Castle Sweet Castle

by Good Christian Ethesto

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash
Length: 1303

Twilight needs some work done on her house, and doesn't want to waste money on an interior designer.

Twilight needs some work done on her house, and doesn't want to waste money on an interior designer.

Good times for the whole family.

Published 2015-04-14 23:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-14 23:30:01 UTC

It's all downhill from here

"Wow, that trip sure was one big train wreck," commented Applejack as she and her friends exited the hospital. They were all forced to wear plastic cones around their necks so they wouldn't bite at the multitude of stitches that held their partially-exploded bodies together.

"I'll say," agreed Twilight, happy to finally be back home. Though, while that was an awful train ride, that time with the MMM really took the cake. Get it? Get it...?

"I can't wait to finally get home and take a long nap in my home, that I own, that I live in, at home," commented Rainbow Dash, stretching out like a kitty cat before feeling several segments of her fractured spine coming unaligned and thinking better of it.

At the mention of homes, the others spoke up in agreement, all except Twilight who bit her lip, a comically large drop of sweat dripping down her brow. "Well, wasn't Fluttershy talking about cleaning her animal friends today? I could use some breakfa- I mean I'd like to help."

Fluttershy seemed to brighten up, her body raising two octaves on the color wheel. "I'd love to have you come over and help, Twilight," she whispered, her voice week from years of continuous smoking.

"Then that's settled," Twilight asserted, already beginning on her way towards Fluttershy's house. "I'll see the rest of you tomorrow for our breakfast club."

The group let out a collective cheer as they each went off to do pony things, and before long Twilight Sparkle and Flutterhsy were outside the cottage, cleaning a bunch of smelly animals. Eventually, Twilight's adorable little stomach rumbled, and she was once again reminded that she'd skipped breakfast at the hospital. She was a princess, no way was she gonna eat the glorified-boogers they passed as genuine Gerber. Not a chance that was real pumpkin and squash!

No matter though, she could get her breakfast at long last. She licked her lips, a few globules of spittle dripping down her chin as her huge eyes focused on a honey badger she was cleaning. A quick glance to the side confirmed that Fluttershy was fully focused on her own task, waxing her pet clam, meaning that Twilight was in the clear.

With a swift and practiced motion, she grabbed the cleaned badger and shoved it straight down her gaping throat like a baby bird with a worm. She didn't even gag as it slid down her esophagus and landed in her adorable little tummy rumpler. Sitting back, she belched as she felt it going crazy in there, and while her bowels were gonna be a wreck later, it was a good meal.

Having achieved her goal, Twilight stood up and walked off, offering a quick "smell ya later," to Fluttershy as she made her way into town. It was only after she'd left that she finally realized that she had nowhere else to go. She wasn't gonna go back to that house, what with the lack of internet connection. They still hadn't finished setting up cable, so there was nothing to do there.

"I guess I can go hang out with Pinkie Pie or something," she offered, letting the audience know what she was going to do as the story segued into the next scene.

The next morning, that one group of multicolored magi madoka mini horses gathered 'round the new, cedar dining room table (Spike had eaten the nice crystal one they got last story), all stuffing their faces with pancakes. Applejack didn't even bother to chew as she used a shovel to pile copious quantities of pancakes in her putrid gob.

Rarity might have commented on the taste of the pancakes at some point, but everyone was too busy eating to listen to her.

Eventually, after the group had satisfied their dark hungers, they finally addressed the elephant in the room.

"Excuse me, Mr. Elephant," said Fluttershy, having been given the ability to talk to animals just like Eliza Thornberry, "no one invited you."

It cast its eyes to the floor, once again realizing it had no friends. As it left through the front door, thoughts of laying down and taking a permanent nap flooded its head, and a solitary tear rolled down its wrinkled trunk.

"I thought it'd never leave," remarked Rainbow Dash, who's a girl apparently. With that out of the way, everyone finally noticed that Twilight was fast asleep, brown stuff caked over small areas of her hair and body.

"Hey Eggbrain," Rainbow called as she tossed a pancake across the room, which was impaled upon Twilight's horn, causing her to wake up suddenly.

"Woah," she cried, looking around the room. "What are you guys doing in my house?"

"Eating your Earth food, drinking your Earth water, and breathing your Earth air," explained Pinkie Pie.

"Same thing we do every day," supplied Rainbow, "why were you asleep anyway?"

It had been a long night for Twilight, and without pon3hub for a quick fap she had trouble falling asleep. That, and she was on the toilet most of the night. "Something I ate yesterday didn't agree with me," she said nonchalantly. That honey badger may not have given a shit, but she sure did(hue). "By the way, you should probably avoid the bathroom for a few days if you value your life."

Rainbow Dash, her attention span about as long as an old pencil, was looking around, noticing for the first time just how empty the huge room was. "You need an interior decorator."

"Oh, but that'd be too expensive," she said, valuing her Jew gold above all else.

It was then that Rarity's eyes lit up, giving off a dim glow, and she offered her grand idea - they could help decorate Twilight's house for her! After all, what are friends for? But none of the ponies payed her any mind.

"We could decorate it for you," said Fluttershy in her infinite generosity. It was such a good idea that Twilight and Spike went to the spa to get deep tissue massages, if you catch my driftwood, while the rest of the group began decorating.

Fluttershy ushered in a bunch of wild animals, since she knew Twilight loved those, while Rainbow Dash set up Wonderbolts paraphernalia as she's a one-dimensional character. Meanwhile, Applejack realized she'd finally found a place to store her extra hay bails, and she took advantage of her friend's home as she stacked more than a dozen of them around the room. She went on to literally pour dirt all over the floor because she lives in the dirt like a camel and knows no better. Meanwhile, Pinkie Pie was busy hiding explosives around the house because those were always a blast.

So was spent several hours, and eventually Spike and Twilight were done at the spa and returned to their home, limping from a very, very, deep tissue massage, if you catch my driftwood. They came in through the front, only to find that the house was a complete mess of random doodads and various junk.

"Wow, my friends are idiots, but where are they?" She wondered aloud, only to be startled as Pinkie Pie unearthed herself from a pile of potting soil.

"I just finished setting up the last secret party explosive, the others went up to decorate the bathroom, but that was more than an hour ago and they haven't come back yet." R.I.P.

Twilight was about to comment on the likely hood of the group's death, when she realized something important. "Wait, party explosives?"

Hardly had she finished asking her question when she conveniently took a step back, right onto a tripwire. In an instant, numerous explosives went off in a chain reaction, and the entire castle detonated.

There were no survivors.

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