Whinnypeg.

by Phoenix Quill

Rating: everyone
Tags: Sunset Shimmer, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Comedy, Rarity, Random, Human
Length: 3104

Applejack loves riding her horse Whinnypeg whenever she's not at school. Too bad she's gone missing, even worse that the portal to Equestria is open right now.

Whinnypeg is probably the smartest horse that anyone had the pleasure of meeting, but Twilight Sparkle isn't impressed with her, and would rather go back to Equestria with Sunset Shimmer to go shopping. Too bad that Whinnypeg wants to go too. Even worse, is how the portal reacts to a horse going into Equestria.

Published 2015-04-29 16:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-29 16:10:01 UTC

There's something wrong with her...

"So, it doesn't strike you strange that she's just a dumb animal?" Twilight asked as she leaned on the fence to pass an apple to the horse in it's paddock.

"Not any more really," Sunset Shimmer replied with a shrug. "I mean, the first time I saw her, I thought that she would be able to at least hold a conversation. It didn't take me too long to find out," before she could finish her sentence, the horse decided that that moment was just as good as any to relieve herself before running off to investigate her water trough.

Twilight gave a sad shake of her head at the sight before climbing down away from the fence. "Stupid," she said to finish her friends sentence.

"Hey! Whinnypeg ain't stupid," Applejack said as she came up to her friends. "She's prob'ly the smartest horse in all'a this county." She climbed over the paddock and whistled loudly through her teeth, and Whinnypeg trotted over immediately and began sniffing at Applejacks pockets. "Now calm down, I got'cher sugar cubes right'chere." She reached out with a hand and held it shut before the horses muzzle.

Whinnypeg was excited for the sugar, and began pronking circles around Applejack, and promptly laid on her back. "Ugh, this is too weird." Twilight said with a frown. "Sunset, you wanna head over to Ponyville for a few hours to get some shopping done for anything Equestrian before I have to close the portal?"

"Well," Sunset said as she rubbed a spot on her arm. "I suppose a few hours would be alright." She hopped down from where she was sitting on the fence and began walking towards the direction of the high school at a decent pace. "I don't suppose they would have any burgers, would they?"

"Well yeah," Twilight said with a smile. "I know a great hayburger joint just a few blocks from my castle!"

As Twilight beamed with joy at the thought of her favorite food, Sunset frowned at the thought of eating hay. "Let's forget the cuisine, maybe somepony can make me a new hat," and with that, the two disappeared behind the fence, separating the farm from the road.

Applejack watched as the two left, and only turned away from their direction when she heard the thunder of hooves behind her. "What in tarnation?" She turned to look, but it was too late, Whinnypeg was gone, and if the screams of her two friends said anything at all, she'd probably just knocked them over. "Okay, one of them days isn't it?"

Whinnypeg of course, was indeed fairly intelligent. For a horse. And despite her limited knowledge about the human language, she was able to pick up on a few things. Like hay, hat, Equestria, and Ponyville. Being a horse of her mindset, it sounded to her like a good place to go as any other, and might be somewhere that a horse like her could be free to do things like the people do.

There were just a few problems with her plan. One was that she didn't know where the portal could possibly be, the other was that Applejack would probably find her, before she found it. With those things in mind, what mind she did have that is, she realized her best bet was to try the area that her rider went to often. The school.

Now she knew where the school was, she'd been there a few times with Applejack to give her a lift when she was running late and the truck didn't want to, turn over, whatever that meant. She also knew that whenever she was there, she had to be tied up near a statue of a horse. And while she would never admit it, (and couldn't but still,) she had often posed like the statue when nobody was looking.

And so, with her one track mind set in motion, Whinnypeg took off down the dirt road at a gallop, and soon enough, passed up the two humans, leaving them in the dust as Applejack caught up to the puzzled pair. "Did ya'll see my horse runnin' through this here road?"

Twilight and Sunset coughed a few times as the dust settled around them before nodding. "Yeah, we saw her heading for town," Twilight said between a few coughs. "I thought she was in a paddock."

"She was!" Applejack shouted before turning back. "Come on girls, let's get the truck rolling! We've got a horse to wrangle up!"

Forty five minutes later, the trio of girls were driving around the school area, searching for Whinypeg in the grass fields that surrounded the brick building. "Any sign o' her?" Applejack shouted towards the roof.

"No!" Twilight responded from her above. She stood in the bed of the truck holding on to the roof of the cab, looking all over for any sign of the missing horse. Suddenly, a smell hit Twilight directly in the nostrils. "Hey, Shimmer, does it smell like somepony forgot to flush?"

Sunset Shimmer raised an eyebrow from where she sat further back in the bed of the truck. "I wasn't going to say anything but..." She then looked over the edge, and saw in the grass, nearest to the statue were traces of the horses... "Road apples!"

"What does my uncle have to do with this?" Applejack asked the pair before she slammed on the breaks. "By Granny's false teeth! There she is, by the statue!" The pair in the back looked ahead of them, just in time to see the mare galloping as she chased what looked like a ball that had managed to find it's way to the front of the school.

"Alright, Applejack, bring us closer, and see if you can get her away from there, we don't need that horse to accidentally fall into Equestria." Applejack nodded, despite the fact that nobody could see her, and crawled the truck closer to the statue before parking it. "Sunset, you think you can distract her with that ball?"

"I'll try my best," she said with some doubt in her tone. "But I've never really handled a horse like this." The trio began to exit the truck, and as Applejack slammed her door shut, things happened altogether far too quickly. In one swift moment of entropy, Whinnypeg was standing on the ball that had distracted her from her mission she'd forgotten all about. But when the slam reached her ears, she turned to look far too quickly and lost balance, causing her to fall head first into the portal to Equestria.

The trip was short, but strange to the horse as she felt as if she were being stretched and skewed out of proportion by the forces around her. She had nearly passed out from the feelings, and was blinded by a bright flash of light. It wasn't until she opened her eyes that she realized that something was different for the horse.

Back at the world where Sunset Shimmer had made her life, she, Applejack and Twilight were panicking. "Oh by Celestia, what just happened!" she screamed as she began yanking on her hair. "What if she causes a disaster, there's no way that she'd blend into Equestria, right? Well, but what if the portal changed the way she looks? Oh no no no!"

"Twilight, calm down!" Applejack shouted before grabbing her friend. Look, you two just go in there and see what's going on. I'm sure you'll find her before anything too bad happens, right?"

"She's right Twilight, for all we know, she might just be right on the other side of the portal," Sunset offered with a smile. "Come on, we'll push her back through, and then we can spend a little time together, okay?"

Twilight breathed heavily for a moment or two before calming down and nodding. "Okay, let's do this." And with that, she and Sunset went through the portal together.

Meanwhile, in Equestria, Applejack was walking back to the room where Twilight kept the magic mirror from the kitchen with a small tray of snacks on her back. "I sure hope Twilight don't mind that I made myself a li'll something to munch on while I wait for her to get back," she said to herself before she pulled open the door to a scene of pandemonium. "What in the name o' bluegrass is goin' on here?!"

The room was a wreck, and things were getting worse by the sound of it as she saw Twilight and a yellow unicorn galloping around the room. "I can't believe she broke my portal!" Twilight screamed as she tried to catch up to whatever was running around behind the mirror. Suddenly, whatever it was turned towards Applejack and made a break for it. "Applejack! Don't let her get past you!"

She tilted her head in confusion, and it was just long enough for something to stomp past her in the open door, making a strange gargling sound, like a bad impersonation of a whinny. "Uhh, what was that?"

"Never mind," Sunset said as she wobbled with her attempt to gallop. She can't have gotten too far! Come on!"

"You're gonna have to go on without me," Twilight said in frustration. "Whinnypeg accidentally broke a few pieces off of the machine I use to activate the portal."

Applejack stood confused as Sunset Shimmer slid past her on the crystal floor. "What's a whinny-peg?" she asked before following the clumsy mare through the castle.

"She's human Applejack's horse in the other world," Sunset said nonchalantly as she got re adjusted to her quadruped body. "But the portal changed her when she came through."

"Well what are we lookin' fer' exactly?"

"Trust me," Sunset replied as she took the lead. "You're going to know it when you see it."

Suddenly, a scream came from outside the castle, and the two quickly made a break for the front door, and saw to their dismay that somepony left it open. The pair ran out and saw that there, in the streets that were currently flooded with panicking ponies, stood what could only be best described by Applejack. "Is that some kinda hareless ape?"

Sunset Shimmer looked at the tan colored human and nodded before slamming her hoof into her skull. "Worse, it's a naked, brainless human woman."

The human turned to the voices and saw the pair of ponies staring at her, and stood up on her hind legs and screeched out, "HeeeeAAAAAAwwWWWwwwwuuuuuuoooooO!" Before falling down onto her knuckles and trying her best to run away on all fours.

Applejack stared at the spot that the human had run from for a few moments, then finally took off her hat and put it on Sunset's head. "Enjoy cathin' that thing. I'm going to bed."

"Wait!" Sunset said as she held a hoof out, only to miss-balance and fall on her face. "We could use you if you could catch her with a rope, or something."

Just then, Twilight caught up to them, and began to pant from running the length of the castle. "Did you, *gasp* get her?"

The screams from down the street, followed by a building being toppled over was all the answer that she needed.

All was peaceful in the town square. The birds sang, ponies were glancing at the shops, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders had not blown up anything so far today. In other words, it was the perfect day for Lyra to sit out for lunch with her best friend Bon Bon. "So, i hear you're going to be headed to Canterlot soon," Bon Bon said with a smile as she picked out a leaf from her salad.

"Oh, you heard about that huh?" She replied sheepishly before taking a sip from her drink. "Yeah, I got a new manager for my shows, and he says I'll be helping with the re opening of a theatre."

"Well that's nice to," Bon Bon suddenly froze, and pointed a hoof behind her friend as a look of terror formed in her eyes. "By Celestia's flaming teat, what in Equestria is THAT?!"

"Really, there's no need for such language," Lyra said as she turned around, then froze as well. "My gods..." Just behind her a few feet away stood Whinypeg, in all of her naked glory as she sniffed at the carrots in a bin. " Eukaryota Animilia Chordata Mammalia Primates Hominidae Homo Sapien," she said rather fast before standing from the table. "They do exist!" She then raised a hoof into the air and shouted, "TAKE THAT CELESTIA'S SCHOOL FOR GIFTED UNICORNS! They all thought I was crazy, well let's see how crazy they think I am when I capture it for study!"

With surprising speed, Lyra grabbed a net that she had on her at all times in case of human emergency, and lowered it over the humans head in an instant. "GOTCHA!"

"FFERRIAHUGHDAPPULIP!" Whinnypeg replied as she took off with surprising strength, pulling the would be human hunter by the very net she tried to use to capture her.

"BON BON! HELP!" Lyra screamed as she was smacked into a building with enough force to knock it over. Bon Bon stood still as she observed the scene.

Finally, she decided that the best action was non-action as she took another bite of her salad and took a sip of Lyra's coffee. It's not candy, it's not my department.

As she watched her friend get dragged away, she saw coming from down the road, Princess Twilight Sparkle, followed closely by Applejack and a mare she'd never seen before. Therefore, she did the only rational thing she could. Opened up a newspaper, and pretended that she hadn't seen anything as the trio ran off towards the sound of screams that Lyra sang as she was dragged down Mane Street.

"We've almost," Twilight paused to gulp and catch her breath. "Got her," she wheezed out before she tried to take flight after her. "We just need to, *heeeer* caatch up so I can, *gasp* Teleport her back to the castle!" She then passed out in the middle of the road.

"Now hold still Sweetie Belle, or your going to get poked by those pins," Rarity chided to her younger sister as she fitted the dress around her.

"But Rarity, I was going to meet with the other crusaders to go for a dynamite blasting cutie mark!" She wined and stomped her hoof, only for a pin to poke her in the foreleg. "OUCH!"

"Sweetie, that's exactly the reason why you are here instead of with them. I don't need you blowing somepony's property up by accident. Again."

Sweetie Belle groaned slightly and stood stock still, and Rarity continued to sew the dress together. "Now, this shouldn't take too much longer," she was inturrupted by the sound of her front door slamming open so hard that the walls shook. That sound was followed immediately by nonsense noise, and a pony screaming. "What in the,"

"OUCH! Rarity!" She looked back at her younger sister to see that the vibrations of the slam, knocked Sweetie Belle over. Causing all the needles to stab into her side. Nothing dangerous, but defiantly on par with hugging a cactus.

For Rarity, this was of course, the final straw. So she quickly uprighted her sister, and, as sad as it was, pulled the pins keeping the dress together out to help her sister. "It's alright, you're going to be fine Sweetie. Unlike somepony that had entered my shop!" And with that, she stomped dramatically into the main shop, ready to attack, and then dropped her jaw.

Rarity had seen many a thing in the days since becoming friends with Twilight and the girls. But nothing could quite prepare her for a tall, bipedal hairless ape, well, at least mostly hairless ape, screaming out nonsense as it grabbed dresses and hats, only to slam them on wrong and roll around into a ponyquin displaying more clothes. Not to mention, a screaming Lyra being dragged every step of the way as she tried to desperately hang on to a net that was wrapped around the creatures head. "Rarity! Help me get her down!"

It didn't take long for Rarity to snap out of her jaw dropping, as she saw litterially thousands of bits worth of her product being destroyed in front of her very eyes, and was quick to cast a spell to try to pick up the creature. "Lyra! What in Equestria were you thinking, bringing a dangerous... thing in here?!"

"I didn't!" Lyra protested as she let go of the net. "She dragged me in here!"

Rarity was about to question things more, when the door slammed open again, "THERE SHE IS!" And before anypony could blink, Twilight came in after the unicorn and teleported it away.

"Well done everypony," Twilight said with a smile. "Now let's go back to the castle so we can send her back." And with another flash, Twilight and Sunset Shimmer left Applejack to explain things to Rarity.

"So, how did you find her once you lost track of her?" Applejack asked once she, Twilight, and Sunset had brought her horse back to the farm.

"Well, it's kinda embarrassing," Twilight said as she rubbed her arm with her hand. "Care to explain Sunset?"

"Well," She looked up at the sky as she tried to think of how to explain it. "I think your horse might be a bit sick."

Applejack tilted her head at the statement before tilting her hat back as she thought over the statement. "Well, she doesn't seem to be too bad," she commented as she looked at Whinnypeg. "What makes you think that?"

"Well," Sunset said as she fiddled with a zipper on her jacket. "It's kinda hard to lose us for long if you keep leaving road apples for us to follow."

At the same time that Sunset said this, Lyra still sat with a confused Applejack and Rarity, lamenting the loss of Equestria's greatest discovery since, ever. "Yes, I'm sure the anthropology club will be in as many tears as you," Rarity replied as she patted the unicorn on her back. "Now, here's a broom, you may start by cleaning the humans mess she made in that corner. And be sure to use the pet stain remover... I don't need that smell to stay in my shop.

Author's Note

I want to say that I'm sorry for this story.
But I'm not, I'm just sorry if the writing is sub-par.