no," Sunset said, shaking her head. "I'm here for the week. Didn't Twilight tell you?"

"I didn't tell anypony you were coming," Twilight said. "I wanted it to be a surprise."

"Oh, okay." Sunset took a sip of water. "Well, I've got a week to kill before I have to go back—my friends and I rented a beach house in the islands for a couple of weeks." She smiled. "Really looking forward to that. Anyway, I'm also looking forward to getting to know all of you better...I mean, I already kinda know all of you, because you're the pony versions of my friends back home, but..."

"That's...still kinda weird to think about," Rainbow said. "That there's two of all of us, I mean."

"Well, I certainly hope the rest of your visit is less stressful than today," Twilight said. "I mean, other than the part where we have to talk about..." She looked around the table, took a deep breath, and continued, "Starlight Glimmer."

The mood at the table instantly turned tense.

"So that's why Sunset Shimmer is here," Rarity said.

"Huh?" Rainbow said, blinking. "I don't get it."

Twilight sighed. "I've asked Sunset Shimmer to help me deal with Starlight Glimmer," she said. "I thought long and hard about it, and it makes more sense for me and one or two talented unicorns to go after her than it does to send a whole bunch of ponies after her. I mean...you girls saw what she's capable of."

"Yeah..." Fluttershy said sadly.

"Don't misunderstand!" Twilight said. "You girls are all my friends, and you know I'm proud to have all of you by my side whenever anything bad happens! Together we've faced down Nightmare Moon, Discord, Changelings, and all sorts of other things! It's just..." She trailed off, looking down at the table. "I think this might be the one time..."

"Totally get it," Rainbow said. "Fight fire with fire, right?"

"Shoot, make sense t'me," Applejack said. "Starlight's like an evil, deranged version of you. Sunset used to be an evil, deranged version of you." She glanced at Sunset. "Uhh...no offense."

Sunset snorted. "None taken."

"I do suppose it's handy to have another unicorn around as gifted and powerful as Twilight," Rarity said.

As the girls continued to talk about Sunset Shimmer, Trixie sat at her place at the table, eyes narrowed, and fumed silently.

*Sunset Shimmer...Trixie will prove she is your superior even if it kills her...*

A Great And Powerful Crusader! (Part One)

Sunset's plan to avoid letting Celestia know she was back in Equestria didn't even survive until breakfast the next day.

"Good morning, Twilight!" the bright, cheerful voice of Princess Celestia rang out as, in a golden burst of sunlight, she appeared in the dining room of Twilight's castle. "I made some time in my schedule to have breakfast and catch up with you and your student!"

She looked around the room, smiling as she saw Twilight seated primly, a book floating beside her; Trixie Lulamoon, her usual disaffected air of superiority firmly in place; Sunset Shimmer, staring at her with wide, terrified eyes...

Wait.

Celestia blinked, shook her head, then blinked again. Her ears fell back. "S-Sunset...Shimmer?"

"Umm..." Sunset gulped, raising a hoof and waving timidly. "H-hi?"

"Good morning, Princess Celestia!" Twilight said brightly. "Please, join us! Spike's making waffles and hay bacon!"

"I...I..." Celestia walked numbly over to the table, her eyes never leaving Sunset Shimmer.

Trixie watched the ruler of Equestria, a frown on her face.

Twilight coughed. "I invited Sunset Shimmer to return to Equestria for a few days so I could talk to her about joining my secret task force," she said. "Sunset asked me...not to tell you she was here. Yet. She wanted..."

"I wanted...time to brace myself for this moment," Sunset finished in a whisper. "Princess Celestia, I'm so sorry!" she cried.

Celestia shook herself and smiled sadly. "You are forgiven, my little pony, but we have much to talk about. In private. After breakfast." Celestia tilted her head at Twilight. "Task force?"

Trixie chose that moment to make her presence known. "The reformed fugitive Sunset Shimmer will be assisting the Great and Powerful TRRRRRIXIE! in the apprehension of the criminal Starlight Glimmer," she said importantly.

"Assisting you?" Sunset said incredulously.

Twilight whapped Trixie upside the head with her book. "Both of them will be helping me subdue Starlight Glimmer once she's located," she said.

"Hmm." Celestia nodded slowly. "I see where you're going with this, and I agree. That's an excellent strategy." She tilted her head and glanced at Sunset. "But...does that mean you'll be remaining in Equestria until Starlight Glimmer is captured?"

"Only if we catch her this week," Sunset said. "I've got plans with my friends. After that, I'll be coming back when Twilight needs me. I'm usually less than twenty minutes from the portal by motorbike."

"And I doubt finding Starlight Glimmer will be that easy in any case," Twilight said.

Spike trotted out carrying a platter stacked high with waffles and a skillet full of bacon. He blinked at their unexpected guest. "Oh, umm...good morning, Your Highness," he said. He looked at what he was carrying, then sighed. "You four get started on this. I'll...I'll go make some more..."

"I'm sorry to put you to the trouble, Spike."

"Nah, it's cool. I just wish I knew you were coming ahead of time." Spike trotted off to the kitchen.

Sunset watched him go with a thoughtful frown. "Twilight? Why do you have Spike doing everything around here? Shouldn't you have...I dunno, staff? Maids, cooks, all that?"

Twilight made a stuck sound in her throat as she floated three waffles and several strips of bacon onto her plate. "Servants? M-me? Noooononononononono. No."

Celestia laughed softly. "Twilight...you're a princess now. The sheer size of this castle alone...you can't reasonably expect Spike to take care of it all by himself."

"And Trixie is certainly tired of being ordered about by that pestilent lizard," Trixie said. Celestia shot her a warning glance.

"They're right, Twilight," Sunset said. "You're a princess. You've got a big castle. You need ponies to keep it up."

"And your own contingent of guards as well," Celestia said.

Twilight raised a hoof. "I draw the line at guards," she said. "A cleaning and cooking staff..." She sighed. "Yeah...I guess I can agree to that. I mean, I'm working Spike too hard, and I know it." She shook her head. "But I don't feel comfortable having ponies wait on me, and I really wouldn't feel right about having a royal guard."

Celestia smiled as she took a bite of waffles. "Very well," she said. "We'll start small. A staff of...say, ten ponies? With Spike in charge of the staff?" she added as Spike waddled back in from the kitchen, carrying another platter of waffles.

"That sounds good to me," Spike said as he plopped himself at the table. "I like being in charge of things."

"Oooooooh no," Twilight said. "I need Spike to keep being my number one assistant. He can't do that if he's lording it over a bunch of grown ponies." She cast Spike a glance. "Which is exactly what he'd do."

Spike rolled his eyes. "Well, it was worth a shot."

Celestia laughed musically. "Alright. I'll find a very competent unicorn to take charge of your staff."

Twilight laid her head flat on the table and groaned. "All this talk about having a staff and guards and stuff is making me really uncomfortable," she grumbled.

"Oh, get over it," Sunset snapped, but she smiled warmly at Twilight as she did so. "You're a princess. There's certain things that come with the crown." She frowned. "Speaking of which..." She glanced meaningfully up at Twilight's bare head.

Celestia raised an eyebrow. "She's right, Twilight. You do need to start dressing the part." She raised her own gold-shod hoof for emphasis. "Even Princess Cadance was not this recalcitrant about wearing her regalia."

Twilight let out a frustrated groan. "UGH! FINE!" In a flash, she teleported away.

"Is she always like this?" Sunset asked.

"You have no idea," Spike muttered as he drowned his second helping of waffles in syrup.

Almost a minute later, Twilight reappeared, her small, five-pointed crown on her head; she also wore an understated gold peytral with a six-pointed topaz star and matching shoes. "There. I'm all princessy now. Happy?"

"It's a start," Celestia said mildly.

Sunset blinked. "Twilight? What happened to your other crown? The one with the Element of Magic?"

"That's...a long story..."

* * * * *

After breakfast, Sunset Shimmer returned to her suite with Princess Celestia for a private talk. Twilight, meanwhile, decided to go for a morning flight to burn off the calories from breakfast. With Spike cleaning up the breakfast dishes, that left Trixie to her own devices.

Trixie paced in the library, tail lashing angrily. "Oh, Sunset Shimmer, welcome back, my darling little pony," she said in a sneering mockery of Celestia's tones. "Oh, Sunset Shimmer! You're SO amazingly powerful! I'm SO happy to see you!" she continued in a snide parody of Twilight Sparkle's voice. "Sunset Shimmer, Sunset Shimmer, Sunset. Fucking. SHIMMER!" Trixie hurled several books around the room in a whirlwind of magical fury. "Everypony thinks Sunset Shimmer is SO special! Well TRIXIE IS SPECIAL TOO! TRIXIE KNOWS DOZENS OF SPELLS!" Trixie ceased her angry pacing and idly cleaned up her mess, then spread an array of books out in front of her.

"Trixie will PROVE that she is just as special and just as worthy of their praise and attention as Sunset Shimmer! But where to start...?"

Her eyes landed upon one book in particular: Advanced Spells For The Savvy Sorceror.

Trixie's eyes gleamed. "Of course..." She began to laugh.

"Just you wait, Sunset Shimmer. Trixie will prove she is the highest level unicorn!"

* * * * *

Princess Celestia and Sunset Shimmer spent the better part of an hour catching up after breakfast.

"So, you said you were here until the week's end?" Celestia asked, once Sunset had finished telling her all about her life in the human world.

"That's right," Sunset replied. "I have to go back on Sunday."

Celestia beamed. "That's perfect, then!" she said. "Friday just so happens to be the Grand Galloping Gala. Is there any chance I can talk you into attending?"

Sunset tilted her head. "The Gala? It's that time of year already? Wow..."

"Indeed," Celestia said. "Didn't Twilight mention it?"

Sunset shook her head. "We've been busy talking about other things."

"I see," Celestia replied, nodding thoughtfully. Her horn glowed, and a golden ticket appeared in a flash. "You are more than welcome to attend. I would be happy if you would."

Sunset smiled and took the ticket in her own aura. "Of course I'll come!" She leaned forward and nuzzled Celestia happily. She paused. "Oh my gosh! I've got to hurry and find a dress!"

Celestia laughed softly. "I believe Twilight's friend Rarity can help with that..."

Sunset's eyes widened. "Rarity. Of course!"

* * * * *

Twilight was just finishing up her last lap around Ponyville when Rainbow Dash flew up alongside her. "Hey, Twilight!" She looked Twilight over. "Any particular reason you're all princessed up today?"

Twilight sighed. "Celestia and Sunset Shimmer ganged up on me and insisted I start wearing my regalia."

"Well, they're right," Rainbow said with a shrug. "I mean, you are a princess. You gotta dress the part. I mean, if I get into the Wonderbolts, I'll have to wear a Wonderbolts flight suit. You're a princess, so you gotta wear...that stuff." She did a roll under Twilight and came up on her other side. "It's like a uniform."

Twilight blinked. "Huh. I never really thought of it that way."

"Besides, and I know this is gonna sound like something Rarity would say: There's been a lotta times lately where we'd have had an easier time of things if you, y'know, called more attention to your being a princess." Rainbow frowned. "Like tryin' to get a cab in Manehattan. You think anybody would've made you wait in line for a cab if you had on your crown and stuff? You gotta own this princess stuff, Twi."

"Hmm." Twilight frowned. "I guess..." She shook her head. "Anyway, I should be getting back. Princess Celestia put me in charge of planning this year's Grand Galloping Gala and I've got a full week of last-minute checks and coordination to do."

"Oh yeah, the Gala! I gotta swing by Rarity's and do the whole girly dress thing." Rainbow made a face. "Honestly, I'm only goin' for Scootaloo."

Twilight laughed. "Well, hopefully it won't be as awful as the last Gala we all went to."

"Nothing can possibly be as bad as that night," Rainbow said. "Later, Twi!"

As Rainbow flew off toward Carousel Boutique, Twilight headed for the sparkling spires of her castle.

"I wonder what Trixie's up to. She was pretty sullen at breakfast..."

An unfamiliar pegasus flew up alongside her, panting heavily. "Princess Twilight! You're needed at the train station!"

Twilight blinked. "What's going on?"

"There's a bunch of unicorns from Canterlot making a commotion! They're demanding to see you and they're blocking the platform!"

Twilight groaned. "Oh, for the love of...alright, I'll be right there..."

* * * * *

Sunset Shimmer returned to the castle, smiling happily after a pleasant morning in the company of Rarity. She'd spent enough time with her own world's Rarity that she didn't mind being measured, poked, and prodded; she found the unicorn version of her friend to be just as personable and generous.

She'd also had quite a few amusing tales about Twilight Sparkle.

"Twilight? Spike?" Sunset called out.

"In here," she heard Spike call from the dining room.

She trotted lightly in that direction, but as she rounded the corner, Trixie stepped out from behind one of the many jagged crystal formations that lined the halls of the castle. Trixie's head was raised, and the familiar arrogant superiority glimmered malevolently in her eyes. "Hello, Sunset Shimmer," Trixie said in a voice that dripped disdain.

"Uhh...hey, Trixie," Sunset said.

Trixie flipped her mane and laughed. "Trixie has a little surprise for you," she said. "Trixie will prove to you, to Twilight Sparkle, and to all of Equestria that the so-called former student of Princess Celestia is nothing special at all."

Sunset groaned, facehoofing. "Oh, for..." She shook her head. "Look, Trixie—"

"SILENCE!" Trixie snarled. "Prepare yourself, Sunset Shimmer! Prepare to face the unstoppable force of nature that is the GREAT AND POWERFUL—"

Sunset teleported past her into the dining room. "Hey, Spike?" Sunset asked as she trotted over to the table. "What's up with Trixie?"

At the table, Spike looked up from laying out a tray of cookies. "She's in one of her moods today," he said with a resigned sigh. "She was actually making pretty good progress until, well..." He trailed off.

"Until what?"

Spike bowed his head. "Until you came along," he said. "I think...she feels threatened by you."

"Oh..." Sunset looked away, eyes lowered.

"Hey!" Spike said, waving his claws frantically. "Don't..." He paused. "Look. Trixie's...complicated. She gets jealous easily, she—"

The doors burst open, and Trixie strode through. "AS TRIXIE WAS SAYING," she thundered, stalking toward Sunset.

Sunset sighed and gave Trixie a pitying, resigned look. "Look, Trixie..."

"No, YOU look! And be ASTOUNDED!" Trixie's horn began to glow and strobe brilliantly; she squinted against the harsh glare of her own magic. Sweat streamed down her face.

"Okay, now you're pushing it," Sunset said, her own horn beginning to glow as she lowered her head and pawed at the floor with a hoof. "Whatever you're about to do, you'd better make it good. You're not gonna get a second shot."

"Hey!" Spike cried, waving his claws frantically. "No magic duels, you two! If Twilight finds out, she'll kill me!"

"Trixie is about to take you back to SCHOOL, Sunset Shimmer!" The spell building up in Trixie's horn exploded outward in a brilliant flash...

...and collapsed in on itself, the full force of Trixie's magic enveloping her. Spike and Sunset shielded their eyes from the intense glow as Trixie cried out in alarm.

When the light faded, a much smaller Trixie sat on her rump on the crystal floor, blinking large, confused eyes.

Sunset stared at her. Blinked twice. Then started to snicker. Her snicker became a full-blown belly laugh as she rolled over on her back and clutched her stomach. "Oh...oh my gosh...!"

Spike started snickering too. "Oh man...!"

"Stop laughing!" Trixie said in a much higher-pitched, squeakier voice than usual. "Why are you laughing? Trixie will not..." Trixie trailed off, blinking. "Trixie feels...strange..."

Spike wiped tears of laughter from his eyes. "Hey Trixie! Congratulations! You finally mastered that age spell!"

"You sure did!" Sunset said between peals of laughter. "I guess you're not as much of a hack as I thought!" She rolled over on her stomach and eyed Trixie, grinning. "Now you just need to work on your aim!"

Spike lost it and fell over, rolling around on the ground.

Trixie frowned and stood up, pointing her nose at the ceiling indignantly. "Trixie has no idea what—"

Then she caught sight of her reflection in the crystal walls.

Her eyes widened, and she gasped.

Trixie had, against all odds, succeeded in turning herself into a small unicorn filly.

She started to sniffle, then burst into tears.

* * * * *

When Twilight returned from sorting out the confusion at the train platform, she heard loud whining and complaining coming from the direction of the dining room. "Ugh, what is it now?" Rustling her wings in irritation, she teleported directly to the dining room.

"—just wait until Twilight gets home, and—oh! Hey, Twilight!" Sunset said.

Twilight stared.

Sunset, a goofy smile on her face, sat at one end of the dining room table. A highly amused Spike sat nearby, munching cookies while propping his chin up with one claw and watching...

...a pouting, sniffling, complaining blue unicorn filly who was morosely dunking cookies in a big glass of milk.

Twilight blinked, shook her head, then stared some more. "Okay, what happened here?"

"Trixie tried to cast an age spell on Sunset Shimmer to show her up," Spike said. "It backfired."

"On the bright side, at least she actually managed to cast an age spell!" Sunset said. "That's pretty impressive."

Twilight covered her mouth with a hoof. "Oh...oh my," she giggled.

Trixie suddenly shot to her hooves, scrambled over to Twilight, and grabbed her around the ankle. "FIXITFIXITFIXIT!" she cried.

Twilight tilted her head at Trixie. "You cast the spell. Can't you cast the counterspell?"

"I do-don't know how!" Trixie complained. "I forgetted the spell when I shrank! An' my magic shrank with me!"

"Okay...well...that's definitely a problem," Twilight said. She sighed. "I'm sorry, Trixie. I don't know any counterspells for this."

"B-but—!" Trixie stepped back, tears shining in her eyes. "But you hafta help me! I don't wanna be a little filly!"

"I'm sorry, Trixie," Twilight said with a sheepish smile, fighting not to giggle. "I'm way too busy organizing this year's Grand Galloping Gala to deal with this right now." She tilted her head. "I'm sure you can survive like this for the rest of the week, right? I promise after the Gala, I'll get you back to normal. Umm...somehow."

"But...but...!"

"Gotta go!" And in a flash, Twilight was gone.

Trixie skulked off to her room, pouting. "This sucks..."

After Trixie left, Sunset stage-whispered to Spike, "Twilight could fix this in two seconds, couldn't she?"

"Yep."

"She's letting Trixie stew to teach her a lesson, isn't she?"

"Yep."

"Wow. She really is Celestia's star student."

"Yep!"

* * * * *

Trixie climbed up onto the plush, luxurious bed in her room, curled up in the center, and sank into a deep, sulky pout. "They all think I'm just a joke," she said. "They laugh at me. 'Oh look, Trixie messed up another spell. Oh look, Trixie thinks she's good at magic. Oh look, Trixie turned herself into a foal, isn't that cute?' I'M NOT A JOKE! I'm not..."

She sniffled.

"I'm not a joke..."

She rolled over onto her back and threw a hoof over her eyes.

"Stupid Sunset Shimmer. Why'd she hafta come along an' mess everything up?"

She heard a knock on the door. "Go'way, lemme'lone!" she called.

The door opened, and Sunset Shimmer trotted in. "Hey," she said.

Trixie picked up a pillow in her magic and hurled it at Sunset, striking her in the face. As the pillow fell to the floor, Sunset sighed. "Look, Trixie—"

"GO AWAY!" Trixie screeched. "I HATE YOU!"

Sunset bowed her head, folding back her ears. "Look, Trixie...I'm sorry." She trotted over to the bed and climbed up on the foot. "You know I didn't come here to make you look bad, right? I came here because Twilight asked me to."

Trixie glared sullenly at her.

Sunset looked away. "The truth is, I...I owe Twilight everything. I threw everything Princess Celestia ever tried to teach me away like it was nothing, all because I was too ambitious. I wanted power and glory that I wasn't ready for...that was never meant for me. I ignored the most important lessons she tried to teach me, I got angry with her. I was a bad student." She laughed. "And then I went to the other world, and all I craved was power. I wanted to control others. I became the worst kind of bully. And then I came back here and stole Twilight's crown and...and I used it to become a real monster.

"Twilight should hate me. I should be rotting in a dungeon somewhere. But instead, she showed me how important friendship is. She broke me down, stripped away my power and ambition and showed me all the pain and suffering I'd caused, and...and gave me a chance to make up for it." Sunset rubbed a hoof across the comforter. "I've changed. I'm a better person now. I have friends who mean the world to me. I've earned real respect—I'm still making up for all the bad things I've done, and I don't think I'll ever be completely free of my sins. But I'm trying." Sunset looked at Trixie. "So yeah...I owe Twilight. I owe her everything. And that's why I'm here." She paused, then smiled and said, "No. Not because I owe her. Because she's my friend."

Trixie looked away, a thoughtful frown on her face.

"Trixie...what you need to learn from Twilight isn't magic. It's friendship. True friendship. And true friendship starts with putting your ego aside and just..." Sunset sighed. "Okay, maybe right now isn't the best time for this."

"You think?" Trixie said acidly. "Just because I'm a little kid right now, that doesn't mean you get to lecture me like one."

Sunset sighed again and shook her head. "You're right. I'm sorry."

"Good. Now leave me alone. I'm not coming out of this room until Twilight changes me back."

"Really?" Sunset asked. "Because sitting alone in your room sulking for a whole week isn't going to teach you anything about magic or friendship."

"Everypony will laugh at me! Just like they always do! There goes Trixie, the big joke of Ponyville!"

"Or maybe," Sunset said, "you can swallow your pride, take it like a mare, stop feeling sorry for yourself, and spend the week outside, in the fresh air, having fun."

"Like a foal?"

Sunset shrugged. "It's better than sitting here pouting by yourself." She smiled. "It wouldn't kill you to try to make a friend or two. Live a little. You've got the time." She paused, then added, "You could even come to the Gala as my plus-one. What do you say?"

Trixie tilted her head. "I've never been to the Gala before...I've sort of always wanted to go. But I wanted to get there on my own merits..."

"Well, I'm taking you to the Gala," Sunset said. "So you need to go over to Rarity's place and get a dress."

Trixie paled. "Oh no. Not Rarity. Anything but Rarity..."

* * * * *

Rarity, now almost completely recovered from her ordeal, raised an eyebrow at the fillified Trixie. "Well now," she drawled. "And what do we have here, hmm?"

Trixie gave her a sullen glare. "Don't start," she squeaked.

"Oh?" Rarity raised her muzzle and looked sidelong at Trixie. "But it would seem as though the universe has dispensed its own brand of justice."

Trixie rolled her eyes. "You really know how to hold a grudge, don't you?"

"I believe, given the circumstances, I can be allowed to find a certain amount of humor in this situation," Rarity said. "And how exactly did you come to find yourself in this state?"

Trixie sighed. "I tried to cast an age spell on Sunset Shimmer to show her up and it backfired."

Rarity laughed. "So how long are you stuck like this?"

"Until after the Gala," Trixie said. "Twilight's too busy to fix me right now and I can't undo this on my own."

"Hmm. Well, a week as a filly certainly won't kill you. I certainly hope after this you'll learn to refrain from using your magic against other ponies. Or, as the case may be, yourself."

Trixie sighed resignedly. "Look, I didn't come here to be mocked and laughed at. I came here to get a dress for the Gala. Sunset Shimmer is making me attend as her plus-one."

Rarity smiled. "Very well, but on two conditions."

Trixie cringed. "Yes?"

"First: say 'please'."

Trixie rolled her eyes. "Rarity, will you please make me a dress for the Grand Galloping Gala?"

"I most certainly will. The second condition is you must spend the rest of the week with the other plus-ones..."

* * * * *

Trixie stared at the "other plus-ones".

*Oh Luna just strike me dead right now.*

A Great And Powerful Crusader! (Part Two)

"Girls, you remember Trixie, right?" Rarity said lightly.

Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle stared at the blue unicorn filly in front of them.

"Uhh...ain't Trixie a grown pony?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Yeah, this looks more like Trixie's kid sister," Scootaloo said.

Trixie sighed. "I really am the Great and Powerful Trixie. I kinda had a little accident..."

"Usually when I have a little accident, my mom puts rubber sheets on the bed," Scootaloo stage-whispered.

"NOT THAT KIND OF ACCIDENT!"

Sweetie Belle tilted her head. "What'd you do, try that age spell thing again?"

Trixie nodded. "I managed to cast it, it just...didn't hit who it was supposed to." She ducked her head and scuffed the floor with a hoof.

"Since Twilight Sparkle is too busy planning the Gala, Trixie's going to be spending the week like this, and will be attending the Gala as Sunset Shimmer's plus-one," Rarity said. "In the meantime, since everypony has so much work to do to prepare for the Gala, I'd very much like if the three of you would keep Trixie company."

"Ugh, we gotta babysit Trixie?" Scootaloo asked, making a face.

Rarity frowned. "No, you most certainly do not have to babysit her," she said. "But Trixie could use a few friends right now, and given her current...ahem...situation...I thought it best she make the most of it." She smiled. "It certainly couldn't hurt to pass the week playing with other fillies, now could it?"

Trixie rolled her eyes. "Alright, fine," she said. She looked at the Crusaders. "So, what exactly do you three do?"

Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo looked at each other. Identical evil grins split their faces.

"Girls?" Apple Bloom said. "Let's show Trixie why we're called the Cutie Mark Crusaders."

Trixie felt a sudden spike of dread down her spine...

* * * * *

With Twilight busy working on Gala preparations, Spike busy...being Spike, and Trixie over at Carousel Boutique, Sunset Shimmer found herself with a startling lack of anything to do. While Twilight's castle was certainly magnificent and worth exploring, she found herself wanting to spend more time in Ponyville. The clean air and rustic, simple style of the town was so different from anything she'd known in her life either as a Canterlot unicorn or as a human girl. Also, there were pony versions of many people she'd gotten to know and, recently, become friends with.

A bright, sunny smile accompanied a cheerful bounce in her gait as she ambled down the road from the castle into the town proper, the sounds of ponies chatting in the streets, doing business, and bustling to and fro filling her ears. With a borrowed set of saddlebags and a generous gift of bits from Twilight jangling at her flanks, Sunset looked around at the various shops in Ponyville, wondering if it was even possible to pick up some souvenirs for her friends back home.

Back home. That was a strange thought. After all, Equestria was home, and here she was, a short balloon ride from Canterlot. And yet...

She shook her head and picked up her pace, trotting past a store called "Sofas & Quills". Not terribly far away, a massive red stallion with a familiar shaggy dark blonde mane and sleepy-eyed face was haggling with a shopkeeper over a box of nails.

As she looked around, she spotted a stationery store with colorful postcards plastered in the windows. She trotted in that direction, but barely got halfway there when there was a bright white flash and the most bizarre creature she'd ever seen appeared directly in her path. Its serpentine brown body was covered in scales and hair; its vaguely equine head sported a deer antler and a goat horn, as well as one great fang and two yellow eyes with beady red pupils. It had a lion's paw, an eagle's claw, a deer leg, a reptilian leg, one feathery wing, and one leathery wing.

She had only ever seen such a creature in the sculpture garden at Canterlot. Yet she knew exactly what it was.

Her heart began to race as she took a step back.

The creature smiled at her. "Well, hello there!" he said in a rich, affable tone. "You're Sunset Shimmer, are you not? I've heard ever so much about you. I don't believe we've met." He bowed low, extending his lion paw. "I'm Discord."

"I know who you are," Sunset said shakily. "S-stay back..."

Discord leaned away, an almost hurt expression on his face. "You mean Twilight hasn't told you, her dear, dear friend from that wacky dimension of hairless apes? Oh, for shame." He cleared his throat. "I, Discord, Lord of Chaos, have been reformed. I am no longer the evil archfiend of legend that you no doubt heard many horror stories about while you were Celestia's star student. I am now nothing more than a humble resident of Equestria, prankster extraordinaire, and occasional agent for hire to the throne of Canterlot."

Sunset blinked. "...huh?"

Discord rolled his eyes. They came up seven. "I'm one of the good guys now," he clarified as he returned his eyes to their sockets. "Well, most of the time," he added with a dry chuckle. "Anyhoo!" he exclaimed suddenly, pulling a yellow-and-brown rabbit out of his ear, "I was just wondering if perhaps you'd been invited to the Grand Galloping Gala."

"Well...yeah, actually," Sunset said.

"Oh, goodie!" Discord said, clapping his mismatched hands. "Then since you're new in town and your only friend in this world already has her own ticket, I don't suppose you have a plus-one?"

"Umm...actually, I do," Sunset said, blinking in surprise. "I'm taking Trixie to the Gala."

"Ugh," Discord grunted, blowing a serpentine raspberry. "Seriously?"

"Well, I kinda..." Sunset trailed off as she realized Discord was no longer there. The little yellow rabbit stared up at her with huge eyes, twitched one ear, then hopped away. Sunset's ears folded back. "Ooookay that happened." Shaking her head, she continued on her way to the stationery store, resolving to ask Twilight or Spike about Discord later. Ordinarily, the sight of one of Equestria's greatest enemies roaming free would be cause for alarm—but under the circumstances, it was more a cause for confusion than anything.

* * * * *

Trixie had reluctantly followed the Crusaders to a grassy vacant lot on the east side of Ponyville. Once they arrived, Apple Bloom turned and faced the other fillies. "Alright, Crusaders, today we're gonna try gittin' our Cutie Marks in bull ridin'!"

"B-b-bull riding?!" Trixie squeaked. "Are you serious?"

"Serious as a deer tick," Apple Bloom said.

Scootaloo looked around. "Uhh, Apple Bloom? Where's...the bull?"

"Yyyyyyeah about that," Apple Bloom said, scuffing a hoof on the ground. "So Ah went over an' tried t' git Ferdinand t' help us, but fer some reason, soon as Ah said we needed his help with a crusade, he ran out th' back door screamin' like a little filly."

"So how are we going to get Cutie Marks in bull riding without a bull to ride?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Like this!" Apple Bloom raised a hoof to the sky and let out a sharp whistle. The other Crusaders and Trixie looked up. Derpy descended into the lot, smiling placidly; she was wearing a saddle and a headband with a pair of cheap plastic bull horns.

"Moo!" she proclaimed happily.

Sweetie Belle stared at Derpy, then at Apple Bloom. "Seriously?" she asked flatly, her eyes half-lidded.

"Trust me," Apple Bloom said with a used cart salesman grin. She turned to Trixie. "Why don't you go first?"

Trixie took a step back. "What?" She looked at Derpy, then back at Apple Bloom. "You expect Trixie to...to ride that pegasus?"

"Bull," Derpy said. "I'm a bull. Moo."

"Actually, you sound more like a cow," Sweetie Belle said.

"Oh." Derpy frowned, then coughed. "Moo," she said in a lower-pitched voice.

"Now you sound like a cow with the flu."

"Does it matter what she sounds like?" Scootaloo asked, throwing up her hooves. "All that matters is whether or not she can buck like a bull!"

"I can do that!" Derpy said, nodding happily.

"Then it's settled! Saddle up, Trixie! Time t' git our Cutie Marks in bull ridin'!"

"But...but Trixie already has her Cutie Mark!" Trixie protested.

"Pssh. Like that matters," Scootaloo said.

Trixie suddenly found herself wreathed in a pale green magical aura and lifted into the air. "Whaaaa—!" Before she could process what was happening, Sweetie Belle had deposited her on Derpy's saddle.

Apple Bloom walked up behind Derpy. "Alright, now...GO!" she exclaimed, slapping Derpy on the flank. With a confused noise that was stuck somewhere between a whinny and a moo, Derpy jumped straight into the air and started thrashing around madly. Trixie screamed as she dug her hooves into Derpy's flanks, wrapped her front hooves around the saddle horn, and held on for dear life.

Five terrifying seconds later, Trixie skidded face-first across the ground, piling up a small heap of grass and loose dirt in front of her muzzle.

"Are you okay?" Derpy asked as she gently landed nearby. "Moo?" she added.

Trixie glared daggers at her. "Trixie will get you for that," she said sourly.

Trixie watched as the three Crusaders each took turns bull-riding Derpy. It mollified her somewhat when Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle also ended up face-first in the dirt. Apple Bloom, on the other hoof, held on for a good fifteen seconds, whooping and laughing and grinning the harder Derpy bucked in mid-air. When Derpy finally managed to launch her, she tucked into a roll and laughed as she tumbled to a stop at the edge of the lot.

"Are we done here moo?" Derpy asked. "I need to go shopping moo."

"Yeah, we're done," Apple Bloom said. "You can stop mooin' now."

"Oh, okay," Derpy said. "That was fun!" With a wave, she flew off.

"Wow, Apple Bloom! That was amazing!" Sweetie Belle said.

"Did you get your Cutie Mark?" Scootaloo asked excitedly.

Apple Bloom turned and studied her flank. "No Cutie Mark," she said with a sigh.

"Me neither," Scootaloo pouted.

"Yeah, same here," Sweetie Belle lamented.

Trixie frowned. "So wait. You three expected to get your Cutie Marks by doing something stupid and foalish none of you have any experience doing, and only trying it once?"

Apple Bloom shrugged. "Honestly? Not really."

"Not after all the stuff we've tried," Scootaloo said.

"We've been doing this for a couple of years now," Sweetie Belle said. "We pretty much already know it'll never take."

Trixie's brow furrowed. "Then why...?"

The Crusaders grinned. "BECAUSE IT'S WHAT WE DO!" they shouted in unison. "CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS FOREVER! YAY!"

Trixie's ears pinned back and her eyelids drooped. "That explains so much..."

"C'mon, Crusaders!" Scootaloo said. "On to the next thing on the list!" With a raucous cheer, the three fillies rounded Trixie up and herded her along with them.

"H-hey! Trixie does not want to crusade for Cutie Marks! Waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!"

* * * * *

Trixie stared at the giant slingshot the Crusaders had rigged up between two thin, bendy trees. "What manner of stupidity is this?" she demanded.

"We're gonna get our DAREDEVIL Cutie Marks!" Scootaloo crowed enthusiastically, adjusting the chin strap on her helmet. Sweetie Belle, wearing a similar helmet, was putting on several pieces of padded safety equipment. Apple Bloom was zipping up a gaudy red, white, and blue jumpsuit.

Across a broad clearing, haystacks had been piled up, along with old mattresses, all arranged around a vertical padded target with a bullseye painted on it.

Trixie plopped her rump on the ground and folded her hooves. "No."

"No, you don't wanna earn your daredevil Cutie Mark?" Apple Bloom asked as she put on her helmet.

"No to all of this foolishness! And Trixie already HAS her Cutie Mark!"

"Then just do it for fun!" Scootaloo said.

"Fun?" Trixie asked in disbelief. "You think being shot out of a giant slingshot is fun? You think launching your friends through the air to their certain deaths is fun?!"

"YEAH!" the Crusaders cheered, giggling.

Trixie stared at them in disbelief. "You truly are insane," she said.

"And you're first up!" Apple Bloom said cheerfully, plunking a helmet on Trixie's head. Sweetie Belle's aura wrapped itself around Trixie, lifting her into the slingshot.

"GAH! What are you doAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Trixie flailed desperately as Apple Bloom and Scootaloo pulled back the slingshot. She screamed in sheer terror as the slingshot was released. Her scream rose in pitch and urgency as she hurtled through the air like a small blue missile. Trixie closed her eyes and covered them with her hooves as she smacked into the top of the target, flipped over it, and sailed through the air at a low angle curve, spinning out of control as she landed hard on the ground beyond the pile of hay and bedding. She rolled several times before coming to a stop, moaning in pain.

The Crusaders stared at her. "Uhh...Ah think we need t' work on our aim," Apple Bloom said. Sharing a concerned look, the three fillies trotted over to Trixie.

"Are...are you okay?" Sweetie Belle asked. Trixie groaned and shifted onto her belly, then slowly pushed herself to her hooves.

"We're so sorry!" Scootaloo cried. "It wasn't supposed to—"

Trixie turned, her horn lighting up and picking dirt and leaves out of her mane. Fury filled her eyes as she faced the Crusaders and lowered her head. She pawed the ground with a hoof.

"Uhh, Trixie?"

With a scream of hellish fury, Trixie charged. The Crusaders shrieked and ran for their lives.

* * * * *

Four exhausted fillies lay sprawled out in the grass, barrels heaving. Each filly's mane and tail were mussed, matted, and throughly chewed, and they sported various cuts, scrapes, and bruises.

"Look..." Apple Bloom puffed as she rolled onto her stomach, "we're sorry, okay? It was an accident."

"YOU are an accident," Trixie huffed, turning her nose up.

"Well, yeah, but what's that got t' do with anything?" Apple Bloom shook her head. "How 'bout we let you pick whut we're gonna do next?"

"Yeah, that's a great idea!" Sweetie Belle said.

Trixie raised an eyebrow. "How about trying to get your Cutie Marks in feeding yourselves to a bear?"

The Crusaders flinched, ears folding down. "C'mon, Trixie," Apple Bloom said in a hurt tone. "Don't be like that!"

"Yeah! We've gotta put up with you, the least you can do is be nice," Scootaloo grumped.

"Trixie wants nothing more to do with you children," Trixie sniffed, gingerly rising to her hooves.

"We'll tell Rarity you chickened out," Scootaloo said.

Trixie turned and glared at her. "Trixie will tell Rarity you launched her out of a slingshot."

Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow. "You do that, Rarity'll probably buy us all ice cream."

Trixie blinked. "I..." Her mouth worked soundlessly for a long moment. Eventually, she sighed. "Very well. Give me a minute to come up with something."

* * * * *

"Ah don't know if this is such a good idea," Apple Bloom said nervously.

"As I recall, you told Trixie to choose our next crusade," Trixie said. "Trixie has chosen. Do you, or do you not, wish to crusade for your Cutie Marks?"

"Well...yeah..." Apple Bloom rubbed one fetlock with a hoof. "It's just—"

"Trust Trixie. This is an excellent idea. None of you will get in trouble. Nopony will get hurt. It is merely a game." Trixie smirked. "Now, shall we?"

"Umm...won't Spike get mad?" Sweetie Belle asked. "I mean..." She shuddered. "I still haven't forgotten what happened the last time Spike got mad at us..."

"He wasn't in control of himself," Trixie said dismissively. "He might be...mildly vexed, yes, but he wouldn't harm you girls. And Trixie wouldn't let him in any case."

"Well...if you're sure..." Scootaloo said, staring up at the gleaming spires of Twilight's castle.

"Trixie is absolutely sure," Trixie said confidently. She planted her hooves firmly. "Now, let Trixie hear some enthusiasm!"

The Crusaders exchanged a look, sighed, and said, "Cutie Mark Crusaders Castle Stormers, yay."

Trixie's eye twitched. "It will have to do." With that, she galloped toward the massive doors to the castle, the Crusaders following reluctantly.

* * * * *

Spike tossed an emerald into his mouth and crunched down as he turned a page in his comic book. With Twilight dealing with the Gala, Sunset out spending the day in town, and Trixie—wherever she was—he had the castle to himself, and was loving it.

Of course, there were a billion chores to do, but why waste precious alone time cleaning the castle when there were so many comics to read and so many delicious gems to eat?

He was so absorbed in his reading and crunching he didn't hear the faint whispering or the silent sneaking of little hooves until it was too late.

"CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!"

Spike's head snapped up. "Wait, what? —OOF!"

His world spun as a small blue body slammed into him, sending him sliding across the cold crystal floor. "OW! What—"

Spike looked up, and his eyes shrank in dread. The Cutie Mark Crusaders loomed over him, each brandishing an overstuffed, fluffy pillow. "H-hey, what are you do—"

With a chorus of giggles, the fillies unleashed soft, feathery doom on one confused, helpless baby dragon.

Five minutes later, Spike lay in a twitching heap, occasionally burping up a goose feather. "Alright, we vanquished the dragon," Trixie proclaimed dramatically. "Now, let's loot the castle!"

Sweetie Belle's eyes widened in alarm. "Umm...we're not gonna steal from Princess Twilight, are we?"

Trixie rolled her eyes. "Of course not," she said. "We're just going to raid the fridge."

"Oh." Sweetie Belle's eyes lit up. "Okay!" With that, the four fillies charged off toward the kitchen.

Spike watched them go, blinking. "Well...that just happened." Shaking his head and sighing, he picked himself up, brushed feathers off his scales, and went back to his comic.

Two minutes later, he blinked. "HEY! Whaddya mean 'vanquished'?" He sprang to his feet and gave chase. "TRIXIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!"

He found the four fillies sitting around the kitchen table, huge bowls of strawberry cheesecake ice cream in front of them. The empty carton sat on the table, a sticky scoop poking out of the top. "H-HEY! We were SAVING THAT!"

"Spoils of victory," Trixie said with a smirk as she shoveled a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. "Besides, how hard can it be for a princess of Equestria to get another carton of ice cream?"

"But...but..."

"Hey, aren't you vanquished?" Scootaloo asked, tilting her head. "I'm pretty sure we vanquished you."

"Ah distinctly recall vanquishin' 'im," Apple Bloom agreed. "Sweetie Belle?"

"Oh! Definitely. Spike, you're vanquished." She nodded rapidly, then spooned ice cream into her mouth.

"I am NOT—!" Spike belched out a feather. "—vanquished!" He hopped onto the table, faced Trixie with narrowed eyes, and took a deep breath, his chest expanding. His eyes fell upon her bowl, and he gave Trixie a vicious grin.

Trixie paled. "You wouldn't."

Spike's grin widened.

Trixie's ears wilted. A second bowl and another spoon floated over from the cupboard, and she quickly divided her ice cream into two equal portions.

Spike sat down and grabbed the ice cream. "That's what I thought," he said as he shoved a spoonful into his mouth.

"Hey, Spike, why are all the pillows—"

The four fillies and baby dragon turned as one to see Sunset Shimmer standing in the kitchen door, blinking. Nopony moved.

Sunset raised a hoof. "Umm...?"

Spike pointed his spoon at the Crusaders. "They vanquished me," he said. "They stormed the castle and vanquished me, then looted all the ice cream."

Sunset raised an eyebrow. "Uh-huh," she said. She turned to Trixie. "Trixie?"

"The Great and Powerful TRIXIE and her entourage, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, claim this ice cream as the spoils of victory!" she declared.

Sunset shook her head. "Okay," she said. "Just be sure to clean up the mess. And I mean the dishes and those pillows." With that, she trotted away. Once she was out of sight of the fillies, she smiled.

*I knew she just needed some friends.*

Author's Note

Next time, Sunset Shimmer, Trixie, and Spike attend a memorable Gala in the third and final part of "A Great and Powerful Crusader!"

A Great and Powerful Crusader! (Part Three)

The week had gone by in a blur for Trixie, who found herself spending more and more time with the Crusaders and less time at the castle. Before she knew it, the night of the Grand Galloping Gala had finally arrived.

A sizeable party filled a private carriage on the Friendship Express, presently puffing its way up the mountain to Canterlot. In one corner, the Cutie Mark Crusaders were playing cards to pass the time; Spike and Trixie had joined in on their game. Initially, Spike hadn't wanted to attend the Gala, but Sunset and Twilight had cajoled him into going as Twilight's plus-one. He'd only caved in and agreed when Twilight pointed out that it meant Rarity would have to make a new tuxedo for him.

As for the others...

Twilight wore a simple, elegant light blue dress with darker blue floral accents around the train and collar, as well as a large orange ribbon around her barrel, tied in a huge bow atop her back; her mane was gathered in a loose bun in the back. Sunset Shimmer wore a dazzling layered dress in red, orange, and gold, with her mane styled in tight, springy curls and topped with a sunflower pin that matched the brooch at the front of her dress. Fluttershy wore a dress that was a deep blue-green in the front, with a pale green skirt with yellow trim and a peacock feather motif. An ornamental feathery pin held half of her mane to one side, while the other half had been wound into a spiral bun on one side. Her friend Tree Hugger wore a simple light lavender dress with a wreath of daisies around her head. Pinkie Pie wore a loud, layered yellow dress with orange polka dots, a purple ruffle, and a purple-and-white striped bow and round ornaments shaped like purple starlight mints in her mane. Her sister Maud wore a simple speckled dark blue-green dress. Rainbow Dash's minimalist dress largely consisted of a dark blue, star-spangled skirt and scalloped orange front, with pale gold silk straps holding the dress together. Rarity wore a tasteful purple affair with blue trim and jewel accents; her mane was done up in high, curled ringlets, held with a bejeweled hairpin. Applejack wore a floral-print light green dress with red rose accents, along with a matching hat with a shiny red apple on the hatband. Apple Bloom's simple pink and white dress had a flower clasp in the front, with a matching pin in her mane. Sweetie Belle's dress was pale aqua with a seafoam ribbon and clasp, and a blue tulip pin in her mane. Scootaloo's dress and sash were two shades of light lavender and purple, with a dragonfly clasp in her mane. Trixie wore a two-layered dress; the lower layer was a light purple, matching the cape she normally wore, while the top layer was a diaphanous sky blue. A light purple hat, flat with a pale blue band that had a blue-and-gold star-shaped pin on the band, sat atop her head.

"Ah sure hope this don't turn out like th' last Gala we all went to," Applejack muttered.

"You said it," Rainbow agreed, grimacing as she toyed with the fit of her dress around her wing joints.

Rarity seized Rainbow's dress in her magic and began straightening it. "So long as I don't encounter that lout again, I'll be content."

Sunset tilted her head. "What was so bad about the Gala?"

"WHAT WASN'T?" the six Harmony Bearers chorused before breaking into giggles.

Twilight shook her head. "A few years ago, Celestia invited us all to the Gala. We sort of had...certain expectations...that the evening didn't exactly live up to."

"It was a total disaster!" Pinkie said cheerfully. "We totally trashed the ballroom!"

"Hey now, that was mostly Rainbow an' Fluttershy," Applejack said.

"No, we were all to blame," Rarity said. "Although there were mitigating circumstances."

Fluttershy ducked her head. "I, umm...I lost my temper. I'm still pretty embarrassed about that."

"Let's face it, that whole Gala sucked," Rainbow said. "And we're all to blame."

"Yeah, we went in plot-first an' didn't turn around an' open our eyes till it was too late," Applejack agreed.

"But this time, we know better," Twilight said with a smile.

"Yeah!" Pinkie agreed. "We've got our plus-ones, we know the Gala is super boring so we're actually ready for it, and we know better than to go all RAAAAH! and trash the place again!"

"I certainly hope so," Rarity said. "Not to put too fine a point on it, but our little group doesn't exactly have the best track record with high-society events in Canterlot."

"Hey!" Rainbow protested. "It was just that one time!"

"I count three," Rarity said. She paused, then amended, "Well...two actually. We can hardly be blamed for the Changeling invasion during Princess Cadance's wedding."

Twilight tilted her head. "Two? What was the other one?"

Rarity arched an eyebrow. "The garden party? The one your birthday party spilled over into?"

"Okay whoa," Rainbow objected. "That was on you for party-hopping on us."

"She has a point, though," Fluttershy said. "I mean, we did crash the garden party and, umm...turn it into a Ponyville party."

"We did 'em a favor!" Rainbow said, throwing up her hooves.

"Actually, I think I have to agree with Rarity and Fluttershy on this one," Pinkie said, her ears drooping a little. "If there's one thing I've learned about parties in Canterlot, it's that they aren't really meant to be fun." She blinked. "I can't believe I just said that."

"You're right though," Sunset put in. "When I was Princess Celestia's student, I had to suffer through a lot of those so-called 'parties'." She rolled her eyes. "The Canterlot elite don't care about fun. They care about being seen in the right places by the right ponies." She smiled. "I'd rather go to a Pinkie Pie party or a plain old school dance any day."

"Wait, so...you mean this isn't gonna be any fun?" Apple Bloom piped up. The mares turned to see the Crusaders standing nearby, looking crestfallen.

"Now, girls," Rarity said, "it most certainly will be fun, because we'll all be there together."

"Yeah," Applejack agreed, licking her hoof and smoothing down Apple Bloom's mane in the front. "We'll make our own fun!"

As the train chugged on and the fillies and their sisters talked, Sunset turned to Fluttershy. "So exactly what made you lose your temper at the Gala?"

Fluttershy ducked her head. "Well..."

* * * * *

Upon arriving at the station in Canterlot, the party was met by a trio of extravagant carriages, each staffed by two members of the Royal Guard. The stallions assisted the mares, fillies, and dragon into the carriages, then hitched themselves up and began cantering off toward the castle.

Twilight sat across from Sunset and Trixie, reclining in the plush velvet seat with a happy sigh. "Okay, as much as I don't like to make a big deal about me being a princess? This kind of thing can be pretty...nice."

Sunset chuckled. "The perks of royalty, huh?" She smiled. "You should just let yourself enjoy everything ponies want to do for you. It's what I'd do if—" She grimaced. "Well, if I'd listened to Princess Celestia and..." She sighed.

Twilight reached across and patted her hoof. "I think you found your place in life without getting wings," she said. "This—" she gestured at her own wings, "—may have been my destiny, but something tells me yours was always to find the life you have now."

"Maybe so," Sunset said. She shrugged. "Anyway, you really should just own your status. Stop resisting all the cool stuff that comes with being a princess!"

Twilight pursed her lips. "It really isn't me," she said. "I like to keep my life simple. Well, as simple as it gets when my friends and I are constantly battling monsters, immortals, bullies, jerks, and things like that. As long as I have a good book and a hot mug of tea and somewhere to curl up and read, that's all I really need out of life. Well, that and my friends." She smiled. "All this fancy princess stuff isn't for me."

The carriage stopped, and the doors opened. The party stepped out into a sea of excited, screaming ponies. Dozens of camera flashes went off. Questions were shouted at Twilight by society reporters. Roses flew through the air, landing at her hooves.

"Yes," Trixie said dryly, "clearly you are in your own personal Tartarus."

Twilight rolled her eyes and led the way down the carpet, Spike to her right, Sunset to her left, with Trixie just behind her. The rest of their friends followed in their wake, their plus-ones lined up at their flanks.

As the grand doors opened, a herald blew a fanfare on a trumpet. "Announcing Her Highness, Princess Twilight Sparkle of Ponyville, and entourage!"

Princess Celestia glided gracefully down from the dais at the end of the ballroom as they entered, landing before Twilight. "Good evening, Twilight! Your dress is quite lovely!"

Twilight curtsied. "Your Majesty," she said. "You look as radiant as always."

Celestia smiled, then looked everypony else over. "You all look lovely this evening," she said. "I hope you will all enjoy the Gala. Come, Twilight. There are several important ponies we must greet."

"Of course," Twilight said. She looked at her friends, sighed, and smiled. "Go ahead and enjoy yourselves. Hopefully I'll find a way out of this part of the Gala quickly."

"Well, I'm hittin' the buffet," Rainbow said. "You comin', Squirt?"

"You bet!" Scootaloo said, following Rainbow across the room.

"We should mingle," Rarity said to Sweetie Belle. "I'll introduce you to Fancy Pants...if I can find him in this crowd."

"Let's find a good spot for pony-watching, Maud!" Pinkie said. Maud followed silently behind her as she made her way through the crowd.

Applejack and Apple Bloom wandered off into the assorted guests as well, with Fluttershy and Tree Hugger not too far behind. Sunset looked at Trixie and Spike. "Well, what do you want to do?" she asked. "Hang close to the Princesses?"

"Perhaps the three of you might keep me company," a voice intruded. They turned to see Princess Luna approaching gracefully, wearing a deep black gown with dark blue accents and silvery spangles. "A perk of being the long-exiled sister of the ruler of Equestria and nominal protector of the night is that I am not shackled to the same duties as my sister during functions such as this."

"They're still afraid of you, huh?" Spike said bluntly.

Luna gave him a half-lidded, irritated stare, but sighed and nodded. "Somewhat. Though to be fair, I do not put as much effort into easing the fears of these nobles as I do when it comes to the common ponies and children of Equestria."

"I don't blame you," Sunset said with a smirk. "If the Canterlot elite are anything like they were before I, umm..." She coughed and brushed one hoof with the other. "Well, they could probably use a little scare from time to time."

"Indeed." Luna looked around. "In truth, I would prefer to be anywhere else but here. Such parties often tend to be unbearably dull."

Twilight appeared in front of them in a flash. "Good evening, Princess Luna," she said. "Sunset, Princess Celestia wants you to spend the evening close to her, if that's alright."

Sunset blinked. "Really? She—" Her mouth worked soundlessly for a long moment. "Of...of course! I'd be...yes!"

Luna smiled. "Then I will keep Spike and the young filly here company," she said. As Twilight and Sunset trotted away, she glanced at Trixie. "Have we met? You seem familiar, but I cannot place a name to your face."

"This is Trixie," Spike said. "You know, as in the Great and Powerful Trixie?"

Luna's muzzle crinkled. "Surely not the same Trixie presently studying under Twilight Sparkle?"

Trixie ducked her head. "Yes," she said.

Luna tilted her head. "I had thought you would be...older."

"She usually is," Spike said cheerfully. "She bombed an age spell and got herself stuck like this."

Luna raised an eyebrow. "I see," she said. "And just what were you doing attempting such dangerous magic, if I might ask?"

Trixie wouldn't meet her eyes. "I..."

"She got jealous of Sunset Shimmer and tried to turn her into a foal to show her up," Spike said with a smirk. Trixie shot him a cross glare and kicked him.

Luna gave Trixie a half-lidded stare and a thin-lipped frown.

Trixie hung her head low, her ears folding back. "Trixie has...issues," she said meekly.

Luna shook her head. "I am the last pony who should be lecturing you after what my own bitterness and jealousy led to," she said. "Still, perhaps you should reflect on your life choices and strive to be a better pony."

"Yes, Your Highness," Trixie said.

"Good." Luna looked around. "Now, let us see if we can find some entertainment in this dull—"

"Announcing the Spirit of Chaos, Discord, and his guest, the Smooze!"

Luna raised an eyebrow and glanced over at the entrance to the ballroom. "I believe that will do nicely," she said.

"Oh brother," Spike said, staring at the green blob that followed Discord into the room. "Twilight's gonna go ballistic."

* * * * *

"I must say, it's been very nice having you take over some of the planning responsibilities for this year's Gala," Celestia said. "I know you've had quite a bit on your plate lately, between your new student and Starlight Glimmer."

"It was my pleasure, believe me," Twilight said. "I'm always happy to help—"

The herald blew his trumpet again. "Announcing the Spirit of Chaos, Discord, and his guest, the—" he paused. "—the Smooze!"

Twilight, Sunset, and Celestia stared at the green blob that slurched into the ballroom at Discord's side. "What the—" Sunset said.

Twilight frowned. "I'll take care of this."

As she stormed off muttering to herself, Celestia turned to Sunset. "I suppose you're a bit confused as to the sudden appearance of Discord."

Sunset's brow furrowed. "Actually, I ran into him in Ponyville the other day," she said. "I meant to ask Twilight about that, but I got distracted and forgot all about it. So...what's going on with that?"

Celestia chuckled as she watched Twilight threaten Discord. "I decided to have Twilight Sparkle and her friends try to reform Discord. They succeeded. Well, mostly Fluttershy, as I understand it. While he...had a bit of a relapse recently," Celestia grimaced, "for the most part, Discord is reformed, and using his powers for the good of Equestria."

Sunset's jaw dropped. "Wow. I've missed a lot."

"Yes," Celestia said with a smile. "Yes you have."

* * * * *

Luna, Trixie, and Spike crept through the crowd, shadowing Discord. "What do you suppose he's up to?" Spike whispered.

"Personally, I'm more worried about that thing he brought with him," Trixie whispered. "In case you didn't notice, it's eating anything shiny it sees."

"Believe me, I noticed," Spike answered.

"He seems to have a specific purpose in mind," Luna muttered with a thoughtful frown. While Discord's path through the Gala was meandering and, well, chaotic, his eyes never left one specific point.

Trixie followed Luna's gaze, then caught on. She followed Discord's gaze. "Fluttershy," she said thoughtfully. "He's headed toward Fluttershy."

Spike looked over to Fluttershy and her new friend. He shrugged. "Makes sense. Fluttershy's his best pony friend."

"Let's get closer," Luna suggested.

They snuck closer to Fluttershy's table, following a different path than the one Discord and the Smooze had taken. They managed to find a decent spot a good ten feet away, out of sight, just as Discord horned in on the two mares' conversation.

Luna raised an eyebrow. "Oh my. I do believe Discord is...jealous."

"Of what?" Trixie wondered. "Fluttershy is simply having a good time with a friend. It's not as though..." She trailed off as she caught the look Spike was giving her. "What?"

Spike shook his head, then looked back at Discord, Fluttershy, and Tree Hugger. He tilted his head as he listened in on their conversation. "Wow. That's getting awkward."

Suddenly, Discord let out an indignant shout, then followed the Smooze off into the party. "Treezie? Really?" he called to Fluttershy. "Sort of a juvenile nickname, don't you think? —Smoozie, wait up!"

Spike watched Discord with a half-lidded stare. "So, bets on just how ugly Discord's meltdown's gonna be?"

Trixie shuddered. "This is Discord. I'd rather not think about what he might do."

Luna frowned thoughtfully. "Perhaps I should have a brief word with my sister. Excuse me." She glided silently away into the crowd, leaving Spike and Trixie alone in the middle of the Gala.

Spike shuffled his feet awkwardly. "Well...now what?"

"Trixie is going to the buffet table," Trixie announced, trotting briskly away.

"H-hey, wait up!"

* * * * *

Once Twilight had returned from dealing with Discord, she'd spent another half hour greeting guests with Celestia and Sunset. After a while, Celestia had encouraged Sunset to mingle; apparently, Sunset was even more bored than Twilight, because she eagerly seized the opportunity, making a beeline for Applejack and Apple Bloom on the dance floor.

"By the way, Twilight, there's somepony I want you to meet," Celestia whispered as she waited for the next guest in the queue to approach. Once she and Twilight had greeted two more guests, she signaled for a herald to take over welcoming duties, then led Twilight through the ballroom. They approached a powder-blue unicorn mare whose ice-colored mane was tied in massive twin ponytails. She wore a simple, severe dark purple and black dress; a pair of small, angular salmon-framed glasses was perched on her muzzle. She gave them a level, measuring stare as they approached.

"Sugarcoat, I'm so glad you made it tonight!" Celestia smiled at the mare.

Sugarcoat nodded briefly. "Your Majesty." She looked around the room. "The Gala's as boring as usual. Are you planning to troll the snobby nobles again?" She glanced at Twilight, then added, "I see you brought Princess Crazy-Pants along."

Twilight blinked. "Ex...cuse me?"

Sugarcoat snorted. "Everypony in Canterlot knows you're neurotic and obsessive-compulsive. Probably everypony in Ponyville too. It's just that now that you're a princess, nopony's going to call you out on it." She paused. "I hope you do something really neurotic tonight. It'll make this Gala more interesting."

Twilight's left eye twitched. "Neurotic?!"

Celestia chuckled. "Now, Sugarcoat," she said, "I'd appreciate if you'd save your candor for the ponies that truly deserve it. Especially since you're going to be working for Princess Twilight from now on."

Twilight's head snapped around, her wings flaring. "What?!"

Sugarcoat stared at Celestia with flat disbelief. "What."

Celestia smiled. "Twilight, Sugarcoat is the pony I've chosen as the chief of staff for your palace."

Twilight's jaw dropped. "You've gotta be kidding!" She looked from Celestia to Sugarcoat and back. "The first thing she did was insult me and call me crazy!"

"Exactly," Celestia said. "She's the perfect pony to keep you on your toes. Sugarcoat, well...she tends to be extremely forthright and observant. In a way, she's like your friend Applejack. Every word out of her mouth is honest and true. It's just..." She paused, tilting her head. "Unfiltered."

"You have broccoli in your teeth," Sugarcoat said.

"See?" Celestia paused, then conjured up a toothpick and tried to discreetly dislodge the broccoli.

"I don't think I want to live in Ponyville," Sugarcoat said. "It's an entire town of crazy ponies."

"That's true," Celestia said, "but I'm tired of listening to the Canterlot nobles complain about you."

Sugarcoat frowned so hard her massive forehead folded into deep grooves. "That was harsh."

Twilight snorted. "If that isn't the pot calling the kettle black."

* * * * *

Sunset found Applejack, Apple Bloom, Trixie, and Spike in a group on the dance floor. They were all watching Fluttershy, Tree Hugger, and Discord. "Hey guys. What's going on?"

"Trouble," Spike said. "Discord ditched that blob he came with and now he's trying to horn in on Fluttershy's evening."

"I never thought I'd say this," Rainbow said, "but I actually miss when Discord was an evil jerk, because this? This is just sad."

A shrill scream pierced the general noise of the Gala, and a door burst open. Rarity entered, covered in slime. "That creature took my jewels!" she cried.

The group craned their necks to look past the open door and saw the Smooze roaming around, gleefully sucking up anything shiny the party guests were wearing. They looked at one another, brows furrowed. "Uhh...shouldn't y'all be doin' somethin' about that?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Yeah, that seems like the kind of thing the Elements of Harmony usually deal with," Scootaloo agreed.

"Ah think we should let Twilight handle this," Applejack said. "Y'know, on account of her bein' a Princess an' all."

The Smooze slurched over two ponies, leaving them covered in ooze.

"Yeah, definitely an alicorn problem," Rainbow agreed, rapidly nodding her head.

Sunset rolled her eyes. "Oh, for..." She trotted off in the direction of the Smooze. Spike followed in her wake; Trixie, not wanting to be shown up, trotted after them. Out of the corner of her eye, Trixie saw Discord appear behind Rarity with a vacuum cleaner and suck not only the slime off her body, but also her entire dress. Rarity shuffled off, a mortified look on her face.

Trixie smirked.

"It's alright, everypony!" Twilight called out. "Let's just get back to enjoying this magical evening!"

Sunset, Spike, and Trixie watched as Discord led the Smooze off toward a side door, complaining at it the entire way. "Wow. Some 'friend', huh?" Spike muttered.

Sunset's brow furrowed. "Wait a minute," she said. "That's..." Her eyes widened as Discord shoved the Smooze through the door and locked it. "Oh horseapples!" In a teal flash, she vanished.

"Wonder where she's going?" Spike said, tilting his head.

Twilight trotted over. "Are you two having a good time?" she asked.

"Twilight, what's going on with Discord?" Spike asked.

Twilight grimaced. "I don't know, but he's seriously making a mess of—"

"THIEF!" a guard yelled. Everypony snapped their heads around. Sunset Shimmer was standing in the middle of the hall, a canvas tarp dripping with gold and gems hovering in her magic. She looked around, eyes wide and wild.

"No!" she cried. "It's not what it looks like!"

"What the—?!" Twilight ran over to Sunset, even as Celestia slowly approached. Trixie raised an eyebrow and followed, Spike hot on her hooves.

"Sunset Shimmer?" Celestia asked softly. "Why have you emptied out the contents of the Royal—"

"Discord locked the Smooze in there!" Sunset shouted over her. "If I hadn't noticed where he was headed, that thing would've eaten all of the most priceless treasures in Canterlot!"

Dozens of heads turned slowly to face Discord. He tapped his talons and claws together, his eyes darting left and right. "Oopsie?" he offered, chuckling sheepishly.

"Discord," Twilight said in a warning tone, "I told you to keep an eye on that thing, not shove it in a closet full of priceless treasures!"

"Well how was I supposed to know that was where Celestia keeps all her shiny junk?" Discord whined.

The collection of treasures Sunset held wreathed itself in a soft blue aura. "I'll take care of these," Luna said. "They will be safe in my tower until after the Gala."

"Thank you, Your Highness," Sunset said gratefully, dispelling her own magic.

"Well," Celestia said brightly as Luna flew away. "No harm done." She raised her voice. "It's alright, everypony! There's nothing to see here. As you were!"

Sunset sighed heavily. "Whew."

"That was pretty quick thinking," Twilight said. She ducked her head. "Sorry I..." She coughed. "For a second there, I thought—"

Sunset rolled her eyes. "It's okay. I'm used to it."

"No, it's not okay," Twilight said. She shook her head. "Come on, let's...let's get some punch, then maybe dance. I could use a little rest."

"What about Discord?" Spike asked.

Trixie looked around. "Where is Discord?"

Twilight's head darted to and fro, her eyes wide. Her ears fell back. "Oh camel crap," she said.

"It's okay, Twilight," Sunset said. "If Princess Celestia trusts him, I'm sure—"

The lights died.

"—she's completely out of her mind."

A stage appeared out of thin air, and Discord walked out onto it. The Gala attendees watched in horrified, awkward confusion as Discord attempted an impromptu stand-up comedy routine.

Sunset Shimmer facehoofed. "This just...this just hurts to watch," she said. "Seriously, this is the being that ruled Equestria in a state of absolute chaos thousands of years ago?"

"It's a bit underwhelming," Trixie agreed. Chunks of watermelon splattered on her dress. She narrowed her eyes. "Oh, he did not just ruin Trixie's dress!" She stormed up onto the stage and seized Discord by the suspenders he was wearing. "LOOK HERE, YOU! This happens to be an elegant, classy social affair, and you and your shenanigans are ruining it! Trixie gets that you're jealous of your friend spending time with somepony else! Trixie gets that you want all the attention for yourself and you're not getting your way!" She paused, then ducked her head. "Trixie gets that being jealous can make you do things that you regret later..." She looked back up. "But this! You're ruining everyone's night! Take that horrid blob you brought with you and go home!"

The entire room fell deathly silent.

Discord gave her a half-lidded stare. "Are you through?"

"Yes. Yes, Trixie is through." Trixie released Discord's suspenders.

"Good." Discord snapped his talons. The locked door to the treasury burst open. The Smooze slorched out into the room, frightening the ponies around him.

Discord snapped his talons again. A giant golden statue of Twilight Sparkle with an absolutely ridiculous expression on her face appeared in front of the Smooze.

"Wait!" Twilight cried. "Don't—"

And then everything was covered in slime.

* * * * *

"Well, that happened," Sunset said sourly. The Gala had ended ten minutes ago. Sunset stood alongside Twilight, Trixie, Spike, and Sugarcoat, to whom she had been introduced after Fluttershy and Discord had their little lovers' spat and Tree Hugger had been spared the fate of being fed to a Mexican sock puppet. The rest of the evening had been relatively calm, if a bit strained.

"I'm so sorry everything turned out so awful tonight," Twilight said. "If I'd known this was going to happen..."

"It's not your fault, Twilight," Spike said. "It's Celestia's. She's the one who invited Discord, remember? Just like when she invited us all to that one Gala hoping you'd do exactly what you all did."

"He's right," Sugarcoat said. "Princess Celestia's always looking for some way to wreck the Grand Galloping Gala. It's a tradition around here."

Sunset shook her head. "I can't believe I ever wanted to be like her," she said with an amused smirk.

"Still," Twilight said, "tonight could've ended in disaster if Fluttershy hadn't been able to rein in Discord."

"You really should've turned him back to stone," Sugarcoat said.

Twilight sighed. "There are days I wish we had," she said. "Then again, if we had, Tirek would have stolen all the magic in Equestria and we'd probably all be dead now."

"Oh," Sugarcoat said. She paused for a moment. "I have no response to that."

"Well," Trixie said, "now that the Gala is over, Trixie looks forward to being restored to her normal age." She frowned, shuffling her hooves. "Trixie also owes you an apology, Sunset Shimmer. Trixie let her jealousy get the better of her. After what happened tonight, Trixie finally understands that just because Twilight Sparkle seems to prefer your company to Trixie's, it doesn't mean..." She looked up at Twilight. "It doesn't mean she isn't still my friend."

Twilight smiled. "Well said, Trixie."

"I told you I didn't come here to show you up," Sunset said. "I'm just glad you finally understand. I hope...I hope maybe we can be friends too."

Trixie turned her nose up with a smirk. "If you're lucky."

Twilight laughed. "Okay, I guess since Trixie learned her lesson and everything worked out alright..." Her horn lit up.

In a bright magenta flash, the filly Trixie was replaced with the full-grown Great and Powerful Trixie. Even her dress grew to fit her proper form.

Trixie blinked several times as she conjured a mirror and examined herself from several angles. "Trixie is restored? As easily as that?"

"Yep!" Twilight said.

Trixie frowned. "But...but you said you didn't know a counterspell," she said.

Twilight gave her a small smile, rolling her eyes toward the ceiling.

Trixie narrowed her eyes. "You lied," she accused.

"I conveniently forgot I knew the right spell to undo this," Twilight amended. "I remembered the spell right around the time you learned your lesson."

Spike and Sunset snickered. Trixie snorted, pawing the floor with a hoof. "Twilight Sparkle, so help me, I'll—"

"Think twice before you do something that stupid again?" Twilight interrupted.

Trixie paused, then deflated. "Fair enough."

Sugarcoat raised an eyebrow. "Maybe working for the Princess of Neuroses will be more interesting than I thought."

"Anyway, we'd better get moving," Twilight said with a sigh. "The last train to Ponyville's about to leave and I want to curl up in my bed and sleep until noon."

"I hear you," Sunset said, cracking a huge yawn. "Let's go."

Once the entire group was aboard the train to Ponyville, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo walked up to Trixie, who was slumped on a bench by herself, half asleep. "Hey, Trixie?" Sweetie Belle asked.

Trixie cracked an eye open and looked at the three of them. "Yes?"

"We're glad you got turned back to normal an' all," Apple Bloom said, "but jes' so you know...if you ever wanna hang out some more, all you gotta do is ask."

Trixie smiled sleepily. "Trixie will think about it."

* * * * *

The morning sun filtered dimly through the high, grimy windows in the warehouse hideout of Starlight Glimmer and her cult.

Starlight surveyed her followers' work with pride. "Good work, everypony! I do believe we're almost ready!" She strode up and down the two lines of smiling ponies to either side of her, adjusting the tie on a cloak here, straightening a mane there. "Now, I have to make a little business trip to Canterlot. I'll be gone a few days. I'm taking Coco with me. Hard Sell, I'm leaving you in charge here. We've stored enough food and water for everypony to hold out two weeks, so I don't want anypony leaving the camp until I return. You've already seen how the ponies out there are quick to judge us. I wouldn't want any of you to suffer at the hooves of those selfish, miserable fools in the city." She smiled brightly. "Okay! So we'll be back in a few days!" She nodded to Coco, who adjusted her own cloak as she settled heavy saddlebags onto her back.

* * * * *

Princess Celestia, Twilight, Trixie, Spike, and all their friends stood in the portal room. Sunset Shimmer stood before the portal, saddlebags full of souvenirs strapped across her back.

"I wish you didn't have to go so soon," Twilight said.

Sunset smiled. "I had a lot of fun. But my friends need me, just like yours need you." She rolled her eyes. "They're all insane, but they grow on you, you know? Hanging around here with their doubles...it's just made me miss them even more."

"I know what you mean," Twilight said.

Celestia stepped forward. "Take care of yourself, Sunset," she said softly.

Sunset sniffled. "I will," she said. "If...if you ever wanna write to me, just...y'know...Twilight has the book." She smiled.

"I will be in touch," Celestia said.

Sunset turned to Twilight. "Let me know if you find Starlight Glimmer. I might not be able to come right away if I'm somewhere I can't get to the portal, but I promise I'll come as soon as I can."

Twilight nodded. "Thank you. It means a lot to me knowing I can count on you."

Sunset looked at everypony, then swallowed. "Well...see you," she said. Turning, she stepped through the glowing portal.

* * * * *

The next day, Twilight met Sugarcoat at the train station and led her to the ornate crystal tree-castle on the opposite end of town. Celestia had notified her that the rest of the staff would be arriving the following day.

"Well, Sugarcoat, welcome to the Castle of Friendship!" Twilight said cheerfully once they arrived.

"Your castle is an eyesore," Sugarcoat said as she trotted through the gate.

Twilight's grin faltered. "Great...thanks...come on in."

A tiny, gelatinous blue blob bounced into the entrance hall. It had Trixie's face, Trixie's mane, and a wobbly little horn on top. It regarded them with big, baleful purple eyes.

"What...the..."

"Trixie does not want to talk about it," the blob said.

A Great and Powerful Performance? (Part One)

Author's Note

This chapter is the fanfic equivalent of the turd that you just can't push out, no matter how much Ex-Lax you take, no matter how much oatmeal you eat...it just won't come out, and when it finally does, it comes out slowly, painfully, and with much straining.

So of course, in the time it took for me to push this chapter out, the show pretty much pigeonbombed the entire original premise of this chapter. :facehoof: BUT! I overcame. I think. I hope. Eh, screw it. Let's see where this goes.

Ah well.

A Great and Powerful Performance? (Part One)

Trixie rooted through her saddlebags, fishing deep into the crevices with her hoof. After several minutes of searching the empty bags, she studied the pile of things spread out on her bed.

There were many books, magical props, assorted alchemical substances, and personal effects. There were things Trixie picked up somewhere that she honestly didn't recall owning and couldn't even immediately identify.

Trixie had a great many things indeed stored in her saddlebags. What she did not have...

...were bits.

Trixie's ears folded around her head. "Trixie is broke..."

* * * * *

"Broke?" Twilight echoed at breakfast. It was just the two of them and Spike; Sugarcoat had left before any of them were even awake, leaving a caustic note on the refrigerator and dire imprecations of much work for Twilight later in the day.

Trixie poked at her pancakes miserably. "Trixie has spent a great deal of money since returning to Ponyville, but Trixie's money has only been flowing in one direction." She swiped a bite of pancake through the raspberry syrup on her plate and spent a moment savoring it, then continued, "Trixie has no more money than a burro living under a bridge in a park in Manehattan."

Twilight frowned. "Well, since you're technically my student now, I could give you a scholastic stipend..."

Trixie turned her nose up. "The Great and Powerful Trixie does not need your charity, Twilight Sparkle! I prefer to earn my money." She sighed. "But in order to do that, Trixie will need to leave Ponyville..."

Before either mare could blink, Trixie's fully packed saddlebags, along with her traveling cloak and hat, materialized on the table. "Too bad, we'll miss you, sorry to see you go, best be on the road, be sure to write!" Spike said in a rush.

"SPIKE!" Twilight snapped, glaring disapprovingly at him.

Trixie gave him a half-lidded stare and slowly, deliberately chewed her next bite of pancake.

"What?" Spike retorted innocently. "You said it yourself, you have to leave town to make money."

"Why do you need to leave Ponyville to make money, Trixie?" Twilight asked.

Trixie stared at her incredulously. "Are you serious?" Twilight's hurt and confused expression answered for her. Trixie groaned in annoyance. "Trixie is a performing magician, Twilight. Have you forgotten that?" Narrowing her eyes, she continued, "Have you forgotten what happened the last time Trixie performed in Ponyville?"

Twilight cringed, her ears folding flat against her skull. "Oh."

"This town, Twilight Sparkle, put Trixie on the road to ruin."

"Actually, you kinda did that to yourself, with all the bragging and everything," Spike pointed out. "If you hadn't claimed to have vanquished an Ursa Major, Snips and Snails probably wouldn't have gone looking for an Ursa, they wouldn't have brought it to Ponyville, Twilight wouldn't have shown you up..."

Trixie levitated Spike into the air and turned him upside down. "Excuse me," she said frostily, "but in all my years of performing the same speech to attract crowds, never once has anypony in my audience been that stupid."

"You...make a good point," Spike admitted.

Twilight took Spike from Trixie's magic and set him down in a chair, then frowned at Trixie. "Still, you didn't really get off on the right hoof with anypony that day," she said. "All the bragging, the nasty things you did to my friends..."

Trixie threw her hooves in the air and groaned. "I'M A SHOWPONY, TWILIGHT! My entire art revolves around theatrical displays and exaggeration! If I went out on that stage and just said 'Watch Trixie set off some fireworks and make some things fly around', do you think anypony would stick around for the show, much less hoof over any bits?"

Twilight blinked. "Well...when you put it that way," she said. "Still, the things you said and did to my friends..."

"They were heckling me," Trixie said, grinding her teeth. "A showpony who does not immediately deal with hecklers by making them look foolish in as entertaining a way as possible quicky finds herself a showpony without an audience." She took a sip of juice, then continued, "For whatever reason, Princess, your friends decided to interfere in my livelihood. Had I not responded in kind, the audience would have walked away, and I would have wasted my entire time in Ponyville." She frowned. "Of course, the Ursa incident ultimately did far more damage to my reputation and finances than if I had simply written off the one show because of a few hecklers, but I didn't know at the time that anything like that would actually happen."

"Hey, my friends wouldn't—" Twilight began, but paused, her eyes wide as the incident from years ago played out again in her mind.

Spike looked up at her. "Twilight?"

Just then, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity burst into the room. "Twilight! Our Cutie Marks are glowin'!" Rainbow cried.

"We came as fast as we could!" Applejack said.

Twilight looked around at the three of them, blinking. "The Map summoned you?" She checked her own Cutie Mark; it was completely normal. She set her jaw, then turned back to Trixie. "Sorry, Trixie. We'll have to finish this discussion later."

Trixie, for her part, was staring at the brightly glowing Cutie Marks in confusion. "What in the world...?"

Spike grinned. "Come check it out, this is pretty cool."

* * * * *

Five ponies and a dragon stood around the Cutie Map. Three Cutie Marks—Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Rarity—hovered above the Map's representation of Ponyville, directly over the castle itself. Their actual flanks had stopped glowing the moment they set hoof in the throne room. Trixie stared at the hovering Cutie Marks. "Trixie had believed this map to be merely ornamental," she said, jaw scraping the floor. "What magic is this?"

"One of a kind," Spike said, claws behind his head. "One of a kind."

"So...th' friendship problem we need t' solve is...right here?" Applejack asked, tilting her head.

"Well that sucks," Rainbow Dash said with a frown, crossing her hooves in midair. "I was hopin' we'd get to go on an epic pony quest, and we're already where the Map wants us to be?"

"I don't understand," Rarity said. "What sort of friendship problem could we find right here in Twilight's castle?"

"I think I know," Twilight said softly. She turned to Trixie, who was still staring in awe at the map. "Trixie...back when you first came to Ponyville, it was these three mares who disrupted your show and set off the entire chain of events that ruined your life, right?"

Trixie blinked, then frowned, studying Twilight's friends. "It certainly was," she said.

"H-hey now, wait a minute," Applejack began hotly.

"Ruined her life?" Rarity asked incredulously.

"What're you talkin' about Twilight?" Rainbow Dash asked.

Twilight faced her friends seriously. "Girls," she said, "Trixie needs to put on a show to earn some money. She can't perform here in Ponyville because nopony here will pay to see her show after everything that happened the last two times she was here. I think...I think the Map called the three of you to help Trixie."

"To help her what, pack?" Rainbow demanded.

"To help her repair her reputation in Ponyville," Twilight explained, "so that she can put on a successful show here and not have to leave town."

"But why us?" Rarity asked.

Twilight sighed. "Because the three of you owe Trixie an apology," she said, "for disrupting her first performance in Ponyville three years ago."

Blank stares met that proclamation.

"I beg your pardon, darling, but...how exactly are we to blame for—?"

"Rarity," Trixie said, "how would you react if you were giving a fashion show and somepony in the audience started loudly criticizing your designs?" She tossed her mane, then affected an upper-class Canterlot accent. "I say, did that pony throw up on some cloth and call it a dress? Where did this mare learn fashion design, at clown school?"

"Now wait just a—!"

"Rainbow Dash," Trixie said. "Suppose somepony started throwing tomatoes at you while you were doing stunts?"

Rainbow Dash frowned. "Like anypony could hit me with a tomato when I'm flying."

"Yes, but how would it make you feel?" Trixie pressed. "More importantly, how do you suppose your audience would react?"

Rarity and Rainbow exchanged glances. Their ears drooped.

"The three of you disrupted my show with your heckling," Trixie said.

"Yeah, well...you were pretty mean to us after that!" Rainbow retorted hotly.

"In self-defense!" Trixie protested. "If I had simply stood there and taken your verbal abuse, the crowd would have walked away! I had to use my magic to shut you down to keep the crowd interested!" She glanced at Rainbow. "I'm sure if somepony was throwing things at you during a show, you'd take a shot at them, right?"

Rainbow took a step back, a guilty look on her face. "Maybe," she admitted. She frowned. "But you can't blame everything you've done in Ponyville on us!"

Trixie sighed. "You're right. I can't, and I don't. That whole thing with the Alicorn Amulet was a stupid mistake...one I've been paying for every day since. I've been working hard to make a comeback ever since then, but I never could let go of..." She glanced at Twilight. "Well, let's just say I've always felt like I had unfinished business here in Ponyville. And that's why I came back. But in order to stay here, I need to be able to put on a show and earn some money."

"An' that ain't gonna be easy with your track record here," Applejack said with a sigh.

"That's why I think it's up to you three to help Trixie rebuild her reputation in Ponyville," Twilight said. "I know you all still have issues with Trixie, but you need to work through that, accept her for who she is...be her friends."

Applejack, Rainbow, and Rarity looked at each other.

"Well...I suppose," Rarity said.

Rainbow frowned. "I...I guess I can kinda see that," she said.

Applejack tipped her hat down over her eyes. "Shoot, if'n Ah can't own up t' maybe havin' wronged somepony without meanin' ta..."

"Great!" Twilight said brightly, clapping her hooves. "Now, let's all sit down and make a plan for how to get Trixie's groove back in Ponyville!"

"Excuse me, but you have other business to attend to," a new voice intruded. The group looked around to see Sugarcoat entering the throne room, several clipboards floating around her head. "The first of your new staff are arriving today, you have three schedules to approve, and we need to go over the royal budget for the castle." She looked around the room, adjusting her glasses as she stared at the Cutie Map. "You have a glowing table with Cutie Marks floating above it," she stated unnecessarily.

"And then there's this plothole," Rainbow Dash muttered, dragging a hoof down her face.

Twilight sighed. "Alright...girls, you handle Trixie. I...have Princess stuff to do." She trudged toward Sugarcoat with her ears down and her wings limp.

Spike sighed. "One of these days," he said, shaking his head. "One of these days..." He tottered off after Twilight and Sugarcoat. "Good luck, girls!" he called behind him. "You're gonna need it," he added in a loud mutter.

"I don't particularly care for that Sugarcoat," Rarity said with a mild frown. "She's...abrasive."

"At least she has pleasant enough looks," Trixie said. She blinked as the others stared at her. "What?"

Applejack chuckled. "C'mon, y'all. Let's git crackin' on this."

* * * * *

"So, you've already made out schedules and a budget?" Twilight asked curiously.

"I've been given a job, I'm going to do it to the best of my abilities," Sugarcoat said. "They tell me you're a scheduling freak, but you need to let me take care of your schedules from now on so there aren't any conflicts."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Fine. So what've we got?"

Sugarcoat adjusted her glasses as she leafed through Twilight's schedule. "The next four days are mostly orientation," she said. "Half the palace staff will be arriving later today, the rest will be arriving tomorrow. I've scheduled a series of meetings to draft work schedules and establish employee pay. You have the wedding of Cranky Doodle Donkey and Miss Matilda on Saturday, then three days of rest before you're due to travel to Canterlot to prepare for the Grand Equestria Pony Summit." She paused, flipping back through her notes. "Also, tomorrow you're meeting the new head of your royal catering staff."

Twilight blinked. "What do I need with a royal catering staff?"

Sugarcoat gave her a half-lidded stare. "You're a princess. This is a castle. You'll be hosting state events here at some point. That's what royal caterers do." She turned her attention back to her notes. "Her name is Lemon Hearts. I've worked with her before; she's worked for Princess Celestia for a long time."

Twilight's muzzle crinkled. "That name sounds awfully familiar."

"It should," Spike said. "She used to be one of your friends back in Canterlot, remember?"

"She did?" Twilight asked, tilting her head.

Spike snorted. "I guess you don't remember any of our old friends, do you? Not even the ones who live here in Ponyville now, like Lyra Heartstrings."

Twilight's ears folded down. "I was friends with Lyra back in Canterlot? Why didn't she ever say anything?"

"Well, it's not like you were ever close," Spike said with a shrug. "I mean, you were always blowing off parties and hanging out to study. Like Moondancer's party the day before we came to Ponyville!"

"Moondancer," Twilight said softly, her brow furrowing. "Moondancer..."

Sugarcoat let out a snort. "It's kind of pathetic that the Princess of Friendship can't remember her own friends."

Twilight sagged. "You're right..." She shook her head. "Spike, send a message to Canterlot. Ask Princess Celestia to keep..." She turned to Sugarcoat.

Sugarcoat rolled her eyes. "Lemon Hearts."

"Right, her. To keep her from leaving Canterlot until we get there tomorrow morning." Twilight's wings rustled. "You and I have emergency business in Canterlot."

"We're...gonna track down all your old friends, aren't we?" Spike asked wearily.

"Yes we are!" Twilight said, standing tall.

"And this is what they warned me about," Sugarcoat muttered.

* * * * *

Rainbow Dash rummaged through the pile of magical props Trixie had spread out on the table in one of the many conference rooms in the castle. "Huh," she said. "Some of this stuff actually looks pretty cool."

"This is nothing compared to the props Trixie once possessed on her wagon," Trixie said. "Alas, Trixie is presently without her longtime home and traveling stage..." She sighed. "Which, admittedly, would have made it difficult to put on a traveling show..."

Rarity blinked. "But whatever happened to your wagon, darling?" she asked. "I know your original wagon was destroyed during the Ursa incident, but you did obtain another one, did you not?"

Trixie snorted. "Tirek happened," she said sourly.

"Oh," Rarity said softly. "Yes. Hmm."

"Tirek happened to a lot of ponies," Applejack said. "Heck, we're still fixin' up stuff he an' Twilight wrecked around Ponyville."

"And we're kind of short a public library," Rainbow commented. "Not that anypony ever really, y'know, went to the library for books, but...that's what it was there for, besides being Twilight's home." She bowed her head, ears lowered.

Trixie frowned. "Your mayor hasn't dealt with such things?"

"Mayor Mare can't deal with a turd in th' middle of th' road," Applejack said, shaking her head. "Don't git me wrong, we all love 'er t' death, but she don't hardly seem t' get much mayorin' done."

"And Ponyville's coffers seem to be perpetually empty," Rarity put in. "The mayor once put the financial burden of repairing Town Hall squarely on Applejack's performance in the Canterlot Rodeo."

Applejack cringed. "Thanks fer bringin' that up," she said.

"Sorry, darling."

Rainbow Dash scratched her head. "Huh," she said. "Y'know, I hadn't really thought about it before, but...Ponyville is kind of in sorry shape. I mean, you wouldn't know it because everypony's pretty happy most of the time an' all, but..." She looked around at the other mares. "This town's kinda got some problems, y'know?"

"This town has a laundry list of problems," Trixie said. "It would take Trixie all day to—"

The others glowered at her. She coughed. "Forgive Trixie," she said. "Old habits die hard."

"Yeah, well that stuck-up attitude needs t' die hard," Applejack said. "That right there's a big part of your problem. You say stuff that rubs everypony th' wrong way an' it sure as shootin' don't win ya no friends."

"And without friends, you can't really accomplish much of anything," Rarity said. "We've all learned that lesson time and again."

"Yeah," Rainbow said. "You may be used to bein' a lone pony, goin' from place to place puttin' on your little shows, but ask yourself, where's it really gotten you? I mean, really."

Trixie drew back slightly, raising a hoof, an uncertain expression crossing her muzzle. "It..." She sighed. "Your point is taken," she said softly. "Until Trixie imposed herself upon Twilight Sparkle as houseguest and student, Trixie's life has been...rather forgettable, in all honesty." She sniffled. "In truth, Tri—I don't even have a place to call home."

The others looked at each other uncomfortably. "Well," Rainbow said, "what about Ponyville? Isn't...isn't Ponyville sorta your home now?"

Trixie snorted. "Ponyville hasn't exactly welcomed me with open hooves," she said.

"Well that could change," Applejack said. "Ah mean, if you try hard enough, meet everypony halfway, show 'em you're not...y'know..."

"Ponyville is a very welcoming community," Rarity said gently. "Why, Princess Luna has a far more fearsome legacy and reputation than you, and she is the favorite princess of the children of Ponyville!"

"Except for when they all got swept up in Twilight-mania," Rainbow added.

"Yes, except for that."

Trixie looked around. "Do...do you really think Ponyville would accept me?"

"All you can do is try," Applejack said. "Whuddya got t' lose?"

Trixie sighed. "Still, that does bring Trixie back to the original problem," she said. "Trixie must put on a performance, but Trixie has no place to perform and no bits to procure a stage."

"And we don't exactly have a suitable venue for rent," Rarity mused. "One of many civic improvements Ponyville needs..." She sighed. "That there is simply no money in the town budget for..."

"How does this town function with a bankrupt bureaucracy?" Trixie wondered aloud.

Applejack shrugged. "Mostly it's just folks takin' care of each other an' their own," she said. "We all pitch in t' do whut needs doin' when we can." She sighed. "Course, it means we can't always fix th' big things, like losin' a whole dang library."

Rarity gasped sharply. "I-DEE-A!" She bounced on her hooves excitedly, eyes wide and bright. "I just thought of a way to revitalize Trixie's reputation in Ponyville and raise money to build a new library!" As the others looked at her with interest, she continued, "We can organize a charity street festival! Businesses from all across Equestria can open stalls! Trixie can perform! All the proceeds can go to building a new library!"

"Hay yeah!" Rainbow said. "That sounds awesome! And fun!"

"It'll be a heck of a lot of hard work," Applejack mused, "but me an' Big Mac'll do our part."

"I, of course, will encourage the many strong stallions and savvy salesponies in town to contribute their skills to the cause," Rarity said. "As well as inquire of my Canterlot and Manehattan connections to spread the word."

"I'll see if I can get the Wonderbolts to do a charity air show!" Rainbow added excitedly.

Trixie frowned. "And how exactly does this solve any of my problems?" As the others looked at her, she hurriedly added, "Not that I'm unwilling to help, I mean, after all the trouble I've caused, it's the least I can do, but..."

Rarity smiled reassuringly. "Trixie, dear...performing for charity may not necessarily put bits in your saddlebags, but it will earn you something far more valuable."

"Yeah," Applejack said. "It'll earn you respect. An' you can make some honest t' goodness friends here in Ponyville workin' on this here shindig."

"Besides, it sounds to me like the real problem the Map wants us to solve," Rainbow said thoughtfully, "is what Trixie's future holds." She looked at Trixie. "Whether or not you're gonna live the life of a traveling showpony, or settle down and make a home for yourself. You're destiny's worth way more than a sack of bits, right?"

Trixie stroked her chin with a hoof. "You have given Trixie much to think about," she said. "But I agree, this plan to raise money for the town library, that comes first. Trixie is not going anywhere for some time." She drew away from the girls. "If you will excuse me, I...I need to do some thinking." She packed all her magic props back into her saddlebags and left the room.

* * * * *

"So then I said 'do I look like I have magic pussy pants?' and he said—" Pinkie Pie abruptly stopped talking as her eyes began to contract and dilate out of sync with one another and both of her ears billowed outward.

"Pinkie Pie?"

"Somepony's planning a party," Pinkie said in a suddenly low, serious tone. "A big party. I gotta go!" And with that, she disappeared in a pink blur.

The two mares she'd been talking to looked at each other and shrugged. "So," Minuette said casually, "you're getting a new job in Ponyville."

"That's right," Lemon Hearts said. "And you'll never guess who I'll be working for!"

Minuette smirked. "Let me guess. Our old friend Twilight Sparkle?"

"How'd you guess?"

"Umm...because you're a royal caterer?"

Lemon Hearts giggled. "Oh yeah!" She shook her head and sighed. "It'll be nice to see Twilight again. Do you think she even remembers me?"

"Sure she does!" Minuette said cheerfully. "Why wouldn't she?"

A royal page suddenly rushed up to Lemon Hearts. "Important," he wheezed as he hoofed her a note. "From the Princess."

Lemon Hearts frowned and unfolded the note, reading it. She blinked. "Twilight's coming here to meet me?" She shook her head. "But...I don't understand...I was supposed to leave for Ponyville on the first train tomorrow..."

Minuette giggled. "See? She can't wait to see you again!"

"It's...not just her," the page said. He found another note, then passed it to Minuette. "You are Minuette, correct? You've been summoned too."

Minuette blinked. "Really?" She looked at the note, and her eyes widened. "Why me? I'm not moving to Ponyville..."

"I also have summons for..." The page frowned as he examined the clipboard around his neck. "Twinkleshine and Moondancer." With that, he took off again.

Minuette and Lemon Hearts looked at each other. "Our old friends..." Minuette whispered.

"What do you suppose Twilight's up to?" Lemon Hearts asked.

"No idea," Minuette said. She frowned. "Moondancer, though..." She shook her head.

"Yeah..." Lemon Hearts agreed with a sigh.

* * * * *

Twilight surveyed the group of ponies that arrived shortly before noon with curiosity.

They were a decidedly odd bunch.

First was the earth pony in a maid's uniform. She had a yellow coat, pinkish eyes, and freckles; her bright fuschia mane was done up in a high ponytail and shot through with lighter fuschia streaks and one green stripe. Her tail was long and lush. Her Cutie Mark was a dark pink heart inside a blue outline of a heart, with a turquoise outline of a diamond bisecting both hearts, its axis slightly off-center. She favored Twilight with a glower.

Next was a rather prim unicorn mare with a pale turquoise coat, bright reddish-purple eyes, and a lavender mane in a razor-straight pageboy cut. Several light magenta streaks highlighted her mane. She looked around with interest, her eyes and the frequent press, pinch, and twist of her lips suggesting a number of thoughts were flashing through her mind. Her Cutie Mark was a bright pink sun peeking out from behind a raincloud.

The third pony was a tall, ginger-maned stallion whose Cutie Mark was a kitchen knife with a blue ribbon tied around the handle. He wore a spotless white chef's jacket over his forest green coat.

And then there was Flash Sentry.

Sugarcoat kept pace with Twilight as she walked from one pony to the next. "First, this is one of the maids," she said. "Sour Sweet."

"The head maid," Sour Sweet said.

"Actually, your sister Syrupy Sweet is the head maid," Sugarcoat pointed out.

"That's what she wants you to think," Sour Sweet hissed.

Twilight frowned. "Is she...okay?" she whispered to Sugarcoat.

"She's a little bipolar," Sugarcoat replied. "A pony as neurotic as you are shouldn't have a problem with that."

"HEY!"

"Moving on," Sugarcoat said briskly, stepping to the unicorn mare. "Here we have Sunny Flare. She'll be your royal coordinator. She'll be in charge of..." Sugarcoat's brow furrowed. "Coordination," she finished awkwardly.

"A pleasure to meet you, Your Highness," Sunny Flare said silkily.

"Next we have Cordon Bleu," Sugarcoat said. "He'll be your personal chef."

Twilight frowned. "I thought that was supposed to be Lemon Hearts."

"No, Lemon Hearts is the caterer," Sugarcoat corrected. "She'll be in charge of the staff that handles large-scale dinners and functions. For every day, Cordon Bleu will be preparing meals for you, the staff, and...whoever else happens to be freeloading on any given day."

"I'm all for that," Spike said. "Don't get me wrong, I like to cook, but I could sure use a break sometimes." He toddled up to Cordon Bleu and held out a claw for a hoofbump. "I'll get you up to speed on what everypony likes, maybe even share some of my own recipes."

Cordon Bleu bumped his claw with a hoof. "I'm looking forward to it," he said with a faint brogue.

"And last we have—"

"Flash Sentry, yes, I know who he is," Twilight said. She tilted her head. "Flash, what are you doing here? I thought you were part of the Crystal Guard. Besides, I told Celestia no guards!"

Flash rustled his wings, flinching under Twilight's scrutiny. "Don't look at me, this was Princess Cadance's idea," he said. "And Princess Celestia said she doesn't think it's a good idea for any castle to be totally without guards, so..." He shrugged. "Just think of me as a doorman? With armor?" He scratched the back of his helmeted head sheepishly.

Twilight facehoofed. "Cadance," she muttered. "That figures." She sighed. "Fine, I guess it won't hurt to have ONE! guard." She looked over the group again and smiled. "Well! I hope you'll all enjoy living here in Ponyville. It's a lot different from Canterlot. I'm sure you'll make lots of friends!"

"Yeah, because that's why I left my whole life in Canterlot behind, to make friends with farmers and hayseeds," Sour Sweet said.

"Oi," Cordon Bleu barked. "Get your head out of your arse. Act like a fucking adult!"

Sunny Flare pressed a hoof to her forehead. "Will you two stop? You've been doing this since we left Canterlot, I swear to Celestia..."

"Could you all not do this in front of the Princess of Friendship?" Spike snapped harshly. "Sheesh!"

Twilight took a step back, drawing up a hoof. "Wow," she said. "Looks like I've got my work cut out for me with this bunch..."

"And you have six more ponies coming in tomorrow," Sugarcoat pointed out.

"Aren't you supposed to be in charge of this bunch?" Spike asked.

Sugarcoat adjusted her glasses. "I make the schedules and hand out assignments," she said. "I'm not here to deal with their personality problems."

"Yeah, you've got your own personality problems to deal with," Spike muttered.

"I, uhh...I think I'm gonna..." Twilight looked at the bickering ponies, then at Flash, who gave her a sheepish wing-shrug. "Apple," Twilight finished lamely before teleporting away.

* * * * *

Trixie laid on her bed, hooves behind her head, staring up at the ceiling without seeing it, lost in thought. She almost missed the bright magenta flash that lit up her room, but her reverie was broken by the heavy sigh, and completely shattered when a second body flopped onto the bed next to her. She glanced over at Twilight, pursing her lips. "I know it's your castle, but you could try knocking," she said.

"Sorry," Twilight said. "I just..." She frowned. "Shouldn't you be with the girls, planning your comeback show?"

"The plans have...mutated somewhat," Trixie said. "After lengthy discussions, not all of which directly concerned Trixie's well-being, we have unanimously decided to plan a charity street festival to raise money to build a new library."

"A new...library..." Twilight's eyes turned sad. "A new library," she whispered.

Trixie glanced at her. "I know the Golden Oak Library was your home, and...and I know the idea of replacing it hurts, but...your friends have a point. Ponyville doesn't have a public library anymore."

Twilight sighed. "You're right," she said. "It's past time there was a new library for everypony. I just...still can't..." She shook her head. "But enough about me. How does this help you?"

Trixie shrugged. "That is what Trixie is presently pondering," she said. Her brow furrowed, and one ear twitched. "I...I have a decision to make, and I think taking part in this festival they're planning is...is important."

"A decision?" Twilight asked.

Trixie glanced at her. "I have to decide where my destiny lies, Twilight," she said. "Up until today, I never questioned the fact that I'm a traveling magician. It just made sense that that was my entire reason for being. But..." She looked back up at the ceiling. "I'm a pony without a home," she said. "I think...I think the next few weeks are going to be a crossroads for me." She kicked a back leg absently. "Do I move on from here once I feel my studies are complete? Continue my transient lifestyle, carrying everything I own with me from town to town, living show to show? Or...or do I settle down and find a place to call home?" She sighed. "I guess...I guess the real question is, can I call Ponyville home?"

Twilight smiled. "I think I'd like that," she said. "You're still pretty rough around the edges, but I've gotten used to having you around. And so has Spike, even though he'll never admit it."

Trixie snorted.

"So, a street festival, huh?" Twilight mused. "That sounds like fun. And a lot of work to put together."

"Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash seem confident they can pull it off," Trixie said. "And I will put forth my own efforts as well."

"I don't think you'll be doing it alone," Twilight said. She grimaced. "For once, though, you'll probably be doing it without me. I've already got my hooves full with this conference in Canterlot, and on top of that, Celestia apparently decided I don't have enough crazy ponies in my life, because she just dumped a whole manure wagon full of them right in my lap!"

"So that's why you're in here," Trixie said. "You freaked out and ran away."

"I did NOT freak out!" Twilight retorted hotly. "I...!" She sighed. "Okay, so I freaked out. But when you meet these ponies, you'll understand why." She paused, then added hesitantly, "And...you may have to deal with them by yourself tomorrow, because Spike and I need to make an emergency trip to Canterlot first thing in the morning."

Trixie shot her a sideways glance. "Twilight Sparkle, you are not leaving Trixie alone with that caustic twat Sugarcoat and a castle full of lunatics!"

"Actually, I kind of am," Twilight said. "Think of it as a friendship lesson! Try to keep them from killing each other for one whole day."

Trixie groaned. "Ugh. Fine. But you owe Trixie!"

"That's the spirit!" Twilight stood up and stretched. "Well, I'd better get back downstairs and see if they redecorated my castle with each other." She waved a wing, then teleported away.

Trixie shook her head and snorted. "This is what I'm thinking of calling home from now on? I must be insane..."

* * * * *

In a dilapidated shanty near the old colisseum in Canterlot, an unkempt unicorn mare in a dark pullover sweater studied a royal summons which had been hoof-delivered to her dwelling earlier in the day.

"Twilight Sparkle," she muttered to herself. "Twilight Sparkle..."

She crushed the summons into a ball and tossed it into the wastepaper bin.

"Don't need you...leave me alone..."