Pinkie Ponders Proposing to a Pretty Purple Princess.
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Maybe it’s more like bungee jumping with a spaghetti noodle than walking through a match factory covered in gas.
Pinkie looked down at the tiny box in her hoof once more.
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Nope. It’s definitely more like being a cupcake at a weight loss retreat.
Pinkie's scale for nervousness was nothing if not diverse.
Shaky hooves? Check.
Inability to concentrate? Check.
Excessive sweating?
Pinkie sniffed herself thoroughly, making sure to cover every inch her nose could reach.
Ha! Dodged that one!
So maybe she didn't smell like a minotaur in a sauna. She was still nervous. Slowly, she opened the tiny box once more and stared at its contents in wonder. It took her months to earn enough bits to buy the ring sitting inside that box, the last of which had been a nonstop marathon of private parties so exhausting, she hadn't had any time for her friends. The polished gold reflected the light back in her eyes, nearly forcing her to look away... which she would have, were it not for the jewel that held her eye.
The jeweler called it amethyst. Pinkie didn't know what that meant. She knew it was purple, and she knew it was cut into the shape of a six pointed star. She also knew Twilight would absolutely love it.
Or she hoped Twilight would.
"Heya there, Pinkie! Whacha got there?"
Clop!
The southern drawl sent Pinkie into full panic mode. Faster than she could blink, Pinkie snapped the box shut and sat on it, hiding the precious jewel from view. "H-h-hey, Applejack! Fancy running into you here of all places!"
The cowpony removed her hat and scratched her head in confusion. "Ya mean Sugarcube Corner? You live here.”
And that's check for excessive sweating.
"Oh! I guess I do! So what are you doing here so bright and early?" Pinkie asked.
Applejack tossed her hat in the air and caught it with a flourish. "Just swinging by to pick up those apple cinnamon walnut muffins I left an order for."
Pinkie blinked in confusion. "Apple cinnamon walnut muffins? Uhhh, I don't think we made those. " The pink mare ducked beneath the counter and looked at the shelf. "Oh wait! They're right here," She said, placing the box on top of the counter. "Mrs. Cake must have made them earlier when I wasn't looking."
Breathing a sigh of relief, Applejack took the box and carefully slid it into her saddlebags. "Don't be trying to give me no coronary, pinks. If I showed up to the town hall meeting empty-hooved, they'd never let me forget it."
"Sorry, AJ didn’t mean to scare you," Pinkie said through a yawn.
"Wow, Pinks, I thought you were always a morning pony. It ain’t like you to be tired so early. Come to think of it, we haven't seen hide nor hair of you lately. Town's been pretty boring without your shindigs and all. You feeling alright, party girl?" Applejack asked.
Here comes the sweating again.
"I'm okay, I've just been busy and all. Ya know... helping the Cakes and stuff."
Applejack narrowed her eyes and her cordial smile narrowed into a thoughtful frown. "You might be able to get away with lying to Rainbow Dash or Fluttershy, but you sure as shootin' won't pull the wool over my eyes. What's going on?"
Letting her shoulders slump, Pinkie's smile vanished. "I've been throwing private parties everywhere I can trying to save up bits."
A solid hoof hit the counter, its owner looking irritated. "Now, Pinkie, you should know better than anypony that if you're having money troubles, you can always come to me. What are you needing money for anyhow?"
Applejack had never been one to betray Pinkie's trust, but the box she was sitting on was a secret beyond any she had ever trusted somepony to. Reluctantly, she pulled the box out and started to hoof it to Applejack. "You have to Pinkie Promise not to tell any living or dead pony, dragon, bird, or anything else! Got it?"
Applejack seemed taken aback by the terseness in Pinkie's voice. "I Pinkie Promise."
Pinkie jerked the box away protectively. "And no funny business like back in Dodge Junction, got it?"
Applejack nodded solemnly and gently took the box Pinkie hoofed to her. She opened it and nearly dropped it in shock. "Pinkie! Is this-" A pink hoof pushed itself against Applejack's lips.
"Yes it is. Unless you were asking if it was candy. Then it isn't."
Applejack gently pried the pink pony's hoof off her mouth and looked at the ring closely. "Gee, Pinkie, this ain't one of them cheap jewels Rarity digs up in our backyard. That's a bonafide deep-earth amethyst. Does this… mean you're finally gonna pop the question to Twilight?"
Pinkie nodded, taking the ring back from Applejack. "Yeah... but I'm so scared. I keep thinking there's no way she'll say yes."
Applejack stared at the saddened pony. "If that's the case, why'd you go through all the hardwork to buy a ring? You two make a great couple. Why in Equestria would she say no?"
Tucking the box away, Pinkie sighed. "Well, for starters, she's a princess. Me? I'm just a baker from a rock farm in the middle of nowhere."
Applejack shook her head. "Now, I thought you two were past all that nonsense by now. She loves you, and you love her. Does it really need to be more complicated than that?"
Pinkie's lips curled at the edges slowly. "Thanks, Applejack. I guess I've just got butterflies in my stomach, that's all," she said. Her face contorted and she hiccuped once. Pinkie and Applejack stared as a small creature flew out of her mouth and made for the lights on the ceiling.
"First off, that's a moth, not a butterfly. Second, Ah don't wanna know how it got in there," Applejack said, placing her stetson back on her head. "I'll catch you later, Pinkie. Good luck."
"Bye, Applejack," Pinkie called back in a subdued voice. It felt good for her to tell somepony, anypony about the ring which had been weighing so heavily on her heart. Unfortunately, she still had to actually give Twilight the ring.
Hmmm. I wonder where I should ask her.
Her mind raced as idea after idea hit her in rapid fire.
I could get myself arrested and give it to her when she bails me out.
Nah, too dangerous. She might vaporize the guards if they try to arrest me.
Looking out the shop's window she saw a couple sitting at a table at the cafe next door. They were holding each other’s hooves and between them on the table sat two empty plates.
That's it! Granny Pie always said a full stomach leads to a happy heart! I'll take her out to some fancy shmancy restaurant!
Pinkie shivered in joy at the mental image. She would be dressed in her tuxedo while Twilight beamed back at her in whatever she wanted to wear, because honestly, Pinkie didn't really care what Twilight wore. She simply loved to see Twilight's eyes dance and to hear the unicorn's sing-song voice.
Pinkie blinked in confusion realizing that her daydream had derailed.
Oh right. The dinner.
Pinkie would wait until Twilight gave her that super special smile and grip Pinkie's hoof, but when she did, Twilight would find that secret Pinkie had been holding on to. The alicorn would slowly flip open the box and the sheer brightness of the ring would force Twilight to look away.
"Oh, Pinkie Pie! It's beautiful!" The alicorn would exclaim.
Pinkie would lean over in her seat. "You like it?"
Twilight would giggle and put the ring on her horn. "Of course I do... but I am a princess now. There's no way I could marry a pony who thinks a trinket this cheap could win me over."
Twilight would put the ring back in the box and slide it over with a smug smile. "I hope you kept the receipt."
Pinkie shook her head and found herself back in Sugarcube Corner. "Ugh! Stupid Pinkie brain! It's called a daydream, not a daymare! It's supposed to be happy!"
Rising to her hooves, Pinkie poked her head into the kitchen. "Is it okay if I go out for a bit, Mrs. Cake?"
The motherly pony looked up from a fresh batch of cookies and smiled. "Why sure it is. It's been quiet all morning. I doubt we're in for a rush out of the blue."
"Thanks, Mrs. Cake!" Pinkie pulled her head back into the lobby and somersaulted over the counter. With but a few hoofsteps, she jumped out the front door, startling a passerby.
She barely had time to think as her eyes rested upon the pony consuming her thoughts.
"Twilight! Wait up!"
The purple pony stopped in tracks as Pinkie rushed toward her. "Oh... h-hey Pinkie Pie..." the alicorn stuttered out.
"Twilight.we need to talk tonight. I have something really super duper important to ask you," Pinkie said, leaning in really close.
At this, Twilight backed up slowly. "I'd like to talk, Pinkie, but I told the mayor I'd be at the meeting today and I'm running late. We'll talk later."
"Oh, all... right," Pinkie muttered at the retreating unicorn.
Hmmm. She seemed different. Maybe she's upset. Come to think of it, it's been awhile since we've gone out. I've missed being around her.
Pinkie pulled out the box once more and flicked it open.
It'll all be worth it once I give this to my Gumdrop. I should really stock up on party supplies again. You can never have too many balloons and streamers.
With a jaunty bounce, Pinkie froliced toward the party store.
"Thanks for the extra streamers, I’ll be back for more later!" Pinkie exclaimed as she walked out the party store. Looking at the sun hanging high above her head, she realized that several hours had passed.
"I almost missed lunch! I always get stuck on that hoop puzzle."
She turned back at the shop and waved her hoof angrily. "Darn you silver hoop puzzle! I'll solve you one day!"
Pinkie started back to Sugarcube Corner to get a bite to eat when Applejack walked by.
"Hey, Applejack! How did the meeting go?" She asked.
The farm pony removed her hat, revealing tired eyes. "I tell ya, I don't know why I keep coming back to these stupid things! It's more boring than listening to Rainbow Dash's 'stories' about a pegasus from a backwoods town becoming a Wonderbolt. Too bad I don't have a dentist appointment. I doubt I'd need any gas right now."
Crinkling her nose, Pinkie tilted her head at Applejack. "Gas? Is your tummy rumbling? I could get some medicine if you need it."
The farm pony shook her head. "That's not what I mean. I meant... ah, nevermind. What are you up to?"
Planting her rump on the ground, Pinkie rubbed her belly. "I'm starving! I haven't had anything since breakfast, so I'm heading back to Sugarcube Corner. Wanna come with?"
Applejack shook her head. "Nah. I'd love to, but Granny said she'd have something cooked up for us. You're welcome to come if you'd like. I asked Twilight, but she seemed like she was in a big hurry."
Pinkie's ears shot straight up. "Did you say Twilight? Where is she? I have to talk to her!"
Turning to her left, Applejack pointed her hoof at a nearby stall. "She's right over there."
Twilight looked up just in time to see Applejack's hoof pointed right at her, and Pinkie standing next to her. With a panicked shout, she tore off into a nearby alley.
"Twilight! Wait!" Pinkie screamed as she sped off in pursuit. Blazing a path through the same alley, Pinkie swiveled her head in every direction. She came to a screeching halt as the alley hit a dead end. Looking up and down and all around, she saw no trace of Twilight anywhere.
"Stupid alicorns! Teleporting is cheating!" She shouted stamping her hooves in frustration.
After a filling lunch of "every cupcake she could get her hooves on before getting an exasperated sigh from Mrs. Cake", Pinkie hid behind the library, waiting patiently for her plan to bear fruit.
Pinkie had vandalized a nearby cherry stand. Well, vandalized was a strong word. She had simply knocked an R off the sign so it now read “Fresh cher ies for sale!”. Fortunately for Pinkie, The owner hadn't noticed... but somepony else had. Twilight left the library, glancing in every direction like an escaped mental patient. Her hooves were shaking, causing her to nearly stumble and fall as she dashed for the sign. Placing the second R on the sign, the alicorn finally breathed a sigh of relief.
"There you are!"
Twilight had no time to react as a pink blur tackled her to the ground. "Pinkie! Get off!""
The pink pony shook her head. "Nuh uh! You've been avoiding me all day! We have to talk!"
Twilight struggled, trying to push Pinkie away. However, moving an earth pony that doesn’t want to move is nothing short of a miracle. "I don't have time to talk right now! Let me go!"
"That excuse won't work this time! We're not talking right now. We'll talk tonight at cafe alon! Got it?"
Twilight struggled harder. "Do you have reservations? If not it's impossible to get them now."
Doh! The reservations! I knew I was forgetting something
"I... I forgot." Tapping her chin for a moment, Pinkie's eyes lit up. "Fine! We'll meet tonight at The Hay Burger. I'll see you at eight, okay?"
Twilight sighed, her lips turned downward as she nodded. "Okay. You win. I'll be there."
Pinkie stood up, letting the alicorn go. As Twilight trudged off Pinkie looked at her curiously.
Why does she seem sad?
This is the worst date ever...
Wearing a tuxedo to a fast food restaurant would seem unusual to other ponies. Pinkie being Pinkie, nopony seemed to care... not that she'd notice their strange stares anyway. Her eyes were locked on the alicorn sitting on the other side of her. Normally when they went to The Hay Burger, Twilight would order and devour what many would consider, a Pinkie-like amount of food.
On this night, she nursed a small order of fries and a milkshake which she had only had a single sip from.
Pinkie sighed heavily and let her shoulders slump.
No smiles. No happiness. No reason to pull out the ring.
They hadn't even said so much as “hello” Since the night started. With a heavy heart, Pinkie finally spoke up.
"Twilight, I don't think this is working."
She had barely finished the sentence when the alicorn buried her head with her hooves on the table and burst into tears.
"T-Twilight! What's wrong?"
Twilight Sparkle, the pony who had stared down the meanest and strongest creatures in Equestria was now reduced to a sobbing mess.
"Wh-what's wrong? How can you ask that? You avoid us all for weeks without so much as a 'hi' or 'how are you?' and then drag me out to eat just so you can break up with me? I should think the answer is obvious!" she shouted, burying her face into her hooves once more.
Pinkie grabbed Twilight's head and gently pulled it up until they were eye to eye. "I'm not breaking up with you, Gumdrop."
Hearing her pet name, Twilight locked eyes with Pinkie. "But then... why have you been avoiding me?"
Pinkie sighed and she averted her gaze in shame. "It wasn't on purpose. It just sorta happened. I've been throwing private parties everywhere I can to try and earn bits. Every night when I got home, I was just so pooped I couldn't do much but pass out!"
Twilight cut her eyes as her lips formed a frown. "Are you having money problems? You should have told me! I have plenty of bits saved up!"
“I’m not having money problems. I just needed some for something very special.”
Twilight reached out and took Pinkie’s hoof. “Pinkie, what could be so special that you had to avoid us for so long? Are you alright?”
"I'm fine... better than fine. I just have something important to ask you. The most important thing I've ever had to ask somepony in my entire life."
Hopping up from her seat, Twilight put her hooves on the table, eyes flitting in desperation. "What is it?"
Snatching the box from her pocket, Pinkie walked over to Twilight's seat. "Twilight, I want to wake up everyday knowing you'll be there when I open my eyes. I want your voice to be the last I hear before I go to bed. I want to pass out listening to you talk about the stars and stuff you like talking about but I don't understand because I'm too busy thinking about frosting or how pretty your smile is."
Pinkie fell to one knee and pushed the open box toward the purple mare. "Twilight Sparkle, will you marry me?"
Pinkie was fairly sure even alicorns needed to breathe. After all, she had fallen asleep next to one countless times, which is why her future wife's apparent lack of respiration bothered her.
"Twilight? Twilight?"
The alicorn let out a high pitched, but quiet squeal which went on for several seconds before fading out completely.
"Uh oh. I think I broke her."
"Yes!"
Pinkie blinked rapidly, unsure she had heard her right. “Wait, what did you say?” She fell backwards onto the floor as the purple pony tackled her. The ring box soared through the air for a few feet
"Yes! You hear me? Yes! Of course yes! Absolutely yes! Definitely, positively, yes!"
A purple glow engulfed the ring box half a second before it hit the ground. Pinkie stared with a dumb smile as Twilight pulled the box back and looked at the ring inside like a precious treasure.
"Oh, Pinkie, it's beautiful! It's an amethyst.... and it looks like my cutie mark!"
Plucking the ring from the box, Twilight slowly slide it down on her horn until it fit snuggly in place, shining like a proud beacon to all who might see it that she was taken. "So that's why you had to raise money. This isn't a cheap topsoil gem. I can't believe you went through a whole month of private parties and work just to save up enough to buy it."
“Awww. For you, I’d do it for months! Years even!”
Twilight lowered her head to Pinkie's until nothing but a few centimeters separated their lips. "A month felt like eternity. We have a lot of catching up to do."
Feeling Twilight's lips press against her own, Pinkie went limp, allowing herself to become putty on the floor. As their tongues entwined and explored each others mouths, she gained her confidence back and wrapped her hooves around Twilight's svelte barrel. The self-doubt she had harbored, the pangs of loneliness, all of it disappeared into that loving moment where they lay entwined in each other's embrace.
So it was with great reluctance that they finally pulled apart to take in some much needed oxygen. Pinkie stared up at those beautiful shining eyes beaming down at her through half-lidded eyes. It had been so long since she could get lost in them, that she wanted nothing more than sit and smile back. That feeling quickly vanished when a startling revelation hit upon her.
"Uhhh, Twilight? Maybe we should find a more private place to cuddle," Pinkie said, gesturing toward the other patrons who found their antics more amusing than their food.
"Oh gosh! You're right! I'll gather our food, you go order more to take back to the library.," Twilight said, neatly depositing the earth pony at the front counter with her magic.
The pony behind the counter gave her a friendly wink. "Congratulations, you two. What can I get for you?"
Pinkie didn't even have to think before launching into the order. "Two large milkshakes, four orders of hay fries, and six double cheese hayburgers."
"Ten double cheese hayburgers!" Twilight called out from the table. Pinkie whirled around and looked at her with wide eyes.
"I'm huuungry," Twilight whined.
Pinkie turned back to the pony and smiled sheepishly. "Make it ten."
Between Pinkie and Twilight, not a single piece of their order survived their gluttonous feast. The only remaining evidence of their fast food binger were the wrappers strewn on the ground around Twilight's bed.
"How nostalgic."
"Huh?" Pinkie asked, intrigued by Twilight's statement.
"I was just thinking of the first time I fell for you," Twilight explained. "I spent a long time trying to understand you and your Pinkie sense, and in the end the lesson I learned was nothing to do with the question I was asking."
Pinkie leaned over and half buried her face into Twilight's fuzzy chest, "What do you mean?"
"Life, Pinkie. The whole time I was too busy asking how something worked, when I should have just experienced it. It's been quite a roller coaster, and I'm still not sure how we've gotten to the point of... marriage... but I don't care anymore."
Twilight grabbed Pinkie's head, pulling it gently until their eyes met. "I'm ready to stop asking why, and start spending my life with you."
Pinkie smiled for her. This was not just any smile. It didn't cover from one side of her face to the other. It didn't show any of her bright pearly white teeth either. It was a small, serene smile, and it was a smile for Twilight, and Twilight alone. With a contented sigh, she pressed her frizzy mane against Twilight's neck.
“Hey, Twilight?”
“Yeah, Pinkie?”
“Do bugs sweat?”
“...”
