Twilight Sparkle Finally Gets Ticked Off

by NightmareMoon

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Random, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Pinkie Pie
Length: 3046

A certain someone who likes to bounce around is starting to get on Twilight's nerves!

Twilight Sparkle has always been bothered by, well, not to name names, a certain pink pony. What will she do?

Published 2012-05-14 03:54:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-23 20:03:14 UTC

Prologue

Twilight Sparkle was the Princess's star pupil. Why am I saying "was," you might ask? It's because a certain annoying pony is about to change her life, whether she likes it or not, or whether it even makes sense or not.

Our story starts when Twilight is studying in the library, essentially having peace and quiet. She's locked all the doors, shut all the blinds, and cast a sound-proof spell on the library-therefore, she can not here anything outside of the library. She's working on a very complicated spell, one that requires the environment she's in-like stated before, peace and quiet. Spike is cleaning the library.

That's when suddenly, the window shattered and a pink pony bounced in, deeming all her precautions for peace and quiet useless.

"Hiya, Twilight!" she said. "wat'cha doing? Working on a spell, huh? Oooh, I know that one! Isn't that the enlargement spell that requires complete peace and quiet? Ooopsies!"

"Pinkie Pie?" Twilight Sparkle asked, clearly annoyed at this interruption. "Pinkie Pie, please, I'm trying to study."

"Okey dokie!" Pinkie Pie said. She started bouncing around Twilight Sparkle. "I love studying! Actually, not so much. It's kinda boring. Oops, I shouldn't have said that, should I? You know, because you love love LOVE studying? I actually like to plan parties more than studying. See? Look! Look!" Pinkie pointed with one hoof to her Cutie Mark, which had three balloons on it.

"Pinkie Pie," Twilight Sparkle said, trying not to get mad at her 'friend,' "first of all, we've been friends for a year. Would you really think I don't even know what your Cutie Mark is? And second of all, please, I'd like you to be quiet."

"Okey dokie! But how would you know my Cutie Mark? It's not like it's obvious, or I told you what it was, or it's on my flank or anything-oh wait, it is! Wait, but since it IS on my flank, does that mean that you were looking at my flank?" Pinkie Pie gasped. Twilight Sparkle stuck her hoof in Pinkie's mouth. Pinkie simply smiled and kept talking with Twilight's hoof lodged in her mouth. Finally, after shoving it away with her own hooves, she started talking again.

"Why was your hoof in my mouth? I'm not a baby, you know. But you know who is? Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake! In fact, they love sucking their hooves. Why don't you stick your hooves in their mouths?"

Pinkie Pie started bouncing around Twilight again. Twilight looked up and said, "can I help you?"

"Nope," Pinkie Pie yelled. "can I help you? I mean, you look like you need help. Look at all that fat! I mean, you're really gaining wait, Twilight. You clearly need the help of Auntie Pinkie Pie! Here, have this weight loss flyer!"

Pinkie Pie handed Twilight a flyer that said, "are you embarrassed of all that excess weight? Do you want to get rid of it? Then this program is right for you!"

Twilight hoof-palmed and said, "why don't I just study another time? And besides, I'm not fat! Wait, am I?"

Twilight tried to look at her stomach, but sadly couldn't, as she was a pony and their features and bodies are different then ours.

"Pinkie, do you really think I'm fat?" Twilight asked.

"Of course you are! I mean, can't you see it? Someone clearly needs to lose weight."

"Please, leave this library!"

"No, no, no, no, no! My pinkie sense says that I have to be at a friend's house RIGHT NOW! So, therefore, I came here. It also said that a friend needs help!"

"Then, out of all the ponies in Equestria, you chose me?"

By now, Twilight was taking deep breaths, trying not to snap. Pinkie Pie was aware of this, thanks to her darn Pinkie Sense. A combo started. First, her ear twitched; then, her tail shook; and finally, Pinkie Pie started to randomly get dizzy.

"Oh no! That's an ear twitch-tail shake-dizzy combo! That means a friend is starting to get annoyed! Are yoooou annoyed, Twilight?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Oh, no," Twilight Sparkle said sarcastically. She sighed and said, "oh, no, my phone is ringing! Let me get it!"

"I don't hear any phone! Ooh! Another combo is coming! It's dizzy-tail shake-ear flop-head shake! It means a friend is lying to me! I wonder who it could be!"

Suddenly, Twilight Sparkle burst into flames out of anger, smoke came out of her ears, and she yelled, "Pinkie, get out! I don't want you here, and I certainly don't need you here! Get... Out!"

"Oh, are you mad?" Pinkie Pie asked. "Oh, don't worry!"

Pinkie started to sing the Smile, Smile, Smile song. "Pinkie Pie, I despise you! Get out!"

"Okey dokie!" Pinkie Pie said. She then happily bounced out of the library.

"Wow, Twilight is always in a good mood. That is, a better mood than that Griffin King that I visited today! I mean, declaring war on Equestria is a bit far, don't ya think?"

The Result

"Oh Trixie," the Great and Powerful Trixie said, "you look simply dashing, don't you? Oh, yes you do."
Trixie was in her own home in the Everfree forest, looking in her mirror wearing a dress similar to Twilight Sparkle's dress for the gala.
"Oh Trixie! Nobody will ruin your day! Trixie says no to that!" Trixie flipped her hair. "today will be just... perfect!"
"Trixie! Get out of here, you weird pony! I'm going to feed you some... soup!" Twilight Sparkle knocked on the door.
"Trixie loooves soup!" Trixie flipped her hair once more and galloped to the door. "where is the soup? I want some!" she pounded her hooves on the floor in urgency to eat some soup.
"Trixie's going to get soup!" Twilight said. She gave the bottle of Annoy-Out to Trixie and she gulped it all down. A bright light flashed and Trixie's eyes glowed purple for a second. Finally, they turned back to normal. For a while, Trixie was just randomly shaking. But then, she stopped. The potion was succesful.
"Hey, Trixie," Twilight said casually. Trixie smiled at her.
"Why, hello, Twilight! Long time no see. You know, it's such a joy to have you here." her face turned sad. "I really shouldn't have set Ursa Minor on you. It was a horrible thing to do. You know we're friends, right?"
"Sure," Twilight said. "hey, would you like some more soup?"
Trixie's eyes widened and a big grin appeared on her face. "Oh, yes! I love your soup! It's very, very wonderful. I wonder if I could get the recipe from you?"
"Oh, sure," Twilight Sparkle said. "just have this one and afterwards I'll give you the recipe."
Twilight Sparkle, in fact, had made two bottles. One was to test something out and the other was simply for revenge of Trixie for setting the Ursa Minor on her. She knew tht Trixie had apologized, but of course it was just because she had gave her a potion to make her less annoying.
"Mmm, this soup is very... interesting!" Trixie said. "Trixie likes."
Suddenly, another bright light flashed and Trixie's fur started to grow long, turning a hideous brown color. In a few seconds, Trixie was not a pony, but a hairy, ugly yak.
"Augh! Trixie is a yak! Trixie does not approve!" she grumbled. "though this fur is warm. Thank you!"
Twilight scribbled "kick me" on a piece of paper and put it on Trixie the Yak's back. She then galloped away, eager to try to Annoy-Out on Pinkie Pie.
* * *

"Hey, Pinkie Pie!" Twilight said casually. "would you like some soup?"
"Oh, I love soup! I remember this one time, I was eating soup and then I saw a yak that really wanted my soup! She said she was Trixie the Great and Powerful but Trixie isn't a yak! Or is she? Maybe she is. I really like yaks, because they're all brown and furry and they have the thingies on their heads and they're not ponies! Do yooou like yaks? Huh? Huh?"
Twilight shoved the soup in Pinkie's mouth. Pinkie fainted.
"Oh, no!" Twilight whispered. "have I killed her? She's annoying... but I never wanted to kill her!"
She started sobbing, so, so hard.
"Hey, Twilight! Why are you crying?" Pinkie Pie said, suddenly getting up. Her face showed that she was deeply concerned for Twilight.
"Pinkie Pie!" Twilight hugged Pinkie.
"You know, you really shouldn't hug people randomly. It's kind of annoying!" Pinkie Pie walked away.
Uh oh.
* * *

A little after Twilight Sparkle gave the Annoy-Out to Pinkie Pie, Princess Celestia was seen flying to Ponyville.
"Uh-oh..." Twilight muttered. She tried to teleport somewhere far, far away, but of course, Celestia was the first to block her spell and reach her.
"What did you do!?" Celestia yelled. "the Element of Laughter is no longer linked to Pinkie Pie!"
"Um... I might have tried to make her less annoying, Your Highness..." Twilight mumbled quietly.
"You... what?" Celestia said, shocked. "did you not know that her annoyingness makes her actually be the Element of Laughter? There can not be a Element of Laughter Pinkie Pie without being annoying!"
"Oops," Twilight whimpered.
"Oops?" Celestia asked, raising her eyebrow. "is that all you have got to say?
"Sorry..." Twilight mumbled. "Is there an antidote, Your Highness?"
"The worst part," Celestia continued, "is that there isn't one. How could you be so ignorant?"
"I'm sorry, Princess!" Twilight started to cry. "I didn't mean to. Can you ever forgive me?"
Celestia started laughing hysterically. Twilight turned to face her and stopped crying for a minute. "what?" she asked cluelessly.
"You should see the look on your face! DUH, there's an antidote! Besides, I'm the most powerful unicorn in all of Equestria! If I wanted to, I could do anything! But, since I'm too tired to cast a spell, come on, let's go." With Twilight boiling mad and not wanting to speak to her teacher, they started to walk towards the feared Everfree Forest.

* * *

When Fluttershy turned on her TV, the first thing she saw was a reporter looking terrified and the words "URGENT" flashing across the screen.
"Oh, Angel Bunny, we should watch this." Fluttershy said quietly. She started shaking, terrified of what might be so urgent. The hydra from the Everfree Forest? The Ursa Minor? Even worse, the Ursa Major?
"Oh, Angel Bunny! I'm so scared!" Fluttershy started crying and shaking like a scared kitten. Angel Bunny hopped on top of her and said in his weird bunny language, which Fluttershy understood, "get a grip. We should at least see what it is."
"You're right, Angel Bunny." with a bit more determined face, but still scared to death, Fluttershy looked at the TV. The reporter was just starting.
"A local resident, an Earth pony mare to be exact, has been terrifying citizens of the town. Her name is apparently, Pinkie Pie, but no one can be exact. Here is an interview from local bakers from Sugarcube Corner, Mrs. and Mr. Cake."
Mrs. and Mr. Cake were shown on the screen. Mrs. Cake began speaking. "yes, her name is Pinkie Pie. She actually works here. We can't disagree that she can be odd sometimes, but she has never been as crazy as this."
Mr. Cake added, "we are alarmed for not only our children, but the citizens of Ponyville too. We hope you become aware of this... mentally disabled pony, now terrorizing the citizens of our community."
Fluttershy turned to Angel Bunny. "Pinkie Pie?" she said in disbelief.
* * *
There comes a time when every grown mare is annoyed.
Very annoyed.
This mare is currently known as Twilight Sparkle.
"Yeah, great work princess!" she rambled on and on as they journeyed through the Everfree Forest. "I mean, like really, you could have just waved your magic li'l horn and make everything better again BUT NO! You just barely make it off your lazy butt. Yeah, you're such a great and powerful princess! You know what, I liked Trixie better than you! So shut up!"
The princess, who had not been talking before, said, "well deal with it. And by the way, I hadn't been talking earlier. Your argument is invalid."
Twilight Sparkle stuck her tongue out. "I don't care, Trollestia! So stop using your fancy shmancy words and MAKE IT BETTER!"
"Twilight," the princess said gently, and then started yelling, "I am this close to banishing you to the moon!"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're always telling me about how I'm going to get the moon treatment if I don't 'get what I get and don't get upset.' What does that even mean, anyways?!"
"It means... umm, it's pretty straightforward."
"Oh, yeah, and now Little Miss Trollestia is saying that it's obvious!"
"But it is obvious. It means that you get something and you don't get upset over it."
"Well too bad, 'cuz I am upset!"
"The Great and Powerful Yak has arrived!" a voice rang through the forest.
"Oh, no," Twilight muttered, "not her again."
"My name is the Great and Powerful Yak," Trixie yelled, "and I can do things no yak has ever dreamed of doing before!"
"Where is she?" Princess Trolle-I mean, Celestia, asked. They walked on and heard cheering. Wherever she was, she was close now.
After walking a bit more, they saw it; a stage in the middle of the forest, with a yak in a badly designed costume dancing with a crowd of yaks watching and cheering her on.
"Does anyone dare to say that their dancing skills are far more great than The Great and Powerful Yak's?" Trixie yelled. Everyone shook their head.
"Yo, stupid yak!" Princess Celestia yelled.
"What?!" Trixie yelled, carefree.
"I challenge you to a DANCE OFF!"
Twilight face... I mean, hoof-palmed. "oh for the love of Equestria, Trollestia is having a dance-off with the Greatly-Annoying Yak!"
Suddenly, Call Me Maybe blasted across the forest while Trixie sang by growling and howling or however yaks talk.
Twilight's face lightened up. An aura of violet light surrounded her horn as she pulled an iPhone out of her non-existant pocket. An evil grin spread across her face as she took a video of Trollestia shuffling.
Life was good.
* * *

Trixie's dancing could not compare to Trollestia's. She realized this mid-jazz hands, and suddenly started doing what she did best: boasting.
"Once, I beat an Ursa Major at dancing!" She started saying. "Have you ever beat an Ursa Major at dancing?"
"Yes, yes I have." Trollestia replied calmly. "You're realizing I'm a few thousand years older than you and so much more powerful, in dancing AND magic... right?"
"No!" Trixie said in shock. "You're the Princess? I'm the Princess! What a coincidence!"
"Trixie, you're a flat out broke Los Pegasus show magician that can barely cast a levitation spell. Snap out of it!"
"Snap out of what, dear? Are you afraid of being banished to the moon, a feat that only I can do?"
The yak-audience gasped in shock. Murmurs rippled through the crowd.
"And I am the only one that can raise the sun and the moon, too! Not you, or your stupid sister Nightmare Dance Moves! That's right, I challenged Luna to a Dance-Dance-Revolution competition and I won!"
The crowd once again gasped in shock.
"I'll show you banished to the moon!" Celestia yelled. Her horn started glowing, and Trixie disappeared. A face appeared on the moon like it had when Nightmare Moon was stranded on the moon.
"Brohoof!" Twilight said. Celestia brohooved Twilight.
"So, what now?" Twilight asked.
"We look for something that may or may not exist!" Celestia said, grinning widely.
"You're kidding me, right?" Twilight asked, rolling her eyes. "You gotta be kidding..."
"Nope, not kidding!" Celestia said gleefully. "I'm looking for the feather of a pheonix! And not just any pheonix, a pheonix that is standing on one leg and, while doing the worm, hands you the feather personally while bursting into flames! Easy, right? Oh, yeah, and if pheonix fire touches your skin, you die because it's full of acid! How wonderful!"
"Is that even possible..?" Twilight asked.
"Yep! I've even trained Philomena to do it!"
"What..." Twilight's eye twitched. "Then why didn't you just bring Philomena?!"
"Philomena has to go to the spa today."
"I'm not even going to question it," Twilight muttered. "I should have known better. Pinkie Pie is much worse than this on her best days..."
"Okay! Let's go find a pheonix, which are extremely rare! In fact, in every 1,000 miles, only one pheonix can be found!"
"How are we going to find a pheonix at all?" Twilight asked.
"Simple! You have to do a traditional pheonix call."
"That sounds simple enough," Twilight stated.
"You didn't let me finish, dear. You have to perform the traditional pheonix call while doing a moonwalk and performing olympic-style backflips!"
"My life just gets more and more ridiculous," Twilight muttered.

Epilogue

Twilight had lived the rest of her days as an elderly pony trying to train a pheonix named Troll. She had named him after Celestia, who had left a few minutes after she had given her instructions on how to train the pheonix and said, "good luck! If you're fortunate, you might accomplish it before you die!"

But that didn't put Twilight down! She finally made the rememdy and returned to Ponyville. She was greeted by an elderly Pinkie Pie.

"Hi! I'm Pinkie what's your name your new so you don't have friends so I'm gonna... throw you a party or sum'en... OMIGOSHTWILIGHTIT'SYOU!"

Twilight stock before Pinkie in shock. What?! Where did the Annoy-Out go?!

"Oh, Twilight silly!" Pinkie laughed. "I know what you're thinking, you used the Annoy-Out on me, but you see that stuff wears out after a few hours! Hehe!"

Twilight's eye twitched.

"I SPENT THE REST OF MY LIFE TRYING TO SAVE YOU FROM THE ANNOY-OUT AND IT WEARS AWAY!?"

"Well, of course, silly!" Pinkie said, a bit frightened. "I-I thought you knew that already! If that wasn't the case, Discord would have come back and spread chaos throughout Equestria again!"

And that was the end of Equestria! The end!