Fangs

by punker1234567

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Discord, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, Original Character
Length: 2862

Vamponies are taking over Ponyville. This is what ensues.

A brony gets sent to Ponyville by Discord, but there's a problem. It's not the Ponyville he knew and loved. It's a Ponyville where there are vamponies roaming around, willing to kill whoever, whenever. Will he survive and be able to find a cure or become a minion to the horde of vamponies.

Published 2012-05-31 02:04:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-31 21:12:13 UTC

Ch. 1

Well, this sucks. I think I'm going to get to the place of my dreams just to nearly get my blood drained out of me. Oh, sorry, I should probably introduce myself. I'm Kris. Kris Helm, to be precise. Anyway, I'll start from the beginning. I was walking along in Pittsburgh, looking for the mall, when I notice some guy with a goofy grin following me. He's not doing anything, just following me. Just as I'm about to get to the mall, he walks right in front of my and gets in my face.

"Hello!" He said to me happily, a bit too happily. "Looking at your hat, I can guess you're a brony?"

"...yeah, why?" He noticed my custom Rarity hat. It was nothing special, it just had the cutie mark of Rarity, white top, blue brim.

"Well, what if I told you I was Discord, and I want you to go to Ponyville?" He got a mischeiveous grin on his face, and I was beaming with joy, but also a bit suspicious.

"...prove it." I said with a smug grin, thinking that no one could possibly be Discord. Especially seeing how this was the real world, not one the Lauren Faust created. Oh boy, was I wrong. Without any warning, he just punted me into the sky like a football, and, unfortunetly, I was screaming like a little girl the whole way. All of a sudden, as I'm hurdling through space, I stop and wonder, "How am I not dead? How did I just get punted? What's going on?!" Then it hit me. "Oh yeah...Discord...makes sense." Discord, in his actual form, flew beside me.

"Well," Discord started, "I'll answer all of your questions! After all, it's a long way from your world to Ponyville." He was actually taking me? I was excited, but cautious. "Anyway, I'll start with your first question. 'How am I not dead?' Well, there's a bubble of super strong c-"

"Chocolate milk?" I said, know that he loves that stuff for some reason.

"Looks like you really are a brony." He laughed his usual chaotic laugh. "Anyway, it's a little mixture I made of it myself. It's basically impenetrable unless I make it break."

"Well, isn't that neat?" I leaned back, still hurdling through space, but I just got used to it by now. "I'm flying in space with Discord, the god of chaos, inside of an impenetrable chocolate milk bubble...is this for real, or am I extremely high right now?" Discord laughed again.

"Of course this is real! If it wasn't, could I do this?" He snapped his fingers and a feather started tickling me. I was laughing my ass off at this point.

"Okay, okay, I believe you, stop!" I couldn't stop laughing until he snapped his fingers again and the feather dissapeared. "Thank you."

"Okay, now for your next question, 'How did I get punted?' Well, I'm Discord, the god of chaos. Isn't it pretty much self-explanitory?"

"You make a good point." I said. He was the god of chaos after all.

"As for, 'What's going on?', you're going to Ponyville. Every brony's dream, right?"

"Yeah, it is...at least mine."

"Alright, well, we should be there in about 5 minutes. Well, what are you going to be there? A human or something from our universe?"

"Something from your universe. I think it would be kind of awkward to see me just strolling through Ponyville, not to mention all of the questions I'd get. Let me think..." I had no clue what I wanted to be, a unicorn, a pegasus, an earth pony, an alicorn, the possibilities were ridiculous!

"Choose well, because you only get one choice." Discord was looking at me, as if studying me. "Hmm...I think a nice blue-gray coat would work on you. With that...a bit of a messy mane. Short, but not too short. You can choose the colors."

"Well, why not blue and gray? Just to match. Blue mane, gray edges, you know what I mean?"

"That'll work." Discord snapped his fingers and I could feel my body morph. I don't know how to describe it, have you ever had your foot go numb? Imagine that feeling on your entire body.

"Sweet! Now, what to be..." I thought long and hard about this choice. ~While it would be nice to fly, I think magic would be more useful and neat. Hmm...~

"Could I be an unicorn?" I looked back to Discord.

"Sure. Not a bad choice, but not as good as a draconequus." He got a little grin on his face. "Well, I guess it won't be too bad...just have fun...if you know what I mean..."

"...I beg your pardon?" I looked at him. Suddenly, I just seemed to poof onto a hill, in sight of Ponyville.

"Wow...this is going to be great!"

That's what I thought, until I actually saw what was happening...

(END OF CHAPTER 1)

Ch. 2

"Well, here we are!" Discord said with a smile, "Ponyville! So, what are you going to do now?"

"I have no fucking clue, man..." I looked around in amazement, looking at all of Ponyville and it's glory. But, I noticed something a bit off. No one was out and about. However, it was night after all. I turned back to Discord, but he decided it would be better to leave me on a hill next to Ponyville alone. With no knowledge or anything, just a brony with Ponyville. Well, I figured I would figure out everything in time, probably the dumbest mistake I made, and decided to roam into the town.

I walked into the town, noticing the night sky above me. The full moon was shining brightly upon the town, and I continued walking.

"Jeez," I said. "Is no one else ever out at night anymore?" I eventually got to the center of the town to notice a yellow pony crying. ~A pony crying? In Ponyville? Shit must be pretty bad.~ I went over to her to comfort her when she turned to face me. It was Fluttershy, and she looked at me and jumped with fright.

"Please...don't hurt me." She seemed to be trembling.

"Hurt you? Why would I do that?" I said with confusion. "Is someone else trying to?"

"...just...please don't...I just want to go home...." She stopped trembling, but still had fear in her eyes.

"Umm...do you need someone to help you?" I said. Gee, great first impression. She thinks I'm trying to hurt her. If that isn't a grade A impression, I don't know what is. "Anyway, I'm..." ~I never gave myself a pony name! What do I do?~ I looked at my flank to see that my cutie mark was a set of turntables, so I needed to think fast. "I'm Tech Jam...and you?"

"..." I knew she said something, but it was so quiet, I didn't hear a thing. I knew who she was, obviously, but I just played along.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" I just decided to play along.

"...fluttershy..." I still couldn't hear her, but I knew she was whispering it.

"Erm, Shutterfly?"

"...Fluttershy. I do have a cousin named Shutterfly, though." She looked back at me. "...will you...help me?"

"Is something wrong?" I looked at her, but then I noticed her leg. It was broken at the knee, the bone sticking out. There was blood all around the wound, and I was in shock. "Oh my...Celestia!" ~Did I really just say that?~ "We need to get you to a hospital!"

"...please?" She still had tears in her eyes. "I need help."

I didn't even say anything, I just picked her up onto my back, and started trotting towards the hospital...I think. I didn't have any clue where it was until I literally saw a sign saying Hospital with an arrow. I followed it towards the hospital to notice that there were actually a lot of ponies in the waiting room, some of which had...bite marks?

I went up to the nurse working there, and she immediately called a doctor and helped her onto a stretcher with me. She was rushed into an emergency room and I was forced to wait outside.

I waited outside of the emergency room for almost 6 hours until she was transferred into a regular room, and the doctor came up to me.

"Who are you? I know you brought her in, but I've never seen you in Ponyville. Are you new here?" He said to me, studying me with his eyes.

"Yep. Just got here last night, actually." I wasn't going to tell anyone I was a brony, seeing how that would bring up way to many questions. If it wasn't for Fluttershy's broken leg and keeping my identity safe, I would've been gushing with joy.

"Well, for your first day here, I'd say you're a hero. You just saved one of the Elements of Harmony." He smiled at me.

"Really? I did?" I played along, just to see how he'd congratulate me and just to keep looking like I really am new.

"Yep. Good job, kid." He patted my shoulder with his hoof, then walked away.

~Well, that was a bit disappointing, but still nice.~ I gave a little smile, and then walked towards where they took Fluttershy and I looked at the sign. It said, "VISITING HOURS: 10:00 A.M. - 8:00 P. M." I looked at a clock to see it was 6:00 A. M., so I decided I would go walk around town for a while.

Somehow, word got out about me helping Fluttershy, and people were treating me like I was a hero. Thank you's were thrown out left and right. I've been here for a day, a DAY, and somehow I'm famous. I was happy, but then I was ecstatic when the rest of the main 6 met with me at Sugarcube Corner.

I walked into Sugarcube Corner, everyone, or everypony, letting me get in front of them. I would've turned the down, but the smell of the fresh baked treats was too much to deny. At least I said thanks. Anyway, when I got to the front of the line, Mrs. Cake was working at the counter.

"Oh, are you that Tech colt I've been hearing about?" Mrs. Cake said in her usual, cheery voice.

"Yes, ma'am." I said back to her.

"Oh, Pinkie has been wanting to see you all day!" She went to the back and went to find Pinkie Pie and she immediately came back out. "She wants to see you in the back."

I was stifling a laugh because I just remembered what Discord said. ~If you know what I mean...dear lord, if that's what happens...~ I went into the back to see Pinkie Pie playing with Pound Cake while Pumpkin Cake was taking a nap, and she immediately bounded over to me and nearly pounced me.

"Oh my gosh, thank you so much for helping Fluttershy!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed in a happy tone. "I'm Pinkie Pie, and I'd like to welcome you to Ponyville!"

"Thanks, Pinkie. I'm T-" I got stopped by Pinkie.

"Tech Jam, I know! Everyone knows you now!"

~Gee, well, there goes the idea of keeping a low profile...oh well, I guess some fame will be nice.~ "Well, dang, I actually didn't think it was that big of a deal, but...thanks." I smiled at her, to see that she was rolling out a cart. All of a sudden, it opened up and music was playing and Pinkie started singing.

"Welcome, welcome, welcome! A fine welcome to you!"

"Welcome, welcome, welcome! I say, how do you do?"

"Welcome, welcome, welcome! I say, hip hip hooray!"

"Welcome, welcome, welcome to Ponyville today! Wait for it...!"

A cannon shot out confetti in the air and an oven opened with a cake in it. Pumpkin had woken up and was giggling with Pound Cake. "Hehe, thanks!" I smiled widely at Pinkie and she offered me the cake. So, I sat down with Pinkie Pie on the couch, listening to her stories and watching her crazy antics, loving every minute of it. It was nice...it was a dream come true.

Ch. 3

After listening to Pinkie talk about her adventures and what not, she just suddenly stopped. No warning, just stopped. After a moment, she looked at me. "Oops!" She said, a bit embarrassed. "I forgot, the others wanted to meet you!" She beamed at me again, like she always does.

"Umm...others? What do you mean by 'others'?" I looked at her with confusion, faking it all. I knew exactly who she was talking about, the other main 6.

"Yeah! My other bestest friends in Ponyville!" She bounced out of the room and through a door, so I decided to follow her. That was until I noticed something off about the town. The hospital was crowded with ponies, most of which were from bites. I still didn't understand it, what crazy ponies were just going around biting other ponies? Was there just a gang of crazy-ass ponies deciding that biting ponies is fun? Oh boy, how stupid I was.

Eventually, she led me to the hospital and into Fluttershy's room, where the others were standing around Fluttershy's hospital bed, looking at her in concern. She was in a good condition, they just seemed to be worried just beacause she was one of their closest friends. However, I did notice that she had a large cast on her knee, which she was somewhat able to bend so she could walk, but not run.

Pinkie Pie, as I assumed, was the one to introduce me to the others. Let me just say, I was trying extremely hard not to do something like say, "OH MY GOD IT'S THE FUCKING MAIN 6 I'M SO EXCITED JESUS FUCKING AWESOME SAUCE.", but I managed. Fluttershy looked at me and gave a weak smile.

"Oh...hello, Tech." said Fluttershy. "Thank you, again."

"It wasn't a big deal, really. Just trying to be helpful." I smiled a little bit back at her, still holding back a shit-load of excitement when I heard a familiar voice from behind me.

"Helpful and modest? I think this guy is a bit of a softy." It was Rainbow Dash. Somehow, I didn't even care that she teased me. Usually, I'm sensitive to that kind of stuff, but now, I just really didn't care.

"Well...yeah, I guess I am." I chuckled a little bit and took a seat on a chair. "Oh, sorry, I'm Tech Jam. What are your names?" ~I gotta play along with this whole thing. So far, so good.~

"Rainbow Dash." said...well, you know. Rainbow Dash.

"Applejack, nice to meet ya." Applejack tipped her hat towards me, and smiled.

"Nice to meet you too, Applejack." I smiled back at her.

"I'm Twilight Sparkle. Hey, just asking, are you new here? Or do you just keep to yourself?"

"Well, it's probably both, really. I usually don't talk to many ponies, I just stay inside and write. Or play music."

"The creative type? I think you and I are going to get along well!" I turned to see Rarity smile at me.

~OH SWEET JESUS RARITY WANTS TO BE MY FRIEND! THIS IS OFFICIALLY THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE! Wait...calm down, Kris...or Tech, as it is now.~ "Well, I hope so. It sucks not getting along with other ponies. Anyway, I-" I froze in my sentence when I heard a bloodcurdling scream come from another hospital room and a sudden *CHOMP*.

"Evacuate the hospital! There has been an outbreak! Evacuate the hospital!" The loudspeaker was blaring and an alarm started to ring. Before I knew it, ponies were rushing through the halls and other ponies were biting their necks. My first instinct was, 'Get Fluttershy on my back and run', so that's what I did. However, it wasn't myself who caused it. It was Twilight. She just used her magic to pick her up, put her on my back.

"Get her to her cottage!" Twilight exclaimed in my direction. "Just run!" Listening to the commands, I ran. As I ran down the halls, Fluttershy was holding her arms around my torso, hanging on for dear life. That is, until one of those crazy vampire ponies, or "vamponies" as I'm going to call them, pounced me and almost managed to bite me. I had to buck it off so hard it literally hit the wall with a solid *THUMP* and the wall had cracked. I got Fluttershy back on my back and continued to run off towards her cottage. ~Well, just great...~ I thought to myself, ~First day in Ponyville and I nearly get turned into a vampony. Terrific.~ I layed Fluttershy on her bed and sat next to her.

"...that's what I was running from last night." Fluttershy told me. "One of those things were chasing me, and I stumbled and fell on my leg." She looked at her leg, then back at me. "...what are those things?"

"I honestly don't know myself." I told her. Well, looks like this is going to be a lot worse than I thought.