Reinventing the Iron Will

Rarity caught up with Applejack in the empty entrance hall. “Are you alright, dear? What could have Iron Will done to upset you so much?”

Applejack turned to respond, but, at that moment, Pinkie burst through a door. Her hair was as messy as it had ever been in her life and she was covered in bruises. She looked absolutely out of her mind.

“There you guys are! I was wondering why I didn’t see you in the mosh pit.” She got right up in Rarity’s face and kissed her on the lips. “Ha! I kissed a girl!” Pinkie threw herself on the floor and began rolling around laughing.

Applejack and Rarity looked on in astonishment.

Pinkie peered up at Rarity. “MMMmmm, that cherry ChapStick you’re wearing tastes good.” She got up and licked the rest of it off of her friend’s lips.

The unicorn wished she had stayed in the kitchen with the radical communist pony. She felt like she was going to die of embarrassment. At least no other pony except Applejack was there to see it. Hopefully Pinkie would not remember what happened in the morning.

“Whoa there, Pinkie,” Applejack scolded as she pried the earth pony away from the unicorn.

Rarity simply stood where she was, paralyzed with embarrassment.

Applejack continued lecturing Pinkie. “I think you’ve had quite enough fun for one night. Ya prob’ly shouldn’t have had so much sugar.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Pinkie said happily. “This party is was definitely in compliance with Pinkie’s Law. Hey, where is everypony else anyway?”

“They’re in the kitchen, plotting how to overthrow the system,” Rarity said dismissively, snapping out of her paralysis.

“Hey, that might be fun too!” Pinkie jumped in the air and bolted off to the kitchen.

Applejack patted Rarity on the back. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anypony about that, but I don’t really want to talk about William, so I’m just gonna turn in. You’d best get back to your date.”

“Uh, I’m not really on a date with Spike. I’m not really sure what it is.”

Just then, the ponies heard and felt a rumbling. Big Mac ran around a corner, but stopped before he would have slammed into the two mares.

He spoke faster than they had ever heard him speak before. “Oh hey, Sis, I’ve been looking all over for you. I got lost and accidently knocked over an urn of some sort. I hope there weren’t any ashes in it. There wasn’t much light in the hallway, so I couldn’t rightly tell. I saw you were upset ‘bout somethin’ and I wanted ta see if you were alright. I shouldn’t go ta parties. First I do nothin’ all night and then I have ta go and wreck up the house.”

“Well, you can’t possibly be doing more damage than Pinkie,” Rarity commented.

“Come on Macintosh, let’s get out of this darn place. We shouldn’t rightly be here so late. We’ve got a lot of work in the mornin’,” Applejack said, nodding her head towards the front door.

***

As the Apple siblings trotted through the moonlight toward their home, Applejack decided to head off questions from her brother by asking her own. “So how did it go with Fluttershy?”

“Um, it didn’t really go anywhere. All I did was destroy a beanbag. Then Pinkie showed up and destroyed a bunch more of them. It made a terrible mess. I hope our new neighbor isn’t goin’ ta hate us for all this.”

“I don’t care if he hates us,” spat Applejack. “I already hate him.”

Big Mac cringed at hearing his sister say this. She almost never used such strong language. “Uh, so what happened between you two?”

“Well, nothin’ ya should worry ‘bout. Let’s just say he’s an arrogant and insensitive jerk. Tell you what, let’s just agree ta not talk about nothin’ that happened tonight ever again. You good with that?”

“Ee-yup.”

They trotted along in silence for a minute while the crickets chirped pleasantly.

“So did Fluttershy tell you she’s got a crush on you?”

Big Mac froze. “Hey, I thought we weren’t gonna talk ‘bout tonight again.”

Applejack smiled mischievously. “Heck, I’m just curious is all.”

“Uh, no she didn’t say anythin’ of that sort.”

“Well, what do ya think? Do ya think she’s pretty?”

“Well, yeah,” he admitted, his stomach doing a lurch like it had when Apple Bloom and her crusaders had tried to set him up with Cheerilee.

“Ah-Ha!” Applejack said, bouncing around him in happy circles, her mood much improved since they left the party.

***

True to their word, the dragon punks had torn a section of the roof off the house, causing a general panic. The DJ had started another dance and jacked up the volume to levels that were probably considered a war crime in some countries. Pinkie had failed to tone down the partying and, as a result, Twilight had used a curtain drawstring to magically tie her up. She levitated the pink pony several feet above the scattering crowd to prevent others from crashing into her.

“Weeeee! We should do this every night!” Pinkie yelled.

Rarity stood at Twilight’s side. She searched frantically for their friends. Spike stood on her head, helping in the search. “Hey I see Rainbow Dash!” Spike hollered at the top of his lungs, his voice barely audible above the music and ponies shouting.

Dash flew up in the air and did a double take when she saw a tied up Pinkie Pie magically floating above the crowd. The pegasus landed next to her friends. “We’ve got to get the hay out of here! I haven’t seen Fluttershy for a couple of hours. She must have gone home, so this is all of us!”

“What about Molotov Delivery?” Twilight shouted, almost dropping Pinkie on the floor as her concentration slipped for a moment.

“He was cool, but I ditched him when I realized his plan was to overthrow Princess Celestia and send her to the gulag to spend the rest of her life doing forced labor!” Dash shouted as she scooped up her friends and flew them all through the hole in the roof and into the night sky.

They landed on a nearby hill and tumbled apart.

“Time well spent,” Pinkie said happily as she rolled around in the grass, before abruptly falling asleep.

“Do you think we should take her to the hospital?” asked Dash.

Rarity shook her head. “No, I don’t think she’s technically crazy. She just ingested far too much sugar. I had some of that punch too. I don’t know what Iron Will was thinking. It was far too sweet.”

Spike gulped nervously, hoping nopony would figure out he was the culprit.

“No, I know she’s not crazy,” Dash replied impatiently. “She’s badly bruised from moshing. I wonder if Iron Will or Big Mac got in the pit. Those two could have done some serious damage.”

Just then, the friends heard a resounding crash. They looked back down the hill to see part of Iron Will’s mansion collapsing.

They watched in horror wondering if the rest of the building would also implode. The sounds of destruction echoed around the valley. Fortunately, no other part of the house caved in. The music had stopped. Now all that remained was a persistent and painful ringing in their ears.

Rainbow Dash snapped to her senses. “I’ve got to go and save anypony who’s trapped in the rubble! You guys get Pinkie home safe and get some sleep.” With this, she launched herself in the air and shot towards the damaged mansion.

***

Iron Will sprinted into the room from which the noise of the collapse emanated. The last few terrorized party guests ran out of the front door and out of sight. At last the house was completely silent. Half of the main living room had caved in, the dust still settling.

“Is it safe to come out now?” came a muffled voice.

Iron Will glanced around, not finding its source. “Yeah, the party’s over, apparently,” he said to whoever it was.

Fluttershy breathed a sigh of relief as she emerged from a small cabinet. She had hidden there when the party started getting out of control and had been two scared to even take a peep out of the cabinet for hours. She looked around in disbelief at how horribly trashed the whole place had become.

Iron Will did not stop to talk. He realized ponies might be trapped in the wreckage and began quickly and efficiently dismantling the pile.

Fluttershy hovered near the minotaur. She was terrified of what they might at any moment unearth, but knew that the search was necessary and might even save lives. She wished she was stronger so she could help, but she knew she would simply be in Iron Will’s way if she tried to aid him.

Vinyl Scratch coughed out some dust as Iron Will lifted her from the debris. “Totally sweet party, huh?” She said, adjusting her bent shades. She was badly scraped and bruised. One of her front legs also appeared to be broken.

“Oh my goodness,” squealed Fluttershy when she noticed the broken leg.

At that moment, Rainbow Dash dived through the hole in the roof and dropped daftly to the floor.

Iron Will set the DJ on a partially destroyed sofa. “Vinyl, can you remember if there were any other ponies in the room when it collapsed on you?”

“I was the only one physically capable of tolerating the noise level. Every other pony ran off well before the roof caved in.”

“Are you okay?” asked Rainbow Dash.

“I’m just fine guys. After all, some party had to be the craziest ever. It turns out it was this one! This is going to make a great story. I might even add an entry about this on my résumé.”

Iron Will was surprised at the DJ’s blasé attitude about the whole thing. “You ponies certainly can take a lot of more physical abuse than one would expect.”

Vinyl smiled. “It’s a good thing I’ve got insurance for my sound equipment, because-,” she keeled over unconscious before finishing her sentence. The others exchanged dismayed looks, fearing the DJ had just died. Fluttershy, however, quickly realized that she was still breathing.

“I’ll fly ahead and tell the hospital that you’re coming!” Rainbow Dash yelled before rushing out the door and flying away over Ponyville.

Iron Will scooped up the DJ in his arms and ran after Rainbow Dash. Fluttershy flew by his side. Hopefully it was not too late.