Your Name is Randall!

by viclouiis

Rating: everyone
Tags: Human, Sweetie Belle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character, Comedy, Random
Length: 1005

A kid named Jackson wants to join the army. He tells this to his bathroom pass, who happens to be Sweetie Belle. Poor Sweetie.

When Jackson goes to the bathroom, he has no idea that the weight of an entire land rests on his shoulders. When he figures it out, he takes his sweet time deciding what to do.

(EDIT: Please do not read this if you are looking for a good story. I wrote it in 6th grade about a kid I didn't like. It's not good at all.)

Published 2015-04-16 05:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-16 05:10:02 UTC

My Name isn't Randall

It was a normal day in a typing class in a middle school on earth. Everything was going as normal. It was a relatively small class, but yoy don't need to know that. Nor do you need to know the names of every member of the class. The most important thing that you need to know about this class, is that the girls generally behaved well, and the boys generally didn't. Jackson was no exception.

The class was comprised of a few quieter boys, a very quiet girl, a few tight knit groups of girls, and one loud, rowdy, and just generally disruptive group of boys.

Jackson was the ringleader. He lead the others, and often got in trouble for it. Not that the others didn't, but that's beside the point. The point is, on that day, report cards had been handed out. Jackson had gotten failed in one class, had D's in three others, had a C in another, and a B in gym. His friends were teasing him.

"Haha, you're, like, super dumb! Way too dumb to join the army!" A kid named Spencer jeered.

"Hey, my grades are gonna get better!" Jackson said. A few snickers were heard from the girl's side of the room.

"Stop laughing! Look, I'm going to the bathroom!" He said over dramatically.

He grabbed a bathroom pass. The teacher of this class was a brony, and had a collection of My Little Pony figurines. For some reason, she used them as bathroom passes. Jackson happened to pick up Trixie.

"Me and Randall are going to join the army!" He said.

"Umm, that's not Randall," Three voices called out. Jackson put Trixie back and picked up Sweetie Belle.

"Fine! Me and Randall are gonna go join the army!" He said, and stormed out of the room.

"Umm, there are three problems with that," the teacher said, "First of all, there is nopony named Randall, second, the bathroom isn't the army, and third, don't you have to be over eighteen to join the military?". Jackson stuck his head back into the room.

" I heard that!" He yelled, and stormed off for a second time. The class laughed, then went back to their normal, boring lives.

Meanwhile, out in the hallway, Jackson was talking to Randall Belle.

"Randall, you're the only one that gets me! You're the only one that gets how much it hurts to be rejected by Leah, over and over! Randall, I love you," he finished.

"Who's Randall?" Jackson heard a voice. He whipped his head around to see who had spoken. There was nobody around.

"Down here," came the voice that any brony would be able to recognize. Jackson looked toward his feet.

"In your sweaty, weird hoof thingies, you dummy!" The voice came. By now, unless you're as clueless as Jackson, you'll have figured out that Sweetie Belle was talking. Or, as Jackson knew, Randall. Jackson had stopped halfway to the bathroom, and, having found the owner of the voice, started walking again.

"You're Randall," Jackson said.

"Um, what?" Sweetie asked.

"I said, you're Randall," Jackson said.

"Actually, my name's Sweetie Belle. There's been a curse put on Equestria, and we all need your help, so if you'd please just-" Jackson interrupted her.

"No, Randall. I can't help. We have to join the army!" Jackson yelled.

"Uhh, what's the army?"

"The army is what we're joining,"

"Um, okay," Sweetie said. Looking back, she really should have waited to reveal herself like Twilight had said. She did need to find the Chosen One, but how did she know the Chosen One from Starswirl the Bearded's crazy drunk uncle? There was nothing to be done now, Jackson was the Chosen One.

"Uh, do you think that you could maybe save Equestria first? Twilight only has me in this world for a few minutes, so I really need you help now, the Timberwolves are on a rampage, and-"

"If you're being sent here, are you important?" Jackson cut her off once again.

"Umm... Well, no. I'm about as old as you are, but I'm the only one available and young enough to enter your universe. Our worlds are so far apart that anypony that much older than me would die entering your universe. Now can you please just help us?" She said.

"Hmm... Would I join the army?"

"I don't know! I don't know what an army is!" Sweetie yelled.

"Well, they protect us, and fight our wars," Jackson said.

"So, like the Royal Guard? You'd most likely be a Royal Guard. Now can you please just come with me?" She was getting desperate.

"Just one more question. How did things get messed up in your world?" Jackson asked. Sweetie mumbled something that sounded like 'Bad bacon'.

"What was that?" Jackson asked.

"Bad bout of crusading, okay! Don't ask," she said. Jackson nodded.

"Okay. I can do this,"

"Good," Sweetie said. And they closed their eyes and were gone.

They appeared in Equestria. Nothing was left, and everything was charred. Jackson scanned the scene.

"Yeah, no, I'm out. I didn't think it'd be this bad," he said.

"No, wait! Stay, please!" Sweetie said. But Jackson was already gone. He had left a land of magic for a land of math class. Great move, Jackson.

"And that's where Jackson was when he went to the restroom for ten minutes!" Alice said.

"Really?" Casey said, picking up her books.

"I like it because death is implied!" Ally said. They went to class.

"And that's why you should never try to earn your cutie marks in being gladiators, girls!" Applejack finished.

"The world will end and Sweetie Belle will have to get some strange creature to help us who'll then abandon us?" Applebloom asked.

"Umm, uhh, y-yes! Of course, yeah, that'll happen. Totally!" She said.

"Sis, has anypony ever told you that you're a terrible liar?" Applebloom asked.

"Eeyup," Big Mac said as he passed by.

Author's Note

Hope you enjoyed!