Alex and Jose is back in action!

by Deathmolisher

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Adventure, Crossover, Human
Length: 1039

A 'Big Ass Spider' fanfic.

Alex and his sidekick Jose are back in action! What the hell do you need a description for?! Nuff said…

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-17 22:52:28 UTC

They call me the "Exterminator"

How is it going? My name is Alex. I am an Exterminator and I live to kill. I specialize in killing oversized rodents, commonly caused by government tests. Whenever shit hits the fan I’m on their speed dial. I am the Exterminator.

“Alex! How is it going amigo?” Jose, my partner in crime, said walking into my office. Jose is an awesome sidekick who happens to speak Spanish. Most likely because he’s Mexican, but you never know.

“It’s going ya’ know? So what’s up?” I replied.

“Oh you know the usual. Government is up to some wild experiments.  I got a call from General Joshua. He said something about a worm hole. Es una locura.” He explained.

I stood up from my computer chair and walked over to my Spanish comrade.  “Hehe well lets go shall we?” I start towards the door. I hear Jose grab the keys and speed out before I can. He turned around right outside the door as he poked his head in.

“Only I get to drive! Remember that camarada!” Jose gave me a serious glare before continuing to the truck. I chuckled and followed. Let’s get this party started.

What kind of wormhole is this!?

“What the actual fuck am I looking at Josh?” I said staring at the endless abyss. “No really I’m confused someone shed some light on this.”

“It’s a wormhole Mr. Mathis. We need you to test it and see where it goes.” General Joshua said.

“Hey amigo nos dice lo que es el abeto” I cut off Jose mid-sentence.

“Jose my dude you’re speaking Spanish again please.” I said.

“Right I’m sorry. First tell us what it is before we test anything!” Jose translated.

“A wormhole is a hypothetical connection between widely separated regions of space-time, except we proved it real. As you can see this is a mini man created wormhole. Completely unaware of what is on the other said. That is if there is one.

“Wait what?” Jose said. I nodded at the general to continue, he did.

“A worm hole is amazing because it bends the laws of physics and logic all together.” He grabbed a piece of paper from his vest pocket. ”Say this is us.” He drew a circle on the paper. “And this is our target destination” He drew another circle on the opposite corner. ”Got me so far?”

“All I understood out of that was “Un ornitorrinco comer un hipopótamo” Jose said in an impatient kind of way. The general folded the paper, took a pen out, and poked a hole through the paper.

“This is what it does. It takes us to another space within space. We don’t know what’s on the other side but it’s nothing harmless. Oh and we may have or may not release an actual giant worm inside the hole. Damn thing broke out of its testing cage.” General Joshua said.

“With all due respect general-“I began but he started again.

“We will send you a pod to return and when you do you’ll be gifted five hundred dollars cash. Bring some sort of evidence that the worm has been neutralized an extra five hundred will be granted.”

“Wa-what? You mean you’ll give me a mil if I come back? Hell yeah I’m in! Jose what about you, partner in crime?”

“Claro que sí! Alex there is no way you going on an interdimensional adventure without me!” Jose patted my back. This is why you’re my best friend pal.

“This will be interstellar travel if anything. You’re not going to a different dimension. Anyways ready when you are Mr. Mathis.” He motioned to the pod.

“Wait earlier you said a pod to return. Why can’t we just use this one to come back?” I questioned.

“The pod won’t be able to have enough juice to return so we’ll have to send you another one. Inside the pod is a L.R.S.T. This stands for Long Ranged Space Transmitter. This baby can communicate up to 2.65 billion light years away. Made it myself” Said Prof.Kate clasping her hands a laughing.

“Alright then, we’re ready.” I said as I tapped Jose’s shoulder. We slowly make our self’s to the pod. It was a sling shot or like a rollercoaster but across space. The machine slowly went forward and slowly gained speed. “Are you nervous Jose?”

“Yeah are you? This is scary we barely know where we’re going.” Jose said surprisingly calm.

“Just clench your shotgun. We got this oversized creepy crawly.” I reassured. He held his gun harder than normal. Hell at this point I was holding my pistol holster quite hard myself. The pod was going pretty fast now and the worm hole was getting closer. Reality seemed to bend and everything went blurry.

I got nauseous and blacked out.

Landing mildly successful.

“Alex! Wake up Despierta hermano” I faintly heard Jose. My vision slowly came back to me.

“Ugh my damn head. Jose did we make it?” I asked rubbing my temples. He looked down.

“We crashed. The pod hit some sort of turbupants and bang we go down like potluck español on Sunday” Jose said.

“Turbupants? Don’t you mean turbulence? Wait how the Santería

do you get turbulence in space? Unless…” I pressed the eject button on our pod. The door opened and launched me and Jose out the pod. We face plant into the dirt, but quickly stand up and pose just in case someone was looking.

“Hmm. We are on a foreign alien planet… Jesus I’m going to be rich.” I turn to check out my surroundings. We were in a jungle or forest. Jose interrupted my thoughts.

“Alex look around us dude. The worm beat us to the burrito.” Jose said. He was right though. The worm was obviously here. There was a trail of broken trees and drag marks against the soil. That was something interesting.

“So by the looks of the wreckage. The worm is in stage maybe two or three. So we still have time to kill it before it does any real damage. Follow that worm!” I said pointing my Acid Blasta at the direction of the wreckage.  We soon began our trek.