Honeyed Porridge

by SpunkyBrony

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Pinkie Pie, Random, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack
Length: 2321

Porridge is known as breakfast type food but to Pinkie Pie, it is subordinate to dirt.

Pinkie Pie has always eaten what she likes, though it never seems to be accepted in the "Food Triangle". How will she handle eating something that 'is' accepted among the fabled triangle.

Published 2015-04-12 15:00:03 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-12 15:00:03 UTC

Mel Pulticula

'Pinkie? Are you all right?' Twilight looked over to her pink friend who looked as though all her colour had been drained from her and her seat moved as she shook.

Pinkie Pie ignored her friend's question. The only thing that demanded her attention was the meal before her.

Carrots baked until they had charred at the sides, salt sticking to the sides and steam rising off of the top. Mashed potatoes with a dollop of butter placed carefully on top which was now melting down the sides and creating golden streaks. Corn which had been boiled in water mixed with turmeric and a pinch of salt over each. Pumpkin that had been baked until crunchy in the same pan as the carrots. The salty oil that had rolled off of the carrots had mixed with pumpkin, causing a hybrid of flavours.
It was the worst.

Again Twilight called for Pinkie Pie and this time caught her attention, 'Is everything all right Pinkie?' Pinkie Pie averted her gaze over to Twilight. Pinkie Pie motioned to answer but the words died in her throat as a large waft of the meal before her drifted into her nose. Pinkie Pie pushed the plate away from under her until the smell was no longer underneath her. Rarity was horrified by Pinkie's action to push away such a glorious meal. Rainbow Dash watched on nonchalantly, her fore-legs placed behind her head to provide comforting support. Applejack was unaware of the situation, she was focusing on eating more than her friends. Fluttershy sat quietly, watching her hooves as she twiddled them.

Twilight looked over again at Pinkie Pie, her pale colour now replaced by a green hue, 'Are you feeling well Pinkie Pie?' Twilight asked.
Pinkie hesitated to answer, biding her time to devise a way to explain the dilemma without insulting her friend, 'Well... it's just that...'

Twilight noticed her pink friends plight, 'Are you allergic? Does it not look like a good meal?' Twilight looked down at her own meal and felt rather accomplished, her meal had turned out just like the recipe book explained. Did she fail her first dinner party?

Pinkie Pie shifted unsteadily in her chair, her gaze dodging Twilights, 'No, it's just that... there are vegetables on my plate.'

Twilight tried to register her friends comment, tried to upload the information to her brain, yet it seemed like such a confusing statement. Rarity worked faster that Twilight, she had experienced the same problem with Sweetie Belle, 'Well of course darling, how else would you eat?'
A small twitch travelled through Pinkie Pie's ear as the words entered her mind. The disgust from the meal disappeared, how else would you eat?

"The question seemed rather ludicrous and should have answered itself" Pinkie mused, but still Rarity looked on earnestly waiting for an answer, 'Sweets.' Pinkie Pie finally answered, 'Chocolate, Muffins, Cak-

Rarity interjected Pinkie Pie's list, beginning her sentence before Pinkie Pie could continue for however long, 'Yes darling, but...' Rarity started, 'you cannot live on just "Sweets"' a cold sweat moved down her neck as Pinkie starred at her, as if the pink mare's gaze bored into her.
Rarity squirmed in her seat as she mulled over her last sentence, it was practically impossible to feed off of just "junk food". Rarity was unsure of how to confer with Pinkie Pie on the subject further and turned to Twilight, Twilight would surely know more about this than she would. Rarity met eyes with Twilights and she gestured her head towards Pinkie, inferring that she should speak with Pinkie now.

Twilight caught the gesture and moved in, 'I'm sure you eat more than "Sweets" Pinkie?'

Pinkie Pie thought about that question, trying her best to register that last time she had eaten something other than a sugar coated muffin or some delicious sweet, but none came to mind. Pinkie tapped her hoof against her chin and racked her brain for the slightest memory, sitting in a rather uncomfortable position for a couple minutes while the others waited ... Eureka!

'Those baked bads!' Pinkie said, rather pleased with the variety of foods she had eaten, even with the small sample size and the plaque-like sickness that followed, though the look on Twilights face said otherwise. Twilight raised an eyebrow ever slightly but still displayed her doubt towards Pinkie's food variety.

'Are you sure? You ate those about two years ago. There must be something else.' Twilight asked.

Pinkie Pie returned to her thoughtful state, almost mimicking "The Thinker". For a time she sat there, constantly stopping to ask about compromises in her diet yet each question was answered with Twilight shaking her head, 'Does Carrot Cake count?' 'What about Apple Pie?' 'Candied Apples?' Twilight continued to reject Pinkie's foods as "acceptable", each of them had far too little nutrition to keep Pinkie sustained, even Applejack's pie's were not a healthy diet. Twilight pondered the possibilities of a pony surviving without essential nutrients, it could be possible... for Pinkie Pie.

'Have you ever tried vegetables?' Twilight asked.

Pinkie Pie immediately answered, firstly with a look of disgust, as if she had collected another sniff of her meal. Pinkie's nose reared up and she clasped her fore-legs over her stomach, 'Yes'. Pinkie finally answered once her green hue disappeared again, 'but only once, and it was yucky!'

Twilight agreed on Pinkie's thoughts, the first time she had tasted vegetables and was conscious of it she thought her stomach would leap out of her throat yet as she grew older she began to accept the tastes, and rather enjoy them, 'Yes, I'm sure but. Why don't you eat vegetables?'
Pinkie again looked at Twilight as though she had asked an extremely stupid question but Pinkie decided to humour her, 'Well silly, I have a picky sweet tooth.' Pinkie stopped suddenly and thought over her sentence again, replacing a word, 'Tooths'. Content with her fixed sentence she continued her explanation, 'and they don't like vegetables. Only Sweeties'

Twilight thought her friends explanation ridiculous but how could she question Pinkie Pie's logic, this was almost like the Pinkie sense event, except more diet related, 'Have you ever tried changing your diet?' Twilight asked, the idea brought disgust to Pinkie Pie. How could her friend ever suggest such a thing.

'What do you mean change?' Pinkie asked, her eyebrows furrowed, 'I could never do such a thing.'

Twilight seemed rather elated by Pinkie Pie's response, even though the usually cheerful pony was trying to be as serious as she could be, 'Well of course you can' Twilight replied. Before Pinkie could retaliate Twilight had zoomed off into her kitchen, the sound of a fridge opening then closing and the tapping of Twilight's hooves against her wooden floor was the only sound to be heard. Twilight stepped through the archway into her kitchen, exiting with a small bowl in her magical grasp, a lid on top hiding its contents. Twilight released the bowl in front of Pinkie Pie. It was a simple bowl, flexible plastic coloured red and a flexible white lid on top.

Twilight peeled off the lid and revealed the contents. Pinkie Pie felt the need to rear up and escape her seat. Though Pinkie Pie contained her disgust and watched carefully, being sure not to let the smell of porridge enter her nose. Pinkie Pie turned to her friend who was looking over her shoulder, 'Twilight, you can't be serious. Porridge? and it's cold.' she pleaded.

Twilight was taken aback by Pinkie Pie's comment, she had prepared that meal especially for herself next morning and now he was sharing it with her friend who did not appreciate it at all. Twilight pushed away the comment before it continued to creep on her for the sake of her friend. Twilight fired up her horn and cast a heating spell onto the porridge, within seconds the porridge started to create steam.
'What about now?' Twilight asked.

Pinkie's answer was immediate, 'But, it's still porridge.' Pinkie Pie gestured towards the bowl.

Twilight considered her reaction, though she didn't expect any less. Twilight returned to the kitchen and arrived back as fast as she had left. This time with a jar filled with a yellow substance and a metal spoon, along with some brown sugar.

Pinkie Pie knew that the jar was filled with honey and the sight of a sweet food filled her with delight. With the situation she was forced into with non-sweet foods in front of her the sight of honey almost pulled the drool out of her. Pinkie Pie was delighted when Twilight stopped next to her, hopefully her friend would share her honey. Little fireworks sparked off inside her when Twilight began to unscrew the cap off of the jar. Once Twilight dipped the spoon inside the jar, loud drums were playing inside Pinkie's stomach.

Closing her eyes, Pinkie Pie opened her mouth and hoped that the spoon would be place inside her mouth, letting her retrieve the honey off of the spoon. For a time Pinkie Pie kept that position, waiting for the spoon to drop into her mouth, but when her expectations were not met she popped open her eyelids, only to be met with the worst sight imaginable.

The honey and brown sugar were going into the porridge!

Pinkie Pie panicked. She placed her hooves under the stream of honey Twilight was creating with the spoon and saved as much as she could, though, it didn't last for long. The stream stopped and Pinkie had rescued as much as she could, the honey and sugar was going to live a happy life in her belly now. Pinkie began licking at the honey while looking sulkily at Twilight who returned a sullen look.

Once finished with her sticky meal Pinkie Pie face Twilight, 'Why would you condemn honey!' Pinkie Pie said as she pointed at the porridge, her eyes trying their best to avoid it's look. Though it did look rather enticing with a swirl of honey and sprinkled sugar now gracing it.
'Pinkie! Honey and Porridge tastes good' Twilight explained, 'You should try it.'

Pinkie Pie lowered herself until she was eye-level with the porridge and now glaring into it, hoping that she would burn it into a crisp and the honey would be saved. Twilight soon decided that she had no other choice, 'Applejack!'

Applejack pulled her focus from the meal and averted it to Twilight, 'What's up Twi?'

'Can you hold down Pinkie Pie' Twilight said as she collected the bowl and spoon in her magical grasp.

Applejack looked rather worried by Twilights request, though, not as much as Pinkie Pie who was sure of what was going to come from this, 'Why do ya want me to do that?'

Twilight continued to peer at Pinkie Pie who was now readying herself to escape her seat, 'I just need you to do it. Now would be a good time.'
Pinkie struggled out of her seat, almost rolling onto the floor. Applejack wasted no time in obeying Twilight, she lunged for Pinkie Pie and easily caught her by sitting on her pink friends torso and holding down her fore-legs with her own, 'There ya go. Now could ya explain why exactly ah'm doing this?'

'Don't worry about it Applejack, all is well and soon it will be resolved' Twilight approached the wrestling ponies while collecting a spoonful of porridge, 'Now Pinkie, you may reject it at first but you will enjoy it.' Pinkie Pie squirmed to no avail but her efforts proved useless, every effort to slip out of Applejack's grip was quashed. Finally Pinkie Pie accepted her detainment but she would not accept the porridge. Pinkie Pie squeezed her mouth shut and denied to open it.

By now, Twilight had forgotten all about Pinkie Pie's eating habits and was now determined to force Pinkie Pie to eat porridge. Twilight collected one of her quills and began rubbing it against Pinkie Pie's sides, trying to allow a gap for them to force the porridge into her mouth, though, Pinkie Pie did not laugh, nor move for that matter. She merely laid there ignoring the feather.

Twilight discarded the feather next to her victim and devised a new plan. Twilight remembered when Pinkie Pie had shared a secret with her, a secret that she clearly wanted to keep hidden, 'Hey Everypony! Did you know that Pinkie Pie once trapped her ho-
As expected a quite hiss escaped Pinkie Pie, 'Eveeeeeerrrr-

Twilight used that moment to cram the spoon into Pinkie Pie's mouth, drop off the porridge, pull the spoon out and hold Pinkie's mouth closed. Pinkie Pie shook and bucked as hard as she could, even proving to be a problem for Applejack but soon enough the movement stopped and Pinkie Pie lay still, a somewhat thoughtful look on her face. As if deciding if what she just ate was delicious or not.

Twilight released her friend, as did Applejack. Pinkie Pie still lay on the ground thinking about what she had just eaten. Several moments passed by until Pinkie Pie finally came to a conclusion, 'That was quite good... what's your secret.'

Twilight felt a sudden urge to say 'it's a secret' but decided that the best option would be to tell the truth, 'I just add honey. Honey makes everything taste much better. Soon enough you'll be able to eat vegetables without honey.' 'The brown sugar was just for porridge.'
Pinkie Pie thought about this idea for some time til she finally asked a question, a question Twilight will regret this afternoon.

'Everything?' Pinkie asked.

'Yes, everything.'

***

That evening the pantry shelves of Twilight home were ransacked and all her honey was devoured by Pinkie Pie, along with all her vegetables.

Author's Note

Just a short story while I keep up with my studies.