Zoophilia

by AleneShazam

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Romance, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 1219

Twilight asked me out. I responded the only way I could.

I've been in Equestria for exactly one year. I still don't know how I got here, but ever since that fateful day, I've bunked with local librarian Twilight Sparkle, making my living doing odd jobs around town and getting into the occasional world-saving adventure. Life seemed to finally be settling down, I got an offer for a stable (heh) job, I had saved up enough for my own house, and as the only human in Equestria, I'm a bit of a celebrity.

And then Twilight asked me out.

Published 2015-04-10 19:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-10 19:50:02 UTC

Zoophilia

I blinked, my mouth working silently as I tried to process what Twilight said.

Did she just... ask me out? Still trying to wrap my head around the situation, I replayed the events leading up to the shocking statement in my mind.

Twilight had been abnormally quiet the whole morning, even more than her usual book-absorbed self. When Twilight read, she often muttered excerpts of the book, so that if someone were to sit next to her, they'd figure out at least the gist of what she was reading. Today, her behavior was odd, to say the least. Whenever I glanced at her, she'd resolutely avoid eye-contact in what she probably believed to be an inconspicuous manner. Not to mention blush bright red every time I spoke to her, and respond in a barely contained squeal.

My eyes widened as I pieced the clues together, thinking back further into the past.

Ever since winter wrap up, where you and her worked together to banish the windigo delaying spring's arrival, she had been acting incredibly oddly. Not only did she stammer a lot more when speaking to me, she blushed, squeaked, was easily startled, seemed almost paranoid about her possessions, and hung around me far more than was necessary. Initially I was rather concerned for her, asking the rest of the girls for advice, but they all seemed to think she was fine. More than fine, even, as Rarity had suggested with a bit of a sly look on her face. That was the second hint I had, and probably the one that really started off my suspicions. After that Twilight's mannerisms grew increasingly more intense, until she reminded me of how I used to act before I finally grew a pair and asked my girlfriend out... Oh.

Finally, my mind returned to the near-present, repeating the words she had said to me.

Twilight shifted uncomfortably, her saddlebags bulging out suspiciously. She had sidled up to the stand I was watching over, after wandering around the marketplace for almost half an hour, shooting frequent glances over at my stall. "Do you... uhm, have a minute?" She mumbled, her eyes not meeting mine. "I need to talk to you about... something." I looked around the largely empty marketplace, and nodded, drawing a canvas sheet over the produce to secure them. Once I was sure the stall was safe, I got out of the cashier's place and followed Twilight, whose gaze was locked directly forwards. She stiffly headed towards the library, with me following behind her.

Once the library's oak doors were closed behind us, Twilight set her saddlebags down on a table and gave a shuddering breath. "So. Uh. Anon." She said, her face flushed. "Remember... the day you arrived?"

I grimaced, recalling the flash of searing light that brought me to this alien land. "No, I don't remember that traumatic, life-changing, once-in-a-lifetime event. Of course I do, why?"

Twilight winced, seemingly put off by my negative reaction. "Do you remember what I said to you that night, when you finally... settled down?"

"You mean when I stopped freaking out and acting like a total retard? Yeah. You said that even if I was a human, you and the girl's would treat me like one of your own."

"Like a friend." Twilight said, her voice almost a whisper with how quiet she was being. "I said that we would treat you not as an alien, but as a friend."

I nodded. "What about it? Oh shit, this isn't about Spring break, is it? I already apologized to Rarity, and it was mostly Pinkie's fault..."

"No, no! This isn't - it's not... about that." Twilight said, waving her hooves in a panicked fashion. "It's... um, about us."

"Us? If you mean the sleeping arrangements, I'm happy to announce that I'm making plans for moving out, once I've got a stable job..."

"No!" Twilight suddenly shouted, bolting upright. When she caught sight of my raised eyebrow, she quickly sank back down to her previous position, head bowed slightly and tail tucked in between her legs. "I meant - uh - that - won't be necessary!"

"Why won't that be necessary? I can't just mooch off you forever, I gotta have my own life eventually, right?"

"But we can share it!" Twilight blurted out, before she slapped her hooves over her muzzle with a panicked expression on her face.

My arched eyebrow somehow managed to raise even higher. "We already share a house, Twi. That's exactly why I'm getting my own place..."

"No, I meant life! We can, uh...!" Twilight's words trailed off into an embarrassed squeak. "Anonwillyougooutwithme?"

I stared down at Twilight, melted into a blushing lavender puddle at my feet. "You... uh, sure that's what you wanted to say?"

Twilight nodded furiously, still refusing to meet my eyes. Understandably, now. The hints were probably obvious to anyone not completely oblivious like myself. "You want to, uh, go you with me." She nodded again, her cheeks somehow getting even redder despite her already reaching beet lever redness.

Her horn glowed, and from inside her saddlebags she drew... a bouquet of roses, and shoved them into my hands. I blinked, looking down at the bouquet, not sure how to react. Twilight wasn't... bad looking, to be perfectly honest. She was incredibly adorable - as most ponies were - and she definitely had a charming personality. She was kind but not overbearing, funny but not crude, intelligent but not snobbish - she was as good as girlfriend material got. Except...

"Twilight... I never told you much about my old home. You like big words, right? I have a word from home for you." I finally said, scratching the back of my head with a free hand as I put the bouquet down on the table where she had her bag. I wasn't sure if this was the best way to go about it. But it was the first thing that popped in to my brain. And my brain... was dumb. Damn it.

She glanced up at me, expectantly. "See... ponies existed, back home. But they're kinda... different. When a human and a pony fall in love, it's called Zoophilia."

Twilight scrunched up her muzzle. "We have that word too. Zoophilia, a condition in which a pony has a sexual attraction to an... animal?!" She jerked back in shock.

"Ponies back home... they're animals. Not human. And now, even when I know full well that you're sentient beings I can't... I just can't. I'm sorry, Twilight. I can't get over the fact that you're... not... human." I finished, lamely. I knew immediately that I had hurt her. Deeply. I cringed inside, and I desperately tried to salvage the situation. "It's one thing to be friends, but to be romantically involved..."

"It's... it's fine. You don't have to... to..." Twilight shuddered, her voice quivering. "Explain yourself...!"

At that, she turned her head away and leaped to her feet, galloping out of the library at full speed.

When her hoof-steps finally faded away, I slammed a fist into the table, shaking it and causing the bouquet of roses to come undone, the flowers rolling off the wrapping and onto the floor.

Author's Note

Does this make me racist?