Cave Impact

by Dodo Of Chaos

Rating: teen
Tags: Starlight Glimmer, Adventure, Random, Alternate Universe, Romance, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 949

[SEASON 5 SPOILER WARNING] After Starlight glimmer teleported to escape, she finds a rather amusing and romantic situation.

After Starlight glimmer teleported to escape, she finds a rather amusing and romantic situation.

I would put a warning here, but that gives away spoilers.

Published 2015-04-10 22:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-10 22:00:02 UTC

The Cave Arc ~ I'm Going In!

The most common thing that went through my mind while she was running from an anti-equality group was,

"OH FAUST HELP ME"

Faust didn't seem to acknowledge her anyways.

The ones that did were her own pursuers, which had a nearly drunk warrior feel to them. They're just missing the foaming mouth, beer, and bloody decapitation swords. Oh wait.

"Give up, Starlight!"

"Not if some random camoflauge pony covers me in snow!"

Guess what happened.

That actually happened, making me drop those stupid cutie marks, which returned to their rightful owners.

"Crap!"

I chose the only decision, which was to teleport.

Unfortunately, I was right next to a cave, and I was too weak to teleport.

At least teleport accurately.

When I have arrived to the cave, I did the first thing that came to mind.

After my... fit was finished, I decided to take the pacing slower.

The cave walls were, well, cavernous. And dark. Really, really dark. The only source of light was from my horn.

There was some things I knew based on instinct.

1: I was extremely deep underground.

2: Comas feel like nothing.

3: That random sleeping pony with the messed up green and orange hair- REALLY messed up -and white coat is very random.

~~Now, I would go ahead and say that this guy is big trouble, but that would give spoilers.~~

Oops.

My thoughts must have been really loud because burning grass mane was waking up.

"I.. dunt.. wanna groove like Mike.."

"Who the hay is Mike?"

Grass mane opened his eyes wide and like this much wide and ran, far far away.

"Oh no you don't!"

If there was one thing I was not going to be in this cave, it's ~~virgin~~ lonely.

I had most of my energy back by now, so I telepounced on grass mane and he shrieked as I started ~~making sweet, sweet love with him~~ pushing him to the floor. I don't like violence, but I only wanted to be friends. I use violence to get friends. Ever heard of politics? The guy didn't have a cutie mark, so he likely has been in this cave since he was a foal. Who could live in this place anyways? What did he eat? Manifested beans with a side of manure?

"I don't have any money, I swear!"

"Shut up! I fancy you!"

"What?"

*thwack*

"MY BALLS!"

As the poor guy collapsed, I dragged him back to my starting position and waited for him to regain consciousness.

If you were wondering, I did in fact fancy the guy, and I find it amusing that he was scared of me. It was kind of cute, but now you'll call me a freak because I like scared ponies. But you already call me a communist Nazi so I don't think being a freak is that bad. I think.

Ouch. Coming from grass mane, that hurts a lot.

"And could you not call me burning grass mane? My name is Silver View."

That's nice. I got his name without asking.

"Oh, my name is Starlight Glimmer. How long have you been here Silver?"

I swear that Silver cringed (haha) when I said my name, but I'll save the plot twists for later.

"Since I was about 6 years old."

Woah. So that's why your flank is blank?

"Yep."

"...I said that out loud?"

"Yeah, when we get out, you should see a doctor."

...

...

Did he just say...

"We?"

He gave me a confuzzled look. "Yeah, we. You said you wanted to be my partner in crime?"

I backed away quickly. "Crime? I only wanted to be your partner!"

"...in what?"

"EVERYTHING! I just now that we'll be best buddies!"

Oh Faust, I think I had some Pinkie Pie rubbed off on me.

"Why are we doing this again?"

"Exploration!"

Well, nice and logical answer, dude.

While I eated a can of manifested beans, I can't help that I have the feeling that the anti-equality ministry is having a party somewhere.

"What is it Pinkie?'

"Somebody's talking about us..."

"I can't help it either. Starlight must be pretty pissed at us."

Pinkie stopped twitching. "I think she has been relieved."

Twilight gasped a gasp that should only be of Rarity. "She escaped?"

"No.. she engaged in sweet, sweet lovemaking."

"..."

"..."

Twilight argued with Pinkie by saying "..." but Pinkie interrupted her by retorting with "..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"What."

Awkward clop scene aside, Starlight was completely loving Silver, who was sleeping next to her.

"Poor colt."

List of what not to be

~~Lonely~~

~~Virgin~~

"Humama- wha~?"

"Oh, you're awake."

"Oh, hey sweetie.."

My heart nearly exploded because of two reasons:

A: Cuteness

B: OH MY FAUST HE CALLED ME THAT

"Hey sleepy burning grass metal plate."

"What?"

*thwak*

"MY BALLS!"

The guy fell asleep again, and right on to of his crotch, too. That must hurt a lot.

While I was waiting for another sign of consciousness, I ate some manifested beans and explored for a bit.

When I came back, Silver was gone.

Well... I was.. expecting that?

I sighed, and then noticed another trail of torches.

Well.. if this wasn't giving me deja vu, I don't know what will.

The dumbass wanker decided to fuck up and take a shitbag sleep along a wall, and- oh Faust I'm drunk while I'm writing this?

Anyways, the guy decided to sleep on a cave wall under an unlit torch, which means he is trying to avoid me.

And, frankly, he doesn't know what happens when you hide from me.

Inside Silver's Mind

"Achoo!"