The Stupid Albeit Adventuruous Chronicles Of Space Kitty In Ponyville

I walk out of my house. Pinkie's having some sort of party. The invitation was full of catnip for some reason. Probably because it's late summer and catnip wards off the little black bugs that bite you.

Making my way down to Sweet Apple Acres, I notice there's a good amount of anti-bug items set up around the farm.  I can see why. There's little mosquito clouds EVERYWHERE. Walking in, I see a mint green unicorn. I pad up to her and poke her. Lyra turns around and grins. "Hey Space! Applejack's made a [BUYSOMEAPPLES] load of cider and they're selling it at different stands to avoid crowded lines this time." she says.

"Sweet, I love some good cider!" I reply, licking my lips at the thought of getting drunk off my ass on sweet sweet apple cider. Walking over to a stand with some bits, I purchase a ton of apple cider from Applebloom.  I sit at a table with Lyra and Berry Punch. Swigging from a glass of cider, already slightly drunk, I say "Drinks are on *hic* me." before downing the entire glass in one sip.

"Awesome!" the unicorn and earth pony said in unison.

Lyra levitated a cup to her mouth and began drinking, while Berry Punch stuck her face into the mug.

"Hey, do you have... hands? You can hold a cup with your paws, how did you get paws?" Lyra asks.

"I was born a cat, Lyra. Stop obsessing over humans for goodness sake. There's a [BUY SOME APPLES] mirror in Twilight's castle that leads to a place full of them." I reply, chugging down another cider. Now this is basically what I remember from then on because I was really drunk. REALLY drunk.

I drank all of my share of the cider

I remember discussing whale semen with a purple alicorn {Probably Twilight. Hope she realized I was really drunk.)

I remember shoving a snow cone up Lyra's butt as an anal suppository (Somehow...)

And I remember walking home because my jetpack was broken.

And finally I woke up here.

Note to self: Don't drink more than half a glass of alcoholic cider...