Disorientated

by misskoifishpony

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Starlight Glimmer, Random, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other
Length: 1994

What if our favorite Lord of Chaos visits the cutiemark-less town before the Mane 6 did?

Story Request by Autistic Writer
What if our favorite Lord of Chaos visits the cutiemark-less town before the Mane 6 did?

Published 2015-04-10 13:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-10 13:00:01 UTC

Disorientated

Author's Note

MissKoi does not own MLP, for it belongs to it's respective owners and creators. MissKoi also doesn't own the references made in this story.

Disorientated

A traveling dirt trail was carving through the vast and empty middle of nowhere in Equestria. It looked as if a large Jack rabbit was digging a tunnel to Maresouri. However, this rabbit trail came to a quick end when it reached the edge of a cliff. A cliff looking over a small and quiet town.

A head, bigger than a rabbit's, popped out of the dirt trail tunnel. It was a greyish goat head with mismatched antlers and a thick black zebra mane. The head turned left...then right...

"Odd," Discord pondered aloud, "This doesn't look like The Gallop Mountains."

The Lord of Chaos pulls on his head in order to pull his body out of the ground. With a snap of his lion paw, he summons a brown paper thin map. He flips his head upside down and turns the map sideways.

"Hmmm, now let's see here...Ah! There is! I knew that I should have turned left at Applelosa."

With the map poofed away, Discord flips his head right side up. His eyes took a closer look at the boring town at the bottom of the cliff.

"What's this?"

The draconquues turned his eyes into binoculars and zoomed in one the little houses. The cottages were stacked side by side too closely to one another...each one identical to the other...and each dreadfully boring. There was only two rows of these cottages and they perfectly paralleled one another. But what caught Discord's attention were the ponies.

Each pony had the same, equal sign cutie mark. Each pony had short, confining mane cuts and pale complexion coats that can make a clown weep. A devilish smirk slowly developed on Discord's face.

"Oh my... HA HA HA! Oh this is just too good to pass up!

POOF! Discord teleports himself off the cliff.

Meanwhile, a pale blue unicorn named Party Favor was walking near the edge of town. In order to make sure the plants were growing evenly and nicely with the look of the town. As Starlight requested. And Party Favor was happy to do it.

He was humming along, enjoying the perfect and fair day. Then, Party Favor came across a cactus. A very tall cactus with pink flowers blooming on top of it's head. He casually approached the plant with a large pair of garden cutters.

He opened those sharp cutters wide open and right when they were about to slice the cactus...a voice said "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

Party Favor freeze. He cautiously looks up, hoping that it was just the heat playing tricks on him. Close to the top of the cactus was a pair of yellow and red eyes with white eyebrows...staring at him.

Party Favor drops his cutters and gasps at the plant talking to him.

"Boo."

The terrified unicorn screams at the top of his lungs, while galloping towards his town, "Aaaahhhh! Help! Something different! Something different!"

The Discord crosses his prickly arms and smirks, "Well, that's new."

Party Favor runs into the middle of town screaming his head off. And this immediately alarms every pony out of their usual activities and watch Party Favor panic. The pale blue unicorn's retreat soon ends when he bumps into some pony.

"Oh my! Party Favor! Are you alright?!" said a very concern Starlight Glimmer.

Party Favor explains while the town leaders helps him get back up, "I-It was...horrible! It-It didn't make sense! It was...something different!"

"My my, you're too kind."

Every pony gasp when Discord, in his draconquees form, randomly appears behind Party Favor and Starlight Glimmer.

"Stay behind me every pony!" Starlight commanded like a mother calling out to her foals. And the civilians did not hesitant to hide behind her and gather in a tight huddle.

Discord smiles at them mischievously, waiting for his new 'friends' to react some more. Because so far, their reactions were simply hysterical to him.

Starlight then whispers to her town's ponies, "N-Not to worry every pony, I'll handle this."

She slowly yet carefully walks up to the draconequus, trying to make sure to not make any missteps. Her little town watched in horror as their beloved leader approaches her doom.

The pink unicorn clears her throat before starting her conversation with Discord. She brightly smiles while over-enunciating, "Welcome honored guest! To our little town! I'm Starlight Glimmer, what's your name?"

Discord mimics Starlight exaggerated speech pattern and smile, "I'm Discord, The Lord of Chaos!"

"Lord of...C-Chaos?" she stuttered in a frightened tone.

"My card."

Discord poofs up a white card and hands it to the pink unicorn. It had Discord's name, his Lord of Chaos title, and a picture of him giving a cheesy thumbs up in a blue business suit.

"But don't worry though, I'm reformed now. So, I only spread around the good kind of chaos."

"There's no such thing as good chaos!" Starlight disagreed, "The only good thing in this world is harmony and friendship. And that can only be achieved when we're all equal."

Starlight finished her speech with a triumphant smile. She felt proud in giving an important lesson to this lost and chaotic soul. She waited for his admiration and praise, but instead she got laughter. Horrible, mocking, gut-bursting laughter.

Discord laughed so hard that he floated high above their heads and let the laughter take him anywhere. In between his chuckled, he uttered "You're sooo precious my dear! So naive! So ignorant! But still so precious! Although, you're not as precious as my dear Fluttershy of course."

"Naive?! What do you mean that I'm naive?!"

Poof! Discord magically summons a small elementary school classroom before her eyes. She forces her into the tiny desk and chair, places a white pointed dunce cap on her head, and directs her attention to the chalk board. Discord is dressed in a black rove, with a black graduate cap and tiny reading glasses on his muzzle. With magical levitating chalk, he writes on the board the word "naive" and some other words underneath it.

Discord reads aloud in a scholarly tone, "Naive. Having or showing a lack of experience or knowledge. Innocent. Simple."

"I know what naive means! And I'm telling you that I'm not naive!"

Discord poofs away the classroom and his get-up with a smile. He remarks to Starlight in a sing-song voice, "Only naive ponies say that!"

"BE QUIET!"

Her face was red and furious. She used all her breath to shush up the draconequus. Her eyes were piercing through Discord's eyes. What brought her out of her angry state of mind was the feeling of some pony staring at her from behind.

She turned around and witnessed all of her beloved town watching her with terror in their eyes. She took a deep breath in and returned to smiling at Discord, "What I meant to say was...you must be confused. But not to worry,we have all been confused once too. And we can help you."

"Oh no, my dear, it is you that needs my help."

With a snap of his talon, he turns one of the houses into a giant rubber duckie.

"My house!" a white stallion named Double Diamond exclaimed.

"You see," Discord explained, "with chaos, you get to have fun things like...a rubber duckie as your house."

Double Diamond inhaled and exhaled slowly, in order to calm his now rising hysteria. But this was, unfortunately, unsuccessful. Starlight Glimmer placed her hoof on his shoulder and cooed "It's okay Double Diamond, deep breaths. Deep breaths."

Discord then added "Still don't believe me? Well then...how about this?"

SNAP! The earth slowly rumbled and shaked underneath the ponies' hooves. They looked behind them and found a giant herd of cute fluffy bunnies, with deer antlers on their heads, charging towards them.

Every pony screamed at the sight of these strange but adorable creatures. One of the mares in the crowd shouted while pointing at the jackalopes, "That's not right! That's not right!"

Soon, all the equal sign ponies were running around in circles all over town. To Discord, they looked like chickens being spooked by a lighting storm in the distance. Meanwhile, the jackalopes were calmly and sweetly following the ponies around. As if begging for their attention and love.

Starlight was in the center of this madness, trying to calm down every pony "C-Calm down, wait! No! Just..calm down every pony! Everything is alright, there's no reason to lose our heads over this."

Another mare screams while galloping from the horned bunny following her, "Make it go away! Make it go away!"

Discord smiled, like the little prankster he is, while holding one of the jackalopes in his arm. "Or...if animals aren't your thing, maybe some elevation would change your minds?"

SNAP! The earth shook underneath their hooves once more. Slowly yet progressively, the town rose high into the air. Starlight immediately noticed the shift of scenery surrounding around the borders of town. She went to one of the town borders and witnessed Discord's magic lifting their land to the sky. She began to panic. She didn't know what to do!

She looked back at the civilians and saw them still running away from the deer antler rabbits that were following them innocently.

Then, Discord grabbed her attention. The wacky creature was sitting at a poker table with a jackalope in the middle of town. He had a green poker face on his forehead and he was concentrating on a set of cards in his claw.

"Got any threes?"

The rabbit shakes his head no.

Starlight pleads out to Discord, "Discord! Stop this! This is just madness!"

"What's the magic word?" he replied in a sing song voice.

"YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME?!"

"I can't hear you."

"Fine! Please Discord, stop this!"

"See? Was that so hard?"

With a snap of his tail feathers, he safely returned the town back to the ground and turned everything back to normal. No more bunnies and no rubber duckie houses.

"My house!" Double Diamond cheered, "It's back to normal! Oh, how I've missed you!" Then, he gallops to the front side of his cottage, and hugs it tenderly along with a few quick kisses.

"My my,"Discord pointed out with a smile, "you ponies can't handle change. Can you?"

Starlight gently reminds the draconequus with a tired smile and a twitching eye, "I think it's time for you to go Mr. Discord. It's pretty obvious that our little town isn't the right fit for you."

While Starlight pushes Discord towards the borders of the town with her head, the chaotic Lord of Chaos teases "Aw, giving up on me so soon. Oh shoot, and I thought we were going to be friends."

Starlight stops in her forceful pushing, and looks up at him with a crazy cross eyed look in her eye. As if wait for something else to happen. Discord had to contain his chuckles to himself in order for this mad mare to not attack.

"Fine fine, I can take a hint. I'll be on my way, but, before I go...I'll shall leave you all with a little parting gift."

With a snap of his lion paw, he put Starlight and the towns ponies into an hypnotic trance. With his hands flowing, he commanded aloud "You will forget all that you've seen today, except for one thing. Remember that change is only the inevitable."

Starlight's, Sugar Belle's, Night Glider's, Double Diamond's, and Party Favor's eyes all widen.

Discord's hands stopped glowing and he poofed himself away from the town. The little crazy ponies and their equally crazy leader went to their normal routines.

Discord decided to visit Fluttershy and the girls at the new castle in Ponyville. He just couldn't wait to tell them all about his new friends.

The End