Poor Rabbit!

by Newenglandee

Rating: teen
Tags: Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Angel, Derpy Hooves, Dark, Alternate Universe, Human, Doctor Whooves
Length: 4867

Several humans just wanted to enjoy some time away from home in this strange new land of Equestria. But when looking for food, they find an...unusual rabbit for sale. One who's not all he seems...

The crew of the U.S.S "Empire" has been trying to find a place to relax, having been away from Earth for so long, albeit not by choice, since their captain is a bitch. What they don't know is that the rabbit they buy from the locals to act as a delicious source of meat isn't quite what he appears to be. But that may not be such a bad thing...

What IS a bad thing is how their captain seems to HATE the poor bunny...

Much like with my other work, I like to enjoy exploring areas not often explored. Hopefully you'll enjoy this too.

Published 2015-04-11 00:00:03 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-11 00:00:03 UTC

Poor Rabbit!

They’d almost finished with the loading, the planet Equestria soon to be far, far away once they were all set. Outside their little space frigate, John sighed, tapping his booted foot on the ground, face sunk in gloom. He hated the prospect of having to leave such a beautiful place as Equestria. It was a Vacation planet, far away from his home. Far away from Earth.

…Earth…

Equestria reminded him too much of Earth. That was the problem. The trees softly blowing in gentle wind…the feel of grass beneath his body. Soft clouds ambling above and smiling, cheery alien faces, so childlike in their stupidity and innocence. So alike and yet different from Earth. The brightest source of brilliance was still the burning of the orange sky as the sun began to softly set, casting its rays over the deep plains of his home, but back there, it rose on its own, with no aid from a celestial goddess of any kind. Yet even though this sun was soft on his skin, he still found himself missing HIS sun. He missed the way it felt on his skin.

And…he missed his family too.

It had been a simple request from the government. Specially selected crew from all walks of American life, High test scores, incredible aptitude performances. This would be first contact with other races out among the stars, all evidently very eager to meet the new neighbors who’d finally gone past their own solar system. Especially the Equestrians, who were very, VERY eager to meet with these “Humans” they’d heard so much about. Evidently their capital’s leader had somehow met with humans before, or at least, a species incredibly similar. So things had seemed ideal!

And they’d gotten to enjoy the lovely planet, and even gain a few new crew members. Especially the unusual Pegasus pony Derpy, who was currently out getting supplies for them. But no matter how warm she and her friend Doctor Whooves was, it just…wasn’t the same. No matter how comfy and cozy Equestria was, it too wasn’t the same.

John Smith missed his home. But he had to try and push those feelings back inside as he, Derpy, Dr. Whooves, Maddy, Allers, Jack, Desmond and Tobias led the rest of the crew off to the next planet. Truth be told, going from planet to planet wouldn’t be so bad…if not for the fact that Captain Jennifer Dais had made herself the captain.

“Why the long face, short stuff?” Jennifer wanted to know, descending down the gangplank, long brown hair flowing behind her as she folded her arms over her chest and smirked at John. “You got to have a good three days of vacation.”

“I could have had a week of “vacation” had you not spat in the hotel owner’s face for being a “rip-off artist”.” John muttered.

“WHINER.” Jennifer snorted right back, waving a dismissive hand.

“We’re fugitives from justice! We need to keep a fairly low profile.” John mumbled as Jennifer ignored him, heading off to join their new First Mate, the dark-brown eyed pony named Dr. Whooves, a powerful “traveller” who said he’d been around for centuries. He’d been their first-hand guide around the planet…and even that was only enough to let Jennifer call him first mate. Yes, god forbid she give him or anybody else on the ship a decent bed. Oh no. SHE got the nice satin sheets. She was the captain, after all. Of a ship she didn’t own. John actually owned it.

“We got quite the bargain thanks to you.” Jennifer said with a dark chuckle, clapping the pony on the back, his hair bouncing a bit as Dr. Whooves of Earth cringed and sighed. “Doesn’t it feel good cheating stupid shopkeepers out of good deals?”

“No. It’s not a GAME, Jennifer.” Dr. Whooves whispered with a cold tone, his dark, soft voice biting briefly into her before she just grinned as if to say “Yeah, it was”. He hated that she was grinning at him and hated that she’d made him use his “Psychic paper”. He harrumphed, blowing air out his nostrils. “Anyhow, I told you, I didn’t find anybody who could sell you any…meat.” He murmured. “It’s Vegan Week in the Gryphon kingdom. If you’d not spat in Mr. Hamma’s face-”

“Whiners.” Jennifer groaned, rolling her eyes before she saw Derpy approaching, bringing along…

No way. No.

It was trotting alongside the little pony which saluted, the blond-haired, greyish-furred pony holding up a hoof. It nervously glanced from Jennifer and Dr. Whooves to the thing it had tied up on a rope leash, the wind blowing flower pollen through the air behind them as she spoke. “I’ve got something, ma’am. It was a bargain. Fifty bits.”

“…it’s…a rabbit?” Jennifer asked, looking it over as it sat on the soft grassy clearing they’d parked the ship at, it’s small little tail twitching a bit along with its nose as it tilted its head to the side to look at them, long ears flattened against its head. Yep. A white rabbit. “A…a RABBIT.” The captain managed to mutter out. “It looks like it weighs…what, five pounds? At most?”

“Yes, 5.2 pounds.” Derpy admitted with a nod. “I weighed it myself.” She proclaimed, grinning happily. “Took me a few times.” She added, her crossed eyes looking back at the rabbit as it sighed and hung its head.

“…well, maybe it’ll be good to eat. I DID want some kind of meat. I was hoping for pig but…hey, maybe rabbit tastes like pig.” Jennifer said with a shrug. “Bring it onboard.”

…

…

…

…the bunny survived the takeoff just fine, sleeping soundly in the hold of the ship. Once they were finally on their way along their way and far, FAR away from Equestria, Jennifer asked the crew to prep a nice dinner…and to bring the bunny up to the kitchen before they got it ready to really look it over and see if, perhaps, it was safe to eat at all.

“A…rabbit…” Maddy murmured, looking the thing over as Desmond poked it with his enormous hand, deep blackish/brown eyes narrowed as Maddy scratched her head, Dr. Whooves standing behind her as she looked over at him. “It looks so…cute and fuzzy.”

“I will have to take your word for it.” Dr. Whooves chuckled slightly, waving a hoof in the air. “Ponies like myself don’t really eat much meat.”

“It does at least SMELL lovely.” Desmond admitted, the bunny nervously lolling its head back and forth, tongue slightly sticking out as it panted a bit. “…and it sounds out of breath?” The African-American cook remarked, scratching his slightly scraggy beard in confusion as Maddy twirled one of the long red strands of hair she had falling over her forehead.

“It can’t be, it hasn’t gone more than a hundred feet from the hold to the kitchen!” John murmured, the rest of the various Human crewmates looking around at each other, then at the captain.

“It must be thirsty.” Jennifer reasoned. “Just like my pet dog. It would pant a LOT if it was thirsty.”

“You had a pet dog? What happened to it?” Maddy asked as Jennifer looked at her.

“…you can go get the thing some juice or something.” Jennifer remarked.

“I don’t know if you couldn’t hear her through all the hair you have, but she just asked you a QUESTION.” Dr. Whooves inquired of Jennifer as she whacked him over the head. “OW!”

“And I don’t know if you NOTICED, but I’m not giving her an answer! Give it a drink.” Jennifer snorted. “And then see what it eats so we can fatten it up.” She added, Maddy quickly making for the refrigerator, pulling out a bottle of juice as Dr. Whooves clapped his paws together, a bowl hovering out of the cupboard. Maddy snatched it out of midair, pouring the juice into the steely bowl and setting it on the dark floor as the rabbit lapped at the juice eagerly, Derpy stepping forward.

“The farmer said they’ll eat “dangnumb near everythin’”. I fed it an apple off a wild tree, it was munching on some grass when I took notice of it in the fields…” Derpy admitted as she knelt by the thing and took out a small chocolate bar, the thing taking the bar in its little paw/hands and chewing eagerly on it as Jennifer rubbed her chin.

“It clearly has good taste.” John remarked.

“Yeah, it’s not an ordinary bunny. Most rabbits would be poisoned by chocolate!” Derpy admitted. "Oh, and, and look!" She said, holding a hoof up to the bunny's head and petting it for a few moments. It closed its eyes, enjoying the petting before Derpy raised the hoof up. It then gave a loud "hrrrmph". "See? See, watch!" Derpy laughed, stroking the bunny's head again...and then letting go.

"HRRMPH!"

"See? It growls if you don't pet it enough. I get like that myself. You're a rabbit after my own heart!"

“This is a very interesting bunny. And speaking OF the matter of taste, that’s the real question.” Jennifer inquired. “We have any cookbooks in here that talk about rabbits or rabbits for that matter? How long do you think it’ll take to fatten this thing up properly? A week? Few days?”

The bunny finished with the chocolate bar, washing it down with a long drink from the bowl, and as it set down the bowl, it sat on its rump, looking Jennifer squarely in the eyes.

“Really, Ms. Dais. Can we maybe talk about something else?”

The room was utterly silent. You could have heard a pin drop.

“What…was that? Just now. What was that?!” Jennifer demanded to know, glancing around from face to face.

“The rabbit SPOKE, Captain.” Maddy realized, gaping slightly at the thing as Dr. Whooves rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

They all looked at the cute little bunny as Jennifer’s mouth gaped. “And…in a hypothetical situation that I am NOT having…what did it say?” Jennifer muttered.

“I think it wishes to speak of other matters?” Dr. Whooves inquired as Jennifer knelt by the thing, looking it over, pulling it’s head back, opening its mouth up.

“Is there a tiny native inside? Is this thing actually a robot and all these little men are just waiting-gemme a KNIFE!” Jennifer began to inquire, amber/gold eyes narrowing. “I want to open it up!”

“REALLY now!” The bunny said, quickly stepping away, batting her hand back and glowering slightly at her. “That’s just MEAN, that’s what it is!”

“You come out of there! Whoever you are, come out!” Jennifer snarled at the thing, clenching her fists. “Or I will send you to a nightmare world of unending terrors and horror beyond imagining-”

“Given your first idea of what to do with me was EAT ME, I doubt you have too much of an imagination to begin with.” The thing said with a sigh.

“…I…don’t believe there’s anything in the bunny. I think it’s actually speaking to us.” John finally managed to squeak out, pointing at the white bunny as it blinked slightly.

“I think you and I need to have a little chat.” The bunny said. “For starters, my name is not “The bunny”. It’s Angel. I think you and I don’t agree on some basic issues, but that’s easily fixed.”

For once in her life, Jennifer Dais didn’t have anything snarky to say. “…um…” She murmured. “Er…c-come…come into my office.” She managed to get out, throwing her hands up in the air, turning around on her heels and heading for her office door across the hall as everyone watched them leave, Maddy looking at Desmond.

“Do you think she’ll actually have us serve it?” She wanted to know.

“I’M not cooking IT.” Desmond quickly said, immediately shaking its head back and forth, half the crew immediately leaving the room, deciding this was getting FAAAR too weird. Derpy, meanwhile, had decided to take hold of the remaining chocolate bar.

"Okay, tummy! You want the chocolate? You hungry?"

"I'M ALWAYS HUNGRY! Make with the chocolate!" Her stomach "said" as Derpy pretended to move her belly in perfect synchronization to her voice, so she began munching on the rest of the chocolate bar.

"Yumyumyumyum!"

"You know, my parents think I'm kidding when I try to write back home to tell them about the things you do." John remarked to her as he poked his head back in.

…

…

…

…the bunny named Angel sat down on a chair nearby, Jennifer sitting behind her desk, folding her arms over her chest, glowering in his direction as Angel scratched at his head with his hind leg. “Thank you for this comfy chair. I’m addicted to various forms of relaxation and meditation. I’m kind of an ascetic where I come from.”

“…so…you’re a bunny. And somehow…you speak perfect English?” Jennifer inquired. This can’t possibly be happening! How can this be happening?!! The other races that weren’t ponies and Gryphons we needed translator tech for!” She wanted to know, steepling her hands as she tilted her head slightly to the side.

Angel shrugged with his shoulders. “I’m not really conscious of speaking anything in particular. I took a peek into your mind-”

“My mind?”

“I studied the contents, especially the semantics in your skull, and-”

“OHHH. You’re telepathic, is that it?!” Jennifer realized, eyes widening a bit as Angel nodded.

“I’m Telepathic, telekinetic and LEGION when you consider what I’ve got inside me, Ms. Jennifer. I look like a rabbit but as I told my old owner before she passed…” Angel sighing softly, sadly, bowing his head. “…my race is quite old. Quite peaceful, too. Our home planet has no offensive technology, we’re often prey species because of how kindly and compassionate we are. We’re too soft to fight, too good-natured to take advantage of other species to try and enslave them to do our work.”

“…HIPPIES.” Jennifer muttered, rolling her eyes.

“We live off plants, vegetables and we have such a wide variety of minerals and other natural resources we use them to trade with more peaceful planets. Diplomacy is how we get things done back home and I was very happy to see that the people of this planet were remarkably kind-hearted as well! And quite vegetarian.” Angel pointed an accusatory paw digit at her, now frowning angrily. “Which is why I’m strenuously objecting to you skilling me and deep-frying me for dinner. I can see it now: you’ll have most of me for tonight, a bit left over for breakfast tomorrow, served up with eggs and TOAST-”

“ABOUT that, um…” Jennifer began to ask.

“My taste.” Angel sighed. “I was told by Gilda after I'd gone halfway down her throat that it’s quite good. Slightly fatty, but tender. Luckily my old owner, rest her soul, forcibly Heimliched me out. And I've no doubt I melt in your mouth, not in your pants, I assure you. Though really, it’s quite barbaric of you to try and eat me. Especially now that you’re aware I’m a sentient being. Perhaps you’d like to discuss the philosophy of eating meat over some hot cocoa?”

“Hot cocoa we’re rather SHORT on due to a spoilage of food. Including meat. I could USE some good meat, if you catch my drift.” Jennifer said, her voice getting slightly soft…but with an edge.

“Shouldn’t a decision like that be left up to your crew? Your species…well, your particular race of them…believed heavily in democracy? I’m pretty sure eating me is a direct violation of the rights of the minority. How about putting it to a vote?” Angel inquired, Jennifer peeking up over the desk and at the doorway, calmly striding over to it and flinging it open, everyone gathered at the other end, all of them formerly having their ears to the door to listen.

“Alright. All in favor of eating him?” Jennifer asked. “AYE.” She pointed at herself, raising her hand up. “And all OPPOSED?”

“NAY!” Everyone else loudly yelled out.

“Too bad I’M IN CHARGE!” She screeched back, slamming the door shut, the others ambling off, muttering angrily under their breaths in disgust and irritation as Jennifer dusted herself off, smirking proudly. “Well, that was satisfying. Now then-”

Angel’s eyes narrowed, his pupils slightly narrowing as Jennifer froze on the spot, mouth wide, eyes staring at the mammal as it sighed, standing up and shaking it’s butt in the air, ambling out the doorway. “So uncivilized.” It sighed. “Some people!”

…

…

…

… “When a felon’s not engaged in his employment!” “His employment!”

“Or engaged in his felonious little plans!” “Little plans!”

“His capacity of innocent enjoyment!” “-Cent Enjoyment!”

“Is as great as any honest man’s!” “Honest man’s!”

Angel was bobbing a paw back and forth, singing along with John, who also held a gloved hand up, happily singing with him as they all enjoyed a find mead ale in the dining room, Dr. Whooves swaying his head back and forth as he played the nearby piano, notes drifting through the air as Maddy sat on a chair nearby, listening to him play.

“What a lovely song. My highest compliments to Misters Gilbert and Sullivan!” Angel admitted, sipping the mead as John nodded his head. “All from Earth, you said?”

“If there’s one thing I miss most of all about my home world, it’s their musical shows.” John admitted with a sigh. “They’re just so…full of life. So vibrant and…CHEERY!”

“So different from your captain?” Angel asked as John nodded in agreement, all of the rest of the crew enjoying the broken-into mead…save for Derpy. Why? Well, Derpy actually had fallen into a vat of hard cider as a child, you see.

What, you thought that cross-eyed look was NATURAL?!

“I’ve never seen her smile unless someone was being hit over the head.” Maddy spoke up. “Not that I wouldn’t occasionally find that funny, but she’s insufferable.”

“She is utterly lacking in compassion.” Dr. Whooves sighed out. “I’m amazed you got away from her.”

“I almost didn’t.” Angel admitted to them all as he sighed, hanging his head and shaking it back and forth as he put the mead bottle down, resting his paws in his lap. “Leadership is a very difficult task. My best friend, Fluttershy, she understood the great responsibility that was put on her shoulders, but she carried the burden because she cared for the lives of innocents. She always sought out the best in others, to alleviate their suffering. I’ve always strived to be like her, but…I’m so lonely ever since she passed.”

"Fluttershy was really sweet..." Derpy added. "She always had a smile for me, she...she was good at baking muffins too." She admitted, her eyes becoming misty with memory and she seemed to reach out, as if wanting to stroke a cheek. "Everyone was so shocked when she just-"

She trailed off, shaking her head back and forth. "I-I gotta get some air." She murmured, exiting the room, her voice breaking as if she wanted to break down and cry, trotting swiftly away as John sympathetically sighed.

“I know how she feels, I lost someone too. You don’t ever…get over it.” John quietly admitted. “You can carry their memories with you, but…you don’t get over it. Not one bit. It’s like a throbbing pain in your chest.” The short, squat human sighed as he looked down at himself and bit his lip, rubbing his knees with his hands.

“For my race, it’s slightly different. We carry more than memories. Our very selves can be passed on to those we choose. Course, it helps to have immense psychic powers…” Angel informed them all as Derpy’s voice rang through the air. "Psychic powers that can do things like THIS!"

He waved a paw in the air, hovering it around and around as bottles floated about, passing more and more of them out to everyone as he bounced his head back and forth. "Any other lovely songs about sailing?"

"I do know ONE song. What do you do with a drunken sailor?" John asked.

"Yes, what DOES one do with a Drunken Sailor?" Doctor Whooves asked, tossing back a mead bottle. "We chuck him in the long boat till he's sober!"

"Chuck him in the long boat till he's sober!"

"Chuck him in the long boat till he's sober, ear-ly-in-the-morrrr-ning!" The crew sang out, waving their bottles in the air as Angel clapped his paws together, sitting on John's shoulder as they happily laughed. "Weigh-hey, and up she rises, weigh-hey, and up she rises, Weigh-Hey and up she rises, ear-ly-in-the-morrrr-ning!"

"Throw him in the hole with the Captain's daughter, throw him in the hole with the captain's daughter!" John began to sang out before, unfortunately...the good times came to an end.

“Wanna tell me why OUR captain was trapped in place so ear-ly-in-this-mornin'?” Derpy called out.

They all turned, seeing a fuming and FURIOUS Jennifer standing there, knife in her hand, twirling it over and over, her eyes burning like hot coals, panting as she glared at the rabbit.

“What’s the problem?” John asked.

“THAT thing.” Jennifer said, pointing with an accusatory finger.

“Behind the rabbit?”

“It IS the rabbit!” She shrieked. “Out of my way!”

Everyone gulped nervously at each other, glancing about, Dr. Whooves frowning slightly at Jennifer as Angel sighed. “You are OBSESSED with the idea of eating me. I take it that “this time, it’s personal”?”

“Stop reading my mind!” Jennifer snarled, clenching her other fist tightly and shaking it at Angel, sweeping towards him, grabbing hold of him and launching the bunny through the air and into the piano, the thing crashing into the wall, Dr. Whooves pulling Maddy back as she shrieked, Angel struggling to his paws as keys clattered around him.

“I was passing by when I saw it. Captain Jennifer was frozen like a statue up in her room. If we hadn’t gone to get her…she might still be frozen. What do you have to say for attacking the captain?” Derpy wanted to know. "I don't even like her and even I'M amazed you just went "Girl, Interrupted" on her!"

“She WAS going to fillet me. I’m very much against hurting anyone, even someone like her, so I simply paralyzed her until I could talk to the rest of you, get to know you all.” Angel insisted, holding his paws up. “I was very curious about all of you, about your ship, so I suggested to Ms. Derpy through the farmer Applejack that-”

“Ah-HA.” Jennifer hissed out, pointing an accusatory finger at him. “You set us up. You wanted off the planet so you took advantage of us.”

“You’re a very clever person when you want to be. Unfortunately you’re utterly incapable of caring the sanctity of sentient life. I’d call you an animal…but even an animal has a herd instinct. You just don’t care.” Angel said softly, his eyes accusingly staring back at her, his childlike voice soft, but…almost terrifying. “You don’t care about anyone but yourself. It's why you get the nice cabins and the best food whilst your crew has to-"

“I’m going to hit you in the skull. Clean through your little head. Don’t want to bruise the MEAT, as tempted as I AM.” Jennifer said darkly, twirling the knife on one finger, smirking at Angel. "No, wait. I got it." She reached into her pocket, pulling out a cord. A wire cord. Long, thin,steely...

And cold. Cold as her almost doll-like eyes, more black and soulless than Angel's could ever appear.

“I can’t watch this.” Derpy said. “I feel like I want to vomit. I never should have gone in to check on you!” She muttered, racing out of the room, Maddy and Desmond quickly following after with more and more members of the crew.

“This is despicable.” Dr. Whooves snapped, glaring balefully at Jennifer as John watched him leave too, turning to Angel, who gave him a sad, quiet nod.

“…I’m so sorry.” John apologetically murmured, shaking his head back and forth, exiting the dining hall as Angel rested his butt on the ground, watching him leave, sighing a bit.

“You should be ashamed of yourself, Jennifer Dais.” Angel murmured. “I believe there’s a parable your Savior related to-”

“Are you actually going to quote SCRIPTURE at me? I don't give a shit about the Bible. Quoting it is not going to endear me to you. And I hate cute and fuzzy things.” She added. “Now if you were an ALICORN, then we could talk. I've always wanted a pet alicorn since the minute I landed here.”

“I can see how their nature appeals to you. Probably because you don't want to be held accountable and just want all the power, and no responsibility.”

“It’s not just that. Queen was wrong. Everyone wants to live forever.” Jennifer giggled out, holding the wire cord high. “You, unfortunately, won’t live past the next FIVE MINUTES. Do be sure to scream. I know it’ll be hard with a knife in your brain, but…at least try?”

The wire wrapped around Angel's throat and tugged him upwards. Something wet began to come down Angel's neck around the edges of the wire, blood if the faint scent Angel was slowly getting was anything to go by. His tiny paws almost looked tempted to rise up to grab his neck, try and save himself, but it seemed futile. The wire was just going in too deep to stop, and seemed to be digger in deeper and deeper. She was going to cut his head off to keep as much of the meat intact. And though he knew he could stop this, knew he could overcome-

It HURT. Oh, DAMN it all, it HURT! Angel was in pure, absolute pain, finding it harder and harder to breathe, tears were starting to seep out as her legs began to flailing about. "GGG-GGHHHHAAAAGHHH..." He gasped out.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I-I can't hear you, you-you seem to have something AROUND YOUR THROAT THERE." Jessica snorted as she tugged on the wires, and Angel went up higher. The wire continued to slowly decapitate him...more...more...

And then the wire had finally cut through her neck. Skin, flesh, veins and bone.

The rest...was silence.

…

…

…

… “I didn’t really need those eardrums anyway.” Jennifer said, rubbing the side of her head, mouth half-full of meat, the rest of the crew either already long-gone from the dining room or looking sick as they stared at the carved and cooked carcass of poor Angel, Dr. Whooves vomiting into a nearby trash bucket, John sticking his tongue out as he put the mead down. It tasted like garbage. Food didn’t taste like anything in the past two hours.

“…sure.” John managed to get out, everyone else beginning to get up and leave, Maddy escorting Dr. Whooves out as he glared darkly in Jennifer’s direction as she let out a rude burp, picking her teeth with a toothpick.

“It’s just food, it always was.” Jennifer snorted. “You know, there’s nothing better than a good meal. One of the best things in life. Eating, resting, meditation, just…talking about things.”

“You’re a woman of simple pleasures, is that it?” John mumbled quietly.

Jennifer waved a hand in the air. “Yes. And this was, to put it simply, a lovely meal.” She admitted. “Very fine. You know, I could...use some ale mead to wash it down. Yes. Some ale mead.”

“Yes, er…sure…” John murmured as he struggled to keep the bile down as Jennifer held up a bottle of mead and began downing it in a few big swigs.

“Come on now, John.” Jennifer insisted with a small smile. “Cheer up! Let’s discuss things.”

“Like WHAT?” John practically screamed out, glowering over at her as Jennifer held up the bottle of mead she’d had and cheerily waved it in the air.

“Oh, I don’t know. Perhaps…” Jennifer grinned. “We should have a discussion of the finer things in philosophy?"

"Like...what?"

Something was...weird. Very weird. Why was she talking like this? And her voice sounded so odd! So...strange. And yet, so fam-

"How about souls? You know, I've learned a British tar is a SOARING soul, as free as a mountain bird.”

John’s mouth slightly opened. His eyes began to widen.

No.

…nooooo…

“And his energetic fist should be ready to resist…a dictatorial word.” Jennifer went on, leaning back in her chair, grinning broadly as John looked from the “main course” to her.

“Noooooo. It…you…it CAN’T be…” John whispered.

“Jennifer” raised an eyebrow up. “His nose should pant?”

“…and his lip should curl…” John murmured quietly, eyes getting wide as dinner plates.

“His cheeks should flame?”

“And his brow should furl!”

And in a few minutes, the dining hall was filled again with glorious song, a familiar voice rising high, filled with childlike joy as John accompanied him, their words filling the ship with vibrant life reborn.

His nose should pant
and his lip should curl,
His cheeks should flame
and his brow should furl!
His bosom should heave,
and his heart should glow,
And his fist be ever-ready
for a knock-down blow!