How I Took Over Equestria in 7 Steps

by Godson

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Other
Length: 5338

When dared to do the impossible. Godson must find a way to take over Equestria, in order to avoid being called retarded. This won't end well.

Entry for Rage Review's "F*** THIS PROMPT! #2!"

Now "reviewed" at ReadingSins!
Also reviewed at The Pleasant Commentator and Review Group!

Godson is dared by a friend to take over Equestria. Equipped with only his phone, he'll have to figure out how to complete his dare in order to avoid complete and utter stupidity with his friends.

Unless it's too much work. Then he'll probably give up.

Because lazy.

----------------------

YES, THIS IS A SELF INSERT. I ACTUALLY ACT LIKE THIS. (Edit: SOMETIMES.)

NO REGRETS.

If you haven't realized yet. This story isn't meant to be taken...seriously. If you came for a good laugh, you've come to the right place. Otherwise, you may want to run away. You've been warned.

Published 2015-04-12 00:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-12 00:30:01 UTC

Step 1

Godson: uwotm8

Shadow: yeah. I dare you to take over equestria.

Godson: And… How do you expect me to do that?

Shadow: idfk. That’s why I dared you.

Godson: It’s a cartoon world. How am I supposed to even get there?

Shadow: By screwing logic?

Godson: ._.

Godson: So let me get this straight. You’re daring me to break logic, enter Equestria, and try to take over?

Shadow: Yep.

Godson: …

Shadow: So?

Godson: ‘kay yeah, fine. I’ll do it.

Shadow: gg.

//////

Godson groaned softly at at his skype window. He reread through the chat, hoping to find some sense in what had just occurred. Unfortunately, he wasn’t able to do so. His hand met his face as he sighed in disappointment, staining his glasses in the process.

Minutes later, he removed his hand from his face, and grabbed his laptop’s screen. With a soft clap, his laptop was closed. He grabbed his nearby smartphone, searching for an application he may need to keep handy.

Notes.

He opened the application, preparing his notes for the “dare” he was given to do. He didn’t know how he was going to do it, and yet, he didn’t care. A small, virtual keyboard appeared on the screen. Then, he began to type.

Take Over Equestria.

Dunno how dafuq I’m gonna do this, or even WHY I’m doing it. But meh, why not?

Step 1. Go to Equestria...Somehow.

“Meh.” He spoke. “Sounds like too much work.” He looked behind him, focusing only on the bed in his view.

“Maybe I’ll lay down for a minute…” He yawned, stretching his arms out as he did so.

He got up from his chair, and slowly walked to his bed. When he got close enough, he let himself fall down into the bed. He bounced on the soft bed below, then proceeded to get himself comfortable.

“I need to think… How would I even get to a cartoon world…?” He asked himself. “Heh, ‘by screwing logic’, he says. That’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard.”

“I’ll figure something out…” He said softly, slowly drifting into slumber. “...eventually.”

//////

“Is it alive…?” a faint voice asked.

“I’m not sure…” Another voice replied. “I think it’s breathing… whatever it is…”

“D-do you think it’s a n-nice creature?” Another voice timidly spoke.

“It could be.” Another voice answered. “I wouldn’t take my chances though.”

Godson groaned, raising his hand to his head.

“It’s moving!”

“Wha?” His eyes jerked open upon realization. He looked around, then quickly jerked himself up into a sitting position.

The first thing he noticed was Twilight and her friends were standing right in front of him. Then, he realized he was right where he needed to be.

Equestria.

“How the…” Godson muttered to himself.

“Well, at least we know it can talk.” Rainbow Dash commented.

“Hmph. Aren’t you rude?” Godson countered, crossing his arms.

“Ignore her.” Twilight said, her horn emitting a purple light. Suddenly, a piece of tape appeared, and was slapped onto Dash’s mouth. “None of us have seen a creature like you.” Twilight got closer to his face. “What are you…?”

Godson immediately pushed Twilight away from him. “Woah there. Stay out of my space.” He grumbled. “You see this?” He gestured his hands around in a circle shape. “This is my space. I don’t let many people enter this space.”

“People?” Twilight cocked her head.

“Err… Right. You’ve never seen a human before.” Godson concluded.

“A… whoman?” Pinkie attempted to repeat.

“Close enough.” Godson shrugged. Shortly afterwards, he remembered something. He reached for his pocket, and grabbed his phone, quickly checking his notes.

Step 1. Go to Equestria...Somehow.

“Uh. What are you doing?” Twilight queried nervously.

“Huh?” Godson looked at Twilight, then back at his phone. “Oh. It’s nothing, really. It’s just my phone.”

Twilight’s eyes narrowed, having her question still unanswered.

Godson realized she was waiting for an explanation. “...You don’t have phones here. Right.” He thought aloud. “Well, uh, it’s how us humans are able to communicate with one another from far away.”

Dash ripped off the tape that was stuck to her mouth. “So basically, a letter.”

“Not really.” Godson shook his head. “Letters usually take one to four days to arrive at the recipient's house. Depending on how far away said recipient actually is.”

“So then what’s so special about your machine?” Twilight raised an eyebrow.

“I’m able to contact them in real-time.” Godson concluded. He looked back at his phone, writing something else to his notes.

Step 1. Err… Check?

Dafuq do I do for step 2?

“So uh…” He started speaking once more, “...can anyone explain how I got here?”

“Funny.” Dash rolled her eyes. “We were getting ready to ask you the same thing.”

Godson thought about what she had said for a moment, then quickly realized what was happening.

“H-hold on a sec. You don’t really think I’m here to hurt any of you, do you?” He worriedly asked.

“I dunno.” Twilight shrugged, “Are you?”

Godson stopped to think about the past events leading up to now. He was dared to take over Equestria, then he wrote notes on his phone. Then, he got tired, and fell asleep on his bed.

But was he here to hurt them?

“Err… No.” He replied. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

“That’s reassuring. I suppose.” Twilight said to herself. “So, you don’t know how you got here…”

“Correct.”

“So that means you also have no idea how to return home?” Twilight inquired.

“Corre—oh geez.” Godson interrupted himself, as if he hadn’t realized enough shocking details, he quickly realized his situation. He was stranded on a semi-familiar new world, and no way back to his own.

“Hm.” Twilight placed a hoof on her chin. “Well, it appears you’re stuck here until I can figure out something.”

“Gee, how convenient.” Godson thought.

“So. What’s your name?” Twilight got closer to him, avoiding his ‘space’ that he mentioned.

Godson quickly thought how he would answer her question. Would he use his online alias? Or use his real name?

“Just call me Godson.” He said, softly smiling at he did so.

“Well, I’d offer you a place to stay, Godson. But I kinda don’t have room at the library at the moment.” Twilight frowned slightly.

“So then uh... “ Godson looked towards each of her friends, whom were being unusually silent (even Pinkie, who was the most unusual.), then back at Twilight. “Where the heck am I staying?”

“Uh…” Twilight uttered, then looked back at one of her friends. “Applejack?”

Applejack looked at Twilight, who was trying to hint something to her. Soon enough, she got the hint, then spoke up.

“If you’re gonna stay at the barn, Gordon.” Applejack began.

“Godson.” He corrected.

“Whatever.” Applejack made a shooing gesture with her hoof. “You’re gonna have to help around in the farm. Y’know, pull your own weight.”

“Is there another option?” Godson quickly spoke, attempting to avoid working.

Unfortunately for him, everyone was silent.

“...Great.”

Step 2

Godson looked at his phone, checking to see if his phone had died.

Battery: 100%

“Lucky me.” He thought. He brought up the virtual keyboard, and added more to his notes.

Step 2: Befriend the Mane 6. (This will most likely help make Step 3 just a tad easier.)

“Gordon!” Applejack called out. “Quit slackin’ around!”

Godson sighed, locking his phone, and returning it back to it’s home: his pocket. He walked off to the tree Applejack had been standing near.

“So uh… What is it I’m supposed to do again?” He asked.

“You just gotta buck the tree.” Applejack repeated herself for the third time. “How is that so hard to understand?”

“Okay, so I gotta f—wait what?” Godson did a doubletake.

“You buck the darn tree!” Applejack rolled her eyes and groaned in frustration. “Do you need me to demonstrate?”

“Yes.” Godson quickly replied.

Applejack blinked, until she had figured that he wouldn’t know what applebucking is. She then turned around, raised her hind legs, and slowly retracted them. Then, she kicked the tree with every ounce of force she could give it. With that, every apple in the tree had fallen into the basket.

Godson’s eyes widened. Unsure of how Applejack expected him to even do what she had just done in front of him.

“Now you try.” Applejack said. “Go buck that there tree.” She pointed to a nearby tree.

Godson turned around, walking to the tree Applejack specifically pointed to. And tried to mimic what he’d seen.

He first rested his hands on the ground, raised his legs, retracted them, then kicked the tree with the little strength he had. He then quickly stood up, hoping that the apples would fall on the basket.

Nothing had happened.

“‘Kay, so that didn’t work.” Godson thought out loud. Glaring at Applejack, whom was already giving him an irritated look. “Hang on, lemme try something.”

He pulled back his arm, then proceeded to punch the tree. He hurt his hand in the process, and it only made himself look more like an idiot. He winced in pain, and began shaking his hand while randomly shouting “Ow!” every so often.

He then proceeded to kick the tree with one leg. “Stupid tree!” He hissed in anger. Suddenly, an apple had fallen on his head with a loud “bonk” sound. He looked up at the tree, pissed off at everything that had occurred.

“Gordon?” Applejack said, stifling a chuckle. “How do you humans usually get your apples from trees?”

“We just pick them right off the tree.” Godson replied, rubbing his head to ease the pain. “It takes a while, but that’s why we usually have more than one person helping out.”

“So you take each and every apple out… one by one?” Applejack inquired, her mouth slightly agape as she finished.

“Pretty much.” Godson nodded.

Applejack sighed, her hoof meeting her face as she tried to figure out what to do next.

“Alright.” She began, “Tell ya what. You can go on and forget about your chores for today. I’m gonna go figure out how we could make things any easier for ya, seeing how you can’t even buck a tree.”

“Uh… Alright?” Godson replied with a questioning glare. “I’ll uh… I’ll see ya later.”

//////

Godson looked at his phone once more, adding more notes.

Applejack: I failed to f--buck a tree. So she tried not to laugh at me.

Pinkie Pie: Should be easy to befriend her because, well, Pinkie.

Twilight: Meh. I can safely assume I'm placed either before Season 4 starts, or during it. So I think I might be able to pull something off.

Rarity: FABULOUS DARLING. (I hate fashion.)

Fluttershy: This will take me a while.

Rainbow Dash: Well crap, this will probably be the hardest one to befriend. Simply because she’s already skeptical of me.

Perhaps I don’t have to befriend each and every single one of the Mane 6. Maybe just Twilight?

He locked the phone, and returned it to its home. He eventually made his first stop at Sugarcube Corner, in order to attempt to do the easiest thing in all of Equestria.

The minute he walked into the bakery, he was attacked with streamers, temporarily blinding him until he removed them all from his face. Once he had done so, he had immediately found Pinkie Pie already intruding in his space.

“Surprise!” She shouted. “I figured you’d come here, so I put out a whole bunch of balloons, and baked a cake, and some cupcakes, and I got EVERYPONY invited to the party!”

“Party?” Godson repeated, trying to comprehend what he had just heard.

“Duh!” Pinkie tapped on his head, “Anypony in there? It’s your ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party!”

Godson began looking at his surroundings. A mix of red and blue balloons were set all over the bakery, anyone who was curious of the ‘new creature’ was here, and so was Twilight. He figured she was here most likely to explain what he is and why he’s here in the first place. At the top of it all, was a sign that read: “Welcome to Ponyville, Godson!”

“First off: How in the heck did you know red and blue were my favorite colors?” He began, “Second: I don’t think this party is really necessa— OOOH Chocolate Cake!”

“They don’t call me the best party planner in Ponyville for nothing!” Pinkie cheered with a bounce. Giggling at the human’s reaction to the cake.

Godson was nearly drooling over the cake. He quickly snapped out of it, and rushed for a nearby plate. He grabbed a slice of the cake, and began eating it.

“As I was saying…” Godson spoke, taking another spoonful of cake. “Holy crap this cake is goo—erm, I don’t think this party is necessary. I mean, seriously, there’s not a ton special about me.” He set his plate down in a nearby table, then gestured his hands around him. “I mean, look at me. I’m… meh.” He quickly grabbed his plate, and continued eating.

Pinkie giggled at his response. “Silly Goddy, everypony deserves a party!”

“Godson.” He attempted to correct. “Bu—”

Pinkie was nowhere to be seen.

“Holy crap she’s gone.” He stated out the obvious in a dumbfounded manner.

“So, Godson…” Twilight walked up to him. “You’re here earlier than I expected.” She raised an eyebrow. “Did something happen at the farm?”

“An apple fell on my head.” Godson said flatly. “That’s all you need to know.”

“That bad, huh?” Twilight snickered.

“If you were there to see what happened, you probably wouldn’t be laughing.” Godson retorted.

“Was it really that bad?” Twilight wondered, sitting down next to him.

“...I tried to buck a tree.” Godson crossed his arms. “That didn’t work, so I punched the tree in anger. I hurt my hand, so then I kicked the tree. Then the apple fell on my head.” He looked at Twilight after his explanation, whom was already trying to hold back a laugh or two.

“Then Applejack made that same face you’re making.” Godson pointed out. Twilight jumped a bit when she realized what she was doing.

“So then it was that bad.” Twilight concluded. “Godson, what skills would you say you have?”

“Skills?” Godson repeated, unsure whether he should answer the question or not.

“What are you good at, back home?” Twilight narrowed her eyes, dumbing down the question enough for him.

“I know what skills are.” Godson narrowed his eyes in an attempt to retort. “I just never thought you’d care.”

“Well, I was tempted to ask you to help me out with a couple of things.” Twilight nudged him. “Y’know, try to get you a job that you’re good at?”

“I can’t royalty, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Godson stated flatly. “To be honest, I’m not very good at much… I can English, but.”

“You ‘can’t royalty’, but you ‘can English’?” Twilight cocked her head, “That isn’t even gr—”

“Grammatically correct?” Godson interrupted. “I’m aware. Anyway, I guess... the only thing I could do is help Pinkie around the bakery. Since I’m a bit random at times, and, well... Cake. It's not that hard... I think...”

“Hm.” Twilight placed her hoof on her chin. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Great!” Godson cheered, taking another slice of cake, then looking back at Twilight. “When do yo—”

Twilight was nowhere to be seen, much like what happened with Pinkie.

“Of course…”

Step 3 and Step 4

Month 2: omfg this is taking forever edition.

Applejack: ...so-so?

Pinkie Pie: CHOOOOOOOCOLAAAAAATE. (Yes.)

Rarity: She made me new clothes, so yes?

Fluttershy: She was able to give me a chance to take care of her animals. As soon as she closed the door, they looked like they were about to rape me. Luckily I was safe. (Long story short: Maybe?)

Rainbow Dash: GOTTA GO FAST. (That was a bad joke. She’s less skeptical of me, but we’re not exactly “friends” either.)

Twilight: Err… Yes. (Long story short, she knows my situation, and is trying to get me back home.)

ONTO STEP 3.

Step 3: Steal the Elements of Harmony. (qq)

As long as they don’t have the Elements of Harmony, they can’t Deus Ex Machina my arse. (I hope.) I could always take just the Element of Magic, and that miiiight leave render the others useless. But I’m not taking any chances.

Godson returned his phone to its home. Then proceeded to knock on Twilight’s door. But before his hand was even able to come in contact with said door, it had opened itself. As the door slowly opened, Twilight was revealed behind it.

He raised an eyebrow at the oddity, but simply shrugged it off. Figuring it was her magic that opened it.

“Welcome back, Godson.” Twilight smiled warmly, then walked back to her bookshelves.

Godson took the hint, and followed. “So, anything new on my way back home?”

“Not really.” Twilight shook her head. “But. I’ve come up with a theory.”

“And that is?”

“This might not work, but I think if we use the Elements of Harmony…” Twilight looked at Godson, who was attempting to hide his widened eyes. “Then we might be able to strengthen an ordinary teleportation spell to send you home.”

Thankfully, Twilight didn’t notice his reaction upon the mention of the Elements. As he was able to quickly shake it off.

“Elements of Harmony?” Godson repeated, returning to normal. “I heard something about them once, but I don’t think you ever explained them to me.”

“Oh, right.” Twilight nodded. Instantly, a purple flash had appeared right next to her, blinding Godson for a second. When the flash was gone, a box had taken its place. She opened the box using her magic.

What Godson saw in the box was exactly what he needed.

The Element of Magic.

“...A tiara?” He queried. “This is what’s gonna help me get back home?”

“It’s not a tiara!” Twilight retorted. “It’s the Element of Magic. One of the six Elements of Harmony.”

“I was right!” Godson thought. “I’m right before Season 4 even starts! Strangely enough, that’s extremely convenient.”

“I need you to go to all my friends, and bring their elements back here.” Twilight said, giving him the box. “And if you need to, show them my element, that way they’ll believe you.”

“Why would I need to do that?” Godson asked.

“Well, mostly just because of Rainbow Dash.” Twilight explained, “She still doesn’t trust you very well.”

“Yeah, I kinda figured.” Godson commented.

“Now, go on, and bring back the elements!” Twilight said, pushing him out of the library. “I’m trusting you to do the task. I’d do it, but I need to set everything up for the teleportation spell. Hopefully it’ll work.”

And with that, the door was shut. Leaving Godson all alone.

With the Element of Magic in his hands.

“Is it just me, or is this getting easier than it should be?” Godson thought. “Welp, time to get those Elements…”

//////

List of Elements (From easy to hardest):

Laughter (Pinkie. EASY AS PIE. huehuehue.)

Honesty (Applejack. It’s hard for me to believe I’m lying just for a stupid dare. Maybe it’s become more than that...)

Generosity (Rarity. Should be a little easy, once I show her that I have three Elements in hand.)

Kindness (Fluttershy. I might as well put her at the top of the list, but meh. I already wrote her here in this space so it’s too late.)

Loyalty (Rainbow Dash. This will be the hardest one as she still currently DOESN’T TRUST ME qq.)

He opened the door to Sugarcube Corner, and upon doing so, Pinkie Pie was already behind the door, waiting.

“Hiya, Goddy!” Pinkie cheered, spooking Godson just a bit. “My Pinkie sense was going crazy! I know you’re here for the Element of Laughter to get back home. So here ya go!”

“Wait wat.” Godson’s mind shut down, “Dafuq, was it really that easy?” Pinkie hoofed over the necklace to him, which he then proceeded to place in Twilight’s box.

“Would you like a chocolate cupcake to go?” She asked, with said cupcake already in hoof.

“How th—Yes.” Godson immediately reacted, grabbing the cupcake.

“I’ll be taking that out of your paycheck.” Pinkie said as she smirked evilly.

Godson quickly went wide-eyed when she said that. He wanted to spit the cupcake out, but refused to do so. He swallowed whatever was left in his mouth.

“Crap, Pinkie.” Godson groaned, “Why do I keep falling for that?”

She was gone once again.

“...I’m not even surprised anymore.” He muttered, eating the rest of his cupcake.

//////

Laughter - Check

Godson stood in Sweet Apple Acres, a place he called home for about one day. Then moved out when he got a job in Sugarcube Corner. Which, ironically, is also his home.

“Howdy there, Godson.” Applejack appeared from behind, then proceeded to pat him on the back. “What brings you to the farm?”

“Actually, Twilight sent me here to, uh…” Godson thought carefully how he would word the last of his sentence. “...bring your Element to her.”

“Now why in tarnation would she need that?” Applejack tilted her head, narrowing her eyes in the process.

“RED ALERT. RED ALERT.” Godson’s mind flared. “WE’RE GOING TO DIE. I REPEAT. WE ARE GOING TO DIEEEEE.”

“She needs all six of the Elements to try to perform a teleportation spell. In other words, she’s gonna try to send me home.” He explained.

At first, Applejack was skeptical. She looked at him with narrowed eyes for a minute, then noticed a box he was carrying.

“What’s in that there box?” Applejack asked, pointing at said box.

Godson proceeded to open the box, showing off both Elements of Magic, and Laughter.

“Hm…” Applejack hummed. “Well. If Twilight can trust you holding onto her element… I suppose I can do the same.” She quickly turned from her skepticism, to her original attitude.

“Somebody get the staples button, BECAUSE THAT WAS EASY.” Godson said internally.

Applejack ran to the barn, leaving Godson alone for a minute. A short time later, she came back with the necklace in hoof. She hoofed it over to him, and he stuffed it in the box.

“Thanks, AJ.” Godson walked away, waving goodbye. “See ya later!”

//////

Laughter - Check

Honesty - Check

Generosity - Check

Kindness - Check

Loyalty - ohgodplsno

Godson made his final stop, Rainbow Dash’s house. Which was floating in the sky, making it impossible for him to even get on her doorstep.

“Now dafuq am I gonna do?” Godson said, even though no one was there to hear him. “I can’t even knock on her door, let alone step on her… lawn?”

Luckily for him, Dash had just arrived home from wherever she was, she had noticed the human under her clouds. Curious of his actions, she flew down to him.

“Alright, what do you want?” She asked. “In case you didn’t know, I don’t exactly trust you. So what are you doing under my house?”

“Relax. I’m only here because Twilight needed something.” Godson explained, “The object she needs, though, is something you may not be willing to give me.”

“And that is…?”

“Uh… Your Element?”

“Yeah.” Dash nodded, before slowly morphing into shaking her head. “No.”

“Ugh. Why not?” Godson whined. “What do you need, proof?”

Dash stopped for a moment to think. She assumed there was no way Twilight would trust him with any kind of proof needed just to take her element. Soon enough, she figured out her answer, and nodded.

Immediately, Godson pulled out his box from behind, opened it, and showed it off to the stubborn mare.

“W-Wha?” Dash stuttered. “H-How do I know you didn’t just steal them?”

“If I had stole them, wouldn’t you think Twilight could’ve simply used her magic, and teleported her element back to her?” Godson asked sarcastically.

Dash looked at the box more carefully, examining every Element, which were all present. All but her’s.

“If Twilight can trust you with the Elements…” Dash sighed, “Then so can I…”

In an instant, she flew off to her home, grabbed her element, and dropped it in Godson’s box.

“Thank you for your co-operation, Dash.” Godson smiled.

“Yeah, yeah.” Dash gestured her hoof in a shooing manner. “Whatever.”

Godson walked away, continuing his quest.

//////

Step 3 - Check.

Step 4: Go to Canterlot. (Should be easy.)

Godson’s phone was returned back home, as it’s owner stood in the train station. A small saddlebag in hand, which was cut and modified into a small messenger bag. As the train pulled up, Godson was one of the first passengers to step inside.

“ALL ABOARRRRRRD.”

Steps 5, 6, and 7

Step 5: Threaten the princesses and overthrow them.

Celestia sat in her castle throne. While her sister, Luna, sat beside her. Nothing interesting had been going on for the past month, which surprisingly, had gotten her bored.

“Luna…” Celestia began. “Nothing’s been going on for a month, maybe we should go out and do something. Y’know, make something interesting happen ourselves.”

“As tempted as I am to do so, Sister…” Luna looked at her sister sternly. “I have a feeling that something interesting may happen today.”

“Wanna bet on that?” Celestia asked, smirking wildly.

Luna paused for a bit, then smirked back. “I bet 20 bits on it.”

“You’re on!” Celestia grinned, knowing this would be an easy win for her.

Suddenly, one of the royal guards stepped in. “Your Highnesses, we have captured some sort of two legged beast.”

Celestia immediately turned her head at Luna, mouth agape. “You planned this!” She growled.

“Actually sister, I did not.” Luna shook her head. “I actually had something else planned for the bet, but apparently, it is no longer required.”

Celestia continued to stare at Luna, then slowly eyed the guard, then Luna, then the guard again.

“So… What should we do with it, Your Highnesses?” The guard asked.

“Bring it in, I suppose.” Celestia said, “Looks like we have something interesting after all.”

Just like that, the guards brought Godson in, his arms were tied up behind his back, and he was forced down onto his knees as soon as they stopped walking.

“So much for everything…” Godson muttered.

“We also found it carrying this.” The guard added, throwing Godson’s bag toward Celestia, who caught it with her magic.

She investigated the bag, then slowly pulled out the box from it. The bag had fell, but the box was still in her grasp. She raised an eyebrow at the mysterious creature, then returned her focus to the box. She then proceeded to open the box, and was horrified to see what was in it. She gasped in fear as she dropped the box.

“H-How…” Celestia stuttered. “How did you get the Elements of Harmony…?” Luna immediately jerked her head toward her sister, then at the box. She began examining it herself.

“Your student.” Godson replied, toneless. “It started off as a simple task. But then I turned it into something else.”

“But… why?” Luna asked. “Why would you need to steal them?”

“There’s two ways I can answer.” Godson stated flatly. “I can be honest. Or I can lie about why I need these elements.”

“I’d rather you be honest, beast.” Celestia growled. “Because right now, things aren’t looking so good for you.”

“I’m not a beast.” Godson retorted. “I’m a human. And I have a name.”

“I don’t care who or what you are, as long as you have the Elements, you are a beast.” Celestia shook her head. “Tell me how and why you got these Elements.”

Godson realized it was no longer a time to joke around, and sighed in defeat.

“...I was dared to.”

Celestia instantly went wide-eyed. “You were dared to steal the Elements?”

Godson shook his head. “I was dared to take over all of Equestria.”

Celestia and Luna both looked at each other, eyebrows raised, then back at Godson.

“Why?” They both asked in unison.

“Because the friend who dared me is dumb sometimes.” Godson attempted to shrug. “That dare was one of those times.”

The princesses paused for a moment. They looked at each other, nodded, then smirked.

“How would you like to finish that dare?”

//////

Step 5 - Check

Step 6: Take over Equestria! - Automatically checked.

Godson was finally done with his notes, happy to complete his dare. He had taken multiple pictures of himself sitting on the throne. Some pictures had the Princesses, others were just selfies.

“Princess Celestia! Princess Luna!” Twilight shouted, quickly storming in with her friends. “We have urgent ne—”

Instantly, they all stopped. They noticed the human sitting on the throne.

“YOU!” Dash shouted. “I KNEW WE COULDN’T TRUST YOU.”

“ohhhno.” Godson quickly muttered. “Guys! It’s not what it looks like!” He pointed at the Princesses standing at the bottom of the stairs. “Look! They’re safe! I haven’t done anything wro—!”

“Unfortunately for you, Godson.” Twilight interrupted. “I read through your notes. I knew you were plotting to take over Equestria!”

“So that’s how my phone hasn’t died yet…” Godson thought aloud.

“So instead of actually giving you the Elements of Harmony, we gave you fakes!” Twilight smiled, knowing she had won.

“Wait, we did?” Dash immediately went wide-eyed. “Nopony told me I was supposed to give him a fake! I didn’t even know we had fakes!”

Twilight facehoofed. “You gotta be kidding me…” She grumbled.

Godson eyed the box that was behind Celestia. Unfortunately, Twilight noticed his reaction.

“The box!” She shouted. She ran towards the Element, but Celestia blocked her.

“Twilight. It really isn’t what it looks like.” Celestia tried to explain.

“You’re under some sort of mind control spell!” Twilight quickly assumed, “This fiend is tougher than I thought!”

“No! I’m not!” Godson retorted. “It’s really not what it looks like, Twilight!”

He quickly grabbed his phone, sending every picture he had of Equestria to his own email, just in case anything went wrong. He hoped they would send, after all, he was in another world. Then, he added something else to his notes.

STEP 7: ASDHIUHFIWJRFWGIUGI RUN LIKE A WUSS

“Got it!” Twilight shouted, throwing the element back at Rainbow Dash. “Now, to send you to tartarus!” Immediately, all of their Elements began to glow, and their eyes began to whiten and glow as well.

Godson immediately took the small window of time to run away from their field of view. He ran off to another room, and hid there. Unfortunately, they all teleported in unison, right in front of him. And with that, a giant rainbow was launched up, near the roof, then arced straight down at him.

“NOOOOOO!!!”

//////

*BA-DING!*

“GAH!” Godson shouted in fear, jerking up from his bed. He was awoken by the sound of a notification on his phone, which was replaced with a coin sound effect from Super Mario Bros.

Instantly, he realized where he was sitting. He was home. It was like nothing ever happened. He quickly took a look at his phone, all of his notes were erased. All that was left was:

Step 1. Go to Equestria...Somehow.

jhfiurwhgiuht48993hg5*(St8349fn35g98n#Qn

“Was it all… a dream?” He asked himself. He looked at his notifications. And found one very odd thing.

An email. From himself.

He quickly opened the email, and found something disturbing.

//////

Shadow: ...wat

Godson: Yeah. I finished the dare.

Shadow: But you’ve only been gone for five minutes…

Godson: Wat.

Shadow: Yea. Five minutes.

Godson: But. But. Wat.

Shadow: …

Godson: No I swear, I’ve been gone for like a month!”

Shadow: Sure…

Godson: Do you need proof?

Shadow: There’s nothing you can do to prove that you finished a dumb dare in five minutes.

Godson: Then just wait until I show you these pictures…

Shadow: waitwat.

Author's Note

This could've been based on a true story.

But it wasn't.

But I have no regrets.

...Maybe a little. :rainbowlaugh: