Pinkie's Search for a Genre

by The Weakest Link

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random
Length: 979

Pinkie systematically checks for genres of fanfiction.

Pinkie Pie becomes aware that she is inside of a fan created story. But really, her only question is…

…what kind of fanfiction is she in?

Time to bust out the deerstalker cap and magnifying glass, kiddies, because we've got a mystery on our hands!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-05-01 01:10:02 UTC

It Begins

Pinkie is feeling peculiar today.

Now, while Pinkie did often feel peculiar, do peculiar things in peculiar ways, and think peculiar thoughts, today is different in that her peculiarness levels are ever so slightly raised, just enough to rouse her curiosity.

Her peculiarness is also such that the word ‘peculiarness’ was created in an attempt to describe such peculiarness. But that’s beside the point.

The point is that Pinkie felt peculiar. Now, after all of this talk of peculiarness, one must be asking themselves, ‘Why was she feeling peculiar?”, or perhaps, “Was I really just referred to as ‘one’ by some ambiguous pretentious narrarator?”

The second question is best left unanswered, but the first is quite valid. In order to answer it thoroughly, let us delve into Pinkie Pie’s morning.

Her routine is simple; wake up, eat from secret stash of sugar hidden under her bed in order to give her proper energy to start the day, exercise briefly, take a shower, practice smiling and making funny faces in the mirror, lose track of time while making funny faces, brush teeth, and head downstairs.

But as Pinkie descended the stairs, she felt something usual. No, not unusual. Usual.

She felt usual because her Pinkie Sense was beginning to act up, and this happens so regularly that she does not find it nearly as unusual as other ponies might.

In fact, she felt especially usual because of what her Pinkie Sense told her, as she had been told it many times before:

Grumbly tummy, twitchy left ear, right hind leg buck, brief uncontrollable giggle fit, entire body inflation, entire body deflation, sudden craving for frozen yogurt.

I’m in a fanfiction again, aren’t I?

Pinkie felt several emotions run through her as she came to this realization, with the most prominent two emotions being elation and trepidation. She pondered to herself for a moment.

Well...this could be pretty fun! I could meet an alien, or clone myself again, or fall for somepony; the possibilities are only limited as the imagination of whoever the writer is! This can’t be anything but good!

Pinkie had long since repressed some of the darker pieces she’d been a part of, though she never did come to understand her unconscious aversion to cupcakes.

But wait...what kind of fanfiction is it? Oooh, a mystery! It could be a slash fic, or a ship fic, or something completely new and random! Hm…

A lit light bulb appeared over Pinkie’s head, presumably having spawned from the ether, and the mare underneath the physical anomaly suddenly gained an idea. She quickly turned around and trotted back up the stairs, a gleeful smile on her face. Entering her loft, she opened her wardrobe and rifled inside, making quite a mess.

Raincoat, clown nose, fake arrow headpiece, swirly glasses, dress from the gala, galoshes…

She pulled out a quilt like dress embroidered with cutie marks, along with a necklace of seemingly plastic unicorn horns. She raised an eyebrow at the odd clothing, but just shrugged and threw it back in.

Eventually she found what she was looking for: her deerstalker cap. Clearly such a piece of sophisticated detective wear would aid her in her quest. After fitting the cap snugly on her head, she crossed over to her bedside table and opened the drawer. She pulled out a magnifying glass and slipped it under her hat.

I’m not sure how this is going to help me, but hey, it’s a mystery, and mysteries always need magnifying glasses. Besides, I forget where I hide all of those emergency magnifying glasses.

With hat on head and glass in hat, she valiantly rushed down the stairs. She completely ignored the panicked cry of Mr. Cake as she nearly ran through him and out the door, completely forgeting that she had an actual paying job she needed to do that day. However, pastries can always wait in the face of fanfiction oriented mysteries. Jobs can wait too. And any work of any kind.

Once outside of Sugarcube Corner, she glanced from side to side, searching for...something, apparently.

Wait...what am I even looking for? I have to think about this.

Pinkie sat down on her haunches outside of the confectionary, her tongue sticking out of her mouth as she searched for an angle to pursue this mystery. She blatently ignored the second light bulb to appear over her head in the past ten minutes as another idea struck her.

I've got it! All I have to do is check genres by doing stuff that fit in whatever genre it is! Like, um...oh!

Getting to her hooves, Pinkie let in a mighty mouthful of air and threw her head back, preparing a mighty yawp.

"FUCK!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. The scream eminated throughout the entire town, it's earthshattering volume nearly tearing homes from their foundations. Lowering her head, Pinkie smiled to herself.

There, no censor! Now I know that it's not intended for everybody.

Several nearby mares shot her dirty looks as they covered the ears of their children. One colt with a rotary hat and a brown coat looked up to his mother, confused.

"Mommy, what's a fuck?" he asked innocently. Scowling at him, she bit onto his ear and dragged him off, and made muffled promises of something involving soap and mouths.

Pinkie, oblivious to the glares burning through her, skipped happily down the road.

Well, it doens't narrow down much, but it's a start. Oh man...it could just be so many different things! The possibilites are endless! Me and the girls could save the world by an evil red and black alicorn, or I could become an alicorn, or maybe Discord could turn all of us into stallions, or some fictional character from another dimension could be my friend, or, or....oooh, I just can't wait to find out!