Risqué Business

An increasingly large number of ponies continued to join in on the impromptu celebration as it raged well into the night. The walls and windows of Sugarcube Corner trembled as music boomed across the room and ponies stamped around the floor. The place was completely packed, and it was a wonder how anyone was able to squish through or even dance without trampling on each other’s hooves. Things had gotten so wild that some of the crowd had spilled into the street to enjoy a calmer, less suffocating ambience.

Twilight swayed lazily to the far off music as she, Fluttershy and Rarity chitchatted a little ways away from the bakery under the shadow of a neighboring building. Her left wing was still sticky from when some cider had spilled on her earlier on the dance floor, but otherwise she hadn’t touched any of the stuff all night. In fact, she had tried to keep well away from all of the alcoholic beverages available at the party, which included everything from the local hooch to more intricate crafts, such as the tempting Star Swirl Imperial — her favorite. Somewhat regrettably but duly all the same, the alicorn princess was completely and responsibly sober as was appropriate of any royalty when in public. And so it was only to be expected that she would eventually be stuck caring for the two lightweights of their group of friends. The joys of friendship.

“Daaaarling.”

“Hm?” Twilight looked over at Rarity who was blinking incessantly as she cuddled herself under the wing of their pegasus friend.

“Did you… Have you been listening to our, mm, conversation? Fluttershy and I just came up with the most wonderful idea.”

“Oh,” the alicorn rolled her eyes. “What is it?”

“Giant hats,” Rarity said.

“Giant hats,” Fluttershy echoed, head bobbing up and down.

“Haven’t you already done that before? You’re wearing a pretty big hat right now.”

Rarity shook her head vigorously. Her bulbous cloche hat slid down over her eyes, consuming her head like a carnivorous jellyfish. “No no no no, I am envisioning a much larger hat. One you could live in, Twilight.”

“I — oh.”

“I shall call it the hout.”

“Hat-house. House-hat,” Fluttershy muttered with her eyes closed.

Twilight snickered into her hoof. Although it was a bit of a burden going out with these two friends to anyplace that served alcohol, it was at the least always sure to be entertaining. She often took it upon herself as a burden of love. “That’s, wow! That’s great, you two.”

Rarity shook her head at the weak response and clicked her tongue. “Oh, tut tut. But you aren’t really interested in our little project, now are you? You’re more interested in that new mare in town.”

Fluttershy giggled wildly.

“You mean Fleur?” Twilight asked, ears perking in interest. “Do you know something about her? I haven’t been able to speak with her since the other day. I wonder how she’s settled in since then.”

“Oh, I know something about her alright — but I’m not going to tell you,” Rarity sang as she began to dance around blindly.

“What? What is it?” Twilight stopped the rotating unicorn with a hoof before they collided.

“Twilight? Is… Is that you? I can’t see anything.”

She levitated the hat off of Rarity and placed it on top of Fluttershy instead, who had her eyes closed anyways. The pegasus didn’t even budge as it slid all the way down to her nose.

Rarity sighed, relieved. “There you are, dear.”

“So what do you know about Fleur de Lis?”

“Oh ho, I know a lot about that mare," Rarity scoffed. "She was a scandalous figure in Canterlot, but a respected one as well. Regardless, you shouldn’t get mixed up with her, Twilight. No, absolutely not. She is beneath you.”

“Rarity!” Twilight gasped, completely taken aback by the comment. “That was harsh…” It was usual for the unicorn to share gossip here and then, but for her to so vehemently and openly talk down about another pony was uncharacteristic. Had something happened between them?

Rarity simply hiccupped and shrugged. “I’m a little drunk, Twilight,” she said with a dismissive wave of her hoof. “You’ll have to forgive me.”

“Ugh.” Twilight shook her head. “I’m going to go look for her again,” she said as she suddenly began trotting away from her two friends. “Stay there with Fluttershy! She isn’t looking too good.”

And with that she was off, heading once again towards the boisterous Pinkie party. There was a large, unsupervised line of ponies with no bouncer to bar them entrance, and yet the eager party-goers managed to obstruct each other in getting in and out of the bakery. When they saw Twilight though, the crowd parted as if by some unspoken rule concerning both her royalty and also her permanent VIP status at these events. Twilight tried reentering the party through the opening, but despite the outside crowd willingly moving aside for her, she found that the inner action of the party was much too packed and excited to really get around.

Rarity called something out from behind, but her words were drowned out by the raucous din that continually blasted out of the bakery. A pang of guilt nagged at Twilight as she ignored her friend; without looking back, the alicorn jumped up into the air and tried to fly her way further inside. She finally made it past the entrance, barely dodging through the fluid obstacle of raised hooves. But then she was stopped almost immediately by congested air traffic in the form of several drunken pegasi, a couple of stray balloons, and layers upon layers of impenetrable webs of streamers. She tried maneuvering around everything but quickly became tangled in balloon cords and unusually thick and sticky streamers — candy tape. It was too crammed and dangerous to teleport out of her mess; Twilight didn't want to blast anypony away with the shockwave of her instant materialization into an occupied space. So she remained airborne there for a moment, contemplating her options while chewing herself out of the edible party decor. There seemed to be only one viable way forward and it was down.

“Twilight, wait!” A blue aura wrapped around Twilight’s tail and tugged her down into the crowd. She turned around quickly and saw that it was Rarity, ducking and dodging past ponies towards her. When she approached, Twilight could make out the fresh stains and smell of alcohol in her friend's coat and in her wet, matted mane. It looked like ponies had spilled their drinks on her as she pushed by, trying to catch up. The guilt nagged again.

“Where’s Fluttershy?!” Twilight yelled, trying to be heard over the booming music.

“Still standing outside! I think she fell asleep! Oh, don’t give me that look! She’ll be fine so long as she doesn’t tip over!”

“I’m going to go talk to Fleur! You should make sure that Fluttershy’s still standing!” Twilight yelled as she turned away and continued her search. But before she could leave again, Rarity put her fore-hooves on both sides of Twilight’s withers and followed closely. They smushed through the crowd like that for about a minute before other ponies tried to join in on their conga line.

Rarity had to flick her tail at the unwelcome partiers to shoo them away. She leaned further onto Twilight and whined, “Why are you so mad, dear? Please, slow down for me!”

“I’m not mad! I just want to talk to Fleur! Maybe she isn’t having fun! Maybe she doesn’t have any friends to have fun with!” An image flashed through Twilight’s mind, of the mare standing alone in a corner of the room while sipping daintily on a drink. She redoubled her efforts and began aggressively shoving through the crowd.

“Well,” Rarity began, literally ramming herself through several ponies to get in front of Twilight, “I am your best friend and I just want to have a brief word with you before you go and meet with this strange pony! Stop for a moment and talk to me, would you?!”

Twilight gulped and nodded. “Okay, let’s talk... You seem a lot less drunk!”

Rarity’s tension left her as she blew out a lengthy breath. She then smiled. “Thank you, dear. And yes, I’ve sobered up a bit by rehydrating myself with that punch over there!”

Feeling thirsty herself, Twilight surveyed the punch area. But when she spotted the punchbowl however, something unpleasant dawned on her. “Oh no,” she groaned.

“What? What is it?”

“Rarity, that stuff is spiked! Didn’t you read the invitation? It said that the punchbowls with the little umbrellas in them would contain jungle juice!”

Rarity tilted her head. “Is that alcoholic?”

“It’s very alcoholic!”

“Oh my. Well then, before it hits me I feel that I should warn you about that mare!”

Twilight groaned again. “You already have!”

“No, you see —” Rarity looked side to side before leaning in to yell straight into Twilight’s face. “It’s a rather racy topic! Follow me to that table over there, would you?” She tipped her head towards an open table at the corner of the bakery.

“Okay!” Twilight yelled back, ears ringing as she followed Rarity.

The two of them slowly made their way to the table, careful not to topple anymore ponies for the night. They both sat down as soon as they arrived and shared a breath of relief. It wasn’t so loud in that area so the two of them were able to speak and hear each other at almost normal volumes.

As soon as she sat down, Rarity began swaying in her seat tipsily. She barely managed to keep herself steady by hanging onto the table with one fore-hoof while massaging her brow with the other. “Oh. Oh oh, whoaaa my.”

“Rarity?”

“That punch was,” she stifled a burp, “quite potent. I am getting veeery dizzy.”

“Uh oh. Alright, then give it to me quick," Twilight said.

“No,” Rarity huffed. “Not until you apologize to me.” She folded her hooves and leaned far back in her chair, somehow keeping balance on the arch. From her drastic angle it was impossible for her to be looking any further down on Twilight, her pose was so haughty. “I won’t tell you a word until you apologize.”

Twilight sighed. “I’m sorry.” She meant it too.

“Why are you sorry?” For all of the dramatics that Rarity was prone to, this was sincere. The unicorn was actually frowning, slight wrinkles forming around the edges of her normally unblemished face. Her eyes were tense and narrow, but Twilight could barely make out the evidence of serious hurt in them. She began tearing up herself.

It wasn't fair for her to have left her friends in their conditions, Twilight knew that. She realized now that her irrational desire to see Fleur was blinding her from what was really important. Truthfully, the absence of the unicorn had been bothering Twilight all throughout night. It was her party after all, and yet she was nowhere to be found! She had tried searching for Fleur, which resulted in her being separated from her best friends; and to make matters worse, some drunken stranger had spilled cider all over her. The wasted investments of time and effort along with the discomfort of her sticky coat had grated her nerves badly, but she tried to conceal it. Mingling with Fluttershy and Rarity, who she eventually found outside, helped her to cool down some. It just wan't any fair for her to be pushed over the edge of her patience so easily by the comments made by her oblivious friend.

“I… I do owe you an apology. A serious one. I’m sorry for ditching you and Fluttershy.” Twilight cast her eyes down at the table shamefully. “I was just so caught up in greeting Fleur here that I… You remember my first Pinkie party. I didn't fully appreciate it at first, and I was afraid that she felt the same way.” She closed her eyes and sighed again. “I got carried away, treating you like that. I can’t believe I treated you like that. I still have a lot to learn as the Princess of Friendship.”

“Twilight, no. Ish quite alright. There thereeee.” Rarity stumbled forward and wiped the moistness from her best friend’s eyes with the bumbling delicacy of a drunken minotaur. Her smile was warm and lop-sided, her eyes half-lidded and lazy.

Twilight blinked hard and scooted her chair back in alarm. “Rarity? Are you alright?” she asked, rubbing the pain from her eyes. When she opened them, Rarity was sitting as still as a mannequin in her seat, mouth closed and a blank expression on her face. Twilight was about to call her again, but suddenly the unicorn stirred back to life and leaned across the table until the two of them were staring at each other directly face to face.

“I won’ lasht mush longer,” she slurred raggedly. “I mush chell you now.”

“H-Huh? Oh, pony feathers!” Twilight dragged a hoof across her face. All of that alcohol seemed to have finally hit Rarity, and hard.

“Fleur!” Rarity exclaimed excitedly. “Sheesh an eshcort, Twily! A proffesh… eshcort!”

“Cheese and… what?” Twilight leaned to the side so that her ear faced Rarity. Maybe it would help her get a better understanding of the unicorn’s drunken ramblings.

“Don’ lehher tushoo,” Rarity spat as a spasm ran through her left eye to her right and back.

Twilight wiped the spit from her face and frowned in confusion and disgust. “I don’t understand, Rarity! Don’t lay her tissue? Done leather tattoo? What?!”

"Don' lehher tushoo! Don' lehher—" Rarity smacked her lips. "Don'... le... her."

Twilight wasn’t able to comprehend any of it before Rarity threw her hooves up in exasperation and then face-planted right onto the table. “Rarity?” Twilight asked, prodding her friend. She was snoring already.

“Ughhh!” Twilight grumbled something about always having to be the designated ride back home as she levitated the comatose unicorn onto her back. She left the table, friend in tow, and pushed herself into the mass of party-goers again, which went much smoother than anticipated. She melded with less effort than before into the now subdued swarm of ponies and it was easy to walk past them. They were much calmer; some of them had even stopped partying altogether. By the time she got to the center of the room, it became clear that they were all distracted by something. They were all staring in the same direction, as if enchanted. Curious, Twilight slipped through the unmoving ponies and went as close to the front of the crowd as she could go. She barely managed to spot the polished alabaster tip of an especially long and narrow horn poking above all the other ponies, just before it slipped away. Elation pumped up within Twilight as she went on her tippy-hooves and crept forward awkwardly, careful not to drop Rarity while also trying desperately to get a better view of the owner of the horn.

All of a sudden the ponies in front of her went wild, tossing their hooves in the air and jumping up and down in raving excitement. Twilight reeled when a stray hoof jabbed her in the ribs. She went down fast and barely dodged what could have been a buck to the face as she crawled on her tummy forward. Eventually, through the dense movement of stomping hooves, she was able to make out a clearing ahead. When an opening presented itself to her, she bolted straight through and popped out, breathing heavily, at the very front of the crowd.

Twilight skidded to a halt several feet ahead of any other pony, standing alone in front of what looked like a wide collapsible stage hastily put together and elevated by stacks of wooden platforms. Feeling out of place at her distance from any other pony and embarrassed by all of the excessive attention, she quickly shuffled backwards into the head of the crowd. Once settled, she tried to relax and watched along with everpony else at whatever event was being showcased at the party. Three figures slowly trotted into view.

At the edge of the set, Pinkie Pie climbed the steps onto the stage. She was accompanied by the local DJ, who set up quickly in the corner, and a tall unicorn mare.

“Fleur!” Twilight called immediately. “Fleur, over here! Oh, shoot.” She couldn’t be heard.

Twilight was about to try calling again, but a pink blur suddenly appeared next to Fleur and began pushing her to the center of the stage. The blur then zipped around, arranging everything from the lights and nearby party cannons to a microphone and stand before settling into the jittery form of Pinkie Pie.

“HEY, EVERYPONY!” the party pony shrieked into the microphone. “ARE YOU ALL HAVING FUN TONIGHT? YES OR YES?!”

“Yes!” everypony but Twilight screamed in reply. The alicorn was too distracted by the arrangements of the stage and the posing unicorn at its center. What in Equestria was going on?

Pinkie Pie giggled. “THAT’S WHAT I LIKE TO HEAR! NOW, WE ALL KNOW THAT I ONLY THROW PARTIES WHEN THERE’S A REAAAALLY GOOD REASON TO.”

The crowd roared with laughter. “Yeah, right!” the pony next to Twilight yelled, turning to her. “Just two weeks ago, Pinkie threw a party to celebrate the first time I ever tried kombucha. That pony is cu-razy!”

Twilight shushed the stallion, who then shrank away to talk to the ponies on his other side. Twilight was too engrossed in what was going on to be entertaining drunk strangers. But… what was going on?!

“WELL TODAY," Pinkie continued as she hopped around Fleur, "WE’VE GOT A DOOZY OF A REASON TO CELEBRATE, BECAUSE WE’VE GOT US A NEW FRIEND HERE IN PONYVILLE! SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO,” she began stomping her hooves and the crowd followed, “LLLLLLET’S GIVE A WARM PONYVILLE WELCOME TO OUR NEWEST RESIDENT, FLEUR DE LIS!”

Twilight’s hesitant “Woohoo” was completely drowned out by the deafening cheers of the crowd.

“Now,” Pinkie Pie began, her voice less loud but still rousing, “how’s about a few words from the mare of the hour?”

Fleur, who had been standing beside the screaming pony during the length of her stirring speech, took the microphone in her magic and stepped forward. “Thank you, Pinkie Pie,” she said with a winning smile. “A few words? Sure, why not.” She opened her mouth, but then slowly closed it and just stood there for a moment.

The crowd settled down as Fleur swept her gaze across the cramped assemblage of ponies. Twilight took that chance and began waving her hooves madly. The unicorn seemed to notice her, and she winked. Then she opened her mouth again.

As soon as Fleur cleared her throat, several beams of white light shot up from all around her, starting at the outer opposite edges of the stage and lighting two-by-two in an arch until Fleur’s frame was completely highlighted and only her shadow was visible. “Hello, my little ponies,” she said huskily, strutting out from the haze of light. “Allow me to introduce myself again. My name is Fleur de Lis, your newest neighbor, and I’d like to share with all of you my very special talents.”

Twilight sighed, relieved. So this whole performance was just an exhibition of Fleur’s talents. She was worried at first, watching Pinkie Pie and Fleur walk together onto the stage in front of almost half of Ponyville. Pinkie’s parties sometimes got out of hoof, especially when they featured the new pony in town. In Twilight’s worst case scenario she could imagine the pink pony rearing her party canon back and blasting Fleur out of the roof of the bakery or something crazy like that. But if it was just a single-pony talent show, what could go wrong? She trusted Fleur, and Pinkie was at the back of the stage to help if she was needed. Things could only go right. Yep, everything was alright: she reconciled with Rarity, found Fleur, and now there was a free show performed by none other than her newest friend. This performance would end Twilight’s night on a very good note. She readjusted Rarity’s weight on her back and stood there more comfortably. Her hard, curious expression shifted into a relaxed smile as she watched the unicorn pose herself, hip flared towards the crowd, eyes gazing back at them coyly.

Fleur took in a long, slow breath. Then she sang. “Yeaaaah,” her voice crooned out with a subtle vibrato. It sailed across the room as smooth as silk. Then a sharp beat snapped her into action and she slid out of her pose into some fluid hoof-work, much to the enjoyment of the crowd.

Twilight cheered and applauded excitedly. 'So she’s some kind of performer or entertainer,' the alicorn thought curiously. 'How exciting!'

Another beat snapped Fleur out of her dance-crazy funk. She kept still for a few seconds, and then tilted her head to the audience and sang, “Sometimes you feel lonely and cold, and other times you’re hot.” Her hoof stamped the floor and kicked off to the side; she followed this step to the edge of the stage where she walked just barely out of the reach of all the cheering ponies. “Well if you’re ever feeling bold, why not give me a shot? You’re looking for more than company, and I guarantee you’ve never felt it so good. So if you want some, come to me and I’ll do it better than anypony ever could.”

Twilight stopped her cheering for a moment, focusing all of her energy into the functions of her brain. She worked her noggin for some inkling as to what the lyrics meant. It sounded like she was trying to advertise something. It sounded like she was advertising herself.

Fleur giggled into the microphone. “But just how long can you go? Hold on, DJ! Slow down the tempo-o-o-o.”

The lights went low and the music stopped. “Awww yeah!” the shrill voice of Pinkie Pie echoed from somewhere in the darkness. Suddenly the party canons lining the back of the stage all went off at the same time. The massive boom that followed the flurry of canon fire shook Twilight out of her stupor, and she looked up with wide eyes at the silvery glitter fluttering through the air. Each flake glimmered in the cool lights like diamond dust. A hush fell over the crowd as they appreciated the effects of the performance. Then they were rapt again when a deeper, sultry melody began playing. The beats came slower now, and Fleur danced to them in the shimmering, sedate rain. Four other mares went up onto the stage and split up to position themselves on each side of her. They each stood there and turned themselves in a lazy clockwise movement, all the while bouncing their hips whenever the beats hit.

Despite the backup dancers, Twilight’s eyes remained glued to Fleur alone. She just gawked, slack-jawed, as the slim, sexy pony worked it right in front of her. She… her mind would not going goodly. There were just too many thoughts and emotions barraging her senses all at once. The strongest of them was also the most perplexing: a foreign heat invading her body and tickling her brain in the most confusingly satisfying way. What was her talent? What in Equestria was Fleur’s talent?!

Fleur made her last round and waved to her backup dancers as they trotted off-stage. She then turned and looked right at Twilight, who shivered as the two of them became locked and tunneled in each other’s sights. As Fleur sashayed closer and closer, Rarity’s drunken ramblings echoed in Twilight’s head. ‘Sheesh an eshcort, Twily!' The alicorn swallowed the dry lump in her throat. 'She's an escort, Twily!’ Fleur looked down at her from the stage, smirking thinly. There was a sharp glint reflecting in her deep, lavender eyes. 'Don' lehher tushoo!' She looked like she was ready to pounce. Twilight began backing away. 'Don't let her touch you!’

Twilight yelped as she turned around and began scampering away with her tail tucked between her legs. She went the long way around the crowd, hugging the wall and dodging past everypony and everything as she fled to the exit. She escaped into the brisk night air and took several deep breaths before quickly snatching the still standing Fluttershy up in her magical grasp. Her two unconscious friends bounced like rag dolls on her back as she galloped as fast as she could down the dirt road away from Sugarcube Corner.