Twilight's Kingdom is smothered in Semen

by TheBlackPony

Rating: mature
Tags: Rainbow Dash, Sex, Comedy, Random, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2166

Three Little Ponies Decided to Have a Prank War Somepony else decided their Pranking mettle was insufficient Now they'll see what one does to REALLY bring down a prank war

Three Little Ponies Decided to Have a Prank War
Somepony else decided their Pranking mettle was insufficient
Now they'll see what one does to REALLY bring down a prank war

A Sequel to Twilight's Kitchen is stocked with Semen

Published 2015-04-09 01:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-09 01:00:01 UTC

The Day Ponyville Turned White

It began as a dull tremor, one that was 'just' enough to wake a certain sleeping princess from her slumber with a drowsy 'Hwhu?' Followed almost Immediately by a Great Splashing 'THOOOM!' and an intense palace vibrating rumble that removed from sight what little sun-light was already visible... Honestly, It felt like an tiny earth-quake, but there was only one thing on Twilight's mind, a thing that was made verbally known as she begrudgingly pulled herself from her bed.

"I swear to Celestia... If This is 'another' bucking Palace Painting Jizz Prank, I'm going to make her 'lick' it off this time!"

But then she noticed something that suddenly had her worried...

Spike was still here
He was in his bed, though now staring at a blackened window
He was 'not' out with rainbow being put to work supplying another prank
He also looked worried enough to make it clear he wasn't involved this time

"Oh no..."

Naturally, fearing the possibility of something cataclysmic actually happening and having wasted time considering that it was just another prank, She vanished in a flash, and reappeared outside the Palace's main doors, unwilling to just 'appear' outside without first getting a peek that wouldn't have worked from the window.

Thankfully though, Relief flooded her as she pushed open one of the huge doors with her magic and light poured through the cracked opening... and just as quickly it vanished when she continued inching it open...

She had seen many strange things over the years, botched magic experiments, a whole town brainwashed [by her], Celestia in the shower, Her palace bucking 'covered' in dragon spoo... But this... It left her speechless, uncomprehending, and thoroughly horrified at the same time... until it all melted into clueless fury, already she'd begun heating up as she shouted.

"WHO or WHAT could 'POSSIBLY' had done 'THIS!?'"

She stepped out, using her magic to 'shove' the veritable ocean of mess out of the way of her door so that she could properly see beyond it, and earned herself a sight that snatched a gasp from her throat...

White... White as far as the eye could see... or perhaps, more of a 'vanilla' white, there is a difference afterall, stop tangenting!

All of ponyville was 'white', every blasted inch had been subjected to what appeared to be a literally knee deep layer of thick heavy white goop, and now reeked of untold debaucherous acts that supplied such a volume of the stuff... Oh sweet Celestia! The foals were 'playing' in it like it was snow! and... wait...

She began noticing strange details about it... It didn't behave like the viscous slime that had covered her palace before, or the juicy mess that filled her pantry... no, it was 'much' thicker, Like thick white jello, it clung to the edge of everything, no dripping or oozing, and more so, it appeared to have 'spared' a great number of smaller objects of it's wrath, food carts, smaller more fragile houses, anypony who'd been outside was actually in the middle of a perfectly placed hole in the layer... Door-ways and windows even had a small 'safe zone' around them that let them be opened, yet even they were painted with the comically deep layer of this stuff, but strangely, the layer appeared as if it was cut and 'sculpted' to fit anything that moved.

This wasn't a broad reaching splash attack, this was a surgical strike on a town-wide scale designed to 'not' break anything... What mad pony could have possibly pulled off something like this?!

Twilight's mind was already blitzing through the possibilities, her expression trapped in one of unbelieving shock as she began to trudge forward, using a sheet of Telekinesis to push to Gelatinous mess out of her path, causing it to pile up on the sides and stay just like fluid physics said it 'shouldn't'-

As soon as that thought hit her, half way through ponyville she shouted suddenly "DIIIISSCOOORRRD!!!!"

"You rang?" and right before her floating in the air appeared everyone's favorite, and so far only, Draconequus... only to recoil himself "Sweet Tartarus Twilight, What is that sm-... Ponyville is coated in... I'm going to get this out of the way and be perfectly frank for once little princess... I am not responsible for this, but tell me, have you been in the middle of a very 'noticeable' prank war?" Of course he knew she had been, but still had to tease... Naturally, he had the biggest shit eating grin imaginable on his face.

Twilight wasn't sure if she should believe him or not, and being a bit shell-shocked still she wasn't quite thinking straight "Yes... yes we have, why?"

"oh-hohohoho... It's just that, it seems you must have caught the eye of a bigger prankster than yourself and made them feel challenged... not 'me' of course, nobody could challenge 'me' for pranking capacity... Unfortunately, Celestia banned me millennia ago from joining in another prank war... even though I apologized for Mixing two entire species together by accident, i had no idea it would do that! at the time... Oh well, you must be on your way, I'll get out of your hair!" He vanished with a mad giggle... Normally he would've teased longer but... well, he knew where this was going, and as sure of himself as he was, he actually didn't want to be near Twilight when she found the inevitable 'it'.

She 'might' have wondered if he had planned that little hinting of ancient species tampering just to confuse her enough to escape... If it hadn't worked so well and left her in a confused jumble for a few seconds, before she dropped it and simply teleported into the sky where she could get a better view... a view that left her jaw dropped.

It... It covered a Mile's distance around the town too... There was just... so... much!

And that wasn't even all! Every cloud in the tower had a layer on it too! and they were slowly drifting towards the ground from the weight, safe Rainbow's house, which was still covered, but appeared to have enough lift to still resist the weight... Applejack's Farm was covered too, safe for the vast stretches of tree's that could've been damaged and her crop ruined if such a thing had blanketed them... Interestingly, a full 50 meters around Fluttershy's house was spared, same for the ponyville school house, and-

"You can't be serious..."

Every moment her stare turned more and more incredulous as she took in one detail after another... There were too many things registering in her mind as something she 'should' be stopping... Foals having a 'snow ball' fight, A certain Zebra collecting jar-fulls for some nondescript Alchemical purposes, The CMC appeared to be building some kind of cannon and filling it with this stuff... There we even a couple of ponies who obviously had terribly dirty minds 'playing' in it where they thought nopony else could see them, and Jelly Jar appeared to be in heaven, 'swimming' through the stuff...

"Twilight!"

Her attention suddenly shifted, turning a decidedly slightly unstable and absolutely flabbergasted expression towards the voice...

Naturally, Rainbow Dash recoiled upon seeing that kind of expression, but quickly covered her own ass "Twi, first thing! I didn't do it this time! Second, WHAT THE BUCK DID?!" All she got in response was a slow disbelieving shake of her head.

Those past pranks, they were manageable, a little fun even, irritating too, but still...

'This'? this was a whole other level... Whoever calls 'this' a prank had to have been a freaking mastermind!

"Well, uh... I think I saw Pinkie pie hopping through the towards one of those little hills just outside of town... like she had a reason to, but it was kindof hard to tell, she was sortof... covered in it. Maybe we should go check?" She got a little 'lead the way' hoof wave, and off they went.

As they flew along at a decidedly shell-shocked and moderate pace, taking in one ridiculous scene of gooey whiteness after the next... then they found 'it'.

Pinkie was already standing there, white from the shoulders down and currently giggling remarkably loud while Rainbow and Twilight landed next to her...

"I don't get it..." Rainbow really didn't, it was just a bigger version their own calling cards addressed to all of them as TS, RD, and PP... but twilight... to twilight, it was a dangerously familiar phrase.

She stared at the scene with an ever increasing twitchy flinch in her expression... the small hill they were on was spotless! save for one thing, some of the gelatinous muck had been shaped into a word... one she could almost hear being 'whispered' in her ear as she stared at it.

Rainbow easily noticed the signs and suddenly zipped over to pick-up pinkie and get out of the blast zone...

___________________________________

Somewhere far away, one watching through a telescope, an absolutely delighted pair of individuals watched Twilight's melt-down on the hill... The plan had gone perfectly, even as the fiery explosion of magic boils some of the Jizz that surrounded the little hill and evaporated 'it', the gleeful giggles and slightly growly chuckles never ceased... This part had been planned as well of course, luring her out of town before the inevitable melt-down to make sure she didn't accidentally hurt somepony... they could almost hear the shout and explosion from their distance.

It had been a good while since they'd had a chance to do something so pointlessly juvenile, and it was great to finally get an excuse to let loose, then they looked away for a bit, the much deeper voice speaking first "Ahhh, It's been a while since we've done this... I wasn't sure I'd put out that much, but after a good few years of getting backed-up It worked... It was worth it to... I've rather missed being able to come around more often."

Then the much more feminine one replied "Yes, it was quite fun back then, unfortunately times change... though perhaps 'I' should visit 'you' more often... I am actually quite impressed by how much there was, Though I can't imagine it was comfortable holding all of that."

"Oh believe me, it wasn't. You know, I hear about more than a few who think 'over-full' and 'stretched-big' would be a 'hot' thing to feel... Without magic to work with it, it actually becomes a real bitch... as in, it practically feels like one of them clawing their way around in there... But, at least it all eventually went to a good cause, hahah!"

"Oohhh, that it did, heehee... Nobody out-pranks the 'real' pros." A decidedly huge black scaled claw and a much smaller white hoof bumped together before it spoke again.

"Wait... what's she doing?"

"Hmmm?" Back into the telescope to peek, they realized the one little detail they'd forgotten... During their time as the pranking champions, they had never 'had' someone like Twilight Sparkle to prank, and the image on the hill would've caused paleness in the observer had they not already been white.

'It' had been burned into the hillside now, the very message they had left behind to tease her of their victory turned into a burnt reply as she stood beneath it... Staring straight at them! Her eyes alight with magic, and indeed her body wreathed head to hoof an aura that mixed her natural lavender magic with various fiery colors that went quite well with her glowing white coat and burning mane and tail... The gooiness on the hillside around her bubbled constantly from the heat and yet... Instead of a terrifying snarl on her muzzle, it was even more worrisome that they spotted a grand diabolical Grin.

"Oohhhh 'buck'..."

Her magical colors spread allover ponyville and beyond then, A world-class display of magical power swept up every little gelatinous droplet, remarkable care taken to avoid snatching up any pony or someone's important something into the rising ocean of spoo... Which was soon dragged towards her and quickly formed into a massive ball above her head, one visible to the naked eye from miles away, then it compressed... and again, and again, being crushed down to a smaller more manageable size, though still large enough to take out a house if she dropped it, and surely it was under great pressure... Then it began to glow brightly and her grin widened...

"oh.... shi-"

A moment later it vanished, and the one after there was a dull 'THOOM!' and wet splorching rush filled everything around them and glued everything down.

______________________________________

Nearly all of Equestria heard the shout!

"WHAT FOOL HAST DARED TO FILL MINE QUARTERS WITH BOILING DRAGON SEMEN?!" The foundations of Canterlot shuddered under the furious voice, and one might be able to see a large black object and a smaller shining white one zipping away from Canterlot as fast as they could go.