Chapters This bright burning light penetrated in to their collective conscious driving a knife through their front lobe wiping out all of who they were before and pulls them down under to a murky depth of clarity and happiness. The knife pulls out and all is forced back out as the light dims and they remember who they are and what they had been made to be. Pieces called Frankenstein thrown together crudely with shared misery of their equal demise and thus they were thrust in to life once again.
"Good morning."
A small pink head flowered In the shining light as she seemingly floated towards the school. Her face never broken from a simple glass eyed doll stare as she graciously lifted herself up the stares and in to the catastrophic hallway. Only then did her facade come on like a mask to parade with the fools. They all waved and greeted her enthusiastically calling out praise and doting the small girl of 4'7. She smiles and laughs all the same while praying they never see through. She thinks of how they'll feel if they knew she lied to them all this time. The worry pains her.
Pinkie leaned against the lockers pushing her glasses up and twirling her straight hair. She kinda liked this look. Black ripped tights pink tank top and a denim vest with white high tops she drew a smiley face and sad face on either side. She noticed Fluttershy and instantly felt her chest get tight. She felt herself getting heated and skated down the hallway before she had to deal with talking to such a nuisance. She slowed gradually and glided down the hall kneeling on the board to text and watch for coins scattered on the ground. She reached a dead end and waited for Blue Grass to meet her. He stared at the ceilings her eyes darting following the slight cracks and holes that littered the white plastic tiles. She snorted out a laugh as she thought of the time they and another pair hid I'm the ceiling and smoked pot for the entire day. The smell was all over the school and they thought a dead rat was in the vents. She giggles again sitting on her board. Her cheeks turned pink and she stared down the hall the fleeting feeling of being giddy slowly fading.
"What's so funny, Pinkie?"
"Remembering, reminiscing, nostalgia overload shit stick." She smiled not turning to answer her tall lanky friend.
"Okay bitch." Playful banter always broke the tension and made them more open with each other in a weird way. Blue Grass was a skinny guy with long black hair and blue sharp eyes. He always carried a knife in his back pocket. Pinkie like him for being her friend through all the changes he said he wanted to see her grow from every new experience and grow with her.
His hoodie was grey an his pants coal black. He wore ruffed up vans and rocked scars from fist fights and had a shiny scar on his side that came from a knife being dug in from the hilt. It was a miracle her survived but he doesn't believe in miracles. Miracles are for the faithful.
Twilight had an eye for gutsy fashion choices. She had a dress that cupped itself under her breasts and a bra that could barely hold her breasts together. Of course it magically worked out on the chubby girl. Her face was round and her hair was cut in layers and teased so that it all went to one side leaving one side completely visible. She loved her hair and would never think of dying it but cutting was a fun expression and she values creativity and wanted it to mature along with her mainly left brained mined. People stared yes but no one would approach. She never talked never smiled and always had the right answers. It was intimidating, but fascinating. She had depth that she threw herself in and drowned in it. She was all to aware of her flaws and imperfections that she masked it with being perfection of being quality and beauty and top health. In truth she was sick in the mind. Poisoned by her depression that was ignored through life. She blinked and saw the pink headed punk skating down the hallway. She looked forward and saw Flutter Shy the diva. She wanted to be her and live her happy easy going life. She modelled herself after her but her height and weight would never fit hers. She was petite and so small. Twilight was 6'1 and 167 lbs. Not beautiful not at all. She slinked in to class and sat closest to the window away from the crowd. A paper ball landed on her desk she stared before opening it. Her eyes remained cold as she read out the words 'fake emo slut' she simply tossed it to the side like it meant nothing and went on with her work.
Rainbow Dash caught Flutter Shy by the wrist and offered to carry her bags. Before the words left her mouth the girl flinched and pulled away.
"Did I scare you?"
"No, no I'm alright. Can I help you?" She smiled sweetly.
"Let me carry your stuff." She took it without a word and headed towards the stairs.
"Don't you have class?"
"No."
"Oh."
She hated making small talk. She hated this school. Most of all she hated-
"Flutter Shy!" A boy ran up to them and began chatting her up. She smiled and laugh. Was that all she could do? Can't she cry and a scream? What's her deal. Rainbow handed the other girls things to the boy and said good bye half assing a lame excuse to leave. She ran up to the roof and sat with her back on the door. She flipped open her phone case and tapped the scratched screen. It flickered to life and she began typing a message to her basketball mate Flash Sentry.
'Want to chill?'
'Right now yeah meet me by the easy hall.'
'The place with the dead rat.'
She didn't wait for a reply and headed down her legs aching from the workout she put herself through each night. She was dressed in low cut tights and a short sleeves blue shirt that clung to her body. She was the leading Victorian in all sports that school had to offer all except one. Rarity was the top of the cheerleading game. She was the most flexible most fearless and extremely positive. Her looks matched her inner self. She shined so brightly that she was a gem all her own. There was one thing that separated her from the everyday and put her in a rare class called "Pure". She was a virgin. She alway smiled at her Rainbow Dash and talked nicely about things every teenage girl worried about. Something was always off about her when she was alone. She stared at nothing and her pupils would always dilate spasmodically and she would always looked pained. Rainbow hated her only for taking the only spot she need to obtain to be acceptable. She blamed her for all the things her parents would say. Rainbow shook her head and unlocked her locker removing her basketball and running down the hallway past the laughing ball of pink and black. She made brief eye contact and the pink girl stared smiled and said.
"What are you looking at bimbo?" And they laughed again. She waited at the other end bouncing the ball hoping for any relief from her life. She sighed and after 30 minutes of waiting she saw him and meet him halfway. They exited and ran through the parking lot towards the empty basketball court. She threw the ball when they were close and immediately got thrown into a game.
Rarity calculated the Geometry problems on her slip of paper. Her head throbbed with pain but she never let it show. She acted eloquent an part of the model society she knew was fabricated bull shit. Everybody either popped pills or purged themselves. She did neither her lack of sleep let her work out for hours on end. She looked outside and saw Dash covered in sweat running through the court. She made goal after goal and Rarity silently cheered her on. Her attention snapped back to her teacher beginning another lecture. She couldn't wait for gym.
A black cloud rolled over all of them and rain started to pour hard on the asphalt. The sentient bodies all dry but soaking in the black rain staining the cleanliness of their conscious. Days like this they feel ill. Days like this the rain washes them away.
Author's Note
Spasmodically updating to catch up with my fanfiction.net posts :D
The sun was barely peeking over the orange horizon as it rose. The sky was painted swirls of bright and dark blues and white wisps of clouds danced with it. She sat on a haystack and stared at the lovely scene. Her hat rested on her thighs. She was a strong girl with a beautiful body from years on the farm. Her long legs thick with muscle but soft to the touch and her small feet rough and worn with callous. Her skin was tanned and her long blonde hair was tied in a low braid and pinned in a bun. Her freckles littered her face and chest and gave her trademark grin a certain spice all it's own. But of course she had no time to see her potential for beauty or the fashion world. She had work and family. She jumped down once she saw the pink haired girl riding her board towards her. They said hello both with wide smiles. Pinkie was one friend she made but today she looked in a rush. Must be late. She waved good bye before heading up the less traveled orchard path. It was covered with plant life and branches and the wrong footing could make you snap your ankle. AJ paid no mind to the danger and did as she did everyday. She picked the apples and tended the trees while Granny did her things with Apple Bloom. When AJ asked why she simply got,
"Stop yer fussin' about; Ah need her to help me."
She sighed and sat down overlooking their home. It was big and quite roomy with a tender homelike feeling and the smell of apple pie drifted through the cool air. She blinked sleepily and felt herself nod off.
"Big Mac!"
"You ain't worth my time." She was shocked. It has been months since he left. Didn't he miss them?
"Apple Bloom had her innocence stolen from her while you slept peacefully. You wonder why she never touched you? Because I let her touch me."
"Apple Blooms a liar. You have to understand she doesn't want to work on the farm." Why was she saying these things?
"I ain't speaking to you." He turned and his eyes were pitch black and he skin rotten. Fire rose around her eyes and licked away all except his piercing black stare. She heard her name being chanted over and over making her ears hurt before the fire became too much.
She awoke from the heat coming from the sun and the call of her name, Granny needed her. She walked in her overalls dirty and her pant legs rolled up to her knee. They use to belong to her brother before he ran. She could still smell him. She walked towards Granny who beckoned her towards her. Apple Bloom stood behind her. The young girl looked ghostly pale in the shadows. Her eyes looked hollowed out and for a mere few seconds she thought she saw nothing but black holes. Feeling spooked she fled inside and helped Granny Smith tend to her cooking.
She bit into a ripe green apple and shivered with the sour sweet taste that dribbled down her throat. She thought over her dream mulled and pulled it apart bit by bit. She dreamt about that conversation they had in the barn so long ago before he left the farm. After a week it became persistent and played over and over again. It's been 10 months since then and Apple Bloom's birthday was coming up. Apple Jack didn't know wether to be proud or cry. Granny set three plates down on the table and ladled chicken noodle soup with rice on them. She turned and studied the portions. Apple Bloom was so bony now her meals are only getting smaller and Granny's bigger. Apple Jack waited til she left and gave her younger sister food from her own plate. Granny and Apple Bloom came back and they sat down to a quiet dinner. She stared at her sister who dogged down every bit of food on her plate.
"You girls are going back to school tomorrow. No ripe apples are here yet so y'all can have your fun." They both looked at their grandmother and then at each other. Apple Bloom smiled. It's been so long since she had seen her friends. They washed their plates and rushed off to bed. Apple Jack hopped in the shower deciding to wash off the dirt. She washed her hair and enjoyed the cool feeling after the confusing day.
"AJ! Wake up!" Apple Bloom shook get older sister. She was up earlier but she couldn't help it. She was going to school again. Her sister rolled over and smiled at her sitting up. She walked out and waited for her to get dressed. She herself was wearing a white tanktop and a black tiered skirt with leggings. Her long red hair was down and her bow was on the side. Apple Jack stepped out her blonde hair was down too and she wore shorts and a black top with her hat on. They walked down together and Apple Jack poured a bowl of cinnamon and flakes for each of them. She handed her sister the milk and are here without. Granny wasn't up yet so they wanted to splurge a bit and enjoy a belly full of something good. After breakfast they started to walk down the dirt path and on to the sidewalk towards the school.
"You ready?" Twilight asked Fluttershy. She towered over the girl obviously but she never let her get intimidated. She smiled up at her her eyes soft and vibrant.
"Of course." 3 girls walked up to them all with a different look on their faces. One bored, one smiling and bright the other arrogant but friendly. Until today they'd never would have all spoken to one another like this. They looked like a rag-tag group all from different spectrums of society. The emo the punk the captain of the cheerleading team the jock and the princess to top it off. People turned to look and gossip. Fluttershy would dispel any rumours obviously, maybe she'd say the principal wanted them to be friends with her because she's a positive influence. Was she really that devious? Her small lips turned up at the corners and her calm eyes overlooking the birds and other tiny creatures littered about. Maybe.
"Hey Apple Jack!" Pinkie called over a pretty farm girl just few inches shorter than Twilight. She smiled and waved before looking over the group.
"Mighty fine meetin' y'all! My names Apple Jack." Hellos and nice to meet you's were murmured before they went silent. Before any one could speak again the bell rang and every one moved inside. Apple Jack felt out of place. She didn't know where to go or what her classes had even been. She stood staring in all directions in the big school. She was grabbed by Pinkie and pulled along with the rest of the gang. They entered a room arranged with eight chairs in a circle with a decent bit of space. One girl was seated with her purple hair all pulled to one side, she'd seen her outside with the group. AJ wondered if she was a model. She sat next to her but the purple girl didn't turn her head. She sat and said nothing for a while. She watched Pinkie walk around the room and pull out all sorts of boxes and eventually a ball. She began to toss it at the door while she sat on the floor. The rainbow haired girl seemed annoyed but said nothing and turned back to the window. She looked at each girl and then at the boxes Pinkie had previously set down.
"Why are we here?" She turned to look at them and saw them look at her with the same expression.
"You don't know?"
-Lunch/Gym the day before-
Lunch finally rolled around and Rarity was helping herself to some strawberry's. the loud speaker cracked and Vice Principal Luna spoke firm through the speakers.
"Will the following girls report to my office-" she listed off eight girls Rarity being one of them, she stood and trailed down the office. Sunset Shimmer and Pinkie Pie were already there. She felt the tension that threatened to burst and stood a few feet from them. The both talked with venom in their words but she couldn't hear them. She didn't look as Vice walked out and scolded the girls before beckoning them in. She didn't realise the others had been there. They probably wanted to avoid the problems as well. They each took a seat except for Pinkie who leaned on the door. Luna handed out an envelope to each of them.
"Has Apple Jack been here at all day?" They all shook their heads. Rarity looked around. It was an odd group she had to admit but they had a vibe that they could have been best friends some where that they probably would have been close and had all sorts of adventures. She pushed that aside as Luna talked.
"You've all been asked to join a program specifically for girls with low self esteem. Now I know how could any of you girls be selected? We have had teachers study you and full out papers accordingly all of you have some thing attacking you silently that needs to be dealt with. So please try the first session and make yourselves happy." She smiled and dismissed them Pinkie being the first one out and skating down the hall way. Rarity wasn't sure what to think about this she didn't hate herself or maybe she did and just didn't know it? Maybe she's what the others should be modelled after. That's it. That has to be it.
The pretty girl with a diamond hair clip smiled curiously. Apple Jack shook her head.
"It's to work on our self esteem and understanding." The rainbow haired girl scoffed. Pinkie threw the ball in her direction. She dodged and gave a hard stare.
"Watch it! You almost hit me."
The door opened and two people walked in. One was scantily clad with orange and red hair lying loose around her waist. She looked around the room before she straddled a chair and started texting and chewing her gum loudly. The second girl had long white hair to the back of her knees. Her eyes reminded AJ of a sad puppy. She wore a white skirt and a grey shirt with a star in the middle. She sat on a table in the corner and stared down at her thumbs. A few minutes later the door opened again and a stout women with shiny little eyes came in.
"Hello girls. My name is Miss Storge. Please take a seat closer to me." The girls did as they were told. Pinkie sat leaning foreword her elbows resting on her thighs and the ball swirling between her fingertips. She studied all the faces in the room and smirked.
"This the best you got? Where's the girl who would cry if anyone told her she was cute? She slashed her wrists last year. I'm not that bad."
"I'm well aware of that. But this is a prevention." Pinkie sat back and stared at the lady amused. Twilight finally looked up. She brushed her hair out and sat up straight in her chair. She didn't smile at anyone. "Lets introduce ourselves shall we?" She hummed and nodded towards Pinkie who tossed the ball to her.
"We will use the ball and throw it towards any random one on the circle." She tossed it to Flutter Shy.
"Um.. My name is Flutter Shy."
"Nice to meet you. Tell us something you like?"
"I guess.. I really like to paint with oils." She smiled her eyes cast low. Pinkie stared, puddles could be a little deep. Flutter Shy tossed the blue ball towards Apple Jack.
"My names Apple Jack.. Ah really like studying the sunset. It ain't the same every time." She smiled awkwardly and tossed the ball to her left. The white haired girl looked scared.
"My names Trixie. I like to.. Make magic." Her eyes glowed with an eccentric spark ad she sat a little straighter. Flutter Shy seemed interested in magic. She tossed it randomly. A rough hand caught it and she crossed her legs before clearing her throat.
"They call me Rainbow Dash. I do all kinds of sports that's my thing." She lazily launches her ball towards Pinkie who grabbed it with ease before it flew over her head.
"I'm Pinkie Pie. That's all you need to know." She shot a look daring the lady to challenge her. She handed it to Twilight. Her heavily coated black eyes didn't register the scene but she reacted quick.
"I am Twilight Sparkle." Her voice was like water. "I like poetry." She threw her ball to the flame headed girl.
"Sunset Shimmer. I like sex and I have to say I'm pretty good at it." She laughed and tossed the ball across from her. Rarity caught it and held it in her lap.
"Mrs. Storge nodded and wrote down a few notes on her paper. Pinkie Pie looked around again a smirk on her lips. She shouldn't be here she should be with Blue Grass. She played with her pink basket ball shorts and adjusted her black tank top. Her white happy-sad sneakers had been replaced with black ones covered in marks. She looked towards Twilight and studied her unique get up. Her light blue dress and black stilettos, she really could pass for a model. Rarity was wearing a white top and black skirt with sandals. Her hair was down a diamond hair clip pulled her bangs from her face. Flutter Shy always looked good but Pinkie noticed something off. Something traveled up her leg and it looked like a cut. She stared wide eye'd before the small girl fixed her dress and turned away her eyes cast down again. Pinkie looked away and at Rainbow, black tights, sneakers and shirt. She'd see her later. Apple Jack looked rather nice today and wore her dorky hat. The country girl smiled and waved she waved back. Sunset Shimmer looked at her with mean eyes. She returned the look.
"What you looking, skank?"
"How's your Blue Grass?"
"Been getting tests since he fucked you, why you worried?" Pinkie smiled at her. Sunset Shimmer looked back at her phone and continued texting. The counsellor stared at the girls.
"Lets talk about you today Miss Pinkamena Diane Pie." The pink girl cocked her head hearing her full name.
"Shoot." She sat back. Rarity spun the ball in her hand looking a bit tired.
"What are you compensating for?"
My dick." She laughed.
"Pinkamena!" The woman was flustered.
"I'm leaving. This place has the vibe of a punch line to a bad joke. See ya." She looks at Flutter Shy as she walked by and out the door. The counsellor sighed feeling frustrated and turned her attention to Sunset Shimmer.
"What was the problem?" She sounded on edge.
"Smex and teen violence. The usual business. I want to leave too." She got up and slinked out the door. The remaining 6 girls sat in silence. Trixie looked distraught and the others bored or agitated. The counsellor dismissed them.
"WednesdayMorning we have another meeting. Tell those two trouble makers." She waved them off.
Flutter Shy rushed to the bathroom and smiled at all her fans. Once she reached the door she let her facade crack and walked in. The door shut immediately behind her. She turned to see Pinkie leaning against the door. "What's with those scars."
Pinkie was never one to beat around the bush they'd known each other since kindergarten had come for play dates and sleep overs. That changed in Middle School though, the pink fluff gave up on school and passed merely by brownie points. Flutter Shy felt a familiar feeling tugging at her heart. It traveled towards her knees and she collapsed. As soon as her knees hit the ground she let out a choked sob. Pinkie looked down at the shaking girl. Had she looked so frail before? Like glass on the brink of shattering to a million pieces some of which wouldn't return if you tried to put it together. Maybe those pieces were already lost? How long had she been like this a mess on the inside? There was nothing they could do for each other. She brought up the girl who killed herself only because Flutter Shy jumped at the word cut. Playing with the emotionally distressed wasn't her style, the candle in the corner was for that girl.
The candle stick was halfway burnt when Flutter Shy pulled from the welcoming embrace. She had no idea when Pinkie had wrapped her arms around her or why she kept an arm around her still as they lay on the floor. She was on her back her long pink hair bundles beneath her, Flutter Shy knew what made her. The sun always hit her just right and brightened her eyes.
"Who knew puddles could be so deep..."
"What?"
"Nothing." She turned slightly towards her and smiled a charming smile. They both laughed before Pinkie helped her up. As she washed her face the 5th bell rung.
"Lets go to lunch together, like we used to."
"Is.. That okay? It won't hurt your friends?"
"I'm known for being spontaneous." She combed her hair back. They walked out together and down the hall Pinkie carrying the other girls bag. They got a lot of weird stares. A group of girls walked up to them. The main girl looked at Flutter Shy.
"Is she bullying you? Why are you hanging out with her." Flutter Shy laughed and smiled. Only then did Pinkie notice how fake that sound was. That smile.. It isn't right.
"She's my friend from Middle School. We fixed out some misunderstandings and problems." The girls looked angry and surprised. She opened her mouth but Pinkie interjected.
"Your friends seem kind of controlling. Lets go I'm hungry." The small girl nodded and both walked away from the flustered group. As they stepped through the doors they found themselves in a corner table near the back door. Pinkie brought her a chicken salad and herself a sandwich. Apple Bloom walked over and smiled sheepishly.
"Hi Pinkie your friends with my older sister AJ. I just wanted to meet you she talked an awful lot about you. And your names Flutter Shy.. You're mighty pretty." Her smile was sweet and sad at the same time. Both girls smiled back.
"Yeah I'm Pinkie if you got any problems tell me ill make them disappear." The red head walked back in to the sea of people.
They sat in silence as the cafeteria emptied out. They knew the conversation that was about to take place and they both knew it needed to happen. Once the few stragglers left they both exhaled a breath they didn't know they held.
"I'm a self harmer.." She spoke soft like always. Pinkie didn't say anything. "I've been since we stopped talking in Middle School and you thought I'd changed. The truth is my mom ran off and my dad blames me. Whatever I didn't do to myself he did. There's cuts all over my body and a mask over my face. I smile but still deep down.." The small girl went quiet. Tears streaked down her face.
"Deep down I want to smile again. I want to smile the way I smiled with you all those years ago when I could have fun when my self value couldn't be gauged and my life was mine." She sobbed out the last words she collapses in to herself and cried out. Pinkie reached her hand out to her but before she could reach her the small girl stood up and grabbed her by the shoulders. And nearly shouted the next few words that the pink girl had wanted to hear for so long that caused them both to cry in joy and wrapped them in permanent happiness.
"I want to be with you again!"
When exile was their last hope and all the world had been burnt down by the fire that burned inside them. They danced on the cold ashes and sang their hearts out while rain that tasted like salt poured from the sky and they held each other again. The world has thrown them out but another pulled them in and this time it was only theirs. The storms overhead was steadily brewing.
Was it tears or rain? She didn't know it only tasted like salt. Twilight had changed into shorts and a top and left her home to go for a walk. She had frequent walks at different times when the urge couldn't be contained. She heard people laughing heard people talking heard people arguing and once crying some where deep in the dark wooded are of their medium sized town. Why couldn't she feel those emotions or better yet why couldn't she at least crack a smile or giggle. Why was she so robotic? She looked up and noticed how empty the world was around her. She felt like she was the only one here and the only one that would be here. It was kind of like her depression honestly. It was hers to carry and would be nobody else's burden. She cut through the same thick forage but instead of climbing the gate she nestled up against it and studied the lights and stars. She could point out every constellation and figure out any problem but she couldn't find the need to make a friend. I mean she had a friend before but..
Kindergarten was an ugly place.
"Twili!" Shining Armor and Cadence waved to her. Their smiles turned to frowns when they saw the bruises on her arm.
"They hurt you again didn't they?"
"Twilight you can talk to me?" She looked up at her baby sitter tears threatening to overflow. She nodded at Shining Armour who walked over to the teacher and began talking. Cadence cleared her throat.
"What's happened?"
"They said I was their friend Cadence I don't get it."
"Sometimes kids can be cruel."
"Maybe I should be cruel."
"That's not the way to go Twilight." She sounded firm but gentle.
"Yes Cadence. Ill find another way to make it by. Thanks." They sat in silence while her brother talked over the situation. Once he finished he smiled at them both and gestured to go home.
"Alright kids recess!" The teacher called out. All the small children filed out and Twilight stood not sure what to do. The teacher ushered her out and shut the door leaving her alone to face them. Three faces smiled at her.
"Want to play a game?" A boy grabbed her arm and pulled her behind the trailer. The girls held two balls and aimed them for her face. While this happened the boy started to pull up her purple dress and a shock traveled up her spine she was frozen, paralyzed. She stared scared at first but something in her head felt guilt. Guilt that consumed her every night for making her big brother and baby sitter worry about her everyday. Something snapped in her. She bit the boy holding her and attacked the two other bully's. Children screamed and the teacher came out a few minutes after. Twilight had blood on her tiny fists and the two girls lay sobbing holding their noses.
She stopped showing emotion at her new school and as the years went by her brother moved away leaving her utterly alone. And now here she is laying in the dirt unsure of what life is suppose to mean of what she's suppose to do or where she suppose to find a friend or really how. It was silent in her mind and all around her before a steady buzzing drew her from her mind. A bit surprised she opened her phone and checked her messages.
'hey it's Sunset Shimmer from that morning meeting'
'What do you want?'
'Lets be friend Twili'
She closed her phone. This girl had been messaging her tirelessly for a few months asking the same thing trying to make her spill her secrets. It got to the point she harassed her at school and left notes in her locker. Maybe she was a stalker or something. Or just a bully. She felt her phone buzz again deciding to ignore it she climbed the fence and crossed the empty street staring at the idle flowers that bloomed by her door. As she unlocked the door she was greeted by nobody. Her mother left the hallway light on for her during her walks to let her know they were home and waiting for her.
"Twilight. Come in here." It was her mother.
"Yes mom?"
"I think we should take you to see a therapist. We just wanted to know your thoughts on it." She was blank she was robotic.
"Ok. Is that all? I'm going to bed. Good night." She left her parents in the living room and in the quiet of the night soaked her drying pillow before nodding off to sleep.
Pinkie sat up in her bed thinking about the day she had. How the morning before they had been two different people and now she was on her bed again with her childhood best friend next to her. She remembered those nights when Flutter Shy would be scared shitless by something moving in the dark and some how miraculously play with a wild rat. She turned to face the small lump and felt a sense of peace from her sleepy smile. She clutched one of her old bears and snuggles against her small chest. Pinkie laid down getting as comfortable as possible before dozing off to sleep.
Rarity was up again but this time it was different. She was staring at the wall paralyzed by the screaming that went on in the next room. She forced herself up and quietly tip-toed out of her room. She could hear her mother and father arguing about the same thing over and over again. Money, cheating, or about Rarity. Her parents were young to have a 16 year old daughter. Her mother had gotten pregnant at 15 by her father. They thought it was love they thought it would last forever. That was until Rarity would wake up to them with different people. Her room was the room the used to sleep with other people. It would keep her awake at night and she would later develop insomnia that her parents refused to deal with. She stood in her nightie before walking back to her bed upon seeing her parents leaving their room. Both looked at her back flustered and red. They went out for the night leaving her alone in the cold expansive building.
What was tomorrow suppose to bring? Was the thought that echoed through all their sleepy minds as their eyes shut tight bringing them into a deeper darkness that they would never be able to fathom. The morning sun sent vibrations with a rhythm that danced on its waves through every window and on every sleeping face. Trixie was already up and was combing her long thick hair. She stared at her reflection and studied her large eyes. She gave up being the Great and Powerful long ago when a certain video was spread through the school. She became nothing less than a ghost. Her friends would talk to her in secret but never stand up for her when she became of the victim of bullying. She got up and left her home stepping out into the warm air and breathed in the morning and exhaled her poison. She walked down the block towards her school tension slowly returning to her body.
Flutter Shy was already up and making pancakes when Pinkie made her way to the bathroom. She had turned to say good morning but turned back flustered at the sight of Pinkies get up.
"Do you always sleep like that?" she twirled her fingers gesturing at her close-to-nothing sleepwear.
"At least i'm wearing a tank-top normally its just underwear." Flutter Shy's face was red and her hands shook as she flipped the pancakes.
"I'm gonna go shower wait up for me." She set about her morning routine combing out her hair and washing herself throughly. She strode into the hall naked and down the hall to her bedroom. Pinkie felt extra special today for some reason and was tempted to wear a dress. She opted for her short short's and t-shirt. Flutter Shy was setting her plate down when the pink girl entered and grabbed a cup of orange juice that had been previously set out. They ate in silence and almost couldn't look at each other due to the tension from last night. Pinkie had asked her to live with her.
"I'll wait for an answer Flutter Shy." She spoke out of the blue as if reading the small girls thoughts.
"I want to stay.." She mumbled hiding behind her hair.
"What was that?" She stared over her eggs.
"Let me stay.. Please."
"If you promise to cook breakfast everyday. Though i much prefer bacon." She spoke simply but their hearts were set ablaze. Both smiled and went about their morning rituals and getting ready to take the bus to school.
Trigger Warning. Suicide is an easy answer to a short question. It's never okay to think about taking yoUr own life. Value it, please. WARNING Please Read At Own Discretion.
Love yourselves.
"The girls are waiting by the statue." Her timid voice caught Pinkies attention. She looked at the girl who wore tights and a blue off shoulder top. People gushed over her but from afar. The lovely little doll and the big bad wolf of the school don't normally hang out or talk so casually. Flutter Shy trembled under the attention but Pinkie seemed almost in stitches by the mouth dropping stares. Their mouths fell even harder as they watched them approach the girls completing the rag-tag group. Pinkie was a little upset not to see Apple Jack. Had the country girl been detained once more? She looked around shifting her weight between her feet every now and then.
"So how was every body's morning?" She smiled a small but hopeful smile. Tuesday hadn't gone so well as two girls had left and the therapist seemed quite angered by those insightful events. Twilight stared glass eyes towards the expansive distance from her seat perched on the statue. Trixie just smiled and faced her giving a quiet 'Fine' before staring straight ahead at who it was hard to tell. Rainbow smiled and nodded tapping her feet to the music blasting from her headphones.
"My morning was fine darling. How was yours? Did you two bump in to each other?"
"That's nice to hear. Mine was fun and no.. Well kinda. It's a hard situation to explain."
"Are you two..?" Her eyes widened.
"What!?" Rainbow practically shouted catching a big enough group to surround them. She quickly sent them off feeling a bit embarrassed. Flutter Shy shook her head. Pinkie looked dazed and stared at the pale and blushing faces.
"Did I miss something?" She stuck her hands in to her pockets.
"They thought we were um.. An item." She smiled at her tiny feet.
"Best friends often seem that way. She stayed at my place last night." She quickly pushed out all thoughts of anything lewd with a quick look around. A young man approached them he stood tall but with a feminine stature. Behind him was head of a shiny black. Flutter Shy stared at Blue Grass with wide eyes her small heart shaped lips parted slightly and her fingers twiddled around each other a if trying to hide behind one another. The feminine boy called out her name and she turned slowly towards him. He engaged her in a less than boring speech about some indie rock band that his friend started. Rainbow Dash got caught up talking in the conversation the young girl extremely enthusiastic. Pinkie turned to Blue Grass who stared at Flutter Shy his eyes were actually softening as he stared. Pinkie looked to him then to her and back to him before a large smile came across her face. He jumped when the happy pink ball began bouncing around happily giggling and talking absolute nonsense. Needles to say, the boy was astonished.
"Pinkie that isn't like you."
"You like her?" She whispered while calming down.
"I guess." Her stare intensified.
"Okay! Yes!" He almost shouted covering his mouth an looking away as a blush danced on his cheeks.
"She likes you." The pink girl looked utterly serious. He couldn't help but laugh at her change from beyond ecstatic to the epitome of seriousness.
"Pinkie Pie you're so random." He smiled and she smiled back. They turned and watched as the small conversation became heated with Rainbow and the feminine boy bantered about who could play better and who plucked the worst notes. Rarity was to the side smiling while Twilight actually seemed to enjoy herself resting atop the statue. Her head hung off the side as she texted away at her phone. Apple Jack still wasn't here and it felt like she wouldn't be for a while. Needless to say her friend felt a little upset. Before she could think any further the bell rang and all the conversations moved inside the hall ways and class rooms. The girls rag tag group were escorted by the two boys to their destination.
"Ill wait out her for you." Blue Grass nodded at Pinkie as she stared at the smaller girl who found the floor to her liking. The others went in and a few minutes later a girl in leather approached the boys. She smiled at them.
"You know my scanties and bra are leather too. Just a thought." She walked past them and in through the door. Sunset Shimmer saw Twilight sitting with her legs crossed. Sunset Shimmer eyes the girls get up. It was plain today a rare occasion for that to happen. A skin tight black top and black skinny jeans. She walked up to the girl and sat staring at her hopefully. As the time passed by the girl never looked up from her phone and never started a conversation. She noticed Pinkie and Flutter Shy sitting with their chairs facing each other. The small girls legs were pulled up to her chest and Pinkie's rested on Flutter Shy's chair. They looked comfortable too bad Twilight never wanted to be that close.
"When did you two get so close." She sneered at the two pink haired girls. Neither gave her attention and she turned to look at Rarity and Rainbow Dash who completely ignored her to. She went back to quietly sitting as Trixie pulled open the window letting a breeze take every ones tension. Every one seemed more relax and small conversations started around the room. Miss Storge had been occupying the same spot for a bit and smiled at seeing how well the girls formed small strings to each other. She could see how ever Sunset Shimmer as Twilight Sparkle did not participate at all but sat out from the group. Both these girls really didn't even talk. She watched a bit longer seeing how Sunset glanced every few seconds at Twilight who still clicked away at her phone. She cleared her throat catching their attention and drawing all the girls to their respective seats.
"Good morning every one." They all murmured and she went about pulling out a board game. "Today will play a game that gives us topic questions. Will roll this dice and move spaces and whatever we land on we take that card. The two decks are scenarios and experiences." She dumped a few player pieces on the vacant chair and they each picked one. Pinkie was to roll first seeing as her birth month was early in the year. She landed on scenarios. Taking the card she read out loud the words printed on it.
"You see your friend getting bullied and you're also friends with the person doing the bullying. What would you do?" She flipped the card on the ground under the chair for safe keeping.
"I'd beat the crap out of the bully and scold the victim before sitting them down as having a calm rational Pinkie Pie discussion."
"I think it'd be best to remove the victim from the scene and talk to them first but not name a full judgement until you get the other persons reasons." Flutter Shy added quietly looking at her tiny feet. Pinkie smiled at the girls friendly attitude and precise form of action.
"Or maybe taking them to the principal or guidance office for help?" Rarity added shyly. The group therapist smiled at the progress they made. Slowly but surely everyone would talk without poison words. Sunset Shimmer squirmed trying to form the right words. Instead these came out.
"I got bullied. No one ever stood up for me." All the girls looked at her before Flutter Shy rested her hand on other girls arm.
"Tell us about it?" She felt reassured by the small doll. She didn't know what came over her but she lost herself talking in the now mostly one sides conversation. The girls had moves closer and took turns consoling her when she was crying. She didn't know though at the moment she just wanted to talk and share her heavy lonely burden. She must have been worse then previously realised because even Twilight Sparkle shared in her pain. Se didn't say anything or have any emotion away on her face but dropped her headphones on her ears completely shutting out the outer sounds of the world. She didn't se could find so much joy in a simple song. Her tears dried on her face and she was smiling while Twilight replaced Flutter Shy and played song after song to calm her down. Miss Storge stared a little longer before finally smiling. They had made an impressive amount of progress in two days. She began picking up her things before turning to the girl and telling them they have the rest of the time free.
"Use it wisely. Go out for some tea." She patted Sunset on the back sympathetically as walked out. The seven girls decided to lay on the ground with their heads propped on a bag. They talked lightly about trivial things. And even some boys. Flutter Shy had an immense blush across her face. Rainbow thought it best to stock up on tissue paper now that she'd be around Blue Grass a whole lot more. This girl was prone to nose bleeds as a child and use to get them a lot if she ever exerted herself. She turned to see Rainbow Dash looking out a window. Slowly she grabbed a ball and still laying down kicked it at her head. The rainbow haired girl grinned. She pegged Pinkie and everything erupted in to a small but happy battle. Three girls sat out and watched the battle of CHS expand.
Flutter Shy sat up straight and her hands rested on her lap. Her serene eyes watching over such trivial of battles. Twilight stared at her and did the only thing she could think of. She gingerly put her elegant fingertips on top the girls head before slowly resting it on her. Flutter Shy stared up at her and saw the tall girl blushing and staring away. This is the most emotion she's seen all day or ever. It even stopped Pinkie and Rainbow from fighting. The pink girls foot on Rainbows cheek and the latter trying to grab her. A silent storm began to calm and it dropped as a rich quiet laughter escaped a pair of lips that never smiled . Tears welled from an overflow of happiness in usually analytical eyes. Lips turned up at corners that seemed unnatural but pleasant at the same times. All the girls lost the tension and went their separate ways in the halls. A smile on every ones faces. Except one.
Trixie sat on the edge her fingertips twirling a pair of heavy duty scissors as she stared up at the ceiling. She felt numb her body felt cold she felt everything hit her at once and at the same time she felt empty. She didn't like this not one bit. No one had noticed her slip out during the commotion the therapist probably didn't notice either all she did was simply nod at her request while watching the girls. She had come back during the finale and sat out tossing the ball to the frightful girls. Twilights laugh only made her fall deeper in to her pit. It's not like she wasn't struggling enough climbing out. They departed in the hall way and she walked as fast as she could to remain inconspicuous. Kept a poker face to avoid confrontation. Finally she reached her destination in the theatre. She was a thespian at heart and loved being in the welcoming dome she climbed up the ladder and entered a back hallway and found a door leading in to the wall.
There she sat in the darkness her sweater put to the side neatly and her skirt folded up to give her space. She sobbed as she began to carve her skin full of words. Those same words that littered every inch of her room some big some small some neat some scribbled with anger. She did her best popping strong pain killers to finish her work effectively. Nearing her final black out she put aside the bloody scissors and stared at her cut fingers and arms. She only had one place left to deface. She pulled out a mirror and put on make up the way she'd seen her "friends" do. She wanted to look beautiful when they found her. If they ever found her. She couldn't move after severing her own heel tendons. Painful work but she never left things unfinished. That was her. That was Trixie the Great and Powerful. Yes that was her.. The brightest lights get snuffed the fastest. Fast has never been quite so painful.
sorry for not updating my phone broke and I forgot my password eheh [b]
What if that was me laying in that casket? What if it was me being buried six feet under? What if I could have taken her place? What if I could have saved her? What if I could have helped her? What if.. What if we can't help ourselves?
:-) Sunset Shimmer (-:
A bright flicker of orange, red, and black vanished around a corner. Running and running, furiously stampeding towards a blur of familiar faces. Before she was greeted with a hello she had already kicked two of the blurs and was pummeling the third. She had heard the nasty little jokes and decided to show that strange white haired girl justice. True she didn't know her but this was life. This was loss. It was like everyday since that day a piece was missing from the puzzle forever. It's strange how she was so close to her, how they all were near her. How she looked how her eyes were glittery. With tears perhaps? She didn't know. She was panting hard and sweating by the time she was done. The kids were either limping or running away. Her black coat had gone missing at some point. She left it behind and walked around the corner wiping her face and knuckles. Whatever pain she felt went unnoticed as she walked in to the school building and towards her class. She strolled through the hallway. Nobody looked at her and she liked it that way. Ever since the funeral she's been going to her classes. Late but trying and sometimes succeeding more than failing. She's even made a friend who's been teaching her coping methods. The friend who happened to be standing near the lockers before the class. She sighed and hung her head when she heard her huff. She didn't get a lecture this time, just a hug and a gentle shove into class. She would need another feelings jam pretty soon.
As she took her seat closest to the small book rack she noticed a short figure slumped in its seat. She turned her head to get a better look. And holy shit, it's the princess herself. A lot of gossip has been spread about the tiny girl as of late.
The most being about her causing the poor girls suicide. But that's just a nasty rumor.
:-) Fluttershy (-:
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fucking fuck. Fucking fuck's of all fuck's. Ok Flutters calm down. She sighs outwardly during her inner monologuing. It's not like I haven't heard rumors before but this hurt beyond every thing. And it was being spread by that back stabbing ass fucking dumb fu-. Calm Flutters calm. Her nails that subconsciously dug in to her flesh lighten up a bit. She winced slightly remembering her healing cuts. It's gotten worse since the whole.. ordeal. That poor girl she could have possibly saved.. Or taken her place. The door opens and shuts quietly and the teacher nods solemnly towards a student before returning to his lecture. She doesn't look up but relaxes in to a more comfortable sitting position. Her head resting on her arms. She felt snug in a cozy black sweater and skinny jeans. It was all she had been given as a goodbye present from Pinkie. She sighs again and turns her head away from the abrasive taunting sun. Who the fuck would raise it on such a day? Calm. Calm. Calm. Another quiet sigh and slight adjustment. During the time of preparations for.. the burial her father had wanted her to come back home. The school didn't know she had been living out in the tree house by the apple farm. Nobody knew except a sweet red headed girl who gave her the place. Her dad didn't even know she was sneaking in to shower or sneak food. But usually when she went it was empty for weeks on end. She could be stayed home but she felt compelled to talk to the redheaded girl about her issues and be there to comfort her. The only reason she didn't reject Pinkies invitation was because a few weeks before she stopped showing up. She saw her and waved but never came by anymore. She raised her head a few minutes before the bell rung. She got up, stretched and not having any books or a bag to carry, quietly slipped out.
A few odd looks and whispers make the fairy clad in black zoom quickly and quietly to her destination. The girls locker room. Her patience and mask becoming harder to control she nearly shoves any one in her way to get there. Having passed the trials of hell the people begin to thin out and she's once again slowed to a walk. She calms herself for the 50th time today and removes her sweater before entering the room. It smells heavy of a sickening mix perfume through out the day and a splash of pink again at the shiny black floors give it an odd atmosphere. Quickly removing her jeans and slipping in to shorts she stuffs her clothing in to a locker before once again running in to the half filled gym. It's shiny and like most gyms has about 8 basket ball hoops and proper floor lining. She sits idly in the corner out of the way of the ruckus from the group located in the center and scattered haphazardly all around. A few minutes of sitting makes her rump sore so she opts for doing a few laps around the gym. She starts with a light jog before finding her own pace. Gradually she picks up speed and sweat is starting to build but she feels no fatigue or pain. Her pink hair is flowing behind her and she can hear clips of people cheering her on. She hears a familiar voice whistle before she breaks concentration. She sees a mop of piercing blue hair before she feels her knees buckle and her hands slide out to soften the impact before she does a front flip and lands on her ass rather harsh. She's a bit dazed but not hurt. Jumping out of a tree house teaches you a lot about falling. As she regains her breath she feels some ones hand on her small shoulder before turning face to face with Blue Grass.
"Sorry." His cheeks are red. Cute.
"It's okay.." She gets herself up and brushes off her pants.
"So.." He looks around.
"I love the decorum. It's simply beautiful." She attempts to break the ice by teasing the awkward boy. He doesn't know what to make of it before he smiles and laughs at her goofy smile. She laughs too and for once it's sincere. Stupid kids.
On the other side of the room a few girls turn their rage of jealous whispers. One makes an interesting observation.
"Who wears a black long sleeved shirt to gym in an 80° building?" Almost simultaneously they drag up a horrid idea and set to putting it in action. All sort of hideous disfigurement go around about her.
' Maybe she has pimples every here!'
'What if she has scales?'
General over blown skin issues are passed around about what the princess could be hiding and how they could find out. After all what's a kingdom without a rebellion?
:-) Sunset Shimmer (-:
She couldn't stop the onslaught of giggles after watching Flutters take a tumble like that. Before she could move BG had already started an awkward conversation with the small girl. Sunset kept her place just out side the doors watching almost peacefully. After a few minutes she began to walk away striking up conversations with some one here and there feeling genuinely grand. During a fit of laughter she heard a scream and like most people she ran to the source. She didn't hesitate when she saw Fluttershy and Blue Grass being wrestled to the ground. She picked up speed when she saw Flutters shirt being lifted and her small belly exposed. She lost it when she saw the first line of a deep gash along her upper torso. She threw her weight against the person holding her down and was a bit surprised when she saw Flutters seemingly fly up and punch the person who tried to remove her shirt. Blue Grass was in his own quarrel and it turned in to quite the scene. Blood had already been spilt when teachers rushed in to stop the fight and we were all but panting. Exhaustion all but washed over Fluttershy and Sunset Shimmer supported her head as they sat in the principals office. They were sympathetic to the situation and pardoned the three with only Saturday detention. The perpetrators had all been round up and are awaiting trial.
Endless rivers annunciate painless wails
Pinkie sat on her bed with her legs folded beneath her. Her thin pink brows furrowed in deep concentration as she stared at this puzzle. 1000 pieces made up this puzzle and out of all of them she only had 576 pieces put together. The rest was left jumbled in the lid. She added a single piece to complete the face-cloud that was overshadowed by an unfinished sun and moon. Pinkie didn't care about the picture more so completing it was her objective. She had a few finished boxes all made of 1000 pieces. Kittens puppies sky's and water beaches and happy spring flowers all of them under her bed.
Rarity was sitting in front of the mirror her hair pulled up in a bun. Her eyes held heavy bags as insomnia reclaimed her mind. She'd have to inform the doctor about her predicament. These pills were suppose to prolong sleep and stop her night terrors. She stared in to her eyes studying all the marks and blemishes that accented her already flawless appearance. There was only one thing to do on nights like these, she pulled out her blue yoga mat and turned on her radio to a volume suitable for this hour.
Twilight walked through the park her mind was empty and she could feel the breeze on the back of her neck. Her hair was in disarray and held under her cap. She cut through the thick forage of plan life and hopped the fence heading straight for her home. She took walks to quell her needs of wanting to be alone of wanting to just disperse in to a colourful drop of water and be washed away in to the storm drains. She wanted to just die.
Rainbow held on to her bat and swung hard at the ball that was flying towards her. She hit every single one but still she couldn't stop this anger deep inside her. She had hit 3 homeruns a few left fieldes and and no fouls yet she couldn't be proud of her self. All these sports and friends but still no satisfaction no acceptance at home they always she should strive to be better. Whats better then this? She thought. I'm awesome Im looked up to and respected and I'm loyal to my crew. What do they want from me. The bat fell to the ground and he slumped against the fence and fell in to a deep sleep as her face became slick with tears.
Apple Jack carried crates of apple cider to her grandmothers kitchen. She cared for her and her siblings she knew but yet she wondered about her parents and her you get sister. Something had always been off with them. Granny said it was their mind. That something lingered in them that couldn't be cured. We stayed home a lot and missed school a lot. Social workers use to come and Granny would scare them off then she'd turn to us and tell us "There ain't nothin wrong with working on the family farm. Y'all got that youngins?" And we nod and she's give us our shared morsels before sending us to bed. My auntie use to say Granny touched Macintosh when he was AppleBlooms age. I didn't understand really but I always felt scared when her touch lingered on my shoulder. Big Mac had run away not to long ago he was 19 and I was going on 17. AppleBloom was turning 13 in a matter of months. Lately I hear her at night sobbing but I don't know what to do so I call her a liar when she tells me those horrible things. And I see the pain in her eyes and bags that become darker each week. She eats less and stopped cleaning herself. Granny would say "Ain't right for a girl like you to be dirty." And bathe her for hours. She would come out scrubbed raw and she'd stare with empty eyes. But it's all nonsense. Granny loves us.
Fluttershy sat in her tree house with the blanket pulled tightly around her. It smelled of sugar and cinnamon. She was a petite girl with flowing hair and a doll face that held dark secrets. Her hidden skin was cut in many places. Scars and long gashes wrapped around her belly and upper thigh. She wrapped coils of barbed wire around her. She blamed herself for her home and every night slept here since no one would look for her. A self harmer had to be alone she was dirty and needed attention. That's what her dad said. He said she was a liar and worthless. He held all contempt on her for her mom running off from them. He kept to himself and drank himself to sleep. They use to have good days and they would abruptly end when he saw her scars accidentally. He would beat her and leave again to drink. They stopped trying and avoided each other. Her stomach growled and she was full of pain but she forced herself to sleep.
School was tomorrow and they had an army to face.
Author's Note
Just a quick introduction to get a feel for the characters