My life has been quite complicated as of late.
You can’t imagine how it feels to go to bed one evening and then to wake up in a faraway place, surrounded by a scenery that resembled a far more scarier incarnation of a Scooby Doo episode on crack.
It was dark, nightmarish, and to this day I still don’t want to remember running for my life from what appeared to be a pack of giant, walking, growling and snarling beasts I later discovered from my equine friends (I’ll get into that mind blowing comment in a minute) as ‘timber wolves.'
Of course! That made a whole load of sense since they were made from sticks and logs in the shape of a wolf and as big as a damn car made animate by who knows what kind of magical hell straight out of a fantasy novel.
Wargs got shit on these things. They just don't fucking die.
Later I had come to learn that this forest of death was called the Everfree Forest, which is quite misleading since I can’t imagine anything quite being free in that terrible place, but, that is a different story for another time.
I keep going off on a tangent.
Let’s try this again.
Welcome to Equestria! And welcome to my rather unusual life to which I have lived for the past two years, surrounded by walking, talking pastel colored equines with tattoos which magically appear on their flanks upon discovering their life changing ‘special talent.’
I had to wait until I was eighteen to get my tattoo and these lucky little things get them when they're... I have no idea what horse years are like, so I am just going to say... nine? Ten?
Yeah, I know, crazy right?
The walking and talking part I could somewhat deal with; since clearly I am completely bat shit insane or trapped within one of those magical-adventure comas I have heard people experience after being a victim in some kind of accident, which normally involved some type of head trauma.
I am no doctor, but I am pretty sure you can’t fall into a coma just by going to bloody sleep, but, I am here and it seems like I am not ‘waking up’ anytime soon from this very peculiar hallucination and/or dream.
You could say I adjusted pretty easily after fully accepting my fate… though I still maintain privately that this is still all a figment of my very creative subconscious… although saying that, the law of physics for whatever reason still apply.
I discovered I could not fly with quite painful consequences, thanks to Rainbow Dash.
Anyway, upon arriving here and fleeing that cursed forest, I was fortunate; or perhaps unfortunate enough, to meet with a particular lavender colored pony called Princess Twilight Sparkle, with whom I became immediate friends..
She is the one that has thus far guided me along this strange new world with her ever loyal friends at her side to help her.
I would name off her list of friends but I’d be here forever.
Speaking of friends she has made, Twilight Sparkle claims she has been to the human world herself, but, seemingly in a different dimension to which somewhat parallels their own. I didn’t ask anymore on the subject because that mare can seriously cause an aneurysm if you listen to one of her scientific rants long enough.
I tend to switch off and nod my head as if I knew exactly what she was talking about, which seems to be the port of call for Rainbow Dash whenever she is in the same room as Twilight, whenever that eggheaded mare goes off on one of her long winded explanations.
I am very grateful; don’t get me wrong. She took me under her wing and allowed me to stay within her library’s basement without rent. She fed me (on a strict vegetarian diet mind you) and even clothed me…
Actually, the last part is not exactly true, but thankfully it allows me to link that part of the story with my current situation and jump a whole load of stuff during the process.
Rarity; a part of Twilight’s inner circle of close friends with which she spends almost all of her time, was in fact the mare that had clothed me. She quite literally created a whole fashion line for me to wear and seriously, I am not even joking.
That mare is the biggest fashionista I have ever met in my life.
Well... the biggest equine fashionista I have ever met in my life.
Actually, scratch that… she is the only equine I have ever met obsessed with clothing other equines.
I think I just confused myself.
Moving on!
Rarity runs her own boutique and business and went out of her way (for free mind you) to make a whole range of summer, autumn, winter and spring attires for me to wear throughout the entire year.
Although I am indebted to everyone—uh—pony, I felt a particular attachment to Rarity’s generosity. She really did go out of her way to make sure a; strange, scary human creature no less, had something to wear rather than walk around in tatters.
I mean, I can’t exactly go around naked can I? The original clothing I had arrived here with was a little more than ruined after scrambling through the brambles of the Everfree to escape from those damn wood-wolf things.
So, in spirit of her generosity, I offered my services as a kind of assistant to help her around her boutique, which went down very well with almost everypony except a certain small dragon who still to this day looks at me as if I stole his cookie from his personal cookie jar.
Over the many months working for Rarity, I had come to learn why she is such a great friend and respected by all in the Ponyville community.
However... Rarity is quite the demanding mare.
Seriously.
Her attention to detail is terrifying.
I thought Twilight Sparkle’s lectures and scientific experiments were nerve wracking, but Rarity’s passion was on an entirely different level.
Regardless, I have thus far maintained my duty as her kind of aide, working as her minion; moving heavy loads of fabric and what not, accompanying her to various fashion shows mostly to flaunt me wearing her designs; which I am completely fine with, but… this…
She isn’t trying to set me up on another date again, is she?
“You remember, Coco Pommel, don’t you darling?” Said Rarity in her sing-song sort of manner, which I have come to associate as suspicious.
I mean, this whole situation was just downright suspicious from the get go.
For you see, I am guided to the same hotel when accompanying Rarity to Manehatten (I am still trying to get over that name) that is large enough to accommodate my sleeping habits when compared to my pony friends; though then again, I’m barely an inch over Princess Celestia’s horn, but, I don’t exactly sleep as curled up and snuggly as they do.
I like to stretch out, you know?
I have yet to sleep in a bed that does not involve my legs and arms hanging over the edge.
But let us get back to the problem at hand.
Or hoof…
Why on God’s green Earth am I at this mare’s apartment at nine-thirty in the evening and why do I smell perfume?
It smells like chocolate, actually, which was quite pleasant, as a matter of fact, but let’s just keep that to ourselves, shall we?
“Uh, yeah, Coco, nice to see you again… is there something you need help with? I suppose that is why myself and Rarity are here after all.”
Why is Rarity grinning like she knows something I don’t and why is Coco Pommel; with whom I had the pleasure of meeting once before, blushing like that and has yet to look at me in the eyes?
“Oh, you could say that… i-it’s nice to see you again, David…”
Why am I getting a bad feeling about this?
“Well, if you need help, I’d more than happy to lend a hand, or two.” I spoke trying my best not to sound too suspicious. “Isn’t that right Rarity?”
Wait a minute.
Where is Rarity?
Oh, wait, I see her… on the other end of the hallway waving enthusiastically our way.
I wave back, smiling like an idiot.
It was as I suspected.
Rarity had set me up on another date.
“Have fun darling~!” Sang Rarity with a giggle, disappearing around the corner and from sight, leaving me to my fate.
“This… is what I think it is, right?” I looked to Coco Pommel to realize the mare was now looking at me with hopeful eyes.
Christ.
Here we go again.
I could not help but sigh aloud, trying my best not to look too defeated as I followed Coco Pommel into her apartment.
It was a cozy little space formulated of three rooms, which is expected when you live in the cramped conditions of city life.
A bathroom, living room-kitchenette and a bedroom, and nothing more.
Pretty basic, but not quite far from the student accommodations I was living in back on Earth.
“Would you like to sit? Do you want anything to drink? Water? Cider… um, wine?” Coco Pommeled offered as she slinked over towards one side of the room that blended into the small kitchenette.
I feel like I have suddenly been thrust into the beginnings of a porn movie and considering there is no such thing as porn in this world (involving human actors anyway), you could say my wank material has been limited to my imagination.
“Uh, sure, wine… thanks.” I settled onto the couch, which was actually quite comfortable despite its rough and rather overused state, nervously looking towards Coco as she poured herself and me a glass of red wine each.
I am not going to enjoy this.
I can tell where this is going and it is going to only end up in one or two ways.
Don’t get me wrong; the mare was sweet and kind when I first met her, but this is a little bit ridiculous even for Rarity.
Was she forced into this? Why have I got a feeling that is more than likely the case here.
She just seems too sweet.
Too innocent.
Carrying a tray over and settling the tray down bearing the two drinks upon a small coffee table before the couch, Coco Pommel settled herself on the other end quite some distance from me, nursing her glass of wine between two hooves while I swirled the wine about the glass like some snob, as if I know what I was doing with it.
I am no connoisseur of wine but I kind of know aerating the wine enhanced its flavor, somewhat… or so I was led to believe. Who knows if that is the case.
I took a sip of it, trying my best to be polite.
“This is a really nice apartment you have.” I try to make small talk before the knockout punch of rejection is thrown. Might as well attempt to smooth over the tension in the air, which you could practically cut with a knife at this point.
“Th-thanks, I decorated it myself.”
“Wow. You should do interior design or something. Pretty nice flow you got going on here; not that I know what I am talking about. I can barely link up a matching pair of socks in the morning let alone give advice on interior decorating…”
“Thanks, but I think I’ll stick with fashion. It’s my passion, after all.” Coco Pommel giggled. She couldn't help the rhyme and seemed quite chuffed about it.
It was quite the restrained little giggle that seemed quite right for a lady—I mean mare of her personality. In my opinion, that is. Everything about her just seemed shy, self reserved and yet somehow very honest at the same time.
A curious mixture I have to say that appeals to me. It’s quite attractive. It was a shame she was not human, otherwise I might had been making a move right about now... not that I was any good with the ladies back on Earth.
“From the designs I have seen, you are very good at your job. As good as Rarity, actually. She speaks very highly of you.”
There is that blush again.
Did I just compliment her? Goddamn it. That is the complete opposite to what I want to actually achieve here.
I felt the couch shift as I note out of the corner of my eye Coco’s rather nervous shuffling on the couch, as if what I had said was uncomfortable for her.
“Thank you. If it wasn't for Rarity I don’t think I would have the confidence I have now. I owe a lot to her and I think I can never repay her for everything she has done for me.”
“Snap.” I said without thinking.
“Snap?” Coco Pommel was now looking at me with concern. “Did something snap?”
Nice one brain! Let’s forgo the explanation and just change the subject.
“Oh, nothing… just an Earthling saying… anyway,” I wave it off with a smile, “yeah, Rarity pretty much helped me out of a jam too. Which is why I am working for her. Even if I refuse payment, she still ends up insisting she pays me regardless of what I say.”
“She is a very generous pony. Very kind, too. I think she’d give her life for anypony if given the chance..” Coco sipped her wine, before muttering to herself. “She speaks very highly of you too. She says you’re nice, kind hearted and really good with foals.”
“Yeah… back on Earth I used to have a lot of little cousins so I suppose I got used to being around children. They’re easier to manage than adults. I actually wanted to be a teacher for the longest of times, but… I never really had the grades to go through with it.”
“I admire that about you.”
It was my turn to blush.
“Th-thanks… it’s nothing really, though… there's nothing wrong with being a talking equine's aide, either.”
This is not going according to plan.
I need to hit the nail on the head while I still can. At least then it won’t be looking like I am misleading her in any shape or form. “Coco I—”
“I-I love you.”
What?
“E-excuse me?”
Did I just hear that right?
“Ever since I… I saw you I just…” Coco Pommel was staring into her glass.
I was just staring at her.
This was new.
Sure, during these surprise dates I am tricked into, there is often a measure of: ‘I find you interesting’ or ‘would you like to go out with you,’ but never in my life even back on earth have I had such a straight up heartfelt confession.
I just don’t know what to do in a situation like this.
I can’t find any words.
My mind is just blank and I just can’t seem to speak.
Damn it, brain! Wake up!
“David I… I know this is sudden, but I have never really felt anything this strong for anypony before. I mean sure… I've had crushes and things... but when I first saw you? I just… Deep down inside, I just knew I could see myself growing old with you, for reasons I can’t really explain.”
“Listen, Coco… Where I’m from—”
“I know.”
I looked at her, quite perplexed. “You know?”
“I know. Rarity told me.”
Internally I facepalmed.
That mare… she’s going to be the death of me. What else did she tell her?
Do I want to know?
“She explained to me it would be wrong for you to feel an attraction towards us ponies, because where you are from it is considered taboo… I understand that but, you’re here in Equestria now, so you don’t need to care about that anymore. I am sorry to ambush you like this but I just couldn't keep you out of my head. I’d feel like I would regret it for the rest of my life if I did not say anything to you.”
I swallowed hard.
“Can I ask why?”
“The way you so politely shook my hoof the first time we met with those gentle ‘fingers’ of yours; the way you smiled with a grin that at first terrified me and yet somehow strangely excited the more I thought about it. It was, kind of... comforting? I didn't know what to think, but after confessing my feelings about you to Rarity, she really helped me work out what all of it meant, so I asked her to bring you here today and… she did give me fair warning that you would reject me, but, I just had to try. I needed to be confident.”
So this wasn’t Rarity’s doing at all? This was all set up based on Coco’s need to confess her feelings towards me… even if she knew I would say no.
The more I learn about this, the more unsure I am of how to react.
How do you react to a situation like this?
“I asked her lots of things. Like the wine… I mean, I don’t even like wine, I’m more of a cider pony myself. I thought maybe if I could make you more relaxed before I confessed, maybe you would perhaps change your mind about… trying it with me? I know it’s silly of me to think that and I’m sorry I deceived you, but... I was kind of desperate. I can't apologize enough.”
I knew Coco Pommel was never this confident in the past. Rarity relayed some information about the mare to me upon first meeting her, but I never expected this level of bravery to come from such a shy looking mare.
“Coco… I’m not quite sure what to say.”
“Before you say anything, I just…” I could almost feel the sadness in her voice.
It is seriously breaking my heart that my impending rejection was going to crush such a sweet mare.
I felt like such a douchebag before the confession, but right now? I can’t even describe how rotten I feel.
“Wait here.” Coco stood up from the couch and trotted her way to her bedroom, leaving me alone on the couch by myself to fully comprehend what had just happened.
I don’t think I will ever experience anyone going so far out of their way to confess their feelings towards me, ever again. A part of me felt honored beyond measure while the other half just simply screamed out that singular phrase I have used as an excuse so many times, since arriving in Equestria.
It’s wrong.
Time to build up some confidence before I sour the mood.
Thank God she left that bottle of wine behind.
I resisted the urge to drink straight of the bottle, pouring myself a heavy measure of the red liquid, wondering exactly how I should phrase the rejection. I have to be as gentle as possible. I can't just out flat deny her, get up and leave like I have done in the past.
I have to do this right.
Let’s just be friends?
No. That’s the typical response. She deserves a better excuse...
I’m sorry, but, I just can’t imagine myself being with something outside of my own species?
That doesn’t sound any better, either!
“David?”
Perfectly, she decided to speak as I took a sip. It was safe to say she had startled me with her sudden reappearance, but what generated a further shock to the system was what she was wearing.
Standing in the doorway of her bedroom, Coco Pommel shifted nervously on her hooves, wearing a set of black lacy socks that tightly covered her legs and a pair of equally snug panties clinging to her flank. The black bow-tied ribbon on her tail was also a nice touch—what the hell did I just think?!
The wine practically erupted out of my nose, forcing me to splutter and unable to breathe for a few seconds.
“Do… Do I look silly?” Coco asked me, clearly unsure of herself.
“No…”I said, clearly dumbstruck.
“Then… you like it?”
I am going to whatever pony version of hell they have for this, but, honestly? She doesn't look that half bad.
Who am I kidding? Either it is because I have not been able to look at proper porn in ages or Rarity has finally corrupted my mind with her talk of settling down with another pony.
The ensemble along with her nervous demeanor is incredibly hot, though.
For what ever reason, I can't take my eyes off of her.
"Yeah... you look... good... no, better than good. You look really beautiful."
I can't deny it.
To do so would be dishonest.
Author's Note
My first ever clopfic in a first person style, with a HiE concept. I don't know what I am doing, either, so I apologize if it isn't that great.
Next chapter is going to be the clop.
Slap that like button with your pimp hand, hate, flame, save my mortal soul from pony hell or let it burn, it is all good.
