“MONADO BUSTER!!!!!”

Shulk grit his teeth as he raised his Monado by his side.

The Monado Buster. Designed to be used against Mechons- large, mechanical beings- its long range could easily slash through not only Shulk, but the ponies as well.

How do I counter myself?

An interesting thought. Not a pleasant one, for sure.

The Doppelganger Shulk leapt forward as he brought his blade down. Shulk did not even need a vision to see what would happen next… or at least, that was what he thought.

In a vision, he saw his doppelganger’s attack blowing up the entire planet.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! I HAVE TO STOP THIS ONE!

With a sudden boost of fervor, Shulk gathered all of his strength as he quickly hit the clone himself rather than the gigantic blade his enemy held onto. Picking himself off of the air, Shulk exclaimed “Air Slash!” as he slashed at the hostile Shulk twice before he landed. Much to his relief, the Monado his enemy held onto flew out of range, and the Monado Buster deactivated as it vanished.

Shulk pointed the Monado at his doppelganger as he shouted, “Stop fighting! I don’t know what you are, but you’re trying to hurt sentient beings. I cannot allow you to-“

“The Monado!” His doppelganger interrupted rudely as he began to look around. “Where is it?!”

“It’s no use! Don’t try anything strange.”

“MONADO’S POWER! MONADO’S POWER, WHERE ARE YOU?!”

Shulk blinked as the Shulk clone began to teabag the ground as furiously as possible. Then, it suddenly stopped its proudly perverse motions as it took out a picture of Shrek and put it on the ground, teabagging it with a speed that outmatched any other Halo player among all universes.

Standing up with an innocent smile, the “Doppel Shulk” pumped a fist as he cried,

“I’m really feeling it!”

The wielder of the Monado felt like gouging his eyes out with Reyn’s armpits.

Finally, Twilight decided to stand up for her friends. She did believe that the Shulk who stood closest to them had good intentions, but she also did not want to be cast aside as somepony who could not stand for herself. After all, her friends were in danger.

“Whoever you are,” she said loudly at the Shulk clone, “we do not wish you harm! So please, do not fear us. We can get along!”

Shulk thought about her words, only to disagree internally. As much as I want to be optimistic, this guy is a nutcase, he thought with certainty.

And he was right on point.

The Shulk clone suddenly leapt over to Twilight, startling everyone- and pony- facing him. Landing on his feet, the Doppelganger Shulk abruptly grabbed Twilight’s horn and started rubbing it furiously.

“…?!!!?!??! W-W-W-W-WHA- HUNYA?!”

Judging by Twilight’s flustered reaction, Shulk himself concluded that what his own clone did to her was the equivalent of fondling a female Homs’ breasts like an air horn.

The author of the story suddenly lost control, and the Doppelganger Shulk suddenly turned to look at you, putting up a thumbs-up as he continued to rub Twilight’s horn. As the purple unicorn grew faint, he winked, staring directly into your eyes as he exclaimed,

“I’m really feeling it!”

Shulk attempted to punch his doppelganger away from the poor unicorn, intent on avoiding the usage of his Monado to see as little bloodshed as possible. The clone, however, suddenly rolled under Twilight, leaving behind a purple unicorn with a red face and an absolutely confused expression.

The wielder of the Monado did not even want to think about what was going through the exotic creature’s head.

Rarity’s eyes widened as she felt her delicate horn go through the same treatment. Such forwardness! Such boldness! Such… arrogance! She felt anger rise within her somewhat pompous spirit, but all emotions of explicit anger faded when the Shulk clone looked into her eyes with his own. He softly touched the white unicorn’s beautiful, purple mane as the Element of Generosity felt her heart melt…

…before the Shulk clone turned to you again as he put up a thumbs-up, winking as he proclaimed,

“I’m really feeling it!”

At last, Shulk tried to punch his clone yet again, only to have the alternate Monado Boy roll away. Rainbow Dash flew up by Shulk’s side, glaring at the doppelganger as she roared,

“What’s your problem? Why’re you touching my friends’ horns as if you’re playing with Cup Stacks?! You creep!”

Though Shulk felt confused, wondering whether he should agree with her or berate her for indirectly insulting him, he knew that his situation was no laughing matter. This Shulk that acted strangely just attempted to destroy life for literally no reason; in a sense, the Shulk doppelganger was acting worse than Metal Face!

“Fun time’s over,” the blonde swordsman said as he walked up to his carbon copy. “You and I are going to stop disturbing the life that exists on this world, and we’re going to try find a way out. It’ll be good for both you and me-“

“Hey!”

Startled by his doppelganger’s interjection, Shulk blinked as he watched his clone take a few steps towards him before asking,

“Where’s the restroom?”

...

“…Uh… restroom?” Pinkie Pie broke the silence with her usual curiosity. “Is that a room where you rest in peace?”

“…In this mean fellow’s case,” Applejack, who seemed to recover a bit from the Shulk clone’s assault, “it’d be a room where he could rest in pieces.”

Twilight opened her mouth to speak, only to have Shulk jump the gun first.

“I don’t think there are any restrooms out here,” he said calmly.

He was met by laughter that emitted straight out of his carbon copy. Shrugging while rolling his head with a flexibility that made Garry’s Mod ragdolls look like adorable puppies, the Doppelganger Shulk said with an unusually loud, yet calm tone,

“Man, what a buncha jokers!”

“…H-Huh?”

Shulk blinked as he saw his own clone take something out of a jacket pocket. It was then that he realized something terrifyingly wrong.

His own doppelganger took out a one-man restroom stall and put it on the ground, entering the tiny structure and closing its door shut.

And much to his horror, a fume of gas blew out of the restroom stall, tainting the fresh air with an abnormal… disturbance.

“EWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! THAT’S JUST GROSS!” Rainbow Dash screamed as she covered her nose as quickly as she could.

Twilight looked as if she were about to barf, Rarity prepared herself for an imminent “fainting session,” and Pinkie Pie’s once-puffy hair turned straight, a frown etching her usually happy expression. Applejack merely cringed at the smell, while Fluttershy was nowhere to be seen.

As for Shulk?

Shulk screamed internally.

What was worse was the fact that the chaos did not end there. Suddenly, the restroom stall blew up, revealing Shulk’s doppelganger sitting on a toilet mounted with two Monado-shaped jetpacks. The toilet itself was painted with a decal of Hatsune Miku, revealing the vast and mighty knowledge of the Shulk clone. This clone knew of Miku, a thing that Shulk himself did not even know would exist in the first place.

With a smug grin, the Shulk grin shrugged, shaking his head, as he proudly proclaimed, “NOW IT’S SHULK TIME!” The Monado Boy slammed a clenched fist on the side of his toilet seat, pressing a red button that had a white label that read “Come On And Slam.”

Suddenly, the Shulk doppelganger flew to the skies with extreme speed, exiting the planet that Equestria lay on. As soon as he found himself in dark space, the Shulk leapt off of the toilet, which exploded as soon as he spiraled towards the planet beneath him. The Monado Boy began to form a ball of light in his hands.

“By the power of Dunk,” he whispered before roaring,

“SLAM ATTACK!”

Pointing at the planet filled with harmony and life, Shulk shouted in space,

“BARKLEY! JORDAN! LET’S GOOO!!!”

Heeding to Space Shulk’s call, Charles Barkley burst out of Celestia’s sun, spiraling towards where Shulk was headed as seven basketballs spun around his magnificent basketball uniform. Meanwhile, Michael Jordon flew out from the Dark Side of Luna’s moon, evading dozens of Decepticons lost on the star that attempted to bring down his awesomeness. He had basketballs swirling around him as well.

Uniting as a three-man fleet, the ball of light Space Shulk had been forming gained an orange hue on it, and it turned into the size of a basketball. With a power that can instantly end the planet, Space Shulk plummeted downwards, heading straight for Equestria. Charles Barkley and Michael Jordon formed their own orange orbs of light as they followed Space Shulk.

Meanwhile, Shulk, who stood next to the Elements of Harmony in confusion, got a vision.

After seeing what the future had in store for him, Shulk screamed out loud as he frantically began to think of a way to counter Space Shulk’s psychotic plan.

To save the ponies or to die in vain. He had to make the right decision or else all life could end due to a single mistake.

Meanwhile, Twilight seemed to snap.

A sudden turn of tides! Did Twilight catch the T-Virus?! Why the fuck is Reyn taking a shower?!

Find out in:

Xenobraid Ponycles: Slamado Arts of the Shulk Time!

Author's Note