Principal of Equestria

Chapters

1: The Perils of Sulking Near Portals
2: Stuck in Equestria
3: Twilight Explains It All
4: Sunset After Dark
5: Familiar Faces
7: Back to Ponyville
8: Big Trouble in Little Canterlot
9: Ups and Downs
10: Scum and Villainy
11: Group Therapy
12: Three Mares and a Lady
13: Dresses and Saddles
14: Date Night Pt1
15: Date Night Pt2
16: Date Night Pt3 - The Datening
17: Cleaning Up
18: Friends and Family
19: Fear and Loving in Las Pegasus
20: All's Fair in Love and War
21: Tall, Dark, and Horseome
22: Three’s Company
6: Like Looking in a Really Weird Mirror

1: The Perils of Sulking Near Portals

Celestia frowned as she read through the letter for the fourth time that evening.

Principal Celestia,

Given the number of stressful events that have occurred recently at CHS, it is the board's recommendation (and by recommendation we mean mandate) that you take an extended vacation. It will of course be fully paid, and is by no means intended as any kind of punitive measure. You have always done an exemplary job as Principal, and we simply wish for you to be at your best to allow that trend to continue. Your sister has agreed to take over your duties in the interim, so you need not worry about the state of the school during your vacation. We hope you have a wonderful time, and look forward to your return

Sincerely,
Superintendent Faust

She sighed as she finished and let the letter fall back onto her desk. She leaned back in her chair and sighed again, though with a bit more emphasis, casting her eyes to the ceiling of her office. "I can't believe I'm being forced to take time off, that's just idiotic..." she mumbled to herself. She sat back forward and looked around for something to do, the small clock on her desk catching her eye. It was almost 9PM, which meant she wasn't even supposed to be in the building anymore.

A deep frown creased Celestia's face as she drummed her fingers on the desk, the voice in her head trying to rationalize staying a bit longer and delaying the official start of her exile, but eventually she gave up, standing and gathering a few personal effects. As much as she wanted to, she was not about to break the rules, rules she had made herself.

A few minutes later and she was exiting the main doors of the school, the cool darkness of a parking lot in late spring rushing to greet her. She began making her way towards her car, but halfway there, the large statue out on the lawn caught her eye. "Well, technically I'm not in the building anymore," she told herself, turning slightly and making a line for the statue. There was something inviting about the large marble monument, and it was a common loitering spot for many of the students. Celestia herself had sat there a few times while reading over policy documents or whatever else, and it seemed the perfect spot to mourn her impending absence just a bit longer.

She sat down on the stone walkway just in front of the statue's base and looked over the front of the school, a small smile threatening her sour mood. She personally thought it was a very beautiful building, looking a bit more like a small College than a typical High School. You couldn't even tell a hole had been blown in the front of it earlier that year. At that thought, her smile disappeared again.

She hated herself for it a little but, if she was honest, she still held a bit of a grudge against Sunset Shimmer for breaking her school, brainwashing her students, and now contributing to her forced hiatus. Originally Celestia had wanted to get the Police involved, or at least expel her, but Luna had made a compelling case for showing some lenience, and it seemed to be paying off, as Ms. Shimmer seemed to be doing quite a good job at turning her life around. That being said, Celestia still felt a bit miffed over the whole thing.

She could feel another big sigh of annoyance and self-pity welling up inside her, so she made to lean back against the statue and make her presentation as dramatically huffy as she was feeling. Unfortunately, the sigh never got the opportunity as it caught in her throat and was replaced by a panicked "eep!" as she leaned backwards and felt no statue to support her. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she thought it was a lot like the panic you feel when you are walking up a flight of stairs and try to step up one too many times as you reach the top.

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Sunset Shimmer was whistling a light tune to herself as she walked towards the school. She had just left her friends for the evening as they had finished seeing a movie, and needed to stop by the school to get a book that had been forgotten in the bottom of her locker. Technically, nobody but the janitorial staff were supposed to be in the building so late at night, but she still knew a few ways to sneak in, experience gleaned during her time as Queen Bitch of the school. Normally she wouldn't bother, preferring to stick to the rules these days, but she needed the book, and after tonight the school would be locked up tight until Monday.

As Sunset neared the building, she noticed someone was sitting in front of the school statue, and it didn't take long to recognize the rainbow haired Principal. She frowned slightly, a few second thoughts on sneaking into the school popping into her mind. Principal Celestia had certainly been more friendly towards her than most of the student body since the she-demon incident, but there was still a noticeable coldness there whenever they interacted.

Sunset turned to make her way back home, deciding to give up on the book, but was forced to look back in surprise when she heard a sudden yelp. She turned just in time to watch the last few inches of the Principal's legs disappear into the base of the statue. "Ugh...well that's probably not gonna go well..." Sunset said aloud, her expression scrunching as she tried to think of what she should do next.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Celestia landed on her back with a soft thud. It hadn't hurt, which was surprising since she felt like she had fallen a lot further than a few feet. She also couldn't figure out why she felt like she was laying on a very soft carpet, why it was suddenly a lot darker and less windy outside, and why everything smelled like old paper. "I better not have given myself a concussion or something," she grumbled as she attempted to sit up, but lost her balance halfway and landed back on the floor with a second muted thump.

Something about her body felt off, as if all her limbs were shorter and clumsier than they used to be. "Great job Celestia, start your vacation with brain damage, way to go." At least she was still capable of sarcasm, so that was something. She reached to grab her cell phone from her coat pocket, figuring an ambulance might be a good idea, despite how humiliating the circumstances were. As her hand reached her side however, she let out a high pitched scream of shock. What should have felt like fingers touching cotton instead felt like a wooden fist touching soft fur.

Before she could dwell on the thought for too long, she heard nearby footsteps, footsteps that sounded like wooden shoes on stone. As they drew nearer, a number of lights came on, illuminating the room, and Celestia realized she was lying on the floor of an enormous library. The footsteps were very close at this point, and she looked in their direction, hoping to see a familiar face, or at least someone friendly and helpful looking despite their strange choices in footwear.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Twilight Sparkle came up to the half open door to the library, noticing the castle had seen her coming and kindly turned the lights on by itself in anticipation. "This place is so weird sometimes..." she whispered to herself, pressing a forehoof to the door and opening it the rest of the way. "Spike is that...oh! Princess, what are you doing in the library...laying on the ground...in the dark...at night?" She asked her mentor quizzically, one brow firmly arched in question. "That sorta seems like something I'd do..."

Celestia was utterly speechless. A tiny purple horse, with wings and a horn, had just walked in, started talking, and called her Princess. "Yep...I definitely have brain damage...um...Ms. Purple Horse, could you please call an ambulance for me? I fell a minute ago and I think I've hit my head pretty badly and, as I just mentioned, am hallucinating that you are a purple horse." It probably wasn't the best way to ask for immediate medical assistance, but it was the best her utterly baffled mind could come up with in the moment.

Twilight's eyes widened at the mention Celestia might be hurt and she was about to start full on panic mode and teleport the Princess to the nearest hospital when her mind finally processed what had just been said and brought her train of thought to a grinding halt. "Horse? Princess, we're ponies, you know that, not to mention I've always been purple." Part of her knew she should be focusing more on her teacher's strange confusion than pedantry, but she couldn't help herself.

Celestia ignored the strange statement, chalking it up to more hallucination, and attempted to get up again, this time managing to roll over onto her front at least. She was about to take a second stab at asking for help when she was interrupted by a sharp gasp from "Ms. Purple Horse".

"Celestia, what happened to your wings!?" Twilight gasped, so shocked she forgot to use the alicorn's, well former-alicorn's, title.

Reflexively, Celestia turned to look behind herself, letting out a gasp of her own. Of course, in her case, the surprise wasn't in her apparent lack of wings, as having any would have been disconcerting all on it's own, but instead it was in the reflection that stared back at her from the surface of a strangely ornate mirror.

In the mirror was the image of a bright white pony with a multicolored pastel mane and tail, a horn jutting from it's forehead, and large magenta eyes widened in shock, and no small amount of terror.

"WHY AM I A TALKING HORSE!?" she screamed, scrambling awkwardly up onto four long legs so she could properly survey herself.

"What in Equestria are you talking about Princess?" Twilight asked meekly, beginning to worry even more at the display of bizarre behavior. "...and why are you...smaller?" Now that she was standing, it was obvious Celestia lacked her normally imposing stature, and now stood an inch or so shorter than Twilight. Twilight couldn't help but marvel at the thought for a moment, never before in her life had she been able to look down on Celestia. Well physically at least. Twilight knew she'd never look down on her beloved mentor in the other meaning of the phrase.

This line of thinking, as well as Celestia's panicked self inspection, were both interrupted as the mirror began to ripple and a deep yellow mare burst through the portal. "Twilight! The other Celestia has..." Sunset stopped mid sentence as she noticed the white unicorn standing right next to her. "Oh...I guess you already know..."

"Sunset? What are you doing here, not that I'm not happy to see you," Twilight gave her newest friend a warm but confused look. "and what do you mean other Celestia..." Twilight now too had stopped mid sentence as she connected the dots. "Oh...you mean...oh...um....that's not good is it?" she asked with a deep frown, all sorts of questions forming in her mind and shoving at each other to demand her mental attention.

Celestia meanwhile looked the newest pony in the room up and down. The yellow color, the fiery hair, and the purple one had called her Sunset, it had to be. "Sunset Shimmer? You've turned into a h-pony too?" she asked, her daze of confusion worsening. She wasn't even sure why she had acquiesced to referring to them as ponies over horses, though it did seem to be a more fitting term.

Sunset looked over to Celestia, taking a moment before answering. "Um, yes, well sort of...technically I've always been a pony...um...and this is...well, you remember Twilight Sparkle?" she gestured to the young princess as she asked, a plastic smile on her face.

Celestia looked back and forth between the two. Now that she thought about it, just as she had noticed with Sunset, the other pony had some very obvious similarities with the awkward purple skinned girl who had saved her school from certain doom twice now.

"I see..." she started slowly "I do remember you Ms. Sparkle, and while it is very nice to see, uh, you again, could one of you two please explain to me WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!"

Author's Note

So, story number 2, here we go! This idea popped into my head one day and I couldn't resist writing it. Gonna try to keep both this and The Sun Has Lost Its Mind regularly updated, though it might be a bit longer between chapters as a result. Anyways I hope you all enjoy it!

Thanks to Vanderblast for editing.

2: Stuck in Equestria

Both Twilight and Sunset flinched away at Celestia's sudden outburst. "Sunset, what does hell mean?" Twilight whispered, keeping her eyes glued to the exasperated Principal.

"It's..." Sunset paused, trying to sum the concept up in her head. While she was sure Twilight would be fascinated with the concepts of religion and mythology in the world beyond the mirror, now probably wasn't the best time to dive into it. Not to mention Sunset had only a cursory understanding of it herself. "Just think of it as Tartarus, the expletive is used pretty much the same way anyways," she whispered back.

Twilight gave a quick nod of understanding, then returned to speaking volume as she addressed Celestia. "Ahem, um, well first of all, let me welcome you to Equestria! I'm sure this is all a lot to take in, but I'd be happy to explain, and then we can get you on your way back home."

Celestia simply gave Twilight a rather grumpy look. She normally would've avoided being so abrasive, but by this point she had firmly and hopefully decided that this must all be some weird dream, and it would be over soon. "I think I'd like to just skip ahead to the going home part Ms. Sparkle."

In response, Twilight could only awkwardly give a forced chuckle. While she now knew this Celestia was not her mentor, she still felt the tiny flutter of fear at the thought of disappointing her in any way. "Right, of course, home is best! Right this way Princes-ipal." Twilight almost facehoofed at her lingual stumble, but instead opted to gesture towards the mirror. "You just have to step back through the mirror here."

Celestia considered asking why she had almost been called Princess again, her natural inquisitiveness needling at the back of her mind, but instead dismissed it. "Thank you Twilight." She smiled softly, incapable of being completely callous to the strange dream creatures for some reason or another. This perked the little pony right up, she noticed, as if she had just been deeply praised, but Celestia pushed the hints of curiosity aside yet again and turned towards the mirror.

"Right, just walk through the magical mirror...you've been reading too many of those fantasy novels again," she snarked to herself, before squaring her...shoulders?...haunches?...well whatever, towards the mirror. She started at it with a determined but loping pace, having never walked on four legs before. Alright, walk through, wake up dozing against the statue, drive home, open largest bottle of wine, GO!

"OW!"

Again, Twilight and Sunset reacted simultaneously, this time with a sympathetic cringe as Celestia face planted against the deceptively sturdy mirror, then stumbled back, her eyes crossed and muzzle scrunched.

"That's really not good...why isn't the portal working?" Twilight squeaked as she began to feel the panic return, and rushed to Celestia's side, steadying her with a gentle hoof. "I'm so sorry, that should have worked. Are you ok?"

Celestia grimaced as she massaged her tender nose with a hoof. "I'm fine, I think." She sighed as realization sunk in. "This isn't just a dream is it?" Twilight just gave her a sad smile and shook her head slowly.

Meanwhile, Sunset had walked up to the mirror, staring at it pensively while pressing a hoof against the firm glass. "What could be wrong with it?" she muttered, looking it over. Her eyes landed on the heavily bound book sitting in a stand at the top of the frame. Remembering Twilight's explanation for how she had gotten the portal to re-open, a sudden pang of anxiety shot through her as she cast her eyes around the ground nearby, her fears confirmed as they landed on a cloth bag sitting half open on the floor. Sunset turned towards the two others in the room. "Hey Twilight, I think I figured out the problem," she called, gesturing towards the bag.

Twilight followed Sunset's hoof and spotted the bag, a heavy bound book poking from the top of it. She trotted over to the bag and fished the book from it with a hoof, turning it over to the front. The book was emblazoned with a fiery red and yellow sun, and looked to be a perfect match to the book sitting above the mirror. "If...if this is here then..."

"Then the portal has nowhere to lead to, at least until it opens on it's own again." Sunset confirmed in a defeated tone. "I'm sorry, I didn't even think about it, I always have it on me, so the girls and I can write to you, but I was in such a hurry to try and help..."

"It's not your fault," Twilight said with a comforting smile, trying to ease the distress showing in Sunset's expression. "I shouldn't have left the portal open, I should have known something like this could happen, it was irresponsible. I'm sure I can find a way to get it open again."

Sunset felt a bit better listening to Twilight's reassurances, even though she knew they were probably only meant to make her feel better, but something else was bothering her. A thought was hovering at the edge of her awareness, not fully grasped yet. It hit her like a rainbow laser to the face. "Wait, then I'm stuck here too," she sputtered, sounding like a prisoner who was just told they had a spot at the gallows the next morning.

"Well, yeah." Twilight giggled at the obvious thought, before noticing the haunted expression on Sunset's face.

"Twilight, I'm practically a fugitive here!" Sunset had planted herself on the floor, flinging both hooves over her head. "What will your friends do to me!? What will the Princesses do to me!? I need to hide, does this castle have a dungeon? Right, it's a castle, of course it has a dungeon! Twilight, can I hide in your dungeon?"

Twilight deadpanned, about to tell Sunset that as far as she knew, the castle did not in fact have a dungeon, and that even if it did, hiding a criminal in it seemed counter intuitive, but before she could, Celestia cut in.

"Um, Girls, before we get too far, could you take a moment to explain what you're talking about? Well, that and everything else I suppose? Now that I know this isn't a dream, and that I apparently may be here for a bit, I wouldn't mind knowing where here is...oh and why I'm a pretty little pony."

Twilight nodded, giving a hospitable smile and ignoring the slight sarcasm. "Of course, though it may take a while. We should find somewhere more comfortable than the middle of the library, please follow me." She turned to make for the door before realizing only one of them was following.

Sunset was busy still cowering on the floor and tuning out the rest of the world.

Twilight sighed and lit her horn, causing the yellow ball of terror to float up off the floor and hover gently behind her in a violet haze.

Celestia's jaw hit the floor as she watched Sunset fly across the room. "H-h-how did you do that!?" she stammered, pointing a hoof back and forth between the two.

Twilight's brows knit in question before remembering again the differences between each side of the mirror. "Oh, right, magic. Well...it'll make sense once I can explain." She left it at that and continued out of the room, leaving behind a still staring Celestia, who finally shook her head vigorously before following as quickly as she could manage.

As they entered an enormous hallway, Twilight stopped by a small side door and opened it just enough to stick her head through. "SPIKE! Can you please make some tea, enough for three. Well, four if you'd like some as well. We'll be in the large study."

"You mean the small parlor?" Came a young male voice.

Twilight frowned, trying to remember the convoluted floor plan she had attempted to draw up a few days before. "Um, whichever one is at the end of this hall, with the big chairs."

"Got it!" said the voice.

Celestia followed the conversation absentmindedly, distracted by the enormous and ornate hallway they had entered. She hadn't given it much thought when Sunset had said something about a castle, but now it made sense as she marveled at the grand crystal walls rising around them. "You live here?"

Twilight pulled her head back from the doorway. "Whuh? Oh, yes, though it's still a bit new to me, I used to just live in a tree," she explained nonchalantly, resuming her path towards the end of the hall.

"A tree?" Celestia muttered to herself, again shaking her head and following.

After a minute or so, they came to another doorway and passed inside to a medium sized room filled with overstuffed chairs, piles of cushions, and an assortment of coffee tables, all arranged haphazardly around a fireplace. Sunset, who had given up on cowering somewhere along the way and now looked a bit annoyed at being carried, was dropped unceremoniously into one chair as Twilight climbed into another, leaving one empty in between them.

Celestia didn't need an invitation to know the empty seat was for her, and made her way towards it. After a few seconds of hooves rapidly scuffling against the cushion, and some magical assistance, Celestia managed to haul herself into the chair. For a moment, she felt almost herself again as she sat back in the chair and looked up to the ceiling, much as she commonly did back in her office. She closed her eyes, reveling in the familiarity until she heard giggling. She opened one eye and looked sideways to see Twilight holding a hoof over her mouth, failing to stifle the laughter.

"I'm sorry, I haven't seen anypony besides Lyra sit like that, and the fact that it's you only makes it stranger."

Celestia blushed slightly, not even really sure why she felt embarrassed. She sat forward and pulled her legs in beneath her to emulate Twilight and Sunset's sitting positions. It did feel more comfortable this way, she noticed, even if it felt a bit alien. After settling in a bit, she turned back to Twilight. "So I guess that gives us as good a place as any to start. Why do you treat me like you know me, or at least know me better than I know you?"

"Ah, that," Twilight answered, reddening a bit from awkwardness herself. "Well let's start at the beginning. As I said, this is Equestria. It exists as sort of a parallel world to your own, only here we're all ponies, and there you're all...what was the word...hoomans?"

"Humans." Sunset piped in with a lopsided grin.

"Right, those." Twilight smiled thankfully. "Anyways, when a pony goes through the mirror, they come out a human, and I guess you've just proved the opposite holds true as well. As best I can tell, many ponies have an analog in the other world, though I'm unsure if that holds true for everypony or just a few. For example, Sunset and I have never seen our equivalents, though the Pinkie Pie in your world did mention seeing a human who looked similar to me once." She shrugged as she said it before continuing. "Your counterpart here is Princess Celestia, one of the leaders of Equestria. She was my teacher and practically raised me for many years. You look a bit different from her, and you're not an alicorn, but I can't help but treat you somewhat like I do her."

Celestia sat silently, trying to process all the new, and rather unbelievable information she'd just been given. She had several questions, and was about to start by asking what an alicorn was when she heard scuffling behind her chair.

"Tea is ready," came a familiar voice, accompanied by the gentle clinking of dishware.

Celestia turned to look around the back of her chair at the newcomer, and immediately jumped in fear, falling out of her chair with a high pitched girlish scream.

Spike just looked on with a bored frown, before moving to set the tray of tea on a nearby coffee table.

"IS THAT A GIANT LIZARD!?"

Author's Note

So, frankly, I am overwhelmed by the reaction to this story. Thank you all so much for the follows, the favorites, the ratings, and the comments. I never expected this to get the response it has and I can't tell you how much it means to me. I hope I can hold up to your expectations as it continues.

This update is finished sooner than I was planning, but with all the attention, I couldn't keep my hands off the keyboard. I hope you enjoy!

Part of me really wants to continue the trend of every chapter ending with Celestia screaming nonsense.

Thanks to Vanderblast for editing.

3: Twilight Explains It All

"Dragon." Spike responded flatly.

Celestia stared at the diminutive (though still enormous by her standards) reptile, eyes as wide as the small tea cup bearing saucers he was now distributing to Twilight and Sunset. It took a moment for her already exhausted brain to wake back up after being startled, but moments later it sputtered back to life like an aged automobile on its last legs. "I'm sorry what now?"

"I'm a dragon, not a lizard." He told her with an annoyed glance. He leaned in towards Twilight and whispered. "Who is she?"

"You don't recognize her? She doesn't seem a bit familiar?" Twilight whispered back with a hint of confusion and more than a bit of curiosity at how Spike saw her as a completely unfamiliar pony while she had been completely convinced she was the Princess at first.

While Spike hadn't minded fixing up some refreshments, the task had interrupted a crucial moment in his comic book, and he paid little attention to the two newcomers, eager to deliver the tea and get back to it. He merely shrugged. "I guess she smells kinda familiar, can't really place it though."

Twilight made a mental note to study the olfactory senses of dogs versus dragons next time she got a chance, though Spike had been both so who knew how that had messed with his scent based perceptions. "She's...a friend...she'll be visiting for a bit, same goes for Sunset." Twilight decided to leave it at that for now. He'd probably figure it out eventually.

"Oh, ok." Spike's demeanor changed immediately, having always stuck with the policy that any friend of Twilight's was a friend of his. He turned back around and walked over to the white unicorn, adopting a more friendly expression. "Would you like some tea?" He extended a clawed hand clutching a saucer and tea cup.

Celestia continued to stare, images of enormous flying serpents spouting gouts of flame dancing through her mind, before nodding mutely and extending her forelegs, stopping them just short of the offered dishware. Her face switched from awe to confusion as she examined the hooves at the end of the appendages.

Twilight noticed her hesitation and grimaced. "Um, Spike, you can just leave it on the table for her."

"You got it." Spike placed the tea down and began a casual waddle back towards the door. "I'll see you girls later, I have a comic to finish." He called back, lazily waving as he departed.

Twilight looked back to Celestia, still half laying on the floor, staring at where the dragon had just exited. "So that was Spike, he's my assistant, and sort of adopted little brother. I don't remember if you met him back in your world, though he was a dog then."

Celestia blinked heavily for a few moments before slowly struggling back up into the chair, her posture slumping as she settled back into it. "So first talking ponies and now dragons are real, how can this possibly not be a dream?" She said to no one in particular before a flash of stern anger flared in her eyes. "Wait, you brought a dog into my school!?"

Twilight cringed, remembering the strict no animals policy of the school that had been frequently and excessively ignored daily by Fluttershy. "Um, yes?"

The color drained from Celestia's face, which was impressive given her ivory fur, and the anger faded, being replaced by a frantic twitching in one eye. Just as Twilight began to fear she was about to either explode or pass out, she instead burst into a fit of tired giggles, bordering on hysteria.

Sunset and Twilight could only look on sympathetically as Celestia sat and lost her mind for a few minutes. Twilight was immediately reminded of her own little breakdown in front of the high school the first time she had used the portal, unaware that Sunset was also mentally reviewing her moment of blind panic a few years prior.

After a bit Celestia's bizarre laughter wound down, changing to deep breaths and light coughs as she brushed away a few tears of both mirth and despair from the corner of her eye with a fetlock. "I'm sorry, I think I'm ok now..." She paused, mentally reviewing what she had just said. "Well no, that's a lie, I'm really not...but I think I've calmed down at least," she admitted with a sigh. "Anyways, while I'm sure it won't do much to make me feel better, please continue Twilight, I think I'm still missing a few details."

Twilight hesitated momentarily, trying to think of something she could do to make things easier for the Principal turned pony, but it didn't take long to realize she was drawing a blank. Instead she just nodded, launching back into her explanation with an academic fervor only she could be capable of, intent on recounting everything about the mirror and the events surrounding it.

As Twilight went on, Celestia found herself only half listening. It was all very interesting of course, and the parts she did catch filled in a lot of missing pieces concerning the recent bizarre events at the school, but she couldn't help but be distracted by the cup of tea sitting next to her chair.

It smelled delicious, and a small voice in her head kept telling her how wonderfully soothing just one sip would be for her frazzled nerves. She had always been a big fan of tea, typically opting to start her days with some, rather than her sister's tactic of guzzling multiple pots of coffee through the morning. Much like sitting in the chair had been a breath of fresh air, the simple normalcy of the cup of tea demanded her attention, convincing her that if she could only drink some then everything would be ok.

She looked to her hooves again, scrutinizing them with a glare. In her mind, hooves plus tea cup was an equation that could only equal disaster with a side of boiling hot liquid everywhere, but the siren song of the rapidly cooling amber liquid was becoming irresistible. Doing her best to leave one ear open to Twilight and Sunset, she turned and hunched over the arm of her chair, getting as close to the cup as possible. Like a scientist trying to gingerly handle a volatile chemical, she methodically lowered her hooves to each side of the cup, then attempted to gently clamp it between them. She could barely contain her excitement as she lifted her hooves slowly and saw the cup lift with them. It was short lived however. Before making it even half an inch off the saucer, the cup slipped between her hooves and plopped back down, only a drop or two being knocked from within by the impact.

Celestia gave the cup a frustrated glare cold enough to freeze the blood of even the most delinquent of high school seniors, but the cup just sat there in response, mocking her. Determined to not let a porcelain container get the best of her, she kept at it, each time lifting the cup a bit higher, and each time spilling a bit more of the precious tea as it fell back down. Before long, the cup was only half full and Celestia had completely tuned out the other two ponies in the room. With brows angled and her tongue sticking out in concentration, she grasped at the cup once more, convinced she would finally succeed. Of course it was not to be, as her hooves missed the cup entirely and unceremoniously clopped together behind it.

Celestia closed her eyes sadly for a moment, before releasing a furious howl and throwing herself back in her chair and crossing her forelegs with a huff, looking for all the world like a petulant child. Her eyes still closed, she tried to calm herself by thinking happy thoughts, though her mind was still consumed by a lust for tea, so all she could come up with was the mental image of the insolent tea cup flying up to her lips on its own by way of apology. She smiled at the vivid mental image, leaning in to take a sip and imagining the wonderful taste of the slightly cold tea. Or not imagining it. Her eyes popped open with a start, surprised to see the tea cup floating gently at the tip of her muzzle, surrounded by a pale golden light.

"That's strange, shouldn't the cup be sitting back down on the table?" she thought to herself in a mild daze. As if acquiescing to her logic, the tea cup gently flew back down and gingerly set itself back on the saucer. As she had spent most of the day so far, Celestia just stared at the cup, until what sounded like vigorous applause drew her attention.

She looked up to see both Twilight and Sunset grinning at her and clapping their hooves together. Both of them had been watching her silently for a while now, having finished their story in the middle of her pitched battle.

"That's amazing, I was wondering what it'd be like to be a fully grown unicorn that doesn't know how to use her magic, but it looks like you're a natural." Twilight said with a grin. "Well either that or it has something to do with being tangentially related to the most powerful pony in existence..." she added, a hoof to her chin, before she grinned, an idea popping into her head. "I should really send you to see the Princess. I'm sure she could help you while you're stuck here, not to mention it'd give me time to look into reopening the portal, or at least time to figure out when it'll open itself again."

"Sounds like a good idea to me," Sunset added, a confident grin spreading across her face before she continued. "Between the two of us I'm sure we could get it open before she even gets back from Canterlot."

Twilight was also grinning, though hers was more mischief than confidence. "While I'm sure you're right, that sadly won't be an option, what with you escorting her to the castle and all."

Sunset gulped audibly. "You can't be serious! I'd be arrested on the spot! She'd banish me to another world where everybody is books, or rocks, or cardboard boxes, or something worse!"

Twilight drooled for a moment, her mind stuck on the notion of a land of sentient books, before she shook her head and turned back to Sunset. "I'm fairly sure the Princess doesn't have any other portals to parallel dimensions..." she paused "actually I'm not sure of that at all, but that's not the point. She is not going to have you arrested."

Sunset opened her mouth to protest further but was interrupted immediately.

"If you don't go I'll just teleport you there, and you can have fun explaining why you suddenly appeared in her private bathroom." Twilight told her flatly.

Sunset shut her mouth and hung her head with despair.

Celestia meanwhile was busy watching her cup float up and down off the table, a hint of a grin on her face.

Seeing that Sunset had given in, Twilight smiled as well. "I promise it won't be as bad as you think," she said encouragingly. "Alright girls, it's late, and we all have a busy day tomorrow, let's find you both some spare rooms and get some rest."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An hour of being completely lost later, Celestia finished saying goodnight to the two of them and watched Twilight lead Sunset to the guest room next door. She gently closed the door and began inspecting the room she had been given. It was small but cozy, featuring a bed packed with pillows and blankets, a well stocked bookshelf, a few more assorted pieces of furniture, and a full length mirror.

Celestia was tempted to immediately leap into the bed and put this stressful day behind her, but the mirror had already caught her attention. In all the craziness, she had yet to really get a good look at her new body, and her curiosity had gotten the better of her. Stepping in front of the mirror, she took a careful look at the unfamiliar animal reflecting back at her. Much like with Sunset and Twilight, she started to see small commonalities between the pony and her normal self, which was oddly reassuring in a way, just knowing she was still herself.

After a few minutes she turned to her side to continue the examination, but stopped as soon as she caught sight of her entire side in the mirror. Her jaw dropped as she focused in on the ornate, orange and gold sun adorning her backside, something she hadn't managed to get a good look at previously.

"THAT'S NOT WHERE THAT TATTOO IS SUPPOSED TO BE!"

Author's Note

I like the idea that human Celestia had a secret lower back tattoo, gives the impression of a rebellious phase in her youth or something.

Anyways, sorry this chapter took me a bit to publish, you can blame the PC release of GTAV...or the start of my 5th or so run through Bloodborne now that the collectors guide is out...

Thanks to Vanderblast for editing.

4: Sunset After Dark

Sunset couldn't help but giggle to herself quietly as she heard the shouted declaration from the room next-door. Unfortunately it wasn't enough to break through her dour mood. As the brief laughter subsided, a frown returned to her muzzle and she rolled over on the bed, curling into a ball and diving back into the many thoughts warring for her attention.

By far the loudest of these thoughts was a panicked voice urging her to get up, run blindly through the castle trying not to scream, and find a hiding place where none of the Princesses would ever find her. It was a tempting idea, and judging by how lost Twilight was in her own castle, not at all out of the realm of possibility.

Of course the second loudest voice in her head was telling her that doing so would be ridiculous. It went on to say she needed to be brave and finally face the consequences for her actions. It was a noble thought, and she was secretly very pleased that she had come so far in developing a proper moral compass. That being said, there was something about the thought of an angry and disappointed Princess Celestia that immediately drowned out the voice by flooding her veins with ice water.

Sunset groaned and rolled back onto her stomach, shoving her face into one of the many pillows covering the bed. She tried to focus on the pair of bickering thoughts, but no matter how much she attempted to let her anxieties over meeting with her old mentor take over, she couldn't ignore the third voice that kept whispering in her ear every time she thought she'd escaped it.

Seeing her as a pony did not help at all. If anything it's worse now.

Sunset groaned again. "Now is so not the time for this!" she chided herself, trying once again to banish the train of thought. Instead she found herself thinking back to the advice her friends had given her only a few days earlier.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sunset slid her lunch tray onto the table and fell into the unoccupied seat next to Fluttershy before resting her head in her hands and staring off into space with a drawn out sigh. Had she been paying any attention, she might have noticed all five of them had stopped talking and were now watching her intently.

"So...should we say something?" Applejack asked nervously. She hated prying into other people's business, but at this point all of them had noticed Sunset's strange behavior.

"...She doesn't seem...unhappy...I think? Maybe we should just let her be." Fluttershy added, equally uncomfortable with the thought of being nosy.

"She's been like this for weeks! It's getting kinda creepy. She's so out of it!" Rainbow Dash countered, gesturing to Pinkie Pie, who was busy making a plethora of strange faces at Sunset with little to no results, to emphasize her point.

"It is a bit out of character for her." Rarity pointed out.

"HEY SUNNY! Why ya actin so funny? HEY, THAT RHYMED!" Pinkie crowed, circumventing the discussion entirely and startling Sunset from her daydreams.

"Huh...wha?...oh sorry girls, I wasn't paying attention, what's going on?" Sunset asked, realizing all five of them were staring at her.

"That's what we're trying to find out." Rainbow snickered.

At this Sunset gave them a questioning look, wondering why their expressions had suddenly turned expectant.

After another moment of awkward silence, Rarity decided it was time to step in. "Ahem. Dear, what we're trying to say is you've been acting, well, somewhat unusual lately."

Sunset smiled nervously. "I don't think I know what you mean."

Rarity gave her an un-amused look before smiling indulgently. "Oh come now, the drawn out sighing, the long looks off into nowhere...it's almost as if..."

"Sunset, you're weirding us all out." Rainbow piped in, ignoring a pointed glare from Rarity.

"As. I. Was. Saying." Rarity continued through gritted teeth. "It's almost as if you have a special someone on your mind." Her eyes seemed to sparkle as she said it, a conspiratory grin crossing her lips.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Sunset responded far too quickly for her own good, and cringed at her own misstep.

"That's a lie if ah've ever heard one." Applejack chuckled, crossing her arms and grinning.

Rainbow sat up at hearing this, changing from an expression of detached boredom to one of curiosity. Pinkie leaned in closer as well, an enormous grin on her face, and even Fluttershy brushed her hair from her face to get a better look at her increasingly flustered friend.

"Alright, spill it, we're gonna find out eventually anyways." Rainbow demanded.

Sunset was sweating at this point, and drawing a blank when trying to think of options for escaping the conversation. "D-do I have to?" she stammered, a fierce blush spreading across her face.

Rainbow grinned at seeing her reaction. As much as Sunset had become one of her best friends, there was still something satisfying about watching the former Queen of the school squirm. "Oh relax Sunny, it's not gonna kill ya."

"You don't have to tell us anything if you aren't comfortable doing so." Fluttershy said with a friendly smile, putting a comforting hand on Sunset's shoulder.

The others all nodded along with Fluttershy's reassurance, though their hopeful expressions remained unchanged. The smell of gossip had affected them much like blood affects sharks, even if it was their friend's blood.

"Ugh, FINE!" Sunset threw up her arms in defeat, knowing even if she kept it to herself at this point, she'd eventually be pestered into giving in. "I...think I have a little bit of a crush on Twilight..."

The reactions came immediately. Pinkie's grin somehow grew larger, as did Rainbow's, more in reaction to victory than to the revelation itself, Applejack just looked a bit confused, Fluttershy blushed a bit herself, embarrassed for Sunset's sake, and Rarity looked practically giddy, a manic gleam in her eyes.

"You simply must tell her Darling!" Rarity practically shouted. "I'm sure she would return your affections! It's just too romantic, love across worlds!"

"Absolutely not." Sunset deadpanned. "I'm sure it's just a passing thing anyways, I think I only like her that way because she turned my life around. I mean, everything I have now is thanks to her." Sunset sighed and gave a small shrug. "Besides, like you said, she lives in a completely different world, what would be the point?"

"She has a point there Sugarcube." Applejack added, looking to Rarity. "The way ah see it, even if Twi felt the same, there's not much they could do about it." She turned back to Sunset and gave her an apologetic look. "Not to mention, doesn't Twi sorta have a thing for Flash?"

"Exactly!" Sunset surprised them all by seeming more relieved than hurt by Applejack's brutally honest take on the situation. "Trust me, I've been thinking on this for a while now. I just need to wait for this little infatuation to go away."

"Well that's kinda lame, but I guess you're probably right." Rainbow said as she leaned back in her chair, her attention span waning at the lack of drama.

Rarity just huffed, before relaxing a bit and giving Sunset a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry dear, I guess I just got a bit wound up. I'm sure you'll get over all of this soon enough."

"I hope so." Sunset sighed, though she gave them all an appreciative smile, feeling a bit better knowing her friends agreed with her.

Rarity put a hand to her chin contemplatively. "Well, you could always try convincing yourself you don't actually like her."

"I've been trying that for a while now." Sunset said with a roll of her eyes as she moved back into her position slumped over the table.

"Well how about this!" Rarity said, suddenly sitting up as an idea came to her. "A crush starts with attraction right? Well the Twilight we know doesn't normally look like that, she's usually a pony yes?"

Sunset nodded, not really following.

"Well then, how do you know you'd still be interested in her as a pony?" Rarity looked very pleased with herself as she said it.

"Yeah, I guess." Sunset admitted, shrugging again. "I mean I saw her as a pony when I went to steal the crown, and I didn't really care then, but it's not like I'm just going to go hop through the portal and check."

Rarity frowned. "That's not the point dear, it's more a thought exercise. If you don't like her as a pony, you don't like the real her, and therefore you're just attracted to her human form. From there it'll be simple to move past it." She nodded matter-o-factly.

"Yeah I guess that makes sense." Sunset smiled slightly at the thought. It hadn't completely convinced her, but it gave her some more hope that she was right in thinking it was all just a little crush and nothing more. "Thanks Rarity, that helps."

Any further advice from her friends would have to wait until later, as they were suddenly interrupted by the bell letting them know the lunch period had ended and it was time for their next classes. Together they all stood and headed towards the doors as Sunset slipped the few savable bits of her lunch into her bag for later, knowing she'd regret not eating.

The six of them pressed through the crowded halls together, eventually splitting off with a brief goodbye as they passed one of their lockers or classrooms. After a few minutes Sunset was alone and, surprisingly, she didn't find herself immediately slip back into thoughts of Twilight as she headed towards her locker.

It took her seconds to dial in the combination and fling the door open as she began exchanging various objects back and forth between the shelves inside and her bag. After another few moments, she was ready for her next class and was about to close the door when a heavily bound book at the bottom caught her eye.

She gave the magic diary a goofy smile as she realized she might have to write a somewhat cryptic letter in it later. Maybe something about being honest with your friends and appreciating their potential advice, or something along those lines. She knew Twilight always appreciated a good letter about friendship.

She chuckled lightly to herself and closed the door, heading back down the hall towards her classroom. As she went, she decided she should eventually take a minute to ask the rest of her friends for their thoughts on the situation. While Rarity's advice had certainly made a difference, she couldn't help but wonder if the rest of them had any input on the situation. Not to mention, there was a certain cathartic quality to finally talking about what had been stuck in her head for so long.

She turned a corner and found herself passing by the Principal's Office, which was just one hallway ahead of her classroom. She had plenty of time, and intended to enjoy a casual pace, until a furious yell rang out, almost causing her to drop the various books and supplies she was carrying. Recovering quickly, she scrambled as quickly as she could down the next hall and into her classroom.

"LUNA, WHAT THE HELL!? YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS EXTENDED VACATION CRAP!?"

Author's Note

So yeah, it's a SunLight story. It was gonna be Sunlestia, but every time I tried to make it work in my head, it just came out...creepy. There's still a possibility for romance for Celestia, but we'll cross that bridge as it comes.

Also, likely not gonna end most of the intermission chapters with Celestia yelling, but in this case I saw the opportunity and I just had to.

I hope you all enjoy it, next chapter will bring us back to our normal story.

Thanks to Vanderblast for editing.

5: Familiar Faces

Celestia growled as she awkwardly grabbed a pillow with her hooves and jammed it over her head. "Why do the birds here sound so damn cheery, it's not natural!" she muttered darkly, trying her hardest to drift back to sleep.

Sleep had been a much needed reprieve from her time in Equestria, giving her mind some time to just shut down and unwind. Admittedly, the resulting dreams had been a bit strange, or at least the pieces of them she could remember. She was fairly sure one of them had even featured a pony with a striking resemblance to her sister. Regardless of their content however, she was eager to return to the peace of sleep.

It was not to be however, as she heard a knock on the door. She groaned pitifully and lifted an edge of the pillow, casting her eyes towards the door. "Who is it?"

The door opened and Sunset peeked her head inside. "Um, Principal Celestia? Twilight says breakfast is ready."

Celestia grudgingly sat up, looking more war-weary than bedraggled, and gave Sunset a slight nod. "I suppose it would be rude to keep our generous host waiting," she said through a brief yawn, pulling herself off of the bed and trudging towards the door. "Do you know how to get to wherever we're supposed to go?" she asked, trying and failing to keep an edge of grumpiness out of her voice.

Sunset just nodded, gesturing behind her to a scroll pinned to the hallway wall with a large arrow drawn on it. "I'm not sure when she put them up but it seems like they keep going for a ways."

"Huh, she thinks of everything doesn't she?" Celestia mused as she took a brief look in the mirror, attempting to brush her hair into a presentable state with her hooves before quickly giving up and walking out into the hallway.

"You have no idea." Sunset responded with a chuckle as they began their trip to wherever it was the arrows were directing them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Twilight pushed the empty plate away from her with a contented sigh. "Alright girls, we should figure a few things out before I send you both off to Canterlot."

At this, Sunset gulped audibly, while Celestia paused in trying to aim a clumsily levitating pancake at her mouth.

Seeing she had their attention, Twilight continued. "I've sent a letter ahead letting the Princesses know they should be expecting visitors, but I tried to keep things vague so as not to start any sort of undue panic." She turned to look at Celestia. "That in mind, I think we should probably disguise you a little bit so you don't freak anypony out at the palace, at least until you get a chance to meet with the Princesses. I'm not really sure how the guards would react to an apparent pretender to the throne waltzing through the halls."

"That makes sense I suppose." Celestia agreed with a grimace. It was already pretty taxing being stuck in another body, in another world. The last thing she wanted was to be stuck in a jail cell, in another body, in another world.

"I went to see my friend Rarity earlier this morning and she was kind enough to throw this together for me, it should at least let you keep a low profile walking through the palace." Twilight said as she stood and walked over to a plain box on a nearby table. She opened the lid with her magic and out levitated a simple but pleasant looking cloak made of bright white fabric. After a moment the garment drifted across the room and gently settled over Celestia's shoulder.

Celestia held up an edge of the cloth, taking a closer looks. "Your friend made this? Today? With hooves?" she asked incredulously.

"Oh she's very good at what she does." Twilight answered with a nod and a smile, enjoying the brief swell of pride she felt for Rarity.

Celestia just shrugged. "Fair enough, it's not like questioning anything at this point gets me anywhere, I'll have to meet her sometime so I can thank her." She gave a small smile herself as she realized just how comfortable the cloak was. "At least if there's time before the mirror is fixed," she added hopefully, doing her best to keep telling herself she'd be going home soon enough.

"It's a good thing we're somewhat similar in shape, I wouldn't have been able to stand in for your sizing before I became an alicorn." Twilight admitted sheepishly. "I just told her it was for me, seemed easier...though she certainly didn't hesitate to tell me how much the color clashed with my coat." she added grudgingly.

Sunset was tempted to tell Twilight she probably looked wonderful in it, but managed to stop herself by shoving a pancake in her mouth.

"Anyways, I'm ready to teleport you two to the palace gates as soon as you are done with your breakfasts." Twilight said as she mentally reviewed the long range teleportation spell she'd been perfecting since late last night.

"Might as well get this over with." Sunset grumbled after swallowing the mouthful of pancake. While she still dreaded her reunion with Princess Celestia, she had resigned herself to her fate. "I'll be sure to write from my cell, or banishment, or whatever." she added with a huff as she stood up from the table they'd been sharing.

Celestia gave her half eaten breakfast a pensive glance before standing. "I think I'm ready as well.". As an after thought, a blueberry launched itself from a nearby bowl, hurtled on by a golden glow, and landed in her mouth. She had been getting sort of good with levitating small things at least. It really was amazing how naturally it seemed to come to her.

Twilight shot an impatient glance at Celestia. "Are you done?"

A handful of blueberries flew by, landing near perfectly in Celestia's waiting mouth. "Yesh," she replied guiltily around the mouthful.

Twilight rolled her eyes before positioning the two next to each other and began casting the spell that, with any luck, would leave them standing right outside the front gate of the Canterlot Palace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While a bit jarring, the experience of teleportation hadn't been entirely unpleasant. It mostly felt like standing still while hundreds of unidentifiable objects whizzed past. Celestia opened her eyes and blinked blearily for a few moments as the world came into focus.

Before her sat a gleaming white castle, with spires and towers jutting haphazardly from every angle. While imposing, there was also a certain welcoming feeling to the towering structure, impeded only by a set of golden gates with an armored guard at its sides.

"That is one hell of a home." Celestia couldn't help but comment as she pulled the hood up on her new cloak, trying to get it to sit comfortably over her horn.

"It certainly used to be," Sunset said with a sad sigh. "Come on, we should probably let the guards know why we're just loitering out front." She began trotting towards the gates with Celestia in tow. As they neared, the pair of guards shifted inwards, blocking any chance of passing.

"Halt! In the name of The Sisters, identify yourselves!" One of the pair called in an overly official tone, pointing a forehoof out at them.

"We've been sent by Princess Twilight Sparkle to meet with the Princesses, we are expected." Sunset replied, matching the authority of the guard's voice.

The guard who hadn't spoken pulled a scroll from under his wing and began to briefly peruse the contents before giving his partner a brief nod. The pair immediately split apart, heading to their original positions while grabbing and opening the gate as they went. "Welcome to Canterlot Palace," they said in unison before resuming a stoic silence.

Sunset walked casually through the open gate while Celestia followed a few steps behind, her head swinging left and right as she tried to take in more details of the palace while still keeping her hood in place.

"This place is nuts! Every time I think I'm ready to accept all that's going on, I find something else torn straight from a storybook. I mean come on, princesses in castles? Really? Twilight's place was one thing but this, this is a whole new level! Tolkien would have eaten his hat!" Celestia babbled, looking back and forth at the various pieces of art that lined the walls of the hallway they were currently making their way down.

"I specifically remember being surprised when I found out that you didn't live in a castle." Sunset replied with a chuckle."Finding a Celestia that lived in small cottage in a suburb was pretty weird."

Celestia's brows narrowed. "How do you know where I live?"

"Um, uh, it's just common knowledge!" Sunset stammered. "Definitely not because I used to egg it every year on Halloween!"

"Well, you can just come over the day after Halloween and de-egg it this year." Celestia said with a scowl.

"I wasn't gonna do it this year, I've changed!" Sunset shot back, almost pleadingly.

"That's not the..." The words dropped from Celestia's train of thought as they turned a corner and came face-to-face with the largest door she'd ever seen.

The door was made of dark wood and stretched all the way up to the spacious ceiling and adorning the face of it were an ornate sun and moon. Sunset walked up to it and rapped a hoof gently against the surface.

Almost immediately, the door began to open, seemingly of its own accord. As it parted, Celestia caught sight of a wide open room made mostly of white marble, with a large raised dais at the far end. Atop the dais was a pile of cushions, and atop those was a large, white pony, smiling serenely while looking over a scroll.

This time Celestia took the lead in walking into the room, while Sunset hesitated near the opening, suddenly trembling. "She'sgonnakillme,she'sgonnakillme,she'ssogonnakillme..." she muttered under her breath, finally taking a few steps into the room.

In a matter of moments, both of them were standing only a few feet from the dais, trying to ignore the awkward silence as they waited for the alicorn to finish reading. After another few moments that felt much longer, Princess Celestia rolled up the scroll and placed it to the side.

"I'm sorry about that, Twilight told me you were coming but I still had a few things I couldn't reschedule. Now, how can I h..." she asked as she finally glanced up at the pair of them before freezing completely as she saw Sunset, her deep pink eyes widening and her jaw going slack.

The room had suddenly become unbearably silent for Sunset and time seemed to stretch even further than it had while they waited to be addressed. It took everything she had to not slam her eyes shut, bolt from the room, and not stop running until she found a place that had never even heard of pony princesses. After another year long second she opened her mouth, hoping to apologize, but instead she just squeaked a barely audible "hi".

The Princess blinked a few times, seeming to be stuck in shock, but eventually snapped out of it enough to say something herself. "S-Sunset? Is it really you?"

Sunset was sorely tempted to say no, but despite everything she still couldn't bring herself to lie to her old teacher. Instead she just nodded, staring at the ground and wishing she could disappear. Suddenly a pair of great white wings swept around her, scooping her into a hug that could crush an Ursa.

"It is you! Thank the stars!" Princess Celestia gushed, her normally calm demeanor cast completely aside. "You're here and you're safe! I can't tell you how happy I am to see you my little pony!"

Celestia couldn't help but smirk a bit as she watched her giant doppelganger assault the little yellow unicorn. 'This is really weird, but still pretty funny,' she thought as she pulled down her hood, figuring the need for anonymity had passed. As she did, the sound of hooves on marble caught her attention, and she looked to the side to see a large but strangely familiar dark blue pony staring at her.

"By Celestia's beard, is that a tiny Tia?...IT IS!!!" Luna shrieked in glee before charging the unicorn and tackling her in a hug similar to the one her sister was still crushing Sunset with.

"LUNA!? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

Author's Note

Wow, we are over 1000 ratings, and that is nuts! I gotta think of some way to thank you guys!

This chapter brings us back to our less shippy story, and I hope all of you who were not fans of the last one will still enjoy this one. Things are getting interesting and I'm pretty excited to start in on the next one :pinkiecrazy: Anyways, it's Friday, so I'm off to pour unhealthy quantities of beer into my face, have a good weekend!

Thanks to Vanderblast for editing.

7: Back to Ponyville

Celestia stepped off of the obnoxiously colorful train and out onto the platform, letting out a massive yawn that she'd been holding back since an attendant had woken her up from the very pleasant nap she'd been having on-board. She glanced up at the sky, noticing dusk had swept in while she had slept. She gave a tired sigh and began walking towards the massive crystal object looming over the rest of the town. She had never seen Twilight's palace from the outside, but she would have bet a year's salary that the enormous structure had to be it.

All in all, her trip to meet her princess self had been far less helpful than she had dared to hope, though it had strangely made her feel much more accepting of the whole strange predicament. She knew she should be concerned that even a royal goddess couldn't help her to find a way home, but something about spending time with the Princess had managed to make her feel like no matter what, everything would be ok in the long run.

Much of their meeting had been spent just chatting of nothing important, enjoying ridiculously good tea, and finding commonalities in each other that neither should have been surprised by. Eventually, the Princess had been called away to attend to some duty or other, and left Celestia with a guard to escort her to the train back to Ponyville. She also assured her that Sunset would likely catch up whenever she and Princess Luna finished whatever it was they were off doing together.

She had left with a reassuring smile, a smile that had conveyed the same advice she had provided earlier, that Celestia should just lighten up and try to enjoy herself. She wasn't sure she was quite there yet of course. Just outright accepting everything that had happened at face value and vacationing as a horse was a tall order for her, but at least now the sense of impending doom had subsided.

This train of thought ended as she found herself already standing outside of a massive golden doorway set into the base of what looked like a crystal tree trunk. "This place is a little ridiculous..." She muttered to herself as she followed the trunk upwards to get a look at the palace itself. With a small shrug she trotted up to the door and gave it a few firm knocks with her hoof, an appendage she had to admit was absolutely ideal for knocking on doors.

It took a few minutes, but eventually she heard a scuffling, scratching noise somewhere beyond the door, just before it creaked open a bit and a reptilian head popped out. "Hello? Oh it's you, hi there! Twilight told me you and Sunset had gone to Canterlot but she never mentioned when you might be back." Spike said in a friendly tone, pushing the door open properly. "Come on in."

Celestia nodded while trying to suppress an involuntary gasp of surprise, still not totally comfortable with the concept of real live dragons. As much as it unsettled her, he seemed friendly enough, and she hadn't exactly left the best impression the first time they had met. After taking a moment to regain control of all of her faculties, she realized Spike had already turned around and was headed up a massive spiral staircase, so she hurried to catch up to him, pulling the door closed behind her with a bit of magic.

Spike glanced back over his shoulder as she approached, moving to the side so she could continue up the stairs next to him. "So, I never did catch your name," he said curiously.

Celestia gave him a sidelong glance, biting her lower lip pensively, trying to come up with a suitable answer for the little dragon. Keeping her identity from him likely wouldn't accomplish much, and it wasn't as though she had a reason not to trust him, but something just felt wrong about it. After meeting the Princess, she didn't really feel worthy of giving anyone the impression that she was at all connected to the kind goddess. Trying not to take too long to answer, she immediately jumped at the last thing anyone had called her besides her full name.

"My name is Tia," she said, while internally slapping a hand to her face. Euuuugh what am I doing, I HATE that nickname! Damnit Luna, how is it even the alternate dimension version of you manages to mess with me without even trying? she thought to herself, trying to keep an internal frown of defeat from infecting the friendly look she was trying to give Spike.

"Well it's nice to meet you Tia!" Spike responded enthusiastically. "I'm Spike, though you already knew that." he went on, giving her a goofy grin. "Oh, watch out, almost to the top of the stairs. Gotta pay attention or you might not realize the steps have ended, then you step too high, then you lose your balance...then it's a long way down..." he warned with a grimace, rubbing at the back of his head as if to soothe a nonexistant bruise.

"I'll be sure to be extra cautious." Celestia said with a quiet giggle as she tried not to imagine the poor little guy bouncing down the massive staircase. He must be near indestructible if all he got was a few bumps and bruises... she mused to herself, somewhat impressed as she heeded his warning and stepped carefully up onto the "ground" floor of the palace, though being on four legs made any sort of falling backwards a bit less of an issue.

As Spike started to make his way towards the opening to an unfamiliar hallway, Celestia looked around and realized she had no idea how to get to any of the rooms she was even slightly acquainted with. "Um, Spike? Can you tell me where I can find Twilight? I should probably tell her how my meeting with the Princess went."

Spike stopped walking before turning back to look at her, putting a hand to his chin pensively. "Hmmm, I don't remember why, but I think she said she was headed up to her bedroom, I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you went up there to meet her."

Celestia nodded, then glanced at the various hallways branching off from the staircase landing. "Uh, I don't suppose you could give me some directions? This place is huge, and I don't really know my way around it yet."

"Yeah, you and Twilight both," he scoffed, chuckling brightly. "Lemme grab a scroll so I can write down the directions..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After what felt like hours but was likely maybe 15 minutes, Celestia came to the top of the final staircase that lead to the general sleeping chambers area of the Palace. She sat at the top of the stairs for a moment, catching her breath. "This is why I had my office put on the first floor of the school," she groused, before standing back up and heading down the hallway.

She passed her own guest room first, then Sunset's, and just a little ways further down the hall, she came to a much larger door with Twilight's butt tattoo thing carved into it. "This must be it..." she muttered to herself, reaching up and giving the door a good few raps. "Twilight? Are you in there?" she called, but there was no answer. "Twilight?" she called again before giving the door a harder tap. She still got no response, but the door quietly swung itself halfway open from the force of her knocking.

Not realizing she had pushed the door open herself, and assuming Twilight had opened the door with her magic or something, Celestia trotted into the spacious master bedroom and looked around for any sign of purple. "Twilight? Are you in here?" she asked the seemingly empty room, then waited for a response. As silence descended, she could finally hear the faint sound of running water coming from a door off to the side of the room.

"Ah, she must be in here," she mumbled to herself, walking over to the door and pushing it open. Behind the door was a large bathroom, befitting being attached to the equally large bedroom. It was adorned with various crystalline fixtures and furnishings, and in the back, in what looked to be a combination shower/jacuzzi tub, was Princess Twilight Sparkle, standing beneath a jet of water and levitating a loofah sponge over her back.

"Oh, there you are Twilight, I'm back from..." Celestia began.

Upon hearing a voice, Twilight's eyes snapped open and immediately fixed on Celestia with a thousand yard stare. "...WHAT THE BUCK ARE YOU DOING IN HERE!?" she howled, immediately exchanging the sponge for a towel, which she fumbled to cover herself with in a panic.

"I-I-I just wanted to let you know I was back!" Celestia stuttered, the panic in Twilight's voice causing her to suddenly feel on edge as well.

"Why would you come in here!? I'm. In. The. Shower! GET OUT!" Twilight shouted, shrinking into the corner of the tub, as if trying to disappear.

"I don't understand, what's wrong?" Celestia pleaded, feeling as if she had just sprung some kind of bizarre trap and they were both about to be pounced by some sort of bathroom monster.

"I'm naked!" Twilight hissed.

Celestia's expression switched immediately from panicked to utterly baffled. "Twilight, you're always naked. Since I got here, everyone has always been naked," she deadpanned.

"THIS IS DIFFERENT!" Twilight growled. "Do you just walk in on people in the shower where you come from?!"

"That's not the same thing." Celestia scoffed.

"IT'S TOTALLY THE SAME THING! GET! OUT!"

Celestia was suddenly hit with the feeling of weightlessness as pinkish-purple light picked her up and deposited her outside the bathroom, then the same light slammed the door in front of her. She frowned at it for a moment before leaning forward to speak through the keyhole. "I'm sorry!" she whimpered, hoping she hadn't offended one of her only friends in this crazy place too badly.

"Ugh...I...I'm not mad, just...look just don't worry about it, I'll come find you when I'm finished in here." Came Twilight's voice back through the door, definitely not sounding "not mad".

"Ok..." Celestia answered meekly. "I'll be in my room, whenever you're ready..." she added, deciding it'd be best to leave the irritated alicorn be.

A moment later she stepped into her own bedroom, still trying to shake off a feeling of embarrassment and guilt that she couldn't properly justify. "I just don't get it..." she whispered to herself, casting her eyes around the room for something to do while she waited for Twilight. Her gaze landed on the open door to the bathroom. "When in Rome I suppose..." she said with a shrug, grabbing a large and fluffy towel from a cabinet and making a beeline for the shower.

It took a moment to figure out using the taps with a set of hooves, but before long Celestia was stepping underneath the blast of perfectly warm water, giving a long sigh as she relaxed almost immediately. She stood almost completely still like that for close to ten minutes, just enjoying the calm.

Her reverie didn't last however, as she was interrupted by the sound of the door to her room opening.

"Celestia? Are you here?" came Twilight's voice, just as Celestia realized she had never closed the door to the bathroom.

Celestia's eyes snapped open and immediately fixed on Twilight with a thousand yard stare, who was standing in the middle of the bedroom, staring back through the bathroom door, her mouth slightly agape and a deep blush on her face.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, now I get it... Celestia thought to herself.

"COULD YOU CLOSE THE DOOR FOR ME PLEASE!?"

Author's Note

Phew, this one took way too long to get posted. Sorry about the wait folks, had a bit of trouble getting back into my groove as a writer after being away for a bit, but I think it's all fixed now, and I'm extremely happy with how this chapter turned out! I hope you all enjoy it!

Thanks to Vanderblast for editing.

8: Big Trouble in Little Canterlot

In a quiet little hallway in Canterlot Castle, nothing was happening. Nothing had been happening there for awhile, with no one but the occasional guard or servant passing through. Had the hallway been capable of having an opinion on the matter, it might have felt somewhat sad and neglected by this, however, it didn't, as it was a hallway. Really though, it was a moot point, as a door at the far end suddenly burst open in a flair of magic, revealing a pair of ponies trying and failing to stifle a great deal of laughter.

The pair practically bounced their way to the center of the hallway, with a large ball of multi-colored cloth objects floating in tow behind each of them. Taking a deep breath to try and quash her laughing fit, Luna surveyed the hallway pensively before turning back to face Sunset. "As far as I'm aware, this is the least used passage in the entire castle, so if we do it here, it should be awhile before anyone notices," she explained, a malevolent grin slowly growing on her face. "You take the left side, and I'll do the right, oh and remember to save the especially risque ones, we'll be needing those later!" Sunset nodded dutifully, giving Luna a sharp salute, causing the Princess to giggle. "With such a crisp salute, you should have joined the Guard rather than becoming my sister's protege," she teased.

Sunset brought a hoof to her chin, her head tilting slightly, as if deep in thought, before shrugging. "Nah, I'm not sure I could pull off the helmet," she said with a lopsided grin, "too much hair."

With that the pair set to work, pulling socks of various shapes, sizes, and colors from their individual piles and artfully placing them around the hallway. A suit of armor found itself with four mismatched socks over it's armored shoes, while a different set now had a helmet plume made up of several different shades of red sock. A nearly priceless painting, now framed by socks, a golden candelabra, now a golden sockelabra, a potted plant, now potted socks.

Before long, they had finished their task, and stood at the opposite end of the hall from where they had entered, surveying their work. "I like what you did with that statue, the sock works much better than that leaf did." Sunset complimented, giving an expression similar to a member of the Canterlot Elite appraising a glass of wine.

"Why thank you, though it pales in comparison to your work dear Sunset. Recreating stained glass with overly starched socks was simply inspired." Luna responded, flawlessly imitating the various art critics she had met in the past.

The two sat on their haunches for a few more minutes, just looking over all they had accomplished, but eventually their facades shattered and they collapsed into a pile of snorts and giggles. "We...we need...t-t-to get out of the castle...right now!" Luna managed to gasp between bursts of laughter. Sunset could only nod.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After stashing their remaining sock supply in the Royal Gardens, Sunset and Luna had headed for the city itself. The trip had taken them a little more time than expected, having to stick to back alleys and lesser used streets in order to avoid extra attention, but eventually they found themselves standing before a building that Luna claimed was the most important in the entire city after the castle itself, Donut Joe's.

"...A donut shop?" Sunset asked with a rather baffled look. "Luna, I'm sot sure understand the significance," she admitted, giving her newest friend a questioning glance and rubbing the back of her neck somewhat awkwardly.

For her part, Luna just stared up at the sign hanging over the shop's door with an enormous smile, the sort of smile you'd only expect from a foal opening birthday presents. "Indeed, a twenty-four hour donut shop," she explained reverently, "one that just so happens to make the strongest coffee legally permitted in Equestria...and yes, before you ask, my sister did not deem it necessary to regulate such things until I returned and learned what coffee was..." she admitted with a roll of her eyes. "Anyways, this place is practically a shrine to the glory of the night!"

"If you say so, though a cup of coffee would be nice." Sunset conceded with a tired sigh. "It has been a very long day so far, even with all the fun we've been having."

Luna smiled and used her magic to pull open the door. "Wonderful, well then, beauty before age," she said gesturing towards the door. It was a phrase she had heard recently and quite liked the sound of, especially considering her age. Of course, she didn't fully understand the connotation, but nobody had yet attempted to explain it to her.

Sunset however, had no idea about any of this, and as such held her head down to conceal the very confused blush on her face as she passed through the door and into the brightly lit donut shop, Luna following close behind.

Almost immediately, a large, tan colored pony behind the counter perked up, giving the two a knowing smile. "Well wouldja look at that, a real live Princess, in my shop...for the 10th time this week," he joked, giving Luna a wink.

"Oh fie to thee, pastry monger! Cease thine oafish mocking and bring your Princess tribute!" Luna shouted, despite a similar smile spreading across her face as she scampered up to the counter and onto a well worn stool. While Luna had nearly mastered the modern dialect of Equestria by this point, she had learned much of it while sitting at that very counter, and bantering with Joe using her old tongue had become something of an in-joke between them.

Sunset approached the counter and took the seat next to Luna's just as Joe returned, placing a large mug of steaming coffee and a navy and white frosted donut down in front of the Princess before turning to Sunset. "And what can I get for you miss?"

Sunset glanced at the menu, but not before catching a whiff of the coffee that Luna had ordered, a scent which immediately caused her to give a reflexive happy sigh. "I think I'll have what she's having, please."

Joe gave her a disbelieving look, one brow raised high above the other. "You sure miss? That coffee ain't exactly norm..."

"This fine lady can have anything her heart might desire, including your head on a pike you insolent whelp, so sayeth the Princess!" Proclaimed Luna in mock fury, before grinning toothily at Joe.

Joe gave a sigh before rolling his eyes with a grin. "Yes, oh yes, anything for your radiant and glorious Majesty and esteemed guest," he quipped sarcastically, before returning to the kitchen.

While she had no idea what was going on, Sunset couldn't help but giggle merrily at the pair's antics. "You certainly have an interesting rapport with owner."

"Ah yes," Luna nodded, a look of amusement on her face. "His name is Joe, and he is very precious to me. He is one of my very few true friends," she explained wistfully, before once again wrapping a wing around Sunset for a quick hug. "Though I suppose it is not quite so few anymore now."

Sunset found herself leaning into the brief contact, the hug ending just as Joe returned with a mug and a small plate bearing a donut covered in spiking patterns of gold and red frosting. "Here you are, one personalized donut, and a cup of Princess Luna's Up All Night Staring At The Moon™ blend."

Sunset looked curiously from Joe to the cup and back again. "Is...is that really what it's called?"

Joe nodded. "She kept swooping in, middle of the night, and drinking me out of all my strongest coffee. No one would ever say anything of course, but I could tell it was getting to some of my more caffeine dependent regulars in the morning. Seemed natural to look into getting some stronger stuff, see if I could get her down to just a cup or two," he explained, seeming to enjoy recounting the tale of Luna's custom coffee.

"Of course, I first tried asking Twilight Sparkle, cause that silly mare must have experimented with super coffee at some point right? Even before she got her wings." At that point he got a brief nostalgic smile, thinking of one of his other favorite customers, before returning to his story. "Turns out Twilight does have her own special coffee, but she figured it still wouldn't have been strong enough for Princess Insomnia over here..." At that Luna shot him a quick glare over the rim of her cup, which she had been slurping happily from for the past few minutes. Joe responded with a smug grin.

"So from there, Twilight introduced me to a Zebra friend of hers, Zecora, some kinda apothecary or something, lives out in the Everfree of all places. Nice lady though, long as you can get past the constant rhyming...anyways I'm gettin off track here. I explain to her my problem, and she whips me up a cup of coffee. Smells great, but otherwise it doesn't seem any different from my normal stuff at a glance. She, in not so few words, tells me to just shut up and taste it, so I do. Next thing I know, I haven't slept in three nights, I've repainted the shop, reupholstered all the booths and stools, and come up with fourteen new donut recipes...and then I slept for four days." With that Joe gave Sunset's mug of seemingly normal coffee a mistrustful glare. "Needless to say Miss Zecora gets very well compensated for one small bag of it every week, and I never touch the stuff."

Sunset too now was staring at the mug in front of her, a look of vague horror in her eyes. "A-are you serious? That can't possibly be true, right?"

Luna gave Sunset a cat-like smile, prodding the mug a bit closer towards her. "You could always give it a taste and find out," she suggested with mock innocence, causing Joe to grimace and Sunset to get even more nervous.

"Um....M-Mr. Joe, I think I'll just have a regular coffee instead...decaf..." Sunset said meekly after trying and failing to stare down the monster coffee.

"You got it kid!" Joe quickly turned around and shuffled back towards the kitchen, visibly shaking with poorly repressed snickering, much to Sunset's confusion.

Just as Joe disappeared, a blue hoof reached over and snapped up Sunset's mug from the counter in front of her, causing Sunset to look beside her and see that Luna was also trying to hold back laughter as she began drinking what was formerly Sunset's coffee. "AUUUUUUUUGH! You guys were totally messing with me weren't you!?" Sunset groaned.

At that, the quiet snickering drifting from the kitchen broke into full blown laughter, joined by the hearty chuckling of the alicorn next to her. "I can't believe I fell for all that so easily! It was so ridiculous!" Sunset fumed. "Gimme that!" She snatched the mug and took a quick sip, turning to give Luna a smug grin. As she turned however, she realized Luna's expression had changed from amusement to absolute shock, bordering on panic.

"Sunset...just because we were using the story to play a joke on you...doesn't mean it wasn't true..." Luna whispered worriedly.

"You...you're joking again...right?" Sunset whimpered, already feeling a strange rush coming on.

"JOE, GET THE EMERGENCY SLEEPY-TIME-TEA, STAT!!!"

Author's Note

This chapter took me a really long time to figure out what was gonna happen in it, and then it turned into like an 800 word monologue about coffee from Donut Joe so...enjoy?

There will be further Luna and Sunset chapters I've decided, one wasn't enough.

Thanks to Vanderblast for editing.

9: Ups and Downs

Sunset felt like she was literally on fire. She looked like it too, her red and gold hair shooting off her head in twisting spikes and cowlicks from nervously running her hooves through it over and over again, mixed with the non-stop sheen of sweat that had clung to her since she took a sip of that Faust-forsaken coffee. She rocked gently back and forth on her stool, clutching her mug of extra strength sleepy-time-tea, trying very hard not to squeeze it too hard and shatter it like the previous two she'd been handed. Shakily, with more of it ending up on her coat than in her mouth, she managed to take a small sip while staring fixedly at a nearby wall clock.

Luna on the other hand, was staring at Sunset, a grimace creasing her face. "This is bad Joe, what do we do? What do we do!?" she whimpered, wracking her brain for any ideas. "If my sister finds out I pretty much poisoned one of her Proteges as a joke, it'll be back to the moon for sure! Oh and not to mention, I think she's pretty much my best friend. I made a best friend, and then I killed her, killed her Joe!" she moaned, grabbing Joe by the collar of his apron and shaking him back and forth.

Joe was content to let her finish marehandling him before lazily rolling the cigarette he had just lit between his teeth and pulling a sheet of paper from beneath the counter. There was a protocol to these kinds of situations.

Politely show other patrons out of shop - check
Lock all doors and windows - check
Administer soothing teas - check
Clean up mug shards - check
Find secret pack of cigarettes your wife doesn't know you still have - check
Chain smoke until all is well again - in progress
Thank Twilight again for making and laminating this checklist - TBC

After reviewing the list he took a long drag from the cigarette, sighing as he exhaled. "Try not to worry too much Princess. It's never killed anyone before. She hasn't even gone into shock or a coma, so I think we are pretty much in the clear." he soothed while laying a hoof on Luna's shoulder, his calm tone a strange contrast to what he was actually saying.

"You really think she'll be ok?" Luna asked hopefully.

"I think I finally understand string theory properly..." Sunset muttered, still staring unblinkingly at the clock.

Luna's eye twitched.

Joe sighed again, pinching the bridge of his snout with a hoof. "Look, the way I see it, you've got two options. The first, we keep her here for a bit, until we get enough tea into her that it's safe to cart her back to the castle, then you lock her in a guest room for a couple days to sleep it off. She'll probably be bored out of her mind and hate every minute of it, but you know she'll be safe. The other option is....well..." Joe hesitated, figuring what he was about to say wasn't exactly a good idea medically, but then again this was a Princess he was talking to, she'd be responsible, right? "...so she's chock full of stimulants right? A lot of them. The way I see it, put enough depressants in her, and I figure it'll counteract the effects...maybe..." he finished with a shrug.

Luna bit her lower lip as she frantically tried to process both of Joe's suggestions. She would be safe in the castle, but she'd probably hate me for locking her up, and you of all ponies know what that's like...but would force feeding her drugs really be better? Even if she didn't get mad about that it wouldn't exactly be safe... What could I even give her? Depressants, depressants, let's see here...

Barbiturates? Terrible idea...

Opiates? Worse idea...

Cannabis? Too hard to find in Equestria...

Wait a minute...

Her eyes widened as she realized the perfect solution. She could save her new friend from the awful side effects of her poorly thought out prank, and maybe even have some fun together in the process. "Joe! Where's the nearest bar?"

Author's note: This is not how drugs actually work, like at all. Please do not attempt this.

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On one hoof, Sunset was feeling much better now, on the other, she was also feeling fairly drunk as she tossed back yet another shot, placing the empty glass back on the table next to its five similarly empty friends. She let out a satisfied sigh, a dopey smile drifting across her muzzle. "What did you say these were again?" she slurred, struggling to focus her vision across the table onto Luna.

Luna finished taking a dainty sip from the tall, colorful drink in front of her before fixing Sunset with a mischievous grin. "Something that will hopefully get you back to normal...and one of the only substances capable of getting Tia properly drunk, but that's beside the point."

Sunset giggled in response, wobbling a bit in her seat. "If the goal was for me to feel normal then I probably should have stopped after the first two!" she bubbled, before slumping forward onto the table and closing her eyes, a happy smile still plastered on her face.

Luna took the opportunity to silently cheer and pump a hoof in the air. "I can't believe she's asleep!" she whispered to herself excitedly. Getting this far hadn't been the smoothest process. Luna got enough looks when walking down the street as it was, and levitating a pony behind her in a straight-jacket made of what was clearly Luna's own magic hadn't really helped matters. "I think I deserve a little reward..." she continued to whisper as she scooped up one of the few unfinished shots from the tray next to them. Luna had made sure plenty were on hand, figuring the little unicorn had to pass out eventually. With a victorious grin, she quickly poured the tiny dose of alcohol into her mouth.

At that same moment, Sunset's eyes shot open and she grabbed onto one of Luna's hooves. "LUNA! I need your advice!"

To her credit, while she came very close to unintentionally spitting the shot she had just taken all over Sunset's face, Luna instead managed to forcefully swallow the now burning liquid before giving a slightly exaggerated gag. Recovering quickly and shoving aside her disappointment that Sunset was not in fact safely passed out, she let her curiosity take over. "I'd be happy to help if I can, what's the matter?"

"Well it's...I...I..." It was fairly apparent that Sunset was stammering from something besides inebriation, as her cheeks changed from the light pink of several drinks to the bright red of flustered embarrassment. She wasn't really quite sure why she felt compelled to tell Luna, but advice from her other friends hadn't really helped much, so maybe it was time for a new perspective. "...I have a crush on somepony!"

Luna nodded slowly, not really sure if she was supposed to be surprised that a healthy mare in the prime of her life had a romantic interest in another pony. "Go on...?"

Sunset swallowed hard, nerves managing to cut through some of the haze of alcohol that had made her brave enough to even start the conversation. Realizing she was in too deep to turn back now, she decided it was best to just rip the bandage from the wound. "I think I love Twilight Sparkle!" she squeaked, hiding her face in her hooves immediately afterward.

Mischief sparked back into Luna's eyes as she listened to Sunset's confession with an only slightly evil looking grin. "Twilight hmm? That's a shame, had I known you were interested in mares I might have asked if you wanted to be my consort rather than if you wanted to be my friend," she teased, giving Sunset a dramatic wink.

Sunset gasped as she immediately sat straight up in her seat, gaping at Luna in surprise. This general state of shock seemed to persist for a few seconds until something finally snapped in her mind. "Alright look, give me like two more of those drinks and we can totally make out a bit later if you want, but for now, how am I supposed to deal with this Twilight thing?"

It was Luna's turn to blush as she briefly tried to figure out if Sunset was teasing her back or was serious, but after a moment she gave up on that line of thought to address the question at hoof. "I'm not sure I understand what the problem is," she admitted with a shrug. "As far as I know you get along pretty well and have plenty in common. I'm sure you'd make a fine couple."

Sunset gave Luna an annoyed look. "Seriously? You too? Why is it every time I tell one of my friends about this they're like oh you two will be so cute together, when's the wedding? It's never oh don't you live in different worlds, or oh isn't Twilight interested in that Flash guy, or oh even if she doesn't like that guy anymore, she apparently likes guys. I just wanna get past these dumb feelings already." She crossed her forelegs with a huff as she finished.

As she listened to Sunset's arguments, Luna found herself smirking yet again. "Well, frankly I think you are worrying over nothing," she said confidently. Sunset just raised a brow, prompting Luna to continue. "For one thing, the pair of you are the most clever and intelligent ponies I've ever had the pleasure of meeting, and if you really wanted to be together, I don't think you'd let being in different dimensions get in the way of that."

Sunset could feel her scowl slowly dissipating as she listened to Luna, but she was far from convinced she should abandon her plan of getting over Twilight in favor of one to pursue her. "I-I suppose, but that doesn't exactly change the issue of her orientation, or her current interests."

Luna rolled her eyes before placing a hoof on Sunset's shoulder. "Trust me, I've had to excuse myself from enough of Twilight's weird dreams about my sister to know she has no qualms about being involved romantically with the fairer sex, not to mention..." Luna lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "...it has been quite awhile since she has had any dreams about Flash Sentry at all." Was it a lie? Yes. Did Luna care? Not at all, especially when she knew Twilight was dreaming of Sunset fairly often as well.

Sunset had spent so long telling herself she had no chance whatsoever that the tiny wisp of hope she was being handed had made her feel practically giddy. "You really think I have a chance?" Luna just nodded, giving her an encouraging smile. "Maybe...maybe I should try and tell her...ugh but I get so nervous, even just thinking about it!" Sunset pressed her hooves to her temples. "Why is this so hard!" she whined, trying to review all her thoughts and feelings about Twilight, at least until a stray thought distracted her. "Wait, you can see into ponies' dreams?"

"Yessssss...?" replied Luna, not sure why doing so suddenly made her feel very uncomfortable.

"How often do you walk in on somepony...y'know, doin it with you?"

"...more often than I'd like to admit considering I've only been back in the public eye for a few years...to say nothing of the times when it's the old me"

"I bet you've seen some weird stuff...ever stuck around to watch?"

"CAN WE STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS PLEASE!?"

Author's Note

Luna and Sunset have a weird friendship...

So with this we return to my ridiculous and heavy handed shipping subplot, yay! Hopefully the chapter overall will be amusing enough for those of you who are not a fan of it to have some fun reading anyways.

This chapter hasn't been edited yet, as I can't seem to find my editor and I'm too excited about getting in an early update to hold off on publishing, but once I can find him, the chapter may get a few tweaks.

10: Scum and Villainy

Celestia signed the budget report in front of her with a flourish and set down her favorite pen, sighing contentedly. After a moment she leaned back in her chair and held her hand out in front of her, wiggling her fingers as a goofy smile crossed her face. She wasn't sure why but something about looking at her hand was extremely comforting. With a small giggle she sat forward again and pulled the next bit of clerical work from the stack on her desk before snatching back up her pen.

As she was about to press the pen to paper, her office door suddenly flew open, slamming loudly against the wall as a navy blue pony with a silvery swirling mane strode casually into the small room. "Huh, so that's what you really look like, how strange," Luna muttered as she observed the pale woman across from her.

"Lu-Princess Luna? What are you doing here?" Celestia blurted, not really sure why she immediately recognized the strange creature.

Luna gave her a questioning look. "Does your sister not pop into your dreams now and again to chat?"

"This is a dream? Why would I dream about being in my offi...awwwwwwwwwwwwwww fuck! I'm still a pony aren't I?" Celestia asked, her head sinking into her hands as the memories came flooding back.

Luna simply nodded. "Indeed, that's why I figured I'd stop by and see how you were doing. My sister tends to have a very hooves off approach to any problem where the consequences aren't dire."

"Makes sense," Celestia grumbled, "when I asked her how to get home she basically told me to enjoy my vacation and stop thinking about it." Suppressing yet another long-suffering sigh, Celestia's mind wandered back to what Luna had previously said. "Wait, you can just jump into people's, er, ponies' dreams?"

"Of course. As Princess of the Night, guarding the realm of sleep is the lion's share of my duties...your sister doesn't do the same?" Luna asked, giving her a quizzical glance.

"Not really, no. Her duties mostly involve doing paperwork that I don't want to do and scaring misbehaving teenagers, mostly because I'm really bad at being intimidating." Celestia explained with a shrug.

"That...actually does sound a lot like what I do for my sister outside of the dream thing..." Luna admitted, causing Celestia to chuckle lightly.

"At least we're the same where it counts," Celestia joked as she pushed herself up from the desk and sat back upright in her chair. She had realized there was little point in moping about being tricked by a dream, figuring she might as well enjoy it instead. As such, a rather luxurious looking tea tray appeared on the desk a moment later. "Would you like some?" She asked, wrapping her technically non-existent fingers around one of the pre-filled cups.

"Thank you but I think I'll pass, I have many more dreams to visit tonight, though..." Luna hesitated briefly. "If it wouldn't be too much trouble, could you possibly bring a figment of your sister into this dream?" she asked with a hopeful, if slightly embarrassed smile. "I find myself just the tiniest bit curious at the prospect of another Luna."

Celestia simply shrugged before briefly closing her eyes in concentration. A moment later, a small side door, presumably leading to an adjacent office, slammed open in a manner eerily similar to Luna's original entrance. "Tia? Did you finish that form yet?" asked a tall, slender woman sporting natural colors very similar to those of the wide-eyed pony princess staring at her across the office. Finally noticing the unusual visitor, Vice-Principal Luna was stopped in her tracks. "Tia...Is that a pony? A navy blue pony?"

"Mmhmm"

"Oh. Dear, God...IT'S SOOOOO CUTE!" the school administrator squealed as she flew across the room towards Luna.

"I should have expected this..." Was all Luna managed to say, before she found herself tackled to the ground.

Meanwhile, Celestia was busy trying to hold back laughter long enough to apologize to the Princess, but before she had a chance, she felt a rather unpleasant jerking sensation as her office seemed to be swept away by a flood of darkness.

It took a few confused blinks for Celestia to realize that the darkness was just her dark room in Twilight's palace, and she was still curled up in bed, staring at the unlit ceiling. She was about to close her eyes and drift back to sleep when she heard a rather unsettling and buzzy sounding voice from the darkness next to her bed. "Jeez lady, would you get up already! If we don't round up everyone in this stupidly big place we'll never hear the end of it."

Celestia looked to where the voice was coming from to find two large, softly glowing, green-ish blue, pupil-less eyes. Needless to say it was extremely unsettling. "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU-ooooooooooooooooooooh!" she yelped as she was unceremoniously yanked off the bed and dragged towards the door. As she was pulled out into the dimly lit hallway, she could finally see two bizarre bug-pony looking things with the same eerie eyes dragging her by her hind legs, a sight which made all her fur stand on end, which is a very weird feeling for someone still unused to having fur at all.

Seeing her look of terrified shock, the first set of eyes, now attached to another bug-pony walking beside her as she was dragged, turned and gave her a somewhat guilty looking smile. "Look it's nothing personal lady, the boss said round everyone up and bring em to the main hall, we're just doin our jobs."

Celestia gave a quick, wide-eyed nod as she struggled against the urge to start screaming. The creature's reassurance was strangely calming, if only because it showed they were intelligent and not mindless, bloodthirsty beasts, but she still felt chilled to the bone at the prospect of being dragged from her bed and carted off to who knows where.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Twenty minutes later, all fear had fled from Celestia, and was replaced by mild annoyance as the creatures dragged her down the same hallway for the fifth time. "Look, I understand you guys are trying to be professional about kidnapping me, but you're obviously lost." she quipped, causing all three of the creatures to look at her with annoyed glares. "I get it, trust me, you wanna do your job right and all that, but if you just let me stand up I can lead you there, besides I think that high pitched squeaking noise my coat makes when dragged across the crystal floors is driving us all a little insane." At this, the creatures looked at each other questioningly before giving her a slight nod, one of them even sighing with relief as she stood up properly.

"Much better." Celestia muttered with a sigh of her own. "Alright, just follow me, and stay close, this place is a bit of a maze, as I'm sure you've noticed." As she began to trot towards the main hall, she briefly considered trying to lose them, or tricking them somehow, but frankly, after getting past their alien appearance, they didn't really seem so bad, well other than the home invasion and kidnapping thing. More than that though, Celestia was now far too curious to see what the hell was going on to back out now.

Five minutes later, after a somewhat awkwardly silent journey, the four of them trotted into the main hall just in time to see a very annoyed looking Twilight Sparkle being hoisted up into the air, hanging upside down from the ceiling, bound in ropes of what looked like glowing green goo. "Hey boss, we're back, and we found one more in a bedroom. Place otherwise seems empty besides that little dragon that refuses to wake up." One of her captors called, seemingly into empty space.

The illusion was shattered immediately as a rather obnoxiously loud cackling boomed out from a dark corner. From the shadows loomed a bug-pony much larger than ones that had interrupted her sleep, similar in size and shape to Princess Luna and Celestia. "Good, gooood, then we can finally move forward with the plan. Who would ever expect Equestria's newest Princess, the one who thwarted us changelings in the first place, to herself be replaced by one!" she cheered, rather overly theatrically in Celestia's opinion.

"Twilight, who are these weirdos?" Celestia asked as she walked over to where Twilight was tied up. The bug-ponies seemed too wrapped up in reveling in their leader's speech to really notice.

"Changelings, they can change their appearance to that of other ponies and they feed off positive emotions." Twilight huffed, shuffling irritatedly against her bonds.

"Huh, that's creepy." Celestia mused.

Twilight sighed and gave up struggling. "Not really, they are mostly just misunderstood. This one leading them though has been a real pain in the flank lately. She almost took over the country once, but she got blasted so hard with magic when she failed, her own magic never fully recovered. These days a unicorn filly could probably knock her out cold with a quick blast of magic, but it hasn't seemed to stop her from attempting any harebrained scheme she can come up with. I usually just let it play out til the end then send her home to preserve her pride."

"SILENCE! I won't have you two conspiring against me!" The large changeling suddenly shouted, apparently finally noticing the two of them. As she approached them, her look of rage rapidly changed into one of confusion. "Why does this one look like a punier version of Celestia?

Ignoring her question, Celestia suddenly noticed something peculiar about the would-be villain as she came closer. "Wait a minute, I know you! You look a lot like that girl who ends up in my office on an almost daily basis," she said with a roll of her eyes. "What was her name...oh, I remember, Chrysi, that's what everyone calls her, though she seems to hate that name." Celestia went on, ignoring the increasingly embarrassed look and light flush that had crept onto the otherwise imposing Queen's face. "Always wearing torn stockings to class even though I keep telling her it's not appropriate, and trying to intimidate other students, I keep telling her she just needs to find a real friend."

At this point Chrysalis was staring daggers at Celestia, as a few of the drones behind her struggled against the urge to fall over laughing. "HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME THAT WAY WORM, I AM QUEEN CHRYSALIS AND YOU WILL REGRET YOUR FEEBLE ATTEMPTS AT MOCKING ME!" she bellowed, her face now inches from Celestia's, her fangs shining through a furious sneer.

Celestia gently used her magic to pick the changeling up and set her down a few feet away to regain her personal space, setting her down in a casual seated position, something Chrysalis did not seem to appreciate. "Come on now, this exactly what I'm talking about. You don't need to prove anything to anyone here. What's the real problem, come on, you can talk to me." Celestia said calmly, giving her a serene smile.

Chrysalis found herself caught halfway between boiling rage and absolute bafflement as she stared at the tiny white pony before her. Hundreds of venomous insults and threats flew through her head, but for whatever reason they just didn't seem worth it anymore as clearly they wouldn't work on the seemingly unflappable unicorn. It was a very distressing experience for the ageless changeling, and finally she just gave up, slumping onto the ground and letting out a frustrated wail.

"HOW ARE YOU EVEN WORSE THAN THE REAL CELESTIA!?"

Author's Note

This chapter feels really rushed to me, so apologies if it does to you too, I'm not sure how to fix it!

That being said, still pretty happy with it. It's nice to finish a chapter finally, and the whole Chrysalis bit still makes me laugh. Celestia finally flexing those Principal muscles.

11: Group Therapy

Sunset blinked rapidly as the cloudy darkness that had previously been swirling around her began to dissipate and she felt the now familiar warmth of Princess Luna's magic fade from the air. Where she had previously been standing in Luna's chambers, she now found herself in the entry hall to Twilight's castle, and while the journey had been hardly noticeable, the sudden change in light level and location did not agree with her hangover at all. Pressing a hoof to her head with a groan, Sunset began slowly hobbling in the direction of the main hall, hoping to find her way to a bed as soon as possible, or maybe at least someone to help her into a bed.

...hopefully Twilight...

...maybe she'd join her...

Sunset's progressively dirtier thoughts evaporated almost immediately as she pressed through the door into the main hall and surveyed the scene that awaited her. In one corner was Twilight, curled up and fast asleep, using several half read books as a cushion and her own wings as a blanket. In another section of the room was Spike and several changelings, clustered around a pile of gemstones, seemingly playing cards. Finally, in the center of the room, was a quietly sobbing changeling queen desperately clutching on to a bright white unicorn who was calmly patting her back with a hoof.

"Shhhh, it's going to be alright dear." Celestia cooed softly, gently stroking Chrysalis' mane. "I am all too aware of how difficult mother's can be, but I'm sure she only said those things because she thought she was helping you."

"Y-y-you really think so?" Chrysalis murmured with a sniffle, trying to blink tears from her eyes.

"I know so," Celestia answered, forcing as much confidence into her expression as she could muster and giving the changeling an extra squeeze. "I'm sure if she were here now, she would be very proud of you, even if you haven't enslaved all of pony kind."

While Sunset was very inclined to ask what in the world was going on, she couldn't help but feel like the two shouldn't be interrupted, which gave her a very convenient excuse to go and wake up the adorable ball of purple in the corner. Trying to be as stealthy as possible, Sunset followed along the wall until she reached Twilight's improvised sleeping space and gave the alicorn a gentle poke in the shoulder. While Twilight stirred a bit, it was obvious she was still solidly asleep so Sunset gave her a somewhat firmer shake.

"Hrrmsunsetstoooooopitrrrm," Twilight mumbled sleepily, giggling girlishly, much to Sunset's surprise.

"How did you know it was me?" She asked, somewhat amazed. As far as she could tell, Twilight still looked fast asleep.

"Hmm?" One of Twilight's eyes fluttered open lazily, immediately focusing on the golden yellow pony shape standing over her. After a moment both eyes snapped open wide and she stumbled up into a seated position, a slight blush on her face. "Oh! Hi Sunset! I didn't realize you were back..." she said with a nervous chuckle.

"Yep, Princess Luna just dropped me off a few minutes ago." Sunset said with a smile before pointing back towards the pony and changeling behind her. "So between a crushing hangover making it really hard to see and think properly, and whatever is going on over there, I'm starting to think I missed something?"

"Ugh are they still going?" Twilight grumbled, slapping a hoof to her face. "It's been almost 5 hours since the crying started...wait did you say you were hungover?"

"Um...yes?" Sunset admitted nervously, suddenly remembering how much Twilight cared for responsibility and practicality and wondering how she felt about things like excessive drinking.

"I'm sorry, here I was whining while you're probably standing there miserable!" Twilight practically yelled as she scooped a rather startled Sunset up in her magic.

"Twilight it's fine, rea..."

"No it isn't! You're headed straight for the fluffiest couch I can find in this damned place while I make us tea and find you a headache remedy." Twilight declared with a resolute nod of her head.

"I guess I don't have much choice..." Sunset groaned while making sure Twilight was facing away as a very giddy expression spread across her face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"And then Pinkie just ran up, grabbed his head, and kissed him!" Sunset exclaimed, trying to hold back a chortle. "I'm not sure who was more surprised, him or Rarity!"

Twilight had fallen onto her back laughing at this point and had to roll over and take a few gasps before she could recover enough to speak. "Oh poor Rarity!" she said, still holding back chuckles. "She would have never seen it coming, of course I doubt anyone would. It's hard to imagine either Pinkie having any romantic feelings for anything that isn't at least 80% sugar."

Sunset nodded in agreement before the two of them again burst out laughing. The two probably would've continued on doing so for a decent amount of time but they were interrupted by a soft knocking at the door to the small sitting room they had snuck off to.

"Come in!" Twilight called happily, using her magic to pull the door open, revealing Celestia standing in the doorway. "Oh there you are, we wondering when your little therapy session would end, it's been 6 hours."

As the door gently drifted open, Celestia walked in and headed towards them, though with a noticeably stiff looking walk. As she drew closer, both Sunset and Twilight noticed a very large but plastic looking smile spread across her face, and a rather prominent twitch in one of her eyes.

"Did...did it not go well?" Twilight asked nervously. "You seemed to have everything pretty well in control when we left...I thought you might have even had a chance of breaking Chysalis out of her villainous behavior."

"Oh, no, everything went well, great even!" Celestia said, sounding almost manic. "In almost any other situation I'd say things went absolutely wonderfully!"

"So...uh...why do you look like you're about to murder us both?" Sunset quipped. While laying down and spending time with Twilight had dulled her hangover considerably, Sunset still felt a bit too frazzled to consider anything like subtlety at the moment.

Celestia didn't answer at first, electing to instead to finish crossing the room before slumping into an unoccupied cushion with a heavy sigh. "Well, we sort of got to the root of her whole evil queen thing shortly after you left, and that seemed to have helped her a lot. After that we just sort of...talked"

"Okay...that sounds good...buuuuut...?" Twilight encouraged hopefully.

"She...well...she sort of...asked me out..." Celestia admitted with a cringe.

"WHAT!?" Both Sunset and Twilight yelled in unison as they shot up into full sitting positions.

"Oooooh I can just bet she doesn't take rejection well."

"Not good, not good! Something like this could send her right back into a vengeful rage, this is my brother's wedding all over again!" Twilight whimpered, her eyes on the edge of popping from her skull as every hair on her head seemed to stand at once.

Despite the situation, Celestia couldn't help but roll her eyes at their reactions. "Girls, girls, calm down, Chrysalis is fine!"

"...she is?" Twilight whispered, practically pleading.

"Huh, how'd you manage that?" Sunset asked. She may have only just met the changeling queen, but she considered herself a pretty good judge of character and Chrysalis seemed like the type to hold a grudge.

"Well...I...I said yes." Celestia admitted quietly, before slumping even lower into her cushion.

"WHAT!?" Both Sunset and Twilight yelled in unison, again.

"I couldn't help it...she's cute..." Celestia murmured, glaring off into space guiltily as a light blush covered her face.

"Wait, hold on!" Sunset said, holding a hoof to her temple in confusion. "If you said yes, because you're into her, then why did you look like you were losing your mind when you came in here?"

"Because I am losing my mind!" Celestia shouted before digging her head into the cushion below her. "This has me questioning my whole sexual identity!" She mumbled through the plush cotton.

"What, because she's a girl?" Twilight asked sympathetically as she laid a hoof comfortingly on Celestia's shoulder.

Celestia pulled her head back up and gave Twilight a quizzical look. "What? No, I figured out I was bisexual all the way back in college."

Sunset opened her mouth but was immediately cut off.

"Don't ask." Celestia growled, before again shoving her head back into the pillow with an exasperated squish noise.

"Okkkkkkkkkkkk...so then what's the problem?" Sunset asked after a moment's pause.

"What do you mean what's the problem! I'm a human! One that thought she was attracted to other humans! She's a pony! A weird, bug pony! A weird...super cute...bug...pony...thing..." Celestia grumbled with another sigh. "This is raising a lot of really weird questions in the back of my mind that I...really really don't wanna answer."

Sunset and Twilight both let out a relieved sigh before looking at each other and giggling conspiratorially.

"What could possibly be funny about this?" Celestia asked, raising her head back up to give them both an annoyed and somewhat betrayed stare.

"It's the mirror." Twilight answered matter of factly as Sunset nodded along in agreement. "I'm not sure how, or why come to think of it, but it messes with your head when you change. When I came over, I suddenly found myself all googly eyed over a few humans, but it went away when I came back...mostly." Twilight explained with an embarrassed blush. "I can't imagine how it's affected Sunset after she's spent long periods of time on both sides."

"Totally don't wanna talk about it." Sunset said with an overly carefree smile. "But yeah, you're fine, though it does raise some questions about the Chrysalis back home," she added with a wink.

"I am not a cradle robber! Why does everyone think that!" Celestia exclaimed angrily.

Sunset just chuckled. "I'm kidding, but for now just enjoy it, have yourself a little fling."

"Fine, I will." Celestia sniffed, before giving the two of them the biggest doe eyes she could. "But you two have to come with me, it'd be too weird by myself and you two are the only ones I really know here."

Sunset's face immediately went red as her jaw dropped. "I don't thin..."

"Of course we'll come...for morale support!" Twilight said immediately, not seeming to notice Sunset's nervous objection. "Right Sunset?"

"Yeah, of course we will." Sunset said, forcing herself not to stutter. "You girls start figuring out a plan, I need to run to the bathroom real quick." She said with a smile, before charging out of the room as nonchalantly as she could.

A few minutes later Sunset sprinted inside a spare room on the far other side of the castle and slammed the door. As soon as it was shut and bolted she threw her head back and raised both hooves in the air victoriously.

"I HAVE A DATE WITH TWILIGHT SPARKLE!!!"

Author's Note

So I FINALLY had some time to sit down and write. Not sure when I'll get the chance again so the next one might take a day, might take six months, but as usual I promise that it will happen!

This is probably literally the gayest thing I have ever written :rainbowlaugh: apologies to my anti-shipping readers.

12: Three Mares and a Lady

"Good for you, now shut up." Spike grumbled from a basket in the corner.

"Buh?" Sunset spun around, spotting the dragon curled up under a blanket. "Sp-Spike, uh, what are you doing in a random spare room?"

"This isn't a spare room, this is Twilight's room, well, and my room, and I'm trying to sleep! I was up all night supervising the changelings and I lost all my spare gems in the process," Spike groused as he drew himself further beneath the covers. "Changeling jerks, I bet they cheated."

"Twilight's room?!" Sunset gasped, taking a better look around and realizing she was surrounded by over stuffed book shelves and scientific paraphernalia, all clustered around a messy bedspread topped with a few well-used stuffed animals. "So...so she...sleeps, right there, in that bed there?" Sunset asked breathlessly, inching closer and closer to it.

"Sunset...get out."

"Eeep!" Sunset shot back out of the room, slamming the door shut behind her.

With a long sigh, Spike rolled over and clamped his eyes shut. "Impossible to sleep in this stupid place..." He grumbled as he drifted off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It took Sunset another few minutes to settle her nerves and to find her way back to the sitting room, but once she did, she could hear Twilight clearly as she approached.

"She invited you there? Tomorrow night? Oh jeez, that place is really fancy, we'll probably all need dresses just for them to let us in. Wait how in Equestria does a only slightly reformed villain have the connections to get into a restaurant like that?" Twilight asked, her brows narrowing suspiciously.

Celestia just shrugged, still distracted by the swirl of confusion, self-doubt, and girly giddiness that she had thought she left behind with her awkward teen years.

As Sunset walked as casually as she could back into the room, Twilight glanced up and broke from her dark expression, immediately returning to a cheery smile. "Oh there you are Sunset! Come on over, we were just wrapping up the plans for the date," she explained with a tint of excitement to her voice. "I'm going to send a letter ahead to Canterlot and see if we can get a second table that's near Celestia and Chrysalis', that way we can be nearby for support...well and keep an eye on Chrysalis...without interrupting their date. I don't really like using my title but hopefully a Princess can get a table as easily as an evil Queen."

"Wow, you really have this all thought out already huh?" Sunset mused, rather impressed, not to mention holding down some extra shouts of victory after the revelation that she'd really have Twilight to herself.

"Well...you were sorta gone for awhile, and I think Celestia is still a bit lost in her own head at the moment. Not much else to do besides plan and organize." Twilight admited with a light giggle.

"Oh heh...I got lost for a bit." Sunset mumbled awkwardly.

"Ugh, I know exactly what you mean, I get lost in this place almost weekly!" Twilight rolled her eyes dramatically. "I can't even find my own room half the time! At my old treehouse all I had to do was go upstairs."

Sunset struggled as she felt her face begin to heat up. "Right, yeah, your room...I'm sure I probably couldn't find it even if I was trying..."

Lucky for Sunset, Twilight was still in the middle of explaining plans while thinking up further ones, and as such didn't notice her sudden awkwardness. "Anyways, as I just mentioned to Celestia, we are gonna need dresses if we want to get in to the restaurant. Problem is, I have nothing that will fit her, or anything that won't clash with your coat...and I keep growing out of all of my own clothes," she admitted with just a tinge of annoyance, "which means we need a dressmaker, and need one now. Lucky for us, I know just the mare for the job...and weirdly so do you!"

"I do?" Sunset asked, surprised. As far as she was aware, the only ponies she knew these days were either in this room, the donut shop, or in Canterlot Castle.

Instead of answering her, Twilight made her way over to a nearby window, cracked it open slightly, then took a deep breath before shouting in as theatrical a tone as she could muster. "OH YES, THIS TWO PIECE DENIM OUTFIT IS JUST PERFECT FOR MY HOT HOT DATE TOMORROW NIGHT...A DATE...WITH A MARE! THINK OF THE DRAMA!!!"

For as much wide-eyed staring as Sunset had been doing lately, she was quite surprised that she still had the capacity to do so even harder. "Twilight...what are you doing..."

"Shhhhh!" Twilight whispered, holding a hoof to her lips. "3...2...1..."

Right on cue, the resounding sound of shattering glass could be heard from a lower section of the castle, followed by yet more shouting. "TWILIGHT SPARKLE YOU SHOW YOURSELF THIS VERY INSTANT!" came a familiar, cultured, infuriated sounding voice echoing through the halls.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." Sunset gave Twilight a goofy grin as soon as she realized what was happening. "That's pretty convenient, though remind me to tell you about cell phones later."

Twilight just laughed at seeing Sunset's reaction. "I'd better go find her before she starts rage-redecorating, you stay here with Celestia, I'll be right back!"

Sunset gave her a nod, tried her best not to watch too closely as Twilight left, then looked over to Celestia. "How ya doin there champ?"

"Hmmm?" Celestia looked up, snapping out of her own thoughts. "Oh, well for one thing, I'm trying to figure out why I thought asking my two teenage students for help with a date seemed like a good idea," she admitted with a sigh.

Sunset raised a brow at hearing that. "You know we're both actually in our mid-twenties right?"

"You are?" Celestia asked with a start. "I guess you both always did look a bit more...developed...than your classmates, I just assumed you were both lucky. Why would you want to masquerade as high school students?"

"You see, that, that right there! It's saying stuff like that that causes the cradle robbing rumors." Sunset said teasingly, bumping a hoof into Celestia's shoulder and receiving a glare in return. "I'm kidding...mostly. Anyways, to answer your question, do you have any idea how hard it is to live as an adult in your world without things like a social security number? Oh and before you ask, because I know you will, yes I occasionally buy my friends alcohol when I can find stores that believe me to be my actual age...well except for Pinkie...she can't be trusted..."

Celestia just rolled her eyes. "Even after giving up your old attitude, you still manage to spread delinquency around my school."

At hearing that, Sunset couldn't help but frown a bit, but she recovered quickly. "I'm gonna take that one on the nose but only because I just called you a cradle robber again and you didn't punch me."

Celestia sighed. "I'm sorry, that was a bit mean. I know as much as anyone how hard you've been trying since the formal, and I may not be good at showing it but I really owe you and Twilight a lot. I think I'd probably have been thrown in some bizarre pony asylum by now if it weren't for you two."

Sunset smiled softly and wrapped a hoof around Celestia's withers. "Hey now, no need to get mushy, trading jabs is way more fun. Now why don't you tell me how this date thing happened so I can make fun of you and Chrysalis properly," she asked with an impish grin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So let me get this straight," Rarity drawled as Twilight's magic plucked a shard of glass from her mane and flew it over to join the others by the smashed window, "the other world's Celestia is here, which you didn't tell any of us about by the way, and she somehow has a date with Chrysalis of all ponies...er...changelings...and you decided that you should accompany her with Sunset Shimmer for "support"?"

"That's the jist of it yes," Twilight said with a nod as she cast a simple spell to rebind the glass and place it back in the pane, "and as such all three of us need dresses for tomorrow. I know it's a lot to ask but I'd really owe you if you could help us out."

"Oh you know it's no trouble dear, but I have to ask, this is the same Sunset Shimmer that you haven't stopped talking about since you met her yes?" Rarity asked with a snake-like expression.

"Yessssss, although I'm not sure what you're getting at..."

"The same Sunset Shimmer who you keep sneaking off to visit without telling anypony?"

"I tell Spike. Rarity, where are you going with this?"

"The very same Sunset Shimmer who you started writing to twice as frequently ever since you met this world's Flash Sentry and then never talked to him again?"

"I don't see how either of those things are at all connected, and I'm really starting to resent whatever it is you're attempting to imply."

"Twilight."

"I'm serious Rarity, whatever you think is going on just tell me so I can deny it and we can move on."

"Twilight."

"FINE!"

Twilight's face was bright pink by now and she was looking characteristically manic. "Is it that obvious?" she squeaked, giving Rarity a desperate look.

"Of course it is dear." Rarity nodded with a smug smile. "Though why you ever thought you could hide it from me is the real mystery. Even if you had Applejack's poker face I'd still know. I can smell romance from miles away, you know that darling. So when do I get to meet this dashing Ms. Shimmer?"

"You mean so you can pretty much tell her in a way that only you think is crafty?" Twilight deadpanned. "Rarity, you may be good at finding secrets but you and I both know you are the worst at keeping them."

"Only by choice," Rarity tittered, "but fine, I'm sure I'll get to meet her tomorrow afternoon when I come back to fit the dresses. Anyways, you know the deal. One anti-sleeping potion and three bottles of that wonderful shampoo you and Zecora like to brew together."

"Of course." Twilight nodded seriously, acquiescing immediately to her friend's demands. "You know where the potion cabinet is, avoid the shampoo bottles with the red sticker, Apple Bloom...helped...with those."

"Thank you dear!" Rarity practically squealed, throwing her forelegs around Twilight's neck for an exaggerated hug. "I'll see you tomorrow as soon as I'm ready for the fitting. I'll make sure you absolutely wow her! Oh and wear that orchid petal perfume I gave you for your birthday two years ago, I was assured it was a hit with the mares," she added with a wink as she began trotting off down the nearest hall towards Twilight's alchemy stash.

Twilight heaved a sigh of relief before smiling to herself. "Well that went better than expected, kinda nice having at least one of them know..." she said to herself before trailing off as a thought struck her and she stared down the hall that Rarity was rapidly disappearing down.

"WAIT! HOW DID YOU KNOW I LIKED MARES TWO YEARS AGO! I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!"

Author's Note

Ohhhhhh man it feels so good to type out a chapter on a new keyboard :heart: My poor old Poker II was starting to show it's age but I never realized it'd be so nice to replace it.

Oh hey, one of the other mane 6 finally gets some screen time! :raritystarry:

13: Dresses and Saddles

Princess Celestia frowned as she read through the letter for the fourth time that morning. She sighed as she finished and let the letter fall back onto her desk. She leaned back in her chair and sighed again, though with a bit more emphasis, casting her eyes to the ceiling of her office. "I can't believe they want me to sign off on a law like that, that's just idiotic..." she mumbled to herself.

Just as she was about to check her mental clock to see what time it was, she was interrupted by somepony violently kicking in her office door. "Ohhhhhhh sisterrrrrr!" Luna called as she trotted into the office, immediately putting her older sister on edge with how cheery she sounded. "I heard some rather interesting news last night that I thought you might want to hear!" She explained in a sing-songy voice.

Princess Celestia gave Luna an annoyed look, but deep down found herself rather curious. It was obvious Luna was up to something, but what could it possibly be that she felt like bringing her sister in on the joke? "Luna, if this is one of your pranks..."

"Oh would you relax!" Luna shot back with a giggle as she crossed the room and slumped into one of the chairs across from Princess Celestia. "This should be something both of us will find quite amusing."

Princess Celestia gave her a brief suspicious look before giving up and leaning back in her chair. "Fine, fine, please go on."

"So, rumor has it your little student has a date tonight, here in Canterlot." Luna elaborated conspiratorially.

"Soooo?" Princess Celestia asked with a raised brow. "I mean, good for Twilight, but I don't really see how that's any of my business, or yours for that matter."

"Now hold on," Luna held up a hoof, her eyes glinting with amusement, "I never said which of your little students I was talking about."

"So Sunset then? While certainly interesting, I still don't see..."

"Both."

"They both have dates tonight? What a strange coinciden..,"

"Together."

That was enough to stop Princess Celestia short, a mischievous grin spreading across her muzzle that nearly mirrored Luna's. While she had always had a much better sense of restraint than her sister, sometimes the call for some harmless fun could not be ignored. "Alright you've piqued my interest, am I right in assuming you've booked us a table to discreetly watch this potentially adorable mess unfold?"

"But of course! Who do you think you're talking to?" Luna replied in mock offense, before adopting an even larger grin than before. "But you haven't even heard the best part yet!"

"There's more?"

"You'll never guess who's booked the table right next to them."

"A pair of Twilight's friends? That'd be rather amusing."

"Nope, way off. None other than the infamous Queen Chrysalis."

"If that bitch dares to try anything underhoofed..."

"Whoah, whoah, calm down! She's also there for a date."

"What poor fool agreed to an evening with that sniveling little cockroach?"

Luna gave her sister a curious look. She knew Princess Celestia still had a lot of pent up anger from the wedding, but she had assumed most of it had been directed inward over betraying her trust in Twilight, rather than towards hating the changeling Queen. "Well um, in a way, you did..."

Princess Celestia's face froze in shock, but only momentarily as her mind rapidly put the pieces together. "Really? The human one? How strange...you'd think she wouldn't be attracted to equine forms. Then again I do remember Twilight mentioned experiencing something along those lines with some boy when she went through the mirror, which was only surprising because I had had her pegged as a filly-fooler since she was 11. As if I wouldn't notice when she checked out every female anatomy book at once from the library..." She mused with a chuckle before shaking her head to break free from her tangent and return to the topic at hoof.

"Anyways, now we have even more reason to be in attendance. We have to protect me from any of that bug's potential schemes..." She proclaimed, her eyes narrowing, before her expression changed to a rather strange smile that was somewhere between a proud mother and a meddling sibling"...and I just have to know how Sunset and Twilight's little date goes."

Luna just rolled her eyes before muttering to herself. "Somehow I forget I'm not the only crazy one in this family."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The morning dress fitting was going pretty well so far Sunset thought. Meeting the pony Rarity had been a bit bizarre, yet comforting at the same time, and it seemed as though just like that they were friends, same as she was with the white unicorn's human counterpart. After that, she and Celestia had been shooed off to enjoy some tea in the waiting room of the boutique while Twilight was being fitted for her new dress.

"So, ponies in dresses, what's the deal with that?"

"Hmm?" Sunset looked up, the question breaking her from her thoughts.

"Ponies, dresses, I don't get it." Celestia repeated, gesturing to the various clothing racks around the boutique. "I mean, from what I've seen so far, everyone is naked pretty much all the time. I already learned that bathing is one thing, but besides that, why the sudden need to cover up?"

Sunset considered the question for a moment before thinking on how best to describe it. "Well over here clothes aren't really about covering up, but about accentuating your various qualities, and looking nice. Think of it this way, back home you'd put on sparkly earrings or something before a date right? Well we think of clothes the same way. They are nice accessories for special occasions."

"Hmmm, yeah okay, I guess that sorta makes sense." Celestia mused as she thought about it, still casting her gaze around the boutique. "So if that's the case with the coats and dresses, what's the deal with the saddles? I mean I get that they are sorta analogous to clothes for horses but it's not like anyone's gonna be riding anyone else..." Celestia tapered off as she noticed how red Sunset's face had gotten.

Sunset resisted the urge to just ignore the question, knowing it was asked out of genuine curiosity, and tried to gather herself enough to answer. "So um, saddles are sort of...um...heh..." She trailed off, trying to get a hold of herself and banish the weird mixture of embarrassment and urges to giggle she was feeling. "Just...think Victoria's Secret...and there may in fact be some riding involved..."

Celestia stared for a moment, before a half smile, half grimace spread across her muzzle. "Ewwwwwww, why would you tell me that!" she chuckled.

Sunset was about to imply she may need one for later, but never got a chance to make the joke as Rarity returned from behind a curtain. "Alright girls, let me know what you think, and please be honest, as much as I love compliments, criticism is far more useful. Also I apologize for the theme being so on the nose, unfortunately I didn't know much about you Sunset, besides your coat and mane color, until this morning. Alright Twilight, come on out dear."

Twilight stepped somewhat awkwardly from behind the curtain, the end of the dress trailing just behind her. It was a fairly simple design, but what it lacked in form it made up for in vibrant color. The dress was patterned with intertwining swathes of crimson and gold, with delicate yellow accents in subtle locations. After a prod from Rarity, Twilight shuffled up onto a nearby pedestal, trying her hardest not to freak out that Sunset was staring at her.

Meanwhile Sunset was doing her very best to not gape and stare at her.

Celestia just gave the dress a once over before turning to Rarity and giving her a friendly nod and a smile. "Looks good, I like it."

Rarity nodded absently. "Thank you dear." She mumbled, too busy watching both Twilight and Sunset carefully to fully enjoy the mild compliment. "Alright Sunset, you're up next." She called, motioning back through the curtain.

Giving Twilight one final glance that lasted longer than she intended, Sunset stood and followed Rarity into the backroom. "I, uh, I really like the dress Rarity." Sunset mumbled, still trying to banish the image from her head and focus on the task at hoof.

"I'm pretty sure you like the mare inside a bit more, but thank you." Rarity said with a sly grin as she levitated an elegant lavender and magenta dress from a closet and onto Sunset.

"WHAT! I mean...I don't know what you're talking about..." Sunset said, before groaning at how pathetic she sounded.

"Darling please, you're about as subtle with it as Spike is with me, it's adorable. Besides you have nothing to worry about, Twilight is completely oblivious, stuck in her own head I suspect." Rarity explained, a secretive grin on her face as she began adjusting the dress to better fit Sunset's frame.

"Ugh, I must look like such a complete idiot, lusting after a princess, and one of my closest friends at that." Sunset admitted with a long sigh.

"Oh nonsense dear, you two would be so cute together." Rarity assured her. "I think you should go for it, when the time is right of course."

"Y'know, I seem to remember the human Rarity also being all for this idea." Sunset sighed, before giving a small smile despite herself. "Thanks, I appreciate the support."

"Of course!" Rarity grinned, giving Sunset a small hug and internally cheering. She was extremely glad she had booked a table at the restaurant for herself and a few others, for how could they miss this? "Alright all done, go on out and see what they think!"

The debut of Sunset's dress went rather similarly to Twilight's. A polite compliment from Celestia, awkward staring from both Twilight and Sunset, and fox-like grins from Rarity. After helping Sunset disrobe and pack up her dress, Rarity led Celestia into the back, leaving Twilight and Sunset to their happy if somewhat awkward tea together.

"So those two are super super into each other right? It's not just me?" Celestia asked as soon as they passed out of earshot.

Upon hearing this, Rarity immediately burst into a laughing fit, struggling not to start coughing. "Yes, hah! yes they are." Rarity choked out, wiping a tear of mirth from her eyes. "And yet neither of them has figured it out yet, it's adorable."

"I actually hadn't noticed until this whole date thing happened." Celestia admitted with a chuckle. "As soon as I realized they were both more excited for my date than I was, it became kinda obvious."

"Oh, are you not excited dear?" Rarity asked with a small frown.

"I think I am..." Celestia mused. "It's a weird situation to say the least, but I figure if I just focus on having fun then it will all be just fine right?" She explained confidently. Despite the odd situation of it all, this was far from Celestia's first date, and she had long since figured out how to get the best from them, regardless of what happened, or didn't happen.

Rarity nodded with a supportive smile. "I think that's a great way to look at it, now let's get this dress fitted, it took me most of the night after all. You may not be the Princess herself but I figured you were just as deserving of my best work." she said with a proud smirk.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a few minutes later that both Twilight and Sunset looked up as Celestia trotted excitedly from the back room and up onto the pedestal the previous two had used. Something about getting to try on a fancy dress for a date once again gave Celestia a brief feeling of normalcy and she was reveling in it.

The dress itself was easily the most elaborate out of the three of them. It was made of a shimmering grey-black silk hung with acid green sashes and it accented her figure perfectly, making her look even taller and more regal then her already alicorn-esque proportions.

Yet again Twilight and Sunset found themselves staring, with deep blushes on their faces, yet this time not at each other, but at Celestia. "Wow...this is digging up some very strange emotions from my foalhood..." Twilight mumbled, not realizing she was speaking aloud. "Yeah no kidding..." Sunset muttered back, not even processing what she or Twilight had said.

Meanwhile, Celestia had spun around in place a few times before settling in a position that allowed her to look into a nearby mirror, a confident grin on her face.

"Man, I may be a horse but..."

"I LOOK HOT!!!"

Author's Note

Oh hey look, a new chapter, how'd that happen?

Been awhile since I've had both Celestia's in one chapter, always referring to the pony version with her title leads to some really weirdly phrased sentences :facehoof:

14: Date Night Pt1

While being the Maitre D' for an upscale Canterlot restaurant could regularly be an interesting job, tonight had by far been one of the strangest for the tuxedo clad stallion. Looking over his schedule, he saw the evening was completely booked with dinner reservations as usual, but five reservations in particular had been placed last minute, all from different but equally high profile sources, or so went the rumors.

The first of these tables was filled by a boisterous group of five mares all wearing obviously fake mustaches and large floppy hats.

The second was occupied shortly afterwards by a pair of oddly large pegasi, one white with a pink mane, the other sporting various shades of matte blues.

The third reservation was never claimed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Princess Cadance practically pranced through one of the various hallways of her castle, a huge smile spread across her muzzle as she headed to her chambers to pick out an outfit. Her husband had just returned home early from some military exercise and surprised her with a date night.

Frankly she couldn't be happier.

At least until some errant half formed thought caused her to stop in the middle of the hallway, her expression scrunching as she wracked her mind. "There was something I was supposed to do tonight..."

After another minute of pondering she just shrugged and continued on her way. "Whatever it was I'm sure it'll be fine. It's not like there's rampant, gratuitous shipping that I'm missing out on happening somewhere in Equestria tonight."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ignoring the unclaimed reservation, the Maitre D' moved further down his list to the last two of the high profile reservations, which had yet to be filled, and were the two that actually did have high profile names attached to them. One for Princess Twilight Sparkle and guest, the other for Queen Chrysalis and guest. Both of these reservations made the restaurant staff very nervous for very different reasons, and as such the Maitre D' scurried off to make sure both tables were prepared perfectly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Twilight, Sunset, and Celestia all sat comfortably in a rather spacious carriage that had very graciously, if suspiciously, been sent along by Princess Luna to transport them to the restaurant. Celestia looked out across the quickly darkening sky with wonder as they flew along, the early summer air rifling through her mane and dress.

"So a flying carriage? Really? This is how ponies get around?" She asked incredulously, despite the giddy expression on her face, turning to Twilight and Sunset.

"Well not always, you remember the train we used last time. This is more of a luxury travel method, we'll have to thank Princess Luna later." Twilight explained, also looking rather excited. "It's also the fastest method, outside of teleporting, in fact we should be there in just a few minutes! Oh! Before I forget..."

Twilight adopted an expression of deep concentration as her horn glowed for a moment, then promptly faded. "There we go."

Celestia gave her a curious look until a gust of wind blew a large strand of blonde mane in front of her face, causing her to look up towards the rest of her hair.

"The whole pastel rainbow mane thing is kinda unique to the Princess." Twilight explained. "I figured it'd be better than being stared at by everypony at the restaurant...well, stared at more than you already will be for being Chrysalis' dinner guest. It should fade back to it's normal color by tomorrow morning."

"Neat." Celestia quipped, still looking upwards to try and see as much of her hair as she could. Personally she loved her rather in-ordinary hair color, regardless of what species she was at the moment, but Twilight did have a point. "So, while I'm sharing wine with a villainess, what will you two be doing?" She asked, doing her best to fake a look of genuine curiosity rather than just grinning at them.

"Oh, y'know, just keeping an eye on Chrysalis," Sunset piped in, "and doing our best to look like we're really on a date..." she added, a small, nervous smile on her face, before she reddened slightly. "Otherwise it'd look suspicious I mean...right?"

Twilight, who was also blushing slightly nodded vigorously in agreement. "Right! After all we wouldn't want to start any strange rumors!" She declared, completely ignoring the fact that a Princess on a date would start many more rumors than a Princess spying on a former enemy.

"Well good luck girls, hopefully we all have some fun tonight." Celestia said with a wink as the carriage began to angle downwards towards a sprawling city of lights and castles.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The three ponies found themselves standing somewhat anxiously around the Maitre D's station, peering around the restaurant.

"I wonder where she is..." Twilight grumbled, hovering just above the ground to try and get a better view of the whole restaurant. "Are you sure this is the time she said she'd meet you?"

"I think so." Celestia responded with a shrug. "I'm sure she'll be along shortly."

"You seem oddly unperturbed that she's late." Sunset pointed out curiously.

"Oh I'm definitely annoyed, but no reason to going flying off the handle, at least not yet..." Celestia said with an eerily calm and somewhat plastic smile on her face. "Oh, looks like the tables are ready." she added, pointing a hoof towards the approaching server.

The three were led to two small tables close to one another, with Twilight and Sunset sat across from each other while Celestia picked a chair where she could easily see them both while pretending to look over the drinks menu.

"So.." Sunset began, trying to keep her voice steady and sound casual, "how's the whole Princess thing been going? It feels like with all this craziness lately we haven't really gotten to catch up properly since your last visit to CHS."

Twilight smiled, also eager for some casual conversation to focus on. "Oh, it's been alright, though I don't really have any actual royal duties yet. Honestly I'm a bit nervous to find out what those will actually entail, but I'm kinda excited at the same time."

"Yeah, I can see that being a little intimidating, but I'm sure you'll be great at it!" Sunset replied confidently. "What do you..."

Tell her if she was a book, you'd study her all night long!

"I'm sorry what now?" Sunset asked, clearly startled.

"Hmm? I didn't say anything. Please go on." Twilight said eagerly.

Tell her you wanna whisper mathematical equations in her ear until the sun rises!

Oh no, I must be losing my mind from being so nervous! Sunset thought to herself. Now I'm hearing Luna's voice in my head...

Well I couldn't just leave you without a wingmare now could I?

Sunset looked around in surprise now that she was absolutely sure she was in fact hearing Luna's voice, and quickly noticed a table in the corner where a blue pegasus was waving at her, while the white pegasus sharing the table was frantically trying to make her stop waving.

"Sunset? Are you alright?" Twilight asked, leaning over and blocking Sunset's view of the table, her voice a mixture of concern and curiosity.

"Y-yeah, yeah I'm fine." Sunset managed, her mind racing at this new development. "I, uh, I just need to go freshen up for a minute, I'll be right back!" she stammered, pushing away from the table with a nervous smile and turning towards the wash rooms. Bathroom, now!

Twilight watched Sunset walk away with a confused and slightly sad expression. "Well that was weird, I hope I didn't say the wrong thing." She muttered with a sigh. Just as she was about to return her attention to the menu in front of her while she waited, her eyes passed over a crowded nearby table. Just as she looked, all five occupants looked away in unison and began whistling. Her eyes narrowed as she stood from her seat, trotting over to the table in question.

"Girls, what are you all doing here?"

"Oh...uh...Twilight, hi...what a coincidence....we were just um..." Rarity began, scrambling for an excuse.

"Rares came an rounded us all up right after yer dress fittin!" Applejack practically shouted, knocking off both her hat(underneath which was of course her stetson) and fake mustache in her panic to tell the truth.

Pinkie Pie promptly snatched up the mustache and applied it to her chin, fashioning a creepily thin goatee.

Rarity simply winced. "How did you know it was us?"

"Really?" Twilight asked incredulously. "You made me model this hat design last week, those mustaches are terrible, and none of you covered your coats or cutie marks." she explained with as strong an eye roll as she could manage.

"...surprise?" Fluttershy whispered with a grimace, as Rainbow Dash struggled next to her to try and contain her laughter at the whole situation.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What are you doing here!?" Sunset demanded, now that the very poorly disguised Luna had met with her in the bathroom.

"Apparently rendezvousing with you in the bathroom while you're on a date with another mare, how very scandalous!" Luna teased with a chuckle and a waggle of her eyebrows.

"I'm serious!" Sunset pressed, punching her lightly in the shoulder with a hoof, even while she resisted the urge to giggle herself.

"I wanted to help!" Luna proclaimed with a genuine grin. "I've seen how nervous you get when you talk about Twilight and I figured you could use some, ugh what's the word they use now...backup! Yes, I'm your backup!"

"And your idea of helping is by feeding me awful pickup lines?" Sunset asked with an exasperated expression.

"Hey! I have wooed my fair share of nerds over the years and those have always worked!" Luna defended, crossing her hooves with a smugly confident grin.

"Are you sure they were what worked, and not that you're an immortal princess with the figure of a literal goddess? I'm pretty sure you could walk up to any pony and just say 'hey wanna do it?' And you'd have an extraordinarily high success rate." Sunset deadpanned.

"That...has also worked before yes..." Luna admitted, thinking back. "Wait, Sunset, do I not have any 'game'!?" She asked with a look of panicked dismay.

"This is the opposite of helping." Sunset grumbled.

"Oh! Right sorry!" Luna grinned sheepishly as she snapped out of her previous train of thought. "So how can I help?" She asked hopefully. All fooling around aside, she really was eager to help her new friend, especially when she was really helping both her and Twilight.

"I...I don't know..." Sunset admitted with a deflating shrug.

"Well how about I pretend to be Twilight, and you can practice telling her how you feel?" Luna suggested innocently.

"Yeah, ok, that might help." Sunset admitted, smiling with relief. "Ok here goes..." She closed her eyes and imagined it was Twilight standing before her. "Uh, hey Twilight, can I tell you something kind of important?"

"Of course Sunset, you can tell me anything!" Responded a rather poor imitation of Twilight's voice.

Sunset took a deep breath. "Well, it's just that I really..." She opened here eyes.

Only to find Luna wiggling her backside suggestively mere inches from her face and trying to restrain boisterous laughter.

"DAMNIT LUNA THIS IS SERIOUS!!!"

Author's Note

This could become a very long multi-part chapter...

15: Date Night Pt2

Celestia sighed and pawed idly at her half full wine glass. So far the evening had not been going at all as she had hoped, despite not even really knowing at all what to expect for her first date as a pony. Her date was as of yet, a no show, and her pair of wingmares had both disappeared, with Sunset scurrying off to the bathroom in a panic, and Twilight crossing the room to yell at a table of familiar looking mares in awful costumes. "At least the wine is good..." she grumbled to herself, levitating the glass to her lips.

"Hello there, hope I haven't kept you waiting too long." Came a somewhat sinister whisper from just behind her ear.

Just barely managing to stop herself from yelping and spraying wine across the table, Celestia spun around in her seat, blinking rapidly in surprise. There stood Chrysalis, wearing both a smug grin and a rather slinky black dress that complimented her unnaturally slim frame. Celestia gulped hard, swallowing the wine and a sudden rush of nerves mixed with annoyance. "Oh, hello, I'm glad you made it." She managed blandly, not really sure what to say just yet.

"Are you now?" Chrysalis responded, with an odd, almost downcast, expression on her face as she circled around the table to take her seat across from Celestia. "I almost couldn't find you when I came in. That blonde mane color is awful." she quipped, snatching up Celestia's wine glass in a sickly green glow and taking a sip, before fixing Celestia with an anticipatory, almost hungry look.

Celestia just rolled her eyes in an amicable sort of way. "I know, I'm not very fond of it either, it was Twilight's idea, figured my usual mane color would attract too much attention."

Again, Chrysalis' face fell into that odd expression Celestia couldn't quite place. "Mmm, yes, ever paranoid that one. You'd think she'd be better prepared for my midnight raids on her castle."

Celestia restrained a chuckle at that, not wanting to point out that Twilight likely just didn't consider her much of a threat anymore "So..." she began innocently, "may I ask what kept you?"

This seemed to immediately perk the bug pony up again, bringing back her predatory grin. "Oh you know, just had some more important matters to take care of is all." she said in an airy and dismissive voice, dripping with implied superiority.

"Ah, that's understandable. I imagine being a Queen can be a bit of a managerial fiasco at times. I'm sure it's not quite the same, but back home I've had to postpone or cancel more than my fair share of dates due to some form or another of emergency school business." Celestia commiserated as she signaled to a waiter for another glass of wine now that Chrysalis seemed rather attached to hers.

Unsurprisingly at this point, Chrysalis' expression yet again fell at her response, was it...disappointment? Celestia wasn't quite sure, but clearly something was bothering her date.

Chrysalis suddenly gulped down the last of her wine before fixing Celestia with a critical gaze. "That dress is terrible, and color coordinating it for a first date is just tacky." She sneered.

They both ignored a dramatically offended gasp from the nearby table that Twilight had been chatting with.

"Um..." Celestia responded, taking a deep gulp from her new wine glass that had arrived moments earlier. "...is something wrong? I may be new to this world but I'm pretty sure this isn't normal date banter." She muttered with a bemused expression.

Chrysalis' brow twitched. She took a deep breath before looking directly into Celestia's eyes. "...you look fat."

Celestia frowned deeply before finishing off her wine in one big long swig, sighing with satisfaction as she set the glass back down. "All right..." she said serenely, in almost a whisper, before fixing Chrysalis with a look of pure undistilled anger. "GET READY TO DIE BITCH!" she roared as she leapt across the table, tackling the changeling out of her seat.

"YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS, there it is!" Chrysalis moaned blissfully as she was pulled to the ground, grinning stupidly as a white hoof collided with her face.

Celestia straddled the significantly larger changeling, rapidly throwing punch-like kicks with her forelegs and only getting more enraged as the target of her ire seemed to relish each strike. With a feral growl she pressed both hooves against Chrysalis' neck, feeling with satisfaction that the plating on her neck was just a bit squishier than the rest of her bone-like body.

Chrysalis' eyes rolled back, her tongue lolling from her mouth. "Yes, YES! Choke me! Harder!" she rasped.

At hearing this Celestia stopped abruptly, leaning back and staring bewilderingly at Chrysalis with wide eyes. A flash of understanding sparked in her expression before she grimaced in horror. "Ewwwwwwwww..."

Chrysalis coughed happily, before noticing Celestia's(and most of the restaurant patrons') stare. A light flush of embarassment stood out clearly on her jet black muzzle as she adopted a grimace of her own. "I...um..."

"What is wrong with you?!" Celestia hissed as she scrambled off of Chrysalis and back onto her hooves.

Chrysalis also stood up after a moment, giving Celestia a guilt soaked cringe. "I...can explain?" She mumbled in a wavering voice that sounded more like a question then a statement.

Celestia raised a brow before sitting back down in her chair and looking sternly expectant.

Chrysalis sat back down as well and sighed in frustration, before letting her head flop down onto the table. "I'm sorry..." She mumbled. "I may have been...using you, just a little." she went on, regret creeping into her voice.

"Using me? By being a crappy date and then kind of a creep?" Celestia asked skeptically.

"It's just that, well, you look just like her...I thought maybe it could work." Chrysalis mumbled sadly, picking herself back up from the table into a slouched posture.

"I'm not sure I follow..." Celestia said with a shrug, her anger and annoyance starting to ebb in favor of reluctant pity at seeing how downcast Chrysalis now looked.

"Celestia..." Chrysalis groaned, "Princess Celestia that is. She hates me so much, like she wants to tear me apart when someone even mentions my name. It's just so, so..." Chrysalis adopted an expression that could only be described as gooey. "sooooooooooo hot." she moaned.

A white pegasus at a table in a nearby corner suddenly sprayed a mouthful of wine all over the menu she had been holding awkwardly in front of her face, though neither Celestia or Chrysalis noticed.

"I've had a huge crush on her since the day I tried to take over Canterlot. Nobody has ever looked at me with such primal fury before, it's intoxicating!" Chrysalis explained, again looking a bit lovesick, before switching back to regret. "And then I saw you, and figured maybe it was a way to pursue that without getting, well, murdered." She admitted with a dark chuckle. "I'm sorry, I should've known better, and after you were so sweet to me the other night...I may be a villain but I'm normally not that inconsiderate."

Celestia nodded with understanding, though she still kept a stern and contemplative expression. She took a pensive sip of her wine (that had been refilled a moment ago by a waiter who gave both of them scolding expressions before scurrying away) before speaking, "So...what? You were trying to egg me on so I'd be mad at you and fulfill your little fantasy?"

"Yes!" Chrysalis squeaked sadly. "I'm sorry...I showed up late on purpose..." she admitted, "and I think you make a cute blonde...and I was quite flattered by the dress...and the only thing fat about you is that ass!" she added with a quick leer, before snapping back to her forlorn demeanor.

"Thanks." Celestia deadpanned. "You know this date is over right?"

Chrysalis frowned, but her eyes showed she understood. "I...yes of course..." she sighed. "I'll just leav..."

"However..." Celestia interjected. "I get it, I really do, crushes have made me do some pretty crazy stuff in the past too, and I suppose I could let you make it up to me with a nice dinner...as friends of course."

Chrysalis looked shocked. "Really? You'll forgive me?"

"Yes...but you better get ready to shell out for desserts."

"Desserts? As in plural?" Chrysalis asked with a chuckle.

"Cake tends to put me in a rather forgiving mood..." Celestia admitted. "Besides, it's not like I can kill you, the Princess would be very disappointed." she lowered her voice conspiratorially and gave Chrysalis a wink, "if she's as much like me as I think she is, all that scorn and fury might just mean she likes you back!"

Chrysalis looked dumbstruck, before another gooey grin crinkled her muzzle.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sunset growled before landing a swift punch at Luna's cutie mark, forgetting that hooves don't exactly work like fists. The result was a resounding smack that echoed momentarily around the bathroom.

"Oooooh, yes! Spank me again Sunny!" Luna cooed, still using her very poor imitation Twilight voice.

"How is this supposed to help me!" Sunset shouted angrily.

Luna turned back around and sat down, struggling to hold back chuckles. "I have no idea, but it's fun!"

Sunset made a strangling noise in the back of her throat.

"Oh come now, what exactly are you so worried about?" Luna asked with a friendly roll of her eyes.

"What am I so worried about? The girl I'm in love with is waiting outside, I can barely talk to her without falling apart, and now I'm stuck in the bathroom while my best friend jokingly makes sexual advances on me instead of trying to help!" Sunset rambled, running her hooves through her hair out of exasperation.

"Awwwww, you called me your best friend." Luna said with a happy gasp and tears forming in her eyes.

"Lunaaaaaaaa!" Sunset whined, beginning to look even more panicked.

Luna rolled her eyes again before giving Sunset a gentle shake. "Are you really going to make me give you the 'just be yourself' talk? That was already cliche when I was your age."

"What do you mean?" Sunset asked suspiciously.

"You are aren't you..." Luna sighed. "You're perfect for her, at least from what I know of you these past few days. The strong alpha nerd type that gets all flustered around her, despite your normally take charge nature," she elaborated, spinning Sunset around towards the door and pushing her along. "how could she not be interested? You needn't do anything more remarkable than act as you always do. In fact keep it up with the nervous mumbling and cute awkwardness, she'll love it."

"I...wha...Luna that's still not very helpful!" Sunset stuttered, trying weakly to fight against being pushed back out into the restaurant.

"You'll be fine, I promise." Luna said confidently. "Now go, we have spent enough time fooling about in the bathroom!"

Sunset was about to point out that Luna may not fully understand the connotations of the phrase "fooling about in the bathroom" when she found herself already through the door and out into the restaurant, Luna nowhere to be found. "Alright Sunset, you can do this." She told herself with a gulp. "Luna believes in you, even if her advice is terrible." Taking a deep breath, she began to walk back towards the table.

Suddenly the bathroom door flew open behind her with a slam. "OH! TELL HER YOU'RE THE ELEMENT OF HOT, MARE ON MARE ACTION!" Luna shouted jovially from inside the bathroom.

Sunset promptly tripped and fell flat on her face.

Author's Note

This chapter got rather suggestive, not sure if I should add the sex tag, but then that could also be misleading, hmmmmm.

Anyways, finally got this chapter done, planning the interaction between Celestia and Chrysalis took ages! I hope you all enjoy it! Also no idea if I'll actually finish it but I've been on a slight writing kick lately so for anyone interested, keep an eye out for a coming Twilestia one shot in the next few days.

16: Date Night Pt3 - The Datening

Twilight put a hoof to her face in exasperation. "So if Rarity brought you all here then I take it you're aware of the situation?"

"Which one?" Rainbow asked as her laughter began to slowly subside in favor of a mischievous expression. "The Chrysalis is dating kinda Celestia situation, or the you wanna totally have sloppy make outs with bacon hair situation?"

Twilight simply groaned in response, trying to ignore the rising heat on her muzzle.

Rarity gave Rainbow Dash a disapproving frown before laying a comforting hoof against Twilight's side. "There's nothing to be ashamed of dear, the others were just as enthused by the news as I was, in fact we all think it's adorable."

Fluttershy nodded vigorously at this, but held back any further comment, much to Twilight's relief.

"We all just wanted to be here to see it when Sunny finally kisses you!" Pinkie exclaimed, attracting a few glares from diners at the sheer volume of her enthusiasm.

"...kisses me...?" Twilight mumbled, a far away look in her eyes as she stared at nothing in particular while her blush heated further. Suddenly she blinked, seeming to snap out of it as a look of confusion crinkled her muzzle. "Wait don't you mean the other way around? I'm the one pursuing her, she thinks this date is fake."

The five of them had to collectively resist chuckling at their friend. "Heh, don't take this the wrong way sugarcube, but ya don't exactly have the stones fer makin the first move, and judgin by what you've told us, that Sunset sure seems like the go-gettin type." Applejack offered with a small shrug and a much larger smug grin.

"I do too have the stones!" Twilight blustered, before thinking about her statement. "...figuratively...I mean...and I can't just sit there and hope that she makes a move when I don't even know if she likes mares...and even if she does, I doubt she even thinks about me that way..." she continued, much of her brief surge of embarrassed confidence deflating from her expression as she completed the thought.

All five of them briefly looked away from the downcast alicorn in order to have a split second wordless conversation before bursting into action to rally their friend's confidence, but before they could, everyone's attention in the room was drawn to a nearby table after a bout of rather aggressive yelling and scuffling between a certain changeling and not-quite-princess...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sunset scrambled frantically up onto her hooves, preparing to bolt from the restaurant in panic and embarrassment after Luna's outburst, but as she looked around, it seemed as if nobody in the entire restaurant had noticed. Of course, the reason nobody had noticed was all eyes in the restaurant seemed locked on Chrysalis and Celestia, who looked as if they were locked in mortal combat on the floor near their table.

"Crap, that's probably not good..." Sunset mumbled to herself with a grimace. She began scrambling back across the rather expansive restaurant while trying to mentally review any spells she might still remember how to perform that had any chance of de-escalating the situation, but as she finally approached, the conflict seemed to have already resolved itself, and now the pair were leaned in over their table whispering conspiratorially.

"Huh, that's weird..." Sunset muttered, getting back to her table just as Twilight seemed to be doing the same, shuffling back over from a nearby table. "So, uh, what'd I miss?" Sunset asked with a raised eyebrow as she slid back into her seat.

"I'm...not really sure to be honest, but whatever it was it seems to be fine, I guess." Twilight said with a shrug, before glancing back at the pair and confirming they still seemed to be getting along before letting out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

"Oh...good, I was worried I left you without backup when you really needed me...would've made bringing me along pretty pointless, since we're just here to babysit them..." It took everything Sunset had to keep a sad and nervous waver out of her voice as she inadvertently reminded herself of the illegitimacy of their date. Oddly, she noticed that Twilight also seemed to frown a bit at her statement...how strange.

There was a brief and extremely awkward pause as both mares looked around at anything but each other, nervously trying to come up with what to say next. Finally, Twilight's eyes landed on the pair of freshly arrived wineglasses sitting near the edge of the table, and she eagerly scooped both up in her magic. "Oh the waiter came by while you were gone and I ordered for you since you weren't here, I hope red wine is ok?" She asked as she floated one of the glasses across the table.

"Oh, yeah that's fine, perfect in fact." Sunset said with a small smile, extending her own magic towards the glass to grab it, and for a brief moment she could feel her magic touching gently against Twilight's around the stem of the glass, causing her muzzle to yet again take on a light pink tinge. Immediately she felt the urge to look away and hide the smitten expression creeping across her face, but Luna's advice floated back into the fore of her mind. "Just be myself huh? Guess I have nothing to lose." Instead Sunset's expression morphed into a quietly confident grin and she locked eyes with Twilight across the table.

For her part, Twilight too was struggling with how to deal with the feeling of touching magical auras with Sunset, and her panicked mind was coming up with a frazzled blank. This was not at all helped when she noticed the half-lidded smile Sunset had aimed right at her, and she was very tempted to take a page from Fluttershy's book and let out a high pitched "eep" before diving under the table. Instead she settled for a nervous gulp before timidly pulling back her magic and hefting her own wine glass, taking a very large sip, hoping the alcohol might explain away the flushed expression.

Sunset raised an eyebrow as she watched Twilight's reaction and her grin widened considerably. "Now that's interesting...do I actually have a shot at this? Better not get ahead of myself, gotta test this further." She thought to herself as she followed Twilight's lead and took a hefty sip of her own drink, figuring it may further bolster her newfound bravery. "Hey Twilight, I didn't really get a chance to say anything before, but you look stunning in that dress." She said in as casual a tone as she could while ignoring the sudden squirming in her stomach.

The reaction was immediate, as a small smile creased Twilight's reddening muzzle, which she again tried to hide with her wine glass. "I...um, thank you...you look really great too..." She squeaked before quickly taking a sip.

"Jackpot!" Sunset thought, trying not to get too excited at the idea that Twilight might actually reciprocate her feelings. "What do I do now? Maybe I should just tell her?" The very thought sent a shudder of fear down her spine, but she seized on the shred of hope that her supposed "alpha nerd" tactics had given her and decided to stick with it.

As calmly as she could, Sunset grabbed the edge of the small table and slid her chair around so that she was no longer across from Twilight, but next to her instead, causing the young princess to shrink in on herself slightly. "Hey Twilight, can I tell you something kind of important?" she half whispered in a breathy tone.

Twilight's eyes widened immediately, reflecting a mixture of hope, fear, and realization. "Is she...no, no way, don't get your hopes up...but what else could it be?" she thought to herself, nervously gulping again in the hopes that her heart would stop shooting up into her throat. "O-of course you can Sunset." she finally whispered after realizing she had left the question hanging for far too long. Unable to look away, she stared directly into Sunset's eyes, causing her to completely forget about the half full wineglass hovering just next to them, which had started to vibrate rather violently.

Sunset took a deep breath before smiling at Twilight reassuringly, or at least she hoped it was reassuring and not some kind of horrifying, fear filled, rictus grin. "Ever since I met you...ever since you saved me, I've had these thoughts stuck in my head," She started shakily, but her voice got steadier with every word. "and I didn't really get it at first, but after awhile I began putting it all together, and I think I...maybe...just a little bit...may have...fallen in lo-"

As Twilight heard the words, it felt as if she already knew each and every one before they were spoken, and it was extremely difficult to resist the need to leap from her seat and begin bounding around the restaurant in pure happiness. As the final and most important word came however, her unattended magic decided it had other plans as it convulsed in sheer bliss, which consequently utterly pulverized the wineglass floating next to Sunset's head, dousing her in wine and powdered glass.

"Ahhhhhhhhh!" Sunset hissed as her hoof flew to her neck and felt a rather large sharp object stuck in her fur. "Damn that stings!" She groaned as she tried to use her magic to extract what was probably a piece of the glass's stem from her skin while blinking sticky wine from her eyes.

"Oh no, Sunset!" Twilight gasped, shooting up out of her seat, a look of concern and horror on her face as her magic scrambled around the table for a napkin, which she used to gently wipe Sunset's face. "I am so so so sorry!" She whined, "I must have lost control of my magic somehow!" She continued frantically, ignoring the voice in her head that was giving a detailed explanation on exactly how and why she had lost control of her magic.

"It...ow...it's fine!" Sunset said through gritted teeth as she finally yanked the glass out of her neck, noting with relief that it hadn't gone any further than breaking the skin. "I'll be fine" she muttered, trying not to think about how the mood had been shattered even worse than the wine glass

"It's not fine! I hurt you!" Twilight whimpered, tears creeping into the corners of her eyes as she picked up a fresh napkin and pressed it to the small wound on Sunset's neck. "And I ruined our date...that's about as far from fine as things can get, I'm so sorry."
she added in small voice.

Sunset gave a sigh at hearing Twilight's apology, pushing away the napkin and lifting a hoof to the side of her face and wiping away some of the dampness from the corner of her eye. "I thought it wasn't a real date?" She said, flashing Twilight a joking grin.

This in turn caused Twilight's eyes to widen yet again, bringing back the whirlwind in her head as she stared at Sunset. Luckily this time her magic just crumpled a cloth napkin.

Eyeing the napkin off to her side, Sunset couldn't help but start giggling, which quickly turned into full on laughter, and she had to struggle quite a bit to reign herself back in and stiffle it to just chuckling as Twilight gave her an extremely puzzled look.

"What could possibly be so funny about this?" Twilight grumbled, the hope flowing out of her like air from a balloon for the second time in the past few minutes.

"I just suddenly realized how stupid this all is!" Sunset admitted between chuckles. "Screw this, I'm just gonna go for it." she said with an airy grin.

"Sunset what are you talking abo-" Twilight was cut off from her somewhat indignant question as Sunset's hooves wrapped around her neck and pulled their muzzles together into a rather strong kiss that was probably just a little too much for the middle of a crowded restaurant that was full of ponies currently staring at both of them.

After a few seconds, Sunset finally pulled back, noticing that while she seemed to have been kissing back rather enthusiastically, Twilight's whole body felt as stiff as a board. "Um...Twilight...are you ok?" she asked, worry creeping into her voice as she began to fear she had misread the situation after all.

Twilight's eyes fluttered for a minute as her jaw hung open. "I-I...um...I...have to go!" was all she said before a loud crack split the air and she disappeared in a large flash of magic.

Sunset blinked a few times at the spot where Twilight used to be, before falling back into a seated position on the floor, her ears pinned back against her head and a despondent frown taking over her expression. "I guess I was wrong..." she muttered to herself before gritting her teeth and resisting the urge to cry and embarrass herself further.

30 seconds or so passed as she sat there, not really knowing what to do. She was about to pull herself up and walk out of the restaurant when another loud crack shook the dining room and Twilight appeared in front of her, a wild look in her eyes.

"I FORGOT SOMETHING!" Twilight practically shouted.

Sunset had so many questions at this point, but the statement caught her so much by surprise that all she managed was "I...what?"

"YOU!"

With a third deafening teleport, both mares disappeared, as every other pony in the room stared silently at the spot they had just vacated. At least until yet another loud bang went off, though this time it seemed to be coming from the large, vibrantly colored cannon being wielded by a bright pink mare in an utterly ridiculous disguise.

As confetti rained down from the ceiling, Pinkie leapt up onto a nearby table and threw her hooves in the air.

"THEY ARE SO TOTALLY GONNA DO IT! WOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Author's Note

I did it, I finally made the damn nerd horses kiss! No joke, it straight up took me 6 months to figure out how I wanted this chapter to go down, but I'm pretty content with it, I hope everyone enjoys it. I apologize that this chapter is mostly fluffy nonsense rather than comedy, but sacrifices to the ship gods are a necessary evil.

17: Cleaning Up

Chrysalis and Celestia both sat and blinked owlishly at the empty table that had previously hosted Twilight and Sunset, until Chrysalis leaned back into her chair and scratched her chin with a hoof in amusement. "So those two dorks?"

Celestia nodded with a small grin. "You couldn't tell? I guess you haven't seen them together until tonight. All nervous glances and blushes, it was adorable."

"Gross." Chrysalis spat, the amused smile on her muzzle completely contradicting her statement. "Well, with our chaperones off trading spit, and the wait staff looking increasingly furious, I think it's time for me to get going." She said with a sigh of contentment as she stood from the table. "Thank you for the pep talk, I may have blown my shot but I still think you're very sweet."

Chrysalis gave a predatory grin as she said it, but followed it up by giving Celestia a rather warm and friendly hug, or at least as warm and friendly as one could be with a chitinous shell. Celestia returned the embrace. "Thanks Chrysi, I had a lovely time."

"Ugh I hope that name doesn't stick..." Chrysalis groaned, again contradicting herself with a smile. "Well I'm off to try and come up with a new scheme to annoy a different white pony, I'm sure I'll see you again before you leave, maybe we can get lunch or something." She suggested casually, before turning towards the front door and swaggering away, lazily waving a hoof in goodbye.

"I'd like that, good luck Chrysi." Celestia muttered to herself happily before turning back to her wine glass. Before she could take a sip however, a rather grumpy looking Maitre D' stormed up to her table, fixing her with a burning glare.

"Mademoiselle, I am afraid to inform you that this establishment is absolutely appalled at you and your associates' behavior tonight. I must demand that you pay for all of your meals and any damages right this instant or I'll be forced to inform the guard!" he practically snarled, looking ready to snatch the wine glass from her wispy magic.

"Uhhhhhh..." Celestia cast an eye around the dining room just in time to survey Twilight and Sunset's empty, glass, and wine coated table, another empty table coated in silly hats, fake moustaches, and an utterly absurd quantity of confetti, and finally down to the shattered remains of a chair leftover from her and Chrysalis' little scuffle. "I...well...you see the problem is I don't really have any mo..."

The Maitre D' tapped one hoof impatiently.

"Hark! Hold your tongue knave! Dos't though even know who thou art interrogating so rudely!" Came an almost painfully loud shout from a nearby table as a blue pegasus ran toward them, her dining partner conspicuously missing. "Wait, damnit, I mean, hey buddy, give it a rest, don't you know who she is!"

Celestia squinted at the pegasus for a moment. "Lu...?"

Luna held up a hoof to cut Celestia off. "Lay off my sort-of-sister, alright? You know damn well we have more than enough bits to cover all of this."

The Maitre D' looked singularly unimpressed. "And you would be..." He sneered, twirling a hoof expectantly.

Luna glared at him before remembering her current appearance. "Oh, right, one moment." With a quick flash of her horn, the Princess of the Night was restored to her usual self before their eyes.

The Maitre D's jaw hit the floor just as quickly, before the rest of his body followed just behind as he threw himself into a grovelling bow. "Please excuse me your highness, I didn't recognize you."

"Whatever..." Luna rolled her eyes with a huff. "Just bill the Royal Treasury...and get us a few bottles of wine to go." Luna added as an afterthought. "Come little Celestia, so far my sister hogged all your time in Canterlot, why don't we have some quality time at the castle?" She asked with a friendly smile.

"Uh, sure Luna, not like I have a way to get back to Ponyville anyways, though can you not call me little?" Celestia asked with a roll of her eyes. It was one thing to realize your "little sister" was in fact much older than you, but having her stand so much taller as well just wasn't fair.

"Awww, but you're just so tiny!" Luna pouted, before grinning and wrapping a wing over Celestia's shoulder. "Come, we away, into the night!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Despite her best efforts, Chrysalis couldn't stop smiling as she waltzed down a dark alley, headed towards the outskirts of Canterlot. She had to admit, she had really enjoyed her dinner date, even if it had ended in technical failure. While she was sure that Celestia would have been plenty fun to get in bed, maybe having a friend wasn't so bad instead. She paused and made a gagging motion. What was she thinking? If this kept up, she'd up singing kumbaya with Twilight Sparkle and her obnoxious cohorts. Still, maybe there was something to this friendship nonsense.

Before she could take that thought any further, the alley was suddenly filled with an absolutely blinding light in front of her. Chrysalis slammed her eyes shut and threw a foreleg in front of her, mercifully blocking out the harsh glow. Eventually she took a peek through one of the many holes in her leg and found that most of the brightness had faded, allowing her to see an enormous and imposing figure standing at the end of the alley, wings fully extended and sharp horn pointing high into the dark sky.

"Queen Chrysalis...what is a stain like you doing in my city?" A familiar, stern voice bellowed at her.

"Awww horseflies..." Chrysalis whimpered, immediately both terrified and secretly excited as the true Princess Celestia finally came into focus.

"I would have thought you were smarter than to try and come here..." Princess Celestia growled, "Though intelligence was never your strong suit..."

Chrysalis steeled herself, continuing towards her nemesis and huge crush. "I still had enough to trick you Princess Dumbass!" She spat with a cocky grin, at least until a golden glow jerked her up into the air by the scruff of her neck. "Yipe!"

Princess Celestia floated the now blushing and coughing heap of Changeling Queen towards herself until they were barely an inch apart. "I suppose you did, and I still haven't had the opportunity to punish you for that now have I?"

Maybe it was just hopeless optimism, but for a second Chrysalis could have sworn that the Princess's voice had turned almost...husky as the threat was delivered.

"It looks like I'll finally have the opportunity to rectify that tonight." Princess Celestia whispered with an almost evil smile, if the Princess of the Sun was even capable of such an expression. "And luckily, I have a special dungeon set up just for you in the eastern corner of the 2nd floor of the palace."

2nd floor dungeon? That couldn't be right. Chrysalis mentally conjured the image of the castle map her spies had brought her, trying to remember if there really was a dungeon or torture room located in such an odd location. Her eyes widened in surprise as she finally remembered the full layout. "Wait isn't that your bedroom?"

"Not tonight it isn't..." The Princess grinned mischievously before leaning forward and taking a rather hard nip at Chrysalis's ear, causing the changeling Queen to squirm in her magical grasp just before they both disappeared in a golden glow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sunset's leg kicked in annoyance out over the edge of the large bed as she stirred from what was probably the deepest sleep she'd ever had. Her eyes fluttered open and she gave a large yawn before attempting to roll over, only to find that she was all tangled up in a pile of twisted blankets and Twilight. Her eyes widened in surprise as she surveyed the snoozing alicorn wrapped around her, only for the expression to be replaced with a lewd grin as the events of the past several hours came rushing back.

Carefully, she extracted herself from Twilight, noting the nearby clock indicating that it was still the middle of the night. She figured she'd grab a glass of water before curling back up to sleep through the night. Once she was free, she slowly lowered herself down off the bed, wincing slightly as her back legs hit the ground. "I'm not gonna walk right for days..." She whispered to herself with a giggle. "Who would've guessed Twi'd be into that kind of thing, it's always the quiet ones..."

Making sure to open and close the bedroom door as quietly as possible, Sunset headed off in the direction she hoped led towards the kitchen. After about ten minutes of wandering, she started closing in on her intended destination, but as she came up to the kitchen doorway, she stopped short.

All the lights were still off, plunging the room into darkness, but Sunset swore she could hear something across the room. It sounded like fluffy shuffling, and weird, low moans. Sunset let out an annoyed sigh, "It's gonna be reformed villains sneaking around the castle again, I just know it..." She muttered to herself before using her magic to flip a nearby light switch.

The kitchen was suddenly flooded with light, giving Sunset just enough time to spot two ponies on the other side of the room. It appeared that a vaguely familiar sky blue unicorn with a blu-ish white mane had shoved a light purple unicorn with a darker purple and teal mane against the wall, and was now vigorously trying to shove her tongue down the other's throat, and both were enjoying it immensely, at least they had been, until the lights came on and they saw Sunset.

Starlight Glimmer immediately shoved Trixie off of her, a panicked look on her face as she stared at Sunset. "I...this isn't...we weren't...wait...who are you?" Her expression quickly morphed from fear to confusion as she realized she had no idea who the intruding unicorn was.

Trixie just looked slightly dazed, though she was still grinning.

"I'm um...wow...sorry to intrude...I'm Sunset Shimmer, former protege of Princess Celestia, former criminal, and sort of Twilight's marefriend, I think..." She rattled off after a pause, giving them both a sheepish grin.

"You think?" Starlight asked curiously.

"It's...not official yet, I guess." Sunset admitted with a blush and a small shrug.

"Oh...huh, that's new." Starlight offered with an awkward smile. "I'm Starlight Glimmer...former criminal, and current protege of Princess Twilight." She added with a chuckle. "Oh and this is Trixie, my......best friend." Her smile turned guilty as she said it. Trixie just rolled her eyes amicably.

"Sure you are." Sunset gave an amused snort. "Well I was just gonna grab a glass of water and head back to bed, again, sorry for interrupting." she said as she set to the task of grabbing a glass and floating it to the sink. "Maybe I'll see you girls in the morning and we can properly introduce ourselves."

With her task completed, Sunset slipped back out of the kitchen, making sure to turn the light back off again as she left, and made haste back towards Twilight's room before anything else extremely awkward happened. Unfortunately she wasn't quite fast enough to miss the loud groans that immediately started up behind her.

"NOW TURN AROUND SO TRIXIE CAN SHOW YOU THE TRUE MEANING OF FRIENDSHIP!"

Author's Note

Sex tag added, because apparently everybody gets a ticket to bone town! Well except Luna and Celestia, that would just be weird, though I'm sure some of you were thinkin it :ajbemused:

I haven't had power at the house for 5 days, so y'all get a new chapter!

Now to go back to studying Chaos Magic, because I have nothing better to do! (No, not the Discord kind...)

Also why is my Spotify library so depressing? I never notice that until I try listening to it while attempting to write comedy.

18: Friends and Family

"AHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Cadance shot up out of bed with an ear piercing shriek, leaving her gasping for air and covered in a cold sweat.

Shining Armor's eyes popped open as the sound of his wife in distress immediately startled him out of what had been a very peaceful night's sleep and he began flailing his head back and forth, trying to figure out what was wrong. "Huh, whuh, buh?" Was all he managed as panic mixed with lethargy clouded his mind.

Cadance immediately wrapped her hooves around him in response, shivering and clinging for dear life. "Oh Shiney it was so horrible!"

"Wh-what's wrong sweetheart?" Shining asked sympathetically, wrapping her up in a comforting hug of his own.

"I had this awful nightmare!" Cadance blubbered into his chest. "Both Twilight and Auntie Celestia found a special somepony all in the same night, AND I WASN'T THERE TO WATCH!"

Shining made sure she still had her face buried in his fur before cautiously rolling his eyes, rubbing her back gently regardless. "Shhh, shhh, it's ok sweetie, somehow I seriously doubt two princesses found romance in one night without you knowing, it was just a bad dream. I mean what are the odds, not to mention you've never found a pony that shares in the same...peculiar tastes as the Princess."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Princess Celestia and Queen Chrysalis laid side by side on a plush cushion, pressed against each other as they peered into an old wooden chest while Princess Celestia gestured to various objects with a hoof.

"And that one is my absolute favorite, though I almost never get to use it." the alicorn explained wistfully.

Chrysalis arched a brow as she stared in awe at the object in question. "I can see why, I don't know how it could possibly fit, especially in my case!"

Princess Celestia gave the changeling a wicked grin. "Well my dear, half the fun is making it fit."

"You're sick." Chrysalis cooed, returning the look with a smitten smile before leaning up and kissing the Princess's cheek.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"And you have even less to worry about with Twiley." Shining continued, "She's so introverted and dorky that the only kind of pony she'd ever take an interest in would have to somehow be essentially a high school bully and a huge nerd all at the same time, and that's just impossible! Oh and a mare, because we both know that filly is stuck deeper in the closet than next year's Hearthswarming presents."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"And that's how I once used the theory of relativity to trick Bon Bon into giving me her lunch money!" Sunset explained animatedly, gesturing to the chalkboard next to her, which was filled top to bottom with complicated equations.

"Take me NOW!" Twilight yelled as she leapt off her bed and tackled Sunset to the floor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cadance nodded, trying to find reassurance in her husband's words, but she still couldn't quite shake off the horrible nightmare, causing her to sniffle a few times as she blinked tears from eyes.

"If it'll make you feel better, why don't we take a trip to visit them in the morning?" Shining offered, slowly easing her back down under the covers. "You'll see it was all just a bad dream, and we can spend some time with both of them."

"Y-yeah, that'd be nice..." Cadance whispered, finally letting herself calm down a little as she tried to get comfortable.

"Good night dear, you'll see, it'll all be just fine in the morning." Shining said as he reached to turn off a bedside lamp.

"Shiney..." Cadance said meekly, "can you leave the light on?"

"Yes love."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Celestia awoke with a feeble groan, quickly bringing up a hoof to massage her forehead as she was assaulted by a skull splitting headache. Trying to open her eyes as slowly as possible, the first thing she saw was a kaleidoscope of rainbow colors. She blinked a few times to try and dispel the image, but eventually realized the cause and tried to sweep her hair out of her face.

"I guess my regular hair is back." she mumbled to herself, examining her whereabouts now that she could see properly.

She found herself on a large and admittedly comfortable couch parked in the corner of a dark bedroom, filled with paintings of the night sky and other astral imagery. As she tried to remember how she had gotten there, a door in the other wall swung open, revealing Luna, carrying with her a glass vial filled with some sort of pink liquid.

"Ah, perfect timing, I was just coming to wake you." Luna said jovially as she crossed to the couch and levitated the vial near Celestia's mouth. "Here, drink this, I imagine you really need it right about now."

Celestia eyed the bottle warily, but then realized just how dry her throat felt. Deciding she had little to lose, she picked it up in her own magic before popping off the cork and guzzling down the colorful liquid. Almost immediately, the pain in her head ebbed away, as did many other pains she hadn't even realized she was experiencing, completely dissolving what would have surely been a brutal hangover.

"Wow, what was that?" Celestia asked, suddenly feeling much more awake than a moment ago.

"A simple hangover potion from the local apothecary." Luna said with a shrug, "I figured you'd need it after all that wine, you had more than I did and you're practically half my size"

Celestia rolled her eyes at yet again being reminded of the difference in stature between herself and her not-sister. Sitting up, she took a moment to stretch her still rather unfamiliar limbs. "So what happened last night? I don't remember much after we left the restaurant."

Luna shrugged again. "Nothing particularly interesting, we talked, played drinking games, eventually you cried on my shoulder, first about how much you missed your sister, then about how you'd never find a paramour of your own, pretty standard night of drinking."

Celestia grimaced at that before noticing the various empty bottles lying around the couch. "Yeesh, I really should know better by now to avoid a lot of red wine, sorry about that."

Luna simply grinned. "No need to apologize, it's nothing I haven't seen before, it was very reminiscent of when my sister gets into a case of wine herself, I'd say it was almost nostalgic." She gave a chuckle at the embarrassed look on the unicorn's face before turning back towards the door and gesturing for Celestia to follow. "Come on, if we hurry we'll be just in time for breakfast, which should perk you right up."

Deciding a royal breakfast sounded much nicer than stewing in mortification, Celestia hopped off the couch and jogged to catch up, happy to find the dining hall apparently wasn't too far from Luna's quarters.

As the pair entered, both were surprised to see a second chair placed uncomfortably close to Princess Celestia's own at the head of the table, currently being occupied by a familiar Changeling Queen who was levitating a forkful of pancake towards the Princess.

"Well this is unexpected..." Luna mumbled, giving her sister an inquisitive expression.

Celestia just glanced back and forth between the two royals before offering a knowing smile. "Called it! Hi again Chrysi."

Chrysalis responded with a somewhat embarrassed wave, trying to ignore the enormous smile that suddenly appeared on her new marefriend's face.

"Chrysi huh? Ooh I like the sound of that..." Princess Celestia purred, giving Chrysalis a playful prod with her wing.

"Damnit Celestias..." Chrysalis mumbled under her breath, cursing how easily red showed against her dark muzzle.

"Sister, I would very much like to know who this...I'm sorry is bug-pony the right term? Genuinely curious, not trying to be rude...anyways, who this mare is that seems to be attached to you at the hip?" Luna asked, strangely unsure if she should feel happy or apprehensive at this turn of events.

"Well, Luna, last night, due to various happenings, I became aware of..." Princess Celestia began, hoping to recap the events Luna had missed when she had disappeared from their table at the restaurant, but she was interrupted, as a wisp of pink magic blew in through an open window before dropping a tightly wound scroll on the table in front of her.

Curiously, Princess Celestia picked the missive up in her magic and popped the wax seal, quickly scanning through the contents of the letter, her eyes growing wider and more fearful with every line of text. Reaching the end, she blinked a few times, before fervently attempting to read it again, hoping she had somehow imagined the whole thing and was reading something else entirely.

Picking up on her sister's mood, Luna too began to fret. "Tia? What's wrong, what's it say?"

Princess Celestia let the letter drop, her face locked in a shell shocked expression. As the letter fell, the other three occupants of the room all leaned in to try and get a look, but the scroll only unfurled enough to reveal stationary header that proudly bore a blue crystalline heart, which apparently was enough to elicit a terrified gasp from Luna while Chrysalis and Celestia gave each other questioning shrugs.

Still staring off vacantly, Princess Celestia finally spoke. "It's from Cadance..."

At the mention of that particular name, Chrysalis too began to adopt of look of pure horror.

"She's coming to Canterlot for a visit...apparently she was worried Twilight and I would get romantically involved without involving her..." The Princess's voice wavered as if she was suppressing a scream.

Meanwhile Celestia just tapped a hoof to her chin while wracking her brain. "Cadance, Cadance...why does that name sound so familiar..."

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Screamed Luna.

"T-t-this is no time for panic!" Princess Celestia stuttered, trying to pull herself together. "Luna, go tell the guard to prepare the fallout shelter while I write a warning to Twilight, we can just lock ourselves in and wait for all of this to blow over!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finally deciding they should leave the bedroom, Sunset and Twilight found themselves enjoying a small breakfast in the kitchen, each floating pieces of fresh fruit into their mouths while holding hooves under the table the entire time.

It was enough to make Spike gag every time he walked past while preparing his own breakfast. "You two are the worst, Trixie and Starlight aren't even this bad when they think no one is looking!"

The pair dutifully ignored the little dragon and focused on their meal, at least until said dragon violently hacked up a scroll of parchment onto the table in front of them

"Huh, a letter from the princess? I wonder what's the occasion?" Twilight scooped up the letter and opened it in front of her, making sure Sunset could get a good look as well.

My Faithful Student,

Cadance is coming.

Run!

Love,
Princess Celestia

"What in Equestria does that mean?" Sunset muttered to herself as she doubled checked the letter, making sure she wasn't missing something, at least until the letter was incinerated in a roaring purple flame.

"HAVE TO GET RID OF THE EVIDENCE, HAVE TO HIDE!" Twilight shouted before yanking Sunset and Spike up in her magic and fleeing towards a nearby stairwell. "TO THE DUNGEONS!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shining crinkled his muzzle in displeasure as he yet again pulled the rope that served as the doorbell to Twilight's castle, scratching the back of his neck while looking up at the towering crystal structure. "I can't figure out why nobody's coming to the door, you told the Princess to let Twilight know we were coming right?"

Instead of answering, Cadance spun around and gave the door a mighty buck that would have made any member of the Apple family proud, immediately shattering the wooden barrier.

"Cadance, what in Equestria are you doing?" Shining asked with a tired sigh.

Cadance stalked into the foyer like an angry jungle cat. "I can smell it Shiney...young love...and it's close..." she growled.

Shining just slapped a hoof to his face as his wife sniffed the air a few times before practically diving down a trap door she had somehow uncovered.

"Found you!"

"CADANCE, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Author's Note

This story is 1 like away from hitting 2k, and that is awesome! Here's hoping this chapter can push it over the edge, thanks again to everyone who has taken the time to read this nonsense!

Also, shameless self-promotion, anyone who wants more Sunset Shimmer shipping should check out my latest work in progress, This Can't Be Legal.

19: Fear and Loving in Las Pegasus

"Princess Cadance please! You can't tell anypony about this yet! I'm just not ready!"

Cadance resisted the urge to scratch her head in confusion as she watched the purple pony groveling before her. She cast a quick glance to the other pony in the room, noticing she looked rather annoyed, but understanding as she gently patted the shivering form next to her. Quite frankly the whole slightly pathetic display sucked all the righteous fury right out of her as she heaved a long sigh.

"Starlight it's fine. You shouldn't hide your love, it's something to cherish and be proud of, but for now I'll still keep your secret until you are ready." Cadance lectured, while taking up a much softer expression. "Especially since this is months ahead of schedule..." she added under her breath, trying not to grit her teeth.

Starlight Glimmer simply nodded, sniffling a bit as she sat back upright and shuffled up closer to Trixie.

"Now more importantly, why are you two down in the dungeons? And why is Spike with you?"

Starlight winced, scrambling for a moment. "Uuuuh....privacy? No one ever comes down here so we figured it'd be a good spot, and Spike's here for, um, moral support!"

Cadance looked from the strangely nervous unicorn over to Spike, who crossed his arms with a frown. "Mares are weird."

"You don't know the half of it kid." echoed Shining Armor's voice from the open trap door overhead.

Cadance rolled her eyes, choosing to ignore that remark. "Look, we can all discuss this more later, for now, have any of you seen Twilight? It's urgent that I find her."

Starlight put a hoof to her chin in thought. "Hmmm, I think I heard her muttering something about Las Pegasus this morning? Something about eloping, I'm not really sure, I wasn't really paying attention."

"WHAT!?" Cadance practically screamed, curls of hair springing erratically from her mane. She looked up through the trap door to see Shining with his eyes wide and jaw hanging open. "We need to go, but mark my words, I will be back to talk about this with you two." she added in an eerily calm voice before spreading her wings and rocketing up through the trap door, grabbing her husband as she passed the front door.

Waiting a few moments to ensure the coast was clear, Starlight heaved a long suffering sigh. "That was too close..." she grumbled as her horn lit up and roaring purple flames washed over both herself and Trixie.

"Elopement Twi, really?" Sunset asked with a teasing chuckle. "I love ya but technically we've only been on one date."

"Desperate times call for desperate measures." Twilight grumbled as she stretched her wings, sore from clamping them as close to her sides as she could in order to maintain the illusion.

"How'd you learn to do that anyways?" Sunset asked curiously, still rather impressed by Twilight's magical ruse.

"I spent some time studying changeling magic after my brother's wedding, I figured if I could reproduce it, I might find a reliable countermeasure." Twilight explained with a shrug. "Didn't work out as well as I had hoped but at least it's come in handy."

"Oh we are so having some fun with that later." Sunset said with a devious grin. "Anyways, that should get her off our trail for a bit. Even at the speed of a crazed Alicorn, Las Pegasus should still be a few hours flight from here if my memory of Equestrian geography serves. What do we do now?"

Twilight frowned, trying to sort out a plan. "I'm not really sure, I guess we should head to Canterlot, I'm sure the Princess has a plan for this kind of thing."

Sunset frowned, crinkling her snout. "Ugh, she just forgave me and now I have to tell her that I'm banging her prized student?"

Twilight's muzzle reddened at that, though she couldn't help but giggle a bit. "Judging by her warning letter, I think she already knows...somehow. Either way we'd have to tell her eventually, might as well get it over with right? Ready?" she asked, extending a wing around Sunset as her horn again began to glow.

Sunset nodded, cuddling herself up against Twilight as the magic surrounded them just before they disappeared with a flash and a crack.

Spike let out an angry huff. "Not even a thank you... No that's fine, I'll just sit here in the dungeons, which I don't even know the way out of, it's totally cool."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The doors to the throne room creaked open, allowing Twilight and Sunset to trot down the long chamber towards the white figure seated atop a large golden throne. Immediately Twilight noticed something wasn't quite right, and she grew increasingly uneasy as she noticed the conspicuously empty silver throne next to her mentor's.

"Uh...Princess?" She called as they grew closer, squinting her eyes to get a better look at the lopsided figure in the throne.

After a few more moments they got close enough to actually see the problem.

"Pri...Celestia?" Twilight's eyes widened as she realized just who was sitting before her.

Slumped from the weight of a comically over-sized golden peytral and a crown that was far too large sat Celestia, struggling to stay seated upright.

"Hi girls." she muttered sullenly.

"Wh-what's going on? Why are you on the Princess's throne?" Twilight asked anxiously. This was not at all what she had hoped for when she came to Canterlot for asylum from her sister-in-law.

"I'm the decoy, I guess." Celestia answered grumpily. Being press-ganged into court intrigue hadn't exactly been high on her list of to-do's when she had woken up that morning. She hadn't even gotten her royal breakfast.

"Um...ok...where's the Princess?" Sunset asked, casting her eyes around the otherwise empty throne room.

Celestia simply pointed behind herself with a hoof.

Following the gesture, Twilight noticed a familiar rainbow tail drifting out from just behind the massive throne. She circled around it with Sunset following close behind, not fully prepared for what she found behind it.

Princess Celestia and Chrysalis were coiled tightly together in a small(for their sizes) ball, huddled against the back of the chair, quivering in fear with their eyes slammed shut and hooves over their ears. Luna had adopted a similar position behind her own throne.

Sunset cast a nervous look at Twilight. "Uh, how about I let you deal with these two while I go check on Luna."

Twilight nodded blankly as her marefriend walked a few feet away to talk with the younger princess. Twilight could never remember a time when Princess Celestia had shown any sort of real fear, and seeing it now left her rather unnerved. Not to mention finding her terror cuddling with Queen Chrysalis was an interesting development all on it's own.

"Um, Princess?" Twilight asked meekly, prodding at one of her shoulders to try and get her attention.

Slowly, Princess Celestia cracked open one eye, expecting to be faced with her imminent doom. When instead she found the worry creased face of her beloved student, every muscle in her body seemed to simultaneously un-clench with relief. "Oh thank the stars it's you Twilight." she breathed as she began to extricate herself from Chrysalis, who eventually also opened an eye and realized she'd get to live for at least a few more minutes. "When we heard the teleport spell, we assumed Cadance was here."

"Eh heh...I take it she's not too pleased with you either?" Twilight asked awkwardly, already deducing she and Sunset weren't the only ones to suddenly find romance.

"I should have seen this coming," Princess Celestia admitted with a sigh as she stepped back around the throne and levitated her various adornments off of her would-be impersonator, who promptly collapsed off the chair with a tired groan. "but in my defense, Cadance should really be more on top of this sort of thing, I mean that restaurant was practically glowing with love energy thanks to you and Sunset."

Twilight leveled an accusatory stare at the Princess. "Do I even want to know how you know anything about that?"

Princess Celestia responded with a sheepish but not at all remorseful grin. "We can discuss it later, but suffice it to say I like to keep tabs on my favorite students." she admitted, using a wing to playfully ruffle Twilight's mane.

Twilight was about to respond, not at all mollified by her teacher's reassurances, when she was interrupted by the throne room doors slamming open as a panicked pegasus guard swept into the hall.

"Your majesties! We've received reports of a terrifying pink monster attacking every chapel in Las Pegasus!"

Twilight's mouth snapped shut as Princess Celestia gave her a rueful look.

"Twilight, why is Cadance all the way out in Las Pegasus?"

"I, uh, may have panicked while I tried to throw her off the trail..."

"This can't possibly end well." Princess Celestia muttered as she massaged her brow before looking to the increasingly confused guard. "Send a contingent and find Captain Shining Armor, he should be somewhere in the city, probably either hiding or shouting reassurances at the monster, just do whatever he asks, also have them bring as much chocolate and roses as they can carry."

The guard nodded dutifully and flew back out of the room, trying not to think too hard about the bizarre orders he was about to relay to his superiors.

"The repair costs are coming out of your own royal coffers this time." Princess Celestia said with a sigh as she looked back to Twilight.

"Fiiiiiine." Twilight groaned, already lamenting the number of books she'd have to delay purchase of for the "public" library in her castle.

"So what do we do now Princess?" Sunset piped in as she approached the two, a still skittish Luna and still exhausted Celestia in tow.

Chrysalis in the mean time had managed to sneak up and under one of Princess Celestia's wings, nestling herself between the soft fur and feathers while trying not to think about how her former nemesis would have her executed for seeking royal booty without written permission.

"I'm not sure my little pony." Princess Celestia admitted with a sad sigh. "We might just have to pony up and deal with Cadance once she finally arrives...hopefully she'll have had time to calm down some by then..."

"Can someone at least explain to me who this Cadance is." Celestia interjected, starting to feel tired of being out of the loop. "Is she another weird magical villain or something?"

"Quite the opposite I'm afraid." Luna answered weakly. "Mi Amore Cadenza is the ruler of the Crystal Empire, and the Princess of Love. Not to mention adoptive niece to my sister and I, and Twilight's sister-in-law."

This time it was Celestia who took on a look of concetrated fear as she stared wide eyed at Luna. "D-did you say Mi Amore Cadenza?"

The rest of the group nodded in unison.

"Oh fuck!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a beautiful day in Las Pegasus, as friends and family all clustered together in a small chapel in the center of the city. Broad smiles and a few hints of tears graced the muzzles of onlookers as the bride and groom took the stage, and a weathered looking pony in white clergy robes stepped up in front of the pair.

Clearing his voice a few times, the clergy pony lifted his nose in the air and began the ceremony.

"Mawage!

Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday.

Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam…"

Suddenly, he stopped in his pontification, his eyes going wide, as the room seemed to collectively be on the edge of a gasp.

After another moment, he turned his head into a hoofkerchief and sneezed.

"I'm so sorry about that, I'm recovering from a bit of a cold." He apologized in a much more serious voice. "Now where was I, ah yes!

...and love!

True love!

Will follow you forever!"

The ceremony was interrupted yet again, this time by a sharp crack, as the chapel doors were blown off their hinges, revealing a pair of burning purple eyes, gleaming through the shadows of the entryway.

An usher pony took a hesitant step toward the menacing figure, swallowing hard. "T-t-this is a private ceremony ma'am...p-please wait until the reception..."

A low growl echoed through the chapel in response.

"Where...is...my...Twiley?"

"Uh...who?" The usher asked nervously, now taking a few steps back.

A furious wind seemed to whip up from the shrouded figure and burst into the room, causing more than a few wedding guests to scream and hide among the pews.

"WHERE ARE THEY!?"

Author's Note

So first of all, props to AdverseFlower95 for almost calling the opening twist to this chapter

Second of all, I got laid-off recently yay... :applejackunsure: , so I might actually get the chance to hammer out a few updates in quick succession, but hopefully instead I'll get hired in the next couple weeks...who knows heheh :facehoof:

20: All's Fair in Love and War

Twilight waved a hoof slowly in front of Celestia, noticing no reaction from the unicorn, who was doing a very good impression of a terrified statue. "Should uh...should we do something?"

"I got this!" Sunset proclaimed, her eyes glinting with mischief as she lit up her horn and conjured up a glowing facsimile of a human hand, which floated it's way towards Celestia before delivering a solid flick against her horn.

It seemed to do the trick as Celestia started, taking a step back and blinking in confusion while a few golden sparks sputtered from the tip of her horn.

"Something you'd like to tell us Principal?" Sunset asked innocently, now that Celestia had been knocked from her state of catatonia. "You seemed pretty worked up upon hearing Princess Cadance's full name."

"I, uh, may have had my own run-ins with a Ms. Cadenza back home..." Celestia explained nervously, glancing from side to side while avoiding the eyes of the other ponies (and bug) in the room. "She sort of...hates me, I think."

“What? Why would she hate you?” Twilight asked with a frown of concern. “She loves everybody...usually...” she added, remembering their current predicament.

“It’s uhh...nothing worth mentioning!” Celestia proclaimed nervously. “Just some inter-school rivalry, Cady...er...Dean Cadance that is, works at a school Canterlot High regularly competes with is all!”

"How is it you're considered a diplomatic mastermind while she can't even tell a decent lie?" Chrysalis asked, turning to look up at Princess Celestia.

"I've had a lot of practice." Princess Celestia admitted with a small sigh and a sympathetic look to her increasingly uncomfortable interdimensional counterpart.

"Hmmm, I'm pretty sure Shining is the only one I've ever heard call Cadance 'Cady" before...and usually only when he thinks no one is listening..." Twilight pointed out suspiciously.

Luna leaned in closer to Celestia, squinting her eyes pensively. "Y'know, it's been thousands of years since I've seen it, but I know that look..."

Celestia began rapidly shaking her head and frantically motioning for her not-sister to shut up.

"...yep, that's definitely Tia's 'I had sex with someone I shouldn't have and don't wanna talk about it' face." Luna said triumphantly with a happy nod.

"WHAT!?" Twilight shrieked, not noticing that everypony else in the room didn't seem too surprised.

"cough cough cradlerobber! cough" Sunset said, poorly miming a coughing fit.

Chrysalis again looked to Princess Celestia, giving her a salacious grin . "Did you...?"

"Thought about it." Princess Celestia answered with a noncommittal shrug.

Twilight shook off a shiver of discomfort at the thought of her mentor and sister-in-law together, trying to collect her thoughts. "Wait so then why do you think she hates you?"

The question caused Celestia to cringe, but at this point it was likely too late to gloss over the finer points of the story. "I was a grad student, she was a freshman, we met at a party and I sort of...took her virginity..."

"Gross..." Twilight groaned.

"I don't know babe, it sounds kinda hot." Sunset admitted, a light blush on her face.

Twilight gave her marefriend a glare in response while neither noticed Chrysalis nodding in agreement.

"That still doesn't really explain why you're afraid of her." Luna pointed out, fairly immune to stories of her sister's sexual escapades at this point, and by extension, Celestia's.

Celestia sighed, seeming to wilt in shame. "She gave me her number after that, wanted to go on a date, and I sort of just avoided her..." she admitted, pressing her front hooves together guiltily. "...I didn't want the whole campus to think I was a cradlerobber." she added, giving Sunset a baleful look. "We haven't been on the best terms since then, even professionally..."

"So that's where those rumors started." Sunset mused, thinking back to her days of fanning the flames under every dirty rumor to make it's way through the halls of Canterlot High. "Wait wait wait! We can use this!" she nearly shouted as her inner high school bully and manipulator began to stir.

"I don't see how this can possibly do anything but make the situation worse." Twilight muttered darkly. Even if it was a Cadance and Celestia from another dimension, she still found the whole thing highly unsettling.

"If Celestia was able to get the other Cadance in bed, she should be able to get under Princess Cadance's skin, and hopefully keep her off-balance and flustered enough that she won't kill us!" Sunset explained brightly, causing Twilight's frown to deepen.

"You do remember she's married right? To my brother." Twilight deadpanned.

"Of course." Sunset nodded. "Which is why it's up to you and me to keep him distracted!"

"There is no way I'm helping another pony seduce my brother's wife." Twilight said flatly, giving Sunset a dangerous look.

"Pleeeeeeease Twi!" Sunset begged, trying to make her eyes look as large and sad as possible. "If you help I'll..." she leaned in to whisper in Twilight's ear, causing the alicorn's wings to shoot open rather dramatically.

"Damn you Shimmer..." Twilight grumbled in a weak and defeated tone. "...fine..."

"Hey! Don't I get a say in this?" Celestia interjected indignantly. "I'm not exactly thrilled at the prospect of reliving a particularly shameful part of my past..." she admitted sadly. In truth she had always regretted the entire debacle, but every attempt to patch things up with her fellow educator had seemed to make things worse.

Acting on a hunch, Sunset turned towards Chrysalis with a devious grin. "Chrysi, do you think you could do me a favor and show Celestia her potential target, were she to accept this little mission?"

Immediately picking up on Sunset's scheme, as she did so love scheming herself, Chrysalis returned Sunset's grin before nodding and bursting into green flames. As the flames receded, standing in Chrysalis' place was a lithe pink alicorn with a mane of purple, magenta, and gold cascading down her long neck. She took a few steps towards Celestia and stretched languidly, flashing her a small smile and what could only be described as bedroom eyes.

"I'm in!" Celestia declared, staring at the fake Cadance as her cheeks turned a bright red.

"...I forgot she could do that..." Princess Celestia mumbled to herself, an equally strong blush covering her own muzzle.

Twilight just slammed a hoof into her face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With a flash and a thunderclap, Princess Cadance and Shining Armor both appeared in front of the main gates to Canterlot Castle.

"I just don't get it..." Shining pondered, looking over the piece of parchment held in his magic. "Why would Starlight tell us Twilight was in Las Pegasus when she was here in Canterlot the whole time, and why did it take Twilight so long to send us this letter asking us to meet them here?"

"I don't care, as long as we finally get some answers!" Cadance growled as she stalked through the gate and down the entryway, determined to finally track down her targets.

"So none of this strikes you as, I don't know, suspicious?" Shining asked conversationally, looking down to again read through what looked like a very hastily scrawled dinner invitation from his sister and Princess Celestia. When Cadance didn't answer, he tore his gaze from the parchment to glance at her, only to find he was alone, and in a completely different part of the castle. "Uhhhh...Cady?"

"Psssst! Shining!" Came a whisper from an adjoining hallway. "Over here!"

"Twily?" Shining called curiously as he began trotting down the strangely dark hallway. "Where are you? We've been looking for you all day!"

"In here!" The voice called from a nearby door that was halfway ajar.

"What are you doing in here?" Shining asked as he opened the door and walked in, only to find a very dark and seemingly empty room.

"Shining, I just want to say that I'm really sorry about this and it absolutely was not my idea." came Twilight's voice from a corner.

"What...?" was all Shining managed before he was suddenly wrapped up in ropes floating in unfamiliar magic, forcing him into a nearby chair and tying him in place.

As soon as he was secured in place, torches around the room lit up, revealing his sister sitting beside a red and gold colored unicorn he'd never met before. "Twily...what's going on?" he asked with a resigned sigh. Normally being held hostage by his sister would warrant a stronger response, but honestly this was turning into the calmest part of his day so far.

"Well first of all I, uh, wanted you to meet my new marefriend!" Twilight said nervously, gesturing towards the mare next to her, who lifted a hoof to wave sheepishly at him. "Sunset Shimmer, meet Shining Armor, Shining, meet Sunset."

"Hello!" Sunset chirped, mostly just happy their plan was succeeding so far.

Shining raised a brow at his sister. "...as in, the same Sunset Shimmer who robbed you the night of your coronation?"

Twilight's forced smile turned into a grimace. "Uh...yes, that would be her..."

"For the record I did apologize for that." Sunset offered nonchalantly.

Shining looked back and forth between the two for a few moments. "...I have questions. Starting with why am I tied to this chair?"

"Oh that!" Twilight gave a hollow sounding chuckle. "We needed to keep you indisposed while an alternate dimension Celestia tries to seduce Cadance, in the hopes that it will somehow stop her from blowing up the castle when she finds out that two of her closest family members each found love without her help!" she blurted as a few hairs in her mane sprang out into wild curls.

"I'm sorry what now?" Shining asked, even more confused.

"Twilight! You're not supposed to tell him that!" Sunset groaned, losing her oddly chipper demeanor.

"Well I can't just lie to him about it!" Twilight nearly shouted, looking even more unhinged.

"Sooooo another version of Celestia, as in Princess Celestia, is about to try and seduce my wife?" Shining asked slowly, as if puzzling his way through the idea.

The two mares just nodded, bracing for the inevitable freak out and subsequent break out attempt.

Shining sat silently for a few moments, seemingly deep in thought as he sorted out a response. "If...if I promise not to intervene...can I watch?"

"Not you too!" Twilight wailed, slumping onto the ground.

"I told you this was a good plan!' Sunset cheered, as she lifted Shining in her magic, chair and all, and trotted towards the door. "C'mon, if we hurry we won't miss the show!"

"HOW AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS THIS IS A BAD PLAN!?"

Author's Note

Shortest chapter so far but I wanted to get it wrapped up and posted before the end of the night, and hopefully the silliness it's leading us towards will make up for it! :pinkiecrazy:

I missed my self-imposed deadline by a couple weeks for this chapter but I'm glad I could get it together before the end of the month. Also for those who never saw my blog post back in December, I'm employed again, hurray!

21: Tall, Dark, and Horseome

Cadance trotted slowly through the hall towards the throne room, her eyes narrowed dangerously and her hooves landing heavily with each step. A more rational part of her mind was wondering where her husband had disappeared to, and noting the castle seemed suspiciously abandoned, but she wasn't really listening to the calmer voices in her head at the moment.

Reaching the large ornate doors that separated the hall from the throne room, she slipped back onto her haunches and stared daggers at the handles, waiting for somepony to open them and announce her arrival, as usually happened. When the doors just stayed quietly closed instead, Cadance found herself quietly growling as she reared back with a forehoof, pistoning it forward with a sharp crack against the wood, causing the doors to wildly slam open as if attached to some kind of automatic mechanism, if such mechanisms were powered by explosions.

The boom of an angry alicorn punching doors caused a collection of ponies hiding on a second floor balcony that overlooked the throne room to jump in fright.

"She, uh, she still sounds pretty mad..." Luna pointed out nervously, double checking to make sure the magic shadows she had conjured around them all were still effectively hiding their perch from view.

"Yeah, it can be pretty tough to snap her out of it when she gets like this." Shining agreed, nodding his head as much as the ropes that still bound him to a chair would allow.

"No kidding..." Twilight groaned, both hooves currently covering her face in a mixture of fright and exasperation. "This is even worse than the time you convinced me to 'borrow' her diary for you when I was a filly."

"Dude!" Sunset hissed, giving Shining a narrowed look from her spot next to his chair. "A girl's diary is sacred, I wouldn't even steal them when I was at my worst!" Then her expression morphed into an admiring grin. "Props, that's ballsy. Did your evil plan work out like you hoped? I bet it did! Man, I shoulda at least tried it, could've gotten so much dirt from just one!"

Shining opened his mouth to respond but was cut off as the pony he was talking to was suddenly pulled into a rather heavy kiss by his sister. "Uh...ok then?"

After a few moments Sunset pulled back with a gasp for air, leaving her panting slightly. “Uh...Twi?” She managed to mumble weakly.

“Sorry...” Twilight squeaked, her muzzle flushed. “I know it’s terrible...but you know how it effects me when you get all...” her sheepish grin turned hungry as she practically purred “...mean-spirited.”

“Yeah ok, suddenly it makes a lot more sense how you two got together so fast.” Shining muttered to himself.

“Hey! Shhhh! She’s about to reach the thrones!” Chrysalis hissed urgently, directing all their attentions back to the pink princess crossing the room below them.

Cadance had indeed stalked across the room as they had all been distracted, and was casting her eyes suspiciously around the room, at this point looking for any pony to direct her ire at, even if it wasn’t one of her targets. “I know sompony’s in here! I can feel it! Just get your flank out here and let’s get this over with!” She fumed.

Just as the shout finished echoing through the cavernous room, Celestia sauntered out from behind her double’s throne, a confident grin on her face. “Well hello there beautiful, I’ve been waiting for you.” She said, batting her eyes at Cadance as flirtatiously as she could.

Cadance stopped in her tracks, her eyes going wide as she took in the unicorn before her.

Celestia was adorned in the Princess’ regalia, though this time it been shrunken down to fit her properly. Further, her mane had been enchanted to flow in a nonexistent wind, though it couldn’t quite attain the celestial appearance of her Princess counterpart. A dozen other magical effects had been cast over her as well, replacing any need for makeup or primping. She had to admit she felt even more fabulous than she had the night of her date, and if she was reading the mood right, Cadance was appreciating it as well.

For her part, Cadance was blinking her eyes owlishly as her jaw hung open, and she had plopped down onto her flank seemingly in shock. She squeezed her eyes closed and rubbed them vigorously with her hooves before staring one more time in disbelief. Finally, she snapped her mouth closed, blinked one more time, then threw her head back and howled with laughter.

Celestia’s seductive gaze immediately flipped to an unamused frown. As she watched Cadance fall onto her back, kicking her hooves with mirth, she realized she had not been reading the mood right.

“Ohhhahaha, stop! My stars, it’s too much!” Cadance gasped in between cackles as she rolled on the ground.

“This...is not what I expected...” Twilight muttered from high above, pointedly ignoring the looks of disappointment on the faces of her marefriend and brother.

Taking a few deep breaths, Cadance managed to finally get herself under control and pull herself back up into a seated position.

“Are you done?” Celestia asked with an annoyed huff, crossing her forelegs.

“Y-yes.” Cadance stuttered, before immediately letting a hearty giggle escape her lips. “Ok, snrk, that was it, now I’m really done.” She managed before letting out a relieved sigh. “I’m sorry, you’re just such an adorably lame body double! Please tell me there’s a little purple filly around here somewhere with cardboard wings taped to her pretending to be Twily!”

“I’m not a body double! Ugh why did I let them convince me to go with the princess schtick! Shoulda known it wouldn’t land.” Celestia groused.

“I’m sorry! I thought it’d be cute!” Came Chrysalis’ disembodied voice from somewhere near the ceiling.

Followed by Princess Celestia’s voice. “Don’t worry love, it was cute.”

Ignoring the voices, Cadence gave Celestia a more serious appraisal. “So if you’re not a body double magically made to look like a tiny version of my aunt, then why do you look like a tiny version of my aunt?”

“I am so sick of being called tiny, I’m pretty tall compared to most of you ridiculous horses!” Celestia muttered, feeling a little silly that she even bothered to defend her stature. Back home she hated it when people pointed out her unusual height.

“Ooooookay...” Cadance gave her a confused look. “But you still haven’t answered my question, who are you?”

“I’m Celestia. I uh...came through the mirror." Celestia offered with a shrug, knowing it wasn't much of an explanation.

"The mirror?" Cadance asked, wracking her brain. "Oh wait, the one Twilight went through? That leads to that kooky parallel world?"

"Yes, that one." Celestia grimaced, biting back some indignation at a pink pony princess calling her world kooky.

Cadance nodded in understanding. "I guess that makes sense. So you really are Celestia...kinda."

Celestia was about to retort but both paused as they heard the sound of hoofsteps drift in through the still open and slightly mangled doors. Turning to face it, they spotted a shadowy and slightly menacing figure approaching through the hallway towards them.

"Oh what now?" Celestia groaned, but her lament stopped short as the newcomer came closer and out of the darkness.

"Anybody home!" Tempest Shadow called out as she got near the throne room door. "Twilight? Are you here, Spike said you were here?" She stopped short as she caught sight of the two ponies in the room. "Oh, hey Princess Cadance, Princess Celestia. You trying out some kind of regular unicorn disguise spell or something? I like it." She offered casually.

"Oh, hi Tempest." Cadance offered a friendly wave of her hoof. "This isn't..." she began, gesturing towards Celestia but stopped once she looked over at the white unicorn, who was busy staring intently at Tempest as a light pink colored her muzzle. A grin quickly spread across Cadance's face and she had to resist the urge to hop up and down like another pink mare was known to do.

"Listen, do either of you know where Twilight is? I brought her that artifact thing she sent me after, and I'm supposed to deliver it right away." Tempest cut in, not really paying attention to either of them and instead looking around for any sign of her employer.

"Umm, she's around here somewhere...why don't you go check some of the other rooms real quick?" Cadance replied, giving Tempest a glance before returning to watching Celestia watch Tempest.

"Ok, sure." Tempest gave a shrug before heading towards the back door of the throne room.

Celestia continued to stare dumbly as Tempest left, audibly gulping as the mare turned and gave her full a view of her flanks, even covered in armor as they were.

Cadance waited for Tempest to disappear through the door, then closed it gently with her magic, her eyes glinting with excitement. "Alright, you can all come out now!" She called out towards the ceiling. "I've decided I'll forgive you, under a few conditions!"

"NAME IT! ANYTHING YOU WANT!" Came a collective shout seemingly from nowhere.

"First, I want the whole story of how this all happened, obviously. Second, I want a detailed and very embarrassing play by play of Twilight's first night with her new marefriend...I assume it's a marefriend." She explained with a giggle, before grimacing. "Auntie, you can keep yours to yourself, I don't need anymore weird sex nightmares." Shaking her head, she pushed on. "And finally, I call dibs on this whole situation down here." She said as she gestured towards Celestia and the door Tempest had left through.

"I...wha?" Celestia mumbled, still in a bit of a haze.

"Deal!" Luna called back happily, her horn lighting up and dissipating the faux shadows to reveal a collectively embarrassed Twilight, Sunset, Celestia, and Chrysalis, as well as the bound Shining Armor.

"Really Auntie, Chrysalis?" Cadance asked with an arched brow, finally catching sight of them above her. "I thought you hated her?"

"Oh I do." Princess Celestia growled, giving Chrysalis a half-lidded stare.

"Isn't it great!" Chrysalis practically squealed with glee.

"So weird..." Cadance sighed, before then looking over Twilight and Sunset. "Wait, Twily isn't she the one who..."

"Yeah, yeah, I stole her crown," Sunset huffed, "like I told your husband, I totally apologized for that."

"Hey, I'm not judging, just don't bully her too hard. You can tell me all about it later." Cadance offered with a smile and a wink, causing Twilight to go red. "Now as for you..." she sang as she turned back to Celestia. "Tempest had quite the effect on you, is it the scars?"

Celestia had mostly snapped out of it at this point and awkwardly scratched at the back of her neck. "So maybe the whole damaged goods thing kinda does it for me..." She admitted with a pained smile. "Apparently it's sorta going around."

Overhearing this, Twilight and Princess Celestia both had the good sense to look embarrassed, while Sunset and Chrysalis gave each other bemused looks while gesturing to themselves with their hooves.

"Well then, as the Princess of Love, I think I might be able to help you out." Cadance said airily as she stepped closer and threw a hoof over Celestia's withers, guiding her out of the room. "Why don't you come with me and we can talk all about it!"

Watching the pair leave, Shining Armor let out a relieved sigh. "Well that went about as well as it could have I suppose. Shame about not getting to see Cadance make out with another mare though."

All ponies, and one changeling, present nodded in agreement besides Twilight, who opted for another facehoof.

"Say, can somepony untie me now?"

Being arguably the best with ropes, Princess Celestia began attempting to free her Guard Captain with her magic, while Sunset turned towards Twilight.

"So, who was the girl with the broken horn? And why did she come all the way to Canterlot to find you?" she asked curiously.

"Wait did I not tell you that whole story, where all of Equestria was temporarily enslaved by another nation?" Twilight asked, cocking her head to the side.

"Uhhhh...no, I don't believe you did." Sunset answered dryly.

"Huh, weird, well I'll explain it later. Anyways she's Head of Security at my castle, but it's kind of a boring job right now, so she spends her free time searching for magic artifacts and stuff, keeps her from going kinda stir crazy." Twilight explained.

"Wait, Head of Security? Not Captain of the Royal Guard?" Shining interjected from his chair.

"No, she thinks that title sounds stupid and old fashioned, so I let her pick her own." Twilight shrugged.

"What!? Urk!" Shining's indignation was cut short as a rope yanked around his chest.

"Sorry, pulled at the wrong spot." Princess Celestia muttered, biting her lip in concentration. "Sunset, I think you may have gone a bit overboard with these, I can show you how to do it properly if you like."

"Uhhhh...yeaaaaaaah maybe later..." Sunset answered hesitantly, trying to stave off mental images of what her mentor and Chrysalis got up to behind closed doors.

"As I was saying, she's been a big help with finding and securing potentially dangerous artifacts. She's a little intimidating at first but very nice once you get to know her." Twilight continued, before briefly looking around, as if to check for eavesdroppers, "Don't tell her I told you this, but her real name is Fizzl..."

Twilight flinched suddenly as a cold shiver shot down her spine, timed to the moment the door to the balcony creaked open behind her, revealing a pair of glaring emerald eyes floating in the darkness beyond.

"MY NAME IS TEMPEST SHADOW!!!"

Author's Note

So I’m sure many have noticed by now that the time line of this story compared to canon is totally screwed up. It’s an unfortunate side effect of writing a story with no real master plan and doing it over the course of 3 years. :twilightsheepish:

I’m just gonna continue to abuse the “time works different from one side of the mirror to the other” loophole :trollestia:

22: Three’s Company

The tension was broken a moment later as Tempest stepped the rest of the way through the door, lightly chuckling. “Relax Princess, I was just messing with you.” She offered casually, gently punching Twilight in the shoulder with a hoof. “Either name is fine in private, but Fizzlepop Berrytwist just doesn’t have the right intimidating ring to it for a glorified bodyguard.”

Shining growled a bit at what he perceived as another shot at the honor of his profession, but he was mostly ignored.

“Tempest Shadow huh?” Sunset mumbled, giving the unicorn a suspicious appraisal. “Sunset Shimmer." she offered curtly. "Gotta say I’m not sure how I feel about some pony other than me teasing my marefriend.” She added, a hint of a protective challenge in her voice.

Tempest reeled back as if struck by the words, slumping a bit as her muzzle flushed. “M-marefriend? I…didn’t realize she was…uh…taken.” she mumbled, sounding pained.

At hearing this, Twilight gave a light gasp, holding a hoof to her mouth. “Oh, Fizzlepop, I’m so sorry, I had no idea you felt that way!”

Tempest didn’t respond at first, her gaze glued to the floor, and she seemed to be trembling lightly. “Pffffffft….snrk….” And then she threw her head back and laughed, sounding like she could barely breathe. “Ohohohohaaaa….by the storm! You should see your f-f-face hahahaha!”

“Whuh-What!?” Twilight wheezed, her eyes wide, then she noticed Tempest wasn’t the only one laughing. Just behind her, Sunset seemed to have both hooves clamped over her muzzle as she struggled to contain herself.

“I…hah…hahaha…I take it back! You can mess with her all you want, that was too perfect!” Sunset gasped, looking like she was struggling to stay upright.

“Oh you can both just go buck yourselves!’ Twilight hissed through gritted teeth, her face bright red with both fury and embarrassment.

“Heh…haha…I’m sorry Twi, the opportunity was just too good.” Tempest gave a final giggle before managing to compose herself. “You’re cute and all, hell so is this new marefriend I’ve never met before…” she admitted, giving them both a half-lidded smirk. “But you’re not my type, I like em a bit older if I’m honest”

“Laugh it up you big jerk.” Twilight grumbled. “I should throw you in the dungeons where you belong.”

Tempest rolled her eyes playfully. “Oh don’t be like that, I brought you a present and everything.” At that, she screwed her eyes closed in concentration as blue sparks shot erratically from her cracked horn. A moment later the same sparks violently catapulted a wrapped package from her saddle bag, which she deftly snatched from the air with a hoof and offered it to Twilight.

“Oooh you found it!” Twilight squealed happily, eagerly taking the package in her magic and unwrapping it, her frustration with the unicorn entirely forgotten.

Sunset meanwhile was starring at Tempest’s horn, a hoof scratching pensively at her chin.

“Can I help you?” Tempest asked after noticing, her tone sounding both tired and a little annoyed.

Sunset shrugged. “Was just thinking it’s pretty neat you can still do some magic after losing part of your horn. You wouldn’t know it looking at me but most of the time I don’t have mine at all, and can only do magic in some very specific and weird situations. Plus the whole crazy sparks thing looks cool.”

Tempest’s eyes went wide and she blinked slowly, before a large smile cracked across her muzzle. “Hey boss, I like her, well done.”

“Eh she’s ok.” Twilight muttered distractedly, only half-listening as she pulled the final bit of wrapping off the object Tempest had given her.

“Gee thanks babe.” Sunset said dryly, before the object in Twilight’s magic caught her eye. “Is…is that what I think it is?”

“Hmmm, this? Just some kind of magic hand mirror supposedly.” Twilight answered with a small shrug as she examined it. “Legend has it there’s a bunch of them that all do different things, but they all sounded vaguely dangerous. One of them even grants wishes, but in like a twisted, monkey’s paw kinda way, but I don’t think that’s this particular mirror.”

Sunset stared at Twilight for a moment, then down to the mirror, then back at Twilight. “Uh, sweetheart, you don’t think that thing looks, I don’t know, a little familiar?”

Twilight looked up at Sunset for a moment with a confused expression, before looking back down at the hand mirror to examine it more closely. At a glance it was a rudimentary hand mirror, if a rather ornate one, with a frame made of some kind of opaque purple stone, decorated intermittently with raspberry colored gems. “Uh…not really?” Twilight answered, looking back up at Sunset, who was giving her an amused frown.

Sunset opened her mouth to point out the obvious, but Tempest beat her to the punch. “Well I’m not sure about you guys, but on my way back I kept thinking it looks a lot like that big dumb mirror contraption you keep in the library.”

Twilight's eyes snapped from Tempest back down to the hand mirror, looking ready to pop out of her skull and bounce around the room, her mouth hanging open in a silent scream of realization.

Sunset sidled up next to her, gently pushing a hoof under her chin to close her mouth. "Alright so I think it's safe to assume it's related to the portal mirror, but do you know what it does?"

After a short delay, Twilight gave herself a shake and returned to some sense of normalcy. "Ummm, no I don't, at least not yet, but I'm sure we can figure it out, and with any luck this might just let us reopen the portal."

Sunset grinned excitedly, both at the prospect of fixing her mistake, and at what came next. "Well in that case, I say let's head back to Ponyville, cozy up in what I can only assume is an extensive magical laboratory that you've got set up somewhere in the castle, and get our scientific method on!"

Rather than respond verbally, Twilight seemed to visibly shiver, before tackling her marefriend to the floor and mashing their muzzles together.

"Meep...mmm...hmmm...T-twi?..." Sunset gasped, quickly losing her train of thought.

"Mmmf...yes...l-let's do that...that thing you said...but bedroom first." Twilight purred, sinking her teeth into Sunset's neck just as her horn flared and the pair disappeared with a crack.

"...Alright then..." Tempest mumbled, staring at the empty spot on the floor that had been previously occupied by a squirming pile of ponies.

"You'll have to excuse them Ms. Shadow." Came the melodious voice of Princess Celestia from behind her. "They seem to be quite taken with each other. Do you need transportation back to Ponyville? I'd be happy to teleport you, or summon a chariot if you'd prefer the scenic route."

"Oh that's alright Princess, I don't mind finding my own way ba..." Tempest stopped short as she turned around, her eyes snapping towards the jet black creature standing next to the Princess. "Your Majesty, lookout! It's a changeling!!!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, you haven't met...huh..." Princess Celestia managed just in time to watch Tempest charge, violently ramming the stub of her horn into Chrysalis' neck, before sidestepping behind her and putting her in a headlock in order to reverse suplex the changeling Queen into the ground.

"I...hrrk...like this one..." Chrysalis gurgled, Tempest's foreleg still wrapped tightly around her neck.

Princess Celestia sighed wistfully. "Of course you do dear...I wonder if I can get her to give the rest of the Guard a lesson to hoof-to-hoof combat..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So let me get this straight,” Cadence said, tapping her hoof on the table between them. “This all started because Chrysalis asked you out?” She still intended to wring a more detailed and far more embarrassing version of the story out of Twilight later, but there was no reason she couldn’t get an abbreviated version from her new friend.

Celestia shrugged, squirming a little to try and get comfortable on the pillow she was seated on. Cadence had led her off to a secluded little room for what felt only a little bit like an interrogation. “Well I wouldn’t say it all started there, pretty sure Sunset and Twilight have been carrying a torch for each other for a while now if I had to guess, but the rest of it, yeah pretty much.”

“Hmmm, well the best-laid plans of mice and ponies often go awry, as they say.” Cadence mused with a tired sigh. “I had so many fantastically convoluted plans to try and get Twilight with one of her friends eventually, y’know once she figured out that she was gay. How was I supposed to plan for a girl from another dimension? That’s just ridiculous!” She added, either unaware of the irony of that statement, or more likely, willfully ignoring it.

“You’re really into this matchmaking thing huh?” Celestia asked with a raised brow.

“Princess of Love, it comes with the territory.” Cadence explained simply.

“Oh right, Luna mentioned that before. It’s just a little weird, you seem pretty different from the Cady I know back home. She’s a lot more, well, introverted I guess, definitely not the type to try and craft romances.” Celestia admitted without thinking.

A sly smile immediately crept across Cadence’s face. “Hmmmm, well she can’t be too different, I was a lot like that too, until I found love myself. I imagine we have more in common than you expect…for example only letting people call us Cady when we’ve been…intimate.”

Celestia felt her whole body lock up at that, her face burning as she remembered this Cadence wasn’t aware of her previous indiscretions.

Cadence held a hoof to her mouth as she giggled. “Nailed it!…Literally it would seem. Now I see why they all thought you might be able to distract me.” Leaning forward she gave Celestia a sultry smirk. “How was I?”

Celestia leaned back as far as she could, pressing her hooves against the edge of the table as sweat beaded around her horn and her face grew even redder. “I…uh…”

“That good huh?” Cadence asked, before pulling back from the flustered unicorn and giggling. “Well then maybe we could revisit this conversation if things don’t work out between you and Tempest.” She went on with a playful wink. “Provided we ask my husband’s permission that is, though I’m sure he’d be agreeable, especially if he was allowed to participate.”

Celestia’s eyes went wide at that, especially as a small voice in the back of her head admitted that Twilight’s brother had looked reasonably cute based on the few glimpses of him she’d caught from afar in the throne room. “Hhhhh…hhabba…” She mumbled, resisting the urge to melt into a puddle underneath the table.

Stifling another giggle, Cadence lit her horn, pulling a manilla folder seemingly from nowhere, marked T. Shadow/F. Berrytwist on the tab in flowery pink lettering. “Anyways, on to the business at hand.” She said as she began rifling through the various pages within. “I can’t say I know Tempest particularly well, considering she only started working for Twilight recently, and living on the other side of the country makes frequent visits a bit difficult, but from what I’ve gathered I think you’d have a decent shot, though I may need some more information about you to be sure.” She went on, her tone turning less flirty and more professional. “You act a bit like Auntie Celestia, but…also not at all. Oh and there’s the slight hitch that I’m not sure if Tempest likes mares or not.”

Celestia didn’t answer, instead just making inaudible noises as images of pink and white ponies danced through her head. She must have heard some of what Cadence had said though, as the pink and white ponies in her fantasy were suddenly joined by a third, dark purple pony, causing her to wobble a bit in her seat.

Cadence glanced up, about to ask if Celestia was ok, but was interrupted as a door opened behind where Celestia was seated.

“You girls doing alright in here?” Shining asked as he walked into the room, giving his wife a smile. He had decided to abandon the throne room after being untied, everypony had been ignoring him anyways. Stepping up to the side of the table he noticed the somewhat indecent smile on Celestia’s face, causing him to aim a playful eye roll at Cadence. “You two haven’t been up to anything inappropriate have you?”

This seemed to finally snap Celestia out of her daze, causing her to leap up to all fours with a guilty shriek, her tail reflexively clamping down over her rear end.

“NOT WITHOUT PERMISSION!”

Author's Note

Whooo this chapter is finally done! And the best part is it sets us up to actually move towards the end after years of meandering! Here’s hoping I can keep the momentum, but first will be new chapters for some of my other stories. Enjoy!

6: Like Looking in a Really Weird Mirror

In an attempt to limit confusion while keeping the flow of the story as natural as possible, Alicorn Celestia will be referred to as the Princess or Princess Celestia, while Unicorn/Human Celestia will just be called Celestia. If it still ends up confusing please let me know and I'll try to come up with a better notation to differentiate them.

Princess Celestia and Sunset Shimmer found themselves just standing and watching the scene before them unfold. It had taken a few minutes for the Princess to finish venting years of worry for her former student, but the hug had finally come to an end, and the two had then caught sight of the other two ponies in the room.

"So this is weird." Princess Celestia said with a light chuckle.

"I imagine meeting a not-quite-right version of yourself would be pretty strange." Sunset agreed.

"Actually that's a bit more common than you would think, and not what I was talking about." Princess Celestia said with a wry grin. "I was talking about that." she added, gesturing with a hoof.

Before them, Luna had effectively pinned a shell-shocked looking High School Principal turned mythical creature to the ground and was vigorously rubbing her cheek against Celestia's. "Sister, look! She's so cute! Can I keep her? Please! I promise I'll take better care of her than that timberwolf!" Luna begged, while attempting to make her eyes look as large and as sad as possible.

Princess Celestia gave her sister an exasperated look. "No you absolutely cannot 'keep her', I'm fairly sure that would technically be slavery, even if she isn't really a pony, though that's just my assumption."

While somewhere along the way Celestia had realized this Luna likely wasn't her sister, the whole experience still left her a bit dazed. The comforting familiarity of her overly affectionate and goofy sister battled with the insanity of seeing her as a giant fluffy pony. Despite all that, Celestia still managed to snap out of it as she heard the Princess correctly point out that she wasn't a pony. "Wait, how did you know that?" She asked as she not-so-gently extracted herself from underneath Luna.

"This sort of thing may have happened before." Princess Celestia admitted with a sigh. "Speaking of which, what did you used to be?"

"Um, human?" Celestia half answered and half asked, hoping her other self would be less foreign to the term than Twilight had been.

"Ah of course, that would explain why Sunset is here." Princess Celestia said as several mental puzzle pieces clicked neatly into place. "Why don't we go and have a bit of a chat while Sunset and Luna get a chance to meet each other." Princess Celestia turned her attention back towards her sister and Sunset. "Despite having always wanted to, due to ah...circumstances, I've never had the opportunity to introduce the two of you."

Looks of sheepish guilt flashed across both the reformed villains' faces almost simultaneously, and Princess Celestia couldn't help but giggle to herself for a moment. "I think you both may find you have a lot in common." With that, she gave the two a quick wink and turned towards a door, gesturing for Celestia to follow.

Following the Princess' lead, Celestia found herself in a cozy tea room that seemed to have an unnatural number of windows and skylights that made the room feel as if it was filled with the midday sun from every angle. Princess Celestia gravitated immediately towards a large, well worn cushion, while directing her towards one of several smaller cushions. Celestia quickly plopped down onto one, grateful she didn't need to try furniture climbing yet again.

As she was getting comfortable, a pony in what looked like a stereotypical butler outfit converted to fit a pony quietly entered the room, deposited an enormous tea tray in front of them, and then just as discreetly exited. All in all it was much calmer and less shocking service than she had received in Twilight's castle.

Princess Celestia quickly swept two cups and the tea pot up in her golden magic and began expertly pouring two perfect portions of the steaming liquid. "If I know myself half as well as I think I do, I think you'll enjoy this," she said playfully as she daintily floated the cup into range of the unicorn's similarly hued magic.

Celestia smiled gratefully, trying to shake off the feeling that she was staring at a weird mixture of herself and her mother as she took a small sip of the fresh tea. Immediately her eyes widened in surprise and she found herself greedily gulping down the entire cup. "Holy hell that's good tea!" she exclaimed with a contented sigh, before cringing and looking up at her hostess. "I-I'm sorry, I'm sure that was very rude...I've never been in the presence of royalty before."

The Princess merely chuckled and began to refill the empty cup. "I'm fairly sure my own reaction was far more vulgar when I first tried it, I had a very foul mouth when I was younger." she admitted with a hint of nostalgia. "though I suppose you know that already. Speaking of which, how old are you?"

Celestia was somewhat taken aback by the sudden personal question, but figured there was no harm in answering when it was essentially herself she was telling. "Um...29," she answered casually after a moment's hesitation.

Princess Celestia gave her a strange grin in response. "Hmmm I see. You should get better at fibbing, you'll be doing it for awhile. Even after 3,817 years, I still like to lie about my age too." she explained with another mischievous wink.

Celestia's eye twitched at hearing the impossible approximate age of her counterpart as she attempted to fathom even a fraction of such a long lifetime. "You can't possibly be anywhere near that age!"

"Oh I assure you, it's entirely...mostly...true," Princess Celestia responded, giving her a truthful, if still somewhat deviant smile. "Though I very clearly remember being your age as well. I had such a temper back then...I miss it sometimes, it's hard to get riled up about things when you've seen them a million times," she admitted with a tired sigh. "Anyways, I'm sure you didn't come here so I could reminisce about my youth, what brings you to Equestria?"

Celestia took a moment to think about it, but realized there was no real elegant way to put it. "I just sort of...fell, and then ended up here," she said with a shrug. "Next thing I know, two of my students are explaining why everyone is a pony and why I can't go home. For the sake of my mental health I've given up on trying to understand any of it."

Again the Princess found herself chuckling in the face of behaviors and mannerisms she had long forgotten doing herself. "Well my little...me...that's probably for the best. Inter-dimensional portals can be finicky things and you likely won't be able to return anytime soon. I highly suggest you attempt to enjoy yourself in the mean time, and things will work themselves out when the time comes. Besides, what better place for a vacation than somewhere where you technically made all the rules."

The constant mischievous glint in the Princess' eye seemed to only strengthen as she spoke, and at the mention of the the dreaded word 'vacation', Celestia began to suspect that maybe she knew more about things than she was letting on. She considered trying to probe further, but at the same time she couldn't help but feel like being given cryptic advice from an all knowing immortal goddess was just something that is supposed to happen when you end up in a magic fantasy land.

"You've definitely been reading too many fantasy novels..." she muttered to herself, returning to sipping at the delightful tea.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the pair of Celestias walked out of the room, Luna and Sunset looked at each other with interest, both having noticed their identical reactions to Princess Celestia's words.

"So, what did you do?" Sunset asked carefully, hoping she was understanding the situation correctly.

Luna gave a strained frown at the question, never eager to discuss her time as Nightmare Moon, but figured there had to be some reason her sister had brought attention to it, so with a resigned sigh she answered. "I sort of...let myself get so jealous of my sister that I tried to murder her, take over Equestria, and plunge it into eternal darkness, only to get banished to the moon where I spent 1000 years plotting revenge..." she admitted, feeling the guilt wash over her yet again. "You?"

It was Sunset's turn to squirm somewhat, having only just stopped experiencing reoccurring nightmares starring herself as a murderous demon. "Well I...ran away to another dimension when the Princess wouldn't make me a princess, then I tried to rule over that place like a princess by stealing the element of magic, which then turned me into a demon with a zombie army..."

Both of them at this point were cemented in a cringe and had their eyes closed tight to avoid any judging looks from the other. As each of their stories sunk in however, both slowly relaxed and looked at the other curiously.

"Huh.." was all Luna could think to say, realizing for the first time she had found somepony else that understood what it was like to be feared and avoided for past misdeeds.

"Yeah..." Sunset was at a similar loss for words. Even though her friends and a few other students had forgiven her, quite a few still gave her cold looks and treated her like her old self. For once she felt like she was in the presence of someone she didn't have to prove her reformation to.

Both of them stood silently for a minute, just coming to terms with the slightly awkward but also slightly fantastic feeling of understanding. Finally, a rather foreign question popped into Luna's head.

"Soooo...friends?" she asked, trying and failing miserably to keep her desperate hope from showing in her voice.

"Yeah...I think I'd like that very much." Sunset said almost immediately, a small smile curling her lips.

Luna smiled as well, moving in closer to Sunset and wrapping a navy blue wing around her before moving in to whisper in her ear. "So...do you wanna go steal one sock from every pair my sister owns? I happen to know she has a rather large collection and likes to wear them whenever nobody is around."

Sunset's timid smile immediately spread into a rather predatory looking grin. "Yes, yes I do." Sunset may have been reformed, but she wasn't that reformed.

With what sounded like a miniature version of a supervillain's laugh, Luna grabbed Sunset's hoof and began leading her back towards the royal bedchambers, the two of them leaving just in time to miss hearing a shrill cry ring from the adjacent tea room, though had they heard it, it would have been impossible to tell which white pony was responsible.

"WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? DO I LIKE SOCKS? WHO TOLD YOU!?"

Author's Note

Short chapter this time, but it makes me giggle so I'm happy with it! Hopefully some of you will be fans of our new nefarious duo, ~~as the next chapter will be Intermission 2: Big Trouble in Little Canterlot starring Luna and Sunset~~. Well not the next chapter, but it will happen soon.

For those that haven't seen my blog post, it may be a bit before that chapter ends up getting posted, but gonna do my damndest to finish it asap. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

Thanks to Vanderblast for editing.