A King for a Day

by Nuclear Slime

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Human, Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other
Length: 3807

A human gets to become a king for a day. It doesn't end well.

For F**K THIS PROMPT #2

Nobody Special, the only human in Equestria, gets to feel how it is to be the ruler of the country in one day but it doesn't end that well.

Published 2015-04-12 18:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-12 18:50:01 UTC

The Day Everything Changed. *Edit*

The Day Everything Changed. *Edit*

It was a beautiful morning in Canterlot. The sun was shining, the birds were singing and the ponies were happy because today was a special day. Today was “Ruler for a Day Lottery”. Each year, Celestia would pull out a name from a bowl and that pony would rule for one day, to feel how it was to be a ruler. There was a big crowd of ponies in front of the castle and in the middle of the crowd was I. My name is Nobody Special but that's not my real name, no that would be stupid, I just have this fake name so I can blend in with the ponies. But being the only human here makes it kinda hard.

Suddenly everypony went quiet as Princess Celestia and Luna came on the stage. “Greetings my little ponies. Today is a very special day. Today one of you will become a ruler for a day.” The crowd cheered and Celestia raised her hoof to quiet them down. “You all have written your names on a piece of paper and dropped it into this bowl. “ She pointed at a glass bowl next to her. “And now I will draw the lucky pony’s name.” The tension was high as Celestia used her magic to shake the glass bowl and then drew a piece of paper. “And that name is...Nobody Special?”

The crowd sighed sadly as I jumped in joy. “Yes!” I ran up to the stage, standing next to Celestia, still really happy.

Celestia looked at me for a couple of seconds. “So I take it that you won, Nobody Special?”
“Yes!” I yelled out.

“Well then, by the rules you will become Equestria’s leader for one day. You will begin tomorrow morning and finish when the sun goes down.”

“Woo hoo!” I then ran down from the stage, through the crowd and onto the streets.
Luna looked at her sister worriedly. “Do you think he can do it?”

Celestia gave her a smile. “Well he hasn’t been on the best terms with us but I think he will manage. What’s the worst thing that could happen?”

I was strutting through the city. I was so happy. Today I would be a ruler. Well it was just for one day, but whatever. As I walked to the castle I saw some guards and thought that I would wave at them, but they had other plans.

“Halt. What are you doing here?”

I was confused. Didn’t the Princesses tell the guards that I was going to own their flanks today or what? I cleared my throat. “I am the winner of the “Ruler for a Day Lottery” and I’m here to be the new ruler for today.”

“As if a monkey like you would actually win.”

“Hey!” Okay now he made me mad. “Who are you calling a monkey, you mule.”

“Okay that’s it.” He pointed his spear at me. “Leave or I will use force.”

“Oh yeah?” I took a stand and put my knuckles up. “Come at me then.”

“What is going on here?”

We both looked at who just spoke and that was Princess Celestia with Luna beside her. The guard saluted. “Princess, this monkey tried to break into the castle and said he was the winner of the lottery.”

“Well, he is.” Luna said.

“Pardon?”

“He is Nobody Special, the guy that won the lottery.”

Suddenly his face turned pale and got sweaty. “Oh, excuse me then my lord.” He said and bowed.

Wow. This was the first time someone bowed down to me. I felt like a real ruler. A ruler who could take over forever. But my fantasies were interrupted when Celestia started to talk.
“Come, we will guide you to the throne room.” They walked back inside and I followed. The interior of the castle was pretty neat. I had never been inside of the castle before so seeing its interior was something. We walked for a bit until she stopped in front of some big doors. “Very well, here is the throne room. From here on out you will be charge while me and Luna will be gone. We will return when the sun is down. Do you understand?”

I gave a nod. “Of course.”

“Well then, we shall be going” Both royal sisters turned around and started to go but Celestia turned back. “Oh and one more thing, don’t try to start any wars or there will be trouble.”

I gave a salute. “Understood.” After that, they left. I turned to the big doors and opened them. Inside was a long hallway with big colored windows and at the end of it was the throne. I couldn’t help but giggle a little. I walked to the throne and next to it were two guards.

“Good morning your majesty.” They both said and bowed down.

“Sup?”

They were taken aback a little when they heard me answer them like that. The guards at least got back up so that’s that. “So are you ready?” One of them asked.
“Ready to rule? Heck yes I am.”

The guards looked at each other and then back to me. “Yes that, but also the Day Court.”
“The what now?”

“The Day Court. It’s when you take two hours of your morning to help other ponies problems.”
Help other ponies? And here I thought I would just sit on my ass and give orders.

“Well of course I am but before that, I think I need something more appropriate. Wait here.” I walked away from two confused guards and out of the throne room. As this was a castle, I had a hunch that some royal clothing would be around here. I opened every door I could find but I couldn’t find what I was looking for, until I found a door with a crown on it. I opened it and there it was. “Bingo.”

“So what do you think he is getting?” The guard said to the other guard.

“I don’t know, maybe something to drink?”

They then flinched when I kicked the doors open. I walked in and the jaws on the guards dropped to the floor. I walked in with a golden crown that had jewels on it and red silk cape that came down to the floor. “So, what do you guys think of my new look?”

They were still surprised but one managed to talk. “T-t-that’s the-”

I interrupted him because I knew what he was going to say. “The most awesome outfit ever?
Couldn’t agree more.” I walked to the throne and sat down. “Let get this started then.”

The two guards looked at each other again and shook their heads. One of the guards started to talk. “Alright then, bring in the first petitioner.”

The doors opened and in walked a green stallion with a light-ish yellow mane and tail. He bowed and stood back up again. “Your majesty, I need your help.”

“Well that’s why I’m here. So why are you here?”

“Well the thing is that…”

I couldn’t stand it anymore. This pony has been complaining about his neighbors for almost two hours. How can someone even manage that.

“...and they don’t smell that good.” He ended. “So what is your solution your majesty?”

I couldn’t answer. I was so brain dead after his rant that I couldn’t answer. Even the guards looked a bit out of it.

The pony looked at me with a confused look on his face. “Your majesty?”

I finally snapped out of it and looked at him. “Huh?”

“What should I do?”

I waved my hand around. “I don’t know, maybe you could move or something.”

“But didn’t you just hear me say that I just moved into this house?”

Okay, I can’t take this anymore. I looked at my wrist. “Oh, look at that, the Day Court has ended. I have to ask you to leave.”

“But your majesty, what about-”

I cut him off. “Guards, please show this pony out.”

One of the guards walked to the pony. “Okay, let’s get moving.”

“But-” He tried to say something again but the guard shoved him so he would move.

I sighed. “Wow, that was horrible.” I looked at the other guard. “Is it always like this?”

“Not always, but sometimes some ponies can be a hoofful.”

I sighed again. “So what now?”

“Well, there is supposed to be a meeting right now to rewrite some laws, but you don’t have to go there.”

I was thinking for a moment. If I was the ruler I could probably change a few laws, maybe even...I got an evil smirk on my face. “No, I can go.”

The guard looked a bit confused. “Really?”

I jumped off the throne. “Yeah, just tell the cooks to make some pancakes and take them to me so that I can eat after I’m done.”

“Okay then, Iron Spear, take his majesty to the meeting room.”

The guard that took away that annoying pony, now known as Iron Spear, nodded. “Follow me, your majesty.”

I did as he said and followed him. We walked for a bit and we stopped in front of a door.
“This the place?” Iron Spear gave a nod. “Well then, wait here, I will be in there for just a few moments.” I then opened the door to the meeting room. Inside sat a few ponies. Some were unicorns others were pegasi and earth ponies. They looked at me when I walked in. “Hello, I’m the new ruler here and I’m here to help.”

All of the ponies looked at each other and then one of them spoke up. “Help with what?”

“With the laws of course.” I looked at the table and there were some stacks of paper. “Are these the laws?”

“Yes, but-” I cut off whoever was talking.

“No it’s fine.” I took the stacks of paper and looked through them. ‘Come on the law must be here some-Aha I found it!’ I held a paper with the laws of the “Ruler of a Day Lottery”. I took a quill, some ink and started to write. “From here on out, Nobody Special will be the ruler of Equestria forever.”

When I said that out loud the ponies gasped. “But you can’t do that.”

I looked at the pony who just said that. “Are you talking against your ruler?”

The pony started to sweat. “N-no.”

“Well then, by the power of me, this new law is now official.” I then slammed down the paper on the table. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I got some pancakes to eat.” I turned around and walked out of the room. When I got outside I saw Iron Spear where I left him. “Hey Iron Spear, do you know any interior designers?”

“Well, one of my friends does. Why are you asking?”

“Well now that the Princesses won’t live here anymore, I thought that I could merge their rooms into one big room. Their rooms are close to each others right?”

“Yes, but what do you mean not living here anymore?”

I just waved my hand. “You will know tomorrow. Anyways can you tell your friend to come to the castle in exactly ten minutes?”

“...Sure, I’ll do that.”

“Good. I’ll be going to the dining room for my pancakes. See you later.” I then left him for the pancakes.

I was sitting in the dining hall. I had a really long table with a lot of chairs and one of them was bigger than the others. That was the one I chose as I thought it was the royal dinner chair. I sat there, waiting for my pancakes, until I heard the door open. In walked one of the pony maids. She was cream colored with a brown mane and tail. She had a silver plate with a silver lid on her head. She put it on the table in front of me. “Thank you.” I took off the lid and there was a stack of pancakes. The pancakes smelled delicious.

“Enjoy your meal.” She bowed down and was about to leave but I stopped her.

“Could you stay here with me?”

She turned around and looked at me. “What?”

I rolled my thumbs. “I don’t like to eat alone. It would be nice if you could stay here with me.” She just stood there. Probably sinking in that her new ruler wanted to have her there when he eats. She walked slowly towards me and sat besides me. “Thank you.” I then took a bite of one of the pancakes. These cooks really know what they are doing. “So what’s your name?”

She looked at me confused. “What?”

“What’s your name?”

“My name? It’s Tea Cup.”

I looked at her flank and her Cutie Mark was indeed a tea cup. “So it seems. So, Tea Cup, how long have you been working here?”

“Three years.”

I gave a nod. “That’s a long time. Why did you want to become a maid?”

“Well, before I was a waitress at a diner but I didn’t like it there so I thought that maybe I could use my talent to help the Princesses.”

“Do you enjoy your job?”

“Well of course I do. If I didn’t, I would have quit long ago.”

“Seems logical.” There was a bit of a silence while I ate my pancakes and I didn’t like it. “So wanna be friends?”

She looked at me confused again. “What?” She says that a lot.

“Well I don’t have any friends here in Equestria and now that I’m going to rule it forever, I would like a friend.”

“Forever?”

I ignored her question and looked at her. “So what do you say? Not as a ruler but as a person, pony, whatever.”

She just looked at me. She stared at me for a long time and it started to creep me out a little. I was going to say something but she said something first. “Sure.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, why not. Sounds like it could be a lot of fun.”

I smiled a big grin and gave her a hug. “Thank you. You will not regret it.” She was taken back by the hug but I didn’t really care. I let go of her and looked at her. “I will just finish my pancakes and then we can get out of here.” She nodded and I continued to eat my pancakes.

Me and Tea Cup had been walking for a bit in the castle and chatting the whole time. Stuff we did in the past and such.

“And it did turn out that it really hurt.”

She laughed at that. “Wow, didn’t know it hurt so bad.”

“Yeah, last time I’m going to a wedding.”

We walked a bit more until Iron Spear came running at us. “Your majesty, the friend I was talking about his here with his team.”

“Excellent. Take me to them.”

“Right, this way.” Iron Spear then led me and Tea Cup to his friend.

Tea Cup looked at me. “What’s going on?”

“Oh just some re-designing of the castle.” We walked to the entry hall and saw a group of ponies. A yellow unicorn stallion with orange mane and tail walked up to me. “So I take it your Iron Spear’s friend, mister…”

“Steel Hammer.”

“Okay then what I want you and your team is to make Celestia’s and Luna’s rooms into one big one.”

“Okay.”

“And then I want you guys to make the room into a bar and a strip club.”

Everything went quiet. Steel Hammer looked at me like I was some weird mad man. “Sorry what?”

“You heard me. A bar and a strip club. I want it done by sundown. Got it?”

Steel Hammer looked at his team and they just shrugged. He then looked at me again. “Okay, we will do it.”

I clapped my hands. “Great, get started.” The groups walked past us and towards the rooms. I was going to go away but a pony with a chefs hat came to me. I looked at him. “What is it?”

He bowed down. “Your majesty, me and the other chefs were baking a cake for this festival that’s going to be tomorrow and we would like to know how to make it for you.” I gave a nod. “So how do you want it?”

I started to think. I’m not good at baking or remembering. “Use all of the eggs.”

“All of the eggs?”

“Yes and all the flour, milk, sugar and other cake stuff.”

“All of it?”

“Yes all of it.”

The chefs pony just looked at me for a few seconds and then nodded. “Alright then.” He then walked back to the kitchen.

“Well that was fun.” I looked back at Tea Cup. “Shall we continue?”

“Actually, I need to get back to work but we can talk some more before sundown.”

“Okay, meet you in the throne room.” I waved her goodbye as she walked away. I leaned on the wall and just looked at her walking off. “Man, she is so nice. Wish I could’ve met her a bit earlier. As I was leaning on the wall, a brick was being shoved into the wall. I looked at the brick and suddenly a secret doorway appeared. I looked inside and there were some stairs going downwards. It was dark and it smelled funny but I didn’t care. I walked down the stairs for a while and when it ended, I was in a lit room and what I saw was amazing. On a small pillar was two glowing crystal balls. One was red and the other one was blue. I grabbed both of them and I felt something inside me. I knew these were something powerful. “I have to show these to Tea Cup.

“Wow.”

“I know right, aren’t they awesome?”

“Yeah. They look so magical and powerful.”

“Well of course they are! But enough about my testicals, look at these.” I then took forth the crystal balls.

Tea Cup took her eyes away from my crotch and looked at the crystal balls. “So these are crystal balls you were talking about?”

I closed my zipper so my junk wouldn’t be out anymore and gave a nod. “Yeah. I think they are magical or something. They feel powerful.”

“Where did you find them?”

“In a secret room under the castle.”

“I wonder why the Princesses would keep these hidden.”

“Who care, they are mine now.” There was then a knock on the throne doors. “Come in.” In walked Steel Hammer and his crew. “Are you guys done?”

“Yeah we are all done. That will be sixteen thousand bits”

I blinked. “How much?”

“Sixteen thousand bits.”

I blinked again. “Sorry but I’m broke.”

“Wait, you made us build all of it and not going to pay us?”

I thought for a moment. “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

“You can’t do that!”

“Guards!” A couple of guards walked inside. “Please take these guys out of the castle”

One of the guards looked at Steel Hammer and his crew. “You heard his majesty, move!”

As the guards then proceed to shove the group out of the throne room and Tea Cup looked at me. “Couldn’t you have paid them with the money in the castle vault?”

“Nah, nobody paid me when I helped them so why should I pay them?”

“But you could at least-” She was cut off by an explosion and in ran the chef pony from before.

“What’s the problem now?”

“The oven exploded and now the kitchen is on fire!”

I put my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. “So?”

“So!? We need some help.”

I sighed a big sigh. “And what am I going to do about it?”

“Well we need all the help we can get.”

I looked at Tea Cup. “Can you take care of this? I think I have to take a nap.”

Tea Cup nodded. “Got it.” She walked out of the throne room with the chef pony.
I looked out of one of the windows and saw that the moon had just risen. It has been a long day and I was going to get some sleep some sleep but the doors flew open and in came the former Princesses, Celestia and Luna.

“Nobody Special!” Luna yelled at me. “What have you done and why are you wearing our father’s crown and cape?”

“Your father’s? That explains the family photo next to the crown.”

“I ask you again, have you done?” Luna yelled again.

“What do you mean?”

“Well for one, the kitchen is on fire and second, the maids has been talking about that you are the new ruler, permanently.” Celestia answered.

“Well you see, I may have changed the rules of the “Ruler for a Day Lottery” to make me the permanent ruler, forever.”

“But you can’t do that.” Celestia scolded.

“Yeah, but I’ve already done that.”

Celestia and Luna looked at each others then at me. “Then we have no other choice to overthrow you.”

I smirked and stood up. “Just try.” I then took fourth the two crystal balls I had behind my back.

Both sisters gasped when I showed them the balls. “How did you find them?” Luna asked.

“Like I would tell you two. Now be prepared to be defeated.” I walked towards them as the crystal balls started to sparkle red and blue. Celestia and Luna lit their horns with magic to defend themselves but as my luck would have it, I tripped on my cape and fell on my face. When I looked up I saw the crystal balls on the floor, in pieces. “No no no no!” I tried to grab the shared but some weird smoke from the balls made me cough as I inhaled it.

Celestia grabbed me with her magic and took off the crown and the cape. “I think you have done enough damage for today.” She then walked to the entrance door and threw me out. She then closed the door behind me as I landed on my butt.

I stood up and brushed off some of the dirt. “I should’ve listen to The Incredibles movie. Capes only causes damage.” I then walked off.

“Celestia?” Luna asked.

“Yes Luna.”

“We should’ve done more than just kick him out.”

“I agree” Celestia said as both of them stood in their old rooms that now was one big bar and strip club.

Author's Note

I hope you guys liked it. I will maybe start writing again.

All my thanks too Flyerton, who took his time to edit my story