The Fart

by MythrilMoth

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Equestria Girls, Mystery, Main 7 (EqG)
Length: 1180

The Rainbooms accuse each other of farting at a slumber party.

According to popular myth, girls don't fart.

Yeah, we all know that's a load.

Sunset Shimmer, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy are having a slumber party, having a good time as friends, when the unexpected happens.

Someone farts and stinks up the whole room.

None of them will admit they did it. Each of them is blaming one of the others.

Can a fart destroy friendship?

Published 2015-04-15 17:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-15 17:30:02 UTC

Six Irritated Girls

Six teenage girls sat in silence in Rainbow Dash's bedroom, glaring at one another.

The movie they had been watching was paused. Phones buzzed with texts and Twitter feed updates, but were ignored. Pizza lay on plates and in boxes, growing cold. Sodas sat in plastic cups, going flat. An electric fan whirred as it oscillated. Outside the open window, crickets chirped. In the distance, the soft hooting of an owl carried on the night breeze.

One minute passed. Then another. And the girls continued to stare one another down.

Finally, Sunset Shimmer facepalmed. "Look. This is ridiculous." She glowered at Rainbow Dash. "Just...admit it."

"Screw you!" Rainbow said. "It wasn't me!" She crossed her arms and looked sullenly at Pinkie Pie. "We all know who did it."

"We do?" Pinkie asked. "Because I thought this whole tense silence thing was because we keep blaming each other and nobody's admitting they really did it!" She wrinkled her nose. "Besides, I'm pretty sure it was Fluttershy."

Fluttershy gasped. "What? Me?! Honestly, Pinkie Pie! How could you even say that?" She cast her eyes at Sunset Shimmer. "There's only one person who could've done it."

Sunset narrowed her eyes. "I'm telling you, it wasn't me," she snarled.

"Well it certainly wasn't me," Rarity said snootily. She shot Applejack a half-lidded glance. "Only somebody with absolutely no class whatsoever would be capable of such a thing."

"Hey now," Applejack said. "Ah don't rightly like your tone."

"Well it had to be ONE of you!" Rainbow cried, standing up and throwing her arms into the air. "It's not like the fart fairy just popped in here and stank up my room with...with...farty nastiness!"

"You're the most likely candidate," Sunset said. "After all, you smelt it. You know the rule."

"Uhh...pretty sure we ALL done smelt it, sugarcube," Applejack said. She twitched her nose. "You know, if Ah didn't know better, Ah'd say it smells an awful lot like horse farts." She peered at Sunset.

Sunset groaned. "First of all, I was a pony, not a horse. Second of all, that's really mean. And last of all, IT WASN'T ME!" She looked at Fluttershy. "But you're right about it having a certain...vegetable stench."

"What! Why! I...I would NEVER break wind in front of all of my friends!" Fluttershy cried. "Or anybody! I couldn't endure that kind of humiliation!"

"Stop pickin' on Fluttershy!" Rainbow demanded. "It was Pinkie Pie!"

"Was not!" Pinkie retorted. "I didn't done do'd it!"

"Well somebody certainly...done dooed," Rarity said.

"There's only one person here so prissy she'd put up all this fuss t' not admit she done tooted," Applejack said.

"You were blaming Sunset Shimmer just a second ago!"

"An' now Ah'm blamin' you."

"Stop. Stop." Sunset stood up, rubbing her forehead. "Let's examine the facts." She began pacing. "At exactly 8:57 PM, someone in this room farted. Within ten seconds, Rainbow Dash began gagging on the stench. By 8:58 PM, all of us smelled the fart. Fluttershy opened the window, Applejack turned on the fan. At 8:59 PM—"

"Yes, yes, we were all there, and that was only three minutes ago," Rarity interrupted snappishly. Sunset glared at her and sat down.

Rainbow shook her head. "Look. There's no reason to keep playing the blame game. People fart. No big deal. Just...just admit it, then we can get on with the rest of the slumber party."

"I don't believe I can remain in the same room with someone who can pass such a horrid stench," Rarity said. "Especially if they refuse to own up to it." She glared at Applejack.

"Ah'm tellin' ya it weren't me!" Applejack replied.

"We need to find the farter fast!" Pinkie exclaimed. "We should round up all the usual suspects—"

"Pinkie, we are the usual suspects," Sunset groaned.

"No! Wait! Listen!" Pinkie said. "I don't think it was one of us! I think it was the Sirens!"

"The Sirens?" Rainbow cried. "Why would you even—they're not even here!"

"But they eat farts, right? Or used to. Anyway! There was always this big green fart cloud whenever they were around—"

Sunset groaned and threw a pillow at Pinkie.

"Hmm..." Rarity tapped her chin. "I suppose someone could conceivably have broken wind into the air conditioning..."

"Yeah, who? My dad?" Rainbow replied. "There's nobody else here but us girls and my dad, Rarity."

"Hmm...yes...well...it was only a theory, darling."

"You wanna know MAH theory? MAH theory is some PRISSY GAL don't wanna admit she farts like everybody else!"

"I most certainly do NOT fart like everybody else! I fart gracefully, silently, and politely!"

"I fart glitter!" Pinkie exclaimed.

Everybody stared at her.

"Well I do," Pinkie replied sheepishly.

Sunset screamed. "Look! It doesn't even matter anymore! Let's just...just..."

She was interrupted by a loud, wet, explosive ripping noise from the general vicinity of Rainbow Dash.

Everybody stared at Rainbow. She rubbed the back of her head. "Uhh...excuse me?" she offered weakly.

Then the stench hit.

"UGH!"

"Rainbow!"

"Holy CRAP, girl! Did you just—UGH!"

"Okay see THAT one was me. But the other one wasn't!"

"How do we know that for sure?" Fluttershy demanded. "It could be...it could be a...a serial farting incident!" She pointed a trembling finger at Rainbow Dash. "You're a SERIAL FARTER!"

"I am NOT!" Rainbow replied. "I only farted one time. ONE! TIME!"

"Once was enough," Sunset said, fanning her face with her hand. "Good grief, Rainbow. Maybe you should cut back on the nachos..."

"That's even nastier than mi—" Applejack covered her mouth with her hands.

Everyone stared at her.

Applejack sighed. "Aw, shucks. Yeah...Ah did it. It was me."

"Uhh...actually..." Pinkie looked down. "It...it was me."

"No, Ah'm positive it was me."

"You think I don't know when I poot?"

"Wait...so it was...both of you?" Sunset asked.

The girls looked around the room at one another.

Rarity, Sunset, and Fluttershy let out sighs.

Rainbow looked at them in confusion. "Wait...what am I missing here?"

Sunset coughed. "Alright. Everybody who farted the first time, raise your hands."

Five hands went up. Rainbow Dash stared around the room, eyes wide. "Wait. You mean ALL OF YOU—?"

Sunset, Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Pinkie all blushed and averted their eyes. "Sorry, everyone," Fluttershy said softly. "Umm...for trying to blame you all."

"Yeah, Ah'm sorry too," Applejack said. "Heck, Ah shoulda just fessed up t' begin with."

"Oh...I'm sorry too, darlings," Rarity said. "Even if it's unladylike to admit you broke wind, it's even more unladylike to accuse your friends!"

"I only started blaming you girls because I thought it was a game," Pinkie said.

"I just didn't want any of you to think I did it on purpose," Sunset said.

Rainbow blinked. "So...all of you farted at the same time?"

The girls sighed and hung their heads.

"...and my fart STILL smelled worse than all of yours put together?"

The girls stared at Rainbow as she jumped in the air.

"HA! I'm even the most awesome at farting!" Rainbow crowed.

Five pillows smacked her in the face, knocking her flat on her back.