Labeling Theoryby DWhayChaptersPrologue: My Little ExpositionLuna's RancorExplaining GamesPrologue: My Little ExpositionFirst, a word for all of you who flock to my stories for the sole sake of the clop value. Go away. This is NOT a clop fic. Clop is in here, but it is used as it should be and is not the sole purpose of this fiction. It is a work that tells the story of the Canterlot Servants. Sorry, but otherwise relocate yourself. If not, please, by all means, keep reading. It was the longest night of the year and Celestia was in her quarters, enjoying her time to relax and do nothing. She napped in her luxurious bed, dozing peacefully, her jewelry set to the side as to be more comfortable. She was content at that moment, something she very rarely was. She was usually swamped by work or the duties of being a leader, but at that moment she was completely at rest, the moon shining through her window and basking a fair portion of her turret suite in its silver glow. The furnishings were not unique or over-expensive, as this was her second bedroom; the one she used publicly and the one she slept in. The real room was far below the mountainside, stacked high with her own, far more personal, belongings. There was a room off to the side of her suite, however. It was below her quarters, a guest bedroom only for her most trusted friends. It was in this room that Twilight Sparkle was staying the night for a sleepover. The princess had invited her for a simple study escapade to the royal library that had ended in them retreating back to the castle. Rain and storms had set in on them in droves that night, forcing Twilight to stay for the evening. At first it had been a bit unsteady and awkward, even though they had known each other for years it was still rather formal. At long last it had been time to sleep and Celestia had gladly taken off her jewelry and went to bed. She was glad to be out of the tense atmosphere that her student presented. It is here that his tale of deception and realization began, in the room that started it all. The room that inspired Celestia to make the decision to get new servants after last month's 'accident' that had actually been a massive blunder of Luna's. She had been working on a magical project when she suddenly came to need a few willing participants. So, being of lower status, Luna performed a little test of her newest spell on them. Quite sadly, all of them perished in the aftermath of the botched spell. Celestia had been furious, but it was literally no use being angry now. The servants were dead and gone and being angry wasn't going to solve anything. So now Luna was straddling the fine, fine line of being on Celestia's list to banish. So the sun princess lay in her room, sleeping the night away, a luxury she hadn't been able to afford for 1,000 years. She had missed it, being able to escape into her own mind and not have to worry about duties or how her kingdom was fairing economically. She could just lie down, and relax. But sadly, the fair royal's sleep was about to be interrupted. The reason, certain little mortals sometimes get nightmares, and being innocent little mortals, they look for comfort. Celestia felt herself prodded in the side with a familiar hoof. The princess sighed in annoyance and opened her eyes, reluctant to release her hold on much needed sleep. At first she was confused, there was nopony there. Until a certain lavender mare appeared, startling the princess. "Princess, could I... um, sleep with you tonight? I had a bad dream and... well..." The goddess sighed; if anything this would only make the tension between them worse, considering the fact that she didn't want to touch the mare. She decided that she would politely send her back to bed, until she was stopped dead in her tracks. But what really, completely shocked her was that she was crying. This mare had been through a lot and she wasn't easy to upset. Most of the time she was level-headed and calm, but the unicorn looked terrified as she stared at her mentor, her huge purple eyes reflecting the moonlight perfectly. "Twilight..." She bit her lip, fumbling with the decision. "Fine. Stay on that side of the-" She was already curled against her side, face buried in her soft white fur. Her breath shook and wavered, the after effects of her sudden night terror. The princess wanted to pull away but... something stopped her. An instinct she didn't even know she possessed after 300 years. Her heartstrings twinged and a warm emotion choked the usually stoic leader. As much as she hated to admit it, she liked having her close. The lavender mare shivered against her, absorbing the larger alicorn's warmth. She didn't want to acknowledge her warmer feelings towards her student, but she could not deny she adored having her near. She was like a soft little doll. Admittedly, the princess had been quite lonely of late. It wasn't that she couldn't get somepony to court her; of course that wasn't the reason. The reason was the unfortunate schism between every living pony and herself. She was thousands of years old and had seen it all; she was more intelligent than anypony around her. She knew two things would happen if she attempted a relationship with anypony: they would either prove an idiot, or the stallion wouldn't be compatible. She wanted depth, sophistication, soulfulness, not a shallow, one sided, soulless git that would just make jokes and try to cover the fact he was dumber than a brick. She wanted a pony to push her, to get her to try new things and adventure. But everypony around her just seemed...impossible. Except her apprentice. Eager, adorable and quite innocent, Twilight was the defining picture of what she wanted in most males. She was gentle, but if the young unicorn grew weary she would wander off and get into some sort of trouble. She quite liked it. She was like the daughter she'd never had. She enjoyed caring for the unicorn when she would bother her friends or mess up on a spell. The princess adored her physically, and mentally she marveled at her innocent nature, despite all they had been through together. She made her laugh on more than one occasion, mostly due to her antics when it came to tackling new projects. She was smaller than her and weaker, but Celestia didn't mind at all. If anything she liked her even more because of it. The perfect description of the unicorn would be a doll, warm, soft and very easy to cuddle. As perfect as Twilight was, Celestia knew in the back of her head that the mare was her apprentice and that she was the mentor. It would be wildly improper for her to start any sort of relationship, be it platonic or otherwise. So the lonely princess sighed and closed her eyes yet again, trying desperately to not say anything. Her loneliness was crushing. Three hundred years of pure, agonizing romantic limbo. Twilight yawned, spreading her limbs in a massive stretch. Celestia's heart jerked at the sight; it was just so adorable. She bit her bottom lip and waited for the unicorn to fall back asleep. Once Twilight was fast asleep, the princess rolled out of her bed and strode over to the door, wanting desperately to crawl back under the covers and cuddle her student mercilessly. But the immortal disciplined herself and maintained her stiff composure. With the utmost of focus she strode out her door and down the hallway, wrapping a robe about her and tying the sash about her waist tightly. She didn't know quite where she was going, but it was better than staying in her room, risking the stability of her friendship. So the princess decided that she would do the thing she usually did when she was upset. Visit Luna. The immortal cantered down the dark halls, the moon shining brightly through the massive windows, casting long shadows on the walls. She looked at all of the rich decor and stunning chandeliers, the lack light creating a haunted sort of atmosphere. She could see cobwebs and dust settling on the furniture and doors rusting shut in areas. She sniffed and narrowed her eyes at the lack of care this place received. She was going to get new cleaners. Soon. Otherwise this section of the castle would become a home for mice and dust bunnies... perhaps other, more unsavory things such as the thieves that tried to get in on occasion. At long last, in the depths of this forgotten, dilapidated wing of the castle, she found the massive door leading to Luna's room. Celestia brought her hoof down on the solid iron knocker, sending a thundering echo through the halls, louder than war drums. It took six long minutes for the door to open, even then only a small slat appeared, from which cool blue eyes regarded the sun princess. "Sister." Luna said, her voice muffled by the door. "What doth thou require?" "I require you open the door." Luna narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Why?" "I need to talk to you about a personal matter. Please let me in?" The slat closed, followed by many mechanical and magical rattles and booms, ending in the massive, bulky door swinging open. The Empress of the Night gestured her sister in with her wing. Luna's quarters were more or less a dungeon. Dark curtains and sculptures of gargoyles and other, far more malevolent creatures were throughout the suite, leering at the two immortals with sightless eyes, their souls filled with cold malice and hate. Skulls were perched atop stands; blue-sapphire candles burned azure flames, hot wax dripping down into long dead eye sockets. Rugs designed in necromantic circles and hexes covered the cement floor, stained in the blood of animals that met their slow ends by Luna's hooves. Celestia knew exactly why she didn't come in there often. It reminded her of a crypt. The entire room smelled of sulfur and decay. The princess began to pull in breaths through her mouth, hoping to avoid the awful stench. Luna strode over to her bed and leapt up onto the pale blue sheets, regarding her older sibling with all the warmth of the Arctic Ocean. "Now, what did you want, sister?" The sun princess took in a deep breathe; Luna wasn't the pony to explain more sentimental emotions to. "I was just in my room with Twilight Sparkle and... she wanted to sleep in my bed with me. She had a nightmare and she looked so scared I decided it would be okay. The next thing I knew, she was against me and I felt... something. I don't know what happened. I hadn't felt that way in over three-hundred years. It was that same warm, soft emotion as last time. I don't know if I should pursue it, though." "And so you came to me for advice?" Luna guffawed, falling backwards on her bed in mirth. "I say, sister, you should go to Cadence or your nearest guard captain for a little advice in that area." "Please take this seriously, sister. I can't make up my mind." Luna was still laughing her flank off. "Hah! Look at my sister, my older, wiser sister. Yet she falls victim to the same ridiculous sentiments that dominate lesser ponies. How comical. Say, if you really need a pony to care for you, why not just get another servant and beg them for a little romance? It seems a solution and for you there are no strings attached, you can simply wipe their memory and leave them on the side of a street." "Sister, please!" Celestia yelled. "I would never toy with a pony's emotions! This is very serious. I don't know what to do and if I try to pursue a relationship with Twilight, what if it makes things fall apart? What if I fail and she hates me forever?" "Sister, don't ask me these things. I honestly don't know. My best advice is to find a guard." The sun princess narrowed her eyes at how shallow Luna could be. It was all about her. She didn't contain the slightest drop of empathy. Sadly, she knew that the cold-hearted front the alicorn put up was just a mask for the turmoil within. Luna was having an awful time adjusting to life back on earth, especially since her trip to Ponyville. Sadly, the mare was more and more secluded, alone, and painfully isolated from the outside world. She hadn't left the castle in a year and her rooms in a month. Anything she wanted she ordered brought to her in bed. Celestia turned on a dime and left, unwilling to stay in the dark room a second longer. Talking to Luna was infuriating, her room disgusted her and the way her sister treated anything regarding romantic emotions was downright wrong. So the alicorn strode off down the hallway, knocking cobwebs aside in the wake of her quick retreat. She could only think of one solution to her problem. There was one alicorn who was great at divining the depths of emotions and wise beyond measure in relationships. She would go to her niece, the one alicorn that seemed to have a heart nowadays. The pink newly-wed made her home at the south end of the castle, next to the guard quarters for the sake of convenience. Although they were next to each other, the alicorn and her groom were always separated by about seven-hundred feet of castle wall. She had her office there, where she often stayed into the depths of the night. As much as she didn't like to be away from Shining Armor, Cadence knew that she was serving her country and her aunt, so she performed her duties tirelessly. So now Celestia set off towards the south wing, the judicial head of Equestria. The entire court system of the great nation converged at one point, and that was the pink alicorn's office. Cadence was the supreme justice, the last say in almost any legal matter. Almost, the only higher authority was Luna, then finally Celestia herself. Cadence sighed. The workshift she was put in was awful and dragged on into the night like a wounded animal. Each moment in the small office was absolute torture. But the mare endured, for the sake of her groom and her country. Maybe if she had breaks or there was some way to entertain herself, other than this nonstop parade of pure, quintessential monotony. She'd seen bill after bill pass before her eyes. She read every word, deemed the bill correct or incorrect, then signed it. Simple, but so dull she felt like beating her head on the desk. Celestia knocked on the office door politely, not wanting to startle her niece too badly. Despite the gesture, Cadence jumped out of her chair in fright. Smoothing her mane and feathers, the proud mare trotted to the door and opened it to the princess. "Celestia! What are you doing here past midnight? Did you just get out of bed?" The sun princess pushed past Cadence, seating herself in one of the green-blue chairs. As much as her body begged for sleep, she knew this was more important. "Cadence... I want to ask you something... that most princesses don't ask. I'm older than you and you probably don't think I have problems like this, but I need your advice on a pony I have... affections towards." "What? Who? When? I promise that I won't judge! Just tell me!" "It's my student. She is sleeping in my room right now and I wanted to ask you... do you think I should? I never wanted the affection of another mare before, and not only that I haven't been in a relationship for three-hundred years." "Calm down, please." Cadence sighed. "You should probably do what I used to do when I wanted a certain pony. You might just be lonely. Date somepony else first then, if you still long for your student, go for it. It won't be wrong in the least and nopony can question the princess after all!" Celestia let out a huge sigh; that was a huge relief. It was plain, simple advice that she could easily follow to the letter. She could see the realistic logic behind her niece's words. Maybe she was just lonely and desperate. It was sound advice to be sure. So the princess nodded, stood, and prepared to return to her quarters. "You won't stay longer?" Cadence asked. "No, it is nearly daybreak and I must raise the sun, as is my duty. I shall see you tomorrow. Good morning, Cadence." As much as the Sun Princess longed for sleep, she knew that soon she needed to raise the sun and go sit upon her throne, starting her daily routine. But before that, she had something to do. A favor she needed to ask. She untied her robe and put on her jewelry, grooming her mane into its usual flowing style. After she was dressed and groomed, she nodded to herself in the mirror, admiring her reflection. She would talk to the head of commons, have her post signs all over Equestria that she was searching for an assistant. It was the perfect guise when she was actually searching for her future suitor. She wanted a gentle-colt, a pony that would respect her and obey her wishes. Somepony... exactly like Twilight. Straightening her tiara, she smiled and left the room, leaving Twilight to still doze in her bed. Author's note: Expositions are rough, no matter what. I had a few difficulties with this, but I did it! Comments are greatly appreciated! Luna's RancorThe Empress of the Night Stormed down the hallway, catching fire to the occasional curtain in her blind fury. Guards scattered in her wake, fearful that if they got in her way she may not find them worthy of living. The moon burned like a silver inferno in the sky, blinding most any pony that dare gaze at it. The blue fire in her eyes seemed to scorch any she gazed at. It wasn't wise to invoke the ire of an Immortal. The mare would turn anypony's bones to ash at that moment. Celestia was in her throne room, relaxing on her golden seat. Luna was out to change that. Luna threw open the doors to the throne room, sending a colossal bang throughout the entire castle and startling the Sun princess. The Empress of the Night appeared in front of her sister, staring her down with pure unspent anger. "Hello sister." Celestia chirped sweetly. "Don't 'Hello Sister' me! I know that you're getting a new servant! You never asked me if I wanted one! Cadence either!" "Oh, I apologize. Did you want one as well?" "Yes! What sort of princess are you?!" "A fair one, by my dearest ponies' standards." Luna's nostrils flared, her eyes stabbing into Celestia's like knives. The latter looked up at her younger sister and gave her a sickly sweet smile. Luna's eye gave a madly irate twitch. "I'll be there today when you pick one. I'll tell Cadence about this as well." And so she was, the Empress of the Night sat on her silver throne that evening, staring down at the entire congregation before her with contempt. Half of those stallions were spineless, pathetic, soft, over pampered and overall useless to her. None even remotely caught the alicorn's eye. To her it was like a room full of cattle, and she had half a mind to lead it to the slaughter. Celestia, on the other hoof, was flabbergasted. This was madness; stallions were lined up out the throne room doors to apply for the job. It was confusing, to say the least, half were just drop dead gorgeous, but the others, well, the princess would politely turn them down. The sun Princess was looking for a pony she could control, not some hulking, massive beast that waddled about, burdened by its own muscle. Luna turned to her sister and asked. "Should I go first, or should you?" It didn't even take a second. "You first." The Night Empress cleared her throat, a cute, almost petite sound that was just adorable to the ear. But the voice that followed was anything but cute or adorable. "Listen!" Luna roared in her Royal voice. "All of you are to form a line and enter this throne room one at a time, lest you be turned into the guards and thrown out onto the streets!" It didn't take long for the massive crowd to clear the room, leaving one dreamy-eyed blue unicorn to confront the Empress. The tall, overall dashing young stallion was enough to make most mares weak in the knees, but Luna was a far different story. The Empress stared him down with the gaze of pure malice, cold hatred that stabbed through his misty-eyed expression in a heartbeat. He was weak, completely unfit to do anything. That stallion had been doted upon his entire life, and Luna could tell. "Leave." "Huh? But you didn't even-" "I ORDERED YOU TO LEAVE!" The unicorn nearly stumbled and fell in his dash out the doors, letting the next stallion come in. Luna just snarled and tilted her head up to stare him down from the bridge of her nose. This was going to be a long, hectic day. Six hours later… The Moon burned in the sky like a silver torch, casting it's pale light down into the throne room. Luna scowled fiercely at the last available stallion. Most of the others had left, tired of standing all day and night long. What was so impressive about him? If she turned every other available stallion this side of her kingdom, then what was this pathetic speck of meat before her? This figure stood before the Empress, his cowl drawn around his face. Even though he wore a hood his sanguine eyes sparked and leered at the alicorn sisters. A huge axe was tied to his back, wrapped in rags stained from his journeys. The smell of rot and decay followed him. Luna masked her own dark activities, while this stranger didn't even bother. He was completely at peace with what he was. His legs were scarred from many intense battles and the sleek frame bespoke a lithe, animalistic power. His horn was red, but it looked as if the bone was stained that way, as if he had plunged it into something living and let blood flow down it. Luna's interest was piqued; this was just the pony she wanted. "State your name and lower thy hood." She commanded. The stranger did, much to the joy of the Night Empress. He was about her height, with a blood red mane and long legs the color of polished slate. He was what was the Empress wanted to see; an able bodied, sturdy servant who looked almost as menacing as he sounded. A jagged mark ran from the stallion's right eye to his lower left cheek; the bridge of his nose had a small chunk out of it where the bone used to lay. He opened his mouth to speak and the sisters could have sworn they saw a bit of blood run down from his bottom lip. His voice echoed with the long past lives of those dead at his hooves, as well as the bloody axe had possessed strapped to his back. When he spoke it sent a chill wind over the lifeless tundra of Luna's heart, gaining a smile as she continued to observe this creature of the night. "Inferno Spark, Madame." "You have quite the Cutie Mark, Spark." She pondered, looking at him from the side. "Indeed. I was gifted in the art of pyromancy, the ability to manipulate flames." Luna felt her stone dead heart beat faster at those words. He was a unicorn that possessed elemental ability, a rare, nearly legendary occurrence. She knew that she had to have him. He spoke like he had killed before, that solemn creak at the end of his sentences declared it. The Empress knew what she wanted, like a seasoned collector, and she wanted him. "May I ask if you are married, Spark?" "I killed my last wife." Her grin only grew broader. "Do you have a place of residence?" "My house was destroyed in the same fire that forced me to kill my wife, she was pinned under a pillar and she was being split in half. I ended it for her." The Night Empress was smiling ear to ear. Was it possible the she had found a pony who's heart had become as much of a chip of ice as her own? He spoke in a dead monotone, a mask for the wasteland that made up the stallion's soul. This was the perfect little mortal for her. "You're hired. Grab your things and meet me at my quarters, Inferno Spark." Celestia was shocked at her sister; she was honestly going to let the pony that killed his own wife sleep a floor below her every night? As soon as the thought appeared, she threw it away. Luna wasn't little LuLu anymore, she could handle herself. Luna looked from her newly appointed servant back to her sister. She wanted to see who would be sharing a suite with Celestia, and it made sense she stick around. "Never mind that, servant. Go up to the suite and set up your things, my guard shall escort you." As they left the next wave of stallions filed in, this time there were only twenty of them. Though the Sun Princess was slightly disheartened at the dwindling numbers, she shrugged and put on a smile for them. First impressions were very important to the alicorn. But there was one suitor that wasn't even going to get a first impression. A certain male caught the Night Empress' eye just then, he was shorter than the rest and had a hood up over his head, hiding his young face. The alicorn narrowed her eyes at the small blue pegasus. "You, there! What in the blazes are you doing here, colt?" A small, fragile colt stumbled out of the crowd, pushed by another stallion. He looked at Luna and Celestia with eyes the size of saucers, filled with fear. He was a shade of verdant emerald and his mane was a faded lime green, something that the Sun princess liked very much. It was a trait she held value to, good looks. So she decided that, despite him being only on the cusp of stallion-hood, she would give him a try. "Ah'm so sorry, ma'am. I don't have a home n' if I could have a job-" He was cut off by an irate Luna, who more or less screamed in the poor boy's face. "This is for fully grown stallions only you stupid foal! Go back to whatever slum of a place you were birthed, crawl in the binge pool that your pathetic excuse for a mother had you in and DIE!" He balked at the alicorn at first, then gave a smile and pulled forth a flask from his saddlebag. It wasn't debatable that this pony had a sense of chilled swagger. "I won't be listenin' to any of your puke." He chuckles. "Ah'm here to be her servant, not yours." The room went dead silent at that moment; nopony dared so much as move. It was so tense that Celestia could see Luna's eye tic acting up. The Night Empress jumped off her throne and stormed up to the diminutive colt. She stared him down with so much hate it was palpable. Celestia half wanted to close her eyes to avoid what would inevitably come next. But instead of her destroying, eviscerating the youngling, she stared him down for a long six minutes. He didn't so much as blink or break eye contact; he just looked up at her with an expression of 'Fuck you, I'm drunk'. "What is your name?" Luna snarled. He looked at her and spoke in his adorable Irish accent. "Meadly Guinness, ma'am." He did a slight bow, further angering the princess. "And your Cutie mark?" "A honey comb and some maize, ma'am." The two continued to stare each other down, him with a smile and her with a look that could flay a guard alive. He broke eye contact to take another sip from his flask, which he tucked under his wing. "Ye' have the most beautiful eyes, by the way." Luna's mouth dropped open. Celestia prepared to hear her ripping the young colt in half, his blood to coat her throne room floor and stain her carpet. After what seemed like centuries, Luna chuckled. Then she broke out in a full blown laugh that grew into a thundering guffaw, scaring the wits out of the guards and even the Sun Princess herself. "I like this stallion, sister. He has more guts than any other in this entire room." "Ah di'n't come here to be praised, ah came here to get a job. Ah'll will gladly do anything Celestia wishes and I happen t' be a master brewer, so if ye ever need a pint. Ah can cook, ah'm decent at conversation n' I'm educated. Forgive me, as mah accent grows thicker when ah drink." "Aren't you too young to be drinking in the first place?" Celestia asked, arching a brow. He let out a raucous round of mirth and said. "No' where ah'm from!" The Sun Princess looked to her sister. "This pony seems a bit… wild for me." "It's what you need, sister. To break a few taboos and have fun for once. I usually don't condone fun, but you need it. You are just such a perfectionist and you have not hobbies or jobs outside your royal duties. I am sure this pony will spice up your day." "I don't want a pony to spice up my day, Luna! I want a pony to be kind courteous and caring. This is a drunk, annoying foal." "Oh come now sister! I am sure this handsome young mortal will be less crass once he's sober." "No." "Yes." "No!" "Yes!" Despite being thousands of years old and wise beyond any mortal reasoning, the two sisters were sometimes reduced to simply yelling at each other. "Look you two, allow me to just say that ah'm a lil less boisterous when I'm sober. But that don't mean-" "Shut up!" Both the alicorns screamed at him. "Look, do I have to job 'r what?" "No!" "Yes!" "'Ow about a coin toss, eh?" "Fine!" They barked. He pulled out a golden coin and tossed it to a guard, who looked at him like he was insane. "Well? Who's heads?" "Heads" Luna growled. "Tails." Her sister snapped. It landed on heads. Luna gave her sister a smug look. "You have a new servant." Explaining GamesMeadley rolled onto the other side of the bed, hoping the shift would relieve his headache. He was hung over, and the change was just more agitation for his stomach-churning vertigo. He had to admit, he didn't always get hung over, but when he did, he couldn't remember anything that he did the night before. The young stallion had really outdone himself this time. For the most part his drunken misadventures were limited to maybe fight or two and a big bruise he wouldn't feel until the day after, most of the time courtesy of his smart mouth. But this time was different. He'd signed a contract, one binding him for life to one specific job. If he'd known what he would have to do for the rest of his days he would have hurled himself from a window at the closest opportunity, but in his still inebriated state he couldn't think that far ahead. So when Celestia went into his new room and prodded his drunken arse in the side, he did little more than look up at her and drawl one very stupid question. "Did we rut?" He asked. The princess, at first, looked furious that he would even suggest a peasant like him be in any sort of relationship with her. But her look softened when she saw his eye's blood vessels shot to the core and some burst wide open, dyeing the whites of his eyes a light red. She shook her head and went over to the window of the tower suite, smiling. With a flick, she threw back the curtains, letting magma-hot sunlight burn in and sear the young stallion's corneas. "Gah! Are you trying to kill me!" He buried his head in a pillow, hiding his fragile eyes from the sun. "Jeez!" "No, we did not rut, and if you use that word again in my presence I will banish you to the surface of my sun and let you burn." She blinked at him sweetly. "Don't even suggest to one of your friends that you are in any sort of relationship with me other than master and my servant." "Hey, mare, I ain't nopony's servant. I don't do whips and stuff like that." "Oh, I would never punish you like that." She mused, striding over to him. He was much, much smaller than the alicorn, by at least two heads and a horn. "On the other hoof, starvation is always a good way to go. Or maybe...." She reached out for his flask on the bedside. "Your precious alcohol." The princess made the receptacle disappear, prompting Meadley to panic; that was his favorite flask. "Okay, okay. What do you want me to do? No need to get all crazy, now." "Firstly, I can tell you don't remember last night. You swore yourself into fealty to me to feed you habit. Go and look on the wall. Don't even bother to try and break the glass and tear the contract up; it is magically reinforced." The young stallion peered at the ink on parchment, his eyes widening in horror as he recognized his handwriting at the bottom. It was his, in all his oddly neat calligraphy, signature in all capital letters. "Umm... there must be some sort of mistake lass I-" "No mistake, you hired yourself and now you're going to go and make me a sandwich." Meadley had a vein sticking out on his temple and an eye tic acting up. He couldn't believe he'd doomed himself. No more parties, no more alcohol, just this mare for the rest of his life. The only thing he had to look forward to now was the day she tore that piece of paper up herself or his cozy coffin. "I ain't no pony’s sandwich boy!" He barked. "Than why are you going to do it?" She smiled, fluttering her eyelashes in the most sickly sweet manner. "I'm no-" No sooner did he move to protest did he start to go do it. He didn't know why, but for some reason his body was making her a perfect sandwich, complete with a toothpick and olive in the center. The worst, most pride-biting part was that he knelt to give it to her, feeding her sense of ego with a low, obedient bow. He grated his teeth and bit his tongue, wanting to leap up and strike her. The ruler saw him and released him from her spell, mercifully. "You can't just make me do that! It's not legal!" He protested. "Oh, but I can, and it is legal. You signed your life away. I'm sorry, I can only imagine how it must feel, but I need you to come to terms with it as soon as possible. You will be my servant, assistant, and companion for the next... oh, seventy years, give or take a few. I did that to make a point. I say 'Jump' and you say 'How high'. That is how this works, the sooner you come to terms with that the easier it will be and the happier you'll be." She got up and began to leave the room, but on her way out a pang of pity echoed in her heart. She turned to the young stallion and sighed, trying to think of anything she could say. She really was sorry about this, but she couldn't just go back now. "Meadley, I know that it feels like you just threw your life away, but try to look at it this way. I need a servant, and I know you'll be a good one. Anything you need, I can get it for you if you just ask. Of course I will expect you to behave as an associate of royalty, but other than that you can still be happy." "How? I just sold my life to you for nothing." He sighed. "And of all the fuck-ups I have under my belt this one outdoes them all. How could I sell my soul to you?! You're a she-devil and I can tell." Celestia shrugged. "Just try to remember that I tried to make you feel better." Meanwhile..... Cadence hadn't found a servant for herself, as both Luna and Celestia had left before she'd made her choice. So now she was stuck, again, with doing court paperwork. Words didn't even describe how much she loathed signing her name over and over again, deciding what sentences to carry out and which should have further evidence, which should be processed and which could spend to be pushed back another month, ect. ect. She loathed it with all her being, and she wished that she had an right-hand pony to shove all her work off onto. But being third fiddle to the most important sisters in Equestria was making her both jealous and angry at the same time; she didn't have as many privileges and she was always trotting in their shadow. Especially Celestia's. That meant that she would have to find a servant herself, and worry about Luna and Celestia's permission later. The mare slammed down her pen and left, leaving a large pile of paperwork for somepony else to do.... No sooner had Cadence left her post did she bump into Luna, who looked at the smaller alicorn in distaste. the princess looked like she'd just got done with her late-night activities in the dungeon. Blood coated her front and she carried a few choice instruments of torture with her. There was one rather scary instrument that was used for gelding roosters in her saddlebag, and it was still caked in blood. Luna stared down at her with wild eyes, her horn sparking with unspent sadism. "What are you doing out here this early?" Cadence stuttered to answer, taken off guard by the princess' sudden appearance. Luna brought iron hoof down on the pink mare's rather delicate shoe, breaking the delicate follicle under her supernatural strength. "Did I stutter?" She hissed down at the mare. "Um, I was just taking a small break, that's all." Cadence smiled, secretly terrified of her mother. "So what are you doing out this late? I suppose it's early, but..." "I was trying to get a prisoner to talk... but he was rather resistant. He was so quiet... he didn't even scream when I neutered him. I'll break him soon, I just need time to starve him further." Luna continued down the hall, her bloody hoof-prints staining the carpet.... And there's another chapter. I think I'll start this fic back up again. Expect more updates by Wednesday.
Prologue: My Little ExpositionFirst, a word for all of you who flock to my stories for the sole sake of the clop value. Go away. This is NOT a clop fic. Clop is in here, but it is used as it should be and is not the sole purpose of this fiction. It is a work that tells the story of the Canterlot Servants. Sorry, but otherwise relocate yourself. If not, please, by all means, keep reading. It was the longest night of the year and Celestia was in her quarters, enjoying her time to relax and do nothing. She napped in her luxurious bed, dozing peacefully, her jewelry set to the side as to be more comfortable. She was content at that moment, something she very rarely was. She was usually swamped by work or the duties of being a leader, but at that moment she was completely at rest, the moon shining through her window and basking a fair portion of her turret suite in its silver glow. The furnishings were not unique or over-expensive, as this was her second bedroom; the one she used publicly and the one she slept in. The real room was far below the mountainside, stacked high with her own, far more personal, belongings. There was a room off to the side of her suite, however. It was below her quarters, a guest bedroom only for her most trusted friends. It was in this room that Twilight Sparkle was staying the night for a sleepover. The princess had invited her for a simple study escapade to the royal library that had ended in them retreating back to the castle. Rain and storms had set in on them in droves that night, forcing Twilight to stay for the evening. At first it had been a bit unsteady and awkward, even though they had known each other for years it was still rather formal. At long last it had been time to sleep and Celestia had gladly taken off her jewelry and went to bed. She was glad to be out of the tense atmosphere that her student presented. It is here that his tale of deception and realization began, in the room that started it all. The room that inspired Celestia to make the decision to get new servants after last month's 'accident' that had actually been a massive blunder of Luna's. She had been working on a magical project when she suddenly came to need a few willing participants. So, being of lower status, Luna performed a little test of her newest spell on them. Quite sadly, all of them perished in the aftermath of the botched spell. Celestia had been furious, but it was literally no use being angry now. The servants were dead and gone and being angry wasn't going to solve anything. So now Luna was straddling the fine, fine line of being on Celestia's list to banish. So the sun princess lay in her room, sleeping the night away, a luxury she hadn't been able to afford for 1,000 years. She had missed it, being able to escape into her own mind and not have to worry about duties or how her kingdom was fairing economically. She could just lie down, and relax. But sadly, the fair royal's sleep was about to be interrupted. The reason, certain little mortals sometimes get nightmares, and being innocent little mortals, they look for comfort. Celestia felt herself prodded in the side with a familiar hoof. The princess sighed in annoyance and opened her eyes, reluctant to release her hold on much needed sleep. At first she was confused, there was nopony there. Until a certain lavender mare appeared, startling the princess. "Princess, could I... um, sleep with you tonight? I had a bad dream and... well..." The goddess sighed; if anything this would only make the tension between them worse, considering the fact that she didn't want to touch the mare. She decided that she would politely send her back to bed, until she was stopped dead in her tracks. But what really, completely shocked her was that she was crying. This mare had been through a lot and she wasn't easy to upset. Most of the time she was level-headed and calm, but the unicorn looked terrified as she stared at her mentor, her huge purple eyes reflecting the moonlight perfectly. "Twilight..." She bit her lip, fumbling with the decision. "Fine. Stay on that side of the-" She was already curled against her side, face buried in her soft white fur. Her breath shook and wavered, the after effects of her sudden night terror. The princess wanted to pull away but... something stopped her. An instinct she didn't even know she possessed after 300 years. Her heartstrings twinged and a warm emotion choked the usually stoic leader. As much as she hated to admit it, she liked having her close. The lavender mare shivered against her, absorbing the larger alicorn's warmth. She didn't want to acknowledge her warmer feelings towards her student, but she could not deny she adored having her near. She was like a soft little doll. Admittedly, the princess had been quite lonely of late. It wasn't that she couldn't get somepony to court her; of course that wasn't the reason. The reason was the unfortunate schism between every living pony and herself. She was thousands of years old and had seen it all; she was more intelligent than anypony around her. She knew two things would happen if she attempted a relationship with anypony: they would either prove an idiot, or the stallion wouldn't be compatible. She wanted depth, sophistication, soulfulness, not a shallow, one sided, soulless git that would just make jokes and try to cover the fact he was dumber than a brick. She wanted a pony to push her, to get her to try new things and adventure. But everypony around her just seemed...impossible. Except her apprentice. Eager, adorable and quite innocent, Twilight was the defining picture of what she wanted in most males. She was gentle, but if the young unicorn grew weary she would wander off and get into some sort of trouble. She quite liked it. She was like the daughter she'd never had. She enjoyed caring for the unicorn when she would bother her friends or mess up on a spell. The princess adored her physically, and mentally she marveled at her innocent nature, despite all they had been through together. She made her laugh on more than one occasion, mostly due to her antics when it came to tackling new projects. She was smaller than her and weaker, but Celestia didn't mind at all. If anything she liked her even more because of it. The perfect description of the unicorn would be a doll, warm, soft and very easy to cuddle. As perfect as Twilight was, Celestia knew in the back of her head that the mare was her apprentice and that she was the mentor. It would be wildly improper for her to start any sort of relationship, be it platonic or otherwise. So the lonely princess sighed and closed her eyes yet again, trying desperately to not say anything. Her loneliness was crushing. Three hundred years of pure, agonizing romantic limbo. Twilight yawned, spreading her limbs in a massive stretch. Celestia's heart jerked at the sight; it was just so adorable. She bit her bottom lip and waited for the unicorn to fall back asleep. Once Twilight was fast asleep, the princess rolled out of her bed and strode over to the door, wanting desperately to crawl back under the covers and cuddle her student mercilessly. But the immortal disciplined herself and maintained her stiff composure. With the utmost of focus she strode out her door and down the hallway, wrapping a robe about her and tying the sash about her waist tightly. She didn't know quite where she was going, but it was better than staying in her room, risking the stability of her friendship. So the princess decided that she would do the thing she usually did when she was upset. Visit Luna. The immortal cantered down the dark halls, the moon shining brightly through the massive windows, casting long shadows on the walls. She looked at all of the rich decor and stunning chandeliers, the lack light creating a haunted sort of atmosphere. She could see cobwebs and dust settling on the furniture and doors rusting shut in areas. She sniffed and narrowed her eyes at the lack of care this place received. She was going to get new cleaners. Soon. Otherwise this section of the castle would become a home for mice and dust bunnies... perhaps other, more unsavory things such as the thieves that tried to get in on occasion. At long last, in the depths of this forgotten, dilapidated wing of the castle, she found the massive door leading to Luna's room. Celestia brought her hoof down on the solid iron knocker, sending a thundering echo through the halls, louder than war drums. It took six long minutes for the door to open, even then only a small slat appeared, from which cool blue eyes regarded the sun princess. "Sister." Luna said, her voice muffled by the door. "What doth thou require?" "I require you open the door." Luna narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Why?" "I need to talk to you about a personal matter. Please let me in?" The slat closed, followed by many mechanical and magical rattles and booms, ending in the massive, bulky door swinging open. The Empress of the Night gestured her sister in with her wing. Luna's quarters were more or less a dungeon. Dark curtains and sculptures of gargoyles and other, far more malevolent creatures were throughout the suite, leering at the two immortals with sightless eyes, their souls filled with cold malice and hate. Skulls were perched atop stands; blue-sapphire candles burned azure flames, hot wax dripping down into long dead eye sockets. Rugs designed in necromantic circles and hexes covered the cement floor, stained in the blood of animals that met their slow ends by Luna's hooves. Celestia knew exactly why she didn't come in there often. It reminded her of a crypt. The entire room smelled of sulfur and decay. The princess began to pull in breaths through her mouth, hoping to avoid the awful stench. Luna strode over to her bed and leapt up onto the pale blue sheets, regarding her older sibling with all the warmth of the Arctic Ocean. "Now, what did you want, sister?" The sun princess took in a deep breathe; Luna wasn't the pony to explain more sentimental emotions to. "I was just in my room with Twilight Sparkle and... she wanted to sleep in my bed with me. She had a nightmare and she looked so scared I decided it would be okay. The next thing I knew, she was against me and I felt... something. I don't know what happened. I hadn't felt that way in over three-hundred years. It was that same warm, soft emotion as last time. I don't know if I should pursue it, though." "And so you came to me for advice?" Luna guffawed, falling backwards on her bed in mirth. "I say, sister, you should go to Cadence or your nearest guard captain for a little advice in that area." "Please take this seriously, sister. I can't make up my mind." Luna was still laughing her flank off. "Hah! Look at my sister, my older, wiser sister. Yet she falls victim to the same ridiculous sentiments that dominate lesser ponies. How comical. Say, if you really need a pony to care for you, why not just get another servant and beg them for a little romance? It seems a solution and for you there are no strings attached, you can simply wipe their memory and leave them on the side of a street." "Sister, please!" Celestia yelled. "I would never toy with a pony's emotions! This is very serious. I don't know what to do and if I try to pursue a relationship with Twilight, what if it makes things fall apart? What if I fail and she hates me forever?" "Sister, don't ask me these things. I honestly don't know. My best advice is to find a guard." The sun princess narrowed her eyes at how shallow Luna could be. It was all about her. She didn't contain the slightest drop of empathy. Sadly, she knew that the cold-hearted front the alicorn put up was just a mask for the turmoil within. Luna was having an awful time adjusting to life back on earth, especially since her trip to Ponyville. Sadly, the mare was more and more secluded, alone, and painfully isolated from the outside world. She hadn't left the castle in a year and her rooms in a month. Anything she wanted she ordered brought to her in bed. Celestia turned on a dime and left, unwilling to stay in the dark room a second longer. Talking to Luna was infuriating, her room disgusted her and the way her sister treated anything regarding romantic emotions was downright wrong. So the alicorn strode off down the hallway, knocking cobwebs aside in the wake of her quick retreat. She could only think of one solution to her problem. There was one alicorn who was great at divining the depths of emotions and wise beyond measure in relationships. She would go to her niece, the one alicorn that seemed to have a heart nowadays. The pink newly-wed made her home at the south end of the castle, next to the guard quarters for the sake of convenience. Although they were next to each other, the alicorn and her groom were always separated by about seven-hundred feet of castle wall. She had her office there, where she often stayed into the depths of the night. As much as she didn't like to be away from Shining Armor, Cadence knew that she was serving her country and her aunt, so she performed her duties tirelessly. So now Celestia set off towards the south wing, the judicial head of Equestria. The entire court system of the great nation converged at one point, and that was the pink alicorn's office. Cadence was the supreme justice, the last say in almost any legal matter. Almost, the only higher authority was Luna, then finally Celestia herself. Cadence sighed. The workshift she was put in was awful and dragged on into the night like a wounded animal. Each moment in the small office was absolute torture. But the mare endured, for the sake of her groom and her country. Maybe if she had breaks or there was some way to entertain herself, other than this nonstop parade of pure, quintessential monotony. She'd seen bill after bill pass before her eyes. She read every word, deemed the bill correct or incorrect, then signed it. Simple, but so dull she felt like beating her head on the desk. Celestia knocked on the office door politely, not wanting to startle her niece too badly. Despite the gesture, Cadence jumped out of her chair in fright. Smoothing her mane and feathers, the proud mare trotted to the door and opened it to the princess. "Celestia! What are you doing here past midnight? Did you just get out of bed?" The sun princess pushed past Cadence, seating herself in one of the green-blue chairs. As much as her body begged for sleep, she knew this was more important. "Cadence... I want to ask you something... that most princesses don't ask. I'm older than you and you probably don't think I have problems like this, but I need your advice on a pony I have... affections towards." "What? Who? When? I promise that I won't judge! Just tell me!" "It's my student. She is sleeping in my room right now and I wanted to ask you... do you think I should? I never wanted the affection of another mare before, and not only that I haven't been in a relationship for three-hundred years." "Calm down, please." Cadence sighed. "You should probably do what I used to do when I wanted a certain pony. You might just be lonely. Date somepony else first then, if you still long for your student, go for it. It won't be wrong in the least and nopony can question the princess after all!" Celestia let out a huge sigh; that was a huge relief. It was plain, simple advice that she could easily follow to the letter. She could see the realistic logic behind her niece's words. Maybe she was just lonely and desperate. It was sound advice to be sure. So the princess nodded, stood, and prepared to return to her quarters. "You won't stay longer?" Cadence asked. "No, it is nearly daybreak and I must raise the sun, as is my duty. I shall see you tomorrow. Good morning, Cadence." As much as the Sun Princess longed for sleep, she knew that soon she needed to raise the sun and go sit upon her throne, starting her daily routine. But before that, she had something to do. A favor she needed to ask. She untied her robe and put on her jewelry, grooming her mane into its usual flowing style. After she was dressed and groomed, she nodded to herself in the mirror, admiring her reflection. She would talk to the head of commons, have her post signs all over Equestria that she was searching for an assistant. It was the perfect guise when she was actually searching for her future suitor. She wanted a gentle-colt, a pony that would respect her and obey her wishes. Somepony... exactly like Twilight. Straightening her tiara, she smiled and left the room, leaving Twilight to still doze in her bed. Author's note: Expositions are rough, no matter what. I had a few difficulties with this, but I did it! Comments are greatly appreciated!
Luna's RancorThe Empress of the Night Stormed down the hallway, catching fire to the occasional curtain in her blind fury. Guards scattered in her wake, fearful that if they got in her way she may not find them worthy of living. The moon burned like a silver inferno in the sky, blinding most any pony that dare gaze at it. The blue fire in her eyes seemed to scorch any she gazed at. It wasn't wise to invoke the ire of an Immortal. The mare would turn anypony's bones to ash at that moment. Celestia was in her throne room, relaxing on her golden seat. Luna was out to change that. Luna threw open the doors to the throne room, sending a colossal bang throughout the entire castle and startling the Sun princess. The Empress of the Night appeared in front of her sister, staring her down with pure unspent anger. "Hello sister." Celestia chirped sweetly. "Don't 'Hello Sister' me! I know that you're getting a new servant! You never asked me if I wanted one! Cadence either!" "Oh, I apologize. Did you want one as well?" "Yes! What sort of princess are you?!" "A fair one, by my dearest ponies' standards." Luna's nostrils flared, her eyes stabbing into Celestia's like knives. The latter looked up at her younger sister and gave her a sickly sweet smile. Luna's eye gave a madly irate twitch. "I'll be there today when you pick one. I'll tell Cadence about this as well." And so she was, the Empress of the Night sat on her silver throne that evening, staring down at the entire congregation before her with contempt. Half of those stallions were spineless, pathetic, soft, over pampered and overall useless to her. None even remotely caught the alicorn's eye. To her it was like a room full of cattle, and she had half a mind to lead it to the slaughter. Celestia, on the other hoof, was flabbergasted. This was madness; stallions were lined up out the throne room doors to apply for the job. It was confusing, to say the least, half were just drop dead gorgeous, but the others, well, the princess would politely turn them down. The sun Princess was looking for a pony she could control, not some hulking, massive beast that waddled about, burdened by its own muscle. Luna turned to her sister and asked. "Should I go first, or should you?" It didn't even take a second. "You first." The Night Empress cleared her throat, a cute, almost petite sound that was just adorable to the ear. But the voice that followed was anything but cute or adorable. "Listen!" Luna roared in her Royal voice. "All of you are to form a line and enter this throne room one at a time, lest you be turned into the guards and thrown out onto the streets!" It didn't take long for the massive crowd to clear the room, leaving one dreamy-eyed blue unicorn to confront the Empress. The tall, overall dashing young stallion was enough to make most mares weak in the knees, but Luna was a far different story. The Empress stared him down with the gaze of pure malice, cold hatred that stabbed through his misty-eyed expression in a heartbeat. He was weak, completely unfit to do anything. That stallion had been doted upon his entire life, and Luna could tell. "Leave." "Huh? But you didn't even-" "I ORDERED YOU TO LEAVE!" The unicorn nearly stumbled and fell in his dash out the doors, letting the next stallion come in. Luna just snarled and tilted her head up to stare him down from the bridge of her nose. This was going to be a long, hectic day. Six hours later… The Moon burned in the sky like a silver torch, casting it's pale light down into the throne room. Luna scowled fiercely at the last available stallion. Most of the others had left, tired of standing all day and night long. What was so impressive about him? If she turned every other available stallion this side of her kingdom, then what was this pathetic speck of meat before her? This figure stood before the Empress, his cowl drawn around his face. Even though he wore a hood his sanguine eyes sparked and leered at the alicorn sisters. A huge axe was tied to his back, wrapped in rags stained from his journeys. The smell of rot and decay followed him. Luna masked her own dark activities, while this stranger didn't even bother. He was completely at peace with what he was. His legs were scarred from many intense battles and the sleek frame bespoke a lithe, animalistic power. His horn was red, but it looked as if the bone was stained that way, as if he had plunged it into something living and let blood flow down it. Luna's interest was piqued; this was just the pony she wanted. "State your name and lower thy hood." She commanded. The stranger did, much to the joy of the Night Empress. He was about her height, with a blood red mane and long legs the color of polished slate. He was what was the Empress wanted to see; an able bodied, sturdy servant who looked almost as menacing as he sounded. A jagged mark ran from the stallion's right eye to his lower left cheek; the bridge of his nose had a small chunk out of it where the bone used to lay. He opened his mouth to speak and the sisters could have sworn they saw a bit of blood run down from his bottom lip. His voice echoed with the long past lives of those dead at his hooves, as well as the bloody axe had possessed strapped to his back. When he spoke it sent a chill wind over the lifeless tundra of Luna's heart, gaining a smile as she continued to observe this creature of the night. "Inferno Spark, Madame." "You have quite the Cutie Mark, Spark." She pondered, looking at him from the side. "Indeed. I was gifted in the art of pyromancy, the ability to manipulate flames." Luna felt her stone dead heart beat faster at those words. He was a unicorn that possessed elemental ability, a rare, nearly legendary occurrence. She knew that she had to have him. He spoke like he had killed before, that solemn creak at the end of his sentences declared it. The Empress knew what she wanted, like a seasoned collector, and she wanted him. "May I ask if you are married, Spark?" "I killed my last wife." Her grin only grew broader. "Do you have a place of residence?" "My house was destroyed in the same fire that forced me to kill my wife, she was pinned under a pillar and she was being split in half. I ended it for her." The Night Empress was smiling ear to ear. Was it possible the she had found a pony who's heart had become as much of a chip of ice as her own? He spoke in a dead monotone, a mask for the wasteland that made up the stallion's soul. This was the perfect little mortal for her. "You're hired. Grab your things and meet me at my quarters, Inferno Spark." Celestia was shocked at her sister; she was honestly going to let the pony that killed his own wife sleep a floor below her every night? As soon as the thought appeared, she threw it away. Luna wasn't little LuLu anymore, she could handle herself. Luna looked from her newly appointed servant back to her sister. She wanted to see who would be sharing a suite with Celestia, and it made sense she stick around. "Never mind that, servant. Go up to the suite and set up your things, my guard shall escort you." As they left the next wave of stallions filed in, this time there were only twenty of them. Though the Sun Princess was slightly disheartened at the dwindling numbers, she shrugged and put on a smile for them. First impressions were very important to the alicorn. But there was one suitor that wasn't even going to get a first impression. A certain male caught the Night Empress' eye just then, he was shorter than the rest and had a hood up over his head, hiding his young face. The alicorn narrowed her eyes at the small blue pegasus. "You, there! What in the blazes are you doing here, colt?" A small, fragile colt stumbled out of the crowd, pushed by another stallion. He looked at Luna and Celestia with eyes the size of saucers, filled with fear. He was a shade of verdant emerald and his mane was a faded lime green, something that the Sun princess liked very much. It was a trait she held value to, good looks. So she decided that, despite him being only on the cusp of stallion-hood, she would give him a try. "Ah'm so sorry, ma'am. I don't have a home n' if I could have a job-" He was cut off by an irate Luna, who more or less screamed in the poor boy's face. "This is for fully grown stallions only you stupid foal! Go back to whatever slum of a place you were birthed, crawl in the binge pool that your pathetic excuse for a mother had you in and DIE!" He balked at the alicorn at first, then gave a smile and pulled forth a flask from his saddlebag. It wasn't debatable that this pony had a sense of chilled swagger. "I won't be listenin' to any of your puke." He chuckles. "Ah'm here to be her servant, not yours." The room went dead silent at that moment; nopony dared so much as move. It was so tense that Celestia could see Luna's eye tic acting up. The Night Empress jumped off her throne and stormed up to the diminutive colt. She stared him down with so much hate it was palpable. Celestia half wanted to close her eyes to avoid what would inevitably come next. But instead of her destroying, eviscerating the youngling, she stared him down for a long six minutes. He didn't so much as blink or break eye contact; he just looked up at her with an expression of 'Fuck you, I'm drunk'. "What is your name?" Luna snarled. He looked at her and spoke in his adorable Irish accent. "Meadly Guinness, ma'am." He did a slight bow, further angering the princess. "And your Cutie mark?" "A honey comb and some maize, ma'am." The two continued to stare each other down, him with a smile and her with a look that could flay a guard alive. He broke eye contact to take another sip from his flask, which he tucked under his wing. "Ye' have the most beautiful eyes, by the way." Luna's mouth dropped open. Celestia prepared to hear her ripping the young colt in half, his blood to coat her throne room floor and stain her carpet. After what seemed like centuries, Luna chuckled. Then she broke out in a full blown laugh that grew into a thundering guffaw, scaring the wits out of the guards and even the Sun Princess herself. "I like this stallion, sister. He has more guts than any other in this entire room." "Ah di'n't come here to be praised, ah came here to get a job. Ah'll will gladly do anything Celestia wishes and I happen t' be a master brewer, so if ye ever need a pint. Ah can cook, ah'm decent at conversation n' I'm educated. Forgive me, as mah accent grows thicker when ah drink." "Aren't you too young to be drinking in the first place?" Celestia asked, arching a brow. He let out a raucous round of mirth and said. "No' where ah'm from!" The Sun Princess looked to her sister. "This pony seems a bit… wild for me." "It's what you need, sister. To break a few taboos and have fun for once. I usually don't condone fun, but you need it. You are just such a perfectionist and you have not hobbies or jobs outside your royal duties. I am sure this pony will spice up your day." "I don't want a pony to spice up my day, Luna! I want a pony to be kind courteous and caring. This is a drunk, annoying foal." "Oh come now sister! I am sure this handsome young mortal will be less crass once he's sober." "No." "Yes." "No!" "Yes!" Despite being thousands of years old and wise beyond any mortal reasoning, the two sisters were sometimes reduced to simply yelling at each other. "Look you two, allow me to just say that ah'm a lil less boisterous when I'm sober. But that don't mean-" "Shut up!" Both the alicorns screamed at him. "Look, do I have to job 'r what?" "No!" "Yes!" "'Ow about a coin toss, eh?" "Fine!" They barked. He pulled out a golden coin and tossed it to a guard, who looked at him like he was insane. "Well? Who's heads?" "Heads" Luna growled. "Tails." Her sister snapped. It landed on heads. Luna gave her sister a smug look. "You have a new servant."
Explaining GamesMeadley rolled onto the other side of the bed, hoping the shift would relieve his headache. He was hung over, and the change was just more agitation for his stomach-churning vertigo. He had to admit, he didn't always get hung over, but when he did, he couldn't remember anything that he did the night before. The young stallion had really outdone himself this time. For the most part his drunken misadventures were limited to maybe fight or two and a big bruise he wouldn't feel until the day after, most of the time courtesy of his smart mouth. But this time was different. He'd signed a contract, one binding him for life to one specific job. If he'd known what he would have to do for the rest of his days he would have hurled himself from a window at the closest opportunity, but in his still inebriated state he couldn't think that far ahead. So when Celestia went into his new room and prodded his drunken arse in the side, he did little more than look up at her and drawl one very stupid question. "Did we rut?" He asked. The princess, at first, looked furious that he would even suggest a peasant like him be in any sort of relationship with her. But her look softened when she saw his eye's blood vessels shot to the core and some burst wide open, dyeing the whites of his eyes a light red. She shook her head and went over to the window of the tower suite, smiling. With a flick, she threw back the curtains, letting magma-hot sunlight burn in and sear the young stallion's corneas. "Gah! Are you trying to kill me!" He buried his head in a pillow, hiding his fragile eyes from the sun. "Jeez!" "No, we did not rut, and if you use that word again in my presence I will banish you to the surface of my sun and let you burn." She blinked at him sweetly. "Don't even suggest to one of your friends that you are in any sort of relationship with me other than master and my servant." "Hey, mare, I ain't nopony's servant. I don't do whips and stuff like that." "Oh, I would never punish you like that." She mused, striding over to him. He was much, much smaller than the alicorn, by at least two heads and a horn. "On the other hoof, starvation is always a good way to go. Or maybe...." She reached out for his flask on the bedside. "Your precious alcohol." The princess made the receptacle disappear, prompting Meadley to panic; that was his favorite flask. "Okay, okay. What do you want me to do? No need to get all crazy, now." "Firstly, I can tell you don't remember last night. You swore yourself into fealty to me to feed you habit. Go and look on the wall. Don't even bother to try and break the glass and tear the contract up; it is magically reinforced." The young stallion peered at the ink on parchment, his eyes widening in horror as he recognized his handwriting at the bottom. It was his, in all his oddly neat calligraphy, signature in all capital letters. "Umm... there must be some sort of mistake lass I-" "No mistake, you hired yourself and now you're going to go and make me a sandwich." Meadley had a vein sticking out on his temple and an eye tic acting up. He couldn't believe he'd doomed himself. No more parties, no more alcohol, just this mare for the rest of his life. The only thing he had to look forward to now was the day she tore that piece of paper up herself or his cozy coffin. "I ain't no pony’s sandwich boy!" He barked. "Than why are you going to do it?" She smiled, fluttering her eyelashes in the most sickly sweet manner. "I'm no-" No sooner did he move to protest did he start to go do it. He didn't know why, but for some reason his body was making her a perfect sandwich, complete with a toothpick and olive in the center. The worst, most pride-biting part was that he knelt to give it to her, feeding her sense of ego with a low, obedient bow. He grated his teeth and bit his tongue, wanting to leap up and strike her. The ruler saw him and released him from her spell, mercifully. "You can't just make me do that! It's not legal!" He protested. "Oh, but I can, and it is legal. You signed your life away. I'm sorry, I can only imagine how it must feel, but I need you to come to terms with it as soon as possible. You will be my servant, assistant, and companion for the next... oh, seventy years, give or take a few. I did that to make a point. I say 'Jump' and you say 'How high'. That is how this works, the sooner you come to terms with that the easier it will be and the happier you'll be." She got up and began to leave the room, but on her way out a pang of pity echoed in her heart. She turned to the young stallion and sighed, trying to think of anything she could say. She really was sorry about this, but she couldn't just go back now. "Meadley, I know that it feels like you just threw your life away, but try to look at it this way. I need a servant, and I know you'll be a good one. Anything you need, I can get it for you if you just ask. Of course I will expect you to behave as an associate of royalty, but other than that you can still be happy." "How? I just sold my life to you for nothing." He sighed. "And of all the fuck-ups I have under my belt this one outdoes them all. How could I sell my soul to you?! You're a she-devil and I can tell." Celestia shrugged. "Just try to remember that I tried to make you feel better." Meanwhile..... Cadence hadn't found a servant for herself, as both Luna and Celestia had left before she'd made her choice. So now she was stuck, again, with doing court paperwork. Words didn't even describe how much she loathed signing her name over and over again, deciding what sentences to carry out and which should have further evidence, which should be processed and which could spend to be pushed back another month, ect. ect. She loathed it with all her being, and she wished that she had an right-hand pony to shove all her work off onto. But being third fiddle to the most important sisters in Equestria was making her both jealous and angry at the same time; she didn't have as many privileges and she was always trotting in their shadow. Especially Celestia's. That meant that she would have to find a servant herself, and worry about Luna and Celestia's permission later. The mare slammed down her pen and left, leaving a large pile of paperwork for somepony else to do.... No sooner had Cadence left her post did she bump into Luna, who looked at the smaller alicorn in distaste. the princess looked like she'd just got done with her late-night activities in the dungeon. Blood coated her front and she carried a few choice instruments of torture with her. There was one rather scary instrument that was used for gelding roosters in her saddlebag, and it was still caked in blood. Luna stared down at her with wild eyes, her horn sparking with unspent sadism. "What are you doing out here this early?" Cadence stuttered to answer, taken off guard by the princess' sudden appearance. Luna brought iron hoof down on the pink mare's rather delicate shoe, breaking the delicate follicle under her supernatural strength. "Did I stutter?" She hissed down at the mare. "Um, I was just taking a small break, that's all." Cadence smiled, secretly terrified of her mother. "So what are you doing out this late? I suppose it's early, but..." "I was trying to get a prisoner to talk... but he was rather resistant. He was so quiet... he didn't even scream when I neutered him. I'll break him soon, I just need time to starve him further." Luna continued down the hall, her bloody hoof-prints staining the carpet.... And there's another chapter. I think I'll start this fic back up again. Expect more updates by Wednesday.
