Not a Monster 3: Realizations and Revelations

Chapters

Wise Words from a Stranger
Apologies
A Friend on the Field
Coming Out of Her Shell
The Ethics of Hard Work
Receiving and Giving
Receding
As the Sun Sets
The Monster
Rising from the Ashes

Wise Words from a Stranger

There I was, alone, extremely alone, the most alone that I had ever been. I struggled to pull myself out of the warmth and comfort of my bed every morning before school, barely giving myself ten minutes to get ready and eat breakfast. Once I arrived at school, I only anticipated the end of the day. That made it much harder to focus in my classes as well. My mind would wander from the lecture or in-class assignment to thoughts of my wonderful little sanctuary back home. Mainly, I thought of lying in bed while playing video games or browsing the internet. It was the easiest way to keep my mind off of everything. That brought up the problem of procrastination, something that had grown even worse than it was before. I was struggling to finish my homework, struggling to do anything really. Then, there was the social aspect.

During that time, I don’t think I talked to anyone unless absolutely necessary. First of all, I wasn’t one to go around talking to people I barely knew or didn’t know at all. Secondly, it seemed like no one else was fond of that idea either; so I was never approached by anyone. Lastly, I had basically cut all ties to the friends I once had. There was no talking to them either. Then, of course, when someone did end up talking with me, I wasn’t much of a conversationalist. I was sure I pushed away more than my fair share of possible friends that way. For a while, I had actually managed to convince myself that having only my own company wasn’t all that bad, but soon the aloneness and depression returned. Along with that there was anger, or perhaps jealousy.

I sat alone at lunch, of course, in my familiar private corner. I despised how popular my former friends had become. So many of the students would head over to their table to simply get in a few words with them, the girls that saved Canterlot High twice, and the bad girl turned good. I always heard whisperings in the halls as well. So many of the male students chatted about how hot and sexy Sunset Shimmer was. So many of the jocks asked her out. There were even a few of the girls interested in her. Of course they were. She was perfect in every way. That bothered me even more. Oddly enough, the girls never seemed to accept anyone else into their group even with the amount of students that surrounded them on a daily basis. Sunset could have any guy she wanted, but she never took up any of the offers. I was outside of their group though. I had a hard time persuading myself that I no longer should have an interest in their affairs. I wanted to go back to them on occasion, but I knew I wouldn’t be accepted back after what I’d done. I wanted to apologize to all of them, even if I had no clue how or what their response would be. Yet, that was exactly what kept me from doing so. I would most likely make a fool of myself.

To combat the loneliness that seemed to be encroaching upon every aspect of my life, creating many sleepless nights, and even causing me to question my life on occasion, I turned to chatting with strangers online. I met most of these people on Ponegle but only kept in contact with a few. Many of these talks were one time only. Most of the time, I barely even knew the other person’s name, or even their gender for that matter, but one of these chats was what changed everything.

***

The days were getting warmer and warmer, even the evenings were nice enough to wear nothing more than a long-sleeved shirt or a light jacket of some sort. One of these evenings was actually nice enough to coax me out from the confines of my room and onto the back deck with my laptop. The sun was low in the sky, but its minor rays were still strong enough to warm me upon the metal chair that I sat in. I took in a breath of fresh air, a trace of grass and leaves filling my nose. Crickets were beginning to chirp in the distance, and birds were beginning to roost for the night. I watched their many silhouettes move down into the leaved branches of distant trees. For once, I felt as though I would actually be able to forget about my problems and enjoy what was around me. I was sure the birds and the crickets weren’t too worried about love and loneliness. They were probably worried about mating, but that was a different story. It wasn’t until I started up an innocent chat on Ponegle that my worries returned.

Looking back on it, it’s funny really, how many simple things would set me off. The stranger typed the most basic of conversation starters, “How are you?” Those three words triggered all of my emotions, sending them to the forefront of my mind.

“Not good. Not good at all,” I typed back. Truth be told, I was always surprised by some people on the internet, especially after all of the bad I had seen come from it. The girl, I learned her gender a bit later on, was truly concerned and willing to help in any way that she possibly could. Of course, that involved simply discussing my predicament and feelings, but still, having another’s opinion was incredibly useful and comforting. Along with that, it was heartwarming to know that even though she didn’t know me, she was willing to waste at least thirty minutes or more helping me out.

I told her absolutely everything that I could, much of it abbreviated of course. Along with that, I tried my best to avoid mentioning anything about Equestria, magic, or mythical creatures. I told her about my time with Sunset and my feelings towards her and the girls. I told her about our break up and the sirens. I told her about Pinkie and our awkward night together. Finally, I told her about the fight with Sunset Shimmer, and the way the sirens abandoned me in my time of need. I then explained how I was feeling. How I wanted to return to Sunset and her friends, how I wanted to apologize to all of them but was too afraid to.

Her responses were perfect, even if I didn’t think so at the time. She told me over and over that everyone makes mistakes, and it wasn’t just me that made them in that situation. Sunset had too. The sirens definitely had as well. Even Pinkie had made a mistake. She told me that she understood why I was so hesitant about apologizing, not only because of the possibility of embarrassment, but due to the fact that Sunset, Pinkie and the others were the perfect friends. From what it seemed like to her, I was afraid to lose them, even if it seemed like I already had. I simply didn’t want to have it finalized. That’s why I was afraid, whether I be the one to end up finalizing our ‘breakup’ or them. I wanted to have them beside me again, to help me get better. She told me that in her situation, if she was one of them, she would realize her mistakes and the need to apologize, but would be too afraid and embarrassed. She was sure they wanted to though. One of us would have to make a move, and from what it seemed like, that would have to be me. She told me that she knew how daunting the task sounded, but once I did apologize, she was sure things would work out, even if they started out slow. If the situation didn’t end well, at least I could move on. She was right, she was very right, I could feel it too. Sadly, I still couldn’t admit that to myself. Even though my heart was pounding and my stomaching churning, I somehow managed to convince myself that her information was rather pointless. I thanked her anyways, and asked her if she wanted to stay in contact. She said she’d rather not. She was simply doing her part to help, and there were many more who needed it. I was rather unimpressed with that at the time, but now, I realize what an amazing person she is and wonder if she still does her part.

By the time we had finished our discussion, the sun had gone behind the hills, but its light could still be seen in the darkening blue sky. The wind was picking up slightly as well, creating a cool breeze. This chilled me, and I decided to head inside for the night. I lay on my bed with the light on as I attempted to do homework. Yet, all I could think about was what that girl had said, and ways to discount or push away any decisive actions on the matter. Even with all the thinking I did that night, it would be days before I finally realized the truth in her words. It would be even a few days after that realization before I acted upon it. I did finally act though, and it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

Apologies

My routine continued as it had been; a routine of loneliness that had grown so familiar to me that for the most part, it seemed as though nothing was too wrong at all. That began to change though, slowly at first, until it then hit me at full force one morning.
I began to feel an urge, an itch for socialization. It was a longing to speak with Sunset, Pinkie, even Fluttershy, Rainbow, those I barely talked to. I could hardly consider them my friends, but I wanted to chat with them, spend time with them. My stomach stirred during my nights spent alone. There was a spark inside me, a rush of energy surged through my muscles and mind. I did not only want to talk to them, I needed to. Yet, what I had to do for such a privilege to become normal to me was quite dissuading. The idea of it pushed my thoughts back to the sanctuary tucked beneath the blankets on my bed. When I did get under those blankets and rested my head upon the cool pillow beneath me, I couldn’t help but think of those girls again and again. This was especially so on one particular night.

I awoke the next morning with an extreme sense of urgency. I lunged forward into a seating position, my blankets flying off of my upper body. My eyes then darted to the digital numbers displayed on my bedside clock, under the impression that I had slept in much too late. It didn’t even cross my mind that the light shining in through my window was still dull. Squinting at the clock, my vision still blurred with sleep, I realized that I had awoken around twenty minutes before my alarm would even go off. Letting out a sigh of relief, the shock and worry in my mind transformed into a new urgency. What that wonderful stranger had told me was repeating again and again in my mind along with thoughts of Sunset, Pinkie and the others. I knew then exactly what I had to do, needed to do, and wanted to do. I had to apologize, no matter how hard it was for me. Everything, at least hopefully, would be better then. I could slowly patch my friendship with Sunset, return to my friendship with Pinkie, and even strengthen my bond with the other girls and hopefully create friendships with them as well. For once in quite some time, I was up early, wide awake, and determined to head off to school. The homework that I did not finish the night before lay scattered across the floor. Unlike shrugging it off like I normally would, I began to do it, simply to pass the time before heading off to school.

***

My morning classes dragged on as they always did, but seemingly even slower than that. For once in quite some time, I actually had a goal, a real goal rather than retreating back to my home. Even though I was eager, I was also incredibly hesitant. One second I would be wishing for the clock on the wall in front of me to tick faster, and the next, I thought the previous tick had come too fast and was begging for it to slow down. Considering how much attention I had been paying to the clock, along with the one on my phone when I would peek down at it in my lap, I was actually surprised when the metallic buzz of the bell rang through my ears.

I jolted up from my seat in a panic, banging my knees on the desk above them. I groaned softly to myself as I continued to struggle to get up onto two feet. Finally I did, and then began shoveling my things into my backpack without a second thought for any organization. My mind was fully focused on the stress filled lunch I had ahead of me. The fact that I was already becoming late compared to my usual schedule made the notion seem much more urgent that it already was. I wanted to speak with the girls as soon as possible, but I had to wait in a line most likely already a mile long with annoying, unruly students.

The halls were completely silent as the soles of my shoes clacked against and slid across the slippery tiles beneath me. The familiar and disheartening roar of the overflowing lunchroom grew louder and louder as I approached. My awkward run slowed into a defeated amble as I saw the line before me. Memories of my first day at the school filled my mind, at how surprised I was to see the line extending far out from the lunchroom as it was on that day as well. After all I had been through during my time at Canterlot High School, it seemed like it had been years since then. It certainly wasn’t as much of a surprise as it was that first day, but it was just as disappointing, if not more so. I sighed heavily and paced back and forth at the end of the line after reaching it. I was as ready as I ever would be, and I knew that waiting would make me more prone to thinking otherwise. I couldn’t hesitate, even if I was forced to rather than it being my own choice.

A few other students had lined up behind me since those thoughts began, and I could feel their curious eyes upon me as I stepped away from the line, my determination returning. I few other heads turned to me as I pushed my way by the many, eager students. Even though I was aware of how fake and even cheesy it seemed, I had some kind of notion that their eyes continued to watch me after first glance. I then imagined many more following my movements as well, wondering what kind of mission I was on. It made me nervous. Yet, it wasn’t like none of the students brought their own lunches. Students walked past that line without a second glace all of the time, and I was no different. I was probably even less noticeable.

The atmosphere grew even more intense and chaotic as I passed through the cafeteria’s open doorway. The roar grew even louder, and the scene before me was filled with students busily going to and from lunch tables or the line while other’s laughed loudly, yelled, and chatted energetically. It made me feel weak. I wanted to cower away from the mass of students before me, back into the quiet halls, but there they were, all of them. I paused for a moment, my panic switching from external to internal as the sounds around me seemed to grow muffled. I could hear my heart pounding quickly against my chest. I could feel my stomach churning and the blood pumping through my veins. My mind was ablaze with repetitive thoughts of what I had to do, and the many outcomes it could cause. Somehow, my resolve was still steady, perhaps even stronger than it had been while I anxiously paced back and forth in line. I had completely forgotten about my empty stomach, all I cared about was the mission I had given myself.

My body felt as though it was growing weaker and weaker the closer I grew to the girls, completely forgetting about the hordes of students around me. I forced down a gulp, my throat feeling painfully dry, and then grimaced, my head pulsating. My breathing was quickening as well, my lungs feeling incredibly small. My eyes darted back and forth from girl to girl, watching as they talked and giggled. They were so entranced by their own conversation that they had not yet noticed my approach. I was rather relieved by that, but still, I knew the moment would soon come when all of their large eyes would turn to me. I stumbled over my own feet, much too caught up in thinking about the near future to be paying attention to the present. The sudden jolting of my arms while I corrected myself caught the attention of a pair of bright ocean colored eyes.

“Oh my gosh! Hi!” Pinkie yelped with joy, nearly bouncing out of her seat.

Damn it, Pinkie… stop… great, I thought to myself in a panic as all eyes darted towards me. My face immediately grew warm, I was sure it was entirely red. Well, this is it, the moment of truth. No turning back now… “Uh, hey, Pinkie, Sunset, Rainbow, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity,” I sucked in a breath of air, wondering why I decided to acknowledge each one of them individually instead of just saying the usual, ‘hey girls,’ and being done with it. I was already overanalyzing my every move, that was a great sign of what was to come.

“Watcha doin?” Pinkie asked giddily. I knew she was rarely angry at anything, but I was sure she would at least be a bit ticked about my having not talked to her for weeks. I could feel all of their eyes upon me, gazing into my very soul. At least each and every one of their looks was one of confusion or curiosity rather than rage, and of course there was Pinkie’s always happy and friendly gaze.

“Uh… well…I… uh…” I gulped again, my throat feeling even drier than it had before. That was it, there was truly was no turning back, unless, of course, I turned and ran like an idiot. I was surprised that I had gotten myself that far. I must have had a bit of faith in myself after all.

“Well, uh, what?” Pinkie asked with a giggle.

“I… I came to apologize… to all of you.” After my statement, the mood of the entire table changed, and Pinkie’s face grew solemn. Trust me, you know things are serious when Pinkie is. I was expecting at least one of them to respond to what I’d said, but instead, they were all silent. Their attention was on me, waiting for my next move. “I, uh, I guess I’d like to start with you, Sunset.” She raised her eyebrow as I turned to her, not in a mean or contradicting way though. “I shouldn’t have ever gotten so mad at you or refused all that help you offered… I… I was just still bitter. All you wanted to do was help. I’m sorry, and I want to be your friend again, a good one.”

Sunset sighed and then gave me what I could tell was a heartfelt smile. “Thank you, I’m sorry too. You were right to be angry. I left you so suddenly, and without much of an explanation. In a way, you’re sort of right about everything. I did cling to you because you were one of the few that cared for me. That doesn’t mean I never actually loved you though. It just took me a while to realize that I loved you more as a friend than… well, you know. I have no excuse for ignoring you the way I did though. I did get sort of caught up in bettering myself, just like you said. Honestly, I was too caught up to even realize that I was.”

My heart continued to pound, but this time it was a completely different and much warmer experience. “It’s okay… I-I’m glad that you did. You seem much happier now,” I said with a smile.

“I just wish I could’ve gotten this far a bit differently. I never wanted to hurt you.” She stood up to hug me, but I stuck out my hand to stop her.

“Hold on, let me get the rest of this off of my chest. I probably should now before I get too nervous. Anyways, Pinkie…” I muttered, turning my attention to the oddly stern looking girl. Her brightly colored outfit and bouncy curls made her expression seem even more ridiculous than it already was.

“Yes?” she asked softly.

“I’m sorry for just, well, basically abandoning you. I never should have done that. You’ve been such a good friend to me. I can’t just leave that all behind. I want to return the favor. I know I really haven’t yet. I thought I couldn’t handle just being your friend, but it’s pretty hard not even having you as that.” My heart jumped as I watched tears trickle down from her eyes, sparkling in the florescent light from above.

“No, no… it’s okay. I’m really super glad you’re back though. You’re a good friend, no matter what.” I could feel my eyes grow heavy as I too felt like crying. I cringed, trying to hold back the tears. It would be hard to continue, but I was almost there. I couldn’t stop when I was nearly finished.

“As…” I took a deep breath, still struggling to hold back my tears. “As for everyone else, I never should have left this table, this group. I know I wasn’t that close to any of you, but you were still better friends than those sirens… If I could even consider them friends, I mean. That was pretty stupid of me. I’m sorry.”

“I think I speak for all of us when I say I’m sorry, too, darling,” Rarity piped in with a soft but caring smile. I had no idea what she was trying to get across, but the other girls seemed to nod in agreement. I gazed ahead, my attention focused on none of them in particular. My mouth opened as if to speak, but I was so lost in trying to process what she meant that nothing came out.

“She’s right, you know,” Rainbow Dash said with a shrug.

“Mhm,” Fluttershy muttered softly, her nod even softer.

Then Applejack spoke up. “Uh, huh, Pinkie told us what ya told her, about how we never really seemed to appreciate ya much.”

“About how you felt as though even though we included you in our little group, you never were actually a part of it,” Rarity added.

“Yeah, we wanna change that,” Rainbow said in a rather confident tone. We want you to be a part of us for real this time.”

“And, um, we want to help you get better…” Fluttershy said softly, her teal eyes darting up at me through her shimmering, pink bangs.

“Get better?” I asked curiously, for a moment completely forgetting the bout of depression I had been going through.

“Of course, dear, we want you to enjoy the more simple things in life again.”

“We want you to be happy!” Pinkie cheered, giving me a grin. Stunned by the sudden affection, something I hadn’t received from anyone besides my mother and stepfather in quite some time, I was unable to react, my mouth hanging open. I watched almost blankly as each of the girls stood up from the lunch table with caring smiles upon their faces. I was engulfed in warmth as their arms wrapped around me and their bodies pressed against mine in a group hug. Suddenly, all the emotions that I had unhealthily trapped inside me since the end of my argument with Sunset and my abandonment by her and the sirens came forward at full force. Their voices along with the many others in the cafeteria molded into an incomprehensible hum, and my vision blurred as salty tears filled my eyes.

“Fuck,” I muttered softly to myself, knowing I would be unable to hold back emotion with that much strength. I weakly took in a gasp of air as I felt the cooling tears trickle down my cheeks. I could feel the many faces close to my own pull away, barely able to see them through the wet film. All I knew was that they were quite concerned. “I…I…” I struggled to push out, my voice weakened. “Th…thanks.”

“Aww,” Pinkie cooed sweetly as I broke the hug to wipe the tears from my eyes. She was standing directly in front of my, her lower lip hanging down in the form of a pout. “We’ll make it all better. I Promise!”

I nearly stumbled backwards as Rarity shoved an empty seat into the back of my legs. “I’d recommend taking a rest. You look rather shaken.” I nodded my head and slumped down into the uncomfortable plastic chair, allowing my mind to fire off with disbelief. I had been hoping for the best when I apologized, but never something as amazing and wonderful as what I had just experienced. I had somehow, even after all I had seen them do, managed to warp my perception of the girls, telling myself that they were nowhere near as good as they seemed. In reality, they were. After everything I had done to screw up, they were still willing to help. They certainly believed in the power that friendship held, and it seemed like that was exactly what they were going to use to help me out of my funk… although calling it a funk would be putting it lightly.

Still processing everything that had happened, I played little part in their discussion that day at lunch, although I did listen to every detail. Basically, their plan was to help me to, more or less, forget about the past events that had sent me spiraling down to such a state before then accepting them once I had recovered. Exactly as they had stated earlier, this process would begin with my inclusion into their friend group. I would be spending time with each of them. This would not only help get my mind off of my multitude of mistakes and bad luck, but help me get to know each of the girls a little better. Both occupying my mind and developing new friendships would help me reach a better place.

“Well, I’m gonna be practicing for soccer a bit tomorrow after school gets out. You wanna tag along?” Rainbow Dash asked, stretching before resting her hands behind her head.

“Aren’t ya gonna do that with the team this evenin’?” Applejack questioned.

“Yeah, but too much practice never hurts,” Rainbow snapped back proudly. “I have to be better than the best.”

“Um… actually,” Fluttershy mumbled softly. “… Sometimes it does. You could strain a muscle or-”

“Yeah, yeah, can it, Fluttershy. I know, and I won’t,” Rainbow said with a huff, rolling her eyes at her defeated friend. She then smiled and gave her a harsh pat on the back.

Fluttershy gasped slightly at the sudden touch, and then muttered a soft, “Okay.”

Rainbow’s pink eyes, beaming with confidence, turned back to me. She grinned, her teeth seeming to glimmer in the artificial light. “So whaddya say? Want to?”

I was incredibly overjoyed with all that had taken place thus far. So much so that I managed to forget whatever perceived schedule I had come up with in my lonesome over those many weeks. A schedule filled with plenty of time for myself and even more for homework that I never did. “Sure!” I exclaimed, smiling afterwards, surprised by my own enthusiasm. “I need to be more active anyways.”

“Huh, more active? If this soccer practice goes well, maybe I’ll come up with a routine for ya. I wouldn’t mind coaching you or something… that is if you’re cool with a girl bossing you around. I’m a pretty harsh trainer too,” Rainbow said with a chuckle. “Don’t take an offer like this lightly.”

“I wouldn’t mind that, but yeah, let’s see how soccer goes first.” In the back of my mind, I was questionng such a decision, along with everything I was saying. Would I really have the drive to become more active? Would having Rainbow Dash as my trainer make me despise her more than want to become her friend? I knew how cocky and harsh she could be. The last time I had played soccer was in middle school, and I had no clue what I was doing and still didn’t. Was I really insane enough to play a game with the best soccer player at CHS? I was. I was in the best mood I had been in what seemed like ages, and I had a new drive, a new craving to do just about anything at all. It was an amazing feeling. Although, I wondered how long it would last. It was simply a way to pass the time, and for what? The happiness that I sought, what I truly desired, was love. I was still under the impression that I could never find the real thing.

A Friend on the Field

The early evening was hot, and the sun still rested high in the sky above. The bright green field before me was only recently mowed, a slight pleasant scent of it lingering. The perfect white lines which divided its space into a functional soccer field were vibrant and recently added as well. Rainbow Dash stood in its center, expertly kneeing the ball up into the air before catching it in the crook formed by her foot and ankle, and then repeating the process. Her apparel was much more appropriate than mine. She wore a blue jersey with bright yellow stripes going down its sleeves and sides along with the matching shorts for our school’s team, the Wondercolts, along with what looked to be a newly purchased pair of white soccer cleats. The shorts were, of course, rather short and extremely well fitted to her slender yet toned legs. The jersey was a bit more baggy, but still small enough to vaguely accentuate her upper body, its form very well built mainly due to the extent of physical exercise she performed on a daily basis.

I, on the other hand, wore an old white t-shirt I had most likely had since my freshman year of high school. Small holes were torn from its sleeves and lower near its bottom. With the threat of grass stains and mud, I was in no way wearing one of my good shirts. Along with that, I wore a pair of even more ancient black gym shorts from my early middle school days. They were much too large and baggy when my mother first bought them for me, and somehow, even after all those years of growth, they still seemed too spacious. Finally there was the pair of shoes I wore everyday on every occasion. I honestly had no others besides them. They were already getting somewhat worn out after close to a year of use.

Even wearing such a small amount of clothing, I could feel my body temperature rising from the intense sun glaring down upon me. I had hoped earlier that day that it would cloud over or at least the breeze would pick up. Of course it didn’t. “Come on, hurry it up. Let’s play already,” Rainbow whined as I approached.

“I’m conserving my energy for the game,” I joked, quickening my walk ever so slightly.

“Oh yeah, well you’re gonna need it,” she said both proudly and teasingly as she placed the white and black ball in the center circle on the field. I came to a stop a couple of feet before her and scratched the back of my head nervously, my hair warmed by the sun. “Ready when you are. Actually no, I’ve been ready.”

“Uh, alright,” I muttered, looking at her curiously as I stepped into the circle and tried my best to mirror her position.

She chuckled at what I assumed to be my absent gaze. “You have no idea what you’re doing, do you?”

“Um, no, not really,” I admitted with a shrug.

“Well, good thing it’s just you and me. That’ll make things a lot simpler. When I say go, we both fight for the ball. If you get it, try to get it in the goal, the one behind me, not you. If I get it, try to stop me from getting it into your goal. You can block the goal or try to kick the ball away from me before I get there. A goal is a point. When I, er, one of us gets one, we’ll just come back to the center and start over since we can’t really do much else without a team. Sound good?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Before I even had time to run through the short sequence of rules she had given, “GO!” rang through my ears. My body stiffened from the sudden surprise, and I didn’t even have a chance to react. Before my body even began to move in the slightest, she was already at least ten feet beyond me and speeding towards my goal at an unbelievably quick pace. Energy rushed through my leg muscles as I sprang into action, taking an awkward leap which I hadn’t even planned on performing before chasing after her at full blast. To my surprise, I caught up to her rather quickly. Though my breathing and heartrate were already increasing.

What false inspiration I had gained from catching the athlete soon dissipated as I tried to take the ball. Every time I extended my foot in its direction it was either blocked by her own foot or leg or expertly dodged by her rather graceful, face paced maneuvers. I was so concentrated on breaching her blocks or outmaneuvering her in some miraculous way that I had no time to notice how quickly we were still inching towards the goal until it was too late. With a swift kick the ball disappeared from my view and I heard a soft whoosh as it smacked into the back of the net. I stumbled to a halt and looked at the goal in astonishment as if having to assure myself that the ball was in fact inside of it. “Heh, you weren’t even trying,” Rainbow teased, giving me a pat on the back as she strutted off to retrieve the ball.

I clenched my fists together, wondering if the girl was mocking me on purpose. I then moved on to assuring myself that yes, in fact, I was trying incredibly hard, her skills were simply much greater compared to my rudimentary knowledge of the game and my lack of practice within it. I sighed before convincing myself that I could at least try somewhat harder.

Of course, this did me no good, besides the fact of exerting myself that is. We returned to the circle again and again, and each time Rainbow Dash would expertly take the ball before I did. I was sure she barely even had to try with even my greatest efforts to steal the ball for myself. Even when I did, on the rare occasion, manage to attack the ball first, I normally ended up kicking it away from myself in a panic, or she would take it from me before I was able to move a few feet in the direction of her goal. I was growing more and more winded and fatigued with every movement I made, along with feeling more enraged after every goal she made. I wasn’t only feeling heated from the anger though. The sun seemed to be growing even more intense the longer I was exposed to it. It was hard to realize how much I was sweating with how focused I was upon the game and my anger towards it. That was until a gentle breeze pushed its way through the dampening fabric of my shirt, cooling me just slightly. It was at that moment that it all hit me. Walking back towards the center circle, I stopped and let my upper torso slump forward as I panted heavily, my lungs on fire. The pain inside them made me feel as though I was going to fall forward onto the ground.

“Whoa, you okay?” she called. “Probably shouldn’t push yourself too hard since it’s your first day.”

“I… it’s you… I just… I can’t do it… I can’t keep up,” I pushed out in between my heaving breathes.

“I know, I know, I’m just too good. It’s cool. Here, how about this? We’re definitely not done with our session yet, but I’ll go easy on you. Besides, you need more practice anyways. I’ll show you the basics, and you can try them for yourself.”

“Alright, just, uh, give me a minute,” I muttered out in pain. I was honestly beginning to hate the girl at that point. She was much too self-centered for her own good and seemed much too proud in defeating someone as horrible as I was. Yet, suddenly, that all changed. Rainbow Dash had a softer side after all. No wonder why the other girls considered her such a good friend. I was beginning to understand.

With my hands on my knees, I lifted my head and watched as she made her way to a sports bag she had left on the sidelines. It wasn’t long before she returned, heading towards me with two bottles in hand, bottles filled with glorious water. “Here,” she said, tossing one of the bottles so that it landed on the grass in front of me. “Looks like you need it, and ya know, gotta stay hydrated and all.”

I thanked her much more graciously than was necessary, struggled to screw of the bottle’s cap, and gulped down its contents. My eyes blinked open after the last of the wonderful, lukewarm liquid dripped onto my tongue to see her smirking, one hand resting on her hip as she sipped at her water. I looked at her questioningly, wondering the cause of such an expression. “If you stick with me, I bet I’ll have you fit in no time at all.”

I laughed softly at the statement, knowing it to be much more than true. “Yeah, but I might die or something if we keep going like this.”

She chuckled. “Exercise isn’t gonna kill you. That’s a pretty pathetic excuse if you ask me.”

What, the fact that it was a joke or do you literally meaning dying isn’t a good excuse to stop doing something? I thought to myself before speaking. “Yeah, sure,” I said with a smile.

“Ready, or do you need another minute?” she asked in a rather considerate tone, especially compared to what she had been saying during our game.

“Yes… thanks,” I muttered, finally forcing myself into a standing position rather than squatting like an idiot. We looked at each other and to the glowing field in an incredibly peaceful moment of silence. Something about seeing Rainbow Dash in her element amplified the beauty of her tomboyish, athletic appearance. The small and few beads of perspiration on her face which was flushed lightly from exertion acted as an accessory, fitting so perfectly with her personality. I watched, still completely silent, as she took another drink from her bottle, seeming to conserve most of the liquid for later unlike I had. I knew in the back of my head and even told myself that I had absolutely no chance with a girl like her whatsoever. If I somehow did, we had little in common, and the whole idea of opposites attracting never seemed to be good in practice, even if it was in theory. It was hopeless, yet for whatever reason, I was hopeful. I barely knew Rainbow, yet visions of our soccer exercises warping into some kind of cheesy romantic date filled my mind. These were quickly lost when she snapped me back into reality, but my affections for her continued to grow.

First, she showed me, or at least attempted to show me how to maneuver with the ball as she did. She explained and showed each of her movements in careful detail, and I tried my hardest to listen, understand, and repeat. Sadly, most, if not all of what she was saying went right over my head. My body was much too uncoordinated to perform any of the actions even if I had understood anyways. Although she grew a bit angered on occasion, she was always a good sport, using encouragement rather than insults like she had previously. Well, of course, there was the occasional insult, but I could tell she never fully meant them. Perhaps she had figured out my personality, and well enough to train me like she wanted to. I was sure she would never have been so kind to me if it wasn’t for the soul purpose of achieving her own goal. Otherwise she would have been just as insulting as she always was. The encouragement still felt nice though, and increased my mood even further.

“Alright,” she said with a chuckle after I managed to trip over my own feet and fall to the ground. “How about we move on to getting it into the goal. I think it’ll be a bit easier… well, maybe not so much with me blocking.”

She explained to me that the goalie will anticipate the moves of the kicker, and that I should do the same with the goalie. I needed to see it from the goalie’s view and that was how I could trick her. It sounded good to me as a thought, but it turned out it was something I never ended up pulling off. Even when I tried my hardest to trick her, Rainbow easily blocked my shots every single time. She gave me the smuggest of smirks while doing so as well, knowing how much it annoyed me and how much effort I had put into planning my kicks out. At least I was giving her some good exercise. There were no longer perfect beads of sweat upon her face. Instead there was steaks, her multicolored hair growing damp as well. I was getting a fairly good workout myself. My leg muscles were straining with each of my maneuvers and then my finishing kicks. My legs would tremble whenever I took pause, and I could feel a fiery burn within them.

Even though it felt as if I was overheating, I had grown used to the intense sun above us. When it began to sink lower into the sky, I could feel that intensity beginning to drop. The sweat on my body was feeling much cooler than it had. With the world around us tinted in an increasingly orange hue, Rainbow Dash finally called it a day after blocking my final shot. “Impressive,” she said with a sigh of exhaustion as she made her way towards me, the ball in her hands.

“Impressive?” I asked curiously, knowing I hadn’t done anything correctly for our entire time out on the field.

“Don’t take it hard. You do realized you just played with the best of the best, right? Of course you weren’t going to score once, even if it was practice.”

“Uh, yeah, sure,” I muttered, realizing that what she was stating was indeed true, well, a bit over exaggerated.

“With me teaching you, you’ll be an expert in no time.”

“I guess so, but do we really have to focus on soccer?”

“Oh, yeah, that’s right,” Rainbow muttered, almost astonished by the realization. “I just need to get you into shape, not make you some superstar athlete, huh?”

“Yep, exactly.”

“You sure you don’t want to be the next big star on the men’s team or something.”

“Yeah, I’m definitely sure.” The idea of being a strong, popular student with plenty of material girls hanging off of my arms seemed somewhat enticing, but I hated sports and the idea of being so ignorant and cruel like most jocks were.

“Huh, alright,” she said, lifting up her fist with a proud smile. I bumped my own against it and her smile widened into a grin. “You did pretty good out there like I said, and I had fun. You seem cool enough, I guess.”

“You’re not saying that just because you didn’t have to worry or try hard at all to win, are you?”

She laughed. “Heh, nah, I actually think it’s more fun if there’s a challenge. Training you is definitely going to be one.”

“I, uh, well, thanks?” I had no clue whether or not she meant the statement as an insult, a compliment, or neither of the two.

“No problem.” Suddenly, and to my surprise, especially coming from a girl like her, I was pulled into a quick, but incredibly strong hug. As I tried to suck back in the air that was being squeezed from my lungs, I noticed the odd, slightly uncomfortable sensation of the dampness of her body pressing against my own. Along with that, the air that I was breathing in smelled of perspiration covered up only slightly by the deodorant she wore. Although it was odd at first, in a way, it ended up smelling good. Once again, I was seeing, or rather smelling her in her element. The smell, natural in itself, seemed even more natural on her. I was almost disappointed when she pulled away, even if at first I was hoping it would end it as quickly as she could. For a moment, I stared at her, her eyes still as confident as ever but slightly glazed from our workout. I darted my head down soon after, realizing what I was doing. I hoped she wouldn’t notice, even though I knew she had. As long as she ignored it, we could both pretend to be ignorant. I was beginning to like her a bit too much for my own good, considering the fact that I knew it would never work out.

“Well, I enjoyed that surprisingly. It felt good to get my body working like that. Well, it does now, I mean. During, it was horrible,” I said with a laugh, still avoiding eye contact.

“I guess we could start out by doing this once a week, or do you wanna go harder?”

“Yeah, no…” I said with a sigh, letting my body hunch slightly. “I think once a week is plenty for now.”

“For now,” she said sternly. “It’s not gonna stay that way if you want to get in shape, ya know?”

“Yeah, I know.”

“I’ll think of something for us to do next week. See ya tomorrow,” she said in a rather relaxed tone as she punched my shoulder before turning to leave.

I could tell you that the reason I was so eager to start an exercise plan with Rainbow Dash was because I needed to get in shape, and I did, but I could have easily done so myself without her help. The real reason I had agreed to it was because I wanted to spend more time with her. I wanted to deepen our connection, if we even had one. If not, we would have time to develop one. As I said before, I wasn’t dumb enough to miss the fact that the two of us certainly weren’t a good combination in the realm of dating, but I was still hopeful we could at least develop something, stupidly hopeful maybe. I wasn’t just interested in her in that way specifically though. I was anxious to become her friend as well, maybe get as close to her as I had with Pinkie. I had mixed emotions about how exactly I wanted our relationship to develop, but I certainly did want it to.

Coming Out of Her Shell

It was only a couple of evenings later that I was making my way to the local animal shelter with Fluttershy to volunteer. Of course, she wasn’t the one to invite me, at least not officially. She wanted to, of course, helping me and going along with her friends plan. I don’t think she had the nerve to ask something of someone whom she only knew as an acquaintance though. After plenty of encouragement from her friends, and then an eventual pseudo form of asking for her, I agreed. I always liked animals, probably not as much of her of course, but I needed to get out again after all. I had enough time so that I once again began to think of my many mistakes and unlucky situations once more. That wasn’t a good thing. Besides, I enjoyed spending time with Rainbow Dash and was eager to see what the others did to pass their time.

“So, uh, how often do you do this exactly?” I asked her as we walked down the sidewalk. The warm sun was beaming down on us and occasionally glaring off storefront windows, causing us to squint. I could barely hear her soft voice over the whir of a car passing by on the road. “What was that?” I asked.

“Oh, sorry… I try to as much as I can, but with so much homework, I only get down here about twice or three times a week. I really do wish I could help all of those poor little homeless critters more though.” I was sure that was the longest I had ever heard her talk to me specifically. I had not only found the perfect subject to get her talking, but it also seemed as if she was more comfortable with doing so when it was only the two of us. Well, at least it forced her to that is.

“I’d say two or three days is more than enough with school and everything,” I said with a shrug.

“Oh, yes, I guess you’re right... and, um, I do need the occasional day off too,” she said with a soft but nervous laugh. “I always make up for it in the summer though.”

“Do you volunteer fulltime in the summer or something?”

“Mhm, as close to fulltime as I can get that is. I really do need to get a job this summer though, but oh, all of those poor little pets,” she said with a defeated sigh.

“Yeah, that does seem like a tough choice,” I said to in an attempt to comfort her.

“You really think so? All of the other girls think money, money, money. It’s always so much more important than the wellbeing of animals.”

“Y-yeah, keeping animals happy is pretty important too.”

“But I don’t know, I can’t just volunteer forever. I guess I will have to cut down on my hours there and get a…” she paused, letting out an anxious gulp, “a job.”

“Eh, it’s not too bad, I guess… I need to start looking for a job too.”

“You could always help Applejack down on her family’s farm!” she gasped excitedly before her eyes shot down in embarrassment. “Except… I don’t know if they really take any outside help. “Oh, or you could work at Sugarcube Corner with Pinkie in the summer.”

“Hmm, I’ll think about it, I guess.” Although I knew I needed a job, I certainly wasn’t ready to start searching. I wanted to hold off until it absolutely needed to be done. After crossing a street, the name of which I didn’t catch, I looked up from the grungy sidewalk to see exactly where we were headed. A block ahead and on the corner of the next street was the sign for the animal shelter, displaying both a cartoon-esque cat and dog.

“Well, this is it,” Fluttershy said, pulling out a small ring of keys from her bag as we approached the entrance. I was rather surprised when she stuck a key into its lock.

“Wait, is it not open, or?”

“Well, they can’t run it all day. The people who volunteer here have to have jobs too. It opens and closes every few hours,” she said as she turned the key and opened up the door. The woofing of a few dogs poured out from inside.

"So, are you the only one coming in for now then? It seems this would be the time most people could make it.”

“Oh, yes, it is, but it’s also the time most people have to spend with their families or relaxing too. Normally when I come in, I do everything on my own to give them a break.” I was surprised not only by the fact that she could basically run the place on her own, but by how truly kind the girl was. She happened to notice my surprise as well. “It’s not too bad though, there’s never too many animals in here which is a really good thing.”

“Oh, alright.”

“… But I am grateful for the extra help.”

“I haven’t done anything yet, but you’re welcome,” I said with a laugh as we walked inside.

“Hello there,” Fluttershy said as she flicked on the light and went about opening a few cages. A couple of friendly dogs with wagging tails came over to see me. As I was petting them, I noticed a separate room walled off with glass along with a second much larger one. The first contained an assortment of cats and the second had a massive maze of transparent pipes. At closer inspection, I discovered the many pipes were filled with hamsters.

“Whoa… that’s a lot of hamsters,” I muttered, observing a few as they made their way through the little pathways.

“Oh yes, they’re our biggest population here.”

“Huh, I wonder why?”

“I really have no idea, I’m not sure who would ever want to get rid of one of these adorable little guys.”

“Yeah, they have a pretty impressive home here though.”

“Yes, but it’s very hard to clean. I did that the last time I was here,” she said, a look of what almost came off as horror upon her face. “Anyways, want to help me with the food and water? I’ll do the cat litter. Then we’ll take the puppies out for a short walk.”

“Sure, what do I need to do?” I was grateful that I wasn’t assigned the cat litter job.

After the simple task was explained to me, I went about cleaning out the food and water bowls before refilling them to the brim and placing them back in their rightful locations. Along with that, all of the residents got a special treat as well. A dish of canned meat and gravy which looked more like a slab of meat with water for the cats, an assortment of bones and rawhides for the dogs, and some kind of honey biscuit treats for the hamsters. Although the treat giving made the task a bit more enjoyable, it was still rather dull. I didn’t even have a chance to talk to Fluttershy much since we were both busy.

“It’ll be nice not to have to take multiple walks today,” Fluttershy said softly behind me. Busily filling a bowl inside one of the cat’s cages, I jumped slightly at the sudden, unexpected noise.

“Gah!” I groaned as the metallic sound of the cage resonated in my ears and pain slowly pulsed through my skull.

“Oh… oh my, I’m sorry,” she muttered in despair.

“It’s fine,” I muttered, cautiously pulling away from the small cage door as to not hit my head again. I turned around to see her eyes wide with fear and embarrassment, and a hand covering her mouth. “It really is. I just didn’t hear you come up behind me.”

“I should have announced myself. I’m so sorry.”

I smiled as a rubbed my head, the point of impact still stinging. “It’s fine, really. I promise.”

Suddenly her hand wrapped around my wrist as she pulled my fingers away from the bump. Parting my hair, she examined it thoroughly before deciding my response was truthful. She certainly was much less fearful of getting close and personal when someone or something was in danger, even if it was extremely minor danger. “Okay, I’m just glad I didn’t do too much damage.”

“Anyways, what were you saying?”

“Oh… um, I was just saying it’s nice that you’re here to help today. I normally have to take more than one walk for each dog to have his or her exercise, but with you here, I think we can do it all in one run. You don’t mind walking more than one dog at once, do you?”

“No, I guess not,” I said with a shrug. “Er… do they pull a lot?”

“Oh, nothing too bad, I can keep them in line if they do.”

I chuckled at the thought, how could such a quiet girl be good at keeping animals behaved. “Uh, alright.”

Pulling out the leashes from the closet, we were quickly surrounded by eager dogs, yipping and waging their tails. The variety of harnesses and clips for their collars got rather confusing, especially due to the fact that I had no clue how to put most of them on. Of course, with a little help from Fluttershy, everything went perfectly fine. With two dogs in each had, and two more in hers, we set off on our short trek up and down a few streets. The first half of our walk was completely silent. Although Fluttershy did seem nervous, the situation never grew too awkward. I was busy anyways, becoming familiar with having leashes in my hands along with much too excited dogs attempting to pull them away. After I did get comfortable though, the silence finally began to settle in.

“So, why do you like animals so much anyways?” I asked, speaking the first thing that came to mind. I could tell I caught her off guard by the soft, unintelligible mumbles that escaped her mouth before she spoke.

“… Well, I’ve always loved them since I was really young. Going outside into my yard or to the park always absolutely amazed me. It was like going on an adventure to a completely different world. There was so much to see and so many sweet adorable animals to talk to. I didn’t have many friends when I was that young. So animals and nature became my friends.”

“Ah, and I guess it just stuck?”

“Oh, yes, it’s sad to see how many of us ignore and neglect nature, especially when we keep those critters in our home like these guys and girls.”

“Hmm, yeah, it really is. Why do they even get pets if they end up abandoning them?”

“You’re right, but I guess we can’t fully blame them either. I’m sure there’s situations and circumstances we don’t hear about.”

“I guess so.” It was amazing to hear the girl talk so much, and even better, express her own opinions honestly. Normally those opinions would change slightly to appease the other girls. It was as if I was talking to a completely different person than the Fluttershy I originally knew. I was amazed, really. For whatever reason, at least for the time being, she was comfortable enough around me to let down her defenses and come out of her extremely tough shell. I don’t know how I managed to breach it, but I was incredibly glad that I did. “Gah!” I yelped. Not noticing that one of the dogs had spotted a squirrel, I was taken by surprise when it lunged forward. The other dogs did so as well in what could only be described as a chain reaction of one dog after the other. I easily regained my balance, but the sequence of sudden tugs had certainly gotten my heart pounding, along with Fluttershy’s as well.

“Are you okay?” she asked, giggling softly. I felt as though her question was slightly mocking, a surprise coming from her.

“Yeah, that got my adrenaline pumping a bit, but I’m good,” a said with a sigh, laughing at myself along with her odd attitude towards the situation.

“Heheh,” she giggled a bit louder with a smile, “same. I didn’t see that squirrel either.”

Although she was so close to being the polar opposite of Rainbow Dash, I was falling for Fluttershy’s own unique personality and charms just as I had with the other girl. Yet, I wasn’t quite sure if I was falling for friendship or something more. I was enjoying everything about her. The new amazement of how much she had to say, the way she giggled, and the sound of her soft, sweet, and comforting voice. She was so considerate and caring too. The fantasy of holding her hand as we continued to walk the dogs filled my mind. The idea of her surprise when my hand wrapped around hers, how she would fumble with her hand to escape at first but them calm down and hold mine. It would be silent, but the comfortable kind shared between two who are close. I knew I was only dreaming though. I was sure I’d have to be her friend for quite some time before I was trusted well enough to take our relationship further, and I was barely even her friend. Even then, I wasn’t sure if that’s what I wanted to pursue. It was confusing, really.

To get my mind off such thoughts, I decided to speak with her again. “So, what are these guys’… er… and girls’ names, anyways? What’s their story?”

Our conversation was basic, but it passed the time nicely, and I was still enjoying the simple fact that sentences, paragraphs even, were coming out of her mouth. Her main focus was on the dog’s personality and quirks rather than their story like I had asked. I soon figured out why. She apologized and explained that she knew, but she couldn’t say due to the fact that many of the stories were emotional. She didn’t want to sob in front of me. I told her I understood completely, and she thanked me for that.

After returning to the shelter, we finished up by giving the cages a quick cleaning and sweeping the floors. We talked little then, but I would comment on our activities or mention casual subjects on occasion to keep the conversation up. Before I knew it, I was heading out the door, and Fluttershy was locking it.

The breeze had picked up slightly and the sun had sunk considerably in the ageing evening. We both shuddered at the sudden change in temperature. The air was growing cool and the soft, but even colder breeze brushed against our exposed arms. Neither of had thought to bring a jacket since the day was so warm. I could see the goosebumps on her arms without even looking for them. With her arms crossed and her body shaking, she looked so innocent and helpless. All I wanted to do was hold her as we began to walk back to our homes, but I knew she wouldn’t appreciate it. In her mind, the physical contact was surely too much for someone she still did not know that well.

“S-so, did you like it?” she asked after a moment of silence.

“No, no I didn’t,” I said jokingly, for a moment forgetting how sensitive the girl was. I looked over to her with a chuckle and noticed the hurt, almost fearful look on her face.

“Oh… um…I’m sorry for making you come then… I…”

“Fluttershy,” I said with a smirk, a bit amused by how much a simple comment could affect her, “I was kidding. I really did like it.”

“Oh… heheh,” she said with a nervous giggle, “I’m sorry. So, um, would you do it again?”

“Yeah, I mean, I mainly enjoyed it because I had someone to talk to, but I’d do it again. The animals were all pretty cute and fun too, but, you know…” I muttered excitedly, not thinking too much about what I was saying before letting it out.

“Because of me?” she asked curiously, giving me a rather stunned look.

“Yeah, it’s nice to actually hear what you have to say.”

“Mhm, yeah, I guess I’m getting comfortable with it a bit easier than I normally do.”

“Huh, that’s good though.”

“Oh, yes. So would you like to help me next week then?”

“Yeah, sure, as long as it’s not on the same day as my training with Rainbow Dash.”

“Oh, yes, she was telling me about that. She’s pretty determined to get you in shape. I hope you’re ready,” she said with a teasing giggle. “Even if you want to quit, I don’t think she’ll let you.”

“Well, damn,” I said with a laugh. “It’ll be good for me though.” My heart began to pound lightly as a new statement came to my mind, one which caused blood to rush to my cheeks. “Actually, you know what, uh, it doesn’t just have to be the animal shelter again. We can do something else a different day.” My eyes darted away from her. Even if I was only asking as a friend and only wanted to be asking as a friend for the time being, I couldn’t help but feel anxious. Perhaps this was due to her own nervous attitude towards such things.

“Oh… um… I,” she struggled to get out, taken aback by how suddenly I had changed the subject. “O-okay, maybe if I’m not busy we can.”

“Yeah, homework, sorta forgot about that.”

“Mhm.”

I didn’t know how to respond, but for some reason, I felt the need to. Still unsure of what to say, we both grew silent and returned to shuddering in the cool breeze. We passed by the occasional person either heading in the opposite direction or literally passing them because of our fast pace. For the most part, all I could hear was our quick steps on the pavement beneath, and the shuddering breaths of air being sucked in and let out of our mouths. I was fairly entertained when I realized how well our conversation had distracted us from the elements. I hadn’t felt cold at all then, but as soon as we stopped, the cold had returned just as quickly as it left.

“Um, anyw-” I turned to the sound of her soft voice which had halted. I realized why as a group of loud men split and passed around us, Fluttershy now behind me. After a few moments she caught back up to my side. “I should, um, probably be going the other way now, I need to get back home.”

“You didn’t miss your turn, did you?” I asked, my heart jumping slightly at the thought.

“Oh, no, I’ll be fine taking a little detour. I missed it on purpose anyways.”

“Okay,” I muttered, wondering if it was for me or because of some other circumstance. I didn’t ask though.

“Um, goodbye?” she said, looking down at her feet and brushing her hair behind her ear as she awaited my response.

“See you tomorrow at school… uh, I had fun and… yeah, let’s do something soon, okay?”

“Mhm,” she mumbled softly as she turned to cross the road, the sign across the way flashing the glowing figure of a person, encouraging her to move faster.

As I awaited my own light to turn, I realized the reason why talking with Fluttershy had felt so urgent to me. What I had heard, what I had felt when hearing it, to me at least, was rare. I had never before seen the real Fluttershy until that day. It felt as though it was so rare, that it could easily be lost. Even though I hadn’t worked hard for it, it was simply luck that she felt comfortable around me. I assured myself that this was but one reason I had to get closer to her, to spend more time with her. It was so I could keep that connection alive, strengthen it into a real friendship so she would no longer have to worry about being open with me. It would become normal, and that was what I wanted. I appreciated her sweet and caring personality, and wanted to experience more of it. I wanted to be her friend. Perhaps there was a chance for more. I already felt as though I had a better chance with her than Rainbow, but at the same time, it could have been even slimmer. I had to get to know her better before I could decide that though. I would have to if I wanted a chance.

The Ethics of Hard Work

The last couple of days that week, along with the beginning of the next seemed to drag by as sluggishly as possible, that is, besides one day spent at the animal shelter again and another taking a run with Rainbow. Other than that, I was completely and utterly bored. Not even my usual habits of surfing the web and gaming kept my distracted long enough to have fun. At least for once I was actually willing to do my homework. I managed to get every last paper and assignment in on time, some even early. That is why when offered, or rather asked to help out Applejack on her farm the weekend after, I gladly accepted. I soon questioned my motives, wondering why exactly I had agreed to the nightmare of hard labor which I was sure it would be.

Although it was fairly early in the morning when we arrived at the farm (it would have been earlier, but she took pity on me and my sleeping habits), the miasma of cow manure and plenty of other nausea inducing smells that I couldn’t exactly identify already lingered in the air. I heard that to some farm folk, probably Applejack herself even, the smell was pleasing and even comforting. I could hardly believe it to be true. I was disgusted, nearly to the point of turning around and heading back home. I was confused as well. From what I had heard, the Apple family farm consisted mainly of Apple orchards along with a few fields of other fruit and vegetables. I’m not sure if I’m correct, but aren’t farms the ones with fruit or vegetables and ranches the ones with animals? The place was named Sweet Apple Acres after all. It didn’t smell very sweet.

I was suddenly worried as a thought struck me. I wondered if I would have to deal with any animals. I enjoyed animals as I had told Fluttershy, but the thought of dealing with their waste was extremely off-putting. Luckily for me, Applejack didn’t have any farm work, or what I would consider farm work planned at all. Instead we were going to make repairs on the barn which had worn slightly over the winter. The barn, although a bit faded, was a stereotypical red with white lining and accents. Compared to the odd, murky slop beneath my feet, still much too saturated from melted snow and rain, its colors where quite cheerful and happy. Even the apple trees around us were still bare besides the buds on their branches. I’m sure they were beautiful when in bloom, but of course, I was too early to witness that.

Applejack’s brother, Big Mac as they called him, along with her younger sister, Apple Bloom had already set up the scaffolding needed to reach the higher parts of the barn walls. This all seemed to have been done under the careful, scrutinizing watch of their grandmother who still continued to complain and command them. I recognized her as well, she was a lunch lady at CHS.

“Alrighty, Granny Smith and Apple Bloom are gonna be repaintin’ while me and you do the repairs. Don’t worry too much,” she said, most likely noticing a bit of discontent in my expression, “they’re all pretty dang minor. Big Mac, he’s gonna do the heavy liftin, bringing us boards, nails, all that.” I froze, unsure of exactly how to respond or react. The sudden realization that I had never necessarily done any repairing in my life overshadowed all other thoughts. “So… sound like a plan there, sugarcube?” she asked slowly, resting her hands upon her hips and raising an eyebrow.

“Uh, well, yeah sure, whatever works,” I muttered out, realizing that I would have absolutely no clue what I was doing.

“Is there a problem or something? Spit it out, boy.”

“Well, no, not really, just, I… haven’t really ever done anything like this before.”

“No? Sombody’s been livin a sheltered life,” she responded with a laugh. “It’s okay, why don’t ya just follow my lead.”

“Yeah, sure,” I said with a sigh of relief. At least that would make the process go by a bit more easily.

“Anyways, come on, gotta make hay while the sun shines, and it’s a shinin!”

“Alright,” I responded in a somewhat more cheerful manner, energy rushing through my body in some form of excited preparation. Due to the precise build of the scaffolding, although getting somewhat old and splintered, I knew it was structurally sound. The ladders and platforms were sturdy, and I could tell the same process had been done safely many times before.

Reaching out from the protection of the trees as we climbed higher, a breeze could be felt. It was only slight due to the hills surrounding us in the distance, but it stirred the air enough to at least take away some of the stench below. It wasn’t much of improvement, but the air sure seemed much fresher to me. The scaffolding creaked and shuddered slightly as Big Mac climbed up after us, a stack of wooden planks in one arm and the other free to climb the ladders. He was certainly one big guy, not only in stature but structure and muscle mass as well. I’d certainly not want him mad at me for any reason. Although for the most part, he seemed like quite the gentle giant.

Once the boards were set down, Applejack pulled a hammer out from the tool belt she had strapped around her waist and awaited Big Mac to return with a bucket of nails along with a saw. She demonstrated a few times, showing me what to do, whether it be sawing a board into precise measurements or nailing it in parallel to the rest. Then I would try my hardest to repeat her steps and do the next bit myself. Even with such simple concepts, I had a hard time completing the steps correctly since I had never done them before. Eventually, Applejack resorted to using me as her personal assistant, more or less. I would move a board in the direction she told me to and hold it down while she sawed it. Then I would hold it in place along with a handful of nails as she went about securing it to the barn’s wall. Along with that, I was innately skilled at the destruction aspect of the repair. I did most of the removing of old boards and rusting nails.

Although I wasn’t working as hard as her, I could tell she at least appreciated the added pair of hands. Along with that, I was sure the task was going by quicker than it normally would with just her on the job. Even though for the most part, my exertion was fairly average, my body was becoming more and more overheated by the minute. My mouth was growing dry and arid, while my body was growing moist and suffocated with sweat.

“Whew-wee, it’s a pretty hot one today, huh?” Applejack commented with a sigh after nailing in another board. “How’re ya holdin’ up?” Before I was able to say a word, she looked up from her work. I’m sure my face was glowing red, and I know for a fact she could easily see the sweat dripping down it. “Alrighty, let’s take a break, just a quickie though.”

With heat radiating off of the side of the barn, we moved closer to the edge of the scaffolding where the breeze could reach us better. Either I had grown used to the smell below or it had lessened significantly since I last noticed it. I sucked in a breath of air as the breeze tickled my nostrils before turning my attention to Applejack. She rested her elbows upon the makeshift railing at the platform’s edge. With what seemed to be a very content sigh, she grabbed the top of her well-worn cowboy hat and pulled it away from her head. A darkened circle lay atop her blond hair where the hat had been, damp with sweat. She wiped the glistening perspiration from her brow and then pulled at her buttoned shirt for increased airflow. Although sweating, she barely even looked fatigued, her face wasn’t even the slightest bit flushed, and her emerald eyes seemed as energetic and concentrated as when we started. She turned to me with a look of concern on her face, startling me from my thoughts. I opened my mouth to ask what the concern entailed, but before I could she turned away.

“Hey, Apple Bloom!” she yelled looking down to the ground.

“What, sis?” I heard in response.

“Can ya go get a glass a lemonade and bring it up here for me?”

“Just one…?”

“Yup!”

“Uh, could I get one too?” I asked as she turned back.

“Oh, hah!” she chuckled. “It is for ya, sugarcube. It looks like ya need it.”

“Yeah, I do,” I said with relief.

“You deserve it, ah think.”

“Oh?”

“Yup, you’ve been working up a storm with me. You’re doin great.”

“I haven’t been working as much as you have?” I muttered out questioningly.

“Well, ah’m used to it. For somebody who doesn’t do this stuff on a near daily basis, ah think you’re doin just fine.” She smiled appreciatively and gave me a thankful nod before turning back to the breeze. It wasn’t long before Apple Bloom handed me a glass of iced lemonade, its surface sweating slightly in the heat.

“Thanks,” I said as she quickly climbed back down and returned to painting.

“So, whad’ya think so far?” Applejack asked softly.

“Oh, um, about?” I muttered, taken aback by the sudden question.

“About good ol’ honest work. Sounds like ya never done a day of it in your life.”

“Yeah, I guess your right… I don’t know, I guess it feels alright. It’s uh, exhausting but it’s nice to get things done.”

“Yup, seein’ the progress is always the best part, especially when ya get to the final product.”

“I bet, is that what keeps you going?”

“Sometimes, and cause I know I’m helping out my family. Anyways, talkin’ is good and all but how about you finish up that drink. We can talk more later.” I gazed down at my drink, the ice already melting. I shrugged and began gulping it down, the perfect combination of sweet and sour. I couldn’t help but admire the young woman standing beside me as I paused from drinking on occasion to catch my breath. It was as if it was déjà vu from my first day of soccer practice.

She seemed even more beautiful in her natural stride, just as Rainbow Dash had. In a way the two were quite similar, both strong, athletic and independent… well, Rainbow wasn’t all that independent. Although she acted the like, she survived off what all the other students thought of her. Applejack on the other hand, she was much less interested in the opinion of others and material concepts. Although she did get high headed on occasion, she was more down to earth than her friend. Instead of appreciating hard work for how it affected her body, or how fast and strong it made her, Applejack simply was proud of how honest the labor she did was. She cared little for her appearance and instead for her actions. She was friendly and kind for the most part, and always willing to help, no matter how bad the situation. It was certainly something to appreciate. Even though Applejack put on no make-up at all and her grooming consisted only of the basics such as brushing her hair, she was still beautiful in her own way. Her face glistened slightly with sweat, smoothing out both the contours and texture of her skin. Her freckles seemed to add even another dimension to the beauty, their natural tone emphasizing the pleasing shape of her cheek bones.

“Hey there, pal, enjoying yourself?” she asked with a laugh, turning her gaze to me. I turned my eyes down to my near finished lemonade, my face growing even redder than it already was. I was sure she was speaking of my staring. “Now ah know you’re tired and like lazin’ around and what not, but we gotta finish this up.” I sighed in relief, realizing she was only referring to how slowly I was finishing my drink.

“Yeah, sure,” I muttered before gulping down the last of the liquid and setting the glass aside. For the rest of our repair job, I was lost in my mind, simply following Applejacks orders subconsciously as I thought about her, her family, and the life they lived. I had never dreamed of living a life like theirs, or even thought about it for that matter. It seemed like something I wouldn’t enjoy or appreciate at all. In a way though, in those moments of thought, I imagined life being different. I imagined living like the Apple family did, perhaps even living with them. It sounded like a good idea at first, but I was sure I could never survive long with the lack of what I considered a normal life. The plus side was that their farm wasn’t too far out of town, so I would still have its commodities. For the most part though, I just had a craving to be around Applejack, admiring the way she worked and helping her out when I could.

I was beginning to notice a pattern, a pattern of my own stupidity. After spending personal time with the girls, I was slowly falling for each of them. I was unsure whether or not each of the girls were just that lovable, which could easily be the case, or that I was that desperate for finding a new relationship. If it was desperation, it was a dangerous road to go down. My attitude towards it was much too reckless, and I would certainly end up getting myself hurt, especially with girls like them. They were all out of my league, and I knew it.

I barely even realized the time, or the multiple changes in location before that, once we finished up the last of the repairs for the day. In a daze, I followed Applejack’s lead as I made my way back down to the ground below. Although still more or less a swap of thick mud, its surface had hardened slightly. With light swift steps, I could make my across it without causing any more harm to my already mud caked shoes. Applejack didn’t seem to mind, she was most likely used to it. She stomped away, splattering mud upon her boots and toned, bare legs.

“Well, ya did good today. We didn’t quite get everything finished, but ah figured it’d end up being a two day job.” I gulped, even though I would have loved to spend another day with Applejack, I wasn’t sure if I could handle any more physical exhaustion. My body already trembled and ached with strain and weakness. “Don’t worry, sugarcube, since it’ll only be a few more hours tomorrow, ah think we can handle it without ya.”

“Oh, alright.”

“Yup, that’s right, you shortened the whole job up quite a bit. Ah’ll end up havin’ some free time thanks to you.”

“Heh, no problem,” I muttered happily.

“Ah’ll make a farm boy outta you in no time.”

“I don’t know about that,” I said with a laugh. “Rainbow already seems to have plans for me, but I guess between the two of you, I’ll end up getting pretty fit, huh?”

“Hmpf, ah guess ya will. Ah think you’d make a better farmhand than a athlete though.”

“You think?”

“Yup,” she said with a nod, extending her hand. I nodded back and grasped it. Her hands were slightly calloused and rough from the physical labor she did on what she herself said was nearly a daily basis. Her grip was strong as well. My hand was clenched tightly in her own. I felt a bit trapped, as if she had done it on purpose. She let go and gave me a smile. “Ah guess ah’ll see ya in school next week… unless ya changed your mind on comin’ back tomorrow?”

I had to say no, I needed a break. I was already exhausted enough from my one day of training with Rainbow and then a day of labor. I was sure I wouldn’t even be able to get out of bed. Yet, I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, although something like that surely wasn’t going to affect a tough girl like her all that much. If it was Fluttershy on the other hand, things would be much different. “Well, I do have some homework to do. I really don’t want to get behind again.” I wasn’t lying either. It was true after all. Although, I wasn’t quite sure I literally needed a full day to finish it.

“No problem, see ya,” Applejack said, giving her hat a polite tilt in my direction. That was that. The only girl I hadn’t yet spent time with one on one was Rarity if I included my many evenings spent with Pinkie and Sunset. With a little encouragement on my end, mostly out of eagerness to complete the little series of outings, Rarity agreed to go on an adventure to the mall with me.

Receiving and Giving

About midway through the next week was when Rarity and I went on our outing to the mall. Her idea of fun seemed to be dragging me around from clothing shop to clothing shop to “fix that horrid style” of mine. In my defense, I used to be much better about the clothes I wore out in public and was fairly concerned with my physical appearance as well. Considering that I was becoming more active with Rainbow Dash and Applejack, all of that was slowly coming back to me, but most of it had been lost throughout my state of depression. Yes, I enjoyed looking good, but as for the idea of fashion, I would applaud her if she actually got me interested in it.

“Oh, come, dear, it’ll be a magnificent evening,” she explained, her hand clasped around my wrist as she pulled me into the mall. I was suddenly hesitant due to a thought which popped into my mind.

“What if… what if people think I’m your gay friend or something? Isn’t this the perfect stereotype?”

She paused for a moment and placed her free hand upon her chin as she pondered the thought. “I guess I never really thought of it like that until now. Certainly not only gay men go shopping with their female friends.”

“Uh, certainly they do… I mean, even if people aren’t actually dumb enough to believe something like that, they’ll still make fun of me, especially if we see someone from CHS or something.”

“You’re not going to let the opinion of others bother you, now, are you?”

“Heh, look who’s talking,” I grumbled, giving her a mischievous smirk.

“Oh… oh… I do not dress the way I do simply for the attention if that’s what you’re trying to get at! I, well, I-I do it for myself… of course, er, fine. If worse does come to, you can tell them that I am your girlfriend,” she muttered softly, her voice tapering off into a whisper as she spoke the final dreaded word. She cleared her throat and returned to her normal tone. “Simply because that will be the easiest way to discern between any thoughts about you being homosexual and the reality of the matter.”

“Heh, um, yeah, alright, sounds like a plan to me,” I muttered, scratching the back of my neck nervously and attempting not to blush at the idea.

“Remember, I’m only doing this for your own well-being. Don’t think for a moment to take advantage of it, and yes, it is only make-believe.” Although the idea had made me even more anxious and uncomfortable than I already was at first, it did end up calming me after the initial shock. I felt composed enough to stroll through the mall with Rarity, but the thought of her picking out close for me was still quite concerning.

Nearly as immediately as we walked into the mall, it’s cool but stuffy air poured into my lungs. Throngs of people ranging from many ages filled my vision along with the many different texts and backgrounds of the shop names along the edges. Then, of course, there was the incessant rumble of voices, laughter, and feet pattering against the tiled floor. I could barely even set my attention upon the mall’s rather dull architecture and interior, mainly consisting of whitish, almost faded hues. It seemed as though, excluding the stores themselves, the place was in need of a remodel. Yet, recalling my struggle to pay attention to this aspect rather than the hordes of shoppers, it’s understandable as to why they hadn’t. Did anyone really care about it besides the fact that it kept them cool or warm and provided the many shops they wanted to visit?

I felt slightly overwhelmed by the abundance of noise and people, leading to a sense of exhaustion and impatience even though we had yet to do anything. I had never appreciated malls, that being one of the reasons. I let out a long, drawn out yawn, stammering slightly from its surprising power.

“Now, dear, don’t tell me you’re not up for this now,” Rarity whined with concern as she paused a moment so I could catch up to her.

For a short moment, I pondered saying that I wasn’t, but, of course, I had been the one pushing for it… although clothes shopping wasn’t necessarily what I had expected. I should have since it was Rarity. “Yeah, I am, I just had a long day at school. I’ll be good though.” In reality, my day at school was fairly normal, maybe slightly busy, but nothing I wasn’t used to. I figure it was the anxiety and stress that got to me so quickly.

“Ah, well, in that case, how about after visiting a few shops we head to the cafeteria to get some coffee to liven us up a bit for more shopping?”

Coffee did sound like a great idea. I could always go for a cup of that wonderful liquid, especially in the state I was in. “Alright, sounds good,” I said with a nod and smiled.

“Then let’s get shopping. The longer we wait around, the longer it is until you get that coffee, you know?”

Although not pulled this time at least, she did usher me along hurriedly to the nearest store she had approved for me. I had no time to read the sign above its entrance. Though I could immediately guess what kind of store it was by the first few glances at the clothes it held. All of the clothes and accessories were incredibly modern and trendy, almost beyond trendy and on the verge of hipster. It was a store for teens my age and slightly below. I could feel the aura of douchey-ness oppressing my very being. Of course she would want to bring me to a place like that. At least, I thought to myself, at least she didn’t bring me to Hot Trot, the birthplace of all completely fake goth, emo, and punk kids along with those scene kids. They were almost as bad, if not worse than the jocks, hipsters and other popular students at CHS. Although Hot Trot had changed quite a bit since I first encountered it. I could always quench my nerdy desires there by purchasing an accessory or item related to one of my favorite shows or games. I guess I really have no room to shame it too much.

“So, uh, what exactly are we looking for?” I asked curiously, not exactly sure where to begin with all the almost foreign looking apparel around me.

“I figure this is the perfect place for buying you some everyday outfits. You do need an upgrade after all.”

“So pants, shorts, t-shirts…?” I asked, my eyes scanning the room for jeans or cargo shorts.

“Oh, darling, everyday outfits don’t consist only of simple t-shirts and jeans. How about instead, we start with some nicer collared shirts, some chinos perhaps, maybe even a pair of dyed slim fitting jeans, a new pair of shoes… I’m sure the one’s your wearing now even feel dreadful… and maybe some t-shirts… as long as they are fashionable enough. Oh, and we need accessories!”

“Please… whatever you do, don’t make me buy a scarf and fake glasses,” I groaned, smacking a hand against my face.

“Of course not!” Rarity gasped in response, offended by my statement. “That style went out a few years ago.”

“So, you’ve evolved beyond hipster even?” I teased.

“Oh, puh-lees, darling. I’m a fashionista, not a hipster.”

“Whatever you say, Rarity,” I said with a smirk, chuckling to myself.

“Anyways, enough of this. Let’s get you in some new clothes!” she cooed in excitement, once again pulling me along. First I was pulled to a section of khaki colored pants, a khaki rainbow so to speak considering that there was every shade of khaki that ever existed there. At first I was drawn to the darker brown and green shades. I looked back at Rarity, hoping for praise or encouragement considering the fact that I was actually getting somewhere with what she wanted of me. Instead, she shook her head with disapproval, a slight pout upon her face.

“No?” I asked in confusion.

“No,” she said with a shake of her head, “an incompetent employee must have forgotten to switch these out for the spring and summer. You need to be wearing brighter colors for this time of year.

“Oh, um… so tan and stuff? I don’t really think I-”

“Yes,” she interrupted quickly, pulling me back to the lighter side of the shelves of khaki, “tan, light brown, perhaps a lighter green if you’d like.”

“Alright… wait, these look a little small,” I muttered, pulling a pair of light brown and light green pants from the shelves and putting them in front of my legs. “The length is fine… but…”

“They’re meant to be fitted.”

“Oh, so they’re like skinny jeans?”

“No, chinos.”

“Alright, alright,” I muttered, not necessarily wanting to be roped into buying such tight pants.

“Check their sizes. If it’s your size, they’ll be perfect. Go change into a pair and show me before taking them back off.” Our little shopping venture reminded me of my younger years when my mother would buy my clothes. Just like Rarity, she would pick everything out, make me put whatever clothing article it was on and tell me whether or not she liked it. The only difference was the fact that I wasn’t getting all of my new clothes for free this time.

“Maybe I should just get one pair of these… I don’t want to spend so many bits.”

“Oh, we can worry about that later,” Rarity said with a shrug. “For now let’s focus on making you look good.”

“Um… I don’t know.”

“Yes, that’s what we’re doing. Keep both for now,” she said sternly, wagging her finger in my direction. Darting into the nearest opened changing room, I went about changing into the new pants. I soon realized how oddly snug and tight they really were once I pulled them up to my waist. It certainly wasn’t a struggle like some people portrayed it to be, but they were certainly much tighter than I was used to. I figured I didn’t even need a belt to hold the things up, and they clung to my legs rather uncomfortably.

I stepped out of the room awkwardly, feeling the pants clench slightly around my crotch as I attempted to step. I was sure Rarity could see the uncomfortable look upon my face when she raised an eyebrow at me and smirked. “They look great on you, dear. They show off your legs and hips very well.”

“I don’t know… they don’t feel right, and well, yeah…” I muttered, resisting the urge to pull the material away from my crotch.

“They’re not that tight, really, well, at least not as tight as you think they are. You’ll get used to them after wearing them once or twice. I promise,” she said with a nod and smiled.

“Uh… do they really look good on me though?”

“Of course.”

“Alright… if you say so. I’ll trust your judgement.” Did I really trust her judgement though? Some of the things she wore and made were certainly… modern. The pants weren’t so bad though, nothing too flashy or out of the ordinary. After that, she picked out two button down shirts for me, one with a tribal-esque or perhaps even southwestern looking pattern on it along with a white shirt with small black polka dots. Then she picked out a nice striped cotton t-shirt, a pair of brightly colored slip on shoes, and one pair of fitted shorts that seemed a little too short. I grumbled at the growing pile of clothes in my outstretched arms. It wasn’t necessarily big, but I knew that even just that amount of attire was going to cost me. Clothes were expensive, too expensive.

I walked up to the cashier and gulped nervously as I watched the total rise with the annoying beep of each barcode being scanned. I waited impatiently between those beeps as the clerk removed the security devices from the more expensive button down shirts and folded them neatly before they were pushed into a bag. Finally, she spoke the total aloud, slightly over 100 bits. I felt as if I was going to faint. I could feel the air coursing into my lungs as I sucked in a deep breath and then expelled in shaking horror. This was only the first stop, and I was already about to spend more than I ever wanted to. I watched in astonishment as what first seemed to be Rarity extending her hand in my direction. I quickly discovered that it was instead moving towards the clerk, a piece of gold colored plastic between her fingers. “I’ll be paying today,” she said in a confident tone.

“I… uh, um, what?” I muttered beneath my breath, my eyes still wide and my mouth hanging open. The two seemed to be paying little attention to me as they mingled with delightfully fake small talk. The clerk’s eyes moved to me. She certainly seemed to be wearing her part, her entire outfit looking like what was displayed on the mannequins set up around the store.

“Yeah, your boyfriend’ll definitely look way better in this stuff than he does right now.”

She was quite blunt about her insult, but I was much too embarrassed to care. “Uh, heheh, yeah… such a great girlfriend buying me clothes and all…” I muttered, my eyes darting to the nearest section of clothes as my cheeks lit up. Along with that, I was completely dumbfounded. Why would Rarity ever buy clothes for me? Was I really that desperately in need of new clothes? It certainly wasn’t just a simple act of kindness, or at least 100 bits didn’t seem simple. Maybe her parents were just that rich? She did seem like the type that came from money after all.

“Th-thanks… so much,” I managed to get out as we left the store, the new plastic bag in my hand. “I just, wow, are you sure you don’t want me to give you half back or something?”

“No, darling, not at all. It’s perfectly fine. Consider it a gift.”

“That’s a really expensive gift though. I have to do something to pay you back at least.”

“Well, I’m sure you’ll think of something eventually. No need to worry about it now. Let’s worry about that coffee instead, shall we?”

“Uh, yeah, sure,” I said rather giddily. My evening was turning out much better than expected, and I’ll admit that I was in a fairly ecstatic mood by that point.

After waiting in a small line of those ready to receive their evening fix of caffeine, we approached the small Ponybucks insert, and I gazed up at the wall of pricey espresso based beverages. It seemed as though the label was the most expensive part considering that I knew for a fact that none of the drinks cost as much as they did. All in all, the money would have went to buying clothes anyways, and coffee, even of the Ponybucks variety, was much cheaper than that. I figured I would pay for Rarity’s coffee as well considering what she had just done for me. We both decided on frappes, in part to celebrate the warming weather outside.

“Separate or together?” the college-aged barista said as she pushed up her thick rimmed glasses and gazed down at the cash register.

“Together,” I said with a nod, pulling a small pile of bits out of my pocket.

“That’ll be eight bits,” she said in a dull tone. By the exhausted look in her eyes, it seemed as though she was struggling to reach the end of her shift. I couldn’t believe two frappes were going to cost me eight bits, but it was mainly a thanks for Rarity anyways. I reluctantly placed them into her outstretched palm. “Alright, those’ll be out in a sec.”

“Well, you certainly didn’t have to do that, dear,” Rarity said sweetly as I stepped aside with her to wait. “That was very kind.”

“Hey, it’s the least I can do after you bought me all these clothes,” I said, lifting the bag slightly.

“Well, thank you anyways,” she said over the sound of our drinks being blended, giving me a smile. After receiving them, we found a small table out in the cafeteria. It was somewhat off to the side but facing the flow of shoppers so we could watch them go about their leisure. I looked down at the mound of whipped cream drizzled with syrup atop my drink before taking a sip of the pleasingly sweet but bold treat. For a moment, the two of us were silent as we sipped away at our drinks, watching the flow of shoppers move from store to store. Due to the fact that I had never gotten an answer, the question of why she bought the clothes for me once again came to mind. I had to ask.

“So, Rarity,” I said. Her sapphire blue eyes turned to me, and her perfectly done hair swayed stiffly from the movement.

“Yes?”

“Why exactly did you buy these for me? I, mean, it’s really great and all, thanks again… but why?” I asked, fumbling over my own words.

“Because giving is truly a wonderful thing, even better than receiving if you ask me. By giving you could completely change the course of someone’s day. You could pull them out of a rut. You could make their good day even better. No matter the case, it is always absolutely precious to see the reaction you receive when performing such generous acts… and you know what? Giving is only the beginning of the cycle. If you give, you get. Then you give again, and you get again. If you help someone, they will help you, perhaps when you most need it. It all works out perfectly. Of course on occasion, my generous nature does get abused, but I refuse to let people like that get in the way of things. I will keep being me.”

My jaw was agape by the time Rarity had finished her speech. I struggled to shorten the many things I suddenly wanted to say to her into a single statement or two. It was incredible, really. I had seen Rarity’s generous attitude in action before on occasion, but never enough to give it the thought it deserved. At first glance and sometimes even in her speech and personality, Rarity seemed much more inclined to be the type of girl that cared for herself and only herself. To witness the true Rarity and her thoughts about how she lived life was astonishing. Yes, she did care about herself, but that obsession seemed more than healthy when set beside her strong desire to be so giving to those around her, including those she barely knew. After spending an evening at the mall with her, even about an hour or so in, I already appreciated her much more than I had before. I had wanted the trip to end swiftly at first, but after our little discussion, I didn’t want it to end at all. Oh, and yes, it turned out that shopping for clothes was literally exactly like it used to be when I was young, besides the fact that Rarity certainly wasn’t my mother.

***

Near the end of our shopping escapade, the two of us ended up in a store of higher quality apparel. I wouldn’t necessarily call it high class, but certainly much more expensive than where we had been shopping. I was getting uncomfortable with the idea of Rarity spending even more of her money on me. Along with that, I already had enough clothes from the other stores we had visited. I told her the latter half, but she wanted us to still look around just in case something caught my eye. Something certainly did catch my eye, and it wasn’t clothes. It was her.

I was never that interested in superficial girls, besides their outward appearance, and Rarity was not at all superficial like I had first assumed. Considering the fact that she looked the part, Rarity really was a rarity. She was beautiful and a truly good person. A relationship with her certainly seemed as though it would be a stereotypical one at first glance. I would have to buy her plenty of presents, take her out to expensive restaurants, and treat her as much as I could. Yet, the difference would be that she would do exactly the same for me in return. It would sort of be symbiotic in a way. We would both be spending money on each other, but in reality it would almost be like we were spending it on ourselves. A problem would certainly arise if we were ever to get married though. We would end up spending our shared money on one another rather than separately… but thinking about marriage was quite extreme for only spending one evening with a girl I still didn’t know all that well.

I was shaken from these thoughts when I heard a gasp escape Rarity’s mouth as we passed by the jewelry case next to the cashier. Rarity certainly did love her jewelry, enough to come to a halt so quickly that I nearly crashed into her.

“Oh… it’s magnificent,” she cooed placing her hands on the sparkling glass casing and leaning down for a better look. “Hehehe!” she then giggled in delight. What had caught her eyes was a pair of sapphire earrings at a price of seventy five bits. Of course she would want them. They matched the rest of her diamond-esque apparel along with her eyes almost perfectly. “Ohhh,” she whimpered softly, pouting as she continued to stare. She then pulled her phone from her pocket and began typing something into her browser. After another session of typing she whined again. “I figured as much. I don’t have enough left on my credit ca-har-hard! Hmpf!” She turned away from the case, her fists clenched and her body stiff.

“Uh… hey, it’s okay. Calm down, I’m sure you can get it another time.”

“But what if they’re all gone? It’s not like jewelry like this lasts forever!”

“I’m sure it’ll be here for the next couple of weeks,” I said as comfortingly as I could.

“I can’t take the chance. Either I must buy the earrings now, or I never, ever get to possess such beautiful pieces of art. They are perfect for me, don’t you think?” Her acting was quite overdramatic, but I knew there was some truth behind it. She really did want the earrings. I suddenly felt the weight of the bits in my pocket. Seventy five bits was still less than what she had paid for my new clothes. This seemed to be the perfect time to return the favor.

“How badly do you want those earrings, Rarity?” I questioned, causing her to look up at me from her thoughts.

“Oh, so badly, dear. So badly!”

“Then why don’t you ask to have them taken out of the case?”

“Weren’t you listening? I don’t have the bits!” she paused for a moment and tapped a finger upon her soft lips before gasping. “Unless you mean… you don’t mean…. Do you?”

“I do,” I said proudly, giving her a smug grin. She giggled with joy and wrapped her arms around me in an embrace. I placed my arms around her small frame and held her close as she squeezed my waist.

“What a sweetheart,” she cooed as she pulled away.

“Someone certainly knows how to treat her lady right,” said the clerk behind the counter, dressed in a vest and a well-ironed shirt.

“Uh, um, yeah, I guess I do,” I muttered, slightly taken aback by the statement. Rarity was suddenly hanging onto my side. I’ll admit I was a bit infatuated at that point. It was incredibly nice to have such a beautiful girl hanging onto me. Yet, at the same time, I was already questioning the relationship we would have with one another. The two of us together, it seemed unbelievable, just like what I had with Sunset. It would never work, even if we did somehow manage to get close enough. That didn’t mean I wasn’t going to be her friend though. Perhaps, being optimistic, it somehow could work, but for the time being, I would have to focus on friendship.

Rarity jumped, or better compared to a couple of half-hearted hops as to not ruin her glamorous appearance for the clerk, once I had purchased the earrings. So ecstatic, she even used the shops mirror to take out her previous pair and replace them with the new. “They look lovely,” she said, admiring them and herself in the mirror. Along with that, she took the chance to gussy herself up a bit. “This is the perfect end to our evening.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” I said with a laugh, feeling the corners of my mouth turning up into a smile. “We should really spend some more time together.”

“Oh, yes, I’d love to. It’s nice to have a guy to enjoy all of my rather, well, feminine pass times with.”

“H-hey,” I muttered in embarrassment.

“Oh, please, I was only kidding.”

“Yeah, I know, I know.

“Only under one condition though.”

“Uh, what?”

“You have to be wearing the clothes I’ve bought for you. I simply can’t be seen with someone dressed as unfashionably as you are right now any longer.”

“H-” I paused immediately as she winked.

“Teasing again… well, mostly.” Whether or not she was teasing, I would wear those clothes. Not only was I thankful to have them, but they actually represented something, a friendship between me and Rarity.

Receding

Ever since our two times spent together volunteering at the animal shelter, I had wanted to spend more time with Fluttershy. Maybe it was her gentle nature or even just the surprise of getting to know the real her, but I felt as though my time with her had been the most enjoyable out of all of the other girls. I got that chance around a week or so after my outing with Rarity. That weekend, Fluttershy was planning on going for a hike outside of town. It was going to be her first of the season, and she seemed rather excited. None of the other girls were interested in going along or were busy with other premade plans. Not having any plans myself besides doing homework, I volunteered. She was more than happy to accept my offer, especially since I had never really had a chance to see the nature around the area.

We woke up early to catch a bus that made a stop at the beginning of one of her favorite hiking trails. Sitting at the bus stop and then together on the bus, I couldn’t help but be amused and also intrigued by the outfit she wore. She certainly had gathered quite a lot of professional gear over the years. With a khaki shirt, khaki shorts, hiking boots, long, thick socks, and even a pith helmet to top it all off, Fluttershy looked like she was ready to trek through an unmapped rainforest to discover an entirely new species of animal. On occasion, her get up nearly caused me to lose myself in laughter, but at the same time, I found it absolutely adorable. Everything that she wore seemed so surreal that I felt like it was some sort of costume for a party.

It was yet again feeling like it was going to be another hot day. Once we reached the protection of the forest’s canopy though, the shadowed air, not yet touched by the morning sun, was still cool and filled with moisture. I certainly didn’t have the equipment for hiking as Fluttershy did. I simply wore a worn pair of shorts, a t-shirt, and my old sneakers. I definitely didn’t want to ruin any of the new clothes Rarity had bought for me with mud, snagging on branches… and whatever else could happen in the forest. At first I regretted not wearing a pair of jeans instead, but I knew that even beneath the trees, it would get hot.

“Um… if you don’t mind, could you please carry one of the backpacks for me? I thought I could fit everything in one, I really did.”

“Oh, yeah, sure, that’s fine,” I said with a smile, enjoying her politeness concerning the matter a little more than I should have. “Is one heavier than the other? I’ll take that one.”

“A-are you sure? I mean, I could give you the lighter one if you wanted to. It doesn’t look like you were planning on carrying anything and I don’t wa-”

“Fluttershy, it’s fine, really,” I interrupted with a chuckle. “I can handle it. Besides, I’m sure Dash would appreciate the extra exercise you’d be giving me.”

“Um, alright, only if you’re sure,” she muttered, handing over the backpack. “Thanks for doing this. I really don’t think I could’ve carried both of these for the whole hike.”

“No problem, anyways, let’s get moving, huh?”

“Yes, we need to get to the little waterfall before lunchtime. It’s so beautiful. I think you’ll really like it,” she said in a chipper tone as we walked from the gravel parking lot and onto the well-trodden dirt path of the hiking trail. Fluttershy immediately grew silent as she passed over from the cement to the trail. I concluded that it was both her appreciation for nature and what she had asked me that caused this. I was sure asking for my help was fairly straining for a girl like herself. I wanted to talk to her, make her open back up again, but I decided on giving her a bit of a break first. I didn’t want to push things.

It had already grown past the time of the morning when birds were actively chirping and flying about from tree to tree. So besides the occasional song or rustle of an unseen animal in the thickening underbrush on either side of the trail, it was almost completely silent. The crunching of Fluttershy’s boots and my sneakers against the rocky dirt was the loudest sound I heard. That and there was the occasional annoyance of an insect buzzing around my ear.

The bright and still rather young leaves of the trees surrounding and the spring flowers which dotted the underbrush around us were a sight to behold. Even though that was the case, it was basically the only scenery to appreciate, at least for the time being. It was growing repetitive quickly. I gazed back and forth, seeing nothing that I had not at the beginning of our trek. I pulled out my phone, my mind faking a vibration so I would have something else to do. I quickly discovered I had no signal. It made sense, but I was still disappointed. I had to talk, I couldn’t wait any longer.

“So, what all do you have in these bags anyways?”

“Shh!” Fluttershy commanded in the sternest voice I had ever heard come out of her mouth. I was shocked at first, and then offended. I was only trying to make small talk. Any anger that I had quickly disappeared when she pointed out into the thick of the trees. At first, I saw nothing, but then there was a slight movement. I could feel myself beginning to smile as I saw a doe, patches of her fur still long and clumped from winter. I clump of grass lay in her mouth as she chewed. My smile grew even wider as I noticed more movement below her. There were two fawns, ducking down out of cover. “It’s okay, little ones, and mommy too. My friend and I aren’t here to hurt you. See?” she said as she pulled off her backpack and unzipped it as quietly as she could manage.

My question was partially answered as she pulled out a handful of dried corn and placed it near the path’s edge. “This is for you,” she said softly and then turned to me with a peaceful smile. “Don’t make any quick movements and be as quiet as you can. We can talk once we get farther past them.”

I nodded my head and followed her lead. After we passed she placed her hand upon my arm and nodded in the opposite direction. I turned around to see that the deer had all walked up to the edge of the path and were nibbling at the corn. “Wow,” I muttered softly. “I knew you were good with animals, but wow. I figured they would’ve just ran away or something.”

“Oh, it’s nothing really. Even you could do it if you knew how to act around them. You just have to be gentle and sweet.”

“And that comes naturally to you, huh?” I asked with a smirk.

Fluttershy giggled softly and nervously. “I guess you’re right.” As the deer trod softly back into the forest, I turned to her, her yellow cheeks hued with pink. She was one incredibly adorable girl.

“So, uh, besides food for the wildlife, what else is in the packs?” I asked as we turned and began walking again.”

“Well, there’s a picnic lunch for the two of us, lots of water to keep us hydrated, a first aid kit just in case of emergencies, and that’s about it.” I nodded my head as she looked up at me.

“Hopefully we’ll see some more critters,” she said excitedly. “They’re normally more active in the spring.” We did indeed see more wildlife on our little adventure to the waterfall, but life that was much smaller than that of the deer. To name a few, there were squirrels, birds of all sorts, even a hawk, a small family of raccoons, and a skunk which I was quite afraid of. Fluttershy’s kind nature insured us of not getting sprayed of course though.

We found ourselves near a creek, and the path turned to go alongside it. It gradually brought us higher up in elevation. Beyond the babbling of the stream, although faint at first, I could hear the rushing of water. The farther we hiked, the louder the sound grew. The air began to feel cool and humid again as well. Finally, I could see it. Although certainly not the biggest waterfall I had ever witnessed, it was still beautiful. For its small size, I would have to say that it did a great job of capturing what most always think should be in a nature scene. Sedges and rushes grew tall near the stream’s saturated banks. Moss grew heavily upon the rocky sides of the fall. I cluster of bright green semi-aquatic plants brightened the incredibly clear water.

“I… can see exactly why you wanted to come here,” I muttered in a state of awe.

“Mhm, it’s one of my favorite spots,” Fluttershy said proudly. “Anyways, are you hungry? We should probably start setting up our picnic… if you want to.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry,” I said, struggling to look away from the peaceful sight before us. I pulled the backpack off of my shoulders as I followed Fluttershy to the location she had chosen. On a small incline which curved off into a flat top, I helped her lay out the blanket. From this location, we had not only a good view of the waterfall, but of the whole stream as well. “What kind of sandwiches are those?” I asked as she pulled two out from the basket.

“Cucumber, my favorite,” Fluttershy said with a hum.

“C-cucumber sandwiches?” I muttered. Was that really a thing, or something she made up? It sounded like something only a talking horse would enjoy. Oh, right, I guess in a way she sort of was a talking horse when she did that odd magical transformation thing.

“Oh, yes, I’m sure you’ll enjoy it. I know it sounds a bit odd, but trust me.”

“Alright,” I said with a shrug, looking down at the circles of cucumber in between two slices of white bread. “Is this butter?” I asked, looking at the spread.

“Yes,” Fluttershy said with a nod.

“Interesting…. so no meat though?” I asked, feeling as though even a strange meal like that would be better with a slab of meat on it.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I guess I should have gotten some meat for you. I don’t eat meat, and I just made them like I always do. I should’ve taken you into consideration though.”

“No, it’s fine,” I said quickly. “I guess if this is how they’re supposed to be made, meat would probably ruin it. So you’re a vegetarian then?” Fluttershy nodded her head softly. I should have guessed. Her love of animals and connection with them would probably make her feel incredibly guilty if she ate meat. I had never paid much attention to what she ate at school. As I went for a bite of my sandwich, she pulled out a bag of potato chips. At least there was something normal in my meal. Considering the potato chips and her personality, she definitely didn’t seem like a health nut. She was only eating the way she did for moral reasons.

Immediately after I took a bite of the sandwich, I could feel my face forming into a grimace. I struggled to hold it back. The cool and almost fruity taste of the cucumbers along with their crunchy texture seemed much too odd to be on a sandwich, especially paired with butter. I chewed as fast as I could so I would then be able to swallow it down without the taste lingering for too long. I now understood exactly why she had decided to pair them with the potato chips. After the cool bite of sandwich, I immediately craved their saltiness. I shoved a handful into my mouth and savored their flavor happily. I wanted to eat only the chips, but I knew I had to finish the sandwich. I would not only disappoint Fluttershy, but our journey was also already getting to me. I craved sustenance, even if it came from the odd tasting sandwich.

“Oh, I also brought some cheese cubes, if you’d like some,” Fluttershy said as she nodded to the basket. “They shouldn’t have melted too much”

Even though she didn’t show it, I felt as though she understood my struggle with the sandwich, or perhaps she was simply taking pity on an omnivore like myself. I did need a bit more protein than what chips and cucumbers would provide for me. After my meal grew a bit more pleasant with the added cheese, we both seemed to quiet down. It was nice to enjoy the wonderful scenery in silence, along with each other’s company. The sound of the water crashing down into the rock bed of the stream did wonders to relax me even further than I already was. I gentle breeze swayed in the tops of the trees, creating slow moving shadows on and around us. I had not a worry in the world in those moments, and I felt as though I could be as carefree as I ever wanted. I was perhaps even so carefree that it could be a bad thing.

On occasion, I would turn my attention away from the scenery to an equally if not more beautiful sight. Fluttershy’s pale yellow face glowed from the patches of sunlight piercing through the trees above. Her hat shaded her eyes, and the bangs of her pink hair hid them like a magnificent treasure waiting to be found. The features of her face were smooth and near perfect. Even with her shy nature, it was a wonder she didn’t have many guys chasing after her. My heart jumped as her eyes flicked towards me and then back away, only to return again a few seconds later. A soft smile could be seen on her even softer lips. Was she admiring me as well? My stomach danced at the thought. I could see goosebumps covering the slender surface of her exposed arms and legs. I wasn’t quite sure if it was the breeze licking at her skin, or the side effect of nervous energy from the experience we were having together.

“Are you cold?” I asked, an idea coming to mind.

“Yes,” she said softly, rubbing her arms with her hands. Not knowing exactly how to get my point across through words, I simply scooted a bit closer to her and wrapped my arm around her shoulders.

“Th-thank you,” she muttered, her face growing red. “I’m really not that cold though. I’ll be okay.”

“Are you sure?” I asked softly, leaning my body into her own.

“I… I don’t know… maybe, I guess, well, okay, for now,” she sputtered out in embarrassment, covering her face with her hands. I could feel the quick pulse of her heart where her body touched my own. She hesitantly pulled her shaking hands away from her face but paused halfway through the motions, her eyes darting towards me once more. Wanting to comfort the poor girl while also showing her my intention, I gently grabbed one of her hands in my own and lowered it back down to her side. She looked at my curiously as I continued to hold it. The trembling seemed to be growing stronger, and her eyes growing wider. “S-s-s-stop… p-please… I… I c-can’t… no…. I-I’m …sorry…” she muttered out. Instantly becoming empathetic to her fright, I released my grasp and even scooted away from her so that I no longer held her.

“I… I,” I muttered out just as nervously and confusedly as she had been speaking. Suddenly that carefree attitude I had gathered was shattered with worry and confusion. Perhaps I had read her signals completely wrong. Perhaps she was interested, but I was pushing things to far too quickly. Perhaps she already had someone… it couldn’t be though. “Fluttershy…?” I muttered out questioningly.

“I… I… I… I thought you were just, well, being friendly at first and considerate, but, um, the way you were acting… were you trying to… well… I think I know what you were doing, but I don’t understand that sort of thing at all.” I knew exactly what she meant even though she had avoided saying it aloud.

“Yes, I… Fluttershy, I think I’m interested in you as more than a friend. I know we’ve only spent a little time together but… I’m sorry if I’m going too fast. We can slow this down.”

“Oh… my,” Fluttershy gasped beneath her breath, her face growing even more red than it had been. “I… I’m so sorry. I never meant to… I… I don’t feel that way about you at all. I just… did I make you think that? I… um… sorry.” I opened my mouth to speak, but I could feel a growing pain in my chest and in my eyes.

“….Well… fuck,” I managed to mutter beneath my breath. I had certainly become too carefree and too caught up in the beauty of the moment. I had somehow convinced myself that she was interested in me as well. When in reality, it was simply my imagination toying with my dreams. I watched in a daze as Fluttershy began to quickly pack up all of the leftover food items from our picnic back into the basket. Not sure how to react or what else to say, I simply helped her with the blanket. Her eyes still wide, and a fearful expression upon her lips, she didn’t even mutter a thank you before shoving the repacked basket into the backpack I had been wearing. With both one pack on her back and the other in her arms, she began to tread off quickly in the direction we had come. I followed close behind in desperation. I wanted urgently to say or do something that would make up for the mistake I had made. I wanted things to go back to the way they had been moments before that idiotic idea of mine popped into my head. I knew that even if I tried to speak to her, she wouldn’t. The shell I had broken to reveal the true her seemed to be sealing once more. The wonderful girl I was slowly and surely getting to know would be lost behind it. Even if I couldn’t be as close to her as I wanted, I still wanted her as a friend because I already knew she was an amazing one.

***

Although downhill, the trek back to the parking lot was even more exhausting than our hike up. This was due to the fact that Fluttershy kept her fast, almost frantic pace that she had started off with the whole time. I almost blindly followed along, lost in my thoughts. My legs ached as we reached the surface of the pavement, seemingly much smoother than it had been when I first set foot upon it. We caught the soonest bus, one scheduled to leave much earlier than we had originally planned to.

Not wanting to push Fluttershy any further than I already had, I let her sit alone while taking the seat across the aisle from her. I let my eyes fall shut and listened to the loud hum of the bus’ engine all the way back into to town. I contemplated my actions and what they had caused. We exchanged a quick goodbye before parting ways once we arrived. I felt guilty not helping Fluttershy carry the second backpack to her home but knew she did not want the company. She said she would see me at school as she turned to leave, giving me some hope that our friendship had not been fully broken.

It wasn’t quite the same after that day though. She seemed more distant yet again. She was not as distant as she originally had been when I was still with Sunset though, and we would still have some interactions and conversations on occasion. I wasn’t going to give up that quickly. I wanted to though, feeling as though any relationship I had ended up eventually going downhill, sometimes sooner rather than later. Yet, at the same time, I knew we could develop such a strong friendship that I wasn’t going to let it slip through my fingers after one mistake. Slowly but surely, I would bring our blossoming friendship back to where it had been. Then I would apologize to her for my actions. Until that time though, I had plenty of other friendships to keep me occupied.

As the Sun Sets

With so much time being spent with friends, the weeks seemed to be passing by at an almost frightening rate. Though when I look back at how much fun those weeks were, the passing of the time was simply an almost unnoticeable side effect. I had barely even remembered it was my birthday until the week of. Even Pinkie, either somehow remembering the date from a time I had mentioned it, or having saved it in her phone, seemed to know it was my birthday before I did. I honestly didn’t even remember ever telling her. I was completely shocked when she told me to show up to her house that Friday for the party she was throwing for me. She explained that she knew Friday would be a bit late, but that she didn’t want to have it during the week because of school. It seemed reasonable enough, and I had no plans for that day anyways, so I gladly agreed. I was rather excited to have someone host a party for me rather than my parents or myself for a change.

Friday seemed to come about just as quickly as every other day had. It was amazing to think that only a few weeks were left in the school year before summer. Before I had made my apologies to Sunset and the others, I felt like it’d still be an eternity before that break came. Now it almost felt as though it was coming too fast. I wanted to be able to see my friends every day like I had been. For the time being though, I didn’t want to worry about that. I had a night of fun ahead of me and that was all that mattered.

I dropped down my bag as I got home and immediately began getting ready for the party which would begin a couple of hours later. Although I definitely didn’t need that much time to prepare myself, I knew I’d be too excited to do anything else. I wanted to dress somewhat nice as well. Though knowing Pinkie, the dress code would be as casual as possible. Still, I had the clothes to wear. So I figured there was no reason not to. Along with that, Rarity would appreciate me wearing the clothes she had purchased for me, and I, for whatever reason, actually just felt like dressing up. Although it was just a button down shirt with a pair of fitted dress pants and a pair of my father’s dress shoes, it was definitely more dressing up than I normally did.

Fixing my hair with gel and making a few finishing touches, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I expected another text from Pinkie, reminding me of the time the party was going to start, considering the fact that she had been texting me about it the whole time. I was surprised to see that instead, it was Sunset. “Meet me at the gas station by Pinkie’s before the party. Have something for you.” A few seconds later another text appeared. “I’m here now btw. Come asap.”

Something for me? I asked myself, my heart pounding with excitement. I knew it had to be a present of some kind, but I wasn’t sure exactly why I wouldn’t just receive it at the party, and for that matter, why instead, I was receiving it at a gas station. With anxiety suddenly pumping through my veins, I hurried with my hair, grabbed my debit card just in case I needed it, and rushed out of the door. I was planning on walking to the party since Pinkie’s house wasn’t too far. With the mysterious present in mind, my walk ended up turning into more of a jog due to sheer curiosity.

I was rather surprised that I was only panting slightly when I reached the gas station. I felt as though I could actually still jog for quite a bit farther. I guess Rainbow Dash’s coaching was paying off. Sunset Shimmer stood with her back resting against the concrete surface of the gas station front. The bright yellow glow of the sun lit up her face and hair. Her eyes were closed and a contented look could be seen on her lips. She looked incredibly comfortable and relaxed as she soaked up the sun’s warmth. That is, besides her arms which seemed to be placed awkwardly behind her back. She must have heard my footsteps as I approached. Her eyes slowly blinked open and a smirk formed on her lips. “Hey,” she sang in a teasing tone.

“Hey, Sunset, what’s this all about?” I questioned. Pushing away from the wall, she held out one hand, the other still behind her back. In it were two cigars.

“I know this is sort of a rite of passage for guys who turn eighteen. Pinkie’s parties are always pretty PG, so I figured we could smoke these before we head over there. I bet she won’t have anything like these.” She handed one over and I examined it carefully. From its appearance, the cigar didn’t look like anything too special. Considering the fact that she purchased it at the gas station, I could assume it was fairly cheap anyways. I had never smoked before in my life, but for whatever reason, maybe movies or television, I knew that you weren’t supposed to inhale a cigar’s smoke like you would a cigarette. “Got you this too,” she said, shaking me from my thoughts. I looked up to see a brightly colored scratch ticket staring me in the face.

“Well, thanks so much,” I said with a smile, rather excited to try my first cigar and a bit less excited to see if I’d win anything on the scratch ticket.

“Wait, one more thing,” she said, her smirk returning, this time much wider.

“Huh, um, what?” I muttered curiously, noticing that one hand was still hidden behind her back.

“Take a guess. What’s one more thing that guys can get at a gas station when they turn eighteen?” she asked, chuckling softly. My eyes turned up to the blue sky above as I pondered the question. Suddenly it hit me. I didn’t even have to say a word for her to know that I had figured it out. My face lit up with red, and I stared at her with my mouth half open in astonishment. Her chuckle turning into a laugh, and she handed over a cheaply printed magazine with a scantily clad girl in a rather suggestive pose on its cover. “You do whatever you want with that in your spare time,” she cooed teasingly, giving me a wink. “But that’s it for your presents. I’m not providing anymore sexual favors than this… but I guess you’d be the one providing for yourself in this case.” My eyes were still wide and I could feel my face growing hotter and hotter. I was too embarrassed to even speak, and she was making it even worse, on purpose of course. “Anyways,” she said, giving me a hard pat on the back, “how about we light up these cigars. Looks like you’re going to need it now.”

“Yeah,” I muttered shyly. She took a seat on the curb and patted the dusty cement with her hand. I felt a pang of guilt after I sat down, but knew it was already too late to save my dress pants. After baking in the warmth of the sun all day, the cement had grown warm to the touch. Sunset pulled out a small box of matches from her pocket and struck two against its side. With a hiss, they erupted into a large flame. With cigar in her mouth, Sunset put the flame to its exposed tip. As the matches continued to burn, she gently twirled the cigar until orange embers could be seen in the tobacco. She then pulled it away and let out a small puff of wispy, blue-grey smoke.

“Now let me light you up,” she said with a soft smile, motioning for me to place my own cigar in my mouth. I did as I was told, and she leaned with her own. I felt nervous again. The way she leaned her face in so close to my own reminded me of when we used to kiss. I couldn’t shake the feeling even though I knew the situation was nothing like that.

We’re friends and that’s it, I assured myself.

“Just do what I did,” Sunset stated, pulling the cigar from her mouth for a short second before returning it. I suddenly remembered what we were trying to accomplish. I sucked in but made sure not to inhale. At first, I could only faintly taste the tobacco which had grown damp from my lips. I began to twirl the cigar as she had, and soon both tips were glowing. I coughed slightly as an incredibly harsh and dry flavor sunk into my tongue and the insides of my cheeks. “Looks like I got it,” Sunset said, carefully examining the cigar.

With a content sigh, she stretched out her legs, resting the heels of her boots in the empty parking space before her. I hesitantly took small puff after small puff of the strong tobacco, letting it rest in my mouth a short moment before exhaling. I would then watch the delicate trails of smoke travel upwards into the still air before being wafted away by a light breeze farther up. I was slowly becoming more content with the flavor and growing more accustomed to its harshness. The tobacco itself had a slightly sweet after taste and whatever was put upon the wrapping seemed to have an even sweeter flavor. This sweetness which sunk into my slowly numbing lips took away from the strength of the smoke, making it feel at least a bit milder.

“So, what do you think so far?” Sunset asked, watching my inhalation and exhalation rather observantly.

“Honestly, I thought it was terrible at first… but now, I dunno. It sort of tastes good.”

“That’s exactly what I thought when I first tried one,” she said with a smile. “Now just wait for the nicotine to get to you. It’ll make you like it even more.”

“I, uh, I’m not gonna get addicted or anything, right?”

“No,” she said with a soft shake of her head. “One cigar isn’t going to hurt you. You’ll be okay… well, unless you start smoking one every day or something. Then you might have a problem.”

“Alright,” I said softly, the numbing of my lips seeming to slowly spread further through my body and mind. “I, uh, I think I’m starting to get the nicotine now.”

“Relaxing, huh?”

“Yeah,” I said with a sigh, the cement suddenly seeming quite a bit more comfortable.

“So, are you going to look through that magazine? You might as well get a little preview for later.”

I looked down at the magazine sitting beside. It lay flat on the surface of the filthy cement, a few black circles of ancient gum surrounding it. I could feel my cheeks burning again. “N-no… not now. It’d be pretty weird to look at something like this out the open, don’t you think?”

“Damn, I was hoping I’d get your entire face to turn red again. It was pretty hilarious when you first realized it was porn. The look on your face was priceless. Now that I’m thinking about it, I should’ve taken a picture. Do it again for me,” she teased, giving me another wink.

“Sunset!” I groaned playfully.

“Oh, fine, just enjoy yourself later. I didn’t want a show anyways.” My cheeks flushed at the statement. “Hmm, almost there, almost, nope. It’s just not the same as that first reaction.” We both laughed softly before growing silent. It was another comfortable silence, something I had grown used to by spending so much time with the girls. In a way, silence can gauge how close you really are to someone. If it gets to the point where you can both not say a word for minutes on end and you don’t feel awkward at all whatsoever, you know the person beside you can be considered a friend. Just as Sunset had been doing earlier, I let my eyes fall shut and tilted my head so that the sun beamed down upon my face. The natural and pleasingly intense warmth added even further to my already relaxed state. We continued to puff away in silence, tapping light grey ashes onto the asphalt when needed. Feeling inquisitive, I ended up breaking the silence. It had been a while since I really got to talk to Sunset.

“So, it seems like you’re enjoying this world a bit better now, huh? Do you still miss home or…?”

Sunset turned to me with a half-smile. “Yeah, I do on occasion, but I guess with the way things turned out here, this sort of is my home now.”

I smiled at the thought of her finally feeling comfortable. Even though we were no longer together, I still cared for her as much as I had when we were. I knew what a problem it had been for her. “Things did turn out pretty great.”

“For you… or for me?”

“Both.”

“Yeah, I’m really glad we have the little friend group we do. Everything seems pretty great when they’re around. Even just knowing I have them is nice.”

“It really is.”

“It’s good to know you still care too.”

“Mhm, it’s good to know you always cared, even after how mean I was to you.”

“That’s in the past now. We make even better friends anyways.”

“I guess you’re right, there.”

We grew silent again. I was happy, content with everything that had happened up until that point. I was even able to forget the many mistakes I had made for a time. Even when I remembered, I knew I was ready to face them and make up for those I hadn’t already. Until then though, I had cigar to finish, a warm, beautiful evening, and an amazing friend beside me.

“Thanks, Sunset,” I said softly.

“You already said that,” she responded smugly.

“No, not just the presents, for this, all of this,” I said with a grin.

The Monster

My ears were greeted with bouncy upbeat pop music as Sunset and I entered Pinkie’s home. It looked almost like a completely different home with the large amount of colorful balloons, confetti, and streamer covering every corner of the living room. “It’s Sunset! And the guy we’ve all been waiting for… the BIRTHDAY BOY!” Pinkie screeched joyously, throwing her hands into the air. “Heheh,” she then began to giggle, “or should I say the birthday man!”

“Pinkie,” I groaned, feeling my cheeks warming up.

“Yes, mister man?” she asked, hopping towards us, two plastic cups of punch in her hands. She handed Sunset a drink and gave her a quick hug before turning to me and doing the same. “And for you, an extra big hug!” she announced as her arms squeezed tightly around my waist. I wrapped my arms around her as well, feeling the air expelling from my lungs.

“Pinkie,” I said again, this time with my voice restricted from the tight embrace. My eyes felt as though they were going to pop right out of the sockets when she squeezed even tighter, her breasts and stomach pushing tightly against my body. I let out a groan and she finally took the hint, pulling away after what seemed like minutes of hugging.

“Anyways, enjoy the punch! I put an extra special ingredient in for tonight. It’s spiked, and I totally don’t mean Twilight’s dog is using it as a tub or something!”

“You… you mean it has alcohol?”

“Yep, yep, yeppers, that’s right mister man! You really are gonna be all grown up tonight!”

“Uh, alright then,” I muttered.

“Guess I was wrong,” Sunset whispered, nudging her elbow into my side. We were both surprised by Pinkie’s idea of underage drinking. As Sunset had said earlier at the gas station, Pinkie’s parties were normally much tamer. As long as it was with people I knew well enough like the girls, I was fine with whatever she had in store. It looked like Sunset was fairly pleased with the idea of the extra party favor as well.

“So, how about we do gifts first, maybe some cake, then we get to the partying. Sound good?” Pinkie asked, motioning for everyone to gather around the sofa. She sat me down in the center of it while the other girls gathered their gifts. Rainbow Dash was first up. I was honestly expecting a weight so I could do even more exercise than I already was. So I was surprised that the package she had for me was so small.

Taken over by curiosity, I quickly peeled away the wrapping and threw it into the trash bag Pinkie had returned with from the kitchen. Inside was what looked to be a simple black wristband along with some kind of plug in to an audio jack. “It measures how many steps you take in a day and how many calories you burn. You can set goals for yourself too, and enter in what you eat and other exercise you do. Pretty sweet, huh?” Rainbow asked with a proud grin, putting the band around my wrist herself.

“Yeah, it’s awesome,” I said with a nod and smiled.

“I just figured since you’ve been getting into exercising more and more lately, you’d want something to tell you how awesome you’re doing at it. Then you can push yourself even harder!”

“Even harder?” I asked teasingly.

“Well, yeah, you’re already getting some nice toning going on,” she complimented, squeezing one hand around my bicep and using the other to poke at my hardening stomach. “But you can always look better.” I chuckled at the tingling sensation her poking caused in my gut.

“Alright, alright, you’re gonna keep helping me though, right?”

“Duh, of course I am!”

“Um, I guess mine will help you get into shape too… i-in a way,” Fluttershy mumbled, stepping up beside Rainbow Dash. “Here,” she said, handing me a delicately wrapped box. I almost felt bad for tearing open such a nicely wrapped gift, but that was where the present was after all. I opened it up to find what looked to be a shoe box with a brand name I had never before heard of printed on its top. “I hope I got the size right. If not I’ll take them back and get you the right ones,” she mumbled as I pulled off its lid. Inside was a pair of what looked to be rather high quality hiking boots. “You seemed to enjoy our hike. So I thought that maybe we could go again sometime.”

“Yeah, yeah I did… thank you, Fluttershy,” I said, trying not to sound as confused as I was. After what had happened on our hike, I figured she would never want to go on another with me again. Maybe the boots were a way to forgive me for my actions. “We’ll have to do that again soon, yeah?” I asked, not wanting to put down such an offer. Along with that, I knew I had to apologize for what I had done, considering the fact that I was already being forgiven. I would wait until after the party began when I could talk with her more privately.

“Whelp, gettin’ into shape is good n’ all, but how about some real hard work? Ya know what ah mean, huh, Sugarcube?” Applejack said, pushing herself to the front, a metal toolbox in her hand. “Now ah figured this didn’t need no fancy wrappin’, so here ya go.” She dropped it onto my lap. “Since ya never seem ta do any work around your own house, ah decided to help. So there ya are, your first tool box!”

“Uh… thanks, yeah, thanks,” I muttered, opening it up to examine the many tools with in. Both the box and its contents looked as though they had seen their fair share of repairs.

“It’s nothing too special, just one of our old toolboxes that we don’t really use anymore. It’ll get the job done though. It’s reliable, just like anyone or anything in the Apple family.”

“All of this physical exertion is okay, but how about making yourself look lovely without lifting a finger?” Rarity asked proudly, pushing Applejack aside. She handed me a small box, even smaller than the one Rainbow Dash had given me. Although perhaps not as precisely well wrapped as Fluttershy’s, the sparkling gold wrapping and velvet silver bowtie certainly made up for it. I wondered how much more expensive her wrapping was than the others as I gently tore it off. Inside was a gift card to one of the nicer salons in town. It was one of Rarity’s go to locations as well. The card was for a full spa treatment, including a haircut, close shave, massage, and time in the sauna.

“Sounds like I’ll be having a rejuvenating and relaxing day one of these weekends,” I said with a smile. Although going to a spa to be pampered didn’t seem like something I would enjoy all that much, I was willing to try it at least once. This was especially true considering that all of it was a free gift.

“Oh, please tell me when you do, dear. I’d love to join,” Rarity squealed with delight. Having Rarity along with me made the idea sound even better. Although a bit of a diva, I really did enjoy spending time with her.

“How about you, Sunset?” Pinkie asked, realizing that she had not yet handed over any gifts.

“I already got her present,” I said quickly, giving the two of them a smile.

“Oh, was it something super-duper secret?” Pinkie asked, her bright eyes turning to me questioningly. I rolled mine in response and shook my head. “Alrighty, looks like that’s everyone then!” she cheered. “…Well, except for me, hehe! Don’t you worry, I didn’t forget!” Of course she didn’t. I figured the party was already a nice enough gift, but she had more planned, it seemed. “Mine is a secret, but you’re gonna have to wait! I’ll give it to you later tonight, okay?”

“I… uh, okay,” I muttered, my curiosity once again being piqued. I was certainly beginning to enjoy the idea of surprises. Not only was it fun wondering what they were and anxiously waiting for them to be revealed, but if it was anything like Sunset’s, I would enjoy it as well.

Soon after, the music was turned up even louder, and we all began to lose ourselves in our own happy little world of dancing, laughing, and drinking.

***

After everyone got settled into the idea of partying, some more quickly than others, and after I had chatted and danced with both Rainbow Dash and Rarity, I figured it was about time I should go and apologize to Fluttershy. Along with that, I was fairly sure I could already feel the effects of the spiked punch kicking in. My mind felt somewhat fuzzy, and although I was having a wonderful time, I was beginning to feel a bit too distanced from reality. I didn’t want to be drunk when I talked to Fluttershy. So I figured the sooner we talked the better.

I caught her by the punch bowl where she was refilling her glass with more of Pinkie’s delicious concoction. I honestly figured she wouldn’t be drinking at all considering how innocent and respecting of the rules she was. I was sure she wanted to have fun too though. Along with that, knowing that all of her friends were doing the same was surely both comforting and encouraging to her. Ah, the joys of situational peer pressure. “Hey,” she said softly as she turned to me, barely audible over the pounding music. She took a sip from her cup and smiled.

“Hey, Fluttershy, enjoying the party so far?”

“Mhm, how about you? It is yours after all.”

“Yeah, yeah it’s fun… it’s just that… well, something’s been bothering me lately.”

“Oh, that’s no good. What is it?” she asked with concern, her shyness fading.

“It’s just about that hike we went on,” I watched as the anxiety and fear immediately returned to her face. “I… I just wanted to say I’m sorry for what I did. I’ve just been so desperate for wanting something like that again lately… um, not saying that I was doing that out of desperation or anything. I just mean, I guess I read everything wrong, and I never should’ve tried to push it. So, I’m sorry, and I don’t want to make things awkward for you again. Let’s just stay friends and keep it that way.”

“Oh, my, um, okay, yes, I want us to stay friends. I’m really glad to have you as one. I never meant to send you the wrong signals, I just don’t know how I did. I’m sorry too. I’ve never been good at things like that. I-if you don’t mind me asking, what made you think that I was, w-w-well, interested in you?” she muttered, her face growing red and her eyes squinting shut.

“I…” I was a bit taken back by the question, not really expecting it to come up. “I guess it was just the way you were acting. You kept looking over at me, and, well, yeah.”

“Oh, no, was that it?” Fluttershy gasped in embarrassment. “I’m so sorry. I really shouldn’t have been staring. I was just thinking about how nice it would be to have a new friend. It’s not too often that I make one. I just stick to the ones I have. So I guess the only reason I was doing that is because it was strange and exciting to have someone new to spend time with. I never meant anything else by it.”

“Hey,” I said comfortingly, stopping her from a continuous repeating of apologies, “it’s fine, all I want is for us to be friends. So let’s just forget about what happened there and go back to the way things were before that. I want to hike with you again, and maybe even go back to the animal shelter another time to volunteer more.”

“That sounds wonderful,” Fluttershy said softly, giving me a wide smile. “It’s really nice to have a friend that enjoys some of the same things as I do.”

“Yeah, it is,” I said with a happy sigh, smiling back at her.

“Um, wanna dance for a bit. We can talk more while we do. I just haven’t done it for quite a while and figured tonight would be a good ti-”

“Yeah, sure,” I interrupted, sticking my tongue out at her teasingly. I knew she would go on and on attempting to explain herself if I didn’t stop her. I was ecstatic. Fluttershy was being the real Fluttershy around me once again. I knew I missed having her out of her shell, but I hadn’t realized how much I did until that moment. She was a great friend to have, and it would only get better. I can’t even remember what we talked about while we drank and danced. It was nothing too important anyways, just pointless conversations to pass the time and enjoy ourselves. All that mattered was that it made us both enjoy ourselves even more than we already were.

With the combination of both the strain of dancing and the thirst quenching flavor of the punch, so sugary and flavorful that the harsh alcohol was barely noticeable, I hadn’t realized how much of it I had been drinking until it was much too late. The music seemed to fill my head even more so than it had before. The world around me, along with my thoughts were more of distant blur than they had been. I was much too lost to notice a hand being placed upon my shoulder as I continued to dance with Fluttershy. “Hey! Hey, mister man! Don’t you want your surprise?” I heard from behind me, but was much too caught up in my movements to pay it any attention. “Hey!” Fluttershy opened her eyes and looked at me with concern. I returned her gaze with a curious one of my own. She pointed behind me in response. I turned to find an equally, if not more so, gone Pinkie Pie behind me. She gave me a wide and surprisingly energetic grin for the state that she was in, not that I paid it much attention at the time. “It’s time for your present,” she cooed, grabbing my hand and pulling me away.

“Oh, cool,” I muttered out, vaguely realizing it seemed harder than normal to speak properly. “So… so I have a question, yeah.”

“Better not be about the present,” Pinkie responded, shaking a finger in front of my face as she continued to pull me along. Soon, we were making our way up the stairs with some difficulty.

“Where are your parents and stuff… and… and why are they letting you have a party like this?”

“Oh, they let me have the house to myself every time I throw a party. They trust me enough to be a good girl.”

“Well, you’re not being very good tonight… are… are you?” I questioned, stumbling over my own words.

“Hehe!” she giggled loudly and then snorted. “Nope, I’m being naughty tonight.”

“Bad Pinkie,” I mumbled, laughing to myself, and then harder as she began to as well. Practically forgetting our journey up the stairs altogether, I felt as if I had magically teleported into the bright and colorfully themed room we were suddenly standing in. I deduced that it was Pinkie’s after seeing a multitude of stuffed animals and other toys, along with the balloon and heart shaped stickers on the walls.

“So… so what’s my present?” I asked as she closed the door. Pinkie smiled wide as she locked then locked it with a soft click. “Oh, you’ll see, silly. Grown men shouldn’t be so super impatient.”

“Hey!” I muttered in defense, glaring at the vivacious girl skipping towards me. It was almost as if she had been drinking coffee all night rather than punch.

“Oh, shush and sit down!” she teased, placing a hand on my shoulder and walking me backwards to the edge of the bed. Not sure exactly of what to expect, I took a seat as she asked. The bed seemed to be just as bouncy as her personality, and I seemed to be enjoying its springiness a little too much. I chuckled as I bounced myself for a moment and then looked up to Pinkie with a smile. Suddenly, she was in my lap, her hands fiddling with the buttons of my shirt.

“Pinkie… what’re you…” I mumbled in confusion as more and more of my upper half was exposed.

“Well, duh, it’s sorta obvious, no?”

“Uh… um… not really.” I knew she didn’t think of me as anything more than a friend. We had discussed it before and all of that was behind us. So why in the world was she suddenly sitting in my lap, stripping off my shirt? It was the only reasonable explanation I could think of, even though it didn’t seem that reasonable at all. “Pinkie…”

“C’mon, you didn’t even guess, ya party pooper!” she teased, lifting up my arms so she could pull away my shirt. So lost in confusion, I hadn’t even taken into account that her backside was literally pressing down onto my crotch until it was too late. My jaw dropped as the pleasure both physical and mental rushed through me. I struggled to contain myself, but my instincts got the better of me. “Heheh, now you’re getting the right idea, mister man,” Pinkie cooed, looking from my reddening face to where our crotches met.

“…Pinkie?” I gasped in disbelief. I could feel myself returning to reality, whether it be from plain shock or the reality of the matter.

Her hand cupped around my cheek and she proceeded to lean in with a seductive smile on her lips. “I’m gonna make you a real man tonight. I know you’ve wanted this for a while,” she whispered softly but playfully into my ear. My heart jumped and my body buzzed with excitement. I was wrong after all. She was going to do exactly what I had originally thought. “Wanna help me with my shirt?” she asked as she pulled away, giving me a wink. I looked at her silently, my mind still processing the situation. I wanted it. I wanted her. We had become such close friends that perhaps it wouldn’t make things awkward between us. Maybe it would become a normal activity for us. Even in my suddenly sober state, everything in my mind and body was telling me yes besides one small voice of reason. Deep in the back of my mind, I knew that everything about what we were about to do was wrong. I just couldn’t quite get a hold of why that was. “No fun!” Pinkie pouted playfully. “Guess I’ll just have to do it myself.”

My thoughts came to a halt as the beautiful sight unfurled before my eyes. Pinkie slowly and teasingly lifted shirt away from her body. Beneath was a pair of perky, well-sized breasts, held up by an almost comical looking bra covered with pastel yellow and blue balloons. She certainly went all out with her fun, party girl personality. That was beside the point though, and something I definitely wasn’t thinking about at the time. There was suddenly a pair of amazing boobs in front of me, and I had no idea how to react. “I… we… Pinkie,” I muttered, this time even more undiscernible than my other breathless statements. Then it hit me. I knew the reason why it was wrong, why it needed to stop.

Memories of the night I had expressed my feelings to her flashed through my mind. I remembered how she had forced herself to tell me that she felt the same, that she was willing to be my girlfriend. In reality, all she wanted to do was make her friend happy, piece together a broken me. She would do so even if it meant making herself unhappy. I had a feeling that what she was doing that night was of a similar goal.

“Pinkie,” I said softly as she reached behind her back to undo her bra. I had the primal urge to let her continue but quickly stopped myself. I grabbed her hands and pulled them towards me, making sure that she could not continue.

“Huh?” she asked, tilting her head in confusion.

“Pinkie Pie, why are you doing this?” I asked, changing the mood of our encounter to something much more solemn.

“Well, it’s your birthday present,” she said, having a hard time comprehending the change of mood in her drunken state.

“Yeah, I got that figured out, but why this? You could have gotten me something much less complicated… like a normal present.”

“I know, but I thought this would be way better, and much more fun for you!”

“But why, Pinkie?”

“Ummm, well because I know you’ve really wanted something like this for a while now and since I can’t feel the same way about you as you do about me, I decided to give you the next best thing! We’re really, really good friends after all. So why not?”

“Because you don’t want this, do you? You’re just doing it for me…”

“I… I… yeah, it’s your birthday and I wanted to give you the bestest present ever!”

“So you are doing it just for me.”

“…Yes,” she said weakly, her eyes growing dull. “You were just so sad after what happened between us, and I still feel bad for saying no to you, even if you told me it was okay. Now that you have so many new friends to make you happy, I… I feel like I don’t mean much to you anymore. I wanted to show you how much I still care.”

“Pinkie…” I said just as weakly in response before letting out a sigh. She was right about one thing. Ever since I began spending time with the other girls, I had little time for her anymore. That didn’t mean she was any less of a friend than she was before that though. Once again, I had gotten caught up in my emotions and my want for something stronger than friendship. I should have showed her how much I still cared. “You’re still my friend, Pinkie, my best friend. I mean that. You’re not any less than that now that I have other friends either, okay? Believe me, I really appreciate the thought of… well… sex,” I whispered, my face growing red, “but our relationship isn’t like that. Like I said the last time, I won’t be happy if you’re not, and I won’t enjoy this if you don’t.”

“But what about your present. I didn’t get anything else for you.”

“Pinkie… you being my friend is the best present I’ve ever gotten. All of you girls being my friends is. I wouldn’t have needed anything more than that, honestly. Having you and the other girls around… it’s just… it’s made me so happy. It’s the best thing I could ever ask for, even if I never really did ask for it.”

“Aww, I still wanna make it up to you,” Pinkie said, her tone still soft. I could tell what I had said had done the trick of sobering her up as well.

“It’s fine, but if you really want to, how about we hang out next week?”

“Of course,” she said with a nod, a soft smile on her lips. She silently slipped her shirt back over her arms and situated it against her body. Not wanting to make things any more awkward, I put on my shirt as well and quickly began to button it up.

“Rainbow Dash was right, ya know,” Pinkie said with a giggle.

“Huh, about what?”

“Her coaching really is doing the job. You’re getting some musclies,” she teased, poking at my chest. I laughed and grabbed her hand, shaking my head at her. We gazed at each other a moment before she leaned down to hug me. “Thanks,” she said sweetly. I sighed with relief, knowing I had made the right choice.

“I love you, Pinkie,” I said, realizing the encounter had strengthened our friendship even further.

“Love you, too, mister man.”

It was in that moment that I realized what I had become during my time at Canterlot High School, and what I had done. I had originally blamed Sunset for my problems and pain when she broke up with me. I thought of her as a monster. Although I knew it was wrong, I also blamed Pinkie when I realized our feelings weren’t mutual. Then it was the same for the sirens. I guess, in a way, they did deserve some of the blame, but so did I. They were all monsters to me, even if I knew deep down that none of them truly were, no matter what they had done in the past. Instead, it was me, I was the monster. My lust for love had been my downfall, and it had hurt so many others along the way. I had been so cruel to Sunset when I should have been happy for her after the heroic deeds she had done. I had avoided Pinkie for the longest time because I craved what I couldn’t have with her and thought of it as some kind of cruel punishment for the innocent girl. I had even managed to hurt Fluttershy because all I wanted was love rather than friendship. Then once again, I hurt poor Pinkie, the girl that cared for me the most, because I was too caught up trying to find love.

I was happy though, happy that I had realized that fact. I was already in the process of changing, the realization was just the final boost I needed to fully become the new me. Without the amazing friends I had gained over the final month or so of the school year, I could have never done it. I did love them, all of them, but as friends. It was definitely a different kind of love than what I had originally wanted, but I was more than happy to have it. I was a monster, a real monster, but I am not a monster any longer.

Rising from the Ashes

So, I suppose that even though my tale is over, and I got my point across, you still want a bit more. You want some added closure. You want to know what happened after that. Well, I guess I can say a bit more, but not much.

Although things had definitely gotten much less magical at CHS after the ordeal with the sirens and the battle of the bands, it was just as magical to me. Although I never sprouted pony ears, a pair of wings, or a horn, or never felt the Equestrian magic as my friends did, I finally understood why they thought of friendship so highly. I even experienced how magical it was in my own way. I had the most amazing friends anyone could ever hope for, and knew that I could never take that for granted. I had so much fun with them and grew so content, that I began to stop worrying about the future or wallowing in the past.

Because of that, I didn’t worry much about the summer months before me and what lay after that. I didn’t worry about where I was going to work, what I was going to do to pass the time, anything like that. I was simply living in the moment, and knew that if things kept on going as they were, everything would be perfectly fine. I still wanted the kind of love that I had been searching for, but it didn’t matter to me nearly as much as it had before. I had found love, or at least realized that I had it, even if it was a different kind. Although that was the case, the kind of love that I had with those girls was just as special as love in the romantic sense. As long as I had friendship to tide me over until I did find that special someone, everything would alright. I know this is going to sound cheesy and probably pretty stupid to someone who doesn’t fully understand it, but friendship is magic. Oh, and one more thing.

After school ended and summer began, a rather warm day was making me crave food that was both somewhat spicy and full of flavor, more specifically, tacos. I returned to La Yegua Grasa to once again partake in eating the most delicious tacos I had ever had. Lo and behold, I soon discovered that Sonata must have had a similar craving. As I walked into the restaurant’s familiar, colorful interior, she looked up from her booth and our eyes met. My entire body froze, and so did hers. I wondered whether or not I should hate her. I still thought there was good somewhere inside of that girl, even after all that had happened. I knew I had felt it before. With my growing knowledge of friendship, I decided to approach her.

“Hey, Sonata,” I said somewhat awkwardly but quickly recovered. “Taco time again?”

“Yup! Same for you or…?”

“Yeah, haven’t been back since we came here that one time.”

“Wowzers, and you survived without these tasty things for that long?” she asked, looking down at her half empty plate of tacos.

“I guess so,” I said with a laugh, sitting down across from her.

“Uh… hey… I sorta feel kinda bad for what I did and stuff. I don’t know if Adagio and Aria will ever do this, I mean maybe, but yeah, I’m totally sorry.”

“It’s alright, I was going to forgive you anyways,” I said with a nod and smile. “Where are those two anyways?”

“Oh, cool… and they didn’t want tacos like always. Wanna, like, eat with me since I don’t have anyone else to talk to?”

“Yeah, sounds good, maybe we can hang out more this summer at some point, too? Just figured you’d want to spend some time with someone else other than those two. I’m sure it gets old.”

She giggled. “Yeah, it so does.”