An ordinary morning, it's time to get up, do something, and make life proud. The sun is glaring. The streets are crowded with chattering people, the highways are roaring and the air is still bearable to breath in. This is Earth I live in. And it's the only home I have.
I'm a hard-working employee in my company. My job is to arrange papers and make presentations, that's all I do. I watch My Little Pony and I'm a brony. But I don't tell my workmates that I watch a little girl's cartoon, they'll just laugh and mock at me for who I am. Day by day, I struggle. I eat, work and sleep. Just like a normal human would do.
But there's something bothering me throughout my entire life. I have this problem that I could not bear to live with. And that problem I have is, interacting with the people I encounter everyday, except for my friends. If I ask why this is a problem in my life, that is because the people I speak with is not really the problem, but myself.
I don't know why this happened to me or why did it appear into my life. Is it just me or is my brain just really that stupid. I can't even speak a complete sentence without me, getting nervous and thinking negatively about the person speaking to me. The only words I can utter is "Yes", "Um.", "No...", "Okay.", "Bye". I look like Fluttershy from My Little Pony. A pony who is shy around other ponies and can't speak a single word in front of many crowds. Unfortunately, there is no cure for this problem.
Will this problem be a part of my life forever?
I am carrying an imaginary burden into my life. I just can't make it disappear. It keeps coming back like a rain with heavy thoughts. My brain has its own mindset. I feel like I can't control it because I'm too weak to realize that it's just my imagination.
Why am I like this?
One day, while I was arranging my papers in my office. My boss requested me to make a presentation in a social campaign on how to improve one's self and how to interact with other people to help a person cope with anxiety. And it really scared me. My heart raced like Rainbow Dash.
How can I remove a person's problem when I can't find my solution to my own problem?
I am going to speak in public in front of many crowds explaining how to cope with anxiety. My mind just blurted out thoughts that I couldn't even control it.
What if I said the words incorrectly?
What if I get panic attacks during the presentation?
My brain was flooded with negative thoughts, just like when Twilight was anxious about her studies and she needs to find a friendship problem before sun down. Truly, this was a dark time for me.
I had no idea what to do. I can't think of anything that can help for my presentation. I asked my friends for an idea but they couldn't think of anything either. I was literally trapped in a cage, full of terror and negativity. But I still kept a positive side of me. I went outside to gather ideas and inspire myself without talking to other people.
I spent a few hours of strolling in the streets. But I still can't create any sort of idea. The Internet didn't help me either. I can't inspire myself with this kind of situation. I avoided several groups of people in the streets but I just smiled and nodded when they spoke to me. Earth is very hard for me to fit and live in, but it's the only home I have.
My heart is pumping so fast. My brain is flooded. There is no escaping this. I need to make the presentation. If I didn't finish this presentation, I would probably get fired from my job. It's the only one I've had. Well, it's better than nothing. Even if it's bad.
A few days passed, I showed my example of the presentation, and just as I expected. My boss was disappointed and angry at the same time. My body froze as he chided me. My eyes were glued on the floor. My mouth was trembling in fear. My anxiety was taking advantage of me at that time. How could I do something like this If I have this problem?
As my boss started to calm down, he said as he sighed to me "Fortunately, the campaign is postponed due to a 2-week holiday coming up. Members of the campaign will take the holiday as a break and get the things done. I hope this will give you the time to finish the presentation for the campaign. I'm sorry if I got angry at you. People with anxiety and the company is depending on you. I know you can do it. Try asking people for opinions about anxiety, maybe they can help you out. You can go home now." I was going to talk about my anxiety but I left the office quickly and just went home. The presentation was really bad, let alone the idea.
I saw my home across the street, I feel like I was all alone again, my worries vanished and no more negative thoughts. My body was filled with stress and sweat. It was so nerve-wrecking. I lied on the bed and I could feel my body relax and stretch as my brain and heart rest. But I still have work do to.
I always wondered if living in Equestria is much better than Earth. I mean, no one in Equestria will ever judge you on how you look and how you interact with them. But I'll face it, Equestria doesn't even exist. This is reality, it would take a huge miracle or some sort of magic in order for that to happen.
I don't know why but I know that out there. Out there in the Universe I live in. Equestria exists. Where ponies live together in harmony. I know there are some bronies out there too that Equestria exists for them. Believe or not, I wish I could live in Equestria forever and live in a carefree life. I'm always imagining things when I get stressed.
But...
There's something that I didn't expected to see with my own eyes.
My vision started swirling. I could feel the world bend around me. I thought I was having a panic attack and it really scared me so much. I turned my head to the side of the bed, to only see something amazing. I thought to myself.
Am I in myself right now? Is this real?!
My eyes were wide open. I really couldn't believe what I just saw. A portal appeared just right next to my bed, where I am lying right now. I don't know if I am dreaming or this is pure reality.
Can anyone see what I'm seeing right now?
My mind was freaking out so badly. This is not magic or any sort of supernatural events. Magic doesn't exist on Earth, as far as I know.
As I approached the portal, it felt so unnatural. So unreal. It was an unbelievable experience. My eyes were the only ones to see it. It's like the universe was ripped open and miraculously appeared on my bedroom. My mind was full of undecipherable thoughts.
But my anxiety started to get the best of me again. What if I could never go back in this world again? What if I die? I tried to calm and reason with myself. I can't go anywhere if I haven't tried it. I entered the portal with the little bit of courage I had.
I was far beyond my imagination, I couldn't think that I reached the point of extreme levels of fantasy. I ventured into another universe where no one will see me and know that I ever existed in my universe.
I slowly opened my eyes. My vision was blurred. I feel dizzy and nauseous. I can't feel neither my hands nor my feet. My body felt very strange and awkward. How long was I out?
After gaining a little bit of strength, I was finally aware of my surroundings. And right before my eyes, I saw a-
Pony?
My mind was fully on static. I was dumb-founded and drew a blank stare. I was teleported few miles away outside of Ponyville. I can see the pony in front of me, with my own eyes. The pony bravely stood before me and spoke.
"Hi? Are you okay?"
I was speechless. I couldn't move my mouth. But I managed to speak that was audible enough for her to hear.
"A-Am...fine..."
"Oh, I thought you were never gonna speak." said the pony.
After my eyes got a clear view of the pony. The moment I saw her. I knew who I was talking to. It was Lyra. We were on the same height. I was so nervous. She lifted me up with joy and said.
"Are you lost, dear friend?"
"N-No, I'm not lost. I was teleported here by a portal, leading into your world." I replied.
"A portal? That's strange." said Lyra. "We've seen no portal here. Ever."
I was confused. They didn't see any portal leading into their world. Am I the one who created the portal? Am I the first one to be here in Equestria? Did someone created the portal? Is it Twilight or Celestia's doing?
"Anyways, if you're new here. You should explore Ponyville or if you want to move here, ask the Mayor. I should be going now. See you later!" said the aquamarine mare.
Lyra left in a hurry. It was strange but I didn't mind it. I really couldn't believe this. I am in Equestria right now. I talked to a pony who I already know. I asked myself one more time; Is this really happening to me right now? I was crying in sheer joy. I will enjoy and experience everything I need to experience here in Equestria. I don't know what is happening right now in my world.
As I took my first step, I saw Lyra run towards me again.
"Um, on second thought, I wanna give you a tour around Ponyville. I've always wanted to do that to newcomers here. Can I?" said Lyra with glee on her face.
"Uh, it's o-okay. I already know my way around here." I replied. Lyra was saddened when she heard what I said, but she did remain happy.
"Oh. Well, if you have any questions. Come visit me! My name's Lyra by the way, what's your name?"
"Uh. R-Reed Ethans."
"Reed Ethans. What a strange name." said Lyra with a scrutinizing face.
"R-Really?"
"Yeah, names around here in Ponyville are usually Bon-Bon, Roseluck, Carrot Top and other names like that."
"Well, what name would I be? Can you name one for me?"
"You want ME to name you?" She said with excitement.
"Well, y-yeah. Who else would it be? I need fit in here in Ponyville, if I want to stay here." I said as I smiled at her.
"Okay, okay. Let me think of something unique for your name. Hold on."
I stared and smiled at Lyra with content. I can't believe that she didn't question about my appearance. I'm a human. That's oddly strange. But I didn't think that ponies around here are so friendly. Especially, Lyra. I'm already having a good time. Is this really it? Is Equestria better than Earth?
"How... How about, Cold Aurora?"
"That will do. It's a nice name." I replied happily. She was so happy when I accepted her suggestion. But it's strange. She's not the Lyra I know in the show.
"I'm glad that you liked the name! You should talk to Twilight, she knows everything here in Ponyville!" Lyra grinned.
"I'll keep that in mind. Well, I need to be going now, Lyra. I'll see you soon. Thanks for the name!"
Lyra left with a big smile on her face. I knew that she was a great mare when I first glanced at her. I wonder if there's any other mares that have a kind attitude like hers.
After I sauntered for several hours along the dirt path and took the time to see the colorful and bright world of Equestria. I saw Ponyville in the distance. I was hoping for great greeting from the ponies but it was not what I was expecting for. Ponyville changed alot. I saw the decorations around Ponyville were bland. Everything seemed different from what I know in the show.
As I started to make my way to Ponyville, my mind suddenly started asking questions without any reasons at all.
Why did the portal appeared before me?
Is it just coincidence?
I noticed that my anxiety still didn't left me. I don't know if I'm gonna have a carefree life here. But I need answers. I need to find Twilight.
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"Spike, have you seen my scroll? I can't seem to find it." asked Twilight.
"Yeah, yeah. I'll find it" Spike replied wearily as he rummaged around the Library but ended up exhausting himself. Twilight stood before him.
"Spike, now's not the time to rest. I really need it. You just messed up the Library. Now, how am I going to find it? said Twilight with a scowl on her face.
"I'm gonna look outside. Who knows that you've dropped it outside the Library?" Spike replied.
"Just hurry up." she groaned.
I saw Twilight's Library in the distance. Everypony I passed by were giving me a death glare. I tried to talk to one of them but they just ignored and snarled at me. Is Lyra the only one happy here? I don't know what's wrong. But as far as what I can tell with their faces, I'm not welcome here.
What is going on?
I saw Spike outside the Library sitting beside it, sleeping. I approached him with a little bit of confidence. My anxiety was about to kick in again.
"Uh, H-hello?"
Spike didn't hear what I said. I tried to speak louder without alerting anypony.
"Um? SPIKE?"
He woke up with a staggered face. He didn't know what words he will speak. But he talked to me like I was Twilight.
"I-I'm awake! Twilight! Still looking for the scroll! Just taking a nap!" Spike replied hesitantly. "W-Wait, who are you? How do you know name?" He said with a baffled look.
"My name's Cold Aurora. Sorry, I surprised you. I'm a hum-" Spike interrupted me quickly. He already knew what I am.
"You're a human, right?"
"Wait, how do you know I'm a human?" I replied with a scrutinizing face.
"I was reading a book explaining about humans. I found it near the river. I don't know why it was lying around there." said Spike. "I guess someone already read the book and threw it into the river, but I don't know why. But what I know is that-" Twilight suddenly came out of the door. She was shocked when she saw me. And she didn't like what she saw.
"Wha?! SPIKE! Get behind me!" Twilight exclaimed, expressing a staggered look.
Twilight teleported Spike behind her back. Her horn was ready to smite me with lightning. I don't know what to do. But I still managed to stop her from harming me.
"W-Wait! Wait! Hear me out!" I panicked.
"Speak. Now." Twilight replied with a scowl.
My anxiety kicked in and was killing me already with fear. I can't speak. I can't move. Why is Twilight so angry? This was not her attitude.
"She's the princess of friendship!"
"Why would she do this?"
I saw Spike whisper something to Twilight's ear.
"A human?" said Twilight.
"Yes, he's a human from another universe or world I think." Spike replied.
"Whatever that thing is, it's not friendly."
"Oh, come on Twilight. You don't know what a human is."
"Shut up, Spike. I studied and read many books about everything."
"But you don't know what a human is!" Spike exclaimed.
It was very strange. I know Twilight is not like this. This is not what I predicted about her. Is Equestria different from what I know as a brony?
"I think we should let him in the Library." Spike asked.
"Letting that THING in our Library? Are you out of your mind?!" Twilight shouted.
"We could cause an unwanted attention here outside, Twilight." Spike replied. "Give him a chance. He's friendly. Trust me."
"Alright. But here's a warning." Twilight said as she stared at me. "If I ever saw this human doing anything that I didn't like in my Library. He's gone. Here. Forever." she said with a grim expression.
My body sent me a shiver down my spine. I don't know what's going on. My mind is so boggled right now. Twilight went upstairs. I approached Spike with insecurity.
"Spike, can I ask you something?"
"Sure, go ahead."
"What happened to Twilight? Why is her attitude like that?"
"What do you mean?" Spike replied cluelessly.
"I mean, I predicted her as happy, forgiving and knowledgeable" I explained.
"Well, you're right about one thing. She's knowledgeable."
"Does she have friends?" I asked.
"She once had one. But her so-called friends weren't a friend at all."
"But I thought friendship is magic?"
"Well, friendship was magic."
"But why? What did they do to her?"
"That, I don't know. Try asking Twilight. But I know she's gonna smack you." Spike giggled.
"Well, I'll need to wait for her to calm down or give her a little bit of time to think and realize what is going on right now." I replied as I scratched my head.
"Your choice. Well, I need some sleep. I'm kinda tired for what happened today."
"Okay, Spike. Have a good rest."
Spike went upstairs. I stayed in the Library to think on what is going on right now in Equestria. I saw Twilight once again, going downstairs. I behaved myself quickly. She glared at me. My body sent another shiver down my spine. I can't look at her straight. She can banish me anytime she wants. My anxiety was really killing me.
"So, you are a human?" Twilight asked with certainty.
"Y-Yes." I stuttered.
"Does your kind have any sort of magic? Can you fly? Are you strong?"
"N-No. I d-don't have any s-sort of magic in me, I can't fly and I'm not strong. I-I'm just a normal human."
"You don't have anything special with you?"
"N-Nothing."
"Well then, your kind is not accepted here." Twilight smirked.
"U-Uh. What?" I replied as I drew a staggered look.
This is not the Twilight I know and love. Something is off about her. She cruelly talked about my kind. What on Equestria is wrong with her?
"Well, your kind doesn't have any sort of specialty. You, might as well, leave." said Twilight spitefully. "This place is filled with unpredictable events that you cannot even see or comprehend. This is not your ordinary world where everything is filled happiness or glee."
"W-Wha?...I...what?" I spluttered. "Twilight, this is not you!" I blurted.
"What?!" Twilight exclaimed.
"Why are you like this? I thought you were forgiving and kind. Princess Celestia taught you! Why are you like this now?"
"How do you know my mentor's name? Speak." said Twilight with a grim expression.
My mouth suddenly slipped. I couldn't take the heat and the words she is throwing at me. Now, I'm in trouble, and my anxiety hits again. My body froze like an ice. I was sweating buckets.
"Do you want to me to smite you completely?" Twilight said as she daunted at me. Her horn was charged with magic. She approached me very closely and gave me a glaring eye.
"N-N-No, no. Please don't."
"Then leave. Now. And never come back." Twilight said as she pointed her hoof towards the door.
I ran towards the door of the library without any hesitation. It was terrifying experience for me. I didn't think twice before I said that to her.
What was I thinking?
Is this really Equestria that I know?
What I'm gonna do now?
This is not right. There is something deeper here that I don't know of. I need to know more about the book that Spike read.
